WEBVTT - INTENTIONAL CELIBACY - The path to Pound Town is closed!

0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:05.240
<v Speaker 1>Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout

0:00:05.240 --> 0:00:09.039
<v Speaker 1>Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We

0:00:09.080 --> 0:00:11.879
<v Speaker 1>pay our respect to their elders past and present and

0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:15.200
<v Speaker 1>extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island

0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:16.080
<v Speaker 1>peoples today.

0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:19.520
<v Speaker 2>This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.

0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:42.320
<v Speaker 2>Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:44.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and you know what twenty

0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:48.519
<v Speaker 2>twenty two side Laura fuck. Twenty twenty two was supposed

0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:50.199
<v Speaker 2>to be a good year. It was supposed to be

0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:53.960
<v Speaker 2>the year and now half of Queensland's underwater. There's so

0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.080
<v Speaker 2>much shit happening in Ukraine, which is horrendous. I just

0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:58.440
<v Speaker 2>think that the year is not the year that we

0:00:58.480 --> 0:00:59.240
<v Speaker 2>thought it was going to be.

0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:01.240
<v Speaker 1>But do you know, I think we've got to stop

0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:04.959
<v Speaker 1>thinking that it's going to get better. I think at

0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.199
<v Speaker 1>this point we need to live just in the moment.

0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:09.400
<v Speaker 1>I think we need to all embrace life, live every

0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:13.320
<v Speaker 1>day to the fullest because if anything that we've learned

0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:16.080
<v Speaker 1>the last few years, it's you literally never know what

0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:17.119
<v Speaker 1>is going to happen.

0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:19.480
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for that inspirational talk, Brittany.

0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:21.959
<v Speaker 1>But it's true, don't you think. It's like I think

0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:24.640
<v Speaker 1>of how many plans people have made, how optimistic we've been,

0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:27.400
<v Speaker 1>and I think it's really important to stay optimistic. For sure.

0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:29.080
<v Speaker 2>I was wondering where you were going with that, and

0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:31.320
<v Speaker 2>I was like, yeah, so everyone should stop planning anything

0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:34.000
<v Speaker 2>and like just give up because that's where we're at

0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:35.720
<v Speaker 2>in life. They ever going to get better than this.

0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:37.839
<v Speaker 1>The opposite. I think it's a little bit of a reminder,

0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:40.320
<v Speaker 1>and I think I am really guilty of it as well,

0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:43.839
<v Speaker 1>in not living in the moment and enjoying a day

0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:46.800
<v Speaker 1>or a situation for what it is. It's always I've

0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.520
<v Speaker 1>got to do this tomorrow, this is next week, this

0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.360
<v Speaker 1>is next year, We're gonna do this in four months.

0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:54.080
<v Speaker 1>It's always this looking ahead and working really hard towards things,

0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:56.600
<v Speaker 1>which is amazing. But how often do we all sit

0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:58.960
<v Speaker 1>here and just say, hey, right now, I'm having a

0:01:58.960 --> 0:01:59.600
<v Speaker 1>really good day.

0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.040
<v Speaker 2>I agree with everything you've just said, but I also

0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:04.280
<v Speaker 2>want to say, like, for anybody who is in Queensland

0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:07.400
<v Speaker 2>and is suffering with these floods, like, holy crap, we're

0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:09.600
<v Speaker 2>thinking of you. I can't even imagine how hard that

0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:12.000
<v Speaker 2>would be. I kind of feel and not that we

0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:13.679
<v Speaker 2>want to talk about what's happening in Ukraine, because I

0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:15.600
<v Speaker 2>feel like we are not the authorities to speak on

0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:17.480
<v Speaker 2>this at all. But I think that a lot of

0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:21.360
<v Speaker 2>people are probably feeling very helpless right now, Like I know,

0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:23.480
<v Speaker 2>like I've been reading the news, I've been trying to

0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:25.280
<v Speaker 2>step up today, I've been looking at what charities to

0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.840
<v Speaker 2>donate to, But I feel incredibly helpless by how big

0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:33.359
<v Speaker 2>and absolutely fucking devastating what's happening overseas is, and when

0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.399
<v Speaker 2>we're so protected and we're so lucky here.

0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:37.919
<v Speaker 1>No, and in terms of what's happening in the Ukraine,

0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:40.320
<v Speaker 1>like Laura said, of course, we don't want to be

0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:43.000
<v Speaker 1>a dooming podcast, But the fact is, there is a

0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.200
<v Speaker 1>part of the world that is undergoing something that no

0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:47.000
<v Speaker 1>one should ever ever have to do. And I think

0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:50.679
<v Speaker 1>it's really important that everyone educates themselves on that. And

0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:52.960
<v Speaker 1>I did put some links up. I did do some

0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:56.480
<v Speaker 1>searching to find places to donate that actually are really

0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:58.920
<v Speaker 1>helping the cause. So somewhere that I found and I

0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:01.120
<v Speaker 1>linked it to my Instagram stories. But if you are

0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:03.040
<v Speaker 1>wanting to help and you don't know how. There is

0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.160
<v Speaker 1>a page that I found that I did a lot

0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.280
<v Speaker 1>of searching and I found some other people that shared it.

0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.960
<v Speaker 1>It's very reliable. Her name is Bethany Frankel. Her instagram

0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:15.160
<v Speaker 1>is Bethany b E t h E double ny fr

0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:19.360
<v Speaker 1>A n k E L Now Bethany in conjunction with

0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:23.480
<v Speaker 1>b Strong provide emergency assistance to people in crisis. It's

0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:27.320
<v Speaker 1>an initiative in partnership with Global Empowerment Mission. They have

0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:31.120
<v Speaker 1>so far raised nearly three and a half million dollars

0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:35.480
<v Speaker 1>as of this recording, but that is just nowhere near enough,

0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.320
<v Speaker 1>and one hundred percent of their donations go to helping

0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:40.360
<v Speaker 1>those people in Ukraine. So if you are wanting to

0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:42.760
<v Speaker 1>look for somewhere to donate, that's where I have chosen,

0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:45.360
<v Speaker 1>and that is somewhere that I am going to recommend.

0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.160
<v Speaker 2>Even like caratasts, like I mean, I think if you

0:03:47.200 --> 0:03:49.160
<v Speaker 2>can spare a little bit of money just to put

0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:51.640
<v Speaker 2>towards whether it's a monthly donation a one off donation

0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:53.880
<v Speaker 2>like that will help in a big way. And I

0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:55.960
<v Speaker 2>know that a lot of people listening to this will

0:03:55.960 --> 0:03:59.360
<v Speaker 2>feel exactly how I felt on Saturday, which was really helpless.

0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.560
<v Speaker 2>The anxiety around feeling helpless, that something so big is

0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.560
<v Speaker 2>happening in the world, and that we can't really do

0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.560
<v Speaker 2>anything about it, but you can if you have some

0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.960
<v Speaker 2>spare money to help in that way. Now onto the

0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.840
<v Speaker 2>podcast and what we're talking about on today's episode. You

0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:17.640
<v Speaker 2>guys might remember a few weeks back we talked about celibacy.

0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:19.800
<v Speaker 2>It was a small intro chat that kind of grew

0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:20.800
<v Speaker 2>into like a bigger chat.

0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:22.440
<v Speaker 1>We just and then we became obsessed with it.

0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:24.240
<v Speaker 2>And then now none of us ever want to have

0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:26.640
<v Speaker 2>sex ever again because we're all working on ourselves.

0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:28.640
<v Speaker 1>That's a lie anyone listening. We definitely do want to

0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:30.440
<v Speaker 1>have sex again. I have sex on the weekend. Everyone

0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:32.000
<v Speaker 1>hoping that can be happy for me. Well, there is

0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:33.000
<v Speaker 1>no need to rub any more.

0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Some of us are not.

0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Some of us are healing. I'm glad for you.

0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay. So the chat that we had about celibacy wasn't

0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:46.400
<v Speaker 2>like your typical religious celibacy. It wasn't because of a

0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:50.280
<v Speaker 2>cultural perspective or a belief system. It was just like

0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:54.600
<v Speaker 2>every day you, me, whoever, chicks deciding and guys deciding

0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.320
<v Speaker 2>that they wanted to have some time off the emotional

0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.839
<v Speaker 2>turmoil and the physical connection that you create with someone

0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:03.440
<v Speaker 2>when you have sex or when you're chasing being in

0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:05.560
<v Speaker 2>a relationship, or when you're chasing that connection with someone.

0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:08.480
<v Speaker 2>So it's not just celibacy in a physical sense, but

0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:11.840
<v Speaker 2>also emotional celibacy. We spoke about our views on it

0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.000
<v Speaker 2>a couple of weeks ago, but after that we had

0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:16.680
<v Speaker 2>so many people from our community reach out who had

0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:21.000
<v Speaker 2>had some really interesting experiences from going free from the d.

0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.440
<v Speaker 1>NO, and it started as a like a TikTok trend.

0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:26.680
<v Speaker 1>That's where we found it. People were talking about their

0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:28.880
<v Speaker 1>celibacy on TikTok and what has done for them and

0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.760
<v Speaker 1>why they've done it. We got really interested in it,

0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.919
<v Speaker 1>so we had a little discussion. I have been celibate

0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.320
<v Speaker 1>before unintentionally just because I couldn't.

0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:38.599
<v Speaker 2>Get lucky in the past, but it also doesn't Carecay.

0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:41.279
<v Speaker 2>So the whole Celibacy's Chat thing was like, it doesn't

0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:44.320
<v Speaker 2>count if you're spending all your time trying to date,

0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:46.440
<v Speaker 2>Like if you're still going out there and you're texting,

0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:48.960
<v Speaker 2>you're still like on the dating merry go round, even

0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:52.479
<v Speaker 2>if you're not actually having sex. It's not really embracing

0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:54.599
<v Speaker 2>this whole idea of celibacy. So that was a joke, Laura.

0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:58.800
<v Speaker 1>It's definitely intentional celibacy. It's not as funny when I

0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:01.760
<v Speaker 1>explain it. It's definitely intentional celibacy. And I have had

0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:03.240
<v Speaker 1>friends that have done it in the past. I do

0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:04.680
<v Speaker 1>know people that have said, you know what, I'm just

0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:07.400
<v Speaker 1>going to do it. I know athletes through Drew Jordan.

0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:09.640
<v Speaker 1>I know people that have done it for three months

0:06:09.680 --> 0:06:11.880
<v Speaker 1>at a time. A lot of athletes do it because

0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:14.520
<v Speaker 1>it's supposed to help them perform better, perform better.

0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:16.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I keep that testosterone in the body.

0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:19.360
<v Speaker 1>That's masturbation as well. So the athletes that do it,

0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:22.320
<v Speaker 1>it's not just sex, it's ejaculations because I think they

0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:26.000
<v Speaker 1>think that all that pent up energy is used elsewhere.

0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:28.240
<v Speaker 2>But also I think we all know how distracting and

0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:30.320
<v Speaker 2>how all consuming it can be when you're in those

0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:33.240
<v Speaker 2>initial phases or stages of dating, or when you're trying

0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.440
<v Speaker 2>to be in a relationship, or when you're like, maybe

0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:37.120
<v Speaker 2>you're not in a relationship, maybe you really want to

0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:39.520
<v Speaker 2>be in one, and it can be all consuming the

0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.520
<v Speaker 2>whole dating cycle. And I think that a lot of

0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:43.880
<v Speaker 2>people go through phases of having dating fatigue, and I

0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:45.840
<v Speaker 2>know that Britta and I we've been talking about doing

0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:48.800
<v Speaker 2>an episode on dating fatigue coming up. But this conversation

0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:51.240
<v Speaker 2>around celibacy. We put it out to the community, and

0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:55.080
<v Speaker 2>so many of you had had your own experiences around celibacy,

0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.680
<v Speaker 2>but one of you wrote in now, Becky, she is

0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:01.000
<v Speaker 2>part of the life on Cut community as she is

0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:04.200
<v Speaker 2>a legend. We got her story she wrote into us,

0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:06.520
<v Speaker 2>and we were like, we don't even know how we're

0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:07.640
<v Speaker 2>gonna what we're gonna do with this.

0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:10.920
<v Speaker 1>Originally it's with it. I was like, what, you're every

0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:11.400
<v Speaker 1>part of this.

0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:13.280
<v Speaker 2>I was like, yes, yes, yes, Well she did it

0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.360
<v Speaker 2>as like a bit of a self discovery, a bit

0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.720
<v Speaker 2>of self healing coming out of a bad relationship and

0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:22.120
<v Speaker 2>then had a really unique experience with being celibate intentionally celibate.

0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:24.600
<v Speaker 2>So we originally were like, I don't even know what

0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.400
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna do with this interview or how we're going

0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:28.040
<v Speaker 2>to use it. And then we sat down with Becky

0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.320
<v Speaker 2>and we were like, oh, no, we're gonna this is

0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:32.280
<v Speaker 2>an episode. We're going to share this with you guys.

0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.040
<v Speaker 2>So we're so excited to get into that a little

0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.680
<v Speaker 2>bit later and talk to Becky talk about her experience

0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:39.120
<v Speaker 2>with celibacy and maybe if you're going through a really

0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:41.640
<v Speaker 2>hard period where you feel like you're on the dating

0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:44.559
<v Speaker 2>merry go round, where you feel like maybe sex hasn't

0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:47.120
<v Speaker 2>always been used as a healthy way in your relationships,

0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.400
<v Speaker 2>you might get something out of this as well. But

0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:50.880
<v Speaker 2>before we.

0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:54.960
<v Speaker 1>Get into that chat, which we absolutely frothed, we want

0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:57.680
<v Speaker 1>to talk about something else now. Laura, you put some

0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:01.640
<v Speaker 1>stories up on your own in Instagram about this whole

0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:03.760
<v Speaker 1>influencer band that we've seen in the last few days.

0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:06.080
<v Speaker 1>If you guys haven't seen what we're talking about, it's

0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:09.440
<v Speaker 1>everywhere at the moment, there is an influencer band. Like

0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.480
<v Speaker 1>a new law, new rule that's come out about promoting

0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:16.840
<v Speaker 1>skincare or medical skin care, vitamins, things like that on Instagram.

0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:18.600
<v Speaker 1>You're not allowed to do it anymore. In a nutshell,

0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:20.280
<v Speaker 1>you're allowed to do it. You're allowed to get paid

0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:22.320
<v Speaker 1>for it, You're not allowed to receive free gifts for it.

0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:25.560
<v Speaker 1>Laura decided to go on her Instagram and have a

0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:27.560
<v Speaker 1>little chat about it. Now, how did that turn out?

0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:29.600
<v Speaker 1>Because I know you've got a lot of people sliding

0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.800
<v Speaker 1>into DMS. I know the Daily Mail popped you back

0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:35.600
<v Speaker 1>on another story what happened? And because I think this

0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:37.439
<v Speaker 1>is really interesting chat, so I do want to talk

0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:38.120
<v Speaker 1>about it seriously.

0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:40.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay, there's many layers to this. The first layer is

0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.439
<v Speaker 2>that I've had a couple of ones on my Saturday night.

0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:44.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to go into the whole thing, but just

0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:46.440
<v Speaker 2>to kind of give you a bit more insight into

0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:49.600
<v Speaker 2>what these regulations are. So it's the TGA, who's Therapeutic

0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:54.360
<v Speaker 2>Goods Administration of Australia bringing in more restrictions around how

0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:58.920
<v Speaker 2>influencers can promote certain products, and like Britz said, it's

0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.720
<v Speaker 2>products in healthcare space, but also in this skincare space,

0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:06.000
<v Speaker 2>and it's skincare that makes medical claims. Now, I just

0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:09.200
<v Speaker 2>want to make it really clear because I'm not here

0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:14.040
<v Speaker 2>being like, won't someone think of the influences. I genuinely

0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:15.720
<v Speaker 2>think this is a great thing. I think it is

0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:19.360
<v Speaker 2>really important that there is more regulation around the things

0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:22.600
<v Speaker 2>that influencers are allowed to promote and how they promote it,

0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:26.760
<v Speaker 2>because at the moment it's a relatively unregulated space. The

0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:29.920
<v Speaker 2>only product in this entire category list that I was like,

0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't get it. I don't understand why you want

0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:35.640
<v Speaker 2>to minimize promotion in this space was sunscreen? So sunscreen

0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:39.000
<v Speaker 2>is considered a medical product because it is regulated by

0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:42.280
<v Speaker 2>the TGA, and that has been excluded. So moving forward,

0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:45.400
<v Speaker 2>influencers will no longer be able to say, hey, use

0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.079
<v Speaker 2>sunscreen or where this They can say use sunscreen, of

0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.240
<v Speaker 2>course they can, but they cannot be paid by brand.

0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.600
<v Speaker 2>So basically, influencers will no longer be able to receive

0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:56.920
<v Speaker 2>payment for all free gifts to promote sunscreen. And it

0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:00.400
<v Speaker 2>means like brands like Nutrogena or Laroche or I don't

0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:03.079
<v Speaker 2>know name is the other skincare brands Bontay sans who

0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:05.520
<v Speaker 2>creates sunscreen, they will no longer be able to pay

0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:10.000
<v Speaker 2>influencers to promote their specific products. However, influencers will still

0:10:10.040 --> 0:10:12.480
<v Speaker 2>be able to say, hey, guys wear sunscreen, which they

0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:14.080
<v Speaker 2>won't do because they're not getting paid for it.

0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:16.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, I completely agree. I think that there do need

0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:20.400
<v Speaker 1>to be more regulations around what people promote one hundred percent,

0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:24.040
<v Speaker 1>so I'm not worried about that. I do completely agree.

0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't understand why, when we live in a country

0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:29.240
<v Speaker 1>with the highest level of skin cancer in the world,

0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:34.400
<v Speaker 1>why you would ban people from advertising sunscreen. I think

0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.040
<v Speaker 1>that it's really important and I have advertised sunscreen in

0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:40.120
<v Speaker 1>the past because I'm very particular about what advertised. If

0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.160
<v Speaker 1>I ever advertise something, it's because I have to really

0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.160
<v Speaker 1>believe in it or use it.

0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:45.520
<v Speaker 2>Susman, I believe in sunscreen.

0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:47.800
<v Speaker 1>Well, sunscreen is like I do not leave the house

0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:49.760
<v Speaker 1>and this is like, no one's sponsoring these guys. I

0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:52.200
<v Speaker 1>don't leave the house without fifty plus on, and that

0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.679
<v Speaker 1>is because I used to leave the house without fifty

0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:56.400
<v Speaker 1>plus on. I used to go and serve ad I

0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.679
<v Speaker 1>was with no cream on. I used to bake myself

0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:02.640
<v Speaker 1>when I was younger because no one cool was using

0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:04.439
<v Speaker 1>sun cream. It wasn't cool back in the day when

0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.520
<v Speaker 1>we were younger. And that's because, like Laura was having

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.480
<v Speaker 1>a laugh this morning, She's like, remember the old slip

0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.520
<v Speaker 1>slop slap, great promo, but it's not cool.

0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:10.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.760
<v Speaker 2>Look, don't get me wrong. There's been amazing advertising that

0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:16.800
<v Speaker 2>has happened on and off social media for sunscreen, Like

0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:21.800
<v Speaker 2>incredible advertising. The slipslop slap campaign is great. Is it cool? Nah?

0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 2>Not really, Like I don't think there's any fourteen year

0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:25.400
<v Speaker 2>old or fifteen year old going out to their friends,

0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.360
<v Speaker 2>being like, hey, slipslop slab. I've actually said that to

0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:31.280
<v Speaker 2>my friends clock but we know I'm not cool, Okay, Okay.

0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.680
<v Speaker 2>The reason why I wanted to do obviously, I talked

0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:35.560
<v Speaker 2>about it on Instagram if you follow me, you know,

0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:37.080
<v Speaker 2>but I kind of wanted to have a bit more

0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.240
<v Speaker 2>of a fleshed out conversation around this because I think

0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:40.800
<v Speaker 2>that there are a lot of levels to it that

0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:42.080
<v Speaker 2>go just beyond the sunscreen.

0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:43.680
<v Speaker 1>So before you get into it, can I just say

0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:46.679
<v Speaker 1>I was out having some drinks with my sister and

0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:49.200
<v Speaker 1>friends on Saturday night. My sister came down and I

0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:51.800
<v Speaker 1>saw Laura's stories. Because I was out, I couldn't hear them,

0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:53.800
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, I can't wait tomorrow and see

0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:55.800
<v Speaker 1>what she's ranting about. I could just see like the

0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:57.959
<v Speaker 1>hand actions that I know your facials, and I was like,

0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.559
<v Speaker 1>would love to see what that's about tomorrow.

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:01.920
<v Speaker 2>It's so funny because I think that we have a

0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.080
<v Speaker 2>bit of a unique take on this, and I think

0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.640
<v Speaker 2>that we're in an awkward position because some people would

0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:09.320
<v Speaker 2>say that we are influencers because we have big social

0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 2>media followings.

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:10.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't find that.

0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:12.760
<v Speaker 2>All good, No, I think it is because I think,

0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, we in Australia people don't really like influencers,

0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:18.240
<v Speaker 2>and I understand why. It's because there's this huge distrust

0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:20.640
<v Speaker 2>and there are also a lot of influencers out there

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.640
<v Speaker 2>who will happily take money from a brand, will promote

0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:25.640
<v Speaker 2>it without ever using it, and I think that that's

0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:26.559
<v Speaker 2>really unconscionable.

0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:28.680
<v Speaker 1>You mean we're in an awkward place because I guess

0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:31.320
<v Speaker 1>we are in a way grouped into that total, though

0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 1>we don't necessarily see ourselves like that totally.

0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:37.079
<v Speaker 2>And I think that my defending any of this new

0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.160
<v Speaker 2>law doesn't come because I'm worried about not making money

0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.600
<v Speaker 2>off sunscreen. I did receive a couple of messages like that,

0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.000
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, okay, guys, I own other businesses,

0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:46.920
<v Speaker 2>but that's totally fine. I guess I wanted to just

0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.360
<v Speaker 2>flesh this out because it did blow up in my

0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.920
<v Speaker 2>stories for many different reasons, and I totally understand why,

0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 2>and I can see the fore and against with the

0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:57.600
<v Speaker 2>whole conversation, especially in terms of sunscreen, but like with

0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:01.199
<v Speaker 2>all the other categories, I just want to reiterate I

0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:05.679
<v Speaker 2>absolutely think that influencers need to be more highly regulated

0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:07.240
<v Speaker 2>and I think that there needs to be a higher

0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:09.560
<v Speaker 2>level of accountability in the same way that there is

0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:13.440
<v Speaker 2>for marketing and advertising online or also in magazines. There's

0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:16.000
<v Speaker 2>a standard for which people can advertise and you can't

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:19.680
<v Speaker 2>make radical false claims around products. The other thing about

0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.440
<v Speaker 2>sunscreen and why it's such a specific industry is because

0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.319
<v Speaker 2>I know that there are a lot of natural skincare

0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:26.760
<v Speaker 2>products that have come out now and influencers claiming that

0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.719
<v Speaker 2>they are sunscreen. I guess my thing is instead of

0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 2>blanket banning such an important product, instead of blanket banning

0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:36.400
<v Speaker 2>a product that we know people need to use for

0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:38.640
<v Speaker 2>their own health and for their own safety, and we

0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:41.920
<v Speaker 2>know that the positive affirmation and influence of people talking

0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:44.880
<v Speaker 2>about it has actually helped to reduce skin cancer in

0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:47.040
<v Speaker 2>Australia and also the amount of people who are not

0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:50.480
<v Speaker 2>wearing sunscreen. My thoughts are, why wouldn't you just limit

0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.840
<v Speaker 2>people or put the regulations and the restrictions on people

0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:57.720
<v Speaker 2>talking about non TGA approved sunscreen. So instead of saying

0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:00.920
<v Speaker 2>all sunscreen's blanketed, go okay, well, yes, things that have

0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:03.120
<v Speaker 2>gone through the TGA process, they can still be talked

0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:05.920
<v Speaker 2>about and endorsed. However, anything that comes up as like

0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 2>a natural health remedy, Rub this bloody dirt on your

0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:10.959
<v Speaker 2>arm and you'll be safe from the sun. Like, then

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.199
<v Speaker 2>that can be what is actually banned in this process.

0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:15.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't think a blanket ban makes any sense.

0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:17.760
<v Speaker 1>And then it's confusing because it's like and look, we

0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 1>drink alcohol. We like alcohol. But it's just interesting when

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.440
<v Speaker 1>you would go and ban something like sunscreen, which we

0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 1>know in Australia is so important, but you wouldn't go

0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 1>and put bands on things that are actually altering to

0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.880
<v Speaker 1>your body and then approven effects to be harmful to

0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:35.680
<v Speaker 1>your body, like alcohol. And again, like when we drink,

0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:38.080
<v Speaker 1>we're not used correctly. I do think it's interesting that

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.520
<v Speaker 1>there is a different set of standards for like how

0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.120
<v Speaker 1>they're calling out the healthcare world or the world of

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:46.200
<v Speaker 1>like trying to promote healthy living. But it's okay, like

0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:49.400
<v Speaker 1>we said alcohol, but also things like fast fashion, fast food,

0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.280
<v Speaker 1>there's no regulations around this. And so it seems like

0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.240
<v Speaker 1>things like alcohol and fast food, things that are infinitely

0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 1>more unhealthy and can lead to a much more unhealthy lifestyle,

0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.520
<v Speaker 1>don't have the same or any regulations around them. And

0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:04.720
<v Speaker 1>I guess there is like, this does have a flow

0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.760
<v Speaker 1>on effect. If you think of small startup brands or

0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:09.760
<v Speaker 1>people really trying to get out there, this takes a

0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:13.760
<v Speaker 1>huge level of advertising away from them because whether people

0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.120
<v Speaker 1>like it or not, we live in a world now

0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:18.680
<v Speaker 1>where social media is the way of the future. It

0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:20.840
<v Speaker 1>is the way of advertising. People don't really pay for

0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:25.480
<v Speaker 1>TV commercials anymore. People are funneling their advertising money into

0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:29.080
<v Speaker 1>Instagram because that is where we consume everything. It's where

0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.880
<v Speaker 1>we consume our news, it's where we consume our entertainment,

0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:34.640
<v Speaker 1>it's where we consume ads. Instagram is the way of

0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:36.880
<v Speaker 1>the future. So this does have a flow on effect

0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:39.000
<v Speaker 1>for a lot of little businesses. So it is I

0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:41.280
<v Speaker 1>don't know. I'm here for it for sure. I think

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.520
<v Speaker 1>we do need more regulations, but the things like the

0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:45.040
<v Speaker 1>sun cream can't get my head around.

0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:45.400
<v Speaker 3>Well.

0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.880
<v Speaker 2>I think this whole conversation comes back to, like, generally speaking,

0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:52.160
<v Speaker 2>people do not like influencers as a whole as a business.

0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.520
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's not a respected industry. It's also there's

0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.080
<v Speaker 2>so much mistrust when it comes to influencers, and that's

0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.400
<v Speaker 2>because so many of them have shot themsels in the

0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.880
<v Speaker 2>foot by working with brands that just go out and

0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:04.680
<v Speaker 2>we've all seen it. I'm not going to name brands

0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:06.960
<v Speaker 2>because I don't want to go to Introta Robbil, but like,

0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:09.760
<v Speaker 2>there are plenty of brands who are like new startups.

0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:12.000
<v Speaker 2>It might be a skin cream, it might be a

0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:14.920
<v Speaker 2>hair product, whatever it is, and they basically just go

0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.160
<v Speaker 2>out and go bang bang bang ban bang, use every

0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.320
<v Speaker 2>single influencer in the market. You guarantee that these influencers

0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.920
<v Speaker 2>have never tried the product before jumping on the bandwagon,

0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:25.640
<v Speaker 2>and that's why there's such a huge amount of mistrust.

0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:28.760
<v Speaker 2>You know, one cream that's saying it can cure acne,

0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.360
<v Speaker 2>it can cure cellulite, it can make your skin suffle.

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.920
<v Speaker 2>It's like there's too many things that it's claiming to

0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:38.520
<v Speaker 2>be possible, and a whole variety of influencers are claiming

0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:40.320
<v Speaker 2>can be possible, and then people go out and spend

0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:42.880
<v Speaker 2>their money because they've been influenced and the product is subpar.

0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:46.560
<v Speaker 2>So I get why people feel misled, but I also

0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.600
<v Speaker 2>think in that there's also a responsibility that comes from

0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:51.520
<v Speaker 2>the brand. As a brand, we need to be more

0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:54.440
<v Speaker 2>conscionable in like you're going to use an influencer as

0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:57.600
<v Speaker 2>a brand really upskilling them, explaining to them what the

0:16:57.640 --> 0:16:59.840
<v Speaker 2>benefits of the product is, making sure that you have

0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 2>mandatories where that influencer actually uses the product for a

0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:05.800
<v Speaker 2>certain period of time, so that the advertising that you're

0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:08.439
<v Speaker 2>getting as a brand is also authentic. I think that

0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:10.400
<v Speaker 2>there are many levels here of responsibility.

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:12.520
<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent agree, And that is like a perfect

0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:15.000
<v Speaker 1>little segue into something else I wanted to talk about

0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:18.720
<v Speaker 1>that is sort of in this transparency world of influencers.

0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:22.600
<v Speaker 1>The UK has just brought in a law almost around

0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:24.920
<v Speaker 1>the same time as the law we're talking about now

0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:30.879
<v Speaker 1>that bans influences from using quote misleading filters in paid

0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:34.440
<v Speaker 1>beauty ads. So in the beauty world, skin world, everything,

0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.680
<v Speaker 1>influencers now are not allowed to use filters that will

0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:41.000
<v Speaker 1>actually mislead you into thinking the result is better. And

0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I think that this is absolutely one hundred percent something

0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.960
<v Speaker 1>that should be brought in worldwide, because it's pretty easy

0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 1>to put a photo up that's like, look how bad

0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:51.080
<v Speaker 1>my skin was, and then throw a Paris filter on

0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.280
<v Speaker 1>it be like, look how good it is now. I

0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:56.119
<v Speaker 1>think that this is a really really good law to

0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:59.239
<v Speaker 1>be brought in, and if influencers are found to be

0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:02.439
<v Speaker 1>using these filters that are completely changing their face and

0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:06.960
<v Speaker 1>their look. The influencer and the brand has repercussions. They

0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:10.640
<v Speaker 1>both can be reprimanded, they can be taken off Instagram

0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:12.760
<v Speaker 1>or other social media's and they can be fined. So

0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:14.320
<v Speaker 1>I think that this is really interesting.

0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:16.520
<v Speaker 2>So when you say they can be taken off social media,

0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.040
<v Speaker 2>does does that mean that actually Instagram is endorsing of

0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.000
<v Speaker 2>this as well or is it a government endorsement.

0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 1>So this decision was made by the Advertising Standard Authority,

0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:28.000
<v Speaker 1>which is the ASA. It applies to all brands, influencers

0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:32.200
<v Speaker 1>and celebrities based in the UK. So the UK's Advertising

0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:37.199
<v Speaker 1>regulatory recently announced a watershed ruling against Instagram influencers that

0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:41.360
<v Speaker 1>use image altering filters while being paid to promote beauty products.

0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:46.160
<v Speaker 1>So Britain's Advertising Standard Authority determined that social media adverts

0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:49.200
<v Speaker 1>containing filters that could exaggerate the results of the product

0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:52.280
<v Speaker 1>being marketed to the audience were misleading and that brands

0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:55.359
<v Speaker 1>and influencers found in breach of this ruling moving forward

0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:59.440
<v Speaker 1>would be removed and see both parties reprimanded. So I'm

0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:01.840
<v Speaker 1>going to a sh there is a fine or a

0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:04.480
<v Speaker 1>longer term ben but they can both be removed. So

0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:05.920
<v Speaker 1>I think this is a really huge move.

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.159
<v Speaker 2>It kills me when I see influencers who I've met

0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:10.359
<v Speaker 2>in real life and then I see I know, you

0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.440
<v Speaker 2>don't look like it or like it's almost shocking sometimes

0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:15.320
<v Speaker 2>like you see them in real life and you're like, wow,

0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.040
<v Speaker 2>you do not look like you look online. And so

0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:21.200
<v Speaker 2>to be spooking products where you're claiming that it can

0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:24.560
<v Speaker 2>do something that you don't even have yourself is really

0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:26.840
<v Speaker 2>really unconscionable, and I'm so all for that. Like we

0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:28.920
<v Speaker 2>said at the very beginning, I think that this is

0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:31.800
<v Speaker 2>a place that needs to be more heavily regulated. For example,

0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.440
<v Speaker 2>we all came out of this wave of skinny me tea,

0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:37.240
<v Speaker 2>Like how fucked was that? Drink skinny tea and you'll

0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:38.840
<v Speaker 2>have diarrhea and then be skinny.

0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:41.119
<v Speaker 1>Of course, it's drink water and not eat food and

0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:43.880
<v Speaker 1>you'll be skinny of dose. So I also understand why

0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:46.840
<v Speaker 1>there's so many medical professionals who when they hear these

0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:49.400
<v Speaker 1>new regulations and rules come out, they're like yes, because

0:19:49.440 --> 0:19:51.720
<v Speaker 1>the only people who are supposed to be giving health

0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:54.639
<v Speaker 1>advice are people who are actually skilled in it. I

0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:56.720
<v Speaker 1>feel like these laws come out in the UK and

0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:58.679
<v Speaker 1>America first and they make their way to Australia. So

0:19:58.680 --> 0:20:00.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't think this is too far off for this

0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:03.359
<v Speaker 1>banning of filters for especially after this law with banning

0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:07.520
<v Speaker 1>sunscreen and medical skincare. I think really soon Australia is

0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:10.240
<v Speaker 1>going to see the ban of filters for any beauty products.

0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:11.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm very welcoming of that.

0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:12.280
<v Speaker 3>Well.

0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.119
<v Speaker 2>I also think it makes sense, but I think it

0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:17.000
<v Speaker 2>makes sense across like all media platforms. How crap is

0:20:17.040 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 2>it that you can open up a magazine and you

0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:22.080
<v Speaker 2>can see somebody promoting a skincare product, but that person

0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:25.399
<v Speaker 2>in the picture has been photoshopped. It works in all

0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:28.359
<v Speaker 2>types of media. I think we can be particularly critical

0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:31.360
<v Speaker 2>of social media and of influencers, but I also think

0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.160
<v Speaker 2>that this plays out across a huge variety of different

0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:37.879
<v Speaker 2>advertising platforms. It's not just something that's solely problematic on

0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:38.520
<v Speaker 2>social media.

0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:42.800
<v Speaker 1>Another interesting aspect to this is around media literacy and

0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:47.359
<v Speaker 1>where where does the blame lie and the responsibility completely lie.

0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:50.480
<v Speaker 1>And now I understand we can say advertiser shouldn't be

0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:52.000
<v Speaker 1>able to do this. I understand we can say that

0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:55.200
<v Speaker 1>influencers should know better. There has to be a level

0:20:55.320 --> 0:20:58.679
<v Speaker 1>of responsibility on the consumer to a point where you

0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:01.520
<v Speaker 1>can make an educated decision yourself and say, I actually

0:21:01.560 --> 0:21:03.679
<v Speaker 1>don't believe that that doesn't look right. We do have

0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:05.840
<v Speaker 1>to be able to self educate to a point, and

0:21:05.840 --> 0:21:09.200
<v Speaker 1>it's just an interesting discussion on how much responsibility does

0:21:09.320 --> 0:21:12.440
<v Speaker 1>lie on us to sort of educate ourselves around a product.

0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:15.120
<v Speaker 2>I agree that in some way and to some level

0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:17.239
<v Speaker 2>where like, oh, we need to be responsible for what

0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:19.200
<v Speaker 2>we consume, whether it be on social media, on TV,

0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:21.399
<v Speaker 2>or wherever. But the other part of this is that

0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:23.360
<v Speaker 2>there's children who are consuming this. There are so many

0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:25.320
<v Speaker 2>kids that are on social media, and they're the ones

0:21:25.320 --> 0:21:28.320
<v Speaker 2>that are easily misled. And like, I don't expect a

0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:29.879
<v Speaker 2>twelve year old or a thirteen year old or a

0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:32.919
<v Speaker 2>fourteen year old to have media literacy. I don't expect

0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:35.200
<v Speaker 2>them to understand that what that influence is saying, they've

0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:37.800
<v Speaker 2>actually been paid for them to be saying what they're saying.

0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:40.000
<v Speaker 2>So that's why I think like ads need to have

0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:42.800
<v Speaker 2>a higher level of transparency. I'm glad that they brought

0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:45.800
<v Speaker 2>in the whole rules around like paid partnership, hashtag, add

0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:48.160
<v Speaker 2>all that sort of stuff. I hope that they bring

0:21:48.200 --> 0:21:51.680
<v Speaker 2>in rules and legislation around using filters to mislead your audience.

0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:54.919
<v Speaker 2>But I also think like we could also work towards

0:21:55.000 --> 0:21:58.560
<v Speaker 2>having some sort of influencer governing body that actually works

0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:02.159
<v Speaker 2>towards upskilling influences, teaching them how to make better ads,

0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:04.960
<v Speaker 2>teaching them how to be more responsible in the advice

0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:09.600
<v Speaker 2>that they're giving. So it's not just these you know, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen,

0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:12.120
<v Speaker 2>young twenty year old girls who are out there trying

0:22:12.119 --> 0:22:14.959
<v Speaker 2>to make a business but also don't really understand the

0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:16.800
<v Speaker 2>ethics behind the business that they're running.

0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:19.040
<v Speaker 1>Because I know at university, and you'll remember as well,

0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:21.760
<v Speaker 1>at university, you are taught these things. You are taught

0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:26.280
<v Speaker 1>how to receive information and interpret information and what you

0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:28.720
<v Speaker 1>do with that information. So we are taught these things.

0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:31.000
<v Speaker 1>Maybe it needs to be something that we're taught because

0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:33.560
<v Speaker 1>the world is changing from when we were young to

0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:36.520
<v Speaker 1>now social media is everywhere. Maybe it's something we need

0:22:36.560 --> 0:22:39.080
<v Speaker 1>to look at teaching in high school now about how

0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:41.919
<v Speaker 1>to consume information, how to ask questions, and how to

0:22:41.960 --> 0:22:44.560
<v Speaker 1>do your own research. Maybe that is something, unfortunately we

0:22:44.680 --> 0:22:47.240
<v Speaker 1>have to bring in to the younger generation because, like

0:22:47.280 --> 0:22:51.960
<v Speaker 1>you said, you cannot expect a young child eight to

0:22:52.040 --> 0:22:55.119
<v Speaker 1>fifteen to self moderate to self moderate. No, Sure, they

0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:57.080
<v Speaker 1>have the ability one hundred percent. They're doing it every

0:22:57.119 --> 0:22:59.520
<v Speaker 1>day without knowing. They receive information every single day and

0:22:59.560 --> 0:23:01.520
<v Speaker 1>they decide what to do with that. We're just start

0:23:01.560 --> 0:23:03.640
<v Speaker 1>pushing for them to be able to do that online.

0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:06.320
<v Speaker 1>And maybe that is a whole new conversation that the

0:23:06.320 --> 0:23:07.120
<v Speaker 1>world needs to have.

0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:09.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I totally agree. And then there's a whole other

0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:11.040
<v Speaker 2>one that comes into it, like does that happen at

0:23:11.040 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 2>home or does it happen in school? Or like how

0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:15.760
<v Speaker 2>long we can talk about it? And I know that

0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:17.639
<v Speaker 2>there's probably school teachers who are listening to this who

0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:19.240
<v Speaker 2>are like, please, don't give us any more things to

0:23:19.280 --> 0:23:21.480
<v Speaker 2>try and teach your children in school. Like the world

0:23:21.520 --> 0:23:24.639
<v Speaker 2>is rapidly changing, and I'm glad that the legislation is

0:23:24.680 --> 0:23:28.040
<v Speaker 2>catching up with social media. However, I do think that

0:23:28.080 --> 0:23:31.080
<v Speaker 2>we have this very warped set of standards between what's

0:23:31.119 --> 0:23:34.600
<v Speaker 2>okay in like print magazine versus what's okay on a

0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:36.160
<v Speaker 2>social media platform.

0:23:36.359 --> 0:23:39.520
<v Speaker 1>It also opens up one more can of worms, and

0:23:39.600 --> 0:23:42.160
<v Speaker 1>that is and then's something that we've said many a time,

0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:45.639
<v Speaker 1>that is the whole idea that this online world that

0:23:45.720 --> 0:23:48.960
<v Speaker 1>so many people strive for can be taken away in

0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:53.840
<v Speaker 1>a heartbeat. If your whole income, your job is purely

0:23:53.960 --> 0:23:57.280
<v Speaker 1>on social media, this is a pretty volatile world that

0:23:57.400 --> 0:24:00.840
<v Speaker 1>can change overnight, and we have just that. So for

0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:06.639
<v Speaker 1>anyone that just had huge ambassadorships in skin care, medical skincare, proteins.

0:24:06.080 --> 0:24:08.280
<v Speaker 2>Protein, all these supplements, yeah, we.

0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:10.600
<v Speaker 1>Haven't even mentioned that, the proteins and the fitness people

0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:12.600
<v Speaker 1>and like, I love a protein powder. But people that

0:24:12.640 --> 0:24:14.639
<v Speaker 1>are purely based on that, they have just lost a

0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:16.760
<v Speaker 1>huge amount of their income, and I imagine that would

0:24:16.800 --> 0:24:18.960
<v Speaker 1>be worrying. This is volatile, these could be taken away

0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:20.680
<v Speaker 1>at any point, So it's just food for thought.

0:24:20.760 --> 0:24:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Like young influencers truly are a business. They're their own business,

0:24:24.400 --> 0:24:26.879
<v Speaker 2>but no one's teaching them the right way or the

0:24:26.920 --> 0:24:29.480
<v Speaker 2>consionable way to go about doing that business. And so

0:24:29.840 --> 0:24:32.359
<v Speaker 2>when I said before that you've got sixteen, seventeen, twenty

0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:35.080
<v Speaker 2>year olds running these businesses. You know they've got big

0:24:35.119 --> 0:24:37.160
<v Speaker 2>brands coming to them saying, hey, I'll pay you three

0:24:37.160 --> 0:24:40.480
<v Speaker 2>thousand dollars to post a photo. They're not and they

0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:43.840
<v Speaker 2>haven't been given the skill set to understand necessarily or

0:24:43.880 --> 0:24:46.199
<v Speaker 2>to work through why it's so important and what can

0:24:46.240 --> 0:24:49.399
<v Speaker 2>be the ramifications of not being transparent and authentic. I

0:24:49.440 --> 0:24:52.000
<v Speaker 2>do think that with like big profiles, there's a huge

0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:54.560
<v Speaker 2>responsibility that comes with it. But I think that it's

0:24:54.560 --> 0:24:57.359
<v Speaker 2>an ever evolving space and it's a really interesting space.

0:24:57.400 --> 0:24:59.720
<v Speaker 2>But I still think that influencers should be able to

0:24:59.720 --> 0:25:02.080
<v Speaker 2>promote sunscreen because I want everyone wearing it.

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:04.400
<v Speaker 1>I think anyone should be able to promote sunscreen. Anyway,

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:06.720
<v Speaker 1>let's move on saying a little bit more fun and

0:25:06.760 --> 0:25:10.400
<v Speaker 1>that is accidentally unfiltered slash confessional.

0:25:12.600 --> 0:25:15.920
<v Speaker 2>I have a confessional today, and I love this one

0:25:15.960 --> 0:25:18.840
<v Speaker 2>because this is an urban legend come real life.

0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:23.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, someone in this room, Laura Delilah or Keisha has

0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:23.520
<v Speaker 1>just farted.

0:25:23.720 --> 0:25:29.640
<v Speaker 2>What fuck, it's not me, Keisha. Keisha's literally sitting on

0:25:29.720 --> 0:25:31.760
<v Speaker 2>the dog bed. Though in the house, we're sitting in

0:25:31.960 --> 0:25:33.600
<v Speaker 2>what is like the spare room that's been set up

0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:35.760
<v Speaker 2>as a studio room. We're really moving up in the world, guys.

0:25:35.760 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 2>But instead of Keisha's sitting on the couch, she's sitting

0:25:37.920 --> 0:25:40.320
<v Speaker 2>in the dog bed. I've just realized, yeah, on the

0:25:40.359 --> 0:25:42.280
<v Speaker 2>dog mat, and the dog is not on the dog Matt.

0:25:42.280 --> 0:25:44.600
<v Speaker 1>Anyways, move on. You've got a confessional? Is it that

0:25:44.640 --> 0:25:45.200
<v Speaker 1>you just fighted?

0:25:45.400 --> 0:25:50.000
<v Speaker 2>No confessional? This is like, this is the stuff of

0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:52.120
<v Speaker 2>urban legends, but this one really happened.

0:25:52.520 --> 0:25:54.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'll be the judge of that.

0:25:55.080 --> 0:25:57.680
<v Speaker 2>I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, not

0:25:57.840 --> 0:26:00.600
<v Speaker 2>just once, but not an urban legend, had a full

0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:03.320
<v Speaker 2>on other relationship with this chick. We were living in

0:26:03.320 --> 0:26:05.600
<v Speaker 2>a sharehouse with his best mates at the time, so

0:26:05.680 --> 0:26:08.520
<v Speaker 2>I felt incredibly betrayed, as there is no way that

0:26:08.600 --> 0:26:10.560
<v Speaker 2>they all didn't know what he was doing and what

0:26:10.720 --> 0:26:13.040
<v Speaker 2>was going on behind my back. I ended up moving

0:26:13.040 --> 0:26:15.400
<v Speaker 2>out almost immediately, but all my stuff was still at

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:17.600
<v Speaker 2>his house. So this one day I arranged to go

0:26:17.640 --> 0:26:19.720
<v Speaker 2>to the house to get my staff. I organized a

0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:21.199
<v Speaker 2>time when I knew all the boys would be out

0:26:21.200 --> 0:26:22.720
<v Speaker 2>of the house because I still had my spare set

0:26:22.760 --> 0:26:24.840
<v Speaker 2>of keys. I said I didn't want to face them

0:26:24.880 --> 0:26:26.679
<v Speaker 2>and I didn't want to see him. I brought my

0:26:26.760 --> 0:26:29.439
<v Speaker 2>best friend, however, and a five hundred grand bag of

0:26:29.520 --> 0:26:32.720
<v Speaker 2>uncooked prawns and two knitting needles. I then proceeded to

0:26:32.800 --> 0:26:37.600
<v Speaker 2>stuff uncooked prawns into the curtain rods in all the bedrooms.

0:26:37.119 --> 0:26:38.080
<v Speaker 1>And the lounge room.

0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:40.560
<v Speaker 2>I used the knitting needles to shove it as far

0:26:40.640 --> 0:26:43.560
<v Speaker 2>down as I possibly could. Turns out that the boys

0:26:43.640 --> 0:26:45.720
<v Speaker 2>ended up moving out of the house three months later

0:26:45.760 --> 0:26:47.840
<v Speaker 2>because they thought that a possum had died in the

0:26:47.880 --> 0:26:50.240
<v Speaker 2>walls and the whole place stuck like shit.

0:26:51.119 --> 0:26:54.280
<v Speaker 1>That is a brilliant what a mastermind?

0:26:54.400 --> 0:26:56.639
<v Speaker 2>That is like that's messed up. And that's what I

0:26:56.680 --> 0:26:58.639
<v Speaker 2>mean by this is an urban legend because I have

0:26:58.800 --> 0:27:01.919
<v Speaker 2>heard something similar to this in like the Winds. But

0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:04.800
<v Speaker 2>to actually go and physically do it, you are an

0:27:04.840 --> 0:27:05.280
<v Speaker 2>evil gean.

0:27:05.320 --> 0:27:06.879
<v Speaker 1>I think it's brilliant and they deserved it. But I

0:27:06.880 --> 0:27:09.560
<v Speaker 1>would never think. I mean A, I would never think

0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:12.000
<v Speaker 1>to do that myself. B If there was a smell

0:27:12.040 --> 0:27:14.040
<v Speaker 1>in my house, I would never think to look in

0:27:14.080 --> 0:27:16.560
<v Speaker 1>the curtain rods. I was it must be a prawn

0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:17.560
<v Speaker 1>in the curtain road.

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:19.520
<v Speaker 2>You never would, and you would clean everything out of

0:27:19.520 --> 0:27:21.000
<v Speaker 2>the house and you would still be like, where is

0:27:21.000 --> 0:27:22.359
<v Speaker 2>it coming from? And the fact that you did it

0:27:22.400 --> 0:27:24.640
<v Speaker 2>in multiple rooms. I've got a few feelings about this

0:27:24.680 --> 0:27:27.040
<v Speaker 2>because let's just also reflect on the fact that this

0:27:27.160 --> 0:27:28.920
<v Speaker 2>was a rental property, and so the people who own

0:27:28.960 --> 0:27:32.640
<v Speaker 2>this property are like one of my house stink about What.

0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:34.280
<v Speaker 1>About the people that just moved in, Well, make it.

0:27:34.359 --> 0:27:36.320
<v Speaker 2>We would have to burn it down, start again, rip

0:27:36.359 --> 0:27:38.320
<v Speaker 2>the covers out, like that stuff is going to get

0:27:38.320 --> 0:27:39.359
<v Speaker 2>into the walls people.

0:27:39.440 --> 0:27:41.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's true. That's funny for hot second, but not

0:27:41.760 --> 0:27:43.199
<v Speaker 1>for moving on in the future. If I owned a

0:27:43.200 --> 0:27:45.040
<v Speaker 1>house and someone in that house did that to me,

0:27:45.240 --> 0:27:47.000
<v Speaker 1>I would be robal because at the end of the day,

0:27:47.040 --> 0:27:49.359
<v Speaker 1>that's your business. Now there's a stinky prowl hid somewhere, you.

0:27:49.320 --> 0:27:51.280
<v Speaker 2>Would also assume it was a possum in the wall

0:27:51.280 --> 0:27:52.600
<v Speaker 2>and pay someone a lot of money to come out

0:27:52.640 --> 0:27:54.600
<v Speaker 2>and find it. They need like a metal detector, but

0:27:54.640 --> 0:27:56.359
<v Speaker 2>like a smell detector for real bad things.

0:27:56.520 --> 0:27:57.000
<v Speaker 1>Is that anything?

0:27:57.600 --> 0:27:59.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, But surely this happens. Surely this legitimate

0:28:00.240 --> 0:28:02.320
<v Speaker 2>happens where something dies in a roof or dies in

0:28:02.359 --> 0:28:03.719
<v Speaker 2>a wall and then you can never find it.

0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:06.320
<v Speaker 1>For sure. But there would be a big difference between

0:28:06.359 --> 0:28:09.639
<v Speaker 1>like a possum behind a cement wall and prawns in

0:28:09.800 --> 0:28:13.359
<v Speaker 1>your above your bed too, because my bed's under a

0:28:13.359 --> 0:28:13.880
<v Speaker 1>curtain rod.

0:28:13.920 --> 0:28:17.840
<v Speaker 2>Could you okay, well you were absolved of your sins.

0:28:18.440 --> 0:28:18.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:28:18.880 --> 0:28:21.639
<v Speaker 1>Actually I'm not you can absolve. I'm not absolving. That's cooked,

0:28:22.560 --> 0:28:22.960
<v Speaker 1>that's raw.

0:28:23.760 --> 0:28:24.080
<v Speaker 3>Get it.

0:28:24.200 --> 0:28:27.760
<v Speaker 2>That was so fucking bad. It was so bad, it

0:28:27.800 --> 0:28:29.439
<v Speaker 2>was great. O can't give me a confessional. Wait if

0:28:29.440 --> 0:28:30.560
<v Speaker 2>you've got a confessional or an accent?

0:28:30.800 --> 0:28:32.919
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean it came as an accident, unfiltered, but

0:28:33.119 --> 0:28:35.440
<v Speaker 1>it's a confessional, all right, hear me. I feel like

0:28:35.480 --> 0:28:38.800
<v Speaker 1>this is something you would do, probably petty, because I'm

0:28:38.840 --> 0:28:42.040
<v Speaker 1>petty af That's why. No, this is not about being petty.

0:28:42.360 --> 0:28:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Super duper are super dupid dupid duper anonymous message?

0:28:45.560 --> 0:28:45.840
<v Speaker 3>Please?

0:28:48.400 --> 0:28:51.840
<v Speaker 1>That's literally the opening line. But I feel like you'll laugh.

0:28:52.280 --> 0:28:54.400
<v Speaker 1>You were the only people I think I will ever

0:28:54.480 --> 0:28:58.040
<v Speaker 1>tell and all of Australia because it's so mortifying. A

0:28:58.080 --> 0:29:00.560
<v Speaker 1>few months ago, my toddler was having a nap of

0:29:00.600 --> 0:29:03.440
<v Speaker 1>their life in the car. They're one of those kids

0:29:03.480 --> 0:29:05.880
<v Speaker 1>that when they're asleep you need to leave or that

0:29:06.040 --> 0:29:08.920
<v Speaker 1>all important ninety minute nap will be a ten minute

0:29:09.000 --> 0:29:10.960
<v Speaker 1>nap and that will be it for the rest of

0:29:11.040 --> 0:29:12.840
<v Speaker 1>the day. Now I feel like you can relate.

0:29:13.000 --> 0:29:14.120
<v Speaker 2>I can't transfer them.

0:29:14.440 --> 0:29:15.200
<v Speaker 1>You can't transfer.

0:29:15.240 --> 0:29:16.120
<v Speaker 2>It's a real problem.

0:29:16.400 --> 0:29:18.480
<v Speaker 1>So I sat in the car being good mum and

0:29:18.560 --> 0:29:21.840
<v Speaker 1>letting my darling child sleep. I'd been running around all

0:29:21.960 --> 0:29:24.120
<v Speaker 1>day and hadn't had a moment to even think about

0:29:24.200 --> 0:29:27.960
<v Speaker 1>going to the bathroom. Suddenly I had a terrible feeling.

0:29:28.480 --> 0:29:31.240
<v Speaker 1>I really needed to pooh, oh no, but I didn't

0:29:31.240 --> 0:29:32.160
<v Speaker 1>want to wake my child.

0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:32.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh no.

0:29:32.840 --> 0:29:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I waited and I waited and I waited, and of

0:29:35.400 --> 0:29:38.600
<v Speaker 1>course she kept sleeping and sleeping, and after thirty minutes

0:29:38.640 --> 0:29:42.000
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't wait any longer. I waited up. Do I

0:29:42.040 --> 0:29:44.440
<v Speaker 1>wake my child up and they be the devil for

0:29:44.480 --> 0:29:46.840
<v Speaker 1>the rest of the day, or do I find somewhere

0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:50.480
<v Speaker 1>to poop you wake them up now? I? Or she

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:53.560
<v Speaker 1>did not? She did not wake them now. I lived

0:29:53.560 --> 0:29:56.360
<v Speaker 1>in an apartment, so we were in an underground car park.

0:29:56.440 --> 0:29:58.600
<v Speaker 1>It was dark and no one was around, and I

0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:01.120
<v Speaker 1>remembered I'd left a plastic b in the nappy bag.

0:30:01.280 --> 0:30:04.000
<v Speaker 1>So I got up, pulled my bag out, sat next

0:30:04.000 --> 0:30:06.040
<v Speaker 1>to the car, pulled my jeans down, and did hope

0:30:06.040 --> 0:30:09.600
<v Speaker 1>in a plastic bag wow, rather than wake now, she

0:30:09.720 --> 0:30:12.080
<v Speaker 1>must have a devil child. If you are going to

0:30:12.160 --> 0:30:15.720
<v Speaker 1>poop in your garage at risk of any someone walking

0:30:15.720 --> 0:30:17.480
<v Speaker 1>in see you, rather than get your child out of

0:30:17.520 --> 0:30:19.040
<v Speaker 1>the car, you have a devil child.

0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:20.720
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a real low point when you're taking

0:30:20.760 --> 0:30:22.680
<v Speaker 2>a poop bag to a beIN it's your own like,

0:30:22.720 --> 0:30:23.320
<v Speaker 2>that's real.

0:30:24.520 --> 0:30:27.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean I've done that in the past. I did

0:30:27.400 --> 0:30:28.960
<v Speaker 1>that when I was like twenty one and I had

0:30:29.000 --> 0:30:30.240
<v Speaker 1>to live a parasite in Europe.

0:30:30.320 --> 0:30:33.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh dick God. Anyway, guys, on that note, thank you

0:30:33.920 --> 0:30:36.760
<v Speaker 2>to everyone who's written in acil unfilters and confessionals. I

0:30:36.800 --> 0:30:39.040
<v Speaker 2>think we need some more confessionals. I think we need

0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:41.440
<v Speaker 2>some more like I, what have you done that you

0:30:41.840 --> 0:30:43.640
<v Speaker 2>just wanted to go to the grave with? But instead

0:30:43.640 --> 0:30:44.640
<v Speaker 2>you tell Britain myself?

0:30:44.680 --> 0:30:46.480
<v Speaker 1>Maybe, Laura, maybe you and I need to come up

0:30:46.520 --> 0:30:48.000
<v Speaker 1>with a confessional. Maybe we need to put a couple

0:30:48.000 --> 0:30:49.600
<v Speaker 1>in and people can get Shosi sho's.

0:30:49.720 --> 0:30:51.400
<v Speaker 2>I have some pretty cook things that I've done. Maybe

0:30:51.400 --> 0:30:52.160
<v Speaker 2>I'll just lie to you.

0:30:52.480 --> 0:30:55.800
<v Speaker 1>Actually, I'd rather rely on yours and minnarrow.

0:30:57.320 --> 0:30:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Alright, guys, let's get into the chat with Becky around

0:31:00.120 --> 0:31:07.560
<v Speaker 2>intentional celibacy. You might remember a couple of weeks ago

0:31:07.720 --> 0:31:10.840
<v Speaker 2>when we spoke about celibacy, Lo, what effect does it

0:31:10.880 --> 0:31:13.200
<v Speaker 2>have on your relationships? What effect does it have on

0:31:13.280 --> 0:31:15.640
<v Speaker 2>you as a person? And we did a little call out.

0:31:15.640 --> 0:31:18.560
<v Speaker 2>We asked if there was anyone from the community who

0:31:18.600 --> 0:31:21.400
<v Speaker 2>had actually spent some time where they had consciously gone

0:31:21.880 --> 0:31:25.880
<v Speaker 2>and abstained from sex. And we received so many people

0:31:25.920 --> 0:31:28.920
<v Speaker 2>who messaged us and said they're unique and different stories

0:31:29.000 --> 0:31:32.240
<v Speaker 2>around why they chose celibacy. And when do we say this,

0:31:32.320 --> 0:31:34.360
<v Speaker 2>I mean not in like a religious sense, not because

0:31:34.400 --> 0:31:37.560
<v Speaker 2>it was something that from their own ethics or belief

0:31:37.560 --> 0:31:40.320
<v Speaker 2>systems that they felt that they needed to abide by.

0:31:40.400 --> 0:31:42.600
<v Speaker 2>But it was just a conscious decision, you know, being

0:31:42.640 --> 0:31:44.880
<v Speaker 2>your twenties or in your thirties and going cool, I'm

0:31:44.880 --> 0:31:48.120
<v Speaker 2>gonna just have some time away from having sex. And

0:31:48.320 --> 0:31:51.320
<v Speaker 2>we had somebody slide into the DMS. We have Becky

0:31:51.360 --> 0:31:53.520
<v Speaker 2>here to talk to us about her story because it

0:31:53.560 --> 0:31:56.160
<v Speaker 2>was so unique and it stood out so much to Britain.

0:31:56.240 --> 0:32:00.400
<v Speaker 2>I around how and why Becky decided to have a

0:32:00.440 --> 0:32:03.760
<v Speaker 2>stint of abstaining from sex. Becky, Welcome to.

0:32:03.800 --> 0:32:07.080
<v Speaker 3>Life on card, Hi cal thanks for having me, Becky.

0:32:07.200 --> 0:32:09.120
<v Speaker 1>I read your little DM slide in and I called

0:32:09.160 --> 0:32:10.680
<v Speaker 1>the girls and I was like, I don't know what

0:32:10.680 --> 0:32:12.040
<v Speaker 1>we're going to do with this, but we need to

0:32:12.080 --> 0:32:13.680
<v Speaker 1>talk to this girl. I was like, this is so

0:32:14.080 --> 0:32:17.440
<v Speaker 1>interesting and there are so many layers to your story.

0:32:17.480 --> 0:32:19.840
<v Speaker 1>It's not just oh, I didn't have sex. I want

0:32:19.840 --> 0:32:22.280
<v Speaker 1>to read out your Instagram DM, but I thought, you

0:32:22.320 --> 0:32:23.960
<v Speaker 1>know what, it's better if I just let you tell

0:32:24.000 --> 0:32:27.880
<v Speaker 1>your story. So let's start from the very beginning. Give

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:30.200
<v Speaker 1>us a bit about you. How old are you and

0:32:30.240 --> 0:32:33.880
<v Speaker 1>what relationship were you in when you decided, fuck, I

0:32:33.920 --> 0:32:34.920
<v Speaker 1>have had enough of this.

0:32:35.440 --> 0:32:39.000
<v Speaker 3>So I am thirty one years old, I'm a midwife,

0:32:39.120 --> 0:32:42.040
<v Speaker 3>and I was in it just a shit, a shit, toxic,

0:32:42.240 --> 0:32:44.840
<v Speaker 3>gross relationship on and off like two and a half years,

0:32:44.880 --> 0:32:46.680
<v Speaker 3>and it just was such a waste of my time.

0:32:47.000 --> 0:32:49.520
<v Speaker 3>But I still got out of it and was, you know,

0:32:49.680 --> 0:32:52.120
<v Speaker 3>just devastated as you are from these kind of toxic

0:32:52.280 --> 0:32:56.720
<v Speaker 3>shit relationships. And I just realized how much time I'd wasted,

0:32:57.280 --> 0:33:00.080
<v Speaker 3>how much validation I seekd from this one person, and

0:33:01.760 --> 0:33:04.880
<v Speaker 3>I decided, no, that's enough. I can't. I need to

0:33:04.880 --> 0:33:07.280
<v Speaker 3>heal myself, and in order to do that, I can't

0:33:07.400 --> 0:33:10.120
<v Speaker 3>use sex and relationships as a distraction anymore.

0:33:10.680 --> 0:33:13.120
<v Speaker 1>What was so toxic about the relationship, If you don't

0:33:13.120 --> 0:33:15.280
<v Speaker 1>mind me asking in terms of was it just that

0:33:15.320 --> 0:33:17.000
<v Speaker 1>you were two people that were wrong for each other?

0:33:17.040 --> 0:33:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Did you fight a lot? Was their cheating, was it abusive?

0:33:19.800 --> 0:33:21.480
<v Speaker 1>Like what level are we talking so we can get

0:33:21.480 --> 0:33:24.240
<v Speaker 1>our head around why you ran the other direction.

0:33:23.920 --> 0:33:26.720
<v Speaker 3>From sex totally. So it was toxic in all of

0:33:26.720 --> 0:33:29.240
<v Speaker 3>those senses. Basically, we're really we'll just treat people that

0:33:29.280 --> 0:33:31.920
<v Speaker 3>were really bad for each other. We had absolutely nothing

0:33:31.920 --> 0:33:34.560
<v Speaker 3>in common. He wasn't very nice to me, he didn't

0:33:34.560 --> 0:33:37.480
<v Speaker 3>treat me very well, and yeah it was pretty he

0:33:37.600 --> 0:33:40.040
<v Speaker 3>was pretty manipulative, and yeah, it was just it was

0:33:40.120 --> 0:33:41.440
<v Speaker 3>just shit. It was just bad.

0:33:41.720 --> 0:33:43.680
<v Speaker 2>What was I think this is a very personal question,

0:33:43.760 --> 0:33:47.160
<v Speaker 2>but like how important was sex in your relationship with him?

0:33:47.160 --> 0:33:48.920
<v Speaker 2>Like was that like something like you guys had a

0:33:48.920 --> 0:33:51.360
<v Speaker 2>healthy sex life. Would you say up until that point

0:33:51.400 --> 0:33:54.000
<v Speaker 2>that like sex was something that was high on your

0:33:54.000 --> 0:33:54.680
<v Speaker 2>priority list.

0:33:54.720 --> 0:33:56.560
<v Speaker 1>Sounds like it's the only thing they had in common.

0:33:57.160 --> 0:34:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Total one hundred percent, which I.

0:34:00.160 --> 0:34:02.000
<v Speaker 1>Think that is common as well, Becky. I think a

0:34:02.000 --> 0:34:05.000
<v Speaker 1>lot of people stay in relationships. I know in the past,

0:34:05.080 --> 0:34:08.759
<v Speaker 1>like I've definitely dated people too long purely because I

0:34:08.800 --> 0:34:10.360
<v Speaker 1>was like, we have a lot of chemistry, we have

0:34:10.440 --> 0:34:12.400
<v Speaker 1>great sex. I'm gonna just like hold on to this

0:34:12.440 --> 0:34:14.360
<v Speaker 1>one knowing it's not going anywhere. And I think a

0:34:14.400 --> 0:34:15.680
<v Speaker 1>lot of people are in the same boat.

0:34:16.200 --> 0:34:19.120
<v Speaker 3>Totally. Look, the sex wasn't necessarily the best sex of

0:34:19.120 --> 0:34:20.200
<v Speaker 3>my life. I'm not gonna lie.

0:34:20.239 --> 0:34:23.880
<v Speaker 2>I hope he's listening to this, but.

0:34:23.719 --> 0:34:28.200
<v Speaker 3>There's something about that toxicity and the breakup sex and

0:34:28.239 --> 0:34:31.279
<v Speaker 3>the makeup sex, and he was kind of just a

0:34:31.320 --> 0:34:33.560
<v Speaker 3>shit boyfriend. So the only time I felt close to

0:34:33.640 --> 0:34:36.200
<v Speaker 3>him was when we were having sex. So I really

0:34:36.320 --> 0:34:38.239
<v Speaker 3>kind of, you know, that's something that I craved and

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:39.480
<v Speaker 3>that I saw out and I wanted to do all

0:34:39.520 --> 0:34:41.520
<v Speaker 3>the time. If he wasn't having sex with me, he

0:34:41.560 --> 0:34:44.120
<v Speaker 3>didn't love me, which you know, we didn't want me anyway,

0:34:44.200 --> 0:34:46.840
<v Speaker 3>so it didn't really fuck it matter whether or not. Else.

0:34:48.200 --> 0:34:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Totally hit the nail on the head with that. There's

0:34:50.560 --> 0:34:53.280
<v Speaker 2>something that's so like it really binds you to someone

0:34:53.320 --> 0:34:56.560
<v Speaker 2>because it's volatility that can come with these toxic relationships

0:34:56.800 --> 0:34:58.920
<v Speaker 2>and the physical side of it really kind of just

0:34:58.960 --> 0:35:01.520
<v Speaker 2>like that's where you get your affirmation from. If they're

0:35:01.520 --> 0:35:04.000
<v Speaker 2>not giving you verbal affirmation or anything else, that can

0:35:04.040 --> 0:35:06.160
<v Speaker 2>be where you seek. And I think that you can

0:35:06.200 --> 0:35:09.320
<v Speaker 2>then almost have patent behavior where okay, cool, that relationship

0:35:09.320 --> 0:35:11.239
<v Speaker 2>has broken down, but then you can kind of go

0:35:11.280 --> 0:35:14.080
<v Speaker 2>and seek that in your next relationship as well. So

0:35:14.400 --> 0:35:17.760
<v Speaker 2>after your breakup, how long was it that you were like, Okay,

0:35:18.040 --> 0:35:21.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to just not have any sex at all.

0:35:21.520 --> 0:35:24.839
<v Speaker 3>So I decided after the breakup. But once i'd done

0:35:24.840 --> 0:35:26.120
<v Speaker 3>like a bit of healing, like a lot of it,

0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:28.160
<v Speaker 3>I think to begin with was a lot of self preservation,

0:35:28.280 --> 0:35:29.719
<v Speaker 3>I was like, nah, I need to take a step back,

0:35:29.760 --> 0:35:31.600
<v Speaker 3>I need to heal, I need to sort my shit out,

0:35:31.600 --> 0:35:33.160
<v Speaker 3>because I was a bit of a mess at the end.

0:35:33.680 --> 0:35:36.520
<v Speaker 3>And then I decided I'm going to be celibate for

0:35:36.719 --> 0:35:39.840
<v Speaker 3>a year, like no sex, and it had to be

0:35:39.880 --> 0:35:42.800
<v Speaker 3>an emotional celibacy too, So I wasn't talking to anyone,

0:35:42.840 --> 0:35:46.040
<v Speaker 3>I wasn't on dating sites, I wasn't having any kind

0:35:46.080 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 3>of emotional connection like relationship wise with anybody. So it

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:54.279
<v Speaker 3>was an emotional celibacy and a sexual celibacy. And I decided, yes,

0:35:54.320 --> 0:35:55.839
<v Speaker 3>it's going to be a year and I'll see how

0:35:55.840 --> 0:35:57.959
<v Speaker 3>I go. And I thought after a year that I'd

0:35:57.960 --> 0:36:01.040
<v Speaker 3>be like, hang in for it then and the year passed,

0:36:01.719 --> 0:36:04.399
<v Speaker 3>and I mean, I guess we'll get into that more later.

0:36:04.480 --> 0:36:06.440
<v Speaker 3>But it was one of the best years of my life.

0:36:06.920 --> 0:36:08.719
<v Speaker 3>And then I went another year, so I ended up

0:36:08.760 --> 0:36:09.280
<v Speaker 3>two years.

0:36:09.160 --> 0:36:11.560
<v Speaker 2>Thol, But why was it one of the best years

0:36:11.600 --> 0:36:12.280
<v Speaker 2>of your life.

0:36:12.520 --> 0:36:15.360
<v Speaker 3>So I'd always been like a super super sexual person,

0:36:15.400 --> 0:36:16.719
<v Speaker 3>Like even going back to when I was a kid,

0:36:16.719 --> 0:36:19.360
<v Speaker 3>I was like a sexual kid. I was like humping furniture.

0:36:19.400 --> 0:36:21.600
<v Speaker 3>I was always really I'm not getting I was always

0:36:21.640 --> 0:36:22.960
<v Speaker 3>really fucking into sex.

0:36:23.239 --> 0:36:27.920
<v Speaker 1>Even you've actually felt like you felt horny younger than

0:36:27.920 --> 0:36:28.959
<v Speaker 1>you think other people did.

0:36:29.200 --> 0:36:31.439
<v Speaker 3>Totally super super young.

0:36:31.520 --> 0:36:32.480
<v Speaker 2>That is so interesting.

0:36:32.680 --> 0:36:35.640
<v Speaker 3>I was like sex obsessed. So when I started having sex,

0:36:36.160 --> 0:36:38.680
<v Speaker 3>it was so fun, it was so freeing, it felt

0:36:38.719 --> 0:36:40.480
<v Speaker 3>so good. I was so in control. It was the

0:36:40.520 --> 0:36:43.600
<v Speaker 3>best thing ever. And then I started getting into relationships

0:36:43.600 --> 0:36:45.360
<v Speaker 3>and falling in love and seeing what sex could be

0:36:45.520 --> 0:36:49.680
<v Speaker 3>like from this safe, like loving, beautiful place, and that

0:36:49.800 --> 0:36:52.319
<v Speaker 3>was fantastic. And then I got into this shit relationship

0:36:52.640 --> 0:36:55.279
<v Speaker 3>where I was just like completely like bought down and

0:36:55.360 --> 0:36:57.880
<v Speaker 3>just treated badly, and the sex became so toxic and

0:36:57.920 --> 0:36:59.560
<v Speaker 3>so gross, and it was just like I wanted to

0:36:59.680 --> 0:37:01.440
<v Speaker 3>wash it. I just want to like wash it off me.

0:37:01.840 --> 0:37:04.640
<v Speaker 3>So in contrast to that, not having sex for so

0:37:04.800 --> 0:37:07.320
<v Speaker 3>long it just made me realize that I'd been using

0:37:07.880 --> 0:37:11.400
<v Speaker 3>sex and relationships as it just complete distraction to figure

0:37:11.400 --> 0:37:13.759
<v Speaker 3>out what I kind of needed to figure out in

0:37:13.760 --> 0:37:16.400
<v Speaker 3>my life. So that first year it was like I

0:37:16.400 --> 0:37:18.640
<v Speaker 3>had so much clarity. There was no background noise. I

0:37:18.680 --> 0:37:20.799
<v Speaker 3>wasn't thinking about anyone. I wasn't thinking about is he

0:37:20.880 --> 0:37:22.920
<v Speaker 3>going to text me? Or like, you know, when we

0:37:22.960 --> 0:37:25.000
<v Speaker 3>fucked the other night, I did he like, I didn't care.

0:37:25.200 --> 0:37:27.840
<v Speaker 3>I just had this clear mind where I could focus

0:37:27.960 --> 0:37:29.960
<v Speaker 3>on myself and I've never done that before, and it

0:37:30.040 --> 0:37:32.680
<v Speaker 3>just made me really realize how many of us in

0:37:32.719 --> 0:37:35.520
<v Speaker 3>retrospect had been using sex and relationships as such a

0:37:35.520 --> 0:37:39.080
<v Speaker 3>distraction for the deeper stuff. So that first year was

0:37:39.120 --> 0:37:41.560
<v Speaker 3>really like gritty. I did a lot of digging. I

0:37:41.920 --> 0:37:44.799
<v Speaker 3>went to therapy, you know, I bought an apartment. I

0:37:44.840 --> 0:37:47.440
<v Speaker 3>lived by myself for the first time ever. There was

0:37:47.719 --> 0:37:49.840
<v Speaker 3>just so much that I did and it was so hard,

0:37:49.920 --> 0:37:52.440
<v Speaker 3>but it was so so great.

0:37:52.640 --> 0:37:55.399
<v Speaker 1>Going back a second to something that you just said,

0:37:55.520 --> 0:37:59.200
<v Speaker 1>where I find this really interesting that you wanted to

0:37:59.200 --> 0:38:01.879
<v Speaker 1>do just not like a physical celibacy, but you want

0:38:01.880 --> 0:38:04.239
<v Speaker 1>to do an emotional celibacy too. I find that and

0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:06.880
<v Speaker 1>I hadn't really and literally until you saw this right now,

0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:09.719
<v Speaker 1>I hadn't really thought about it before. But it is

0:38:10.120 --> 0:38:14.160
<v Speaker 1>so draining when you are in like even if you

0:38:14.160 --> 0:38:16.480
<v Speaker 1>weren't having sex when you're in an emotional relationship, or

0:38:16.600 --> 0:38:18.520
<v Speaker 1>not even in a relationship, like you just said those

0:38:18.520 --> 0:38:20.279
<v Speaker 1>early days of I've gone on a date, or is

0:38:20.280 --> 0:38:22.160
<v Speaker 1>he going to text me? Did I do this wrong?

0:38:22.239 --> 0:38:24.160
<v Speaker 1>What should I write to him right now? Just all

0:38:24.400 --> 0:38:26.839
<v Speaker 1>those stupid little things. I think there is one hundred

0:38:26.840 --> 0:38:30.040
<v Speaker 1>percent something to be said for just cutting both off.

0:38:30.560 --> 0:38:33.320
<v Speaker 1>Were you one hundred percent? Did you set yourself the

0:38:33.400 --> 0:38:35.520
<v Speaker 1>date of one year and say that, like, nothing's going

0:38:35.600 --> 0:38:37.640
<v Speaker 1>to get in my way? But in that year, were

0:38:37.680 --> 0:38:40.799
<v Speaker 1>there times where you wanted to or were you were

0:38:40.840 --> 0:38:42.719
<v Speaker 1>close to or you thought, fuck, let me just go

0:38:42.760 --> 0:38:44.399
<v Speaker 1>and have a one light stand. Was there any sort

0:38:44.440 --> 0:38:45.759
<v Speaker 1>of temptation in that year?

0:38:46.239 --> 0:38:48.360
<v Speaker 3>No, there wasn't. There really wasn't, and I thought there

0:38:48.400 --> 0:38:49.640
<v Speaker 3>would be. I was like, this is going to be

0:38:49.680 --> 0:38:52.400
<v Speaker 3>hard for me and my friends. I was like, you know,

0:38:52.440 --> 0:38:53.800
<v Speaker 3>I told them I was going to be celibate for

0:38:53.800 --> 0:38:55.279
<v Speaker 3>the year, and they all had bets on like when

0:38:55.320 --> 0:38:57.400
<v Speaker 3>I was going to have sex again, and it was

0:38:57.400 --> 0:38:59.480
<v Speaker 3>like it was like the next week, They're like, all right,

0:38:59.520 --> 0:39:01.880
<v Speaker 3>you're not going to last that long. But I wasn't

0:39:01.920 --> 0:39:03.920
<v Speaker 3>tempted at all. Like I'd go out with my girlfriends

0:39:03.960 --> 0:39:06.080
<v Speaker 3>on a night out and it was really nice because

0:39:06.080 --> 0:39:07.640
<v Speaker 3>I was just there with my girlfriends, like I was

0:39:07.680 --> 0:39:09.520
<v Speaker 3>just there to have fun with them. I wasn't looking around.

0:39:09.560 --> 0:39:12.880
<v Speaker 3>I stopped dressing for the male gaze. I stopped presenting

0:39:12.920 --> 0:39:15.040
<v Speaker 3>myself in a way that you know that I thought

0:39:15.040 --> 0:39:17.520
<v Speaker 3>would even be like, because I just didn't care, you know,

0:39:17.719 --> 0:39:19.400
<v Speaker 3>instead of like going out and getting dressed up and

0:39:19.440 --> 0:39:22.400
<v Speaker 3>like looking to fuck. It just wasn't even on my

0:39:22.520 --> 0:39:24.960
<v Speaker 3>gender at all. And I wasn't tempted. I didn't meet

0:39:25.200 --> 0:39:27.560
<v Speaker 3>anybody that I was interested in. I wasn't looking like

0:39:27.600 --> 0:39:28.799
<v Speaker 3>I had a fuck off sign on my.

0:39:28.760 --> 0:39:32.520
<v Speaker 1>Back literally all metaphorically, that would have been funny if

0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:34.120
<v Speaker 1>I saw you on the dance floor, the fuck.

0:39:35.000 --> 0:39:37.399
<v Speaker 3>And I think that the longer you go without sex

0:39:37.440 --> 0:39:39.520
<v Speaker 3>as well, and the longer you go without relation, you know,

0:39:39.560 --> 0:39:41.960
<v Speaker 3>whatever it is, whether it's like a situationship or like

0:39:42.000 --> 0:39:44.560
<v Speaker 3>you know, talking to someone or fucking somebody, the longer

0:39:44.600 --> 0:39:47.160
<v Speaker 3>you go without it, the more your self worth really

0:39:47.200 --> 0:39:49.880
<v Speaker 3>starts to grow. So all of a sudden, people that

0:39:49.920 --> 0:39:53.120
<v Speaker 3>I might have gone home with before, I was like, no, like,

0:39:53.200 --> 0:39:54.719
<v Speaker 3>you're not good enough to go in me, I'm not

0:39:54.800 --> 0:39:55.120
<v Speaker 3>into it.

0:39:55.640 --> 0:39:57.160
<v Speaker 1>You're you are not the man that I'm going to

0:39:57.200 --> 0:39:57.960
<v Speaker 1>bring this drout for.

0:39:58.120 --> 0:39:58.640
<v Speaker 2>That's for sure.

0:39:58.680 --> 0:40:01.000
<v Speaker 1>You were not good enough to go. I feel like

0:40:01.040 --> 0:40:02.160
<v Speaker 1>that needs to be a bumper sticker.

0:40:02.280 --> 0:40:04.600
<v Speaker 2>Yes, that's that's our next merge, that's our slogan. First.

0:40:04.880 --> 0:40:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I think that's so many people. When we think about

0:40:07.840 --> 0:40:10.480
<v Speaker 2>when you're in that dating phase, we have this scarcity

0:40:10.520 --> 0:40:12.320
<v Speaker 2>mindset where we think we're going to miss out. We

0:40:12.360 --> 0:40:14.600
<v Speaker 2>think we're gonna like, you know, we're not gonna not

0:40:14.640 --> 0:40:18.160
<v Speaker 2>even just fomo, but not miss out on like the dating,

0:40:18.239 --> 0:40:20.400
<v Speaker 2>but just miss out on finding someone who we're going

0:40:20.440 --> 0:40:22.920
<v Speaker 2>to have a long term relationship, like wasting time. This

0:40:23.040 --> 0:40:25.320
<v Speaker 2>is a question that we get over and over again

0:40:25.360 --> 0:40:27.359
<v Speaker 2>from women who are in their twenties or in their

0:40:27.400 --> 0:40:30.719
<v Speaker 2>thirties who see everybody else settling down, getting in relationships,

0:40:30.719 --> 0:40:33.080
<v Speaker 2>and they're like, in their mind, they're like, well, fuck,

0:40:33.120 --> 0:40:34.440
<v Speaker 2>what if I miss out on that? You know what

0:40:34.440 --> 0:40:36.840
<v Speaker 2>if no one ever loves me? Did you ever have

0:40:36.880 --> 0:40:40.200
<v Speaker 2>a moment where you were like in that year thinking, oh, well,

0:40:40.200 --> 0:40:42.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm consciously taking a year out of my life from

0:40:42.080 --> 0:40:43.879
<v Speaker 2>where I'm going to find someone or had you really

0:40:43.880 --> 0:40:45.279
<v Speaker 2>come to peace and were you like, no, do you

0:40:45.360 --> 0:40:47.600
<v Speaker 2>know what? There are much other, bigger and more important

0:40:47.600 --> 0:40:49.239
<v Speaker 2>things than just being in a relationship.

0:40:49.360 --> 0:40:51.479
<v Speaker 3>Totally, it was a bit of both, Like it wasn't

0:40:51.520 --> 0:40:54.000
<v Speaker 3>always easy, Like I've been single before, but I've never

0:40:54.120 --> 0:40:56.960
<v Speaker 3>truly been alone, and this was about truly being alone.

0:40:57.040 --> 0:40:59.640
<v Speaker 3>So there were times when friends were getting into relationships

0:40:59.640 --> 0:41:01.640
<v Speaker 3>and people getting married. I was like, fucking well, I

0:41:01.640 --> 0:41:03.920
<v Speaker 3>ever meet someone especially hot? My standards are so high,

0:41:03.960 --> 0:41:07.040
<v Speaker 3>Probably fucking not. So I was really, you know, I

0:41:07.040 --> 0:41:07.960
<v Speaker 3>thought about it a lot.

0:41:08.040 --> 0:41:10.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, maybe if you take the sign off your back back,

0:41:13.760 --> 0:41:15.960
<v Speaker 2>like I love this, I love this conversation. I love like,

0:41:16.200 --> 0:41:17.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, the energy that you're putting out into the world,

0:41:18.000 --> 0:41:20.319
<v Speaker 2>because I do think for so many people, and I

0:41:20.360 --> 0:41:23.200
<v Speaker 2>know that I've been there personally, I lowered my standards

0:41:23.239 --> 0:41:25.160
<v Speaker 2>just because I didn't think I would meet somebody. I

0:41:25.160 --> 0:41:27.839
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to be alone. So instead of going out

0:41:27.840 --> 0:41:30.360
<v Speaker 2>there and trying to reassess and readjust and work with myself,

0:41:30.480 --> 0:41:32.960
<v Speaker 2>I was like, well, the standards just lowered down, and

0:41:33.000 --> 0:41:35.040
<v Speaker 2>like my boundaries lowered down, and what I would accept

0:41:35.080 --> 0:41:37.360
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship was lowered down because I was so

0:41:37.520 --> 0:41:38.719
<v Speaker 2>find about being on my own.

0:41:39.000 --> 0:41:40.319
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, yeah, I.

0:41:40.280 --> 0:41:42.600
<v Speaker 1>Did this right, but I didn't know that I was

0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:44.400
<v Speaker 1>doing it. I just didn't have sex for a long

0:41:44.480 --> 0:41:46.440
<v Speaker 1>time because I was just not in a good place.

0:41:46.480 --> 0:41:48.879
<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to meet anyone. People disgusted me, and

0:41:49.080 --> 0:41:51.759
<v Speaker 1>I was so okay with it. But I didn't really

0:41:51.760 --> 0:41:54.439
<v Speaker 1>realize until my friends and I were like talking about

0:41:54.480 --> 0:41:56.560
<v Speaker 1>it one day, when was the last time you had sex?

0:41:56.560 --> 0:41:58.680
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, let me think about this, and

0:41:58.719 --> 0:42:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I was like, holy shit, it's what will you been

0:42:00.600 --> 0:42:02.640
<v Speaker 1>like ten months now. I know that that's not a

0:42:02.680 --> 0:42:04.880
<v Speaker 1>long time, but it's a pretty long time for like

0:42:05.160 --> 0:42:08.080
<v Speaker 1>a young single woman. But the thing with me was

0:42:08.080 --> 0:42:10.360
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't intentional. I didn't actually know I was doing it.

0:42:10.360 --> 0:42:11.719
<v Speaker 1>I didn't put it out to the world. It just

0:42:11.760 --> 0:42:14.480
<v Speaker 1>happened and it was so fine. I felt really good.

0:42:14.520 --> 0:42:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I was in a good place in my life in

0:42:16.160 --> 0:42:18.600
<v Speaker 1>terms of work and what I was doing, and I've

0:42:18.640 --> 0:42:24.839
<v Speaker 1>never gone that long again. But I can appreciate why.

0:42:24.600 --> 0:42:26.640
<v Speaker 3>You did it totally well. I was just going to

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:29.000
<v Speaker 3>quickly go back to what Laura said about kind of

0:42:29.040 --> 0:42:32.360
<v Speaker 3>lowering standards, and that was something that I was really

0:42:32.680 --> 0:42:35.160
<v Speaker 3>conscious of that I had been in this relationship with

0:42:35.200 --> 0:42:37.640
<v Speaker 3>this person that was very much not on my level.

0:42:37.920 --> 0:42:40.279
<v Speaker 3>And I kind of thought, what made me get into

0:42:40.280 --> 0:42:42.120
<v Speaker 3>that relationship with that person that I have nothing in

0:42:42.120 --> 0:42:43.879
<v Speaker 3>common with, that is kind of a piece of shit

0:42:43.920 --> 0:42:46.719
<v Speaker 3>that he's going nowhere? What about me thought that that

0:42:47.040 --> 0:42:48.799
<v Speaker 3>was a good thing for me? What made me think

0:42:48.840 --> 0:42:50.680
<v Speaker 3>that I wasn't good enough to be better than that?

0:42:51.040 --> 0:42:52.759
<v Speaker 3>So that was a really conscious thing as well, that

0:42:52.880 --> 0:42:55.239
<v Speaker 3>this year, I need to build myself up. I need

0:42:55.280 --> 0:42:57.319
<v Speaker 3>to make myself you know, a better person for me

0:42:57.360 --> 0:42:59.680
<v Speaker 3>so that when I do get into a relationship, And

0:42:59.719 --> 0:43:02.120
<v Speaker 3>that was never the point. It was never the point

0:43:02.120 --> 0:43:04.319
<v Speaker 3>to get into relationship after the year, but it was

0:43:04.360 --> 0:43:08.480
<v Speaker 3>definitely part of being a better person, having a self validation,

0:43:09.040 --> 0:43:11.480
<v Speaker 3>you know, feeling good about myself again so that if

0:43:11.520 --> 0:43:13.480
<v Speaker 3>I did meet somebody, well, I'd be the best, but

0:43:13.600 --> 0:43:15.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, version of myself.

0:43:15.160 --> 0:43:17.359
<v Speaker 2>For somebody who's listening to this, who's maybe come out

0:43:17.360 --> 0:43:19.760
<v Speaker 2>of a bad breakup or can identify with the situation

0:43:19.800 --> 0:43:22.239
<v Speaker 2>that you've been through and kind of sees themselves in that.

0:43:23.040 --> 0:43:26.720
<v Speaker 2>When we had the conversation about celibacy on the podcast earlier,

0:43:26.880 --> 0:43:29.680
<v Speaker 2>we sort of spoke about it more so around physical celibacy,

0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:32.120
<v Speaker 2>and we only just touched on the emotional side. But

0:43:32.280 --> 0:43:34.520
<v Speaker 2>why do you think it's so important that from a

0:43:34.520 --> 0:43:38.040
<v Speaker 2>healing perspective, the emotional celibacy and the physical celibacy go

0:43:38.120 --> 0:43:38.720
<v Speaker 2>hand in hand.

0:43:38.960 --> 0:43:42.279
<v Speaker 3>So I think that the physical celibacy, I mean, you

0:43:42.360 --> 0:43:44.960
<v Speaker 3>sleep with somebody and they can make you feel really

0:43:45.000 --> 0:43:47.160
<v Speaker 3>good about yourself in the moment, like you're having a

0:43:47.160 --> 0:43:50.520
<v Speaker 3>good time, But then it's what comes emotionally, like does

0:43:50.560 --> 0:43:52.879
<v Speaker 3>he text you afterwards? Is he taking you out on dates?

0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:55.040
<v Speaker 3>Is he treating you well? Sometimes we get that sexual

0:43:55.120 --> 0:43:57.120
<v Speaker 3>validation and sometimes that's a really good thing, and that

0:43:57.160 --> 0:43:58.879
<v Speaker 3>can be really fun. And if that's all you need,

0:43:58.920 --> 0:44:01.799
<v Speaker 3>then that's fantastic. And no shade to anyone that's having

0:44:01.880 --> 0:44:03.640
<v Speaker 3>you know, like, good for you. I've had so many

0:44:03.680 --> 0:44:05.880
<v Speaker 3>one nightstands, I had so much fun. That's great. But

0:44:06.160 --> 0:44:08.520
<v Speaker 3>for me, it just wasn't about that. It was about

0:44:08.800 --> 0:44:11.839
<v Speaker 3>what comes after and what for me I kind of

0:44:12.000 --> 0:44:14.759
<v Speaker 3>I needed to work on so that for what came after,

0:44:14.880 --> 0:44:17.279
<v Speaker 3>I didn't care about it anymore. Whereas you know, in

0:44:17.320 --> 0:44:20.160
<v Speaker 3>this previous relationship, it was something that I braved so

0:44:20.239 --> 0:44:24.239
<v Speaker 3>much from him. I needed that validation and that love

0:44:24.280 --> 0:44:25.480
<v Speaker 3>from him after the sex?

0:44:25.840 --> 0:44:27.719
<v Speaker 1>Did you kiss anyone at all? Like, did you have

0:44:27.760 --> 0:44:29.719
<v Speaker 1>any physical contact at that time? Nope, you didn't. So

0:44:29.800 --> 0:44:32.400
<v Speaker 1>for two years you didn't even kiss anyone nothing. She

0:44:32.440 --> 0:44:35.000
<v Speaker 1>takes the assignment seriously, Brittany. Yeah, you've read the brief

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:38.160
<v Speaker 1>and you delivered big time. Okay, so you've done this

0:44:38.280 --> 0:44:40.359
<v Speaker 1>two years. Well, you know, you started off as one

0:44:40.440 --> 0:44:43.400
<v Speaker 1>year and eventuated to two years. What was the moment

0:44:43.800 --> 0:44:47.320
<v Speaker 1>what happened? If your life was moving in a direction

0:44:47.360 --> 0:44:50.799
<v Speaker 1>that you wanted. You were happy mentally, emotionally, physically, you

0:44:50.800 --> 0:44:52.359
<v Speaker 1>were on your own, you were doing everything you wanted

0:44:52.360 --> 0:44:54.200
<v Speaker 1>to do, what was the moment where you're like, cool,

0:44:54.440 --> 0:44:57.279
<v Speaker 1>I've made it. I've reached the point I want to fuck.

0:44:57.440 --> 0:44:59.560
<v Speaker 3>So it kind of came up to the back end

0:44:59.560 --> 0:45:01.239
<v Speaker 3>of the two years. I kind of reached the two

0:45:01.320 --> 0:45:04.239
<v Speaker 3>years and I was like, all right, well, like what next.

0:45:04.320 --> 0:45:05.840
<v Speaker 3>I got to get on the horse, and I felt

0:45:06.160 --> 0:45:07.920
<v Speaker 3>like I was ready. There was just something that swept

0:45:07.960 --> 0:45:10.000
<v Speaker 3>over me, not suddenly, but kind of overtime where I

0:45:10.040 --> 0:45:13.440
<v Speaker 3>was kind of like looking and thinking like I need

0:45:13.480 --> 0:45:15.319
<v Speaker 3>to start dating again, or like at least need to

0:45:15.320 --> 0:45:16.600
<v Speaker 3>have a fuck, Like I need to need to get

0:45:16.640 --> 0:45:20.120
<v Speaker 3>it out of the way, so it just slowly happened

0:45:20.560 --> 0:45:23.280
<v Speaker 3>that I just reached a point where I was ready.

0:45:23.320 --> 0:45:25.880
<v Speaker 1>Did you masturbate it all over the time, Like was

0:45:25.880 --> 0:45:29.000
<v Speaker 1>there any self pleasure or did you withhold from that everything?

0:45:29.080 --> 0:45:33.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, of course masturbated constantly, but I did I didn't.

0:45:34.600 --> 0:45:37.560
<v Speaker 3>I did go on a porn band, so I didn't

0:45:37.560 --> 0:45:39.520
<v Speaker 3>watch porn for two years because I felt like I

0:45:39.560 --> 0:45:42.200
<v Speaker 3>was really relyant on porn, like I'd always just use

0:45:42.280 --> 0:45:44.320
<v Speaker 3>porn to get off. And I didn't use a vibrator

0:45:44.320 --> 0:45:44.839
<v Speaker 3>for two years.

0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:46.839
<v Speaker 2>Wow, So you've really had rules for.

0:45:46.800 --> 0:45:50.080
<v Speaker 3>Yourself, total total rules. There was so much that I

0:45:50.120 --> 0:45:51.759
<v Speaker 3>wanted to work on, like going back to, you know,

0:45:51.800 --> 0:45:53.520
<v Speaker 3>sex when I was younger, and like my obsession with

0:45:53.560 --> 0:45:55.160
<v Speaker 3>sex when I was younger. I think it got like

0:45:55.200 --> 0:45:57.239
<v Speaker 3>an unhealthy place where like I would only be able

0:45:57.239 --> 0:46:00.320
<v Speaker 3>to come if I was watching porn. I probably hadn't

0:46:00.320 --> 0:46:03.120
<v Speaker 3>come without a vibrator for like years and years, So

0:46:03.160 --> 0:46:04.640
<v Speaker 3>I was like, all right, I need to need to

0:46:04.640 --> 0:46:06.359
<v Speaker 3>cut this out too. I think it's not going to hurt,

0:46:06.719 --> 0:46:08.000
<v Speaker 3>so I just cut it.

0:46:08.080 --> 0:46:10.800
<v Speaker 1>I find it interesting because we've talked about porn obsession,

0:46:10.880 --> 0:46:12.719
<v Speaker 1>Laura and I by it before we're like, let's do

0:46:12.719 --> 0:46:16.960
<v Speaker 1>an episode on porn addiction and sex addiction and those

0:46:17.040 --> 0:46:18.960
<v Speaker 1>kind of things. So when I hear someone say, you know,

0:46:19.040 --> 0:46:20.839
<v Speaker 1>I was pretty much digted to porn, I just find

0:46:20.840 --> 0:46:22.560
<v Speaker 1>it and someone that's my age and a woman, I

0:46:22.560 --> 0:46:23.640
<v Speaker 1>find it really fascinating.

0:46:23.680 --> 0:46:25.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think that that's the key differentiator. I

0:46:25.880 --> 0:46:28.720
<v Speaker 2>think that in society, we're okay with men watching porn,

0:46:28.760 --> 0:46:31.680
<v Speaker 2>and we think that's acceptable and that's normalized that men

0:46:31.719 --> 0:46:35.480
<v Speaker 2>watch porn, But it's still a bit like unusual maybe

0:46:35.800 --> 0:46:37.880
<v Speaker 2>is the right word to use, like unusual when a

0:46:37.880 --> 0:46:40.319
<v Speaker 2>woman does it, but so many women do, they just

0:46:40.320 --> 0:46:42.239
<v Speaker 2>don't talk about it because there's a little bit more

0:46:42.239 --> 0:46:45.120
<v Speaker 2>of tab a stigma around women watching porn, especially women

0:46:45.160 --> 0:46:48.480
<v Speaker 2>watching porn on their own, not with their partner. Now,

0:46:48.560 --> 0:46:50.440
<v Speaker 2>the reason why we wanted to speak to you not

0:46:50.520 --> 0:46:53.040
<v Speaker 2>just because you have such an interesting and long stint

0:46:53.080 --> 0:46:55.600
<v Speaker 2>of celibacy, but because you have a pretty spectacular way

0:46:55.680 --> 0:47:01.120
<v Speaker 2>in which you decided to break the drought, came Maki sang, Yeah, yeah,

0:47:01.120 --> 0:47:03.080
<v Speaker 2>the girl's on fire. Can you talk us through when

0:47:03.080 --> 0:47:04.560
<v Speaker 2>you did get to this point where you were like,

0:47:04.600 --> 0:47:06.719
<v Speaker 2>all right, cool, I want to get back out there

0:47:06.719 --> 0:47:09.680
<v Speaker 2>into the world of sex? How did you do it?

0:47:09.840 --> 0:47:11.359
<v Speaker 1>How do you pick your prize?

0:47:12.080 --> 0:47:15.399
<v Speaker 3>So basically, I well, I went to a sex party.

0:47:15.480 --> 0:47:16.759
<v Speaker 3>Let's just put that out there. I went to a

0:47:16.800 --> 0:47:19.279
<v Speaker 3>sex party and I had group sex in order to

0:47:19.560 --> 0:47:21.400
<v Speaker 3>basically lose my to year virginity.

0:47:21.640 --> 0:47:23.239
<v Speaker 1>So Tinder just wasn't going to do it for you

0:47:23.280 --> 0:47:25.160
<v Speaker 1>were like, this is a baptism of fire. You're like,

0:47:25.200 --> 0:47:26.680
<v Speaker 1>I want to I want the more the merrier. I

0:47:26.760 --> 0:47:27.400
<v Speaker 1>want a group.

0:47:27.480 --> 0:47:29.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a big, big party.

0:47:29.160 --> 0:47:30.160
<v Speaker 3>Don't do things by heart?

0:47:30.280 --> 0:47:33.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, go hard or go home? How did you good one, Laura?

0:47:33.640 --> 0:47:35.080
<v Speaker 1>How did you find this sex?

0:47:35.280 --> 0:47:35.360
<v Speaker 3>Like?

0:47:35.520 --> 0:47:37.440
<v Speaker 1>What made you decide on a sex party?

0:47:37.560 --> 0:47:39.400
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't something that I was like, Okay, I'm going

0:47:39.440 --> 0:47:40.600
<v Speaker 3>to go to a sex party and this is what

0:47:40.600 --> 0:47:42.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to do. It literally fell from the universe.

0:47:42.760 --> 0:47:45.120
<v Speaker 3>I think the universe was like this girl needs to

0:47:45.200 --> 0:47:48.840
<v Speaker 3>catch a dick. So I got this message from this.

0:47:50.360 --> 0:47:52.880
<v Speaker 1>There are so many bumper stickers in this episode. I

0:47:52.880 --> 0:47:53.960
<v Speaker 1>don't know which one I love more.

0:47:54.760 --> 0:47:56.600
<v Speaker 3>So I got this text message from this guy that

0:47:56.640 --> 0:47:59.040
<v Speaker 3>I hadn't heard from for ages. We went to like

0:47:59.120 --> 0:48:01.280
<v Speaker 3>high school parties to that we had each other on Facebook.

0:48:01.400 --> 0:48:03.360
<v Speaker 3>He messaged me He's like, listen, I know you've always

0:48:03.360 --> 0:48:06.600
<v Speaker 3>been like a really sexually out there person because you know,

0:48:06.640 --> 0:48:09.560
<v Speaker 3>going back to my young years, I definitely was I'm married,

0:48:09.800 --> 0:48:13.320
<v Speaker 3>but i am polyamorous, and I'm part of this community.

0:48:13.320 --> 0:48:15.240
<v Speaker 3>I wondered if you wanted to come to an event

0:48:15.280 --> 0:48:18.439
<v Speaker 3>with me. So this came out of nowhere straight away.

0:48:18.480 --> 0:48:22.080
<v Speaker 3>I was like, all right, cool. So we messaged back

0:48:22.080 --> 0:48:24.400
<v Speaker 3>and forth and then there was an event happening, and

0:48:24.440 --> 0:48:27.040
<v Speaker 3>basically it was just like at a bar. It was

0:48:27.080 --> 0:48:29.200
<v Speaker 3>like a high venue at a bar that was organized

0:48:29.239 --> 0:48:32.680
<v Speaker 3>by this girl and her partner. And so you go

0:48:32.719 --> 0:48:35.080
<v Speaker 3>to the bar, you pay, there's like an entry, you pay,

0:48:35.120 --> 0:48:37.520
<v Speaker 3>there's no sex on premises. This is like purely just

0:48:37.520 --> 0:48:39.719
<v Speaker 3>like a party, and it's people in the community. So

0:48:40.200 --> 0:48:43.520
<v Speaker 3>it's a polyamorous community. A lot of people are partnered up,

0:48:43.560 --> 0:48:47.360
<v Speaker 3>a lot of people are married. There's also single people there,

0:48:47.360 --> 0:48:50.520
<v Speaker 3>not as many single guys, but they definitely want single girls.

0:48:51.000 --> 0:48:53.440
<v Speaker 3>So I was there with two of my best friends.

0:48:53.440 --> 0:48:55.399
<v Speaker 3>We basically just rocked up. We paid our fifty bucks

0:48:55.440 --> 0:48:57.600
<v Speaker 3>to get him, and it was just a really fun night.

0:48:57.680 --> 0:48:59.280
<v Speaker 3>And so we got to know all these different people

0:48:59.280 --> 0:49:01.880
<v Speaker 3>and we met the girl that ran the events and

0:49:02.000 --> 0:49:04.279
<v Speaker 3>ran the sex parties, and you need to meet her.

0:49:04.320 --> 0:49:05.680
<v Speaker 3>She I guess she needs to scuss that if you're

0:49:05.680 --> 0:49:08.080
<v Speaker 3>attractive and you know, clean and just you know, a

0:49:08.080 --> 0:49:11.040
<v Speaker 3>normal person there for the right reasons. And so we

0:49:11.120 --> 0:49:13.680
<v Speaker 3>met her and she invited us to one of her

0:49:13.719 --> 0:49:16.399
<v Speaker 3>sex parties, maybe three or so weeks later.

0:49:16.680 --> 0:49:18.640
<v Speaker 1>So this night where you go to the bar and

0:49:18.680 --> 0:49:21.200
<v Speaker 1>meet people, is the idea that at the end of

0:49:21.239 --> 0:49:23.080
<v Speaker 1>the night people go home together, or is there a

0:49:23.200 --> 0:49:26.759
<v Speaker 1>venue later somewhere else that the sex can happen or

0:49:26.800 --> 0:49:29.239
<v Speaker 1>group sex can happen, or is it just like this

0:49:29.320 --> 0:49:31.239
<v Speaker 1>is our initial meeting and in two weeks we have

0:49:31.280 --> 0:49:33.640
<v Speaker 1>a sex party. If you want to come, you come, correct.

0:49:33.640 --> 0:49:35.719
<v Speaker 3>So I don't know people went home together. They very

0:49:35.719 --> 0:49:37.359
<v Speaker 3>well could have. I don't know they could have gone

0:49:37.400 --> 0:49:40.279
<v Speaker 3>home together after that, but it's really saved for the

0:49:40.360 --> 0:49:42.640
<v Speaker 3>sex party. People like to be there, they like to

0:49:42.680 --> 0:49:45.759
<v Speaker 3>be all together, they like having group sex, they like

0:49:45.800 --> 0:49:48.280
<v Speaker 3>watching group sex. So I think it's more about the party.

0:49:48.640 --> 0:49:50.600
<v Speaker 2>So told me through a little bit about this, like

0:49:50.840 --> 0:49:53.759
<v Speaker 2>was it overwhelming or was it nerve wracking walking into

0:49:53.760 --> 0:49:56.840
<v Speaker 2>a situation where you've abstained from sex for two years

0:49:56.880 --> 0:49:59.640
<v Speaker 2>and then you're literally surrounded by it in the most

0:49:59.719 --> 0:50:01.800
<v Speaker 2>ho like uninhibited way possible.

0:50:02.000 --> 0:50:03.920
<v Speaker 3>Totally. I didn't know what I was walking into, but

0:50:03.960 --> 0:50:06.279
<v Speaker 3>they were all really nice people. It was a really

0:50:06.320 --> 0:50:09.239
<v Speaker 3>safe environment, and I felt before I went, I gave

0:50:09.280 --> 0:50:11.280
<v Speaker 3>myself like a bit of a pep talk and I'm like, listen,

0:50:11.360 --> 0:50:13.480
<v Speaker 3>you gotta do this, girl. And I wasn't going to

0:50:13.480 --> 0:50:15.640
<v Speaker 3>force it. If there was nobody that I was into, obviously,

0:50:15.680 --> 0:50:17.839
<v Speaker 3>I wasn't going to force it. But I fake tan

0:50:17.960 --> 0:50:19.480
<v Speaker 3>my titties. I was ready to go.

0:50:20.000 --> 0:50:21.919
<v Speaker 1>Justy boobs or the rest of body as well. Walking

0:50:22.960 --> 0:50:24.960
<v Speaker 1>I just really wanted to highlight these bad boys.

0:50:25.239 --> 0:50:27.000
<v Speaker 3>You know when you go out and you just leave,

0:50:27.280 --> 0:50:29.920
<v Speaker 3>you leave like the white bit like here and like here, Nah,

0:50:29.960 --> 0:50:32.640
<v Speaker 3>I fake tan my tits. I was ready. So we

0:50:32.760 --> 0:50:34.120
<v Speaker 3>rocked up at the house and with two of my

0:50:34.160 --> 0:50:36.239
<v Speaker 3>best friends. We rocked up at the house and it

0:50:36.360 --> 0:50:38.840
<v Speaker 3>was very chill. I was expecting like a gimp masks

0:50:38.840 --> 0:50:40.440
<v Speaker 3>and like people pegging each other in the corner, but

0:50:40.520 --> 0:50:42.880
<v Speaker 3>it was not the case. It was like a cocktail event.

0:50:43.200 --> 0:50:45.720
<v Speaker 3>There were like drinks and nibbles and people like standing

0:50:45.719 --> 0:50:46.920
<v Speaker 3>around having conversation.

0:50:47.080 --> 0:50:48.880
<v Speaker 2>I mean, that was just that was the full play,

0:50:49.080 --> 0:50:49.479
<v Speaker 2>and so.

0:50:49.640 --> 0:50:51.000
<v Speaker 3>I met up with the guy that I knew and

0:50:51.120 --> 0:50:52.719
<v Speaker 3>I was like, all right, well when people are going

0:50:52.760 --> 0:50:55.440
<v Speaker 3>to start fucking, and he's like at nine pm, So

0:50:55.480 --> 0:50:58.359
<v Speaker 3>we kind of waited around for nine pm, and then

0:50:58.520 --> 0:51:00.839
<v Speaker 3>the girl that hosts the event basically like stood up

0:51:00.840 --> 0:51:03.040
<v Speaker 3>on a chair and told us that from now we

0:51:03.080 --> 0:51:06.400
<v Speaker 3>could take our clothes off and we could start engaging insects.

0:51:07.000 --> 0:51:09.760
<v Speaker 3>So there were lots of rules, lots of talk about consent,

0:51:10.239 --> 0:51:13.839
<v Speaker 3>enthusiastic consent and maybe isn't a yes, you know, there

0:51:13.880 --> 0:51:16.799
<v Speaker 3>was all of that was spoken about. Safe sex was

0:51:16.800 --> 0:51:20.480
<v Speaker 3>a muss, So there was condoms everywhere. No anal sex,

0:51:20.600 --> 0:51:23.640
<v Speaker 3>probably just because of cleanup. So it was her, well

0:51:23.760 --> 0:51:25.279
<v Speaker 3>I'm guessing it was her. I mean, I know it

0:51:25.320 --> 0:51:29.600
<v Speaker 3>was her place. She had like a three bedroom little

0:51:29.719 --> 0:51:32.120
<v Speaker 3>little house. One of the bedrooms was locked off, you

0:51:32.120 --> 0:51:34.080
<v Speaker 3>couldn't go in there, but the other two bedrooms were

0:51:34.120 --> 0:51:36.600
<v Speaker 3>basically just mattresses on the floor and like lots of

0:51:36.600 --> 0:51:39.759
<v Speaker 3>little three pillows and blankets around, and then there were

0:51:39.800 --> 0:51:41.759
<v Speaker 3>like couches that you could have sex on as well.

0:51:42.000 --> 0:51:44.000
<v Speaker 2>So how many people do you think were there in total?

0:51:44.320 --> 0:51:47.720
<v Speaker 3>I think probably like a good forty people.

0:51:48.160 --> 0:51:50.480
<v Speaker 1>That's a lot of people in a confined in like

0:51:50.520 --> 0:51:51.360
<v Speaker 1>a two bedroom.

0:51:51.520 --> 0:51:53.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it felt pretty crowded in like a small place.

0:51:53.960 --> 0:51:55.680
<v Speaker 3>So I reckon like a good forty people.

0:51:55.880 --> 0:51:59.360
<v Speaker 1>And so was there somebody or multiple people on the

0:51:59.440 --> 0:52:01.839
<v Speaker 1>initial meet up night at the bar that you had

0:52:01.880 --> 0:52:04.120
<v Speaker 1>your eye on and you thought, I'm actually interested in them? Like,

0:52:04.160 --> 0:52:07.480
<v Speaker 1>did you go in knowing what Pe and I you

0:52:07.480 --> 0:52:07.960
<v Speaker 1>were going for?

0:52:08.640 --> 0:52:10.120
<v Speaker 3>Not at all? Not at all. So I met some

0:52:10.200 --> 0:52:13.920
<v Speaker 3>really nice people at the event that weren't there at

0:52:13.960 --> 0:52:17.600
<v Speaker 3>the party. But then there was a couple that I

0:52:17.640 --> 0:52:19.680
<v Speaker 3>spoke to quite a bit and they were the couple

0:52:19.719 --> 0:52:20.919
<v Speaker 3>that I ended up having sex with.

0:52:21.200 --> 0:52:23.640
<v Speaker 2>And going to this party. So you said you arrived

0:52:23.640 --> 0:52:26.560
<v Speaker 2>with your friends, Like, how was that conversation and how

0:52:26.560 --> 0:52:28.640
<v Speaker 2>did that go down? I mean, you know, I think

0:52:28.680 --> 0:52:30.960
<v Speaker 2>like a lot of us have pretty open relationships and

0:52:31.000 --> 0:52:34.120
<v Speaker 2>conversations with our friends, but having conversations around sex and

0:52:34.160 --> 0:52:37.080
<v Speaker 2>being open in that regards is probably something that's unfamiliar

0:52:37.120 --> 0:52:39.160
<v Speaker 2>to a lot of people. What sort of relationship do

0:52:39.160 --> 0:52:41.359
<v Speaker 2>you have with your girlfriends? For that too, have been

0:52:41.480 --> 0:52:43.560
<v Speaker 2>something that was like cool, we're going to do this together.

0:52:43.640 --> 0:52:45.000
<v Speaker 1>Are you trying to ask me Laura, and you want

0:52:45.000 --> 0:52:46.480
<v Speaker 1>to know how to do it exactly.

0:52:47.400 --> 0:52:49.239
<v Speaker 3>So it was never it was never an issue for

0:52:49.320 --> 0:52:52.080
<v Speaker 3>us in our friendship group were very very open, Like

0:52:52.160 --> 0:52:54.440
<v Speaker 3>my best friend has literally pulled out a used condom

0:52:54.480 --> 0:52:56.359
<v Speaker 3>out of me because I thought my cervix was coming

0:52:56.360 --> 0:52:58.960
<v Speaker 3>out and she yanked it out and it was literally

0:52:58.960 --> 0:53:01.560
<v Speaker 3>a condom from tee days ago. So it wasn't an

0:53:01.760 --> 0:53:02.960
<v Speaker 3>It just wasn't an issue.

0:53:04.320 --> 0:53:06.560
<v Speaker 1>It's like a scene out of Sex in the City.

0:53:07.400 --> 0:53:09.400
<v Speaker 3>It was like life. I thought my cervix was falling

0:53:09.400 --> 0:53:11.040
<v Speaker 3>and she just gave it a yank. But no, it

0:53:11.120 --> 0:53:12.880
<v Speaker 3>was It was never an issue. It was always an

0:53:12.920 --> 0:53:15.719
<v Speaker 3>open conversation. She was so excited to be there. She

0:53:15.719 --> 0:53:18.680
<v Speaker 3>didn't necessarily want to have sex with anybody. She was

0:53:18.719 --> 0:53:21.240
<v Speaker 3>just kind of there to see if she was interested,

0:53:21.280 --> 0:53:22.800
<v Speaker 3>but she was. It was very much there to support

0:53:22.840 --> 0:53:23.319
<v Speaker 3>me as well.

0:53:23.640 --> 0:53:26.120
<v Speaker 1>I love that you thought and she thought it was

0:53:26.120 --> 0:53:28.319
<v Speaker 1>your cervix and you both still trying to pull it out,

0:53:28.360 --> 0:53:30.680
<v Speaker 1>like you probably shouldn't try to pull me your cervixt

0:53:30.760 --> 0:53:32.520
<v Speaker 1>like just a cervix prolaps.

0:53:32.960 --> 0:53:35.080
<v Speaker 2>So when you got there and all this was going down,

0:53:35.160 --> 0:53:38.080
<v Speaker 2>they've had they've had the initial like instructions around how

0:53:38.120 --> 0:53:41.320
<v Speaker 2>the night will unfold. How did you meet this couple.

0:53:41.400 --> 0:53:43.600
<v Speaker 2>Did you have a conversation with them first? Were you

0:53:43.680 --> 0:53:45.760
<v Speaker 2>just drawn into a room, like talk to me about

0:53:45.800 --> 0:53:48.960
<v Speaker 2>how you went from standing around having nibbles and cannapas

0:53:49.080 --> 0:53:51.000
<v Speaker 2>to having sex with a married couple.

0:53:51.880 --> 0:53:53.960
<v Speaker 3>So basically, a lot of people started to undress. A

0:53:54.000 --> 0:53:55.920
<v Speaker 3>lot of people walking around naked or just with like

0:53:55.920 --> 0:53:57.520
<v Speaker 3>a bra, and so I was just in like a

0:53:57.560 --> 0:54:00.200
<v Speaker 3>bra and undies and like knee high boots. I was

0:54:00.239 --> 0:54:02.120
<v Speaker 3>looking like a snack and I was really feeling myself

0:54:02.520 --> 0:54:05.759
<v Speaker 3>and I was just kind of walking like just just

0:54:05.800 --> 0:54:07.640
<v Speaker 3>walking around like doing a like trying to talk to

0:54:07.680 --> 0:54:09.880
<v Speaker 3>different people. It was very social. Everyone was there to

0:54:09.920 --> 0:54:12.040
<v Speaker 3>like have a chat and get to know you. And

0:54:12.080 --> 0:54:15.880
<v Speaker 3>then I spoke originally to the girl of the couple,

0:54:15.960 --> 0:54:18.640
<v Speaker 3>so it was male and female couple. I spoke originally

0:54:18.680 --> 0:54:20.120
<v Speaker 3>to the girl. She was really lovely. We had a

0:54:20.160 --> 0:54:22.440
<v Speaker 3>really great conversation. Her boyfriend at the time was actually

0:54:22.520 --> 0:54:25.399
<v Speaker 3>on the couch getting his dick sucked, because she was like, oh,

0:54:25.400 --> 0:54:27.879
<v Speaker 3>that's my boyfriend, and I was like, oh, okay, by

0:54:27.920 --> 0:54:30.680
<v Speaker 3>another girl, and so yes, I met her first and

0:54:30.719 --> 0:54:32.399
<v Speaker 3>then we had a really good chat. And then later

0:54:32.400 --> 0:54:33.879
<v Speaker 3>in the night I spoke to the two of them

0:54:33.920 --> 0:54:36.239
<v Speaker 3>together and it was just kind of small talk and

0:54:36.239 --> 0:54:38.120
<v Speaker 3>they were like, oh, you know, Becky, are you here

0:54:38.160 --> 0:54:40.640
<v Speaker 3>to like to have sex with anyone? And I was like, yeah,

0:54:40.719 --> 0:54:43.319
<v Speaker 3>maybe I am really interested. I just you know, don't know.

0:54:43.680 --> 0:54:45.359
<v Speaker 3>I'm just a bit nervous and I don't know who.

0:54:45.520 --> 0:54:47.960
<v Speaker 3>And they were like, would you like to come to

0:54:48.040 --> 0:54:50.200
<v Speaker 3>one of the rooms with us? It was really simple,

0:54:50.560 --> 0:54:52.600
<v Speaker 3>and I was just like yes, and they were like

0:54:52.640 --> 0:54:54.520
<v Speaker 3>are you sure? And I was like yes, and so

0:54:54.719 --> 0:54:55.239
<v Speaker 3>that was it.

0:54:55.719 --> 0:54:58.560
<v Speaker 1>And then how okay, I'm sorry, we are so invested

0:54:58.560 --> 0:55:00.520
<v Speaker 1>in this story because we have never gone to a

0:55:00.680 --> 0:55:03.080
<v Speaker 1>sex party. So I'm literally in this room with you,

0:55:03.160 --> 0:55:04.759
<v Speaker 1>like I am sitting I am was that guy in

0:55:04.800 --> 0:55:08.080
<v Speaker 1>the couch for a hole. Second, When you walk into

0:55:08.120 --> 0:55:11.960
<v Speaker 1>the room with a couple, who initiates that? And how

0:55:11.960 --> 0:55:14.840
<v Speaker 1>do you know who to go and kiss first and

0:55:14.960 --> 0:55:16.480
<v Speaker 1>start to have sex first? Do you go to the

0:55:16.480 --> 0:55:18.600
<v Speaker 1>guy first? Does he come to you? Does she come

0:55:18.600 --> 0:55:18.920
<v Speaker 1>to you?

0:55:19.280 --> 0:55:22.839
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? So basically she led me by the hand down

0:55:22.840 --> 0:55:25.960
<v Speaker 3>the hallway to the first room. There was already people say,

0:55:25.920 --> 0:55:28.160
<v Speaker 3>there was mattresses all over the floor, there were already

0:55:28.160 --> 0:55:30.920
<v Speaker 3>people having sex. There were maybe four people like engaged

0:55:30.960 --> 0:55:34.440
<v Speaker 3>in group sex. And before they entered the room, they said,

0:55:34.520 --> 0:55:36.879
<v Speaker 3>is it okay if we joined? So everything is very

0:55:36.880 --> 0:55:38.719
<v Speaker 3>You don't just jump next to someone and stuff fucking

0:55:38.719 --> 0:55:40.680
<v Speaker 3>next to them. You're like, is it okay if there's

0:55:40.719 --> 0:55:43.360
<v Speaker 3>somebody standing at the door watching you having a wank? Like,

0:55:43.440 --> 0:55:46.080
<v Speaker 3>they have to ask before they do that. So we

0:55:46.160 --> 0:55:48.040
<v Speaker 3>asked if we could go into the space. We asked

0:55:48.040 --> 0:55:50.279
<v Speaker 3>if we could go into the room, and then she

0:55:50.520 --> 0:55:52.799
<v Speaker 3>really led me, so she was the first one to

0:55:52.880 --> 0:55:55.560
<v Speaker 3>start kissing me, and then he was kind of watching.

0:55:55.600 --> 0:55:56.920
<v Speaker 3>So that's how it begun.

0:55:57.120 --> 0:55:59.680
<v Speaker 2>Up until this point. Had you ever had an experience

0:55:59.680 --> 0:56:01.040
<v Speaker 2>with her with a woman before?

0:56:01.200 --> 0:56:03.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? I have. I have. So I had been in

0:56:03.960 --> 0:56:07.280
<v Speaker 3>a relationship. I slept with like a couple of girls before,

0:56:07.320 --> 0:56:09.279
<v Speaker 3>and I've been in a relationship with a woman for

0:56:09.480 --> 0:56:12.600
<v Speaker 3>six years. And then we broke up and it was

0:56:12.800 --> 0:56:15.600
<v Speaker 3>very We just kind of became friends, and I was like, fuck,

0:56:15.600 --> 0:56:18.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm not attracted to women anymore. That's why it ended,

0:56:18.080 --> 0:56:20.680
<v Speaker 3>and so I very much went back to dating men,

0:56:21.120 --> 0:56:23.239
<v Speaker 3>and I think that's probably why none of my relationships

0:56:23.239 --> 0:56:25.200
<v Speaker 3>with men worked out in the end, but no, I

0:56:25.239 --> 0:56:27.239
<v Speaker 3>have I have been with women before.

0:56:27.400 --> 0:56:29.480
<v Speaker 1>And then okay, so you're making out with the girl,

0:56:29.760 --> 0:56:33.839
<v Speaker 1>then you start obviously hooking up with the husband and

0:56:34.000 --> 0:56:35.960
<v Speaker 1>does the wife just watch on?

0:56:36.320 --> 0:56:38.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, So there was lots of all of us together.

0:56:39.239 --> 0:56:41.320
<v Speaker 3>It was very much all about me, like I felt

0:56:41.440 --> 0:56:43.640
<v Speaker 3>I was literally the guest. I felt really good. There

0:56:43.719 --> 0:56:46.879
<v Speaker 3>was lots of compliments like you know when, oh, can

0:56:46.920 --> 0:56:49.120
<v Speaker 3>I and lots of asking can I take off your top?

0:56:49.200 --> 0:56:51.200
<v Speaker 3>Is it okay if I take off your bra I

0:56:51.239 --> 0:56:52.960
<v Speaker 3>took off my undies and the guy was like, You've

0:56:53.000 --> 0:56:55.439
<v Speaker 3>got the best box I've ever seen, and straight away

0:56:55.480 --> 0:56:57.520
<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh my god. Yeah, so lots of

0:56:57.600 --> 0:57:00.719
<v Speaker 3>confluence and you just feel so good. No one's called

0:57:00.719 --> 0:57:02.960
<v Speaker 3>it a box before, but anyway, you just feel so

0:57:03.960 --> 0:57:07.799
<v Speaker 3>You just feel so good and everything's very very consensual.

0:57:07.840 --> 0:57:10.319
<v Speaker 3>You feel very in control. So they ask you, is

0:57:10.320 --> 0:57:12.760
<v Speaker 3>there anything you like? I was like, yeah, like being Spanish,

0:57:12.800 --> 0:57:15.040
<v Speaker 3>like you can try that out, and you know, is

0:57:15.080 --> 0:57:17.040
<v Speaker 3>there anything you don't like? He asked to begin with,

0:57:17.160 --> 0:57:19.000
<v Speaker 3>is there anything you don't want to do? And I

0:57:19.040 --> 0:57:20.720
<v Speaker 3>basically said, yeah, I don't really want to put your

0:57:20.760 --> 0:57:22.520
<v Speaker 3>dick in my mouth, and he was like, all right,

0:57:22.880 --> 0:57:25.480
<v Speaker 3>so there was kind of nothing off limits. You know,

0:57:25.520 --> 0:57:27.360
<v Speaker 3>they were really happy to engage in anything. But if

0:57:27.400 --> 0:57:29.440
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to do anything, then that was totally

0:57:29.440 --> 0:57:30.040
<v Speaker 3>fine too.

0:57:30.240 --> 0:57:32.800
<v Speaker 2>So in terms of their relationship. And maybe you don't

0:57:32.840 --> 0:57:34.880
<v Speaker 2>have this insight, but I guess we've spoken to some

0:57:34.920 --> 0:57:39.080
<v Speaker 2>couples before who have had polyamorous or open relationships. Was

0:57:39.120 --> 0:57:41.840
<v Speaker 2>it obvious to you that they had any rules at

0:57:41.840 --> 0:57:44.120
<v Speaker 2>all between them or was it kind of a bit

0:57:44.160 --> 0:57:45.560
<v Speaker 2>of a free for all in that terms.

0:57:45.960 --> 0:57:47.560
<v Speaker 3>I think it was totally a free for all, to

0:57:47.560 --> 0:57:51.000
<v Speaker 3>be honest. So everything that he did to her, he

0:57:51.040 --> 0:57:53.200
<v Speaker 3>did to me. Like he went down to me, she'd

0:57:53.200 --> 0:57:54.680
<v Speaker 3>be going down to me while he was fucking me

0:57:54.760 --> 0:57:57.040
<v Speaker 3>from behind, Like it kind of just seems like there

0:57:57.080 --> 0:57:59.480
<v Speaker 3>was really nothing off limits. We were kissing. We also

0:57:59.480 --> 0:58:02.880
<v Speaker 3>were kissing the mouth, which I thought, maybe they won't

0:58:02.880 --> 0:58:04.600
<v Speaker 3>want to do that. I don't know, is that too intimate?

0:58:05.120 --> 0:58:09.200
<v Speaker 3>And the sex with the guy felt like quite intimate,

0:58:09.280 --> 0:58:11.360
<v Speaker 3>like how he was touching me and like getting really

0:58:11.360 --> 0:58:13.720
<v Speaker 3>close to me, And I was like, I don't know.

0:58:13.880 --> 0:58:15.800
<v Speaker 3>I guess for her that was fine. For me, that

0:58:15.840 --> 0:58:18.360
<v Speaker 3>felt like a bit too intimate for the setting that

0:58:18.440 --> 0:58:20.520
<v Speaker 3>I was in and from what I wanted from it,

0:58:20.840 --> 0:58:23.840
<v Speaker 3>But for them, I guess it's something that they're okay with.

0:58:24.080 --> 0:58:26.240
<v Speaker 1>So how did you feel when you left? You've broken

0:58:26.280 --> 0:58:29.439
<v Speaker 1>the cycle, it's been two long years, You've just had

0:58:29.680 --> 0:58:32.320
<v Speaker 1>group sex in front of a lot of people. How

0:58:32.320 --> 0:58:34.040
<v Speaker 1>did you walk away from that feeling?

0:58:34.800 --> 0:58:37.760
<v Speaker 3>I felt good. I felt really really good. I felt

0:58:37.800 --> 0:58:43.240
<v Speaker 3>really empowered. So basically it ended because she kind of

0:58:44.000 --> 0:58:46.160
<v Speaker 3>jumped into the next group, so as like a group

0:58:46.240 --> 0:58:48.040
<v Speaker 3>next to us having sex, and she kind of went

0:58:48.080 --> 0:58:50.400
<v Speaker 3>and joined them, and so I was left fucking the

0:58:50.440 --> 0:58:53.320
<v Speaker 3>guy and I was kind of like, h okay, like

0:58:53.400 --> 0:58:55.240
<v Speaker 3>I've kind of had enough now, Like once she was gone,

0:58:55.280 --> 0:58:57.880
<v Speaker 3>I kind of wasn't into it anymore. So I was like, oh,

0:58:58.000 --> 0:59:00.560
<v Speaker 3>I've had enough, and he was like, oh okay, and

0:59:00.600 --> 0:59:01.600
<v Speaker 3>so I just jumped off.

0:59:03.120 --> 0:59:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thanks, thanks, I'm done by I've gotten what I

0:59:06.280 --> 0:59:06.880
<v Speaker 1>came here for.

0:59:07.560 --> 0:59:09.440
<v Speaker 3>I've been three year celibate. I make the rules. I

0:59:09.480 --> 0:59:11.520
<v Speaker 3>was like, I had enough. So I just kind of

0:59:11.560 --> 0:59:13.480
<v Speaker 3>got off and was and I said thank you. I

0:59:13.520 --> 0:59:15.400
<v Speaker 3>was like, listen, this was an amazing experience. Thank you

0:59:15.480 --> 0:59:17.120
<v Speaker 3>so much. They also knew that I hadn't had sex

0:59:17.120 --> 0:59:19.040
<v Speaker 3>for two years. So they were like, yeah, good on you.

0:59:19.400 --> 0:59:22.560
<v Speaker 3>And then I kind of interrupted the girl as she

0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:24.880
<v Speaker 3>was fucking this other guy next to us, just to

0:59:24.920 --> 0:59:26.600
<v Speaker 3>say thank you to her. I was like, thank you

0:59:26.680 --> 0:59:28.600
<v Speaker 3>so much, and that was it.

0:59:28.800 --> 0:59:29.720
<v Speaker 1>She's been pounded.

0:59:29.800 --> 0:59:33.480
<v Speaker 3>She's like exactly, and that was it. And then I left.

0:59:33.520 --> 0:59:35.360
<v Speaker 3>I literally grabbed my girlfriends and I'm like let's go,

0:59:35.440 --> 0:59:37.360
<v Speaker 3>and I like put a coat on and we went

0:59:37.400 --> 0:59:40.000
<v Speaker 3>home and I felt like a million bucks. It was great.

0:59:40.480 --> 0:59:43.240
<v Speaker 2>So this experience, did you ever see or like, what

0:59:43.280 --> 0:59:45.200
<v Speaker 2>was the follow up with this couple? Do you keep

0:59:45.200 --> 0:59:48.160
<v Speaker 2>in contact? Do you have a conversation with them afterwards?

0:59:48.480 --> 0:59:50.040
<v Speaker 1>Just line into their Instagram DM?

0:59:50.400 --> 0:59:52.240
<v Speaker 3>Nothing. I don't have them on Instagram. I don't have

0:59:52.280 --> 0:59:54.520
<v Speaker 3>them on Facebook. So it's really I don't even know

0:59:54.560 --> 0:59:57.280
<v Speaker 3>their last name. I know their first names. That's it.

0:59:57.840 --> 1:00:00.320
<v Speaker 2>What an amazing experience. We've spoken to a couple of

1:00:00.360 --> 1:00:02.760
<v Speaker 2>people who have been to sex parties and like, it's

1:00:02.760 --> 1:00:05.240
<v Speaker 2>the unknown. It's this experience that so many of our

1:00:05.240 --> 1:00:08.600
<v Speaker 2>listeners are interested in and like want to be a

1:00:08.640 --> 1:00:11.760
<v Speaker 2>fly on the wall, but have never experienced it themselves. Now,

1:00:11.880 --> 1:00:14.240
<v Speaker 2>coming out of this and coming out of breaking the

1:00:14.280 --> 1:00:19.120
<v Speaker 2>celibacy draft, emotionally and also physically. What impact did that

1:00:19.160 --> 1:00:21.000
<v Speaker 2>have on you? How did that change you as a

1:00:21.000 --> 1:00:23.360
<v Speaker 2>person when you look back on those two years.

1:00:23.320 --> 1:00:26.000
<v Speaker 3>It changed everything. It gave me so much. It gave me,

1:00:26.360 --> 1:00:29.280
<v Speaker 3>you know, so much self love, so much self worth.

1:00:29.320 --> 1:00:31.680
<v Speaker 3>I did so much growth. And I think a lot

1:00:31.680 --> 1:00:34.600
<v Speaker 3>of people can do that, you know, having sex and

1:00:34.600 --> 1:00:36.680
<v Speaker 3>being in relationships and that's okay, and that's great, But

1:00:36.720 --> 1:00:39.160
<v Speaker 3>for me, I needed to completely be alone to do

1:00:39.200 --> 1:00:41.400
<v Speaker 3>the work. It also showed me that I can be alone,

1:00:41.400 --> 1:00:44.479
<v Speaker 3>and that's okay. I think is society has this choke

1:00:44.520 --> 1:00:46.480
<v Speaker 3>hold on us as women that we're just treading water

1:00:46.560 --> 1:00:48.640
<v Speaker 3>until we find somebody to love us. And it's really

1:00:48.640 --> 1:00:50.680
<v Speaker 3>sad and I think there's so much work to do there.

1:00:50.760 --> 1:00:52.680
<v Speaker 3>But for me, it changed the whole Like not to

1:00:52.720 --> 1:00:55.280
<v Speaker 3>be dramatic, but it honestly changed the whole trajectory of

1:00:55.280 --> 1:00:57.080
<v Speaker 3>my life. And I'm so grateful I did it.

1:00:57.360 --> 1:00:59.919
<v Speaker 1>So what age were you, Becky? What were the two years?

1:01:00.080 --> 1:01:02.080
<v Speaker 3>So I had gotten out of the relationship when I

1:01:02.160 --> 1:01:04.800
<v Speaker 3>was twenty seven and I was celibate until I was

1:01:04.960 --> 1:01:06.320
<v Speaker 3>twenty nine, Okay.

1:01:06.080 --> 1:01:11.440
<v Speaker 1>So happy thirty and okay, And did you a lot

1:01:11.480 --> 1:01:14.200
<v Speaker 1>of people say that there is this insane level of

1:01:14.320 --> 1:01:18.240
<v Speaker 1>clarity that they feel in their brain or their brain,

1:01:18.320 --> 1:01:20.320
<v Speaker 1>their mind, their body. But did you feel that? Did

1:01:20.320 --> 1:01:22.760
<v Speaker 1>you just feel like everything you looked at the world

1:01:22.800 --> 1:01:24.240
<v Speaker 1>differently and everything was so clear?

1:01:24.480 --> 1:01:28.480
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely? Absolutely, everything was so clear. There was no background noise,

1:01:28.560 --> 1:01:32.400
<v Speaker 3>there were no distractions. I just felt so so kind

1:01:32.440 --> 1:01:34.320
<v Speaker 3>of centered in what I was doing and what I

1:01:34.360 --> 1:01:36.720
<v Speaker 3>wanted to become and what I wanted to do. So yeah,

1:01:36.720 --> 1:01:40.120
<v Speaker 3>there was absolute just clarity and clearness there for sure.

1:01:40.440 --> 1:01:43.080
<v Speaker 2>Can I ask, as well, like, what impact now, now

1:01:43.080 --> 1:01:45.400
<v Speaker 2>that it's been some use moving on, since you've had

1:01:45.400 --> 1:01:49.840
<v Speaker 2>this experience, what impact has it had on your relationships

1:01:49.880 --> 1:01:51.480
<v Speaker 2>and on how you approach dating?

1:01:51.960 --> 1:01:54.520
<v Speaker 3>After the sex party, a couple of months after that,

1:01:54.560 --> 1:01:56.640
<v Speaker 3>I was ready to date, Like I literally just did

1:01:56.640 --> 1:01:58.760
<v Speaker 3>it and I was ready to go. So I went

1:01:58.960 --> 1:02:02.120
<v Speaker 3>and from that experience as well, you know, once I

1:02:02.160 --> 1:02:04.120
<v Speaker 3>realized that I enjoyed my time with the girl so

1:02:04.240 --> 1:02:07.280
<v Speaker 3>much more than the guy, I went on a lesbian

1:02:07.360 --> 1:02:10.840
<v Speaker 3>dating app and I met my girlfriend who I've now

1:02:11.000 --> 1:02:13.160
<v Speaker 3>been with for a couple of years, and we lived

1:02:13.160 --> 1:02:16.880
<v Speaker 3>together and we're very very happy, and I honestly don't

1:02:16.920 --> 1:02:20.360
<v Speaker 3>think I would have been the person that I am

1:02:20.720 --> 1:02:23.120
<v Speaker 3>to her and in this relationship, if I hadn't done

1:02:23.120 --> 1:02:26.280
<v Speaker 3>that work, I really just she's amazing. She brings so

1:02:26.360 --> 1:02:29.160
<v Speaker 3>much to the table. She's such a special person, and

1:02:29.240 --> 1:02:33.560
<v Speaker 3>our relationship is so wonderful because I'm such a secure together.

1:02:34.280 --> 1:02:36.320
<v Speaker 3>I've just got my shit sorted, and I think that's

1:02:36.320 --> 1:02:38.520
<v Speaker 3>what I attracted from there. I attracted someone who was

1:02:38.560 --> 1:02:39.320
<v Speaker 3>on the same level.

1:02:39.640 --> 1:02:42.840
<v Speaker 1>It's interesting that you from what you've said, obviously you've

1:02:42.880 --> 1:02:44.520
<v Speaker 1>dated both men and women in the past, but going

1:02:44.560 --> 1:02:46.280
<v Speaker 1>into that sex party and at that point of your

1:02:46.280 --> 1:02:50.280
<v Speaker 1>life at twenty seven, you were convinced that it wasn't

1:02:50.320 --> 1:02:52.480
<v Speaker 1>women you were attracted to anymore, it was men. That's

1:02:52.520 --> 1:02:55.960
<v Speaker 1>why your relationship with a woman died down. You went

1:02:56.040 --> 1:02:59.120
<v Speaker 1>into that sex party saying I'm into men, and you

1:02:59.240 --> 1:03:01.560
<v Speaker 1>left that sex part you thinking I'm into women. Do

1:03:01.600 --> 1:03:03.800
<v Speaker 1>you actually think that that was a defining moment in

1:03:03.840 --> 1:03:05.600
<v Speaker 1>your change of trajectory.

1:03:05.960 --> 1:03:08.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was the defining moment. If I got anything

1:03:08.800 --> 1:03:11.560
<v Speaker 3>out of that other than just ripping the band aid

1:03:11.600 --> 1:03:13.840
<v Speaker 3>off and finally getting a fuck from two years, it

1:03:13.880 --> 1:03:16.880
<v Speaker 3>was that I realized that this is why things haven't

1:03:16.880 --> 1:03:19.040
<v Speaker 3>worked out with men. This is why I seek toxic

1:03:19.120 --> 1:03:22.800
<v Speaker 3>shit men because I'm not into them being in a

1:03:22.840 --> 1:03:25.400
<v Speaker 3>relationship with them. It has to be toxic if I'm

1:03:25.400 --> 1:03:27.360
<v Speaker 3>in a relationship with them, because otherwise I'm really not

1:03:27.400 --> 1:03:30.400
<v Speaker 3>that interested. Whereas I'm in this relationship with a woman

1:03:30.520 --> 1:03:33.400
<v Speaker 3>and it's really sometimes it's really boring, and it's really comforting,

1:03:33.440 --> 1:03:35.480
<v Speaker 3>and it's really wonderful and it's just the best thing ever,

1:03:35.600 --> 1:03:37.920
<v Speaker 3>because well, you know, I like when she takes her

1:03:37.920 --> 1:03:40.280
<v Speaker 3>clothes off, like she's she's a girl. That's what I'm into.

1:03:40.560 --> 1:03:41.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Like, I just got a bit lost for a

1:03:41.840 --> 1:03:42.480
<v Speaker 1>little while there.

1:03:42.600 --> 1:03:44.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And why do you think that is? Why do

1:03:45.040 --> 1:03:47.280
<v Speaker 2>you think you like, I mean, why do you think

1:03:47.280 --> 1:03:48.840
<v Speaker 2>that you kind of got to a point where you

1:03:48.880 --> 1:03:51.640
<v Speaker 2>were like, oh no, maybe it's men, Like what was

1:03:51.680 --> 1:03:54.200
<v Speaker 2>it that kind of pushed you towards that at one

1:03:54.200 --> 1:03:55.040
<v Speaker 2>point in your life?

1:03:55.200 --> 1:03:56.480
<v Speaker 3>So I think it was a lot of things. I

1:03:56.560 --> 1:03:58.680
<v Speaker 3>think the first thing was at this relationship that I

1:03:58.720 --> 1:04:00.800
<v Speaker 3>was with my ex girlfriend will together for six years

1:04:00.840 --> 1:04:02.960
<v Speaker 3>and it just kind of died out and we stopped

1:04:02.960 --> 1:04:07.960
<v Speaker 3>having sex, and I misinterpreted my lack of attraction for

1:04:08.040 --> 1:04:11.560
<v Speaker 3>that particular relationship for what I was like forever, Oh,

1:04:11.840 --> 1:04:13.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to have sex with her. Therefore I

1:04:13.680 --> 1:04:16.280
<v Speaker 3>don't want to have sex with another woman again. And

1:04:16.360 --> 1:04:17.960
<v Speaker 3>it was also I think I've got a lot of

1:04:18.000 --> 1:04:21.240
<v Speaker 3>internalized homophobia, which is really weird as a lesbian to

1:04:21.280 --> 1:04:23.680
<v Speaker 3>say that I've got internalized homophobia, but I definitely do.

1:04:23.800 --> 1:04:26.880
<v Speaker 3>I always pictured I grew up in a very traditional family.

1:04:26.960 --> 1:04:29.160
<v Speaker 3>I always pictured my life with a man. I always

1:04:29.160 --> 1:04:31.520
<v Speaker 3>pictured getting married and having children, and everything was just

1:04:31.560 --> 1:04:34.760
<v Speaker 3>so much harder as a lesbian, and that was something

1:04:34.800 --> 1:04:36.959
<v Speaker 3>that maybe I wasn't ready to face yet, and maybe

1:04:36.960 --> 1:04:38.560
<v Speaker 3>that was part of the work that I ended up doing.

1:04:38.920 --> 1:04:41.520
<v Speaker 1>I think it's also just a journey. That's what dating is,

1:04:41.560 --> 1:04:43.480
<v Speaker 1>and that's what growing up is. It's a journey to

1:04:43.480 --> 1:04:45.240
<v Speaker 1>find out who you are and what you like, and

1:04:45.280 --> 1:04:47.760
<v Speaker 1>there's you know, it's a different road for a lot

1:04:47.800 --> 1:04:50.640
<v Speaker 1>of people. For you, you took you a little bit longer,

1:04:50.680 --> 1:04:52.760
<v Speaker 1>and you went around in circles, and you went around

1:04:52.840 --> 1:04:54.800
<v Speaker 1>a few sex parties, but you got there in the end.

1:04:55.240 --> 1:04:57.920
<v Speaker 1>Have you done a sex party again or would you

1:04:57.960 --> 1:04:59.760
<v Speaker 1>and your partner be involved in that or are you

1:04:59.840 --> 1:05:02.040
<v Speaker 1>very you very happy in your closed relationship?

1:05:02.360 --> 1:05:04.280
<v Speaker 3>No, so I didn't do it again. When I was single.

1:05:04.320 --> 1:05:06.400
<v Speaker 3>Once I'd done it, I'd just done I got everything

1:05:06.440 --> 1:05:07.720
<v Speaker 3>I needed out it, But I didn't need to do

1:05:07.760 --> 1:05:10.680
<v Speaker 3>it again and make your friend. We would never she

1:05:10.760 --> 1:05:17.200
<v Speaker 3>would literally rather die.

1:05:12.400 --> 1:05:20.360
<v Speaker 2>So honestly, thank you so much. Like we absolutely love

1:05:20.440 --> 1:05:22.960
<v Speaker 2>speaking to people from our own community and being able

1:05:23.040 --> 1:05:25.720
<v Speaker 2>to just have these conversations to share them with everybody

1:05:25.720 --> 1:05:28.680
<v Speaker 2>else who's listening. Like, your story is so unique, and

1:05:28.920 --> 1:05:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I love that you reached out. I love that you

1:05:30.560 --> 1:05:32.320
<v Speaker 2>were so vulnerable and wanting to share it with us,

1:05:32.440 --> 1:05:34.520
<v Speaker 2>And I just I can't thank you enough for coming

1:05:34.520 --> 1:05:35.640
<v Speaker 2>and being a part of the podcast.

1:05:36.000 --> 1:05:37.560
<v Speaker 3>Thank you so much for having me. It was an

1:05:37.560 --> 1:05:38.400
<v Speaker 3>absolute pleasure.

1:05:38.720 --> 1:05:41.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm literally so enthralled, and I have so many questions.

1:05:41.520 --> 1:05:44.880
<v Speaker 3>It's like these bombing stickers out girls, get the producer,

1:05:45.440 --> 1:05:45.960
<v Speaker 3>get some of those.

1:05:45.960 --> 1:05:48.680
<v Speaker 2>We've seen the bugs coming that will be available online

1:05:48.680 --> 1:05:49.320
<v Speaker 2>in six months.

1:05:49.400 --> 1:05:49.640
<v Speaker 3>Guys.

1:05:49.760 --> 1:05:52.560
<v Speaker 1>No, that was actually like I really really genuinely loved

1:05:52.600 --> 1:05:54.560
<v Speaker 1>that chat, and I know there'll be so many people

1:05:54.600 --> 1:05:56.560
<v Speaker 1>now that will get something from that. Whether that is

1:05:56.600 --> 1:05:57.880
<v Speaker 1>people that want to go to a sex party you

1:05:57.880 --> 1:05:59.400
<v Speaker 1>don't know how where that's people that are out of

1:05:59.400 --> 1:06:02.400
<v Speaker 1>a toxic release, people wanting to just have some time alone,

1:06:02.440 --> 1:06:04.440
<v Speaker 1>not have sex for a little while. I just think

1:06:04.440 --> 1:06:07.400
<v Speaker 1>there's so much in that. So I really am genuinely

1:06:07.520 --> 1:06:09.120
<v Speaker 1>so stoked you slid into our DMS.

1:06:09.240 --> 1:06:11.000
<v Speaker 3>Oh I'm so glad. Thank you.

1:06:11.440 --> 1:06:12.800
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I was gonna let you go, but

1:06:12.840 --> 1:06:15.040
<v Speaker 2>I want to ask one more thing now, because the

1:06:15.080 --> 1:06:16.600
<v Speaker 2>thing that I really take from this is like, for

1:06:16.680 --> 1:06:19.480
<v Speaker 2>anybody who wants to take some time and be celibate

1:06:19.520 --> 1:06:21.240
<v Speaker 2>but feels like they're going to miss out, you know,

1:06:21.280 --> 1:06:23.640
<v Speaker 2>it feels like they're going to be left behind. Did

1:06:23.680 --> 1:06:27.400
<v Speaker 2>your friends or did anybody in your close network judge

1:06:27.400 --> 1:06:29.880
<v Speaker 2>you for wanting to be like, you know what, I'm

1:06:29.920 --> 1:06:32.200
<v Speaker 2>completely not going to have sex for a while, And like,

1:06:32.240 --> 1:06:34.200
<v Speaker 2>once you got to the one point five year mark,

1:06:34.600 --> 1:06:37.280
<v Speaker 2>was anybody in your friendship group a bit like press you?

1:06:37.400 --> 1:06:39.920
<v Speaker 2>Was there any sort of judgment that came from people

1:06:39.920 --> 1:06:40.680
<v Speaker 2>in your network?

1:06:41.120 --> 1:06:43.920
<v Speaker 3>I think to begin with, everybody kind of thought it

1:06:43.960 --> 1:06:46.000
<v Speaker 3>was a bit of a joke. And then yeah, time

1:06:46.040 --> 1:06:48.480
<v Speaker 3>went on and they realized I was taking it really seriously.

1:06:48.880 --> 1:06:54.120
<v Speaker 3>People closest to me, I think, really understood and were

1:06:54.160 --> 1:06:56.360
<v Speaker 3>really happy for me and really proud of me and

1:06:56.440 --> 1:06:58.080
<v Speaker 3>you that I needed to do some work and that

1:06:58.120 --> 1:06:59.919
<v Speaker 3>it was about time, and you know that were really

1:07:00.120 --> 1:07:02.640
<v Speaker 3>that were really supporting that. But then yeah, once it

1:07:02.680 --> 1:07:04.840
<v Speaker 3>got probably past the one mark, I think some of

1:07:04.880 --> 1:07:06.720
<v Speaker 3>my friends, maybe not to my face, but maybe they

1:07:06.760 --> 1:07:09.400
<v Speaker 3>were just just some you know, kind discussions behind my back,

1:07:09.480 --> 1:07:11.000
<v Speaker 3>like is this bitch I'm going to have sex? Guess

1:07:11.000 --> 1:07:13.400
<v Speaker 3>you're gonna be alone forever? Like they were probably panicking,

1:07:13.520 --> 1:07:17.040
<v Speaker 3>But no, honestly, it was support all around, and I

1:07:17.080 --> 1:07:18.439
<v Speaker 3>feel really grateful for that.

1:07:18.600 --> 1:07:22.480
<v Speaker 2>Amazing Becky Thaki, thank you so much. I've loved chatting

1:07:22.560 --> 1:07:23.040
<v Speaker 2>to today.

1:07:23.160 --> 1:07:23.920
<v Speaker 1>Thanks legend.

1:07:24.120 --> 1:07:26.600
<v Speaker 3>I have loved it too, Thank you so much. Girls.

1:07:27.080 --> 1:07:29.760
<v Speaker 1>This week, I think, for very obvious reasons, we are

1:07:29.800 --> 1:07:32.040
<v Speaker 1>not going to do our suck because I think us

1:07:32.040 --> 1:07:35.640
<v Speaker 1>suck is the same as firstly everyone in Australia that

1:07:35.760 --> 1:07:39.280
<v Speaker 1>is experiencing the flooding, but secondly everybody in the world

1:07:39.400 --> 1:07:43.040
<v Speaker 1>that is experiencing what is happening between Russia and Ukraine.

1:07:43.120 --> 1:07:45.760
<v Speaker 1>So we are not doing a suck today. But I

1:07:45.800 --> 1:07:48.120
<v Speaker 1>think we should end on a high, so we will

1:07:48.120 --> 1:07:51.040
<v Speaker 1>do our suite. It's important to stay positive, So Laura,

1:07:51.200 --> 1:07:52.560
<v Speaker 1>what is your suite?

1:07:53.120 --> 1:07:55.520
<v Speaker 2>My sweet for the week is that I finally got

1:07:55.520 --> 1:07:59.080
<v Speaker 2>out my wedding invitations for round two ding Ding ding ding. Oh,

1:07:59.160 --> 1:08:01.480
<v Speaker 2>I said, but you didn't even know that you got it.

1:08:01.520 --> 1:08:02.960
<v Speaker 1>I had to tell you to check your emails, and

1:08:03.000 --> 1:08:04.920
<v Speaker 1>looking out three thousands already emails.

1:08:06.160 --> 1:08:08.720
<v Speaker 2>I love, love that we run a business together. How

1:08:08.760 --> 1:08:12.240
<v Speaker 2>many of I got more? Let's trust trust. I sent

1:08:12.320 --> 1:08:15.640
<v Speaker 2>out yesterday the invitations for our wedding, which means that

1:08:15.680 --> 1:08:18.680
<v Speaker 2>it's absolutely definitely happening again. Things crossed. Nothing comes in

1:08:18.680 --> 1:08:19.759
<v Speaker 2>the way it's happening.

1:08:19.800 --> 1:08:21.800
<v Speaker 1>I know we said we're not allowed to project, but

1:08:21.880 --> 1:08:24.599
<v Speaker 1>I'm projecting your wedding will happen this year one hundred.

1:08:24.800 --> 1:08:26.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm calling it now, I'm telling the universe.

1:08:26.280 --> 1:08:27.920
<v Speaker 2>And it was really nice. It's been one of those

1:08:27.920 --> 1:08:30.200
<v Speaker 2>things that I've been putting off again, Like I think

1:08:30.200 --> 1:08:32.240
<v Speaker 2>maybe I've had a bit of anxiety about planning it

1:08:32.280 --> 1:08:34.479
<v Speaker 2>because it was canceled last year and everything was so

1:08:34.640 --> 1:08:36.720
<v Speaker 2>up in the air. But like I finally feel really

1:08:36.760 --> 1:08:39.240
<v Speaker 2>good about it now and like we've got most of

1:08:39.280 --> 1:08:42.559
<v Speaker 2>the things in place and it is happening later this year.

1:08:42.600 --> 1:08:45.519
<v Speaker 1>You can't well, bloody wait, I am going to burn

1:08:45.560 --> 1:08:46.679
<v Speaker 1>some holes in that deep floor.

1:08:46.960 --> 1:08:49.680
<v Speaker 2>We will no longer be living in sin put it

1:08:49.680 --> 1:08:51.559
<v Speaker 2>that way, Mattie, Jay and me we tying the not.

1:08:52.400 --> 1:08:56.080
<v Speaker 1>My sweet is, my sister Sherry is getting married as well.

1:08:56.120 --> 1:08:58.240
<v Speaker 1>She's actually getting married before you, Laura. Not to rub

1:08:58.280 --> 1:09:02.720
<v Speaker 1>that in, but literally she's kidd every single person who

1:09:02.760 --> 1:09:03.760
<v Speaker 1>got engaged after me is.

1:09:04.120 --> 1:09:06.479
<v Speaker 2>I see all these influences all the time. They're like, oh,

1:09:06.800 --> 1:09:08.880
<v Speaker 2>getting married, going for my dress fitting. I'm like, you

1:09:08.920 --> 1:09:12.280
<v Speaker 2>got engaged three months ago. We got engaged three years ago.

1:09:12.560 --> 1:09:14.440
<v Speaker 1>It's not comparable. You are very disorganized.

1:09:14.520 --> 1:09:17.080
<v Speaker 2>We got engaged three years ago and we're still not married.

1:09:17.160 --> 1:09:19.679
<v Speaker 2>That's inside And sometimes I wonder why these like rude

1:09:19.720 --> 1:09:21.800
<v Speaker 2>trolls write me messages every so often and are like,

1:09:21.880 --> 1:09:23.600
<v Speaker 2>you're never going to get married. He's never going to

1:09:23.600 --> 1:09:25.280
<v Speaker 2>marry you. It's because we've been engaged for three years.

1:09:25.280 --> 1:09:27.200
<v Speaker 2>They legitimately think he's never going to marry me.

1:09:27.520 --> 1:09:29.400
<v Speaker 1>Well, my sweet is. She flew down from the Gold

1:09:29.400 --> 1:09:31.200
<v Speaker 1>Coast this weekend. We went wait in Joe shopping. We

1:09:31.240 --> 1:09:32.760
<v Speaker 1>had a really nice we stayed in the city. We

1:09:32.800 --> 1:09:34.960
<v Speaker 1>had a really nice weekend. We went had to dinner, drinks,

1:09:35.000 --> 1:09:37.000
<v Speaker 1>had a lot of fun. And I sat there watching

1:09:37.040 --> 1:09:39.800
<v Speaker 1>her in her wedding dress and I may or may

1:09:39.920 --> 1:09:41.280
<v Speaker 1>not have teared up, and she I don't even think

1:09:41.280 --> 1:09:42.960
<v Speaker 1>she's found the one yet, but I still got emotional,

1:09:43.000 --> 1:09:44.320
<v Speaker 1>so I can't imagine what it's going to be like

1:09:44.320 --> 1:09:46.719
<v Speaker 1>on the day. There's also a part where she's always

1:09:46.880 --> 1:09:48.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, she's thirty, but she's always going to be

1:09:48.720 --> 1:09:51.240
<v Speaker 1>my little sister, and everyone that has a younger sibling

1:09:51.600 --> 1:09:53.800
<v Speaker 1>they know that feeling like it doesn't matter how old

1:09:53.840 --> 1:09:55.720
<v Speaker 1>they get, it's not old enough. I still look at

1:09:55.760 --> 1:09:57.680
<v Speaker 1>her as like a sixteen year old, but she's like, bro,

1:09:57.800 --> 1:09:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm thirty, Like, let me have sex, and okay if

1:09:59.760 --> 1:10:02.840
<v Speaker 1>you have so weird. But you know, when you think

1:10:02.920 --> 1:10:04.920
<v Speaker 1>of when I thought of her getting married and like

1:10:05.000 --> 1:10:07.040
<v Speaker 1>having kids and stuff like that, I'm like, how are

1:10:07.040 --> 1:10:08.120
<v Speaker 1>you old enough to do that?

1:10:08.240 --> 1:10:09.040
<v Speaker 2>But she's thirty.

1:10:09.160 --> 1:10:11.080
<v Speaker 1>But when you're and I guess that's what it's like

1:10:11.120 --> 1:10:13.759
<v Speaker 1>for parents. I think parents would look at their kids

1:10:14.000 --> 1:10:15.840
<v Speaker 1>and think, how is my child old enough to be

1:10:15.880 --> 1:10:17.800
<v Speaker 1>doing that? Because you always hold on to the fact that,

1:10:17.880 --> 1:10:18.960
<v Speaker 1>like they're these little babies.

1:10:19.000 --> 1:10:20.439
<v Speaker 2>And I think it's different as well when you're like

1:10:20.439 --> 1:10:22.240
<v Speaker 2>the older sibling and you've always kind of.

1:10:22.200 --> 1:10:23.080
<v Speaker 1>Like you're not married either.

1:10:23.360 --> 1:10:25.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh maybe maybe maybe there's like a point of comparison there,

1:10:25.920 --> 1:10:28.439
<v Speaker 2>like when you're at different stages in life, you're like, oh,

1:10:28.520 --> 1:10:30.240
<v Speaker 2>you're doing that, okay, cool, We're gonna go on your

1:10:30.320 --> 1:10:30.800
<v Speaker 2>dress for me.

1:10:30.960 --> 1:10:32.880
<v Speaker 1>So that it was pretty fun. I mean I had

1:10:32.880 --> 1:10:35.320
<v Speaker 1>a laugh, of course, but I was sitting in you know,

1:10:35.439 --> 1:10:38.120
<v Speaker 1>it's such a big fancy event. Everything's quiet when you

1:10:38.160 --> 1:10:40.120
<v Speaker 1>try and wedding dresses on. Sherry's in a wedding dress

1:10:40.160 --> 1:10:41.960
<v Speaker 1>and she's on that little platform looking at herself in

1:10:42.000 --> 1:10:44.080
<v Speaker 1>the mirror, and the girl comes up to me and

1:10:44.120 --> 1:10:46.640
<v Speaker 1>she's like, so, Brittany, are you married? And I was like,

1:10:47.000 --> 1:10:49.719
<v Speaker 1>too soon, girl, it is too soon. We're not talking

1:10:49.720 --> 1:10:51.479
<v Speaker 1>about it. Shardon's like, let's move on.

1:10:51.560 --> 1:10:52.880
<v Speaker 2>It's just like every don't want to laugh.

1:10:52.880 --> 1:10:54.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean you have to. If you don't laugh, your

1:10:54.840 --> 1:10:58.840
<v Speaker 1>cry yeah okay, I feel like it's always too soon,

1:10:58.920 --> 1:11:01.799
<v Speaker 1>but like yes, really if you don't laugh, your cracker anyway.

1:11:01.840 --> 1:11:04.759
<v Speaker 2>That is it from us, guys, another episode, Done and dusted.

1:11:04.840 --> 1:11:07.200
<v Speaker 2>If you love the episode, jump onto Apple Podcast leave

1:11:07.240 --> 1:11:09.240
<v Speaker 2>us a review. You can also join the Facebook group,

1:11:09.240 --> 1:11:11.680
<v Speaker 2>which is a Life Uncut discussion group, and that is

1:11:11.680 --> 1:11:13.840
<v Speaker 2>where all the down and dirty stuff goes down.

1:11:14.120 --> 1:11:15.880
<v Speaker 1>Don't forget to tell your mum, tell your dad, tell

1:11:15.920 --> 1:11:18.240
<v Speaker 1>you Doug, tell your friends and share the love because

1:11:18.600 --> 1:11:19.479
<v Speaker 1>we love love