WEBVTT - MINI! Should she keep her last name?!

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<v Speaker 1>It's the pick up around Australia with Britt Laura and Mitcheer. Hello, Hi, welcome,

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<v Speaker 1>thanks to Chemists Warehouse. Rush in to Chemists Warehouse for

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<v Speaker 1>feel in like a bit of therapy.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh therapy Thursday.

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<v Speaker 1>We love it.

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<v Speaker 2>This is ask on Cut sections.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's jump in Askat.

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<v Speaker 2>We do this every week on our podcast Life on

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<v Speaker 2>Cut podcast where you guys ride in your deepest, darkest

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<v Speaker 2>burning questions and we do our best to answer them.

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<v Speaker 2>And we have someone that's called in this week.

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<v Speaker 3>Beck Hi beck, I beg.

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<v Speaker 4>Hi, guys, I'm it's so exciting to be talking to you.

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<v Speaker 4>Please give me. I've got a call. I had a

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<v Speaker 4>call to Oh it's the worst nay voice, But I've

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<v Speaker 4>got a question for you. So do I change my

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<v Speaker 4>last name? Basically, my partner and I we've been together

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<v Speaker 4>for five years and we got engaged finally at the

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<v Speaker 4>start of this year, and our wedding is not too

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<v Speaker 4>fast around the corner. It's in February. I had told

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<v Speaker 4>my partner that I would absolutely change my last name.

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<v Speaker 4>And take his However, as we're getting closer to the wedding,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm getting cold feet and I'm feeling really nervous.

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<v Speaker 2>About it, about the wedding or the name chan.

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<v Speaker 4>More the name change because femininely child, my dad, his

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<v Speaker 4>sibling is. He only has a sister. So my situation

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<v Speaker 4>is if I take his name, like yeah, yeah, basically

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<v Speaker 4>it ends with me.

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<v Speaker 3>So what have you spoken to your partner about not

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<v Speaker 3>wanting to take his name or that you are feeling

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<v Speaker 3>like you're having a bit of a change of heart.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, no, not yet, because I think he'll be a

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<v Speaker 4>bit upset because I always said I would, and I

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<v Speaker 4>think he won't understand why I would change my name.

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<v Speaker 4>I did make a joke the other day about hyphenating

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<v Speaker 4>and he was like, wait.

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<v Speaker 2>What, And I think I think a hyphen's a happy medium. Look,

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<v Speaker 2>the whole taking the man's name is very archaic. It

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<v Speaker 2>always has been. It's just it's just what society expects

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<v Speaker 2>of us. No one even knows why we do it anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just what we've been told to do, so we

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<v Speaker 2>do it. I think trying to approach the hyphen if

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<v Speaker 2>nothing else, so you don't have to completely change.

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<v Speaker 3>But what are you going to do in the instance

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<v Speaker 3>if you guys have kids, So say you do keep

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<v Speaker 3>your name and then you have children together, what last

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<v Speaker 3>name would you give the kids?

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<v Speaker 4>This is this is the other thing I don't I

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<v Speaker 4>would assume they just have to take his name.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's the thing. Why do you have to assume? Also,

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<v Speaker 1>this is what I hate about this whole situation. Why

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<v Speaker 1>does this have to happen? I understand the patriarchy, We're

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<v Speaker 1>not going to destroy it in the three pm pick up,

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<v Speaker 1>But I just feel, what do you want to do back?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want to keep your surname or not? If

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<v Speaker 1>it ends with you? Does that upset you?

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<v Speaker 4>It kind of does. And I feel like it's so

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<v Speaker 4>nice that I have the same nickname as my dad

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<v Speaker 4>because our surname' is good Liss. What's fun to be

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<v Speaker 4>called Goodie?

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<v Speaker 1>Then keep it? Then My answer is keep it because

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<v Speaker 1>if that's how you feel, keep it. And you have

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<v Speaker 1>to have a conversation with your husband.

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<v Speaker 3>It's so hard because what if you know you have

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<v Speaker 3>had these conversations all the way, you are obviously engaged now,

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<v Speaker 3>and then you worry that when you do speak to

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<v Speaker 3>him that he's going to react badly to it, like, well.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not the right partner, even totally.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean that's very easy to say though, Like you know,

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<v Speaker 3>and Beck is actually living this. So if you do

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<v Speaker 3>broach this conversation with him, do you feel that he

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<v Speaker 3>will just be disappointed? Do you think he's going to

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<v Speaker 3>want to call the wedding off? Like, what do you

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<v Speaker 3>think will be his level of frustration?

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<v Speaker 4>I think I don't think he would call the wedding off.

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<v Speaker 4>I do think he would be really disappointed, and I

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<v Speaker 4>think I get the feeling he would take it quite personally.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't know your fiance, but I would

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<v Speaker 2>think if he's going to pull the pin on the

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<v Speaker 2>wedding over you broaching this.

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<v Speaker 1>Then it's probably perfectly honest. He needs to and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure he's a lovely person, Beck, but he needs to

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<v Speaker 1>understand the nw once of why you, why it's important

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<v Speaker 1>to you. I'm going to end up marrying a man

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<v Speaker 1>one day. We're going to keep our names. Means nothing

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<v Speaker 1>to us, and that's only because we have the privilege

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<v Speaker 1>of being two men. He just needs to understand what

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<v Speaker 1>is actually at play here. And I think regardless of

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<v Speaker 1>whether or not you choose to keep your name. He

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<v Speaker 1>needs to understand why it's important if.

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<v Speaker 3>You want to Beck speaking experience, I am. I got

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<v Speaker 3>married to my husband last year. His last name's Johnson,

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<v Speaker 3>and I've remained a burn and both of our little

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<v Speaker 3>girls have the last name Johnson Matt. When we originally

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<v Speaker 3>got together, he very much said that he wanted us

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<v Speaker 3>to have the same name in the household. He wanted

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<v Speaker 3>me to take his name, and I sat down and

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<v Speaker 3>had an honest conversation with him about how I really

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<v Speaker 3>felt attached to my name and I really wanted to

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<v Speaker 3>keep it, and I was so surprised by how okay

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<v Speaker 3>he was with it once he realized how important it

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<v Speaker 3>was to me, and he never pushed back. So you

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<v Speaker 3>may be pleasantly surprised, but I think if you're just

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<v Speaker 3>doing it because you don't want to disappoint him, but

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<v Speaker 3>it doesn't feel authentic for you, then I think it's

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<v Speaker 3>a really important conversation that you should.

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<v Speaker 4>Have, oh thanks to but actually makes me feel so

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<v Speaker 4>much better. I'm going to tell him. Laura said, yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>did you tell him?

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<v Speaker 1>Laura Burn said so, no, but sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>In your situation, Laura, Matt, your husband didn't change his

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<v Speaker 2>name to Burn. So if you want all the same

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<v Speaker 2>name as a family, that's where it comes to the issue.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't mind. It's like we have kids. We obviously

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<v Speaker 4>want to have kids together, and he would want the

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<v Speaker 4>kids to have his name. It's just more maybe my name.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and that was the sacrifice we made as well.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, oh no, that's really good to know. That don't

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<v Speaker 4>so much better.

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<v Speaker 1>And if the relationship falls apart, just blame Laura Burn. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>you know she's the one who pushed you in the end,

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<v Speaker 1>Laura Johnson.

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<v Speaker 3>She doesn't exists so much.

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<v Speaker 1>If you want to get in touch, you can hit

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<v Speaker 1>us up on the pickupsocials or the pickup dot com

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<v Speaker 1>dot you will get you on for an ask and cut.

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<v Speaker 3>Coming up, I want to tell you guys about a

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<v Speaker 3>very look a little bit hated a fight that I

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<v Speaker 3>had with my lovely husband Maddie j.

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<v Speaker 1>I may have doubled down.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh good, coming up

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<v Speaker 1>All right, that's next on the pickup