Speaker 1: I heard podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
Speaker 1: live on the free iHeart app. Now, Okay, Britt, how
Speaker 1: do you feel about small talk in general? Small talk
Speaker 1: makes me feel uncomfortable because I always wonder where am
Speaker 1: I going to take it?
Speaker 2: And then I feel like I'm on the spot.
Speaker 3: I could small talk my way out of anything. I
Speaker 3: don't love it, I don't get anything from it. I'd
Speaker 3: rather avoid it, but it doesn't.
Speaker 2: Make me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: The problem is this, Sometimes I think that I become
Speaker 1: the interviewer in a small talk situation where I always
Speaker 1: I just keep asking questions, asking questions, asking questions, and
Speaker 1: then eventually I ran out of questions to ask and
Speaker 1: waiting for the conversation to circle back around.
Speaker 2: But it doesn't.
Speaker 1: So I try and avoid it because and when I
Speaker 1: say avoid it, you can never avoid small talk. I
Speaker 1: try and avoid situations that put me into making small
Speaker 1: talk because I find it uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean, no one loves it, no one.
Speaker 3: There is no one that's like, oh, come, wait to
Speaker 3: go small talk tonight, like, but some people maybe don't
Speaker 3: really know how to avoid it or how to like
Speaker 3: escalate it to a medium.
Speaker 2: Talk or a yeah.
Speaker 1: But also some people are like super extroverted, and so
Speaker 1: they they don't even quote unquote making small talk doesn't
Speaker 1: touch the sides for them. I think I'm a hybrid.
Speaker 1: I definitely would call myself an extrovert in some things,
Speaker 1: but when it's new people and new environments, I'm quite
Speaker 1: happy to take the back seat if someone else is
Speaker 1: wanting to step into that.
Speaker 3: I've never seen you take the back seat anywhere anywhere.
Speaker 1: It's not what it is, no, But I don't enjoy
Speaker 1: it at all, Like I do really feel like it
Speaker 1: is a task to make small talk and to keep
Speaker 1: the conversation going. But sometimes I feel as though I
Speaker 1: have to, and sometimes they also maybe.
Speaker 2: This is in my own insecurities.
Speaker 1: I think as though it's almost expected because we work
Speaker 1: in a role where we talk all the time, so
Speaker 1: people are like, oh, well, Laura can do this, and
Speaker 1: so I feel as though I walk into some of
Speaker 1: those environments where it's like new people or it's a
Speaker 1: work thing, and I'm like I'm on and I'm singing
Speaker 1: and dancing, and I go home and a crash because
Speaker 1: I'm so overstimulated by having to put on a show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, the reason why I want to bring this up
Speaker 1: is because firstly, I think a lot of people like
Speaker 1: struggle to get conversations out of the small talk conversation
Speaker 1: purgatory and into something that feels a little bit more
Speaker 1: media or it feels like it's a back and forth.
Speaker 1: But there is a guy named Charles Jewick. Now he's
Speaker 1: a Politzer Prisman and he's also coined a super communicator.
Speaker 1: We recently interviewed him on our podcast Life on Cut podcast.
Speaker 1: He's brilliant if you want to communicator, if you want
Speaker 1: to learn a little bit about communicating, that is the
Speaker 1: episode to go and listen to. But I actually found
Speaker 1: an article that he has been quoted in and it
Speaker 1: was talking about how to get deeper on a first date.
Speaker 1: Now I found this so funny because some of these questions,
Speaker 1: they've called them magical questions, magical questions that take small
Speaker 1: talk to deep talk. If someone asked me these questions
Speaker 1: on a first date, I think I'd have to up
Speaker 1: and leave.
Speaker 3: So this article isn't just about generally taking chat to
Speaker 3: the next level.
Speaker 1: You know what, dates only it doesn't just have to
Speaker 1: be first dates.
Speaker 2: But is that what he is saying it's first dates only.
Speaker 1: It was about how to connect on a deeper level.
Speaker 1: But it was with people that you would be making
Speaker 1: small talk with. Right, So imagine going to a work party,
Speaker 1: you're making small talk, first date small talk, you're just
Speaker 1: in the getting to know each other phase, and then
Speaker 1: someone throws out one of these questions. I'm going to
Speaker 1: ask you what a coin to the five Magical questions,
Speaker 1: and you can answer them as honestly or you can
Speaker 1: tell me where to go.
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: Question number one, what are you excited about right now?
Speaker 2: My wedding? That's actually a good one.
Speaker 1: Because someone could get into more debt. What about your wedding?
Speaker 2: I'm not getting married for on a first date?
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah.
Speaker 2: Number two, if you could wake.
Speaker 1: Up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability.
Speaker 2: What would it be to be able to fly?
Speaker 3: Great?
Speaker 1: Okay, but that doesn't feel particularly deep. He's my answers.
Speaker 2: Don't ask me a question then tell me my answer
Speaker 2: is wrong. What is it about flying?
Speaker 1: Okay? Number three, imagine someone who you don't know asking
Speaker 1: you this, when's the last time you cried in front
Speaker 1: of another person?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: I think that's a good question.
Speaker 3: I mean I cry all the time on the podcast
Speaker 3: in front of loads of people, like all the interviews
Speaker 3: that we do.
Speaker 2: You and I cry in front of each all all
Speaker 2: the time?
Speaker 1: Are you true?
Speaker 2: This is true?
Speaker 1: We do, but I mean like a real cry, like
Speaker 1: a oh my dog.
Speaker 2: I cry a lot in front of my dog. And
Speaker 2: then I say, don't tell anyone, okay. I won't critique
Speaker 2: your answer.
Speaker 1: Question number four, do you have a secret hunch about
Speaker 1: when or how you will die?
Speaker 2: Can we just stop down?
Speaker 1: This could be someone at a work party asking you these,
Speaker 1: and these feel deeply inappropriate.
Speaker 2: All the questions until now are fine?
Speaker 3: Asking someone about their like impending death is not okay
Speaker 3: when you don't even know that.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, this one's going to really send you into
Speaker 1: out of space. How do you feel about your relationship
Speaker 1: with your mother?
Speaker 2: I love my mom. I have no trauma. Imagine ask
Speaker 2: it though.
Speaker 1: Imagine if you did have trauma and some person who's
Speaker 1: read a super communicator's book who barely knows you and
Speaker 1: wants to take small talk to medium talk ask you
Speaker 1: out of nowhere about your relationship with your mum. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I think that's small talk that has a
Speaker 1: purpose at a place, No, I.
Speaker 2: Think you can definitely. Look I'm not a polite surprise
Speaker 2: winner Charles.
Speaker 1: Sorry, but I do love Charles as well.
Speaker 2: Not criticizing him, but I feel like I'm good at this.
Speaker 2: I am the interviewer in every relationship I've got. When
Speaker 2: I went into the I'm a slebrity.
Speaker 3: Jungle, no one even knew my name, but I asked
Speaker 3: everyone every single thing about them.
Speaker 2: I genuinely love it.
Speaker 3: I think the key to it is all you have
Speaker 3: to do is find common ground.
Speaker 2: So you need to find a common interest with someone.
Speaker 3: Then the second you have that, they're going to feel
Speaker 3: more comfortable, and then you ask questions about it, but
Speaker 3: not that.
Speaker 2: You just have to ask like what is it about
Speaker 2: that that makes you excited?
Speaker 3: Or why? What is it about that that made you
Speaker 3: want to go into that industry? Or do you think
Speaker 3: you'll be in that industry forever? And if not, what
Speaker 3: would you do instead? There are so many questions that
Speaker 3: aren't like hey, do you have some trauma bond with
Speaker 3: your mom? Like that's crazy to me to ask on
Speaker 3: a first date or something to me?
Speaker 1: There are some things, yes, I mean everyone's heard the whole,
Speaker 1: like ask an open question that doesn't have a yes
Speaker 1: no answer, like that's kind of like one oh one
Speaker 1: of interviewing. But there are some things, regardless of how
Speaker 1: magical a question might be, you should not ask if
Speaker 1: you don't know someone well enough.
Speaker 2: There's a level, there's a level of.
Speaker 1: Depth that we just don't need with everyone because also
Speaker 1: no one cares.
Speaker 2: You don't care about if you're a stranger at a
Speaker 2: work party. You don't care what Sally's mom's doing.