Speaker 1: If you like me. At the end of every year,
Speaker 1: you spend some time thinking about the year that was
Speaker 1: and making plans and dreams for the year to come.
Speaker 1: But how effective are your plans and do you actually
Speaker 1: end up achieving the goals that you set at the
Speaker 1: start of the year. Joining me today is ABC broadcaster
Speaker 1: and host of Radio National's This Working Life, and also
Speaker 1: my very good friend Lisa Leong. Lisa and I thought
Speaker 1: we would sit down for a chat to discuss the
Speaker 1: methods that we're using to reflect on the past year
Speaker 1: and set ourselves up for an amazing twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: In this episode, we explore some unique strategies for using
Speaker 1: a calendar to reflect on the past year, why you
Speaker 1: should do a pre mortem of the upcoming year if
Speaker 1: you want to succeed, and what you might want to
Speaker 1: consider doing instead of setting New Year's resolutions. Welcome to
Speaker 1: How I Work, a show about habits, rituals, and strategies
Speaker 1: for optimizing your day. I'm your host, Doctor Amantha Imber.
Speaker 1: Before planning for the year ahead, it's pretty common to
Speaker 1: look back on the one that's just passed. But what's
Speaker 1: the best way to reflect? Should we just shut down
Speaker 1: some random memories or is there a more structured approach.
Speaker 1: I decided to start things off by asking Lisa what
Speaker 1: she's doing this December to reflect on the year that was.
Speaker 2: So I've been doing the same little reflection for a
Speaker 2: couple of years now, so maybe I'll tell you what
Speaker 2: I do. But there are some other ones that I've
Speaker 2: used in the past. If you don't want to do
Speaker 2: this way, there is an exercise which I called the
Speaker 2: life flow exercise, which you can do for your whole life,
Speaker 2: and that is mapping the highs and the lows subjectively
Speaker 2: of your whole life. That exercise is used so you
Speaker 2: can see the patterns of what may peak a peak
Speaker 2: and what made a trough. So basically the lower line,
Speaker 2: you sort of do it like a timeline, the lower
Speaker 2: part of the line, so that's horizontal. That is the
Speaker 2: time that's gone by, so it could be in ten
Speaker 2: year incremental, five year increments. And then you map really
Speaker 2: subjectively highs or lows, and that's whatever it means to you.
Speaker 2: So it could be happiness, it could be energy, whatever
Speaker 2: you want. I use this for each year as well,
Speaker 2: so I've done it for my life and I tend
Speaker 2: to do it for a big reflection, but I also
Speaker 2: find it really useful just for the year as well. Amanthas. So,
Speaker 2: I have a diary where there's a month at a glance,
Speaker 2: and so I generally put in the big things that
Speaker 2: I've been doing so that I can do this exercise later.
Speaker 2: But you could look at your calendar and basically I
Speaker 2: will map out my whole year. So it's basically every month,
Speaker 2: so January, February, March, April, May, June, and I subjectively say,
Speaker 2: is this a high or a loaf for me? And
Speaker 2: my graph is really interesting this year. So I did
Speaker 2: this exercise to prepare for this, and I was very
Speaker 2: sick at the beginning of the year. I came out
Speaker 2: of the blocks potentially a bit too hard.
Speaker 1: And was sick in February.
Speaker 2: Got COVID in March, and then quite sick in May.
Speaker 2: So something wasn't happening for me at the beginning of
Speaker 2: the year. So that's useful just to know that health
Speaker 2: wise just wasn't firing. And then the year settled quite
Speaker 2: well and you know, sort of grew and I think
Speaker 2: what I noticed about the highlights of the year were
Speaker 2: a couple of big events, and you were part of
Speaker 2: one of those where we did the ARI event on
Speaker 2: the stage and it was just really fun. We had
Speaker 2: a lot of joy and we were singing and dancing.
Speaker 2: That was really fun.
Speaker 1: I love that that was for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So the theme there is about teaming and collaboration
Speaker 2: with people you love, and that whole event was filled
Speaker 2: with that. I felt. Then my ABC work was a
Speaker 2: high because I just really enjoyed, you know when you
Speaker 2: can really enjoy the broadcasting and connecting once again with
Speaker 2: community and people. So once again connection and then I
Speaker 2: put a high. I went away and learned some so
Speaker 2: further learning is another one. I learned some chickun which
Speaker 2: is like tauchy, and then I did this year zen
Speaker 2: meditation Amantha, and I think what happened was that's a
Speaker 2: new thing I added this year which helped me make
Speaker 2: a better year by the end, because meditation is a
Speaker 2: practice and I think I just slowly diligently built on
Speaker 2: it and I think that helped me really. So if
Speaker 2: I'm just going to show you even though we're on radio,
Speaker 2: but it's basically that it grew up. My reflection never
Speaker 2: usually looks from low to high, but I had one
Speaker 2: of those years where I just started. Usually it's the
Speaker 2: other way. Usually I burned out by the end, Amantha,
Speaker 2: But this year I was really happy that it went
Speaker 2: back and then discovered pickleball as well in the US.
Speaker 2: So there's something about fun about presence with the meditation
Speaker 2: and also balance as well. So that's kind of my
Speaker 2: big reflections. What do you make of that approach?
Speaker 1: So I like how you describe what you've done there.
Speaker 1: So the life flow exercise, I have never thought to
Speaker 1: apply that to one year. So we actually had a
Speaker 1: dinner I want to say, maybe a year and a
Speaker 1: half ago at south By Southwestern Sydney in twenty twenty
Speaker 1: three with a mutual friend of ours, where we all
Speaker 1: shared our life flow over the course of our life.
Speaker 1: And I mean, I think that it's such an interesting
Speaker 1: exercise to do with friends or family or loved ones
Speaker 1: just gained so much insight into their life that you
Speaker 1: didn't know even if you thought you knew the person well.
Speaker 1: But I like how you've applied it to one year
Speaker 1: of your life and taking that birdsie view of the
Speaker 1: year and thinking about, Okay, what thematically can I learn
Speaker 1: from that? What are the things that connected the highs?
Speaker 1: What are the themes that I can deliberately take forward,
Speaker 1: and also what can I do about the lows? Do
Speaker 1: you look for themes in the lows and think about
Speaker 1: what can I learn from that?
Speaker 2: Exactly? So with the troughs, what you're trying to do
Speaker 2: is not go on autopilot. So that's when those habits
Speaker 2: really they become ingrained and you repeat the same mistakes
Speaker 2: over and over. So you do it gently. But I
Speaker 2: look at the troughs and say, you know, is there
Speaker 2: anything I could tweak going into next year which might
Speaker 2: mediate those troughs a little bit. I mean, life happens,
Speaker 2: and so there's always peaks and troughs.
Speaker 1: It's never a.
Speaker 2: Straight line, because maybe you're dead if there's a straight line.
Speaker 2: So I think definitely with looking at the troughs. So
Speaker 2: the health and health in itself was possibly a little
Speaker 2: bit about balance and quite a lot about discipline. And
Speaker 2: discipline is such a strange word, but for me, discipline
Speaker 2: is freeing. I see a lot of freedom in discipline,
Speaker 2: and it's something that both you and I look at
Speaker 2: a lot, which is when you create a new routine
Speaker 2: and you're disciplined about it, then it gives you so
Speaker 2: much freedom because if I wasn't so sick at the
Speaker 2: beginning of the year, I would have had that freedom
Speaker 2: to do the things that I actually wanted to be doing,
Speaker 2: which is the actually being on radio, because I had
Speaker 2: to sort of stop doing that for a little while,
Speaker 2: and you know, when I was ill, and so that
Speaker 2: was not a great time for me, and people rely
Speaker 2: on me as well, so having to let people down
Speaker 2: didn't feel good those sorts of things.
Speaker 1: The other thing that stood out to me is how
Speaker 1: you're mapping your monthly calendar. You and I want to
Speaker 1: dig into that a little bit more and also share
Speaker 1: something that I tried to form as a habit very unsuccessfully,
Speaker 1: but my partner Neo, has been insane in terms of
Speaker 1: his consistency with this habit. So when we moved in together,
Speaker 1: I got us both a sentence in a day diary.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if you've seen these, No, there
Speaker 1: are five year diary where you basically write one sentence
Speaker 1: a day, and how it works is that for the
Speaker 1: five years, there's one block per each year, and so
Speaker 1: like essentially every what are we were like Tuesday, the
Speaker 1: twenty sixth of November today, So every twenty sixth of November.
Speaker 1: Then when today, if I actually kept this as a habit,
Speaker 1: I was writing my twenty sixth of November sentence, like
Speaker 1: one sentence long diary, I could look back at twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three and see what was happening on this day
Speaker 1: last year. Right, Hopefully I've explained that in a way
Speaker 1: that makes sense to listeners.
Speaker 2: No, I I totally get it, even if it was confusing.
Speaker 2: Somehow I've found a way to understand.
Speaker 1: That we possibly got there. So my partner has been amazing,
Speaker 1: and he's done this every day for the last year
Speaker 1: and a half. Almost every day. He's already up to
Speaker 1: the repeat. He's up to the repeats, which is really interesting,
Speaker 1: and it's become like a nighttime ritual. When we get
Speaker 1: into bed, he'll write in his diary and I'll look
Speaker 1: at him and go, oh wow, there's such virtuous behavior.
Speaker 1: And I just can't bring myself to write in my
Speaker 1: diary for whatever reason. I'd much prefet to just be
Speaker 1: reading on my kindle. And so for hum it's like
Speaker 1: it's really good because you can kind of flick through
Speaker 1: and that's a bit of a summary. But I want
Speaker 1: to know about your method because I feel like there's
Speaker 1: got to be a method that I can stick to,
Speaker 1: and your sounds maybe a little bit easier.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I mean, I have a diary. It's a
Speaker 2: gratitude diary that I found when we're in the Gold
Speaker 2: Coast and I was wandering around and you know, one
Speaker 2: of those little shops and then you go in there
Speaker 2: and it smells and it has crystals in it. Because
Speaker 2: right up the back I found a gratitude diary and
Speaker 2: I bought the first one, Like I've got them all
Speaker 2: in a row on my shelf in twenty I can
Speaker 2: see the first one twenty sixteen, and that was a
Speaker 2: really big year for me because I had changed quite
Speaker 2: a lot in my life, and so I started this
Speaker 2: practice of writing in this gratitude diary. But it's actually
Speaker 2: it's formatted really well. You know when you find a
Speaker 2: diary and you think it's formatted really well. So this diary,
Speaker 2: it has space for each day where I write a
Speaker 2: little bit of gratitude and a little bit of reflection,
Speaker 2: but it has just a month and tiny little boxes amanthas.
Speaker 2: So you might prefer this because I can not write
Speaker 2: every day, but I can definitely write trends. So when
Speaker 2: there's an event on or where there's something beautiful, you know,
Speaker 2: I might put a sunshine and a heart, and I
Speaker 2: am sort of mapping as I go the big things,
Speaker 2: and then I use a bit of the Google calendar
Speaker 2: as well, because my Google calendar has everything in it,
Speaker 2: and so you know, then I can go back and go, oh,
Speaker 2: that was a good month, or looking back, that was
Speaker 2: a tough one, because at the time you might not
Speaker 2: know either.
Speaker 1: I like that the Google calendar. It's like what you're
Speaker 1: describing visually reminds me. So I came across in terms
Speaker 1: of thinking about what is a visually great way to
Speaker 1: represent things and easily put it up on the wall.
Speaker 1: So it takes minimal effort to record what are the
Speaker 1: highlights or low lights of a day. This company, they're
Speaker 1: called new Year speltneu Year. They sell these amazing wall
Speaker 1: calendars that is an entire year and you can stick
Speaker 1: it on your wall, and so theoretically you could have
Speaker 1: the whole year at a glance for doing this process,
Speaker 1: which is making me think maybe for twenty twenty five,
Speaker 1: I might actually do this. I love that. Can you
Speaker 1: do it? And then report? Yeah, I'll report back in
Speaker 1: a year yeah, yeah, that'd be great.
Speaker 2: That's interesting because obviously if it's a bad day caused
Speaker 2: by anyone in your family, you might want them to
Speaker 2: see the wall calendar.
Speaker 1: You might have to use code words. That's all right, Yes.
Speaker 2: Please try that, because I do think somewhere where you
Speaker 2: can reflect, as I said, sometimes you don't know it's
Speaker 2: a low until later, but just somewhere where you can
Speaker 2: map things is quite useful, I think so.
Speaker 1: Funnily enough, I do not have an annual ritual for this,
Speaker 1: and I feel like, given how much I speak and
Speaker 1: write about productivity and habits and rituals, that might come
Speaker 1: as a surprise. I feel like I've been searching for
Speaker 1: the thing that fits for me and I haven't found it.
Speaker 1: And so when I was preparing for this chat with you,
Speaker 1: I was thinking, well, what process might I try this year?
Speaker 1: And it's probably something that I'll do with my partner
Speaker 1: because he's also sort of quite reflective and quite self
Speaker 1: optimize like me, and I wanted to share with you
Speaker 1: some questions that I found when I was doing some
Speaker 1: research aline to think about, what are some questions that
Speaker 1: I think I would find helpful to draw out what
Speaker 1: has this year meant to me? And how can I
Speaker 1: make more sense of it? So let me share some
Speaker 1: questions with you. Tell me which ones resonate. Okay, So
Speaker 1: what changes did I experience this year? What were the
Speaker 1: moments of joy I experienced this year? Yeah, what strengths
Speaker 1: did I discover in myself? What were the most valuable
Speaker 1: lessons I learned this year? And then what did this
Speaker 1: lesson teach me? What are three moments from this year
Speaker 1: that I'm thankful for? What was the biggest risk I
Speaker 1: took this year? If I review this past year, what
Speaker 1: was the best thing that happened each month? Which I
Speaker 1: quite like because of recency bias, because I think as
Speaker 1: humans we obviously have a tendency to overweight things that
Speaker 1: happen more recently. So I like the idea of going
Speaker 1: month by month in what ways have I positively impacted
Speaker 1: the lives of others this year, which for me is
Speaker 1: a motivating force to get out of bed every day
Speaker 1: and do the work that I do. How did I
Speaker 1: step out of my comfort zone this year? And as
Speaker 1: I reflect on the past year, what am I most
Speaker 1: looking forward to in the coming year.
Speaker 2: It's a lot of questions.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of questions, but which ones you think
Speaker 1: of the most powerful? Trying to think.
Speaker 2: I remember when COVID was first happening and I attended
Speaker 2: a beautiful Zoom meeting held globally to sort of reflect
Speaker 2: on what had happened, and there was an amazing question
Speaker 2: that was asked, and it was something like, what is
Speaker 2: truly essential for me?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: Therefore?
Speaker 1: What should I let go of?
Speaker 2: And so I was listening to your amazing questions, which
Speaker 2: were reflective, and I was thinking something about what might
Speaker 2: I let go of as well? Might be quite useful
Speaker 2: because there's a lot of additive you know, the subtracting
Speaker 2: part as well, just to get that bit of balance,
Speaker 2: because I feel like sometimes we miss out on that,
Speaker 2: don't we, you know, what didn't serve me? What might
Speaker 2: I let go of?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I love that, And I feel like because we're
Speaker 1: both of the yes and mindset, I think for both
Speaker 1: of us, we're very additive, exactly like joint pickleball hobby
Speaker 1: and case in point, yes, ad ad so true?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? That's part of maybe
Speaker 2: my reflection, Amantha, which is the you know, if I'm
Speaker 2: always adding, that's probably how I got sick because I
Speaker 2: can't actually do everything, and so I mean we can
Speaker 2: talk about moving forward my favorite ones from your list.
Speaker 2: So definitely the joy, because that is such a good
Speaker 2: question to reflect on at the end of the year.
Speaker 2: What moments brought me joy?
Speaker 1: You know? Who was I weird?
Speaker 2: What was I doing? And I think that is a
Speaker 2: really helpful question. And the you know, I love lessons?
Speaker 2: What can I learn from? And it reminded me, so
Speaker 2: I said, there were a few frameworks that are quite useful,
Speaker 2: and dom price from it, Lassie and you know his l's,
Speaker 2: you know, so his four l's that became five l's,
Speaker 2: So the you know, what do I love? What do
Speaker 2: I loathe? A bit American? And what are my lessons?
Speaker 2: And what did I long for? That's his four l's.
Speaker 2: And then he added a fifth L, which is what
Speaker 2: did I laugh at?
Speaker 1: I didn't know about that fifth L? YEA, yeah, great,
Speaker 1: you know when did I laugh? Barely laugh?
Speaker 2: And so that framework as well is very sort of
Speaker 2: similar to that trying to get the balance and reflect
Speaker 2: on things. And I like it because you can do
Speaker 2: the four l's and then you can share it with
Speaker 2: your partner or your teammates, and so that could also
Speaker 2: be quite a good reflection to do in teams as well.
Speaker 2: I think some sort of retrospective would go well at
Speaker 2: the end of the year in teams.
Speaker 1: Let's shift gears to thinking about how we look ahead
Speaker 1: to twenty twenty five. Again. I want to start with
Speaker 1: your process here, and I don't know if it's different
Speaker 1: for work and non work looking ahead or if it
Speaker 1: all merges together. So talk me through how do you
Speaker 1: think about the year ahead?
Speaker 2: So I mentioned that I had big changes in twenty sixteen,
Speaker 2: so that was a career change and a life sort
Speaker 2: of change, and I knew that I had to change something.
Speaker 2: So it was about, okay, how do I move from
Speaker 2: one thing to the other. So I set some clear
Speaker 2: sort of goals in what I wanted to achieve in
Speaker 2: my life. And the way I helped myself do that
Speaker 2: was then I beamed myself, not just to say we're
Speaker 2: doing it for next year. It wouldn't be at twenty
Speaker 2: twenty five. It would be at the end of twenty
Speaker 2: twenty five when I was doing a reflection. I'm so
Speaker 2: happy that this happened to me. And you write your
Speaker 2: end of the year reflection like it's happened and then
Speaker 2: I go back and I go what am I doing
Speaker 2: today that would bring that to life? And you do
Speaker 2: that every day and then you see where you are.
Speaker 2: So that was with a very specific goal now as
Speaker 2: I'm in a sort of a different place now where
Speaker 2: it's about, like I really am loving the things that
Speaker 2: I'm doing, whether it be at the ABC or the
Speaker 2: other collaborations that I've been doing, and so really it's
Speaker 2: about setting an intention, so a little bit different from
Speaker 2: a news resolution, which we know have very high fail
Speaker 2: rates and nearly one rate for me one, So I
Speaker 2: don't do that anymore, and I do an intention. So
Speaker 2: an intention some people use a word or just a feeling.
Speaker 2: So for me, it could be something like space or simplicity,
Speaker 2: because you know, I'm really about that idea of maybe
Speaker 2: being in flow, so I'll sort of choose something that
Speaker 2: can be my north star for the year. So there
Speaker 2: is a theme of simplicity, freedom, and a little bit
Speaker 2: of non striving. So that kind of stressful ambition. I'm
Speaker 2: just pairing that back, maybe just for the health part
Speaker 2: as well, so still loving passionate, mastery, discipline and excellence
Speaker 2: and all of that good stuff, and then paired with
Speaker 2: an idea of community, servant, leadership and connection is what
Speaker 2: I would say.
Speaker 1: So how do you get to that intention? Can you
Speaker 1: unpack your process for doing that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it depends now on the piece of the
Speaker 2: life flow that I did for twenty twenty four. So
Speaker 2: looking at the peaks, what made it so? So that
Speaker 2: was definitely connection of community and collaboration. But then when
Speaker 2: I was feeling the most joy, So the peaks creative
Speaker 2: flow plus this sense of spaciousness. So even with the
Speaker 2: tai Chi Cousin Chikung training that I was doing, there's
Speaker 2: very much a sense of that integration. When everything feels
Speaker 2: like this is so easeful and flowing and loving, that's
Speaker 2: when I'm feeling the most joy, and then the trough,
Speaker 2: you know, the health and feeling like I'm overwhelmed, burnt out.
Speaker 2: I'm really trying to pick an intention that doesn't lead
Speaker 2: me to that state again, and that intention is one
Speaker 2: of that freedom and joy and love. It's like an
Speaker 2: antidote to overwhelm the stress that you add to yourself
Speaker 2: and that feeling of oh wow, I'm going to burn
Speaker 2: out again.
Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, we will be back with Lisa soon, and
Speaker 1: when we return, we'll be discussing the pie chart strategy
Speaker 1: you can use to dissect your life in the most
Speaker 1: detail possible, and why you should do a pre mortem
Speaker 1: of the upcoming year if you really want to succeed,
Speaker 1: if you're looking for more tips to improve the way
Speaker 1: you work can live. I write a short weekly newsletter
Speaker 1: that contains tactics I've discovered that have helped me personally.
Speaker 1: You can sign up for that at Amantha dot com.
Speaker 1: That's Amantha dot com Amantha.
Speaker 2: What do you do then to set your goals for
Speaker 2: the new year?
Speaker 1: So at work, I have a very clear process and
Speaker 1: we work on a financial year. Yeah, so in a sense,
Speaker 1: it's doing a check in around how we going, do
Speaker 1: we need to change the goals. We've actually simplified our
Speaker 1: company goals quite a lot. But with general life, now,
Speaker 1: with yourself, yeah, I know with myself, I don't have
Speaker 1: a clear process. Like sometimes I'll think about this concept
Speaker 1: of word of the year or theme of the year,
Speaker 1: but I've never really embraced that. But I was thinking
Speaker 1: about a process that I do with my partner because
Speaker 1: we're quite reflective and we will do it. Used to
Speaker 1: be a monthly relationship check in, but we've since evolved
Speaker 1: that to something that we're now starting to do. Like,
Speaker 1: we've got certain themes that we think about in our lives,
Speaker 1: and what I'm imagining is that this year we will
Speaker 1: think about those themes and think about, well, what matters
Speaker 1: coming into twenty twenty five. And I like your thought
Speaker 1: around thinking about where do you want to be at
Speaker 1: the end of the year, and then work backwards to
Speaker 1: create that. So maybe I'll talk you through some of
Speaker 1: these themes that we think about, because I feel like
Speaker 1: my bias is to focus too much on some things
Speaker 1: but to the detriment of other things. So health is
Speaker 1: obviously something that I think about a lot and write
Speaker 1: about a lot, and that's definitely a focus for us.
Speaker 1: I think there are like bad habits bad sounds very judgmental,
Speaker 1: but habits that we've both fallen into because it's been
Speaker 1: a tough year work wise, And there are good habits
Speaker 1: that we've maintained, but then there are habits that were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I think we need to shake that one off.
Speaker 2: So yeah, like that's like a sprinkling.
Speaker 1: It is, So we'll be doing that with health. Finances.
Speaker 1: You know, we talk very openly about finances in our relationship,
Speaker 1: and that feels really important given that finances are a
Speaker 1: common cause of conflict in relationships. So we work really
Speaker 1: collaboratively and jointly there, and I daresay we'll think about, okay,
Speaker 1: like what do we want to achieve financially. We also
Speaker 1: think a lot about our relationship and how we're communicating
Speaker 1: and relating to each other and intimacy, and I don't
Speaker 1: think the goals, but they're probably more what are the
Speaker 1: things that we want to continue there and build on.
Speaker 1: We talk a lot about Frankie, and you know, Frankie
Speaker 1: is my daughter, Neo is stepdad to Frankie. And parenting conversation.
Speaker 1: If I think about the pie chat of the things
Speaker 1: that we talk about in our relationship, Frankie is a
Speaker 1: fair chunk of that pie chart, and thinking about her
Speaker 1: and her happiness and her well being. I don't know
Speaker 1: if there would be a goal per se, but there
Speaker 1: might be an intention in terms of how we parent
Speaker 1: and what is our approach to helping be great parents
Speaker 1: to Frankie.
Speaker 2: That's really useful doing that quite regularly because one of
Speaker 2: the things about parenting that I've noticed is that, of
Speaker 2: course your child really changes every single year. And they
Speaker 2: need different things. I mean, my daughter is a teenager now,
Speaker 2: so of course our parenting has completely changed from when
Speaker 2: she was a little one. So I think that's a
Speaker 2: really good thing to do quite frequently together.
Speaker 1: We're very mindful on that. Then there's family and friends.
Speaker 1: I think for me a useful habit that is it
Speaker 1: a habit or is it a ritual, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but something that has served me really well. And because
Speaker 1: I know that one of the things that brings me
Speaker 1: joy is having regular catch ups with my close circle
Speaker 1: of friends. Every Monday, I will send text messages to
Speaker 1: my friends with the intention of firstly checking in. But
Speaker 1: also I know that weeks where I've got at least
Speaker 1: one or two friend catch ups are better weeks because
Speaker 1: of that connection. It's important to both of us. I
Speaker 1: think it's important to humans. So that is something that
Speaker 1: I think I will maintain. And I know Neo's got
Speaker 1: some goals around how he wants to be intentional around
Speaker 1: certain things, you know, with regards to connections. So that
Speaker 1: is something that I think I will continue. But I
Speaker 1: also think would I refine that in some way. But
Speaker 1: that's been ritual that served me really well this past
Speaker 1: year work, but more so work life balance, because my
Speaker 1: balance has been really out of whack in the last
Speaker 1: twelve months. There's been a lot of work, and obviously
Speaker 1: if there's a lot of work, there are sacrifices or
Speaker 1: compromises that you make in other aspects of your life.
Speaker 1: And also neo, because I think when you're thinking about balance,
Speaker 1: you can't isolate it from the people that you're in
Speaker 1: the same household with or the people that you're close to,
Speaker 1: because it has a flow and effect. Yeah, and so
Speaker 1: I think for both of us, we're thinking a lot
Speaker 1: around how can we craft a year that feels more balanced.
Speaker 1: And if we think about the pie chat and just
Speaker 1: where energy is going in that pie chat, a lot
Speaker 1: of it went to work in the last twelve months. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know, I want to think about what do
Speaker 1: I want that energy pie chart to look like across
Speaker 1: these different categories. Fun and hobbies is another category, and
Speaker 1: I'm aware that it feels like a bit of a
Speaker 1: shopping list of categories.
Speaker 2: No, the pie chat is actually another good retrospective way
Speaker 2: of looking at the year, and some people can map
Speaker 2: it from zero to ten as well, and you can
Speaker 2: see where things are out of whack. If you do
Speaker 2: it as a pie chart and then you sort of
Speaker 2: show where you sit, then you can see if one's
Speaker 2: ten out of ten and one's zero out of ten. Oh,
Speaker 2: my pie chart is out. So it is actually a
Speaker 2: really good reflective exercise.
Speaker 1: So fun and hobbies, and then there's two more categories.
Speaker 1: Are there are eight segments nine and we did try
Speaker 1: to collapse it into less. Nine seems like a lot,
Speaker 1: but I welcome your bills, Lisa. So fun and hobbies
Speaker 1: and this definitely fell by the wayside. So I mid
Speaker 1: year decided that I would take up sewing again as
Speaker 1: a hobby. I used to sew a lot in my
Speaker 1: teenage years, and then because of the amount of sewing
Speaker 1: that I was doing, it actually began to feel a
Speaker 1: little bit like a chore and then I just stopped.
Speaker 1: But it was something that I actually became quite masterful
Speaker 1: at considering my age. I felt really proud of my skills. Nothing.
Speaker 1: And then Neil and I went to Vietnam in July
Speaker 1: and we visited and formed like a bit of a
Speaker 1: relationship with this local tailor, and it was just fascinating
Speaker 1: to see how they work and their processes, and it
Speaker 1: made me think, I think I want to take this
Speaker 1: up again. I want to relearn and remember how to
Speaker 1: sew and craft physical things out of nothing. Which when
Speaker 1: you're a knowledge worker, as we both are, it's quite
Speaker 1: gratifying to be working with your hands for the thing
Speaker 1: that is your hobby.
Speaker 2: And it's still consuming because you know, so you're not
Speaker 2: sort of sitting there still thinking about work. You really
Speaker 2: have to focus. I think that's a really amazing thing.
Speaker 2: And how have you gone with that?
Speaker 1: This year? Terrible? So got a sewing machine for my birthday,
Speaker 1: which was wonderful. I started strong. I did a few projects,
Speaker 1: but funnily enough, they were mainly with Frankie and we
Speaker 1: would sew together and that was actually a really beautiful
Speaker 1: experience and that was definitely some of the highlights if
Speaker 1: I think about the life flo there were some highlight
Speaker 1: moments where we got to sew toys together and almost
Speaker 1: just a bit of an education as to how a
Speaker 1: soft toy is made. A lot of work goes into
Speaker 1: creating a soft toy, which Frankie loves her soft toys.
Speaker 1: But then because of the imbalance in work, that hobby
Speaker 1: fell by the wayside and goals and intentions that I'd
Speaker 1: had around really embracing this hobby just deteriorated, basically, like
Speaker 1: I did a little bit of sewing about a week ago,
Speaker 1: and I feel like this has almost become a little
Speaker 1: bit of a signal to me to go, where's my balance?
Speaker 1: And if I've got time for sewing, then it's like
Speaker 1: a signal to say, you're good, You're in balance, You've
Speaker 1: got the energy for your hobby, which means that work
Speaker 1: is perhaps more under control. So that's become like an
Speaker 1: interesting little I guess checkpoint for me to go, how
Speaker 1: am I going and how am I going with the balance?
Speaker 2: Because what got in the way of doing the sewing
Speaker 2: was it just I'm exhausted, so I have no.
Speaker 1: Energy, exhaustion and stress and just a very high I workload.
Speaker 1: Is that all the categories personal growth? Yes? And then
Speaker 1: hopes and dreams? So personal growth which can come from
Speaker 1: I guess a lot of these, and then hopes and dreams,
Speaker 1: which is really for Neo and I when we have
Speaker 1: our check ins, it's like, what are our hopes and
Speaker 1: dreams for the next month or the next six months.
Speaker 1: And you know, while we reflect a lot, it also
Speaker 1: encourages us to be very future focused and go like,
Speaker 1: what are we thinking about? What are we dreaming about?
Speaker 1: And how can we make that happen. So they're the
Speaker 1: categories that I'm thinking about when I'm thinking about what
Speaker 1: do I want twenty twenty five to be, and then
Speaker 1: also thinking about it in partnership with my life partner,
Speaker 1: what do we want a craft as our twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: I'm wondering whether you could do then a yearly one,
Speaker 2: so you could do a twenty twenty four pie chat,
Speaker 2: and then you could do your if everything you know
Speaker 2: turns out bewed flea in twenty twenty five, what does
Speaker 2: that pie chat look like? So sort of melding it
Speaker 2: with that future thing and just saying and it doesn't
Speaker 2: even need to be a number, but it could be,
Speaker 2: you know, with health, I'm feeling dot dot dot. You know,
Speaker 2: we're doing dot dot dot, you know, doing you know
Speaker 2: a little bit of sewing for a hobby, you know,
Speaker 2: every week I've made five pieces or you know whatever,
Speaker 2: But sort of do it more as a discursive This
Speaker 2: is at the end of the year and I'm doing
Speaker 2: my pie chat, and this is what has happened. That
Speaker 2: just is one suggestion for how you might have fun
Speaker 2: with the yearly pie chat.
Speaker 1: I like that thinking about what is the balance of energy?
Speaker 1: Where is the energy going? Yeah? I know that the
Speaker 1: energy was out of whack this year. So what does
Speaker 1: an ideal year look like? Yeah? Of energy?
Speaker 2: And what does my little pie chat if I had
Speaker 2: to do it again, what would they look like?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the visual reminders are so strong
Speaker 1: when you are trying to stay true to whatever intentions
Speaker 1: that you have. I like the idea of actually create
Speaker 1: a visual of the pie chat and pinning it on
Speaker 1: the fridge so that it is there every day to go.
Speaker 1: I have it going with that at the end of
Speaker 1: every week, going how is the balance this week?
Speaker 2: And have you heard of the you know, the pre
Speaker 2: mortem exercise?
Speaker 1: Yes? But can you share what this is for those
Speaker 1: that don't know it?
Speaker 2: So we could tie in a bit of a pre
Speaker 2: mortem exercise. So a post mortem is when you analyze
Speaker 2: something after it's happened and said, oh wow, what went
Speaker 2: wrong and what went right? So that's called the post mortem.
Speaker 2: A pre mortem is a useful exercise, and it's basically
Speaker 2: what if I'm talking about the end of twenty twenty five,
Speaker 2: That's what I'm utilizing is this concept of pre mortem.
Speaker 2: So I'm beaming myself into the future and I'm describing
Speaker 2: it like it is happening right now. Because humans are
Speaker 2: terrible at being able to properly project ourselves into the
Speaker 2: future and say, oh, you know, and set goals. So
Speaker 2: we set unattainable goals. But we also think that we
Speaker 2: can do way more than we can in a year.
Speaker 2: So what the pre morton does is it says, let's
Speaker 2: be mourselves into that future state. So it could be
Speaker 2: five years hence, if you really want to look at
Speaker 2: a vision, or it could be December twenty twenty five,
Speaker 2: and you describe your roaring success, so you know, Amantha
Speaker 2: roaring success. You know, you describe that maybe like a headline,
Speaker 2: and then you also look at the flip side, which
Speaker 2: is a kind of terrible disaster, so a disaster state,
Speaker 2: and then you write out like a paragraph of what happened,
Speaker 2: and you can do it like an article in you know,
Speaker 2: the Age or in the Australian Financial Review roaring success.
Speaker 2: This happened Amantha, you know, started sewing in her backyard
Speaker 2: and then you know, suddenly all.
Speaker 1: These beautiful things happened.
Speaker 2: So you describe that future stage, and then you do
Speaker 2: the opposite for the you know what made it terrible?
Speaker 2: Amantha snowed under way too much work, had it even worse, Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then got burnt out.
Speaker 2: So then you do the other side and then you say, well,
Speaker 2: what contributed to that? And it's in that process of
Speaker 2: writing the story where you can sort of crystallize, and
Speaker 2: they're often surprising things. Hugging Row from Stanford, he runs
Speaker 2: these pre mortems and I'll just do your quick story
Speaker 2: to tell you about what is non obvious. So Stanford
Speaker 2: Medical School, their pre mortem roaring success is to actually
Speaker 2: create innovations in the science area that would change the world.
Speaker 2: And they initially thought that it was about enticing more experts,
Speaker 2: high level experts, medical researchers into their organization. But what
Speaker 2: they actually found out through doing the pre mortem is
Speaker 2: that a lot of the difficulties happened because of bottlenecks,
Speaker 2: because there were not enough to support people like nurses
Speaker 2: and the way they get their grants, that these nurses
Speaker 2: got snowed under with these things that they absolutely had
Speaker 2: to do to get funding in the first place, and
Speaker 2: it didn't matter even if they attracted all these medical researchers.
Speaker 2: Without the nurses, they wouldn't be able to do anything,
Speaker 2: no breakthroughs. And so through doing the pre mortem, it
Speaker 2: opened that up, and so I actually go, this is
Speaker 2: fascinating and you can definitely use it for your own
Speaker 2: career and you can unearth things that wouldn't be obvious
Speaker 2: through just doing it. I'm setting a goal and why
Speaker 2: do we repeat every year the same bad habits.
Speaker 1: What I love about that is I've only run pre
Speaker 1: mortems where you think about what if everything is a
Speaker 1: total failure? Well really, and how do we look back
Speaker 1: and how do we prevent that? But I've actually never
Speaker 1: done a pre mortem from memory where it's like, what
Speaker 1: if this was a raging success? What are the things
Speaker 1: that led to that? For me, I've always used that
Speaker 1: pre mortem in the work context. I haven't really used
Speaker 1: it in my personal life to think about how do
Speaker 1: we prevent shit from going wrong?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: But how do we actually promote things going right? I
Speaker 1: love that angle as well.
Speaker 2: Strictly speaking, pre mortem is about all the things that
Speaker 2: go wrong, So strictly speaking, it would be a pre
Speaker 2: victorim if we're talking so maybe your Latin brain has
Speaker 2: gone pre mortem that can't be about pre victorim. So
Speaker 2: strictly speaking, that's why amanthas so you have been doing
Speaker 2: it right. It's just an instance that they do both
Speaker 2: and sometimes there's overlap, but many times you can bring
Speaker 2: out different things. And also I think energetically what they
Speaker 2: say is it is better if you're doing this personally.
Speaker 2: So I've mainly done it for teams as well, the
Speaker 2: pre mortem pre victim both sides. And by the way,
Speaker 2: you want to make sure that you get really different
Speaker 2: people doing it, not just the leadership team, to get
Speaker 2: the voices in the room. You can do it anonymously
Speaker 2: as well. If you're doing it personally, it's kind of
Speaker 2: better to make sure that you do the pre victorium.
Speaker 2: But even just focusing on the pre victorim, because of
Speaker 2: the way our brains work, it's actually better to focus
Speaker 2: on the positive things rather than putting any energy into
Speaker 2: or intention into the negative things, because sometimes we can
Speaker 2: create our own futures by focusing on the wrong things.
Speaker 1: I used to do a vision board as well, did
Speaker 1: you yeah for the year ahead.
Speaker 2: So you know when I was talking about the changes,
Speaker 2: when I was doing big changes, and I really did
Speaker 2: need to shift big things. So one of the big
Speaker 2: things was that I was getting into the innovation space
Speaker 2: and I wanted to do the customer focused innovation program
Speaker 2: at Stanford, but it was really expensive and I couldn't
Speaker 2: really see a way to get there. And I had
Speaker 2: this picture of Stanford and I put it on the
Speaker 2: vision board and I just had it there for a
Speaker 2: year and then I actually got this opportunity to go.
Speaker 2: And I remember my brother was living there at the
Speaker 2: time and he dropped me off and it was in
Speaker 2: the backside of the university, so not the normal entrance,
Speaker 2: and I walked in and I looked up and it
Speaker 2: was the same vantage point.
Speaker 1: Oh that was in this vision board. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: It's those things that I, you know, when I used
Speaker 2: to really want to change things up. Just putting yourself
Speaker 2: into that future and don't worry too much about how
Speaker 2: is that going to happen, but just having it there
Speaker 2: and the magic happens.
Speaker 1: I think to sum up what we've talked about, and
Speaker 1: I hope that this has been helpful for anyone listening
Speaker 1: and thinking, you know, what is in your control when
Speaker 1: you're thinking about the year ahead and the year that
Speaker 1: has just gone, and how can you create the year
Speaker 1: ahead to be even better or a better one than
Speaker 1: what you've just experienced. I remember I heard this concept
Speaker 1: a few years ago around sliding versus deciding, and in
Speaker 1: so many things like whether that be in you know,
Speaker 1: entering into a new relationship, or deciding to stay in
Speaker 1: a workplace. You know, the idea of just sliding into
Speaker 1: something where you're just you're kind of on you know,
Speaker 1: autopilot versus deciding, I think sums up what we've talked about.
Speaker 1: So I know, for me, sliding into next year versus
Speaker 1: deciding to make different changes to make twenty twenty five
Speaker 1: a better and richer year and a year that has
Speaker 1: more sewing in it as well, it's definitely going to
Speaker 1: be my approach to thinking about the year ahead.
Speaker 2: So I was a seventh year lawyer, and I'd realize
Speaker 2: that every year had just rolled on, and I thought,
Speaker 2: so this idea of in the morning when you wake
Speaker 2: up and you think, I choose this day. So if
Speaker 2: I'm not happy, I'm just not going to let it
Speaker 2: roll on because it was just another day, or I
Speaker 2: wonder if I should do something about this tick Over
Speaker 2: seven years later, right, that was a inertia and so
Speaker 2: I thought, today I choose I either choose to stay
Speaker 2: or I choose to do something about it, And so
Speaker 2: what am I going to do today? So that was
Speaker 2: you know, when you want a big change. I mean,
Speaker 2: some people just want to stay, you know, and happy,
Speaker 2: and that's an awesome thing as well contentment and gratitude.
Speaker 2: But if you do want to change something, then watch
Speaker 2: that inertia.
Speaker 1: I would say, Lisa, thank you so much as always
Speaker 1: for sharing the super interesting and helpful rituals and strategies
Speaker 1: that you have in your own life. I I'm going
Speaker 1: to be listening to this conversation again and really writing
Speaker 1: down notes to help improve my process. I've learned so much,
Speaker 1: So thank.
Speaker 2: You, Thank you, Amantha. And you know this is all
Speaker 2: a fun experiment, isn't it. What works for me might
Speaker 2: not work for others. But you know, keep on sharing.
Speaker 2: And if it helps you reflect and helps you, you know,
Speaker 2: feel a little bit better than job done, and if
Speaker 2: it makes it feel worse than dougle amynight something else like,
Speaker 2: that's part of the lab, isn't it.
Speaker 1: I hope you love this chat with Lisa as much
Speaker 1: much as I did. I know there's at least a
Speaker 1: couple of strategies I'm going to be trying to implement
Speaker 1: this year to see if I can get the best
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five possible. And if you want to hear
Speaker 1: more of Lisa, you can find links to her socials
Speaker 1: and this working life in the show notes. If you
Speaker 1: like today's show, make sure you hit follow on your
Speaker 1: podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop. How
Speaker 1: I Work was recorded on the traditional land of the
Speaker 1: Warrangery people, part of the Cooler Nation