1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,319 Speaker 1: and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 5 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, 6 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: and this is the Rise and Conquer podcast. This is 7 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: the podcast where we ch have mindset, self development and 8 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 1: becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, 9 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: and being among Think of us as the perfect combo 11 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No 12 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: matter where you are in your journey, we're here to 13 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical 14 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's 15 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: seat of your own life and stop letting life pass 16 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: you by, then you're in the right placed. 17 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,400 Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Happy Tuesday, and welcome back to the podcast. 18 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 2: Today we have a fun at with Coop. He is 19 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 2: actually chatting to us about how you can deal with 20 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 2: being around family members or relatives that maybe don't agree 21 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 2: with you or a little bit difficult. We thought now 22 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 2: would be the perfect time for an episode like this, 23 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 2: seeing as it's almost silly season and often the holidays 24 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 2: are a time where you have to be around relatives 25 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 2: that may not necessarily align with your values. It also 26 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 2: has been a bit of a running theme in our 27 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 2: hotline question inbox and in the Facebook group, with a 28 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 2: lot of people not knowing how to set energetic boundaries 29 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 2: when it comes to their own family or even sometimes 30 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 2: their partner's family. So we know you're going to absolutely 31 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: love this episode. Coop has such valuable tips for us. 32 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 2: Just a quick reminder as well, if you're listening to 33 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: this episode in real time, our eleven eleven sail is 34 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 2: currently on, which is thirty percent off almost everything on 35 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 2: our website, including our courses. So if you've had your 36 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 2: eye on something, or know that you're going to be 37 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 2: wanting to do a little New Year's reset or some 38 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 2: self development in the new year, or even just before 39 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 2: the new year starts, then now is the time to 40 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 2: hop on. Because you do get lifetime access, you also 41 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 2: get instant access, so we'll pop the link in show 42 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 2: notes for you all. But before we get into it, 43 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 2: we'll just do our weekly recommendations. Cooper do you have 44 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 2: a recommendation for the RNC van. 45 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 3: Hello. Everyone. My recommendation, which I have been doing for 46 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 3: the last six months maybe a bit more, is having 47 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 3: a sauna, and then do you do the sauna first 48 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 3: to do that? Yeah, I got a sauna at home 49 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,839 Speaker 3: and I bought an ice bath as well, so I'll 50 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 3: do a sauna on the days I'm not going to gym. Yeah, 51 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 3: it's neared work, and then I'll yeah, just jump in 52 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 3: there for twenty minutes and then do an ice bath 53 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 3: and I am ready. 54 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 55 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 3: Do you do it in the morning, yeah? Usually yeah, yeah, 56 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,839 Speaker 3: And that just just sets me up. And the way 57 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,839 Speaker 3: I think about it is, if I can do this, 58 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 3: I can do anything. That's such a painful ice baths 59 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 3: but yeah, very beneficial and I love them. 60 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 2: That is a really good thing to do in the morning. 61 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 2: I might give it go maybe just disorder, though maybe 62 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 2: not the Icelan. My recommendation is at TV show I 63 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 2: started watching on the weekend. It's called The Buccaneers. It's 64 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 2: on Apple TV. And if you liked Bridgeton, you'll love this, 65 00:03:54,920 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 2: So give it a code. Let's get into the episode. 66 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 2: Hi Cooper, Hello, what are we learning? Today. 67 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 3: I would like to bring forth something that can help. 68 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 3: But he did say that to me, which I didn't 69 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 3: really realize. But coming up to holiday season, we're going 70 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 3: to be around family members and that can be really tricky. Yes, 71 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 3: definitely know what that is. And I've been through it 72 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 3: all as well as I'm guessing everyone else has too. 73 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 3: And to get a better help in this time, it'd 74 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 3: be great. And I wish I had this help, sir. 75 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 3: I thought it'd be a cool thing to talk about. 76 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm really excited to learn this cool. I think 77 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,480 Speaker 2: everyone has that like family member that they kind of 78 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 2: avoid but they need to sort of spend time with, 79 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 2: but you want to protect your own energy at the 80 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 2: same time. 81 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 3: So yeah, there's always a few I reckon because if 82 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 3: you've got a partner to go to a two families 83 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:04,720 Speaker 3: and then there's double and yeah, it's just so yeah. 84 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 3: So I'd like to jump in and start straight away. 85 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 3: Is it starts from the closest relationship and that is yourself. 86 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 3: Everything starts as I always say to you that it 87 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 3: starts from yourself, and I like to I did get 88 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 3: this from a book and I'm just putting in my 89 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 3: own words. Just so, Yeah, that I'm bringing it out. 90 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 3: But your family, it starts in your mind, Like whatever 91 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 3: you portray your family in your mind, like, that's what 92 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 3: you're going to get because we do when we think 93 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 3: about everything in our heads, and that's where it starts. 94 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 3: So that's where we're going to start. And for an example, 95 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:55,600 Speaker 3: if you think of an annoying relative, that's what you're 96 00:05:55,600 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 3: going to get. Like if you're some uncle reefs, is 97 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 3: that they're actually if he's annoying or her whoever, whoever's annoying, 98 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 3: you're going to go into that family gathering and you're 99 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,359 Speaker 3: going to be annoyed from them already because that's what's 100 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:17,239 Speaker 3: in your head. 101 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 2: You've like preempted them annoying you. 102 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. And if someone gets really angry or loud 103 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 3: and you're like, I don't want to go though because 104 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 3: they're just so angry and loud, and that's what you're 105 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 3: going to get because your mind is everything and that's 106 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 3: where it starts. WHOA, So before you go to the 107 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 3: plant you're gathering, so and see your family, have a 108 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 3: little think of what annoys you or what you get 109 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 3: angry with, and think about those people and try and 110 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 3: change how you think about them, which is hard because 111 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 3: we're dealing with triggers and all sorts of stuff. So, 112 00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 3: like it starts with yourself. And usually I believe that 113 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 3: when someone triggers you, it's because you don't really like 114 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 3: it in yourself, so it's hard to get rid of that. 115 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 3: But coming into the gathering with your intentions, that all right, 116 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 3: So it starts with your intentions going into the gathering, 117 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 3: so trying to change those annoyances and anger and irritations 118 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 3: to how can I bring kindness and inner peace into 119 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 3: the relationship, or like your intentions going into the place 120 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 3: you're going to go to, and when you start with that, 121 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 3: like they're your clear intentions when you go into it, 122 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 3: and then so like when you go in and it happens, 123 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 3: because like it's hard to do all this stuff straight up, 124 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 3: And yeah, I like to point out that this might 125 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 3: take a while. It might do little bits and pieces, 126 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 3: and each step, each gathering, you'll do one more and 127 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 3: then it'll get better and better. 128 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 2: So is it almost like before you even go to 129 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 2: like say the lunch or dinner whatever it is, you go, 130 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 2: uncle Rufus has not going to annoy me today? Yeah, 131 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 2: or like do you even go one step further, I'm 132 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 2: gonna have a great conversation with uncle Rufus. 133 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 3: Yep, you can do that. And when he does his 134 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 3: normal thing, try and a few little tools I like 135 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 3: to do is take a few like if you can 136 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 3: do this quick enough, because you're supposed to do like 137 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 3: three deep breaths and calm your nervous system before you 138 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,120 Speaker 3: get triggered. But try and do it as fast as 139 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 3: you can, even wine breath. Just go and then look 140 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 3: at that person and look for like love, where where 141 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 3: can you see the love? And love him for being 142 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 3: who he is? And then like it starts starts from there. 143 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,719 Speaker 3: And then all right, let's start with some little role 144 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,560 Speaker 3: plays and some tools that I like to use in 145 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 3: these instances come across. And so you're at a family 146 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 3: gathering and your come across that person that is annoying 147 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 3: or angry, and a few of the things. One little 148 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: thing I like to do is take a few deep breaths, 149 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 3: if you got to do a bit faster, to take 150 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 3: one deep breath and calm your nervous system down. And 151 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 3: like they're not there to annoy you. As I said before, 152 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 3: it's in your head that they're annoying. You. So if 153 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:29,559 Speaker 3: you try and change that too, I love that person 154 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 3: for doing that, and how can I like why? I 155 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 3: like to always think why they are? Why are they 156 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 3: doing what they're doing? Like there's got to be a reason. 157 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 3: So instead of getting triggered, because that's our ego when 158 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 3: something gets us, that's our ego saying hey, don't like that, 159 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 3: and it's to say no, it's all right, thank you, 160 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 3: I've got this, and try and look to that person 161 00:09:57,320 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 3: and say, like what's going on? Like why are you? 162 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 3: Why are you angry at this thing? Like why is 163 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:08,679 Speaker 3: it getting you? Because you'll learn a lot more by 164 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 3: asking questions, not giving your to Bob's worth and your 165 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 3: advice to that person, try and understand where they're coming 166 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:22,319 Speaker 3: from and go deeper with them. And yeah, because that's 167 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 3: why these cards that we've got out, the conversation cards awesome, 168 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,959 Speaker 3: Like I use them a lot too. Go on along 169 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 3: those lines because you'll uncover what people are actually thinking 170 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 3: and like that whole dynamic of that relationship will change 171 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 3: once you want to, when you want to understand that 172 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 3: person and just come in it with love and kindness. 173 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 2: So I have a question, is it almost do you 174 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 2: love them for doing the thing that's annoying you, or 175 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 2: do you love them despite the fact they're. 176 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 3: Doing the thing that's annoying. You can do both. I 177 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 3: guess like, if you can like, why not why not 178 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 3: love them for either way? It doesn't matter because in 179 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 3: your mind, it's not annoying, it's you're just loving them 180 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 3: for who they are. And I am funny enough, this 181 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 3: happened to be on the weekend. We actually planned this 182 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 3: for a while ago, but it happened on the weekend. 183 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 3: And then I'll explain what happened with this family member 184 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,839 Speaker 3: of mine. I'm not going to be the names. 185 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 2: Everyone know, but Captain anim. 186 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 3: Okay, So this person said, don't you want me on 187 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 3: your Instagram? Don't worry. I get the hint, and I 188 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 3: thought she was joking. So on my Instagram, I unfollowed 189 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 3: everyone because I don't want to. I'm trying to a 190 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 3: social media cleanse. But then come back in it that 191 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 3: just not too much. So I just not followed everyone, 192 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,079 Speaker 3: except if you have a few little people that I 193 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 3: just want to want to follow whose they don't put 194 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 3: much out. And then so this person got triggered, and yeah, 195 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 3: that person thought I didn't want I wanted to wipe 196 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 3: them out because that's what I did on Instagram. Oh 197 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 3: and because you know how that can happen with certain 198 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 3: people you don't want to follow them and then it 199 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 3: shows that you're not following them and they just think 200 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 3: you hate them. 201 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 2: Now, yeah, so. 202 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 3: That happened, and I was so confused because I was like, 203 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 3: is she is she being real? Or like is this 204 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 3: is this real? Like is she joking around? 205 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 2: And yeah? 206 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 3: So she wasn't joking around, and then she was very passive, 207 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 3: aggres aggressive, and so she said, I don't think you 208 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 3: were the only one rearranging your life. The past years 209 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,079 Speaker 3: has been the hardest ones in my life, but I 210 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 3: would never wipe you. So it was like pretty hard, 211 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 3: and I was like, all right. So I didn't want 212 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 3: that to trigger me because I could have my ego 213 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 3: could have jumped up and said, I've deleted everyone. What 214 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 3: are you talking about? Like, how can you say that 215 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 3: to me? I don't wipe people like I'm a kind person. 216 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 3: So I could easily have said that because that's what 217 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:33,560 Speaker 3: I believe. So I began and I said, what's going on? 218 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 3: Why are you feeling angry? And she said, because you 219 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 3: wipe me. That's why, and I said, so to deflate 220 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 3: the whole thing, I said, I'm sorry you feel like 221 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 3: I have wiped you. I apologize if that's what it 222 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 3: looks like. I would never want to wipe you out 223 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 3: of my life. I love you so much. I love 224 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 3: the weird relationship we have. You must be on so 225 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 3: much pressure and stress. If you need any help, I'm 226 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,960 Speaker 3: here for you. I hope you know that, oh heart. 227 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:12,040 Speaker 3: So after that, instead of doing the ego thing and 228 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 3: I would have got a bad message, she said, well, 229 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 3: it does feel like that, and I'm not afraid to 230 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 3: tell you good because I love that we have a 231 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 3: laugh and be weird. I would never wipe you, even 232 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 3: though we have never had different lives. Good. As long 233 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 3: as you still love me, then I will still love 234 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,000 Speaker 3: you back. Yes, I'm stress, but I'm always stressed and 235 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 3: I like to dust myself and get on with it. 236 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 3: Love heart. So like she lowered her ego down, and 237 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 3: then we began to have this nice conversation of what's 238 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 3: been going on, what's happening, and like reconnected really well 239 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 3: and it was really nice. But yeah, I just thought 240 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 3: i'd like to bring that in and that's doing it myself, Yeah. 241 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 2: Because I think when you first said the first message, 242 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 2: my initial response would definitely be the ego one. And 243 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes it's easy to forget that even 244 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 2: when you're defending yourself and even if you're not being 245 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,880 Speaker 2: like mean to someone or being super super triggered, there's 246 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 2: still a bit of ego in it. If you feel 247 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 2: like you need to be correct. 248 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 3: Yep, that's what the ego is. Has to be correct, 249 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 3: has to win in any conversation. So I'd like to 250 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 3: have a little challenge for yourself and say when this happens, 251 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 3: say someone says like you're a shit person, I don't 252 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 3: know how you do that, You're a bad moral compass, 253 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 3: and like goes pretty deep, take your deep breath. It's 254 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 3: just their ego jumping at you, and it's something else. 255 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 3: It's never towards that person. Like no one really wants 256 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:57,080 Speaker 3: to be angry and great at people unless they've done 257 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 3: something bad. But if it's for no reason it doesn't 258 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 3: make sense to you, just lower your ego down and 259 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 3: just ask him a question, like what's going on? This 260 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 3: behavior is not you? What's happening and just see what 261 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 3: they say. 262 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 2: And what did you work through in your head before 263 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 2: you responded to that message. 264 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 3: Well, in my head, I didn't wipe her out. Yeah, 265 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 3: so it didn't make sense to me. Yeah, so I 266 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 3: was like, this doesn't make sense. Why would this person 267 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 3: say this towards me? I know and myself that I 268 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 3: don't do that to people. Yeah, so it doesn't make sense. 269 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 3: That's what I've been doing a lot in my head 270 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 3: when something doesn't make sense, even with someone else's stuff, 271 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 3: it doesn't make sense. There's something else going on. Yeah, 272 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 3: And it's just communication. It helps. It gets anything like 273 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 3: ask him what's going on? 274 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 2: And I'd love to know, just because it actually also 275 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 2: has been a bit of a common theme in our 276 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 2: Facebook group, the like dealing with relative normally in laws 277 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 2: because I guess that is more common because they're very 278 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 2: different to you. Whereas your parents you've grown up with 279 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 2: kind of thing. But what if, say, for example, you 280 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 2: have a family member that's a bit more old fashioned 281 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 2: or just very different values, so they might be like 282 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 2: a little bit sexist for example, and stuff like that, 283 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 2: would you still try and treat that with love or 284 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 2: would it be more questioning their beliefs and how they 285 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,639 Speaker 2: got there and maybe trying to challenge them on that. 286 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 2: How would you deal with a family member like. 287 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 3: That in that scenario, Like it depends if it's getting uncomfortable, Yeah, 288 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 3: and it becomes a matter of like, hey, this isn't 289 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:50,680 Speaker 3: right with how I'm sitting that certain one. It would 290 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 3: be more of like setting your boundaries, just letting them 291 00:17:54,359 --> 00:18:00,119 Speaker 3: know your feelings. But that's yeah, starting a conversation a 292 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 3: whole that's a whole different podcast. Yeah, but like it 293 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 3: starts in yourself. Yeah, right from the start of like, no, 294 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 3: this isn't going to trigger me. Like, their judgments and 295 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:18,440 Speaker 3: who they are is their business. It's not your business. 296 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 3: So when someone tells you a judgment, when they're judging you, 297 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 3: that's their judgment. It's none of your business. 298 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,920 Speaker 2: And how did you get to that space where others 299 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,199 Speaker 2: judgments didn't bother you? 300 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,719 Speaker 3: I to do a bit of work and myself, So 301 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 3: that's it's really hard to talk on here about this 302 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 3: sort of thing because I have done work on myself. 303 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 3: But it's I've seen it. It can happen, and it 304 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 3: starts from the self development journey, journaling and that sort 305 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 3: of thing thing. It's getting it out. If you can't 306 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 3: go and see someone it's just learning knowledge's power. So 307 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,199 Speaker 3: keep doing the work and it all slowly happen and 308 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 3: progress and that sort of thing, And like that's where 309 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,880 Speaker 3: you would want to be. That's where I feel everyone 310 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 3: should get to, is not being triggered by stuff and 311 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 3: having love and peace in yourself. And when you can 312 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 3: get to that point, like that's that's happiness. 313 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 2: I reckon, Yeah, for sure, because nothing, just nothing upsets you. 314 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like if that's a person's angry, it's 315 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:32,880 Speaker 3: like you must have it. Yeah, It's exactly like when 316 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,720 Speaker 3: you're around going to the shops or something and someone's 317 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 3: aggressive at you, and or when someone cuts you off, 318 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 3: I always think, man, he must be in or she 319 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,480 Speaker 3: must be in a rush to get somewhere. Yeah, like 320 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 3: on the road, let him go through instead of oh 321 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:54,639 Speaker 3: that idiot crash into me, cut me off. Like that's 322 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,199 Speaker 3: that's anger in yourself. And when you get that, do 323 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 3: what I said, take a few deep breaths. So thank you. 324 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 3: I don't need that anger. I'm going to be in 325 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 3: peace and then just let it look at the funnier 326 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 3: side or more positive side of you. Just let that 327 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 3: person go through to get to an important meeting, and 328 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 3: then yeah you did that, you're saying, fuck, I did 329 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 3: something good. 330 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,119 Speaker 2: I'm a great person. 331 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's in your head. It all starts in 332 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 3: your head. Everything. 333 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 2: And do you have any tips for maybe if you're 334 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 2: going into like a family lunch and you've set the 335 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 2: intention I'm going to go in with love, I'm gonna 336 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 2: have good energy, how you can almost or how you 337 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:49,119 Speaker 2: might energetically set your boundaries with people or like not 338 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 2: let things get to you. I know Georgie said, like 339 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 2: one of her tips is like imagine yourself in a 340 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,919 Speaker 2: bubble of light and just nothing can come in. 341 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 3: Yep. 342 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 2: Do you have something like that, like an exercise you 343 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:04,199 Speaker 2: do to just set that intention or visualize that or 344 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 2: is it more just like saying to yourself, I'm going 345 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 2: in with love. 346 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,200 Speaker 3: I usually just do the verbal Yeah, but like whatever 347 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 3: works for you, that's awesome, that sounds amazing if you 348 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,120 Speaker 3: could do that as well, And I know Georgia has 349 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 3: told me that too, and if that works, do it. 350 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. 351 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 3: There's no right or wrong way. It's just to have 352 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:31,119 Speaker 3: your intentions within a peace and kindness because what tends 353 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:34,880 Speaker 3: to happen if you do that, everyone will start following you. 354 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 3: And this has happened in my family and it's crazy 355 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:45,720 Speaker 3: that it has. And I wanted to change my relationship 356 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:49,680 Speaker 3: with the family and be more deeper and talk about 357 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 3: certain things. And I just started slowly doing it and 358 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 3: having my intentions of just yeah, peace and love and kindness, 359 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:03,359 Speaker 3: and and they tend to follow, Like people are drawn 360 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 3: to that. Yeah, Like certain people are drawn to the anger. 361 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 3: That's just because they've got anger in themselves. But when 362 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 3: someone you know, like you will know that person that's 363 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 3: like bubbly and you always go to that person and 364 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 3: you get so much energy from them, and you think, God, 365 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:23,360 Speaker 3: that was awesome being around that person, Like I want 366 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 3: to see that person again. Imagine being that person. And 367 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 3: it starts with you, so you can be that person. 368 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 3: And if you do that bit by bit in your family, 369 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 3: people start joining you. Yeah, and when you get there, 370 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 3: because they'll know you have deep conversations, they'll start with you, 371 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 3: what's going on? How are you? Like give them the 372 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 3: knowledge as well and say, oh, I'm doing this, I'm 373 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,880 Speaker 3: doing that influence them. 374 00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 2: So yeah, that's so cool. It's crazy how many people 375 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 2: can surprise you with stuff like that and meet you 376 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,199 Speaker 2: where you're at. If you give them the chance or 377 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 2: ask them enough questions. 378 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 3: Yep, I'm not selling them. 379 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 2: I'm not trying to sell them, but I use them 380 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 2: the other day and it was like insane. 381 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 3: Just one last thing is when you go into the 382 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 3: gatherings and when you see your family, is to try 383 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:31,919 Speaker 3: and have forgiveness to everyone, because we've always got something 384 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 3: that we're holding on with people. And if you can 385 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:39,800 Speaker 3: get to trying to just forgive them in your head 386 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 3: before you going in, that has helped me a lot. 387 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 3: And then having gratitude if there is annoying person and 388 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 3: then just won't stop, is to do what I said, 389 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,120 Speaker 3: from what I've been saying, but and then be grateful 390 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 3: that you don't want to be in that person. 391 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 2: If all else fail to be thankful, you're not, then. 392 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,359 Speaker 3: Pretty good, you think, And I'm so glad that I 393 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 3: don't have anger like that. 394 00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:09,760 Speaker 2: Yeah I can. 395 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 3: I don't want to be that person. It does sound 396 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 3: a bit bad, but it's like so true because I 397 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 3: always do that in business when when everyone's like, oh 398 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 3: we've got to strip everything back, we're going in a recession. No, 399 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 3: I don't like put all your energy on making money, 400 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:28,639 Speaker 3: not budgeting. 401 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I see where you're coming from. 402 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:36,359 Speaker 3: Example, but like focus on the good energy, not the bad. 403 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,080 Speaker 3: So just yeah, when you've come back in with the 404 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,200 Speaker 3: family members, like just love them for who they are. 405 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 3: I just think, thank god, I'm not like that. Yeah, 406 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 3: you can help them, but yeah, internally just think Yeah. 407 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 2: And with the forgiveness, is that more like if you've 408 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 2: had a bad experience in the past, or you like 409 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 2: might be holding a bit of a grudge towards a 410 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 2: specific family member, to just let that go before you 411 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 2: walk into the situation. 412 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 3: Yes, definitely, Sorry, Like why would you hold on a 413 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 3: grudge someone, Like, it's it's an anchor, It's gonna cause 414 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,359 Speaker 3: more harm in your head. And once you're able to 415 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 3: let go and forgive that person, you'll feel so light. 416 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:22,919 Speaker 2: Yeah. 417 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,639 Speaker 3: Then again, like that that takes time. 418 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 2: It's hard. 419 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, it takes you go to work around that sort 420 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,400 Speaker 3: of thing. You can't just magically do that shit. No, yeah, 421 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 3: rich Site, Yeah it's hard to do that. But that's 422 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 3: the goal. So when we have a goal like work towards. 423 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 2: It, something that helped me with forgiveness, it's like almost 424 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 2: I feel like your ego never wants you to forgive 425 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 2: someone because it's like if you forgive them, then they 426 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 2: got away with it kind of thing. That's what some 427 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,440 Speaker 2: people tell themselves. So I can't forgive that person because 428 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 2: they need to know what they did was wrong. But like, 429 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:03,199 Speaker 2: forgiveness isn't the other person, it's for you. Forgiveness is 430 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 2: going to make you feel better. I don't think their 431 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,400 Speaker 2: life is going to change much whether you forgive them 432 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 2: or not, but it's about you letting it go and 433 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 2: not holding that negative energy in yourself. Yep, definitely, thank 434 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 2: you for those tips, Cooper. 435 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 3: That's all right. 436 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 2: I feel like it's going to benefit us all the 437 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 2: next year. That's gonna be a lot of events. 438 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 3: It's a bit hard to get that stuff out, but 439 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,159 Speaker 3: hopefully you tuned along, but yeah, try it out. Let 440 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,680 Speaker 3: us know, and I'd love to hear everyone's stories. 441 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, that'll be fun. Yeah, maybe in the new year, 442 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,199 Speaker 2: if everybody sends them in for Christmas, we can do 443 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 2: an episode where we read them out. 444 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 3: Yeah. If you've just transformed your whole family. 445 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 2: We'll see you all next week. 446 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,399 Speaker 3: Bye bye. 447 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,880 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of 448 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquered Podcast. If you enjoyed it and 449 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:04,120 Speaker 1: want more, connect with us on Instagram at Riseanconquer dot 450 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 1: podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a Rise and 451 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,919 Speaker 1: Conquer podcast community. 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