WEBVTT - 67. THERAPY THURSDAY - ASK UNCUT 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:25.120 Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:28.480 I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and today is our second 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.760 episode of the week. It is our quick, down and 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:35.000 dirty episode where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:37.440 We're actually doing something a little bit different today, and 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:40.040 how do you feel, Laura, because we've gone rogue. 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:41.239 We are doing the. 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:45.000 Podcast on my lounge. I have this really, really big lounge. 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:46.639 We're sitting like a meter and a half away from 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:48.600 each other. Our legs are curled up on the lounge. 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:51.040 We've got cushions everywhere. We've never done it like this before. 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:53.400 We're usually like crammed into a little table and I'm 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:55.360 on your bed amongst all of your clothes. 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.040 You're making this sound a lot boogier than what it is. Guys. 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:01.080 We're still budget. Nothing has changed. We're still not making 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:03.160 enough money from this podcast. We're going to keep on 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:05.120 doing it exactly how we've done it the whole time, 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:07.920 which is a mad dash to the finish line. I'll 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:10.319 stay up to midnight and probably edit this and then 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:12.119 complain a few times to Brandy about it. 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:15.959 I'm out there hustle and trying to wrangle some money. 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:17.720 If you guys are listening, you want to sponsor the 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:18.800 podcast slide on it. 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:20.880 Oh wow, I got despert real quick, didn't it. 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:23.960 Now I'm dying to know. Laura. You just told me 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:26.440 that something funny happened to you today, but you won't 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:26.959 tell me what. 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:28.600 Because you want to do it live on the pod 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.759 like this. Okay, this is what we do. Whenever something 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:32.880 interesting happens in our life. We don't actually tell each 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.000 other until we sit down with a microphone in the hand. 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:38.200 I don't know if it's funny, it's traumatic. Today I 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.280 had to go into the city to go and run 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:42.320 into one of our jewelers who works with us. And 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.399 I ran in and I was like, I'll just park 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:46.600 an angel place, Like, there's a car park there that 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:48.840 I know. It's a Wilson car park. It's multi level 0:01:48.840 --> 0:01:51.360 car park right in the city, and anyone knows, like 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:53.760 just driving into city that in and of itself is 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.760 like a stressful ordeal. So I parked the car and 0:01:56.880 --> 0:02:00.000 I parked on the lowest level of the car park. 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:02.760 So I got out, I went and did my thing, 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:04.640 and then I came back and I was waiting for 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:06.920 the lift and I got into lyft. This is a 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:07.840 long story. 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:09.880 I'm here for her though. 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:11.400 Then I got out and I got out at the 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:13.239 wrong level, so I was like in the car park, 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:14.440 but I was at the wrong level. I was at 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:16.360 like basement two and I was actually meant to be 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:18.720 at basement seven. So I'm like, oh, I'll just go 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:21.920 down the fire escape. So I opened the fire escape 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:24.200 and the door shuts and I walked down a level 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:27.400 and I was like, I'll just try this door. None 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.400 of the doors worked, none of that. 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:31.079 Oh my god. 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:32.680 I was trapped in. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:39.239 Pregnant woman waddling up and down like eight flights of stairs. 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:42.760 Anyway, Eventually I figured out what level. There was one 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:44.680 level that had an emergency phone on it, and I 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:49.400 was like calling. The guy finally picks up after twenty 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:52.880 minutes and he's like hello, and I was like, I'm 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:55.720 stuck in your fire exit. Thank god there was an 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:58.160 emergency phone. I was gonna be on the news, this 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.160 pregnant woman died in a fire. Is I buck twice? 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:07.200 If you're in Milwaukee, hang on my concern here, Okay, no, 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:09.560 not my main concern. My main concern is your welfare. 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.320 I'm glad you're Okay, no, let's like break this down 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:17.040 for a second. This is a fire escape. The whole 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:20.320 purpose is you're supposed to be using it to escape 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:20.799 a fire. 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:23.760 Okay. So the issue was is that I walked down 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:25.360 to the bottom level and I was like, cause that's 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:26.560 where my cart was, and I was like, okay, I 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:28.760 can't get out of here. So then I walked back 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:31.079 up as far as I could before I ran out, 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:35.920 So I didn't three stairs. I didn't quite make it 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:37.920 to the very top level, which was like eight flights 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:40.680 of stairs, but everyone knows that like a car park stairwell, 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:43.240 it's really two flights to one flight, so we're talking 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:46.320 like sixteen flights of stairs here. So I didn't quite 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.680 make it to the top level. And then I was like, well, 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:50.200 maybe i'll just sit here for a while and see 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:53.320 what happens. That was a bad idea. Nothing happens, So 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:56.000 then I started walking with no one else is using 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:59.200 the fire well. So then I walked up further, eventually 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:01.000 found the phone, and the guy on the phone was like, 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:04.160 you just need to keep walking up and then eventually 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:06.240 you'll hit the street and the street exit you can 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:08.720 exit from. And I was like Okay, thanks for that power. 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.960 But if just in case, you don't hear from me, 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.760 I'm either still trapped to the stairwell or made it 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:17.279 out alive, like one of the two. This is wrong 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:20.120 on so many levels. You know, there was no signs either. 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:22.120 There wasn't a sign that said, hey, if you're stuck 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.760 in the stairwell, please proceed to the very top level 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:26.160 and you can get out on Pitt Street Mall. 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:27.800 You should have said that I'm gonna write a letter. 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:29.800 Can we turn into that angry pregnant woan who writes 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:30.360 letters now? 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:32.400 Well, I mean, I feel like this that you just 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:34.480 called it out to all of Australia is more powerful 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:36.359 than your letter. But you write that letter. 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.200 Also, I want to point out, guys, I know that 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:40.800 a lot of you listened to the episode the other 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:44.360 week where I said that I saw zac Efron in Bondai, 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:47.520 and I just want to reiterate that it fucking was 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.920 zac Efron because every single media outlet has now reported 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.720 on it. Apparently he's moved to Dover Heights And for 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.560 a while there I was like really second guessing myself. 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:58.359 I was like, did I make that up? Did I 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:01.960 like fantasize him into ex Is he really in bond? 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.599 I did not tell me that you were having second doubts. 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:06.360 You were like, yeah, babes, I saw him, and then 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:07.919 your internal monologue like, oh. 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:10.520 Was it him? I said, it was such confidence. But anyway, 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:13.720 he's actually here, and I feel really privileged that our 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:15.960 little life on cut community were the very first people 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:16.240 to know. 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:18.320 I said to Laura. Once she said that and we 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.200 hung up our microphones for the night, I said, you 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:23.599 realize what you've just done. I was like, no one 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:26.360 knows Zack's here. You have just outed him. He's here 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:28.800 trying to go low key under the radar, and you 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:30.839 just outed him. And all of a sudden, the next day, 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.279 literally the next day, it was in every news article, 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:35.720 every media outlet. There were papped photos. The poor guy 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:38.240 got one secret day and then you fucked it up. 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:41.240 Would you imagine being zach Efron and some shitty d 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:44.640 list reality TV stuff ups it up for you. 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.760 Laura's like, I'm going to teach you for turning your 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:48.400 back on me. No one turns your back on me. 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:52.600 Oh guys, you know that this is our very quick 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:54.440 episode for the week, and what we do is we 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:56.400 answer the questions that you have been writing in for 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:58.279 the week. So we have three questions that we're going 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:00.360 to answer for today's episode, and we're going to jump 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:03.520 straight into them because it's currently six thirty and we 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.680 need to get this episode done before the Bachelorette starts tonight. 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:09.800 Hell's yeah, we do. I've been with my current partner 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.320 for almost four years, and recently I was talking with 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.560 friends about how we met, and I told them that 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:16.719 I asked him before we had sex for the very 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.960 first time if he had recently had an STD check 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:23.039 and if he was clean. The looks they gave me 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.360 and the questions they asked me made me feel really ashamed, 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.240 and I began to question my choices. What are your 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:32.240 guys thoughts on asking someone about STD checks prior to 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:34.960 sleeping with someone? Is this normal? Am I that weird? 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:37.400 Because I won't sleep with someone without knowing if they're clean. 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.120 Why do your friends think this is so weird? That's 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.200 what I want to know. It depends on what kind 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:44.920 of relationship you're having, I think, Like I mean, obviously, 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:46.719 if it's a one night stand or something and you 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:49.480 just there for hangs and bangs, protect yourself, you may 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:51.680 not get an honest answer anyway. So like you can 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:54.080 ask the question, they're gonna say, yes, Yeah, you can 0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:56.400 ask the question. I'm not going to put my money 0:06:56.400 --> 0:06:58.200 on that that answer might be true. So I think 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.680 that you in and of yourself need to take whatever 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:03.080 precautions you can. But if you guys, have been on 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.320 a few dates and you're taking it slow, and you 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:07.359 know you've kind of hit the five date mark and 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:09.680 you're gearing up for sexy times, and I don't think 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:11.800 that there's anything wrong with asking someone if they've had 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:14.680 an SDD check. I actually kind of encourage it. 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:17.440 Oh, I think you definitely should. I have a girlfriend, 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.679 a really good girlfriend who's a babe and like everyone 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:24.720 wants to sleep with her, but she has never and 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:27.440 will never and she only just told me this last week. 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:31.120 She has never and will never sleep with anyone without 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:35.440 them proving they've got they've had an s C check. 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.800 She gets, they email her the results, she has to 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:40.840 have it in a hard copy. She actually does it. 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.760 She yeah, she actually does it. She's not shy about 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:47.160 it either, and she's I mean, if the off chances 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:48.920 she's had a one night stand in her life, which 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:50.760 she says she doesn't really like to do anyway. 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:52.880 She's like, I do imagine about you're about to have 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:54.680 one night stand. You're like, I'm really sorry, we can't 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:56.160 do this until you go to the doctors. And then 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.320 that's like the most prolonged white one night stand ever. 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:00.040 He then goes to the doctors. Three days later he 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:02.600 emails you. Then you're like, cool, let's resume where were you, 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.000 Oh doggie star, Let's go. 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:08.520 Well, this only works for her because A she doesn't 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:10.520 do one night stands because for sex, for her, she 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:12.840 wants to have some sort of connection to them. And 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:16.400 that's so fine, Like I totally get that. B guys 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.120 want to sleep with her enough that they're gonna go 0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:19.760 and do it. They're gonna go and get the test 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:21.480 and show, and then she's like free for all because 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.120 she doesn't want personally, this girl doesn't want to use 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.680 condoms when she has sex, so she wants to know 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:28.880 that she's got a connection with them and that they're 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:30.480 clean and healthy. And I think, you know what, if 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:32.600 that works for you, go for it. That is not 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:35.520 gonna work for everyone. Unfortunately, I think she's a bit 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:37.240 of a league of her own there. I think, like 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.160 Laura said, if you're gonna have a one night stand, 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:42.080 use protection. Obviously, of course you can ask them. I 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:45.160 ask for sure, but I think I ask for my 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:50.400 own peace of mind because they're not going to say, oh, yes, 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:52.000 I have her bees Like they're not gonna say it. 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:54.360 Are they. A guy that's about to sleep with someone, 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:56.680 I don't think he's gonna be honest. So that's something 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:58.040 you need to keep in the back of your mind. 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:00.360 Well, I think there are some guys that are really honest, 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:02.160 like I genuinely do think. I mean, I know that 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.280 I've been in a situation before where I was very 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:06.800 close to having sex with someone and they were very 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:09.520 honest about what STIs they had, and that kind of 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:11.959 you know, slowed things down tremendously. You know, we actually 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:13.760 ended up dating for a really long time. It's not 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:15.960 that I think there's a lot of stigma around STIs 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:17.520 that there doesn't need to be. And we've talked about 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:20.400 this before, especially when we did the Sex Education podcast 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:24.760 with Juliet Allen. There's so much stigma around sti's and 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:27.720 we treat them as though like they're this really frightening 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:30.880 thing to catch and I don't think that they majority 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.280 of them are as frightening as what we meet them 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:35.920 out to be. However, do you want to catch something? 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:36.240 No? 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:40.600 Should you protect yourself? Absolutely? And so for you at 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:43.800 the time, it felt normal and comfortable in your relationship 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:46.440 to ask and make sure that they've had an STI check. 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:48.360 I think that that's totally normal, and I think that 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:50.959 there are a whole lot of women out there who 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:53.760 would be asking before having sex. Hey, when was the 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.800 last time you got checked? I asked, Matt. Good thing 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:59.160 is when you do The Bachelor, you kind of have to. 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.199 That's actually one one of the things that you have 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:03.240 to prove that you've had done before you can go 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:04.640 on the show. You have to go and get an 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:05.199 STI check. 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:07.080 Yeah, it's a prerequisite you have. You do have to 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:08.760 prove everyone sexually healthy. 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:10.800 Yeah, there's a full they give you, like a full 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:14.080 health and body checkover. I don't know what a body 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:15.040 checkover sort. 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:16.560 Of check over to may give you. I don't get a. 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:21.360 Like, ma'am, take off all of your clothes. No, so 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:23.160 you have to do a full health check. I mean, 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:24.760 I don't know what the rules are these days, but 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:26.280 one of the health checks. Was that you have to 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:28.240 get tested for a whole lot of different STIs. 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:30.200 Yeah, you get you get your boods done and they 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:30.880 do the works. 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.559 Yeah. So look, I think it's a totally normal thing 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.400 to ask. I don't think that your friends should be 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:37.760 making you feel weird for it. Maybe they should be 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:41.319 asking more often. But also I recommend that everyone goes 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:43.600 after each sexual partner. You go and you get yourself 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.480 checked because you just don't know otherwise. And we have 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:49.640 a real responsibility to be responsible when it comes to 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.480 our own health and also our sexual partners. 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:54.400 Responsibility to be responsible. That is true. 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.679 Like what you did there, Okay, question number two, I 0:10:57.720 --> 0:10:59.720 feel like we got that. Yeah. 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:03.400 I just want to reiterate that what Laura said is 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.120 absolutely true. It's not the end of the world if 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:08.439 you get an STI or if someone has an STI. 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:13.040 They're not all really, really nasty. There are some nasty ones. 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:16.040 A lot of them can be treated. But having said that, 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.840 it is important that you go and get checked after 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:22.720 you have had any new sexual encounters because whilst some 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:26.560 of them can be quite harmless, if left untreated for 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:29.400 a prolonged period of time, that's when they can get dangerous, 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:32.160 so like, sure you've done it, you're like, whoops, shouldn't 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:34.200 have done that? Just go and get checked anyway, it's 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:36.960 not gonna hurt. Just so this person that wrote in 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:39.600 knows there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Don't let your 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:42.000 friends make you feel embarrassed because you ask people about 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.480 their sexual health. If anything, your friends need. 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.640 To be doing it alrighty question number two. 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:50.720 Question two. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.720 three years. He's the most amazing guy. He treats me 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.000 exactly how I want to be treated, and he's my 0:11:56.200 --> 0:12:00.720 absolute best friend. But the last few months, to be honest, 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.760 nearly coming up to probably a year, our sex life 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:07.679 has been really, really grim. I am never in the mood, 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.760 and on the off chance that I am, he's not. 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:12.640 Am I just being lazy. I feel like we've been 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:14.880 together for such a long time. I guess it's now 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.840 normal to go without sex for two weeks, But I 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:20.080 can't help but wonder if it's normal for someone to 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:22.720 have a high sex drive in a past relationship and 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:25.760 in our first year to then go to happily going 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.480 without sex for weeks at a time. He's the most 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:30.840 amazing guy. I would be crazier to let him go, 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.920 but something just doesn't seem right. Is it me? Is 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.720 it him? Do I have a low sex drive? And 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:38.600 is it break up worthy? 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.600 Help? Dun dunt h. I actually love this question because 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.800 I think that so many people, especially in long term relationships, 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.880 go through these like ebbs and flows in how often 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.280 they're having sex, and then when you're not having sex 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:54.280 quote unquote like enough or compared to what you think 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:56.920 other people having sex, you then feel like, oh, there's 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.360 something wrong with me. Even if you are completely satisfied, 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.839 even if you and your partner are completely satisfied, there 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:06.720 is still this comparison that exists. And I know loads 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:10.000 of women who are in very long term relationships who 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:12.080 are not getting down and dirty three times a week 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.679 like they used to. They're having sex once a fortnite 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:17.280 and they are completely satisfied. They're completely happy with that. 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:20.360 Their partners are also completely satisfied, and therefore it is 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.480 not a problem. It's only a problem if it's a 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.000 problem for you. So if you feel like you're not 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:29.040 having sex enough, if you are wanting it and your 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:31.679 needs are not being met, then it becomes a problem, 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:33.800 but I think you know, everybody is different and there 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.440 are times in life where you go through these ebbs 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:38.880 and flows of libido where your libido will be higher 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:40.920 or lower. Brittany's looking at me like, no, this is 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:43.960 a fucking problem, and I'm like, happy, you haven't been 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:46.040 in a longer term term relationship for a really long 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:49.520 time and I don't need reminding of that. And I 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:51.160 was like, and don't tell me once a fortnite is 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.040 not enough, because right now that's all I can do. 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.640 Laura. Laura goes to me like, we just sat down 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:58.640 to do the questions, and Laura said, what do you 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:01.640 think about the that you know once sex every two 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:03.200 weeks in a long term relationship? And I was like, 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:04.640 I just want you to think about what you just 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:08.640 asked me. I was like, I mean, like, I haven't 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:10.160 been in the experience for a long time. I haven't 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:11.840 been in the position for a long time, but I 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:15.120 do still have some thoughts on it. Look, you are asking. 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:18.720 The fact that you're saying is this breakup worthy means 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.560 in your mind it is a problem. You aren't happy 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.600 with it. Whilst you said you've got a low sex drive, 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.520 you're still highlighting the fact that it's an issue for you. 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:28.920 It's playing on your mind and you're like, well, is 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:30.560 this the end? Do I need to leave and find 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:35.640 someone new? No, I don't think you do yet. Things 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:38.560 like this do happen in relationships, especially long term relationships. 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:40.960 You just get super comfortable with each other. And guys, 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:43.680 I have been in relationships for a total of ten years, 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.880 just not for ten years, so I know. But it's 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.160 sexy's going to die down. And there's a multitude of 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:58.880 reasons for that. Stress, fatigue, long distance contraceptions, sometimes different 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:02.080 medications you take. There is there are so many reasons 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.120 that you could be having all these sex drive. If 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.600 it's a continual problem, you can go to your doctor, 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:08.400 you can go to a GP and you can literally say, hey, 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:10.080 you got all those sex drive. There's things that they 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.160 can help you with. There's things they can suggest you 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.040 can work on as a couple. That's definitely a route 0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:16.840 you can take, So don't be shy on doing that. 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:18.680 So many people do that. It's just that not a 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.280 lot of people speak about the fact that they do it. 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:22.320 But that's why we're here. 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.280 And I also think, like I genuinely believe the more 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:26.800 that you have it, the more that you want it. 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.040 If I go X amount of time without sex, it's 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:30.800 the last thing I'm thinking about. But if you get 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:32.880 into a routine where you're having sex more often and 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.320 then you're turned on more often, and then of course 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:37.480 you're gonna want it more. So I do definitely think 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:38.800 that the more that you do it, the more that 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:40.840 you want it. So, no, it's not lazy, but maybe 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:42.960 sometimes you need to try and do something a little 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:46.040 bit different in order to kickstart that fire again, because 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:47.760 it's not just gonna come and bite you in the 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:49.280 ass out of know. Well, maybe he will come and 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:49.960 bite you in the ass. 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:50.840 Maybe that's what you need. 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:55.000 I don't think it's just gonna like reignite. I don't 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.240 think your sex drive is just gonna reappear. You do 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:00.600 have to try something different in all to try and 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.720 kind of like kickstart that libido. However, I did some 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:07.640 research into this. I love that, guys, And by research, 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.920 I mean I googled, so MoMA me A actually put 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:13.680 out a study. They just survey of a thousand women, 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:17.080 which doesn't sound like that many women, But I don't 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.880 know a thousand women myself. To ask, so I'm like, Okay, yeah, 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:21.200 this is a reasonable survey. 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:24.360 Do we have any research from reliable journical perioviod articles 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:26.600 or just go with Mama mea, just kind of go 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:28.760 with this is why I do the research. 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:30.920 No, but this is like, this is still a thousand 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.480 women will ask how often are you having sex? And 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:36.800 everybody said unanimously that they think you should be having 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:38.800 sex three times a week, And I'm like, three times 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.000 a week sounds exhausting. Guys like, I mean, I'm pregnant 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:42.760 and really tired, but that's all like a lot for 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:45.680 me right now. So I've I felt like far more 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:48.600 reassured by these answers and Okay. The most common answer 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:50.640 was once a week, with two hundred and seventy nine 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:53.520 women saying once a week, followed by twice a week 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:55.440 with one hundred and ninety four women saying they have 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:58.600 sex twice a week. Once a fortnight was the third 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:00.960 most popular answer with a undred and sixty year women, 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.040 and once a month with one hundred and fifty seven women. 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.000 Literally it came in fifth place those are having sex 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:09.160 three times a week, and they were mostly people who 0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:12.400 early on in their relationships and people who had been 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:15.679 in long term relationships were having sex once a week. 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.840 So this is them saying what they're actually doing at 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:20.959