Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Order
Speaker 1: Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we
Speaker 1: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
Speaker 1: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
Speaker 1: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
Speaker 1: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through
Speaker 1: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money podcast and
Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, it is Friday,
Speaker 4: which means it is time to get my little team.
Speaker 4: It's actually just Jessica together to celebrate you, guys, my
Speaker 4: incredible She's on the Money community today, misterss Gricci. She's
Speaker 4: got a heap of money wins that we are going
Speaker 4: to be sharing from our community. I get to share
Speaker 4: Bex Broke tips, which I'm very excited about. We're going
Speaker 4: to be helping to answer a very juicy money question,
Speaker 4: which this week is all about X repayments. I promise
Speaker 4: it's more exciting than just EX repayments. And we're going
Speaker 4: to be unpacking something that you slid into our DMS
Speaker 4: about which this week we are talking about sharing the
Speaker 4: cost of visiting home when you're living overseas with a
Speaker 4: partner that you moved away for. I feel like that'll
Speaker 4: be really good. But before we get there, Jess, where's Beck?
Speaker 2: She's enjoying sunny Queensland?
Speaker 4: She got a girlfriend and bushed us. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: one out of ten cannot recommend.
Speaker 2: But the picks are real cue, so we can't be too.
Speaker 4: She looks really cute. I mean, I recommend that everybody
Speaker 4: goes on holidays, but like, does she have to leave last?
Speaker 4: We miss you? Yeah, but how's your week being Jess?
Speaker 4: You didn't come on holidays?
Speaker 2: Sadly no, But there's been lots going on this week.
Speaker 2: She's in the money HQ where shooting lots of content
Speaker 2: for something very exciting, which she's coming out soon.
Speaker 4: What have I been trying to kill me? Because I
Speaker 4: keep trying to share it online? And she's like, stop
Speaker 4: telling people what we're working on? Is she in this room?
Speaker 2: No, she's not.
Speaker 4: It's the investing course.
Speaker 2: So that's been really fun. Apart from that, just working
Speaker 2: our lives away. Nothing exciting to report in my world.
Speaker 2: How do the things have been in your world?
Speaker 4: As shit show? So last weekend my husband was playing
Speaker 4: soccer and got in a little bit of a bingal.
Speaker 4: He jumped ahead the ball, which sounds real fancy. I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh yeah, my husband heard of the ball. Well he didn't,
Speaker 4: well did he? Because he got knocked, fell down, got
Speaker 4: taken to the hospital and we thought, okay, cool, Like
Speaker 4: he's got a concussion. That's a pretty standard I would
Speaker 4: say injury for playing soccer. I didn't think it was
Speaker 4: that much of a contact sport. Turns out it is.
Speaker 4: Because the man has two broken ribs, a punctured lung,
Speaker 4: a ac separation in his shoulder, a fractured scapular, and
Speaker 4: is recovering from a concussion. He did a really good
Speaker 4: job go hard or go home, and somehow, in addition
Speaker 4: to all of that, he managed to dislocate his sternam
Speaker 4: as well.
Speaker 2: Just to cheirund top, just go hard or.
Speaker 4: Go home, sir. So we went from our local hospital,
Speaker 4: we went to Cabrini and they said this is a
Speaker 4: bit too serious. So we spent a few days in
Speaker 4: the Alfred where everyone was so nice. I actually met
Speaker 4: a few nurses who were like, yep, so Steve, you've
Speaker 4: got your medication. Yep. Also, we love your podcast.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, thank you.
Speaker 4: It was a lot. But we are now at home,
Speaker 4: thank god. I'm working out what next steps are. Oh,
Speaker 4: so that has taken up. I would say most of
Speaker 4: the week we have been doing content, but we also
Speaker 4: recorded a business Bible episode before and I was alluding
Speaker 4: to how the business doesn't stop with you're the owner,
Speaker 4: and I feel like this is the perfect example. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I have so much going on in my personal life,
Speaker 4: but like work just has to get done, doesn't it. Jess,
Speaker 4: It's crazy she could call in six. Sometimes we're all.
Speaker 2: Sending all of our love to poor Steve. O you.
Speaker 2: He now has to do double the way he.
Speaker 4: Is lapping it up. And I laughed before because I'm
Speaker 4: barthing my baby and my husband now.
Speaker 2: Pulling double duty.
Speaker 4: I love it. All. Right, let's get into the episode, Jess.
Speaker 4: I want to know what community money wins have you
Speaker 4: brought to the table this week?
Speaker 2: Alrighty, first thing, this week. I've got a money in
Speaker 2: from Chelsea who said money win. My daughter paid for
Speaker 2: her coffee and my coffee using her own money for
Speaker 2: her money box, which is so cute, really wholesome, teaching
Speaker 2: good habits. Next, I've got a money win from Robin
Speaker 2: who said it was her birthday last week. Have you
Speaker 2: had a birthday? Took full advantage all of the freebies
Speaker 2: she got them from Sophora, from Mecca, Crispy Kream and
Speaker 2: Boost Juice as.
Speaker 4: Wow, okay, genius. I always say I'm going to do
Speaker 4: that and then always forget.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the one I will always remember is Mecca. But
Speaker 2: like there's so many out.
Speaker 4: There because Mecca are really good at it.
Speaker 2: You can collect it for a while.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Like they also send me an email reminder and
Speaker 4: say your little birthday gift is here. And I got
Speaker 4: mine in June and it was like full like a
Speaker 4: skin care range be.
Speaker 2: For real amazing. Ye. Next, I've got a money you
Speaker 2: win from Alana, who said money win. I was able
Speaker 2: to put one and twelve dollars towards the little actionable
Speaker 2: steps to moving my family over to Australia. She said.
Speaker 2: This is the first month she started planning to help
Speaker 2: them make this move and she feels like she's making
Speaker 2: really great progress. Oh, I love this, absolutely incredible. Then
Speaker 2: I've got a money you win from Caitlin, a bit
Speaker 2: of a theme this week. She said, money win. I
Speaker 2: went to collect my very humble Level one Mecca Beauty
Speaker 2: Loop box, but they were out of level one boxes
Speaker 2: and they were out of level two boxes, so she
Speaker 2: got a level three box.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, money win. I feel like Mecca are
Speaker 4: going have to start paying us.
Speaker 1: Joel.
Speaker 4: If you're loosening, you just call me up, because not
Speaker 4: only have we spoken about you on the last two episodes,
Speaker 4: I did a money diary yesterday Jess with a girl
Speaker 4: who works at Mecca, and all she did was like
Speaker 4: rave about how I've been there for five years. It's
Speaker 4: the best job I've ever had, Like it's incredible, and
Speaker 4: I'm just like.
Speaker 2: What are we Like the staff discount is schmick too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you used to work at Mecca.
Speaker 2: I miss that. Like I said, have to hit her
Speaker 2: money to her stuff. Anyone's to share their meke a
Speaker 2: discount with us, We'll make your budget for you. Lastly,
Speaker 2: this week, I've got a money win from Kim, who
Speaker 2: said she has set up an auto investment every four
Speaker 2: night so that the money is going to auto debit
Speaker 2: into her micro investing account. Oh, I love this, and
Speaker 2: I just think that that's such a good habit. If
Speaker 2: you're someone who forgets turn on the auto debit, let
Speaker 2: it just tick away and then you're investing without even
Speaker 2: having to think about it.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's genius. Jess, like, as always, I'm
Speaker 4: going to definitely advocate for everybody investing because like, you
Speaker 4: can literally invest with one cent nowadays, Like, where's your excuse? Yeah,
Speaker 4: be for real, Well that's not even an ad I'm like,
Speaker 4: just go invest. I don't even care what platform you use.
Speaker 4: Just put your money where it needs to go to
Speaker 4: put you in the best possible position when you're getting older.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and even just the little bits. I know, cost
Speaker 2: of living is really hard right now, but a lot
Speaker 2: of platforms, I know shares Us does it, I know
Speaker 2: quite a few others do it. You can round up
Speaker 2: your purchases so if you spend a dollar, ninety five
Speaker 2: five cents goes into your account and you can choose
Speaker 2: to invest it. And I think I know that it's
Speaker 2: really hard because it seems like we all are so
Speaker 2: skint right now we are. It's really really tough to
Speaker 2: prioritize things like that, but those little features that can
Speaker 2: get you started, even if you feel like it's small,
Speaker 2: it adds up. Just like some of our our listeners
Speaker 2: were saying, all.
Speaker 4: Right, Jess, I have the broke tips. They have actually
Speaker 4: come from Beck. Beck has given me two community ones,
Speaker 4: and then I'm going to have to come up with
Speaker 4: my own. She didn't help me with that, which I
Speaker 4: feel like is quite rude. So my first broke tip
Speaker 4: to share with you guys is from Jess. Jess sent
Speaker 4: Beck a lovely message. It says, hey, Beck, I love
Speaker 4: your work. I have a broke tip for you. I
Speaker 4: understand it doesn't apply to everybody, but potentially get a
Speaker 4: job that provides accommodation. I have been doing this for
Speaker 4: four years and it has allowed me to save so
Speaker 4: much money which I'm now able to use to pursue
Speaker 4: so many of my goals and save lots along the way.
Speaker 4: Jobs in agriculture, healthcare and mining, in home care so
Speaker 4: like elderly or childcare or becoming an no pair are
Speaker 4: the main industries I know of that do this, but
Speaker 4: I'm sure there are so many others. I hope this helps.
Speaker 2: That is actually such a good tip. I know that
Speaker 2: if you do snow season a lot of the time,
Speaker 2: if you work at the resource, you can stay out
Speaker 2: there for free. A lot of your meals and stuff
Speaker 2: are covered too.
Speaker 4: Like turbo charges your savings because you'll have way less
Speaker 4: bills and you won't have to pay rent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is the biggest expense arguably for me.
Speaker 4: That's a good one, So thanks Jess. Also, great name.
Speaker 4: All right, The next broke tip jests comes from Gladys.
Speaker 4: And I say Gladys because this broke tip has come
Speaker 4: from someone who said, can you please make up a
Speaker 4: name for me instead of my actual name when you
Speaker 4: read it out, so it goes, Hey, guys, I have
Speaker 4: a broke tip. Because you were discussing cleaning products the
Speaker 4: other day. Everyone forgets we do though. I have a
Speaker 4: whole highlight section on my Instagram for me cleaning things
Speaker 4: if anyone's interested. So, dishwashing powder is so good and
Speaker 4: so cheap. Don't waste your money on pods. It's four
Speaker 4: dollars and lasts for ages. You can also sprinkle a
Speaker 4: little bit into the dishwasher directly, as well as in
Speaker 4: the tablet holder, so it uses the detergent in the
Speaker 4: pre wash and saves water as you don't need to
Speaker 4: rinse before it goes in. I feel like that's so smart.
Speaker 4: I haven't thought about dish washing powder in a really
Speaker 4: long time.
Speaker 2: No or where to put it either. To be honest,
Speaker 2: I never would have even thought twice about that. Very smart.
Speaker 4: So smart do you use rinse? Aid?
Speaker 2: Is that the thing that you eat the liquid?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like the liquid. It's often blue, and it
Speaker 4: goes in your dishwasher where the little flashy light will be.
Speaker 4: I feel like we used to.
Speaker 2: I think that's something that like cozy living life like,
Speaker 2: haven't thought about that in a long time.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, so I've always thought about that because like rinse,
Speaker 4: that sounds like a scam to me. It reads scam.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, morning fresh, like be for real. I just
Speaker 4: fill it up with vinegar.
Speaker 2: There you go, and it works like the really well
Speaker 2: the Alan Key of the cleaning world. She does it.
Speaker 4: All all right, Jess. I have a broke tip and
Speaker 4: it involves washing washing machines, not dish washes. So we're
Speaker 4: on theme for today, and it involves making sure that
Speaker 4: you are washing all of your clothes in cold water
Speaker 4: instead of warm water. Okay, so quick back of the
Speaker 4: envelope calculations over the period of an entire year, assuming
Speaker 4: that you are doing one load every single day of
Speaker 4: the year, like a lot of laundry. I'm sorry, I've
Speaker 4: got a baby art fair, so this makes sense. But
Speaker 4: you're running with a kilowatt average ofero point three four,
Speaker 4: So thirty four cents per load of power is used.
Speaker 4: Quick back of the envelope calculation means that it will
Speaker 4: cost you eleven dollars for a year of cold washes
Speaker 4: versus ninety nine dollars for a year of warm washes.
Speaker 2: There you go. You're welcome.
Speaker 4: Also, if you're using hot, it would be more, but
Speaker 4: I didn't work that out.
Speaker 2: You're using hot, you might shrink You're really nice, yellow jumper,
Speaker 2: and then you'll be sad.
Speaker 5: Washes.
Speaker 4: Do you actually use your washing machine on hot Jessica?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well not anymore. I think, wow to me in
Speaker 2: my brain, it makes it cleaner, don't don't. It's like
Speaker 2: when I wash the dishes, I will burn my hands
Speaker 2: skelting hot because I'm like, it's cleaner than if I
Speaker 2: washed it in like kind of warm water.
Speaker 4: I mean, boiling water is definitely like sanitized. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: like is warm water cleaner than cold water?
Speaker 2: Probably not.
Speaker 4: I get where the logic is kind of kind I.
Speaker 2: Didn't say I was an expert. I just said I
Speaker 2: thought what I thought.
Speaker 4: But I've always done things on cold because I'm always
Speaker 4: so anxious of ruining stuff. And the other day I
Speaker 4: ruined a whole load of washing by putting Harvey's baby
Speaker 4: stuff all together. And now his white baby cloths are
Speaker 4: blue because I put a new pair of like those
Speaker 4: dungarees in the wash that were navy blue, and so
Speaker 4: now everything's blue. But lucky, here's a boy, and that
Speaker 4: all makes sense.
Speaker 2: Perfect. It's just new clothes.
Speaker 4: It's like having a whole new wandering exactly. So don't
Speaker 4: do what I do, because that's not a broke tip.
Speaker 4: But cold washing machine cycles, it's not going to be
Speaker 4: cleaner if it's hotter.
Speaker 2: It's a game changer, exactly.
Speaker 4: You're going to save money, and we love this for
Speaker 4: us also, Jess, it's better for the environment.
Speaker 2: Okay, Julian, let's go to a.
Speaker 4: Really quick break on the flip side. We're going to
Speaker 4: be talking about hex repayments. Which don't sound that sexy,
Speaker 4: but we're going to make them sexy. And we are
Speaker 4: also going to be unpacking something that you slid into
Speaker 4: our DMS about this week. We are going to be
Speaker 4: talking about sharing the costs to visit home when you've
Speaker 4: moved overseas to live with a partner, so guys, don't
Speaker 4: go anywhere.
Speaker 2: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's
Speaker 2: money dilemma.
Speaker 4: Hi. There, have you got a money dilemma you just
Speaker 4: can't solve? The Sheese on the Money team is here
Speaker 4: to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
Speaker 4: and small, to answer your most burning life, career and
Speaker 4: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
Speaker 4: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
Speaker 4: just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a
Speaker 4: listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 5: Hello. I'm reaching out because I'm in a bit of
Speaker 5: a pickle as my hex debt is currently sitting at
Speaker 5: ninety eight thousand dollars. I did two undergraduate degrees and
Speaker 5: then followed by a master's which obviously took up a
Speaker 5: large chunk of that, and I graduated in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 5: I'm making the compulsory repayments out of my pay however,
Speaker 5: saying thanks to our friend indexation, it is going up
Speaker 5: and up. I've recently received a large amount of inheritance
Speaker 5: at about one hundred thousand K around that, and I
Speaker 5: don't necessarily feel comfortable putting my family's harder and money
Speaker 5: towards my HEX. But I'm only learning now, I guess
Speaker 5: the real repercussions of having such a large HEX set,
Speaker 5: whether it comes to my tax return, borrowing capacity. And
Speaker 5: it's just on my mind constantly how it's got so
Speaker 5: so big, and yeah, my compulsory or payments aren't doing anything.
Speaker 5: But I don't really know where to go from here.
Speaker 5: And I'd love some advice.
Speaker 4: All right, Jess in this situation, what would you do?
Speaker 2: It's hard because I totally understand the sentiment of not
Speaker 2: wanting to, you know, feeling like it's not a good
Speaker 2: use of the money. But at the same time, I
Speaker 2: kind of think that you know, you're acknowledging it to
Speaker 2: reducing your borrowing capacity, it's causing problems a tax time,
Speaker 2: all of those things. I think removing that mental load
Speaker 2: from you is something that your loved one would see
Speaker 2: as a good thing. And if using that money to
Speaker 2: pay off that debt is going to make you feel
Speaker 2: a bit better, I also see value in that as well.
Speaker 2: But that being said, you know we've said before you
Speaker 2: don't have to diresh to pay off your HEX. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I've worked in the inheritance space for a number of
Speaker 4: years now, and I mean I don't now technically, but
Speaker 4: I would be fiercely protecting that inheritance so that it
Speaker 4: can go towards something thing that is tangible. So it
Speaker 4: can go towards, you know, your first property, or it
Speaker 4: can go towards shares that are going to help you
Speaker 4: in your future. Your HEX debt is something that while
Speaker 4: it does reduce your borrowing capacity, it's not the end
Speaker 4: of the world. Like, if you lose your job tomorrow
Speaker 4: right now, you have that plus hundred thousand dollars asset
Speaker 4: that's going to help you. Nobody is going to come
Speaker 4: for you to keep paying off your hextet if you
Speaker 4: can't work tomorrow. And I think that that is the
Speaker 4: difference here in making sure that you're putting future you first. Like, yes,
Speaker 4: being in debt, it is not sexy, It is not nice,
Speaker 4: But HEX kind of sits in the middle of being
Speaker 4: a good and a bad debt. It's what we often
Speaker 4: refer to as an okay debt because ultimately, if you're
Speaker 4: in financial distress, you're not going to be paying it back. Yes,
Speaker 4: it does reduce your borrowing capacity, but if you then
Speaker 4: pay off your HEX completely with that amount of money,
Speaker 4: you're not going to be talking about borrowing capacity because
Speaker 4: you don't have a deposit. So I think it's really
Speaker 4: important to go, well, how do I actually on this
Speaker 4: money in the best way possible, And that might be
Speaker 4: by not paying off your HEX and putting it aside,
Speaker 4: putting it into an investment for the short period of
Speaker 4: time so that it can make some money, maybe a
Speaker 4: high interest savings account, so that it is working while
Speaker 4: you're doing life and making a decision later. Potentially paying
Speaker 4: off your HEX will mean that, yeah, you kind of
Speaker 4: get back to ground zero, But is that actually something
Speaker 4: that is honoring the money and the life of the
Speaker 4: person who gave it to you? And I think that
Speaker 4: to me, that would be the more important factor here, Like, yes,
Speaker 4: pragmatically you could pay off your HEX step, but is
Speaker 4: that that tangible asset that hopefully creates long term family wealth,
Speaker 4: probably not. And HEX over the long term is not
Speaker 4: going to be the thing that cribbles you. Yes, it
Speaker 4: takes back your taxable income, but I don't think that
Speaker 4: that's the worst thing in the entire world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you want more info on that, we've
Speaker 2: got two episodes that I think that you will find
Speaker 2: really helpful, how to treat an inheritance with the respect
Speaker 2: it deserves and Indexation and Hex, which will link in
Speaker 2: the show notes for you.
Speaker 4: All Right, Jess, I feel like that it's up the
Speaker 4: Hex conversation, So let's dive into our juicy DM. Are
Speaker 4: you ready?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Yes, all right, So this week we got a DM. Hi, guys,
Speaker 4: I need advice. I met my partner when I was
Speaker 4: living abroad in America. We did a couple of years
Speaker 4: long distance before I finally decided to move there permanently.
Speaker 4: It was a really hard choice because ideally I wanted
Speaker 4: him to move to Australia and leaving my family, who
Speaker 4: I'm very close with, was really hard. But in the
Speaker 4: end it made the most sense as I didn't have
Speaker 4: a job at the time and he was trying to
Speaker 4: grow his career where he was. I've been here for
Speaker 4: more than a year and a half now, and I've
Speaker 4: flown home to see my family three times. I've asked
Speaker 4: him to contribute to the cost of the flight, as
Speaker 4: it's very expensive for me to fly twenty plus hours,
Speaker 4: but he said it's not him flying, so it's not
Speaker 4: his cost to pay. He also doesn't think I need
Speaker 4: to be visiting as often as I do. I think
Speaker 4: he should be contributing, seeing as I'm the one that
Speaker 4: moved and the reason I'm coughing up thousands of dollars
Speaker 4: on flights is due to this decision. I don't regret
Speaker 4: it at all, and I love our life, but it's
Speaker 4: starting to feel really unfair.
Speaker 2: What do you think, Oh, it's hard. I fully agree that.
Speaker 2: I think that you've picked up your life, You've uprooted
Speaker 2: it's I think it's extremely reasonable to expect a level
Speaker 2: of contribution to that. Like if the roles were reversed
Speaker 2: and he'd moved here for you, and you were saying,
Speaker 2: my partner wants me to contribute his flights home, I
Speaker 2: would say, yeah, sounds fair. To be honest, three times
Speaker 2: in a year and a half feels like a lot
Speaker 2: to me. I don't know like hard to saybe.
Speaker 4: There's like weddings or something along the way I really
Speaker 4: had to come home for. But there's also like no
Speaker 4: hard and fast rule of how many times you should be.
Speaker 2: Completely especially if you're really close to your family. I
Speaker 2: can understand that being far away from them would be
Speaker 2: really challenging, and so I think I do think it's
Speaker 2: reasonable for you to ask him to contribute in some
Speaker 2: way because you've literally had to start over. Like for him,
Speaker 2: it's been really easy, like his partner's come to live
Speaker 2: with him, and you know, he's just living his life
Speaker 2: as normal. But you may had to find a new
Speaker 2: job and probably buy a heap of new stuff because
Speaker 2: it would have been hard to ship everything over. And
Speaker 2: you've left your family, and you've left, you've got to
Speaker 2: make new friends, and you have to find a new
Speaker 2: favorite yoga studio area. You've really started from ground zero,
Speaker 2: And I don't want to minimize that, because that's such
Speaker 2: a big thing to do, even if it is for
Speaker 2: somebody that you love. It seems like the least he
Speaker 2: could do is help you pay to fly home, because
Speaker 2: he doesn't have to do that.
Speaker 4: I agree, but I think we need to also zoom
Speaker 4: out a bit on this conversation and ask how as
Speaker 4: a couple you guys are managing finances completely because we
Speaker 4: know from the message you sent that he's focusing on
Speaker 4: his career and at the time you didn't have a job.
Speaker 4: So how are you splitting rent? How are you you know,
Speaker 4: are you living in his house rent free?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: There are lots of conversations to have around this, but
Speaker 4: I would actually zoom out and have a chat about
Speaker 4: how is a couple do we manage finances? I'm assuming
Speaker 4: this is a very serious relationship. You were together for
Speaker 4: a number of years before you moved overseas, and then
Speaker 4: you've moved literally overseas for so I would assume this
Speaker 4: is a very serious relationship when we need to talk about, well,
Speaker 4: how is a couple of you managing finances? Which is
Speaker 4: perfect because I recorded an episode yesterday or managing couple finances?
Speaker 4: I did a little solo rant Jess like it was
Speaker 4: a solo episode, so it'll come out as a bonus
Speaker 4: very very soon fighting, which is very fun. But I
Speaker 4: think it's quite interesting that you're like, I think he
Speaker 4: should be paying and he thinks he shouldn't. Yeah, we
Speaker 4: actually need to then step back and go well as
Speaker 4: a couple, like these are expenses that I'm going to
Speaker 4: incur for the rest of my life, Like I'm consistently
Speaker 4: going to be coming back to see my family. So
Speaker 4: even if right now it's not impacting you as my partner,
Speaker 4: in the future, maybe we have children, maybe we have
Speaker 4: you know, a family, or you know, overheads, we might
Speaker 4: get a mortgage, how are we still going to fit
Speaker 4: this thing in that's really important to me into our
Speaker 4: budgets and into our lives. And I think that that's
Speaker 4: where the conversation should ideally start, not well, I'm going
Speaker 4: to mum and Dad's you know, in February next year,
Speaker 4: and I think you should help pay. We actually need
Speaker 4: to talk about why he might be on the same
Speaker 4: page about that, or why he might go Well, actually,
Speaker 4: if we're going to as a couple manage this expense together,
Speaker 4: what's a reasonable amount of time, what's a budget for this?
Speaker 4: How does that work? Because to be honest, you've just moved.
Speaker 4: It's only been a year and a half, so I'm
Speaker 4: assuming it's pretty responsive. Like I want to go home
Speaker 4: and see my family. Oh, I'm free at this stage
Speaker 4: moving forward, is it going to be once a year.
Speaker 4: Is it going to be twice a year? Like, what
Speaker 4: does that look like?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Because that's really expensive. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The other thing i'd say, if you're not already and
Speaker 2: we're definitely not recommending that you get a credit card,
Speaker 2: but if you are using one already, is it earning points?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: Are you banking the most of it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's lots of different options out there. If you
Speaker 2: are using one, can you end points when you do
Speaker 2: your groceries as well as when you travel all those
Speaker 2: sorts of things. Are there ways that you can minimize
Speaker 2: the cost of flying overseas? Are you booking during sales?
Speaker 2: Are you booking far in advance when it's cheaper? Things
Speaker 2: that you can do to lessen that cost as well?
Speaker 2: Because we all know if you book a last minut
Speaker 2: a flight, a meet from three grand.
Speaker 4: So, like, I think the summary of my thoughts around
Speaker 4: this is it's a much bigger conversation. Like you've permanently
Speaker 4: moved overseas. This is going to be ongoing.
Speaker 2: This is your life now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, is this a couple costs? Is it a
Speaker 4: single cost? What does this look like? We did ask
Speaker 4: the community, as always, so we asked them do you
Speaker 4: think the partner should contribute some money. They're on your team.
Speaker 4: Just sixty seven percent of people said yes, they should
Speaker 4: be splitting the cost, but thirty three percent said nope,
Speaker 4: not their cost to pay.
Speaker 2: Interesting.
Speaker 4: We also asked if your partner had moved for you,
Speaker 4: would you be happy to assist with the financial costs
Speaker 4: of flights home? Would you?
Speaker 2: Jess before I answer it, I think it's only fair,
Speaker 2: like in my mind, as I said, I.
Speaker 4: Would, because I've got the good deal. Yeah, you moved
Speaker 4: to me.
Speaker 2: Your life hasn't changed. I think that that is a
Speaker 2: cost of that convenience. Yeah, and if you don't like it,
Speaker 2: flip the narrative, be like, okay, well why don't you
Speaker 2: move to Australia with me for a bit and I'll
Speaker 2: help you fly home. How you like that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, see how you like it?
Speaker 2: Put the tote for tone on it.
Speaker 4: But let's see how it works for you, sir, Yeah,
Speaker 4: exactly right. Fifty six percent of you said yes, of course,
Speaker 4: they were the ones that moved, you will help pay,
Speaker 4: Forty one percent said only if we discussed it before
Speaker 4: the move, and then two percent of you said nope,
Speaker 4: not part of the deal. Like I feel like in
Speaker 4: you know, international relationships. It kind of is part of
Speaker 4: the deal. Like one of you has moved, you've decided
Speaker 4: to continue a international relationship. There are going to be
Speaker 4: financial ramifications. It sucks, it's not fair all of those
Speaker 4: things come into play. But pragmatically, you guys have decided.
Speaker 4: It's even like when you're living into state.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is how it is right.
Speaker 4: We've got family in Queensland, Jess, you and I'm going
Speaker 4: to have to jump on a plane at Christmas time.
Speaker 4: It's a cost of choosing to live in Melbourne. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and wanting to maintain those relationships exactly. So we asked
Speaker 4: for your two cents. We said, do you guys have
Speaker 4: any thoughts? Miss Bech say it. You couldn't be here today.
Speaker 4: Actually responded five times to this and said, so you're ready.
Speaker 4: So be Beck does have an opinion here. This is
Speaker 4: anonymous for everybody else but Beck for those of you listening.
Speaker 4: So Beck said, guys, I'm not here, so I'm chiming
Speaker 4: in here. Both their emotional needs need to be met
Speaker 4: and hers are currently not being met and needs to
Speaker 4: be so he needs to chip in for sure. There's
Speaker 4: so much to say that these boxes are so small.
Speaker 3: I can cure it in our voice.
Speaker 4: So Beck thinks that he does need to pay, which
Speaker 4: is fair and also hilarious because where's Beck Jess in Queensland.
Speaker 4: She's in Queensland seeing her partner's family. But for those
Speaker 4: of you who are in the community and not on
Speaker 4: the pod, a lot of you said, this is something
Speaker 4: that you should have talked about before. Yes, absolutely, and
Speaker 4: I think it's a good reminder if you're in a
Speaker 4: long distance relationship, maybe have that conversation.
Speaker 2: Say that every week should have spoken about it previously.
Speaker 4: So man, they did it. Yes, Any people jumping DMS
Speaker 4: and they're like, oh, they should have already talked about this,
Speaker 4: So I'm like, okay, sis, but they didn't and now
Speaker 4: they're on the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Literally, but here's your advice. Don't listen. Someone said it's
Speaker 4: a couple's values mismatch. His value for wealth is higher
Speaker 4: than hers is for family, and it's going to cause
Speaker 4: friction in the future.
Speaker 2: Oh that's very insightful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wish I could tell you who that was.
Speaker 4: Someone else said, I'm responsible for my own life. I
Speaker 4: also want to visit home more often than he probably might,
Speaker 4: so I think it's my cost. That's fair.
Speaker 5: Ye.
Speaker 4: Someone said this has all the traits of being a
Speaker 4: really big old red flag.
Speaker 2: Call it all right.
Speaker 4: Someone else said, it doesn't sound like right now their
Speaker 4: relationship it is equitable. We definitely need to be having
Speaker 4: more conversations about money and how it's going to be divided,
Speaker 4: especially before they start a family. Someone else said, it's
Speaker 4: an spoken rule. I go home whenever I want. Lucky
Speaker 4: for him, it's only Perth and getting there is really
Speaker 4: not that expensive, but I pay for it, okay. Someone
Speaker 4: else said, my partner and I live in Australia but
Speaker 4: are from the US in Ireland. Early on, we realized
Speaker 4: seeing our family's list was a sacrifice we'd have to
Speaker 4: make for our relationship.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's also a really good part because, like,
Speaker 4: don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that you've been
Speaker 4: able to fly home and see your family three times,
Speaker 4: but there are so many people who even flying home
Speaker 4: one time during that period of time would be completely unfeasible,
Speaker 4: especially after an international move.
Speaker 2: Like that's yeah, I think, no matter what, you've got
Speaker 2: to be on the same page. It's not gonna work.
Speaker 2: If one of you thinks one thing, and one of
Speaker 2: you thinks the other like, you've got to find a
Speaker 2: compromise somehow.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of people actually did say in the comments.
Speaker 4: Three times in a year and a half is a lot. Yeah,
Speaker 4: And I mean I don't know your relationship. I also
Speaker 4: don't know your financial situation. And that's not what I'm
Speaker 4: commenting on today. I'm literally just talking about how you
Speaker 4: manage money with your partner. Someone saying, I'd be reassessing
Speaker 4: if the person really loves me and I want to
Speaker 4: be with someone like that. That's the dramatic, but okay,
Speaker 4: And then someone else said, it's bizarre because she's moved
Speaker 4: all the way across the world, yet he's not trying
Speaker 4: to even help her get home.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I feel like there's a lot of nuance in this,
Speaker 4: but I guess it comes down to what it comes
Speaker 4: down to always, mister Scricci, and.
Speaker 2: That is communication. He's key.
Speaker 4: So I think there needs to just be more conversations.
Speaker 4: And I say this time and time again when in doubt,
Speaker 4: zoom out and look at the bigger picture, Like, yes,
Speaker 4: you want him to pay for this flight, but this
Speaker 4: is an ongoing issue that is going to exist for
Speaker 4: the remainder of your relationship, if not life. And how
Speaker 4: often are you traveling home? Is this financially viable? Because
Speaker 4: if you're traveling home three times a year, that's a
Speaker 4: three times a year international flight. I can almost promise
Speaker 4: you that's going to get in the way of buying property.
Speaker 4: I can almost promise you that's going to get in
Speaker 4: the way of your wealth creation in the future. So
Speaker 4: what does it look like?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Thanks, about to leave it. I think I agree.
Speaker 4: We'll be back next week with miss beksayed. Until then,
Speaker 4: we hope you have a beautiful weekend and we'll see
Speaker 4: bright nearly on Monday for a money diary. Bye. The
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Speaker 4: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
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