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Speaker 1: It's time. Hello, how are you? Is your Friday morning?

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Speaker 1: Very good?

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Speaker 2: We've made it after several long weekends.

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Speaker 1: We had a five day up. Yeah. Temperature wakes hup,

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Speaker 1: don't therapy, it's like whim hoff. Yeah, I'm deep breathing

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Speaker 1: on the way down the free definitely cold.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got the share at for thirty John and

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Speaker 3: I back in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what am I doing? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what. Yeah, you know it's turned when

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Speaker 1: you do that thing where you can't get out of

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Speaker 1: the shower for ages. I'll just spend another fifteen to

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes in here. Yeah, perhaps I'll set down.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it is lovely. You're talking about people you're mistaken for. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is a fun thing. You're probably aware that Perth

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Speaker 1: is a very small city as cities go, making the

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Speaker 1: comedy scene even smaller. Yes, there is a comedian, another

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Speaker 1: comedian in Perth, and his name is John Pino. No really, no,

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Speaker 1: I know. And that's it's a very eusy thing to do. That,

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Speaker 1: isn't it to change your name to just you. We'll

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Speaker 1: get rid of that last syllable and we'll just put

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Speaker 1: an O on the other people do it for you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they'll do it for you.

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Speaker 2: When you do it for yourself, it's like you're calling

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Speaker 2: yourself sky May.

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Speaker 1: Did he call himself that?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: No? Or you should never come up with your your

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Speaker 1: own nickname. I'm sure he did. I found that out

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Speaker 1: when people told me to stop calling myself big Daddy.

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Speaker 1: You're not allowed to come up with your own nickname. Weird. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's another guy. He's an English fella as well, and

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Speaker 1: his name is John Pino. And you would be surprised

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Speaker 1: how many people have booked tickets to see each one

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Speaker 1: of us and gone to the wrong thinking we were

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Speaker 1: the other guy. It's almost to the point out it's

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Speaker 1: happened enough times that it's worth us learning a few

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Speaker 1: of each other's jobs solutely, so we can just just

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Speaker 1: to make sure everybody's happy, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: We were both on the same bill. He's a lovely guy.

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Speaker 1: Do a show together, yeah, yeah, yeah, the pinos Pos

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Speaker 1: we turned up the same were doing a gig once

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Speaker 1: and I was closed and he was MCing turned up

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Speaker 1: there was quite far away, so I got there sort

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Speaker 1: of halfway through the show. We'd only turned up in

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Speaker 1: the same In a fantastic display of unimaginative Britishness. We'd

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Speaker 1: both turned up in khaki green Parker's fishtail. Parker was

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Speaker 1: in green Parkers. I have been looking for somewhere to live.

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Speaker 1: You like moving about the place?

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Speaker 2: Yea?

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Speaker 1: Everytes kick? Did they kick you out of it? Is

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Speaker 1: that what happened to it? Crazy?

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Speaker 2: You are?

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Speaker 1: You said last week you were me and Mildred looking

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Speaker 1: for somewhere. Yeah, because I'm in a one bedroom flat

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Speaker 1: at the moment, she's going to move and we need

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Speaker 1: somewhere to go. It's crazy out there. It's not like

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Speaker 1: it used to be. You have to jump the gun

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Speaker 1: on everything. You have to sort of. They go, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you better, you better apply for them. It's like I

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Speaker 1: haven't looked at it. Yeah, yeah, I know you better apply.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I wouldn't start start moving your furniture in.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And if you don't get it the place.

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Speaker 3: Weeks of real estate people are offering fifteen hundred bucks more.

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Speaker 1: All the real estate agents look frazzled. They're all stressed

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Speaker 1: out that you know what I mean, that you've got

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Speaker 1: like this having to explain the same things to everybody

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Speaker 1: all the time, their airs falling out. They're on anti

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Speaker 1: anxiety medicated. They're quivering. These people. They've massively overworked these

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Speaker 1: real estate agents. But you're in such competition with people

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Speaker 1: now as well. You're eyeing off everybody else that comes

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Speaker 1: into the two, don't you the home open. Yes, it's especially

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Speaker 1: other couples. Same with that. I'm trying to put the

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Speaker 1: real estate agent off the other couples. All these oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know about them. I hope the neighbors are

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Speaker 1: fans are reggae because I reckon these guys saw them

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Speaker 1: on the crime stops. Pretty sure these guys are going

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Speaker 1: to plant a herb garden. She's like, oh, there's lots

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Speaker 1: of wardrobes, but you can't put a plant in there.

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Speaker 1: It's not big enough for a garden in that wardrobe.

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Speaker 1: By the way, I just see you're rocking up to

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Speaker 1: get a rind of him and John Pin there. I'm

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Speaker 1: turning up their fancy. I'm going in there. I'm going

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Speaker 1: in there in a like a very respectable person. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: good afternoon, I'm a very respectable man. What all these

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Speaker 1: people are doing here? I know. It's a very strange

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Speaker 1: thing about dear Trusty Mildred, though my trusty companion Mildred.

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Speaker 1: She's quite an animated talker, is mildred and is emotive

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Speaker 1: and excite. It's one of the things I love about

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Speaker 1: since we've been doing this looking for houses and stuff.

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Speaker 1: She's got a strange it's like her tone changes when

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Speaker 1: she's discussing what she likes about houses. Yeah, it's a

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Speaker 1: very weird. Yes, she's got a special house town. And

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Speaker 1: it sounds not unlike the you know, when you get

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Speaker 1: a reporter that's in the field, do you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, where everything's very fact based, it becomes very

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Speaker 1: sort of emotionless. You like, what do you think of

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Speaker 1: that place? She's like, there's like radio silence, there's a

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Speaker 1: delay and everything. John, I'm standing out in the front

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Speaker 1: of the house that we've just inspected, and as you

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Speaker 1: can see, it's a larger garden than we expected and

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Speaker 1: the grass is somewhat threadbare. Now, personally, I prefer small

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Speaker 1: courtyard at the front and the back of the house.

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Speaker 1: Although if we did move into this property, it would

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Speaker 1: increase our chances of getting a dog. Wow, back to you, John,

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Speaker 1: it's strange, So have you getting a dog? Factual? Do

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Speaker 1: I know? Dog? We'd like, we'd like, we'd like a lambradoodle.

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Speaker 1: Her family dog is a labrado. Want a ruby? Met

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Speaker 1: the labradoodle and she wants a lambradoodle like that? Half

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Speaker 1: a labradoodle. I've got a noodle, have you what happened?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: But I don't have the labor. Yeah, just the front end,

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Speaker 1: just on the two legs, terrifying the front end of

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Speaker 1: a poodle. Yeah, it's a nice dog. We would like

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Speaker 1: to get one and call it Gonzo. Yeah, Big Mumpet

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Speaker 1: is Mildred's dog. What is called Martha? And she wants

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Speaker 1: to get one and call it Martha. She just wants

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Speaker 1: to the same. I didn't expect there be any houses

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Speaker 1: that have pet. I think one of one of them

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Speaker 1: that we looked at yesterday, the owner was pet. I

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Speaker 1: didn't think that existed. Pretty good, you know, I mean

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Speaker 1: a library, it doesn't share, does it?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: So you know, I mean that's good. I'm very busy, man.

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Speaker 1: I'm not wildly passionate about a dog anyway. I mean,

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Speaker 1: one day settled, Yeah, of course, you know. Now I'll

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Speaker 1: be happy to get a roof over here. It's crazy, crazy.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how you've managed to find so many

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Speaker 1: of them, mind you your radio radio personality Dean Claires

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Speaker 1: walk into the home open, They're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's battle.

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Speaker 3: Well I found the didn't I didn't turn around.

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Speaker 1: I thought it wasn't mentioned the rent. I mentioned it once.

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Speaker 3: But I think John Pinder is with it for a

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Speaker 3: bit of a laugh and a Friday.

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Speaker 1: Most certainly is let us discuss this thing that I've found.

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Speaker 1: Shall we? Oh, you didn't sound wildly? How do you

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Speaker 1: feel about, you know, forced celebrations that cost your money

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Speaker 1: and things? Yeah, baby showers. This is one of those things. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm not knocking. Mom's here. Nice to have a baby shower,

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Speaker 1: especially if one of your friends organize it. This one,

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Speaker 1: this one, I'll read the headline Mum to be slammed

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Speaker 1: as breathtakingly self absorbed for three day baby shower plan.

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Speaker 1: So this friend of hers has talked to mum's net

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Speaker 1: to h three days shapable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So the idea is they go to a different city, right,

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Speaker 1: the guests are paying for this. By the way, we

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Speaker 1: go to a different city. It's a three day and

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Speaker 1: a two night and we're eating at different places every day.

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Speaker 1: On the second day we do all sorts of fun

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Speaker 1: activities that you all pay for, my good good friends,

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Speaker 1: you all pay for this thing, this lady. That's why

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Speaker 1: really I chose this one because I like that. A

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Speaker 1: friend called her breathtakingly self absorbed. It's just such a

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Speaker 1: poetic breathtaking Yeah, you're so self absorbed. My respiratory system

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Speaker 1: stopped working for a moment, just trying to hold a breath.

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Speaker 1: Yeah what what did you make a flying about her baby?

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Speaker 1: When they when they're this breathtakingly absorbed, when it's costing,

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Speaker 1: you have a cake and a cup of tea, and

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Speaker 1: I will bring all the ones. I love adore your baby,

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Speaker 1: but I hate your baby already before it's even born.

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Speaker 1: That's it. When you're carrying on like this, yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: when it's a small Yeah. No, I was oping that

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Speaker 1: you would say this, but it's the response that I had.

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Speaker 1: It's like, I don't even know if I like.

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Speaker 3: So to pay for accommodation and the rest, they still

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Speaker 3: expect give.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they still want to give. But wedding people

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Speaker 1: are the same like that either, And then sometimes wedding

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Speaker 1: people will go, don't worry about getting as a gift.

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Speaker 1: We've got everything we need. But if you want to

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Speaker 1: give us something, maybe present, maybe a week maybe a

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Speaker 1: week's rent would be you know, like maybe a couple

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Speaker 1: of hundred bucks.

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Speaker 3: Email you the my registered Yeah yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: There's something about requesting to be celebrated, ye at your expense.

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Speaker 1: It is that ruins the authenticity of a celebration. But

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Speaker 1: it's not like a birthday. You know, when it's a birthday,

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Speaker 1: you go, don't worry about my birthday and not bothered

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Speaker 1: about me birthday, and people will just because people are lovely,

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Speaker 1: They just go, I got you this thing. Just be

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Speaker 1: your friends have come, whereas if it was my birthday

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Speaker 1: that they came because they're liking it. Yeah, it's not

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Speaker 1: a stranger. They feel obliged. And this is three days.

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Speaker 1: You've got to take time off days, three days to

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Speaker 1: go to a baby. So she's the first person to

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Speaker 1: ever have had a baby in the world. Yeah, I'd

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Speaker 1: be saying to her, this better be some special baby.

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Speaker 1: This baby better change the This is a besides, I'm

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Speaker 1: taking a Yeah, I'm taking a three day holiday for

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Speaker 1: this baby. I don't even know if I like it,

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Speaker 1: even know what it's going to be. Yeah, this baby

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Speaker 1: might be a crop where one day and I'm showering

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Speaker 1: you with gifts and taking holidays for it. It's appalling.

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Speaker 3: Three days you want you want a headline active.

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Speaker 1: Babychella?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, before Music Festival, baby Stop Baby.

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Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle got attacks as well from meeting and saying

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Speaker 1: was that well Smith, Yeah, this is actually no.

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Speaker 2: I mean, as a performer, can I ask you on

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Speaker 2: a serious note, this is very disturbing to me because

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Speaker 2: you are in a position where not everyone.

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Speaker 1: In the room is going to like everything that you said. No,

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Speaker 1: of course we can't just go going up and taking

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Speaker 1: it to the comedian because you didn't like what they said. Well,

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Speaker 1: if to be honest, Jeffries rose to fame as well

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Speaker 1: that yeah, so if you want to come and give

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Speaker 1: me a slap and have it filmed any public, he's

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Speaker 1: good public. He's made a fortune by an Irish slap jumping.

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Speaker 1: He's a very nice man this weekend, famous than Steve Martis. Imagine,

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Speaker 1: imagine real, don't slap jumping. He's lovely. It does go

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Speaker 1: to show though, the status thing, doesn't it. You slap

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Speaker 1: Chris Rock, you'll get banned from the Oscars. It's not

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Speaker 1: good you You attacked Dave, pulling your arm. Did you

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Speaker 1: see his mess? Didn't he can't?

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Speaker 3: Good Lord, it wasn't good.

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Speaker 1: Imagine what they do to me. I'm very low status

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Speaker 1: comedians for security next week.

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Speaker 3: Thanks Marvelous take him in