Speaker 1: Laura, come on hello everyone, Hi girl, Hi, Hi, Happy Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Down Wood for the rest of the Downwood, downhill.
Speaker 3: For the round Wood, Lucky Maddie Jack.
Speaker 2: Down would for the rest of the week.
Speaker 4: Wow, Laura, I know it's really downhill from here everyone.
Speaker 5: I have been guys on the decaf coffees. I've never
Speaker 5: been a decaff for before. And there's a reason that
Speaker 5: I've been sitting on this for an hour and it's
Speaker 5: still half taste.
Speaker 3: Like tastes like does it taste as tho?
Speaker 4: You know you a decaf on me?
Speaker 3: I get hat pals, so I take a decaf in
Speaker 3: the afternoons.
Speaker 2: I would love someone who does decaf coffee on the
Speaker 2: rig to tell me what the point is.
Speaker 3: Is not good because I love the taste of nothing.
Speaker 1: I love the taste of coffee, but I don't like
Speaker 1: the caffeine gives me in the same way that I
Speaker 1: wish Red Bull would come out with a Red Bull
Speaker 1: without the garana.
Speaker 2: That is so interesting to me because the only reason
Speaker 2: why I drink coffee is for the buzz. I don't
Speaker 2: care about the taste. Just give me the buzz.
Speaker 4: No, I don't care about the buzz.
Speaker 5: I like the taste this still decaf tastes like you
Speaker 5: had a cup of coffee and then you accidentally tripped
Speaker 5: over when you're at the festival and it went on
Speaker 5: the ground and fell in some mud, and then you
Speaker 5: scooped it back into your cup and then you drunk it.
Speaker 1: That's what I thought about. It's just muty coffee. Why
Speaker 1: are you on the decaf for you've got the heart paler.
Speaker 5: I just felt like I'm not on the how heart
Speaker 5: palp train Mitch like on the Detox.
Speaker 4: No, I just feel like I was.
Speaker 5: I drink a lot of coffee because I like it,
Speaker 5: like three cups a day, and I just feel like
Speaker 5: it's too much now. So I'm trying to wind back
Speaker 5: to like one coffee and maybe a decaf or two,
Speaker 5: but I don't think I'm gonna be able to.
Speaker 3: Stick to it.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, if the show's boring, sorry, guys, Britain's
Speaker 1: asleep the show.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, do you remember yesterday guys, if you
Speaker 5: were listening, I tried to prank my boyfriend Ben. My
Speaker 5: partner lives over in Scotland, and I tried to convince
Speaker 5: him that I needed to earn some extra cash on
Speaker 5: the side. In a very unique way, and I have
Speaker 5: an update of.
Speaker 4: How that went.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's Laura. I don't know if you're across this,
Speaker 3: but it's I think it's going to happen.
Speaker 2: Well, that he's actually going to buy someone's going to
Speaker 2: buy it, but someone will All right, okay.
Speaker 1: There's a market for Britt's new product. We'll tell you
Speaker 1: about it coming up here at the pickup.
Speaker 5: So the last couple of days we've been trying to
Speaker 5: prank my boyfriend Ben.
Speaker 3: Long story short.
Speaker 5: We were talking about this woman in Singapore that's making
Speaker 5: absolute bank online by selling her farts in a jar.
Speaker 2: Hundreds like she's making like four No, I think it's
Speaker 2: a pop.
Speaker 4: It was like six hundred.
Speaker 3: Bucks or something, or seven hundred, a lot of more.
Speaker 2: It's more than what most people are making feed a
Speaker 2: day of work.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Then we had the idea, Britt, let's see if you
Speaker 3: can sell your fat.
Speaker 5: Well. I thought Ben, I thought it'd be funny. But
Speaker 5: I thought my partner Bannie lives over in Scotland. I
Speaker 5: thought he would be really against it, like be like
Speaker 5: there's no way. So I wanted to try and set
Speaker 5: him up and see what he would say.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So I took all my close friends off my Instagram
Speaker 5: list and just basically left Ben on there, so he's
Speaker 5: the only one that's going to see it. And then
Speaker 5: I made up a post and the post said, hey, guys,
Speaker 5: I'm just putting some feelers out before we go public.
Speaker 4: So stupid, would you buy my fat in a jar?
Speaker 5: And if so, would you buy it for three hundred
Speaker 5: and fifty dollars?
Speaker 2: That sounds like a bargain to And then I said,
Speaker 2: and then I had a unicorn that was.
Speaker 1: Doing a far so you put that on your close
Speaker 1: friend's story and just for it, and.
Speaker 4: I was waiting for him to take the bait.
Speaker 5: He took it straight away and the first thing he
Speaker 5: said was why would I buy it?
Speaker 3: I get them for free.
Speaker 2: It's very supportive, nice, very funny.
Speaker 5: And I obviously got highly offended because said I don't
Speaker 5: actually fuck, and I'm offended by that. But then I
Speaker 5: was really shocked by this. I thought he would say,
Speaker 5: there's no way in hell you're going to be selling
Speaker 5: your farts online.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine the Daily Mail articles Brittany Hockley sells
Speaker 2: farts in jar, not even for charity, just for.
Speaker 5: The Premier League footballers partner sells farts online, so I
Speaker 5: thought he was going to like cut it, and he.
Speaker 4: Was so supportive. He was really cute.
Speaker 3: Listen to this.
Speaker 6: Hr.
Speaker 7: Is that what has come down to?
Speaker 4: Really okay? That was first when he didn't know that
Speaker 4: was that wasn't supportive.
Speaker 5: That was where he was like, is this are we
Speaker 5: are we taking there's a.
Speaker 2: Tone in that, brit Surely you're not serious about this.
Speaker 5: And then when I told him it was serious and
Speaker 5: it was probably gonna get a charity, this is what
Speaker 5: he said, like.
Speaker 3: Do I feel like you need to do this?
Speaker 7: Probably not. Do I think it's a good idea?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 7: Will I support you regardless, yes, but I don't think
Speaker 7: I'll be a customer.
Speaker 2: So he said that is the wrong thing. He should
Speaker 2: be a customer. He should be putting top dollar forward.
Speaker 2: But that's why all of his girlfriends fast.
Speaker 5: That's what he said. He goes a geat him for free.
Speaker 5: I'm not paying for them, but he's he.
Speaker 4: Like, guys, the point is at the end of the day,
Speaker 4: he's supported venture.
Speaker 1: Did he send to them on WhatsApp? Is that what
Speaker 1: time did he send you? The go to the timestamp
Speaker 1: of those voice messages.
Speaker 4: Eight oh four pm.
Speaker 1: He's pretty good, Ben, because at eighth nine Ben Ben
Speaker 1: sent me this voice message.
Speaker 7: Seriously, I don't care what time it is in Australia
Speaker 7: right now, you need to wake up and sort this out.
Speaker 7: I this cannot happen, okay, Like you need to seriously
Speaker 7: get a move on and tell her, tell her she
Speaker 7: can't do it.
Speaker 1: And it's the screenshot of the whole conversation about the futs.
Speaker 3: He came to me to fix the mess literally.
Speaker 5: So it's almost like he doesn't That was four minutes later,
Speaker 5: so he said, yes, babe, I support you, then four
Speaker 5: minutes later told you to deal with me.
Speaker 3: It's even worse.
Speaker 2: He's like it comes across a jew that he's like
Speaker 2: so nice and supportive and then really behind the scenes.
Speaker 3: So sort this out.
Speaker 1: He is tony soprano, Mitch, sort this out. I don't
Speaker 1: care what time is. Yeah, No, I've got Paul. I've
Speaker 1: got Paul.
Speaker 5: Because he knows, you knows that I always go to
Speaker 5: Mitch with like my ideas that he would know.
Speaker 4: He probably thinks you're behind it.
Speaker 3: I'm such a yes man now, I'm such in a neighbor.
Speaker 2: Would you want to be behind that? Though it wouldn't nothin.
Speaker 3: All right, So successful prank, but he's not as sweet
Speaker 3: as you think.
Speaker 4: Oh so he doesn't support my fart in a jar?
Speaker 4: I'm so I would love to know.
Speaker 2: I truly, deeply, I know that this is only a prank,
Speaker 2: but there's a part of me that wants to know
Speaker 2: how much someone would sell, like pay for your farts?
Speaker 3: Why don't we actually put a call out?
Speaker 4: I'm not afraid I could make some meture bank this week.
Speaker 2: Ben said yes to you. I mean, let's pretend like
Speaker 2: you never heard that. Boysfound message, let's steamroll ahead with this.
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm going to kill him? What about me?
Speaker 1: Guys?
Speaker 2: Does anyone? It's a shame. They're good anyway, Laura, you've
Speaker 2: got something new this week? No, No, I've got something
Speaker 2: new and something exciting. Not a smelly would be though.
Speaker 2: Got a new family member joining the Johnson Burn household.
Speaker 3: We'll get out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's exciting, very family member.
Speaker 3: You're making an announcement next, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Special announcement. I'm not pregnant, though I know. I don't
Speaker 2: boil it those bread crumbs.
Speaker 3: Okay, anyways, on the pickup.
Speaker 2: So you guys know the last couple of weeks. My husband, Matt,
Speaker 2: he's been away in Vegas.
Speaker 4: And yeah, party boy.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: He's been over there for the football, having the time
Speaker 2: of his life.
Speaker 3: He was working. I didn't just leave you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but I've been following the Instagram. Doesn't
Speaker 2: look like he was doing a lot of work. He's
Speaker 2: been having a lot of fun.
Speaker 4: His work is watching football to experience in vague.
Speaker 3: It's not a bad job.
Speaker 4: Anyway.
Speaker 2: He left me with the children, my children that I'm
Speaker 2: also responsible for when he's not here.
Speaker 3: You had equal party making them.
Speaker 2: I got to do the best thing yesterday. So I've
Speaker 2: been wanting to get a kitten for so long, right,
Speaker 2: I can confirm that brit knows. I speak about it
Speaker 2: all the time. I've always grown up with cats. I mean,
Speaker 2: my Instagram handle is Lady and a Cat like. I
Speaker 2: used to always have cats, and Matt's kind of never
Speaker 2: really been that into it. But the girls, like Little
Speaker 2: Lola and Mary, my kids, they are obsessed with cats,
Speaker 2: and so we've been speaking about it more and more.
Speaker 2: And anyway, yesterday I took them out to the pound
Speaker 2: and we got there and it was just the best experience.
Speaker 2: So not the Pound's horrible. Please go on Adult Pets
Speaker 2: if you can. But there's a forty kittens there that
Speaker 2: have all coming. Apparently it's like kitten season. I didn't
Speaker 2: even know that was a thing, but apparently there's so
Speaker 2: many cats that are being dumped at pounds at the moment,
Speaker 2: and it's so sad. And we got there and we
Speaker 2: walked in and the girls were so beautiful and they
Speaker 2: went through and they were looking all the kittens and
Speaker 2: holding them and anyway, we picked our kitten, and the Lola,
Speaker 2: she was the one who kind of picked it. Don't
Speaker 2: sound too excited.
Speaker 3: I just have some thoughts on this. But you've waited
Speaker 3: for your husband to be out of the country to
Speaker 3: get a cat. Yeah, because yeah, I know Laura.
Speaker 4: Laura is one of my best friends.
Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you how this really went down. Yeah,
Speaker 3: this is topic.
Speaker 4: Laura has been trying to get a cat for a
Speaker 4: very long time.
Speaker 2: Matt is like, I deserve a kitten.
Speaker 4: Matt is like, I'm putting my foot down.
Speaker 5: I don't want one, so a She's emotionally manipulated Matt
Speaker 5: via her children. She's like, hey, girls, a cat would
Speaker 5: be really they don't know what cats are a kitten.
Speaker 4: Cute, Look how much you love it? This soddly and
Speaker 4: so you've gotten them the point of obsession.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, wait, Molly, maybe okay, her I tried
Speaker 2: to manipulate. She doesn't care anywhere near as much as
Speaker 2: I thought she would. But Lola cares. Lola's my youngest.
Speaker 2: She's three years old.
Speaker 4: Head Laura.
Speaker 5: I don't think Laura's We don't trust Lola's her Johnson
Speaker 5: desires and notes.
Speaker 2: We got in there and she found this one little kitten.
Speaker 2: It's the one that we're adopting, and she was carrying
Speaker 2: it around saying that she loved it. Have listened to this.
Speaker 2: He's frostberry Raspberry.
Speaker 5: Is your.
Speaker 3: Not your sister, you're.
Speaker 2: Your kitten, You're kitten?
Speaker 3: Who do you love? Oka?
Speaker 4: That's really cute.
Speaker 2: She was holding Anyway. I facetimed Matt yesterday straight. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I told him he wasn't thrilled by the idea, But
Speaker 2: now I'm like I was sending him photos and I
Speaker 2: was just expecting like a little bit more excitement from him, genuinely.
Speaker 2: But I know when he gets home, he's gonna love
Speaker 2: this cat and he meets it, he's going to fall
Speaker 2: in loft.
Speaker 3: She did him dirty, and you went.
Speaker 5: You went for the big guns while he was away
Speaker 5: because you knew that you could do whatever you wanted.
Speaker 5: You've got the house yourself. He can come back. He's
Speaker 5: not going to get rid of the cat. So you
Speaker 5: emotionally played. What a game of chess you played?
Speaker 2: How bad is it do you think on like the
Speaker 2: scale of on the scale of things that you do
Speaker 2: in your relationship when you try and get one past
Speaker 2: the keeper when your partner's away, going and getting a
Speaker 2: cat against their wheel.
Speaker 1: I think it's up there. I think it's out there
Speaker 1: as pretty bad, to be honest, although a lot of
Speaker 1: people do it though, Yeah, I reckon they would. If
Speaker 1: Matt ever wanted to divorce you, though, he would have
Speaker 1: such legs in court.
Speaker 3: The audio that we have from this show alone, he
Speaker 3: said he.
Speaker 2: Said to me, he was like, you always get your way.
Speaker 2: But he didn't say it in a nice way. He
Speaker 2: was like, do you know what He's like, I'm fine
Speaker 2: with the cat, but you always get your way.
Speaker 4: I mean, let's make you feel better. Thirty one and
Speaker 4: six five.
Speaker 5: If you're out there and you're making these kind of
Speaker 5: chess moves, your partner's away, like, call up and let.
Speaker 4: Us know, are you doing this stuff? Because I feel
Speaker 4: like it's no.
Speaker 2: There's absolutely there's got to be couples out there who
Speaker 2: were doing way worse than getting a cat while their
Speaker 2: partner's way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you get through the keeper while your
Speaker 1: partner was gone?
Speaker 2: So we were just talking about the fact that yesterday me, no,
Speaker 2: don't you dare, Brittany Hockley, don't you dare that we
Speaker 2: adopted a kitten and we're such good people. We got
Speaker 2: it from a pound. We're saving the life of this
Speaker 2: poor little innocent kitten.
Speaker 4: I keep saying we, but who made the decisions?
Speaker 2: So when I say we, I mean me and my
Speaker 2: two daughters, who are pretty much toddlers. But my husband,
Speaker 2: Matt was Look, he wasn't as keen on the idea
Speaker 2: of getting a cat as what I was. He said no,
Speaker 2: he said no, but then he went to Vegas and
Speaker 2: I did it anyway. And now he's going to grow, Laura, that.
Speaker 3: Is, so he's going to grow and take all your money.
Speaker 2: Well, then it would just be me and my cat. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and the kids deal with it?
Speaker 1: Are the kids the cad Well, there's a book in
Speaker 1: that there's a reality show.
Speaker 3: I'd watched that.
Speaker 1: So it goes thinking, what did you sneaky and past
Speaker 1: the keeper while your partner was away?
Speaker 2: Because I think a lot of people do this. I
Speaker 2: think a lot of people that you know, if you
Speaker 2: don't get exactly what you want in a relationship, sometimes
Speaker 2: you just have to wait for your husbands to do.
Speaker 1: In Vegas, well, britt, you are constantly away from your
Speaker 1: boyfriend Ben because he lives in over the other side
Speaker 1: of the world.
Speaker 4: Do you ask permission for anything though he's got no idea?
Speaker 3: What I do?
Speaker 4: That kid?
Speaker 5: I can live any life I want.
Speaker 3: What am I going to ask him? You and Laura
Speaker 3: are the worst partners in the world.
Speaker 5: I don't live with my partner, and I'm not married,
Speaker 5: and I don't have two kids.
Speaker 4: I live alone in another.
Speaker 1: Continents called or what did you hide from your partner?
Speaker 6: I hide ubery. I go crazy. I just buy so
Speaker 6: many things, like a meal for free, so innocent.
Speaker 3: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: So you just think you eat too much?
Speaker 1: Or no, my partner doesn't.
Speaker 6: Like getting uber eats because then he spends two hours
Speaker 6: trying to fly coming to eat.
Speaker 2: He just takes to make a decision that's annoying though, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're just ordering up.
Speaker 6: I've got two things, Sushi's and her Las Knapcacks, so
Speaker 6: I go crazy.
Speaker 2: That is innocent and sweet, and I think that that's
Speaker 2: okay that.
Speaker 3: How do you hide though?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 3: Does it go on the bank account? Did they ever check?
Speaker 6: No, it goes on my bank account. But then I'll
Speaker 6: hide the takeaway containers. So I'll put them directly in
Speaker 6: the outdoor bins.
Speaker 5: That is what if he takes a rubbisher, I.
Speaker 6: Could do the neighbors bins next time.
Speaker 1: They was a toxic don't give no ideas, Jamie High.
Speaker 1: What do you hide from your partner?
Speaker 3: I was in one way for the weekend.
Speaker 6: I knocked out a wall in our bedroom.
Speaker 4: Sorry, quickly take it back. Why did you knock a
Speaker 4: wall down?
Speaker 6: I was thirty four weeks pregnant and we were turning
Speaker 6: our walking robe into our nursery and my husband had
Speaker 6: been like, I'll get to it. I'll get to it,
Speaker 6: and then he went fishing for the weekend.
Speaker 3: So I got to it. I think that what did
Speaker 3: you What did you take to it? Like a sledgehammer?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I started with a sledgehammer.
Speaker 7: I did not finish the job.
Speaker 3: It was quite a tacky job, but it was started.
Speaker 2: At least I started it. I do like that you
Speaker 2: made enough of a mess that he then had to
Speaker 2: get it finished when he came home.
Speaker 4: He has a choice, I think everywhere.
Speaker 2: And now he's going to grow to love the nursery
Speaker 2: in the same way that Matt's going to grow to
Speaker 2: love the cat.
Speaker 4: No, he loves the hole in the wall because he
Speaker 4: ain't never fixed it. Did he? My god, he did?
Speaker 4: Actually we got it thwarted.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm encouraging.
Speaker 3: I'm encouraging this behavior.
Speaker 2: If your partner goes away, I enclined for you to
Speaker 2: do the things you've always wanted to do.
Speaker 4: I encouraging this.
Speaker 3: Jamie's knocking down at the wall, I get that. I
Speaker 3: get that.
Speaker 5: But buying an animal that you have to look after
Speaker 5: the next fifteen to twenty years, Laura, No.
Speaker 2: I know Britt, I joke, I joke. I do know
Speaker 2: Matt better than he knows himself, and he will grow
Speaker 2: to love this kitten so much. It's so beautiful. Now
Speaker 2: she speaks for Matt. I'm going to bring the I'm
Speaker 2: going to bring the kitten into the studio next week.
Speaker 3: Do not bring that ransom thing in this shoe, which
Speaker 3: is allergic. I'm allergic to cats.
Speaker 2: I'll wait until you're not here, and then I'll bring
Speaker 2: it in.
Speaker 3: Anyone, everything in your seat, and do we not bring
Speaker 3: that thing near me.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, Brassberry will be a coolie very soon.
Speaker 3: All right, let's go. We'll see you all tomorrow. Gorebares guys,