WEBVTT - FULL SHOW: Comedy Clubs BANNING Botox? 0:00:01.320 --> 0:00:05.960 A good pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura ben Rady. 0:00:06.120 --> 0:00:10.719 Your work, our windows done, my world, reason the dust 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:12.559 only good, babs all down. 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:16.439 I don't much, but yeah I'm not. 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:18.640 I'll big get and what I want. 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:20.240 It don't matter where. 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:23.320 This is the pick up, Hi, guys, it's the pick 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:25.479 up with Britt Hartley and Laura ben Hey. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:27.760 Thrilling news I read today. 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:30.960 Apparently there's a bit of a push in the political 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:32.440 world for a four. 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:33.040 Day work week. 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:36.800 When you say the political agree exactly agreed to this agree, 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:39.479 I mean I think a four day work week is 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:42.680 great in theory. Votamen, except I do like during the show. 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:44.080 So does that mean that we get a Friday off? 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:45.800 Or would we still do it because. 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:47.440 Out of the pure joy of our own hearts? 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:49.559 Yes, I would do this show for free, is how 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:50.279 much I love it. 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:52.080 Tell that to the bosses, but hear. 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:54.680 But if the bosses forced me into a four day 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:57.080 work week, I wouldn't be mad about it. I do 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:59.600 think we work too much, not you and I as 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.520 a like the hustle and the constant grind and the 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:04.000 feeling like we've got to be doing too much. I 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:06.160 think we need to kick back, take our shoes off, 0:01:06.200 --> 0:01:07.039 relax a little bit. 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.080 I think it's great for the people and terrible if 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:12.960 you are someone who like runs a business or are 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:16.000 a boss yourself, because having a four day work week, 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:18.240 you will never be able to convince me that people 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:20.119 will still be able to be as productive in four 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:21.160 days as what they are in five. 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:22.240 It's actually been proven. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:23.920 There are other countries that have brought it in and 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:27.760 productivity has been proven to have increased because people are 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:29.520 wanting to work harder when they come back, because they 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:32.240 have more job satisfaction, they feel more relaxed. They're getting 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:34.760 the same amount of work done, if not more, in 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:35.280 four days. 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:35.880 Don't quote me. 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:37.679 I think it was Japan. But doesn't it just. 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:39.640 Mean that people are just taking the piss for most 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:41.080 of the time of their five days of the week. 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:44.040 Then like people are only working at like sixty percent capacity. 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:45.640 No, I just explained it to you, Laura, there's an 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:47.000 increase in productivity and. 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:48.000 How much they're fuck you. 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:52.640 I came across an Instagram post on the weekend that 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:54.960 really kind of stopped me in my tracks and I 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:58.120 read this and it as a mum and as someone 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:01.040 who has been in the trenches with little kids. For 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.680 the last couple of years, I've sought of in there, well, 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:08.560 I feel like I'm dragging myself out, but definitely having 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:11.800 two kids under the age of two. There was a 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.120 period there where I would talk about and relate to 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:17.200 this idea of feeling like I lost my identity a 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.000 little bit, feeling like I lost my sense of self. However, 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:23.320 I never really felt as though describing it as a 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:25.799 loss of identity really made sense for me, because I 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:28.720 still knew who I was, but there was something that 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:30.799 fundamentally was different now that I was a mum. 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.240 Yeah, and I think it's the thing that you hear 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:34.919 the most from new parents in the first couple of years. 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:36.520 They all say the same thing. I don't know who 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:38.840 I am anymore. I don't know what I want anymore, 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:41.000 I don't know my identity. Like you hear that said 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:41.680 so often. 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:43.720 I mean, obviously it sounds like it's such a negative, 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.520 but it is something that's so many mums experience. But 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.320 there was a different way of approaching this conversation and 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:53.480 this Instagram post. It's from a psychologist named the Psyched Mummy, 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:56.240 and I resonated it with it so deeply, because it 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:59.920 wasn't about losing your identity, it was about losing your auto. 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.960 And it went like this, A mum came to see 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.120 me for therapy, and something she said stuck with me 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.600 for years, and I wonder if you might feel the same. 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:10.200 She shared all the ways her life had changed since 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:13.240 becoming a mother. I nodded with deep understanding, knowing just 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:16.800 how many parents felt similarly, including myself. And then she said, 0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:19.480 I don't feel like I lost my identity. I lost 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.000 my autonomy. And that's been the hardest part for me. 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:25.000 She was no longer in control of her life. Her 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.800 decisions were dictated by others. Even her time was not 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.079 her own. So it's not that she didn't know who 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:33.160 she was anymore, it's that she couldn't access that person. 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:35.560 All of the things that made her feel the most 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.680 about herself were out of her reach. She valued independence, 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:42.040 she valued spontaneity, she valued being in the driver's seat 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:44.080 of her own life. But she felt like that that 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:46.160 was squished somewhere in the back seat. 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:49.080 Now it sounds like a poem from Robert Frost, The 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:50.040 Path Less Taken. 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:54.480 That was deep, It really is, and I read it 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.720 and I was like, Wow, Okay, maybe it isn't identity, 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.880 maybe is autonomy. And I say this as someone who, 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:03.120 like I never expected to love being a mum as 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:05.920 much as I do, Like I deeply love being a mum, 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:09.040 and I love my children so much. But there definitely 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:10.200 are times where. 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:11.000 You wish you had my life. 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.600 Yeah, having a friend who's able to go and do 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:16.880 whatever they want to whenever they want to. It's the 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:18.800 small things, you know, They're not being able to go 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.400 to the gym or or go and just see your 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:23.800 friends or have time to yourself, especially when you're in 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:26.400 the trenches of little kids. I know what changes at 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:29.960 different ages and everything's the stage, but I don't think 0:04:30.000 --> 0:04:32.920 I realized how much I have experienced this to different 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.960 levels at different times throughout my motherhood journey until I 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:39.119 read it so plainly, And it also kind of gave 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:41.960 me the language to be able to talk about it, 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:44.120 because I think there's been times where I'm I'm not 0:04:44.200 --> 0:04:47.160 frustrated about not knowing who I am, but I definitely 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:49.120 have times where I feel frustrated that I don't have 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:50.200 time for me at all. 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:53.760 It's interesting because as the person in the friendship group 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:55.880 that doesn't have kids. I've always said to you. 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.440 Laura, That's always been what I've been hyper aware of 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.680 when I have been on the fence or justscussing whether 0:05:01.040 --> 0:05:03.680 I'm going to go forth and have kids. The number 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:06.640 one thing I always used to say is I'm aware 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:09.359 enough to know that I'm very selfish with my time. 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:11.880 Now it's like the inherent sacrifice you have to make. 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:13.400 I don't know if I was ready to make the 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.880 sacrifice of my time and not be autonomous. 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:18.000 So I've always been aware of that, and I haven't 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:19.720 gone into that stage of children yet. 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:21.760 But that's been my worry. So my worry was never 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.920 losing my identity. My worry was I'm thirty seven years 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.680 old and I've only ever had to worry about and 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:30.240 look after myself my entire life. How do I go 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:32.200 from not doing what I want when I want? How 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:33.320 do I go from I had a nap on the 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:36.479 lounge yesterday. It was brilliant, And every time I do it, 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:37.719 I wake up and I'm. 0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:38.240 Like, couldn't do that. 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:41.280 I wouldn't have done that. Could every time I do anything. 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:42.600 In my life, I'm like, wouldn't be doing that if 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:44.679 I had a kid. But do you think Matt feels 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:47.320 the same, Like, I don't think it's necessarily just the women. Obviously, 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:49.880 the women bear the load a lot more in the 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:51.960 mental load, the physical load, what they're doing. 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:53.560 But I imagine it's a bit of a change for the 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:53.960 men to. 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:56.599 I think it depends on your relationship. I think it 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:59.599 definitely depends on how much of the load is falling 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:02.040 on you the mum. We know that it's not an 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:06.680 equal disparity in most relationships or equal parity in most relationships. 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:09.960 But I feel very lucky because Matt and I share 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:13.160 the parenting load very, very equally, and at different stages 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.440 I've done more and at the moment he's doing more. 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.320 So I would dare say that he probably feels the 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:19.920 same in a lot of ways, Like I think that 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:22.279 he makes a lot of sacrifices as well as every 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:25.800 parent does when you have children. But there really is 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:29.640 this kind of sense of mourning, the ability to do 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.600 whatever it is that you want to, to be spontaneous, 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.719 to sometimes feel like you're fun because you kind of 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:38.039 give those bits of yourself up a little bit to 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.719 be a responsible parent. In the same time, I don't 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:43.320 know it's a there's like a sacrifice that's made for 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:46.440 a wonderful gain, and the gain is so worth it 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:48.440 in so many ways. But it doesn't mean that at 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:51.200 some points you don't have these moments where you're like, Okay, 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:52.920 I don't remember my. 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:54.520 Old self as my old self was. 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:57.719 So now that you put it into words from Robert Frost. 0:06:57.520 --> 0:06:57.920 I don't know. 0:06:58.120 --> 0:06:59.080 You feel better about it. 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:00.680 I feel better about it. But it doesn't mean that 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:03.360 it changes anything, you know. I think sometimes there's like 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:08.320 value and validation in being able to understand what an 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:10.640 experience is, even if it means that you can't change 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.480 it right now. And I think we're still at a 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.120 stage where our kids are really really little, and we 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:17.120 are still kind of in that. 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:19.560 Throes of parenting, and maybe it never fully changes. I 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:19.840 don't know. 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:21.320 I don't know what it's like to pairent a ten 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:22.840 year old or a fifteen year old. 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:24.520 I don't know when it is that you wake up 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:25.800 and you go hold on. 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:27.400 I can go to the gym whenever I want to now, 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.120 I don't know when that time is, but certainly not 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:30.200 at my stage of life. 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.560 Tell everyone again what that instagram was. If you want 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:33.440 to go look at the psych. 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:36.280 It's at Sight Mummy. I highly recommend it. It's got some 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:37.880 good nuggets of gold in there as well. 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:41.560 I actually can't believe what I'm about to say is 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:42.920 going to come out of my mouth. 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:46.440 But there is a comedy club in the UK. It 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:48.800 is called Top Secret Comedy Club. 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:49.560 So secret. 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:51.520 Well, it's going to have no patron soon. It's going 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:52.120 to be so secret. 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:54.400 Has no one that the owner has brought in a 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:57.480 new band, like a new checklist when you enter, so 0:07:57.520 --> 0:07:58.880 you know when you enter sometimes you got to get 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:00.520 a photo taken or you get their ID. 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:02.800 Check no songs and address code yea. 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:07.920 He has banned anyone from coming if they have botox. 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:10.000 How are you gonna police this? 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.080 No, he actually is going to police it. 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:16.080 Basically, he has just said our talent, like our comedians 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:20.600 are so sick of performing to reactionless faces because people 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.400 have botox and their faces aren't moving. So he's saying 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:27.200 that comedians are putting complaints saying that they just can't 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:30.440 it's so challenging to connect with their audience and delivered 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:33.960 jokes when they only laugh from like the cheeks down 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:36.640 like when their faces are moving, and when they only 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:38.800 hearing the laughter and not seeing it on their faces. 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:42.080 So he has said to protect his high end talent 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:44.480 like Dave Chappelle and Amy Schumer, who apparently go to 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:46.960 the club, he has said that you will now have 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.640 to be checked on entry, but he will be doing 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:53.760 reaction tests when you enter. Surely this is like a 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:57.280 lawsuit for you'll never getting I won't even get into 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:57.800 the lineup. 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.560 But mind you, I have migro botox. 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:02.640 I could you don't have to defend yourself. 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:05.240 No, but I could bring a medical certificate I reckon 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:06.880 and still get in because otherwise, okay. 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:07.880 Well I'd be up shit creek. 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:10.720 Wouldn't I I don't have a medical reason. 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:12.760 Okay, I did read this. We've got here. 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:16.160 I've had numerous complaints from performers who find it increasingly 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:20.120 challenging to gauge the audience's engagement and bounce off their reaction. 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:23.280 I'm sorry, but I would go as far. 0:09:23.200 --> 0:09:25.520 As to say that if the audience isn't having a reaction, 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:27.920 it's probably because the talent isn't that funny. Because you 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:29.880 can still laugh with botox. 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:31.120 I mean you can still. 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:34.400 Have no because no one's trying to do a laugh 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:35.400 without moving my forehead. 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:37.960 No one's getting that much botox that you can't move 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:38.400 your face. 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:39.959 That's a lie people do. 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.319 But you can move your lip, you can still laugh, 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.520 you can still have a reaction. I feel like it's 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:47.800 almost trying to blame a bad performance on the audience. 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:50.320 It feels like the ultimate gas lighting of your own audience. 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:53.160 Well, he said, comedy thrives on connection, and facial expression 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:56.079 plays a huge part. We want people to laugh, cry, 0:09:56.160 --> 0:10:00.000 frown sneer, but frozen faces from botox impact the entire 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:01.240 higher atmosphere. 0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:02.160 This is discrimination. 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:03.520 It is discrimination. 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:05.520 And I bet you, I'm sorry, I bet you half 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:07.760 of your performers have botox. If they're allowed to have 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:10.920 botox to deliver the jokes, the listeners are allowed to 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:11.360 receive the. 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:12.040 Jokes with botox. 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:16.080 What's the very famous comedian who just did the Golden Globes. 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:20.319 She's amazing, nikky glass, gleaser, glazer, whatever. I'm clearly super 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:23.200 invested in her work, but she is very funny. Cannot 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:26.480 move her face, she has so much botox, looks amazing, 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:30.320 that's no shade, but like can still deliver very funny jokes, 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:32.199 and it kind of like comes off because it's part 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:33.120 of her stick. 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:35.840 Yeah, but also if you're doing an expression test, what 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:36.720 if it's just useful. 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:37.520 What if there's a twenty. 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:38.800 Year old that wants to come in that hasn't gone 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:40.840 a wrinkle yet and their for it doesn't move though. 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:42.559 The forest stormy movie. Your eyebrows. 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:43.600 No, I can do it. 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:48.440 That's a frown. A frown? 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:49.079 Are you do it? 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:49.760 God? 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:51.160 Yeah, you're frozen too. 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.880 When I haven't had botox in months. Oh that's a lot, 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.160 It is true. How much of a frown I'm it's 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:57.599 not moving, You're constipated. 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.800 This one is for anybody out there who is single. 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:06.520 This is going to be a little hot tip for you. 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:09.080 Something that I wish i'd known back in the time 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.280 when I was out there flirting and trying to date. 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:12.640 Well, not all heroes were capes. 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:14.040 I'm just here to. 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:14.960 Save the day everyone. 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:18.280 I would say that I am a particularly bad flirt, 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:21.040 Like the idea of flirting makes me feel uncomfortable. 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.160 I don't often agree with you, but I will hear here. 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:23.839 Thank you? 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:27.640 What about me makes you think that I can't flirt everything? Oh, 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:30.079 to be fair, we were just talking about this. It 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:33.880 is shocking to me. Genuinely shocking that I managed to 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:36.840 win The Bachelor, because like, when it comes to wooing 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.520 a guy or flirting, I don't think that I have 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:41.560 a sexual bone in my body. 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.400 Like literally, it's non existent. That's more than. 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.080 Manipulation that you used to get not Yeah. 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:49.240 That's what my husband still says after eight years together. 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:50.600 I'm joking. I don't know. 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:52.520 I don't want it to come across the wrong way 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:53.960 like I'm bullying you. 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:54.800 You are, but that's okay. 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.680 No, you don't scream flirty. You just don't. I don't 0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:58.319 know what it is. 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.760 Okay, but while you get by being super good looking. 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:02.640 That's not even true. 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:04.800 But you can keep on and complimenting me, It's fine. Look, 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:06.880 the reason I want to talk about this is because 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.600 I think there is a very fine line between being 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:12.400 a good flirt and being a creep. Like that line 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:14.400 is thin, and you don't know what side you sit 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:16.280 on until you hear that someone's talking about you behind 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:16.600 your back. 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:16.920 Yeah. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:19.760 Right, And a lot of it comes down to eye contact. Now, 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:22.120 we all know the eye contact is very important, but 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:24.120 how much is too much? How do you know what 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:26.440 is the right amount of eye contact to hold with 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.320 someone who you think could be, like, you know, a 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.360 hot and potential partner. So there's a relationship expert who's 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:33.800 come out. Her name is Luanne Ward, and she has 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.160 said that there is an eye contact rule. It is 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:39.480 called the at twenty eye contact rule. The amount of 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:43.400 eye contact, like as in like maintaining physical eye contact 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:46.640 with someone that you should hold is only twenty percent. 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:50.240 What you should be doing is going around the golden triangle. 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.920 So you should be like moving your eye contact from 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.920 the eyes to the mouth, to. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.720 The nose, to the eyes to the mouth. 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.280 To how low down is that triangleg and that way 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:01.480 you know you've reached creep state. 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:03.360 That's the creepstate. No, but like it's the. 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:07.720 Moving of the eyes around that creates a sense of confusion, 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:12.280 not confusion I was gonna say of like suspense producer 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:12.720 Grace is. 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:15.400 Looking at me like I've lost the blow the room in. 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.320 No, but it's meant to like help you create a 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:21.080 sense of like lust rather than coming across as too 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:22.440 intense or two for long. 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:24.199 Well, okay, hear me out. 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.800 I am basically a relationship expert without the actual qualification. 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:30.640 What I will say is I don't think you should 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:33.160 be looking all over the face because when you look 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.520 at the forehead it makes people feel awkward, like they've 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:36.440 got something on their face. 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.240 That is, like I said, eyes nose mouth, eyes nose mouth. 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.000 Yeah, you literally said all over the face. Oh, but 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:44.960 I think when you look above the eyes, it's weird. 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.320 It makes them uncomfortable, like they've gotten something on their face. 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:49.200 What if I look at above your eyes? 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:50.520 I do, now I feel like I got saying on 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:50.880 my head. 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:54.480 Yeah what What I think the best thing to do 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.319 is is just a really subtle glance down to live 0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:58.240 like that. 0:13:58.240 --> 0:13:59.240 That was hot, Admit it. 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:01.240 I just did to you. Did you? Everyone in the 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:02.280 car field they felt that. 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.360 They felt it. They felt the tone shift in your voice. 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:05.480 You always make things weird. 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:08.839 It's like the subtle smiles and then the look away. 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:10.880 So like when you see someone produce a gray stuff, 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:12.079 raising your eyebrows at me and. 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:14.200 Like blow your kisses across the room. But that was 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:14.960 sort of hot too. 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.320 I think it's the like, for example, you might not 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:19.320 be in conversation with someone, but this is like my 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:22.720 main tip for flirting, look across the room at them 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:24.960 where it's out of your way, Like you might even 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.240 have to look over your shoulder at them, catch their 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:30.400 eye for a minute, little smirk, look away, ten minutes later, 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:31.400 little look back. 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:31.800 That's it. 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:34.480 That's enough, two second eye contact. That is enough for 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.600 them to be like hold the line. 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:37.720 But that's the question, right. 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.440 That's always to me is how long does the eye 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.040 contact need to be held from across the room, because 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.720 that's when it can err into Okay, that's too long. 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:47.000 That person's just staring at me. 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:48.200 You not a minute. 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:50.560 It's just not like a minute steering competition across the room, 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:51.680 like who can blink first? 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:52.200 You know what. 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.200 I also think though, fifty percent, yeah, sure, it might 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:57.760 be technique of like how you're looking at someone's eyes whatever. 0:14:58.040 --> 0:14:59.960 The other fifty percent is whether or not you're attracted 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.360 to the person, because if they're hot ass and they're 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:04.360 staring at you from across the room, it doesn't matter. 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.280 If they're standing there staring you for ten minutes, you'll 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.840 be like, so, I got it, not creepy. But if 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:10.920 there was someone who you're not attracted to at all, 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:13.320 then that's when I think it ers into creepy territory, 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.400 which is totally unfair, but it does show that we're 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:16.560 very superficial beings. 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.320 Absolutely, I wouldn't add anything to that. I think that 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:20.800 was a perfect wrap off of how to flirt. 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:23.960 Thank you, well done, Bruce Luen everybody. If you want 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:25.760 any more great tips like that, you can go to 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:26.760 Britney's Instagram page. 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:27.920 Brittany Underscore Hockeley. 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:30.640 Sorry, Golden Triangle. I'm pretty sure that means something else 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:31.440 in another country. 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:33.800 It does, It really does.