WEBVTT - How to deal with difficult relatives 😅 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.160 I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:06.600 land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:10.520 Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:14.319 and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:22.680 Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:30.240 and this is the Rise and Conquer podcast. This is 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:33.199 the podcast where we ch have mindset, self development and 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:37.159 becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:40.360 plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:43.800 and being among Think of us as the perfect combo 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:47.479 of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:49.839 matter where you are in your journey, we're here to 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:53.800 help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:58.480 self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:01.200 seat of your own life and stop letting life pass 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:10.200 you by, then you're in the right placed. 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:15.400 Hey everyone, Happy Tuesday, and welcome back to the podcast. 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:19.399 Today we have a fun at with Coop. He is 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.920 actually chatting to us about how you can deal with 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:26.360 being around family members or relatives that maybe don't agree 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:29.600 with you or a little bit difficult. We thought now 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.280 would be the perfect time for an episode like this, 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:36.760 seeing as it's almost silly season and often the holidays 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:39.080 are a time where you have to be around relatives 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:43.160 that may not necessarily align with your values. It also 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.240 has been a bit of a running theme in our 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:48.320 hotline question inbox and in the Facebook group, with a 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:52.080 lot of people not knowing how to set energetic boundaries 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:55.440 when it comes to their own family or even sometimes 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:59.000 their partner's family. So we know you're going to absolutely 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:02.160 love this episode. Coop has such valuable tips for us. 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:05.360 Just a quick reminder as well, if you're listening to 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.560 this episode in real time, our eleven eleven sail is 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:12.760 currently on, which is thirty percent off almost everything on 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:16.360 our website, including our courses. So if you've had your 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:18.360 eye on something, or know that you're going to be 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:20.760 wanting to do a little New Year's reset or some 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:24.320 self development in the new year, or even just before 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:26.680 the new year starts, then now is the time to 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:30.360 hop on. Because you do get lifetime access, you also 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:33.120 get instant access, so we'll pop the link in show 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:36.040 notes for you all. But before we get into it, 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:40.080 we'll just do our weekly recommendations. Cooper do you have 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:42.600 a recommendation for the RNC van. 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:47.799 Hello. Everyone. My recommendation, which I have been doing for 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:53.160 the last six months maybe a bit more, is having 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:58.880 a sauna, and then do you do the sauna first 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.320 to do that? Yeah, I got a sauna at home 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:04.839 and I bought an ice bath as well, so I'll 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:08.600 do a sauna on the days I'm not going to gym. Yeah, 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:12.480 it's neared work, and then I'll yeah, just jump in 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:15.000 there for twenty minutes and then do an ice bath 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:16.680 and I am ready. 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:17.880 Oh my gosh. 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:21.480 Do you do it in the morning, yeah? Usually yeah, yeah, 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:24.839 And that just just sets me up. And the way 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:26.839 I think about it is, if I can do this, 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:32.720 I can do anything. That's such a painful ice baths 0:03:32.840 --> 0:03:35.560 but yeah, very beneficial and I love them. 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:37.440 That is a really good thing to do in the morning. 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:42.600 I might give it go maybe just disorder, though maybe 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:47.280 not the Icelan. My recommendation is at TV show I 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:50.560 started watching on the weekend. It's called The Buccaneers. It's 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:54.480 on Apple TV. And if you liked Bridgeton, you'll love this, 0:03:54.920 --> 0:04:03.040 So give it a code. Let's get into the episode. 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:08.360 Hi Cooper, Hello, what are we learning? Today. 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:12.440 I would like to bring forth something that can help. 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:14.840 But he did say that to me, which I didn't 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:17.839 really realize. But coming up to holiday season, we're going 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:24.240 to be around family members and that can be really tricky. Yes, 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:28.200 definitely know what that is. And I've been through it 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.080 all as well as I'm guessing everyone else has too. 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:35.400 And to get a better help in this time, it'd 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:37.880 be great. And I wish I had this help, sir. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.520 I thought it'd be a cool thing to talk about. 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:43.760 Yeah, I'm really excited to learn this cool. I think 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:46.480 everyone has that like family member that they kind of 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:50.760 avoid but they need to sort of spend time with, 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:52.440 but you want to protect your own energy at the 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:53.000 same time. 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:57.920 So yeah, there's always a few I reckon because if 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.000 you've got a partner to go to a two families 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:04.720 and then there's double and yeah, it's just so yeah. 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:08.760 So I'd like to jump in and start straight away. 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:17.000 Is it starts from the closest relationship and that is yourself. 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:20.640 Everything starts as I always say to you that it 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:24.920 starts from yourself, and I like to I did get 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:27.279 this from a book and I'm just putting in my 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:30.839 own words. Just so, Yeah, that I'm bringing it out. 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:35.760 But your family, it starts in your mind, Like whatever 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:39.719 you portray your family in your mind, like, that's what 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:42.360 you're going to get because we do when we think 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:45.720 about everything in our heads, and that's where it starts. 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:50.760 So that's where we're going to start. And for an example, 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:55.600 if you think of an annoying relative, that's what you're 0:05:55.600 --> 0:06:01.839 going to get. Like if you're some uncle reefs, is 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:09.880 that they're actually if he's annoying or her whoever, whoever's annoying, 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:13.440 you're going to go into that family gathering and you're 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.359 going to be annoyed from them already because that's what's 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:17.239 in your head. 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.480 You've like preempted them annoying you. 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:24.120 Yeah. Yeah. And if someone gets really angry or loud 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:26.479 and you're like, I don't want to go though because 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:29.920 they're just so angry and loud, and that's what you're 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:32.800 going to get because your mind is everything and that's 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:37.599 where it starts. WHOA, So before you go to the 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.320 plant you're gathering, so and see your family, have a 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:43.200 little think of what annoys you or what you get 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:47.240 angry with, and think about those people and try and 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:51.599 change how you think about them, which is hard because 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:55.560 we're dealing with triggers and all sorts of stuff. So, 0:06:55.680 --> 0:07:00.240 like it starts with yourself. And usually I believe that 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:04.359 when someone triggers you, it's because you don't really like 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:06.960 it in yourself, so it's hard to get rid of that. 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:13.080 But coming into the gathering with your intentions, that all right, 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:16.520 So it starts with your intentions going into the gathering, 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:22.880 so trying to change those annoyances and anger and irritations 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:27.600 to how can I bring kindness and inner peace into 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:31.320 the relationship, or like your intentions going into the place 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:34.000 you're going to go to, and when you start with that, 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:36.920 like they're your clear intentions when you go into it, 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:40.120 and then so like when you go in and it happens, 0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:42.880 because like it's hard to do all this stuff straight up, 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.480 And yeah, I like to point out that this might 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:48.760 take a while. It might do little bits and pieces, 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:52.160 and each step, each gathering, you'll do one more and 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:53.920 then it'll get better and better. 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.000 So is it almost like before you even go to 0:07:57.120 --> 0:07:59.880 like say the lunch or dinner whatever it is, you go, 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:03.280 uncle Rufus has not going to annoy me today? Yeah, 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:06.160 or like do you even go one step further, I'm 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:08.600 gonna have a great conversation with uncle Rufus. 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:12.520 Yep, you can do that. And when he does his 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:16.160 normal thing, try and a few little tools I like 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:19.120 to do is take a few like if you can 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:22.160 do this quick enough, because you're supposed to do like 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:24.880 three deep breaths and calm your nervous system before you 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:27.120 get triggered. But try and do it as fast as 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:31.320 you can, even wine breath. Just go and then look 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:37.640 at that person and look for like love, where where 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:40.480 can you see the love? And love him for being 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:45.000 who he is? And then like it starts starts from there. 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:48.719 And then all right, let's start with some little role 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:52.560 plays and some tools that I like to use in 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:57.840 these instances come across. And so you're at a family 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:03.440 gathering and your come across that person that is annoying 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:07.960 or angry, and a few of the things. One little 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:11.160 thing I like to do is take a few deep breaths, 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:12.920 if you got to do a bit faster, to take 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:16.800 one deep breath and calm your nervous system down. And 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:22.280 like they're not there to annoy you. As I said before, 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:25.240 it's in your head that they're annoying. You. So if 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:29.559 you try and change that too, I love that person 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:34.760 for doing that, and how can I like why? I 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.319 like to always think why they are? Why are they 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.640 doing what they're doing? Like there's got to be a reason. 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:45.400 So instead of getting triggered, because that's our ego when 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:50.520 something gets us, that's our ego saying hey, don't like that, 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:53.040 and it's to say no, it's all right, thank you, 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:57.160 I've got this, and try and look to that person 0:09:57.320 --> 0:10:01.840 and say, like what's going on? Like why are you? 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:04.240 Why are you angry at this thing? Like why is 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:08.679 it getting you? Because you'll learn a lot more by 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:13.800 asking questions, not giving your to Bob's worth and your 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:17.280 advice to that person, try and understand where they're coming 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:22.319 from and go deeper with them. And yeah, because that's 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:28.560 why these cards that we've got out, the conversation cards awesome, 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.959 Like I use them a lot too. Go on along 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:36.160 those lines because you'll uncover what people are actually thinking 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:44.000 and like that whole dynamic of that relationship will change 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:46.800 once you want to, when you want to understand that 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:50.880 person and just come in it with love and kindness. 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:56.120 So I have a question, is it almost do you 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:59.480 love them for doing the thing that's annoying you, or 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.439 do you love them despite the fact they're. 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:04.840 Doing the thing that's annoying. You can do both. I 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:09.840 guess like, if you can like, why not why not 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:13.640 love them for either way? It doesn't matter because in 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:19.640 your mind, it's not annoying, it's you're just loving them 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:24.040 for who they are. And I am funny enough, this 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:27.120 happened to be on the weekend. We actually planned this 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.080 for a while ago, but it happened on the weekend. 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:33.400 And then I'll explain what happened with this family member 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:35.839 of mine. I'm not going to be the names. 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:40.920 Everyone know, but Captain anim. 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:47.640 Okay, So this person said, don't you want me on 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:52.360 your Instagram? Don't worry. I get the hint, and I 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:55.840 thought she was joking. So on my Instagram, I unfollowed 0:11:56.120 --> 0:12:00.200 everyone because I don't want to. I'm trying to a 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:03.160 social media cleanse. But then come back in it that 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.480 just not too much. So I just not followed everyone, 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.079 except if you have a few little people that I 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.439 just want to want to follow whose they don't put 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:18.520 much out. And then so this person got triggered, and yeah, 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.520 that person thought I didn't want I wanted to wipe 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:25.360 them out because that's what I did on Instagram. Oh 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:30.040 and because you know how that can happen with certain 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.200 people you don't want to follow them and then it 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:34.480 shows that you're not following them and they just think 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:35.679 you hate them. 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:36.959 Now, yeah, so. 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.360 That happened, and I was so confused because I was like, 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:46.480 is she is she being real? Or like is this 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:48.480 is this real? Like is she joking around? 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:49.120 And yeah? 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:54.120 So she wasn't joking around, and then she was very passive, 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:59.760 aggres aggressive, and so she said, I don't think you 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:02.720 were the only one rearranging your life. The past years 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.079 has been the hardest ones in my life, but I 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.679 would never wipe you. So it was like pretty hard, 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:12.120 and I was like, all right. So I didn't want 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.640 that to trigger me because I could have my ego 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:18.640 could have jumped up and said, I've deleted everyone. What 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:21.480 are you talking about? Like, how can you say that 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:24.520 to me? I don't wipe people like I'm a kind person. 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:28.440 So I could easily have said that because that's what 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:33.560 I believe. So I began and I said, what's going on? 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:38.400 Why are you feeling angry? And she said, because you 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:43.520 wipe me. That's why, and I said, so to deflate 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:47.400 the whole thing, I said, I'm sorry you feel like 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.560 I have wiped you. I apologize if that's what it 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.200 looks like. I would never want to wipe you out 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:56.600 of my life. I love you so much. I love 0:13:56.640 --> 0:14:00.280 the weird relationship we have. You must be on so 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:04.000 much pressure and stress. If you need any help, I'm 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:07.960 here for you. I hope you know that, oh heart. 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.040 So after that, instead of doing the ego thing and 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.480 I would have got a bad message, she said, well, 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:16.520 it does feel like that, and I'm not afraid to 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.760 tell you good because I love that we have a 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.520 laugh and be weird. I would never wipe you, even 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:27.040 though we have never had different lives. Good. As long 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.680 as you still love me, then I will still love 0:14:29.720 --> 0:14:33.000 you back. Yes, I'm stress, but I'm always stressed and 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:35.360 I like to dust myself and get on with it. 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:39.200 Love heart. So like she lowered her ego down, and 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:42.840 then we began to have this nice conversation of what's 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:48.840 been going on, what's happening, and like reconnected really well 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.160 and it was really nice. But yeah, I just thought 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:57.880 i'd like to bring that in and that's doing it myself, Yeah. 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:00.640 Because I think when you first said the first message, 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:06.320 my initial response would definitely be the ego one. And 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.960 I feel like sometimes it's easy to forget that even 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:13.960 when you're defending yourself and even if you're not being 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:17.880 like mean to someone or being super super triggered, there's 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:20.280 still a bit of ego in it. If you feel 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:21.560 like you need to be correct. 0:15:21.920 --> 0:15:24.600 Yep, that's what the ego is. Has to be correct, 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:29.360 has to win in any conversation. So I'd like to 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:35.520 have a little challenge for yourself and say when this happens, 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:39.440 say someone says like you're a shit person, I don't 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.000 know how you do that, You're a bad moral compass, 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:46.800 and like goes pretty deep, take your deep breath. It's 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:50.240 just their ego jumping at you, and it's something else. 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:54.040 It's never towards that person. Like no one really wants 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:57.080 to be angry and great at people unless they've done 0:15:57.080 --> 0:16:00.360 something bad. But if it's for no reason it doesn't 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:04.000 make sense to you, just lower your ego down and 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.520 just ask him a question, like what's going on? This 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:12.440 behavior is not you? What's happening and just see what 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:13.280 they say. 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:16.640 And what did you work through in your head before 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:18.600 you responded to that message. 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:22.040 Well, in my head, I didn't wipe her out. Yeah, 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.320 so it didn't make sense to me. Yeah, so I 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:27.840 was like, this doesn't make sense. Why would this person 0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:31.520 say this towards me? I know and myself that I 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:34.760 don't do that to people. Yeah, so it doesn't make sense. 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.360 That's what I've been doing a lot in my head 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.080 when something doesn't make sense, even with someone else's stuff, 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:44.440 it doesn't make sense. There's something else going on. Yeah, 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:49.040 And it's just communication. It helps. It gets anything like 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:50.400 ask him what's going on? 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:55.760 And I'd love to know, just because it actually also 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:57.640 has been a bit of a common theme in our 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:01.920 Facebook group, the like dealing with relative normally in laws 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.879 because I guess that is more common because they're very 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.320 different to you. Whereas your parents you've grown up with 0:17:07.440 --> 0:17:11.720 kind of thing. But what if, say, for example, you 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.480 have a family member that's a bit more old fashioned 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:17.840 or just very different values, so they might be like 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.960 a little bit sexist for example, and stuff like that, 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.760 would you still try and treat that with love or 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:28.320 would it be more questioning their beliefs and how they 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.639 got there and maybe trying to challenge them on that. 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:32.960 How would you deal with a family member like. 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:40.760 That in that scenario, Like it depends if it's getting uncomfortable, Yeah, 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:44.680 and it becomes a matter of like, hey, this isn't 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:50.680 right with how I'm sitting that certain one. It would 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:54.320 be more of like setting your boundaries, just letting them 0:17:54.359 --> 0:18:00.119 know your feelings. But that's yeah, starting a conversation a 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:05.280 whole that's a whole different podcast. Yeah, but like it 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:09.320 starts in yourself. Yeah, right from the start of like, no, 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:14.040 this isn't going to trigger me. Like, their judgments and 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:18.440 who they are is their business. It's not your business. 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:22.680 So when someone tells you a judgment, when they're judging you, 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:26.119 that's their judgment. It's none of your business. 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:30.920 And how did you get to that space where others 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:32.199 judgments didn't bother you? 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:35.719 I to do a bit of work and myself, So 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:39.359 that's it's really hard to talk on here about this 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.720 sort of thing because I have done work on myself. 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:48.720 But it's I've seen it. It can happen, and it 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:52.800 starts from the self development journey, journaling and that sort 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:55.160 of thing thing. It's getting it out. If you can't 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:59.280 go and see someone it's just learning knowledge's power. So 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:02.199 keep doing the work and it all slowly happen and 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.840 progress and that sort of thing, And like that's where 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:08.880 you would want to be. That's where I feel everyone 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:13.160 should get to, is not being triggered by stuff and 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:17.240 having love and peace in yourself. And when you can 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:20.119 get to that point, like that's that's happiness. 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:23.480 I reckon, Yeah, for sure, because nothing, just nothing upsets you. 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:26.240 Yeah, it's just like if that's a person's angry, it's 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:32.880 like you must have it. Yeah, It's exactly like when 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:35.720 you're around going to the shops or something and someone's 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:39.240 aggressive at you, and or when someone cuts you off, 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:42.760 I always think, man, he must be in or she 0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:45.480 must be in a rush to get somewhere. Yeah, like 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:49.280 on the road, let him go through instead of oh 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:54.639 that idiot crash into me, cut me off. Like that's 0:19:54.960 --> 0:19:58.199 that's anger in yourself. And when you get that, do 0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:01.560 what I said, take a few deep breaths. So thank you. 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:05.679 I don't need that anger. I'm going to be in 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:09.000 peace and then just let it look at the funnier 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:13.080 side or more positive side of you. Just let that 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:16.639 person go through to get to an important meeting, and 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:18.600 then yeah you did that, you're saying, fuck, I did 0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:19.080 something good. 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:21.119 I'm a great person. 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:25.040 Yeah, so it's in your head. It all starts in 0:20:25.080 --> 0:20:26.520 your head. Everything. 0:20:27.320 --> 0:20:33.600 And do you have any tips for maybe if you're 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:38.040 going into like a family lunch and you've set the 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:40.840 intention I'm going to go in with love, I'm gonna 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:44.160 have good energy, how you can almost or how you 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:49.119 might energetically set your boundaries with people or like not 0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:51.760 let things get to you. I know Georgie said, like 0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:53.879 one of her tips is like imagine yourself in a 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:55.919 bubble of light and just nothing can come in. 0:20:56.640 --> 0:20:56.880 Yep. 0:20:57.000 --> 0:20:59.440 Do you have something like that, like an exercise you 0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:04.199 do to just set that intention or visualize that or 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:07.160 is it more just like saying to yourself, I'm going 0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:07.760 in with love. 0:21:09.160 --> 0:21:12.200 I usually just do the verbal Yeah, but like whatever 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:16.040 works for you, that's awesome, that sounds amazing if you 0:21:16.040 --> 0:21:18.120 could do that as well, And I know Georgia has 0:21:18.119 --> 0:21:21.720 told me that too, and if that works, do it. 0:21:22.040 --> 0:21:22.280 Yeah. 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:25.080 There's no right or wrong way. It's just to have 0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:31.119 your intentions within a peace and kindness because what tends 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:34.880 to happen if you do that, everyone will start following you. 0:21:36.240 --> 0:21:39.200 And this has happened in my family and it's crazy 0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:45.720 that it has. And I wanted to change my relationship 0:21:45.720 --> 0:21:49.680 with the family and be more deeper and talk about 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:52.359 certain things. And I just started slowly doing it and 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:58.760 having my intentions of just yeah, peace and love and kindness, 0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:03.359 and and they tend to follow, Like people are drawn 0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:07.359 to that. Yeah, Like certain people are drawn to the anger. 0:22:07.800 --> 0:22:11.359 That's just because they've got anger in themselves. But when 0:22:11.440 --> 0:22:14.200 someone you know, like you will know that person that's 0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:17.760 like bubbly and you always go to that person and 0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:21.080 you get so much energy from them, and you think, God, 0:22:21.119 --> 0:22:23.360 that was awesome being around that person, Like I want 0:22:23.400 --> 0:22:27.639 to see that person again. Imagine being that person. And 0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:32.000 it starts with you, so you can be that person. 0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:35.120 And if you do that bit by bit in your family, 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:40.600 people start joining you. Yeah, and when you get there, 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:44.760 because they'll know you have deep conversations, they'll start with you, 0:22:45.200 --> 0:22:49.240 what's going on? How are you? Like give them the 0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:52.400 knowledge as well and say, oh, I'm doing this, I'm 0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:54.880 doing that influence them. 0:22:55.840 --> 0:23:02.280 So yeah, that's so cool. It's crazy how many people 0:23:02.320 --> 0:23:04.879 can surprise you with stuff like that and meet you 0:23:05.600 --> 0:23:08.199 where you're at. If you give them the chance or 0:23:08.280 --> 0:23:09.520 ask them enough questions. 0:23:09.960 --> 0:23:13.520 Yep, I'm not selling them. 0:23:14.240 --> 0:23:16.280 I'm not trying to sell them, but I use them 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:18.240 the other day and it was like insane. 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:23.320 Just one last thing is when you go into the 0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:27.160 gatherings and when you see your family, is to try 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:31.919 and have forgiveness to everyone, because we've always got something 0:23:32.000 --> 0:23:34.080 that we're holding on with people. And if you can 0:23:34.160 --> 0:23:39.800 get to trying to just forgive them in your head 0:23:40.200 --> 0:23:43.680 before you going in, that has helped me a lot. 0:23:43.840 --> 0:23:47.520 And then having gratitude if there is annoying person and 0:23:47.560 --> 0:23:51.160 then just won't stop, is to do what I said, 0:23:51.480 --> 0:23:54.120 from what I've been saying, but and then be grateful 0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:56.720 that you don't want to be in that person. 0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:01.600 If all else fail to be thankful, you're not, then. 0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:06.359 Pretty good, you think, And I'm so glad that I 0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:08.199 don't have anger like that. 0:24:09.040 --> 0:24:09.760 Yeah I can. 0:24:10.440 --> 0:24:13.320 I don't want to be that person. It does sound 0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:16.240 a bit bad, but it's like so true because I 0:24:16.240 --> 0:24:19.440 always do that in business when when everyone's like, oh 0:24:19.440 --> 0:24:22.800 we've got to strip everything back, we're going in a recession. No, 0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:27.760 I don't like put all your energy on making money, 0:24:27.880 --> 0:24:28.639 not budgeting. 0:24:29.560 --> 0:24:31.080