Speaker 1: The Rise and Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
Speaker 1: the land which this episode is being recorded, the yugen
Speaker 1: Bah region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their
Speaker 1: connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect
Speaker 1: to their elders past and present and extend that respect
Speaker 1: to all Aboriginal and terrest Raide Islander peoples today. Hello
Speaker 1: and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This
Speaker 1: is the podcast for ordinary people who want to do
Speaker 1: extraordinary things. Hello and welcome back to the Rise and
Speaker 1: Conquer Podcast. It is your host s Geordie Stevenson, lawyer
Speaker 1: and entrepreneur, business owner, new Mum All the Things My
Speaker 1: Loves twenty twenty two is almost over. I honestly can't
Speaker 1: believe it, Beneva can I?
Speaker 2: It feels like the longest but shortest year of my life.
Speaker 1: Yes, me too, I'm like, what did I even do? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But also I did so much So it's been such
Speaker 1: a crazy year. And you know, to think we started
Speaker 1: off with a friend getting COVID, not being able to
Speaker 1: go overseas, and then like, I feel like now everything
Speaker 1: is pretty much back to normal. Obviously, eComm not doing
Speaker 1: too well. Everything's changing and I kind of love it.
Speaker 1: It's all a bit crazy, but this is like the
Speaker 1: first year, you know, with a child navigating that whole thing,
Speaker 1: and safe to say, it has been a huge year
Speaker 1: of growth. It has been a huge year of growth
Speaker 1: in the businesses A tear, You joined us, RNC expanded,
Speaker 1: so did NHH. So much happened. It has just been
Speaker 1: such a huge year. But this episode is ten lessons
Speaker 1: that I've learned and really like leaned into this year.
Speaker 1: And I just I want to do this episode because
Speaker 1: I think they might be like aha moments for you
Speaker 1: guys too, And I just I love a lessons podcast.
Speaker 1: I listen long, I'm like nod in my head. And
Speaker 1: also there might be some stuff in here that you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I really need to reflect on this, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I need to, you know, dig deeper on this.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited for this episode. But before we get
Speaker 1: into it, just a little reminder, guys, there is only
Speaker 1: three or four days before the end of twenty twenty two,
Speaker 1: which means three or four days before we start to
Speaker 1: do it for your future self course. So guys, this
Speaker 1: course is a seven day course, a module opens up
Speaker 1: every single day from the first of January, and it's
Speaker 1: all about giving you guys tools. So every single day
Speaker 1: there's going to be a video, training, a workbook, a meditation,
Speaker 1: all three or just one of them, and it's going
Speaker 1: to run you through some tools to set yourself up
Speaker 1: for an amazing year. So this is all about digging
Speaker 1: deep and really doing things in a different way. So
Speaker 1: we're not doing smart goals, we're not just like making
Speaker 1: random goals. We're being so so intentional. So what we're
Speaker 1: working towards in the new year is really really potent
Speaker 1: and it comes from this you know, solar line place.
Speaker 1: So we're not going to get burnt out and we're
Speaker 1: not going to get to the achievement and then not
Speaker 1: feel fulfilled or you.
Speaker 2: Know such a big thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so often we finally get to achievement and then
Speaker 1: we feel empty, and it's because it wasn't actually something
Speaker 1: we wanted in the first place, and we weren't actually
Speaker 1: going after the right things. So if you're kind of
Speaker 1: sick of you know, doing things a certain way, and
Speaker 1: you want next year to be different, and you really
Speaker 1: want to literally by the seventh of John have a plan,
Speaker 1: and not like a strict plan. It's like you'll have
Speaker 1: a bit of an outline and a guideline and you'll
Speaker 1: know how to make certain decisions like you will literally
Speaker 1: if something, an opportunity or something comes up, you will
Speaker 1: use the tools in this course to then go yes
Speaker 1: or no if that makes sense, which is so so important,
Speaker 1: Like I said, if we're doing it from that very
Speaker 1: intentional way. So, yeah, it should only take you thirty
Speaker 1: minutes a day. I really wanted to make sure except
Speaker 1: for day four, we've got a nice long meditation of
Speaker 1: day for except for day for a tiers just informant.
Speaker 1: Day four's my favorite though, So it is a really
Speaker 1: really good meditation. Look, maybe up to an hour but
Speaker 1: also amazing. Yeah, do you have lifetime access though, So
Speaker 1: if you can't do it in the you know as
Speaker 1: every single day from the first of Jan, don't stress
Speaker 1: because you do have lifetime access. But by the eighth
Speaker 1: of Jan, the price will go up. So if you
Speaker 1: want to get a bloody bargain, get onto it now.
Speaker 1: Treat yourself or you know, you can get someone else
Speaker 1: to treat you. But yeah, we're really really excited about me.
Speaker 2: Youre Tia I'm so excited to do it.
Speaker 1: You literally can't wait. It's gonna be so powerful. I
Speaker 1: literally haven't let it to you do it? No, right,
Speaker 1: I'm waiting. I'm like, no, Well, don't get from the
Speaker 1: first of Jack, We're going to chext each other. But yees.
Speaker 1: So I'll put a link in the show notes for that.
Speaker 1: But also before we get into the show, I just
Speaker 1: want to say a massive thank you to every single
Speaker 1: one of you who have supported the podcast this year. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it means well to us, doesn't it tier it does.
Speaker 1: It's just it's incredible that you keep listening to our voice,
Speaker 1: and you know, I just want to say I really
Speaker 1: appreciate the support, really appreciate you coming back and engaging
Speaker 1: in the Instagram and coming in the Facebook group and
Speaker 1: sending in your hotline queues and oh, you guys are
Speaker 1: just yeah, like the best, You're the best girl gang.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys so much, and I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to bring you even more amazing content in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 1: We've got an exciting plan, don't we. A tr so
Speaker 1: exciting A Tia has got some epic guests for you.
Speaker 1: She's gonna pull out the big guns and really get
Speaker 1: them on. Yes, it's literally what a her kprs. No,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. So yeah, I just wanted to say
Speaker 1: a big, big thank you, and I hope you have
Speaker 1: the most amazing New Year's Eve see me. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get into the first lesson twenty two Detach, observe
Speaker 1: yourself and others, and don't react. That is the title.
Speaker 1: It's a long one. I love how these titles are
Speaker 1: not like snappy. No, I enjoy it, guys. So this
Speaker 1: was a one kind of So this one is all
Speaker 1: about basically I'm sure I'm sure or you have heard
Speaker 1: like the saying of like no one can make you
Speaker 1: feel a certain way, only you can make yourself feel
Speaker 1: a certain way. And I found there, you know, was
Speaker 1: a point of my year where I was kind of
Speaker 1: letting my emotions really run the show. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: would let certain people they could say something small and
Speaker 1: it would like really upset me. And I guess like
Speaker 1: a big realization that I have is like you need
Speaker 1: to take a step back and realize you're not your emotions. Yes,
Speaker 1: we have emotions, and that's amazing to have emotions, and
Speaker 1: you should feel those emotions, but you have a choice
Speaker 1: on your reaction, and you know in that moment, I
Speaker 1: just personally find if you react with emotion to that
Speaker 1: person or that thing, that it creates this like domino
Speaker 1: effect of just like like useless kind of you don't
Speaker 1: need to go down that road. Yeah, So if you
Speaker 1: can kind of detach and be like and this did
Speaker 1: happen from like like a conflict I was going through
Speaker 1: and I had to kind of detach and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is interesting. I'm feeling this way, and I think
Speaker 1: it's because of this trigger which is from my childhood
Speaker 1: or from this or from that, and instead of just
Speaker 1: reacting this way because I'm a very reactive person. I'm
Speaker 1: a leo. I love fire, I love also I love
Speaker 1: a good argument. I love that passion. To me, it's
Speaker 1: a bit of passion, but it can sometimes, you know,
Speaker 1: just not be where you want to be. So a
Speaker 1: big thing that I learned this year was like taking
Speaker 1: that step back observing this is interesting. I am not
Speaker 1: my emotions. I have emotions, but like I don't have
Speaker 1: to let it overtake me and I can be in
Speaker 1: control of my emotions. And a thing that kind of
Speaker 1: made me feel better. Is realizing that like we're aal
Speaker 1: just like souls, having a human experience, so kind of
Speaker 1: like I don't know, like sometimes things would feel like
Speaker 1: the end of the world, yeah to me. But if
Speaker 1: I could kind of be like this is interesting and
Speaker 1: observe this moment and almost like see the situation from
Speaker 1: a bird's eye view, not from your emotions, it's kind
Speaker 1: of like, Okay, this is an interesting human experience. Can
Speaker 1: I learn something from here? How can I move forward?
Speaker 1: How can I not let this like engross me? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And that was like I practiced that I did that
Speaker 1: like really served me well this year.
Speaker 2: That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Thank you, dear you're alaka.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: Next one, a tia. Your external world is a reflection
Speaker 1: of your inner world. This one gets me every time.
Speaker 1: It gets me so good. We need to say this
Speaker 1: to each other everywhere, Yeah, because what's happening in here?
Speaker 1: Because you probably need to shift a couple. So I
Speaker 1: had this really big realization and it was actually quite
Speaker 1: recently in the year, and I did a full post
Speaker 1: on it, so you may have seen on Instagram, but
Speaker 1: I kind of I think I even went on a
Speaker 1: random episode about this ado Yeah, Okay, so you guys
Speaker 1: have heard it, but it's just such a strong lesson
Speaker 1: for me that I was like, I need to say
Speaker 1: this again. So my whole thing was I was doing
Speaker 1: all so like, you know, to get back to my
Speaker 1: mojo or to get back to myself. You know, I
Speaker 1: was going through my postpartum journey. I was changing all
Speaker 1: these external things, and I was like trying all these
Speaker 1: different things, changing these external things. And after that, like
Speaker 1: I sat with myself and I'm like, I still literally
Speaker 1: feel the fucking same, what is happening right now? And
Speaker 1: then the light bulb moment went off, and it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, your reality is a reflection of your internal world.
Speaker 1: So if you don't like something in your reality, or
Speaker 1: if things are not going your way, or if you're
Speaker 1: not feeling aligned, you need to shift something internally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And this was such a huge realization, and I think
Speaker 1: it's something really important that we can be doing more regularly,
Speaker 1: like checking in with ourselves and being like, hang on
Speaker 1: a second. If you know you're feeling really rushed and
Speaker 1: you feel like you've got no time, like that's something
Speaker 1: that comes up for me so repetitively, and so I've
Speaker 1: realized like that's even something that it's like internally, I
Speaker 1: need to see what's happening in my mind of feeling
Speaker 1: rushed and feeling like I have no time, and making
Speaker 1: sure I'm constantly doing the inner work to shift rather
Speaker 1: than changing external stuff like getting a new job or
Speaker 1: getting a new new friend or a new partner or
Speaker 1: that sort of thing. It's like, if you don't fix
Speaker 1: the inside, the outside is going to feel the same,
Speaker 1: even if you get that new thing or change that
Speaker 1: thing externally. My third lesson of twenty twenty two boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries.
Speaker 1: I wrote it three times because I need someone to
Speaker 1: continuously say this to me. So this again is such
Speaker 1: a story in my twenty twenty two of accepting things
Speaker 1: and then coming to regret them. Yeah, and not listening
Speaker 1: to my intuition when I accepted them, And then I
Speaker 1: would get really angry at myself because I didn't listen
Speaker 1: to my intuition.
Speaker 2: Have you ever, I'll, as an example on a smaller scale,
Speaker 2: say something felt intuitively right, like going on a weekend
Speaker 2: away with a bunch of friends. Yeah, and you book
Speaker 2: it two months in advance because where you're going or
Speaker 2: whatever it is, and then you get to like a
Speaker 2: week out.
Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, I don't want to go.
Speaker 2: What would you do? What would I think twenty twenty
Speaker 2: two Georgie would have followed through? Yeah, but what is
Speaker 2: what would twenty twenty three Georgie do. Well.
Speaker 1: I think it depends on the circumstances of why you're
Speaker 1: feeling that need of this doesn't intuitively feel right, Like
Speaker 1: if it's like your cup is literally so depleted because
Speaker 1: you know, energy wise, then it's like a straight okay,
Speaker 1: I have to pull out. I have to you know,
Speaker 1: cancel that trip. If it's like a thing of maybe
Speaker 1: someone on the trip that you don't want to be
Speaker 1: in the energy of, maybe it's talking to that person
Speaker 1: and being very upfront. Like there's a lot of different
Speaker 1: ways to look at it. But yeah, definitely old Georgia
Speaker 1: would be like, all right, we'll go out of the
Speaker 1: trap your bag, But New Georgie is going to, you know,
Speaker 1: look into that thing. But also I think it's about obviously,
Speaker 1: if you're planning a trip, you do need to plan
Speaker 1: that in advance, but like not planning things where you
Speaker 1: think you might regret it in the first place, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and being like, hey, can we just you know, pencil
Speaker 1: it in. Can we feel this out? Are you going
Speaker 1: on a trip? No?
Speaker 2: No, no, No, that's just like an example, a small
Speaker 2: example I could think of.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think a big thing about boundaries is like
Speaker 1: checking in with yourself consistently, and like, for example, before
Speaker 1: I booked in that trip, I would look at my
Speaker 1: calendar around that time because for me, it's always going
Speaker 1: to be about the energy. Yeah, I'd never book a
Speaker 1: trip with people I might have a problem with. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it would be what is actually happening on happening
Speaker 1: during that month and does it look like I could physically,
Speaker 1: you know, do that thing and have the capacity and
Speaker 1: being very not only intuitive but also logical of will
Speaker 1: I have the physical energy? Yeah, that's like a huge thing.
Speaker 1: And again that's about like fully checking in with yourself
Speaker 1: and always thinking about that side of things rather than
Speaker 1: just booking things willy nilly. Yeah, that's all right. So
Speaker 1: next year is my year of no. I've you want something? No, no,
Speaker 1: get ready for the year of no. I no, no, no.
Speaker 1: That's a bit trannic, but basically next year and like,
Speaker 1: I hope you guys hold me to this, but it's like,
Speaker 1: unless it is a fuck yes, it's a no, because
Speaker 1: anytime you say yes to something, you're saying no to
Speaker 1: something else that may be more aligned. That's a bit scary.
Speaker 1: And I do find that I am someone like I
Speaker 1: don't want to let people down, and if it is
Speaker 1: like I get stuck in like the shiny things, if
Speaker 1: it's like a shiny opportunity, I'm like, you know, like
Speaker 1: I should want this thing, or this would be a
Speaker 1: great bucket list. You know, when I'm talking about lists,
Speaker 1: I'm more talking about achievements because I'm the sicker like that.
Speaker 1: But it's like, this would be a really great thing
Speaker 1: to like tick off the list in achiefence wise, And again,
Speaker 1: my big thing is checking in with myself and being like,
Speaker 1: do I actually want to do that thing? If I do,
Speaker 1: what's the reasoning. Is it because I just want another
Speaker 1: achievement under my belt? Is it because I'm trying to
Speaker 1: please someone else? Is it you know, like what is
Speaker 1: the why? And actually getting down to that and then
Speaker 1: also sitting in the intuition of do I actually want
Speaker 1: to do this thing? Is it a hell yes? Or
Speaker 1: is it a no? And getting really really strong with
Speaker 1: that because yeah, this year I kind of just like
Speaker 1: said yes to things that I didn't really think about.
Speaker 1: I did not check in with myself before I said yes.
Speaker 1: I just said yes because I'm so used to saying yes.
Speaker 1: And then this year happened and I became a mother,
Speaker 1: and I realized how well more I think. The reason
Speaker 1: why it's so important now is a yes to something
Speaker 1: might mean no to ivy and that's just something I'm
Speaker 1: not willing to sacrifice. And I didn't realize that when
Speaker 1: I was, you know, even pregnant. I just I did
Speaker 1: not have the understanding. And I agreed to a lot
Speaker 1: of things, and I booked a lot of things in
Speaker 1: and then you know, this new twenty twenty two me
Speaker 1: had to like live out these you know, decisions that
Speaker 1: I had previously made because I am some one of
Speaker 1: my word and I don't break promises. But it was
Speaker 1: such a good lesson to feel like, wow, I need
Speaker 1: to be real I need to be stronger my boundaries
Speaker 1: because I feel like over the years I have been
Speaker 1: getting stronger. But this year was like a huge moment
Speaker 1: where I was like, yeah, this year was awake up call.
Speaker 1: So that was a huge, huge lesson for me.
Speaker 2: What's your next lesson?
Speaker 1: Lesson? For of twenty twenty two, I gotta stop saying
Speaker 1: that because we clearly know and again this is like
Speaker 1: kind of I don't want it to sound counterintuitive to
Speaker 1: the first lesson, lesson of like observing your feelings but
Speaker 1: not judging my emotions and feeling into my emotions was
Speaker 1: also a lesson I learned this year because I realized
Speaker 1: an interesting thing about myself. And like in the past,
Speaker 1: I have been called cold, and I've been cold that
Speaker 1: like I'm a very you know, just I get on
Speaker 1: with things and I get shit done and I attached. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can be detached and very into my mask illn energy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I've like always kind of known that. I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool.
Speaker 1: I honestly think it's like a super power because I
Speaker 1: like just get on with my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But I think for the thirst year again motherhood, really
Speaker 1: I started to notice my emotions and I thought it
Speaker 1: was very interesting because there was a couple of key
Speaker 1: things that happened in the year that I thought, I
Speaker 1: think I should feel a bit happier than I actually do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I just thought this is interesting, Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I should actually feel a little bit happier. And I
Speaker 1: felt I don't want to say numb, because it's like
Speaker 1: it's not to that extent, but it is somewhat numb
Speaker 1: of this is nice. Yeah, well, I think I realized
Speaker 1: because someone else had such an extreme emotion, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to compare myself, but I did think it
Speaker 1: was interesting and I kind of then did a bit
Speaker 1: of reflection and I was like, I think I am
Speaker 1: someone who is very great at composure and very great.
Speaker 1: I come from an English background. Both my parents are
Speaker 1: from English. I was like, what, they don't show emotion,
Speaker 1: but I'm very good at composure, and I'm very good
Speaker 1: at kind of keeping this like neutral level. So it
Speaker 1: very proper, very proper. I've gone from London stop no,
Speaker 1: very kind of in saying that that goes the other way,
Speaker 1: where also the sad emotions or the angry emotions, and
Speaker 1: you know those quote unquote negative emotions, I also don't
Speaker 1: feel them very deeply. So I'm almost stuck in this
Speaker 1: like neutral state, which isn't bad because then you don't
Speaker 1: get really really sad, yeah really really, you know, but
Speaker 1: then also I'm not feeling those high high emotions and
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling the low low emotions I'm finding this
Speaker 1: like middle period, and so I kind of, you know,
Speaker 1: I was speaking to a professional about it, and they
Speaker 1: did say, this is like a coping mechanism that you
Speaker 1: kind of take on from when you're a child, where
Speaker 1: you don't feel safe to show certain emotions and so
Speaker 1: you kind of keep in that like neutral numb state.
Speaker 1: And I don't think, you know, I'm an extreme case
Speaker 1: or anything like that, but I did think it was
Speaker 1: like interesting, and it was also the first time I
Speaker 1: wanted to explore that more. And I was actually having
Speaker 1: a chat with Ellie and Jamie because they really feel
Speaker 1: their emotions, like they can really cry at anything. Like
Speaker 1: Jamie literally cries sad anything in like the most beautiful way,
Speaker 1: like when she's really happy, like she could be really
Speaker 1: happy for me and she would cry. Yeah, And like
Speaker 1: I just never, in a millionaires whatever feel like doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But then I was like, obviously, again I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to compare myself, but I was like, I do think
Speaker 1: it's interesting, and so they were like, the next time
Speaker 1: you are feeling, you know, sad or happy, like instead
Speaker 1: of just like briefly feeling that, really try and feel
Speaker 1: in the emotion and see what happens. And I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: So there was this day and you know, there was
Speaker 1: like there was a bit of drama, and again it
Speaker 1: was a situation where I had said yes to something
Speaker 1: that I from the start knew I didn't want to
Speaker 1: say yes to something. And then it meant, you know,
Speaker 1: that I didn't get time with Ivy, and I was
Speaker 1: feeling really upset with myself that I had made this decision.
Speaker 1: So I was going to get coffee and I sat
Speaker 1: in my car and I like really felt into the
Speaker 1: emotion and I cried and I like sat crying in
Speaker 1: my car, and then I really felt in it, and
Speaker 1: I felt really sad and really upset, and I cried
Speaker 1: and then the like then the emotion left and it
Speaker 1: was done. And I kind of thought to myself, how
Speaker 1: many times have I not fully felt an emotion and
Speaker 1: suppressed it and then it maybe came up in a
Speaker 1: trigger or anxiety or because.
Speaker 2: My it's like leaking energy.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I was like, oh, this is something I
Speaker 1: need to like step into more. Yeah. So a big
Speaker 1: lesson that I learned this year was like, I actually
Speaker 1: need to feel into my emotions more because I'm just
Speaker 1: someone who doesn't. So that was that one I too,
Speaker 1: do you feel like that?
Speaker 2: I used to be very emotional and then really toxic events.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, and that was when I learned to control,
Speaker 2: because I would fry all the time. Oh, or like
Speaker 2: not all the time, but like once every two weeks
Speaker 2: there'd be something that would happen and I'd end up
Speaker 2: in tears, and I'm like, I can't let things affect
Speaker 2: me this much. And then in the decision to stop
Speaker 2: letting things affect me that much, I almost dialed down
Speaker 2: the switch of my emotions because even through school and
Speaker 2: like first few years out of school, I was like
Speaker 2: the most emotional person. I'd watch like a Disney movie
Speaker 2: and I'd be in tears. Every time I went to
Speaker 2: the cinema, I'd be in tears with happiness or sadness
Speaker 2: or just anything. And then the past couple of years,
Speaker 2: I'd say barely cried.
Speaker 1: Interesting. That's so interesting that you kind of have like
Speaker 1: a pinpoint event too. That's really good. Yeah, yeah, not
Speaker 1: really good, but.
Speaker 2: Well, hearing what you said that that was your childhood
Speaker 2: that sort of suppressed your emotions. That now, for me,
Speaker 2: that is definitely what caused me to go I'm almost like,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna let people control my emotions. And instead
Speaker 2: of not letting people control my emotions, I just kind
Speaker 2: of turned them off.
Speaker 1: Oh no, So do you want to feel them a
Speaker 1: bit more? I think I do.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have enjoyed not we are cold, bous, we are cold,
Speaker 1: you know. I like, I'm not gonna lie. I do
Speaker 1: enjoy sometimes like not feeling them. Yeah, it's just like
Speaker 1: it's really like the shittiest thing will happen.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, let's go on the next day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then especially in this office, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: life happens for me. Fine, I'm like, oh goodness, I
Speaker 1: that though.
Speaker 2: I have a question, Yeah, what is the difference between
Speaker 2: feeling the sadness and also like trusting bit?
Speaker 1: So here's the thing is, I think you can do
Speaker 1: both because you feel it and then it goes away,
Speaker 1: so then you can go into the trusting.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think we kind of got it a
Speaker 1: little bit wrong here and we need to like and
Speaker 1: I'm not talking like you know, you have to be
Speaker 1: crying all the time. No, Because also I was talking
Speaker 1: to my parents about this and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but maybe you're just like not an emotional person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, could be, but like we're like we
Speaker 1: were talking about my childhood and stuff. But I think
Speaker 1: I think the whole thing of this is I do
Speaker 1: want to feel those emotions a little bit more. So
Speaker 1: I think it depends on what season you're in, because
Speaker 1: also I went the last you know, twenty eight years
Speaker 1: and not feeling them and it was great. So it
Speaker 1: really depends what you're about. But obviously, especially being a
Speaker 1: new mum, you know, with Ivy and those things, I
Speaker 1: feel like for her too, I want her to really
Speaker 1: feel her emotions and be able to express herself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so if I can't even do that, why do I,
Speaker 1: you know, expect her to feel comfortable to do for
Speaker 1: doing that. So that's like a big reason why I,
Speaker 1: you know, wanted to explore that. But it is something
Speaker 1: like I think it's just saying, you know, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to check in and see where I go. But
Speaker 1: I just thought that it was definitely an interesting realization
Speaker 1: for me this year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a good one, all right.
Speaker 1: Next one, number five, don't overcomplicate it. Gosh, we do
Speaker 1: this a lot. Oh my gosh. This is like something
Speaker 1: especially like I can overthink things, yeah, And I can
Speaker 1: get in my head about things, and I do sometimes
Speaker 1: find myself having anxious thoughts, which then you know, spial
Speaker 1: spirals myself into more anxiety.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And something that I realized this year that really kind
Speaker 1: of helped me get out of my head and feel
Speaker 1: grounded again was just like simplifying things and being like,
Speaker 1: you know, like I feel like, you know, the question
Speaker 1: of like will I care about this in five years?
Speaker 1: Is it really that big of a deal that I
Speaker 1: need to be future tripping and overthinking it? And I
Speaker 1: just feel like this has been so helpful for me,
Speaker 1: especially you know, my whole thing I'm being fucking banging
Speaker 1: on about about you know, finding my mojo back and
Speaker 1: being creative now that i'm you know, a mother, and
Speaker 1: how I've adult journey with that, yeah, and like to
Speaker 1: get out of that like weird funk. I literally was
Speaker 1: just like, maybe exactly how you are is exactly how
Speaker 1: creative you need to be in this season and that's it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And you know, just being like, stop overthinking it.
Speaker 2: And stop comparing yourself to previous versions of yourself, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and just.
Speaker 1: Let things be simple because you're literally making life harder
Speaker 1: for yourself. And I think, like we all do this,
Speaker 1: Like we've all had friends and they're like spiring them
Speaker 1: and they're like, but what if this happens? What if
Speaker 1: this happens? And you go, oh, it doesn't matter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I feel like we need to do that with ourselves,
Speaker 1: and I just yeah, I think yeah. And so the
Speaker 1: vibe for this lesson was really like, can I simplify
Speaker 1: what is happening right now? Because yeah, I do tend
Speaker 1: to be in my head. Next point next lesson, the
Speaker 1: grass is greener where you water it.
Speaker 2: I love this lesson.
Speaker 1: Oh it's a tale as old as time. So this
Speaker 1: is very much and to you know, be very honest
Speaker 1: and very personal. Like the year. The first year of
Speaker 1: parenthood is pretty wild in regards to your relationship with
Speaker 1: your partner. And I feel like, you know, me and
Speaker 1: Tim have definitely gone through some you know, testing times
Speaker 1: and some like challenges being new parents. And something I
Speaker 1: always come back to is like things always look better
Speaker 1: somewhere else. You know, people on social media have the
Speaker 1: perfect marriage, or they have the perfect child or the
Speaker 1: perfect newborn bubble, or you know, everything looks greener. But
Speaker 1: if you can kind of I guess for me because
Speaker 1: I'm in control freak. Something I always love doing is
Speaker 1: like I actually get to take back control. And the
Speaker 1: grass is green and where I water it. So if
Speaker 1: there's an issue in my life or there's something that
Speaker 1: it's like I feel like is not at the you know,
Speaker 1: level that I want, I can actually choose to water
Speaker 1: that grass. I can choose to fill up that relationship.
Speaker 1: I can choose to put more energy into that thing.
Speaker 1: So instead of being like, oh, but you know that
Speaker 1: girl over there, like she's achieved so much and she's
Speaker 1: doing this and he's doing that and they have this
Speaker 1: relationship or blah blah blah, it's like where in my
Speaker 1: life would it feel really good to put more energy
Speaker 1: or you know, to feel better and like looking at
Speaker 1: your own life and you know, staying in your own lane.
Speaker 1: I think it's like a lesson that I will continuously
Speaker 1: need to be told. Yeah, for sure, And especially with
Speaker 1: social media, like I think we get really wrapped up
Speaker 1: in sometimes it's not even other people's life, but even
Speaker 1: just the illusion of perfection in people's lives. It's actually
Speaker 1: you know, with these like reels and tiktoks of like
Speaker 1: very aesthetic morning routines and very aesthetic lives and self
Speaker 1: love and everything is very at the you know, highest level.
Speaker 1: It can feel like, you know, things aren't as good
Speaker 1: in your life because you've got these you know pictures
Speaker 1: constantly getting consumed in your head of what other people
Speaker 1: are experiencing. But it's like it's all an illusion. It's
Speaker 1: all like not their full you know life or anything
Speaker 1: like that. So like the biggest lesson, and I feel
Speaker 1: like I will say this every year is like the
Speaker 1: grass is greener where you water it. So if there
Speaker 1: is something in your life you want to change, is
Speaker 1: you know, focus your energy on that. Stop thinking the
Speaker 1: outside thing is better.
Speaker 2: What's your next?
Speaker 1: Lesson? Lesson seven, Making your word law. I love this sentence.
Speaker 2: I love it too.
Speaker 1: So this is a lesson that I've stolen from my
Speaker 1: favorite book right now, thirty three Steps to Your Infinite
Speaker 1: Self by Stuart Wild Your Genius Start. So he talks
Speaker 1: about this concept of making your word law. And I
Speaker 1: loved this because I was listening to this audio book
Speaker 1: a couple of months ago, and it was during my
Speaker 1: stage where I was toying with the whole five am
Speaker 1: wake up situation. But I was kind of going flipping flopping.
Speaker 1: So I'd sometimes get up early, but then sometimes I'd
Speaker 1: be like, oh fuck it, I'll just sleep some more.
Speaker 1: And this whole concept is he's kind of saying, make
Speaker 1: your word law. So if you say you're going to
Speaker 1: do something out of respect for yourself, you need to
Speaker 1: do that thing. And if you know you're not going
Speaker 1: to do that thing, do not say it. Make your
Speaker 1: word law. And that also then is very much like
Speaker 1: if you say you're going to do something to like
Speaker 1: for someone else, like make that law to and be
Speaker 1: a very integral person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where it's like, say what you're going to do,
Speaker 2: that's like, if you're not going to do it, don't.
Speaker 1: Say it, don't say it, and just be like very
Speaker 1: fucking honest. And that's like a quality that I absolutely
Speaker 1: fucking love in someone else. Yeah, Like if there's someone
Speaker 1: who like says what they're going to do, I'm like,
Speaker 1: integrity fucking love it. Yeah, And it's like, why is
Speaker 1: that not something that I should prioritize in myself? And
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, you're so right to do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so something I, you know, begun to do was
Speaker 1: like if I say I'm going to do something. My
Speaker 1: word is law and I'm going to be it's like
Speaker 1: a form of respect for yourself, which I also love
Speaker 1: that concept. And then I started doing the whole well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wake up at five am and I'm going
Speaker 1: to go to this gym class. And I just found
Speaker 1: it so easy to then wake up at five am
Speaker 1: because I almost had this.
Speaker 2: Like well I have to, well I have to because
Speaker 2: I said it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And yeah, the whole the whole concept like really like
Speaker 1: change my life a bit. So I thought we better
Speaker 1: add that this lesson in.
Speaker 2: I love it because it's almost like if you don't
Speaker 2: have that respect for yourself, how can you expect anybody
Speaker 2: else to have it for you?
Speaker 1: Yes, so love that point. Yeah, or like do it.
Speaker 2: To you as well, because I find sometimes there'll be
Speaker 2: people that are a bit flaky with stuff.
Speaker 1: Now it thing's worse than flake. Oh all those people
Speaker 1: like I'm about to fucking this is me. But like
Speaker 1: those people who were like continuously late, and you'll even
Speaker 1: be like do not be late, and like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm about to fucking lose it. Anyway, I am someone
Speaker 1: who continues to be late, but not anymore A tia
Speaker 1: no and.
Speaker 2: It's just like if I say I'm going to go
Speaker 2: to the gym and then I don't go to the gym,
Speaker 2: and the people around me see that, then how like
Speaker 2: it's not really on them if they say they're going
Speaker 2: to do something with me and they don't do it
Speaker 2: because they know that I'm that kind of person.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like being that sort of person too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you don't want to be that person?
Speaker 2: No, And so I need to Actually that is going
Speaker 2: to be one of the things I take into twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three because I need to make my.
Speaker 1: Word law for myself. Put it on your list.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's a long word.
Speaker 1: It's fine. Yeah, it's good. Love that all right, next lesson. Okay,
Speaker 1: So this is a bit of a manifesting concept, which
Speaker 1: is like so obvious. It's something I know, but this
Speaker 1: year I've had to really implement it. And it's like
Speaker 1: the future is now and everything you want is already
Speaker 1: happening that you need to believe that. M So this
Speaker 1: like this concept is like kind of so like the
Speaker 1: whole thing of manifesting is, you know, get on the
Speaker 1: vibe of what you want, act as if it's already happened.
Speaker 1: The universe will only give you what you believe you
Speaker 1: can have and what you're on the same vibration for.
Speaker 1: So you know, if you want something in the future,
Speaker 1: don't be and think that it's in the future. It's
Speaker 1: already yours. You have to act and be like it's
Speaker 1: already yours.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes we can get very in our
Speaker 1: own heads of oh, well, like you know, I'll act
Speaker 1: that certain way when I've got that thing. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: you need to act like that now, and then that
Speaker 1: thing will come to you and be attracted to you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it is just something I've you know, tried to
Speaker 1: really really embody. Like A huge, huge takeaway for me
Speaker 1: this year is making decisions from my future self. So
Speaker 1: when I'm saying yes and no to an opportunity or
Speaker 1: and obviously like a huge thing is you do need
Speaker 1: to be clear on your next level self. And I
Speaker 1: got so clear of my next level self after I
Speaker 1: did all the work books with my girlfriend of the
Speaker 1: do It for your Future Self course, And so now
Speaker 1: I'm so clear of like my next level Georgie and
Speaker 1: so big, big lesson. A big thing I'm taking into
Speaker 1: the new year is not making decisions of how I
Speaker 1: you know, feel in this moment. Obviously huge thing is
Speaker 1: like using intuition but being like my next level self
Speaker 1: because I am her. Now, what would she decide if
Speaker 1: I really had those things? I'm interacting? What would she decide?
Speaker 1: And I think we very much tend to make And
Speaker 1: the reason why I wanted to put this in is
Speaker 1: because my girlfriend who I went on the iver a
Speaker 1: night stay with Listenda when we were you know, doing
Speaker 1: our next level selves together, she was even talking about
Speaker 1: like she's at the stage where she's ready to get
Speaker 1: help in her business because she currently does it all herself.
Speaker 1: She had like huge block around it, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you also have these amazing high goals and it's
Speaker 1: like if you have achieved those goals, would that person
Speaker 1: what would they say about, you know, having help in
Speaker 1: that regards Like they'd be like, yeah, of course they
Speaker 1: need help because I'm achieving all these goals and I
Speaker 1: have all these things. Of course that's easy. Where she
Speaker 1: had like a block of like making the decision from
Speaker 1: where she is at now rather than where she wants
Speaker 1: to be. Yeah, And that was such a huge a
Speaker 1: moment for her too, which I love, and so that
Speaker 1: is like such, it's an embodiment sort of part of manifestation.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we really forget that because it's easy
Speaker 1: to make the vision boards and want this big life
Speaker 1: and you know, really dream big, but it's not easy
Speaker 1: to embody that when you don't have it. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: that is truly, truly like the.
Speaker 2: Hack what's your ninth lesson?
Speaker 1: So this is like again a lesson you've probably heard,
Speaker 1: but again has been such a focus for me this year.
Speaker 1: And it's just like the people that around you are everything.
Speaker 1: And it's that old saying of like you are the
Speaker 1: average of the five people you hang around the most.
Speaker 1: How do you feel when I say that to you? Too?
Speaker 1: Pretty good?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: I love that my five people are pretty good now.
Speaker 2: I never realized how true that was until Yeah, I
Speaker 2: was surrounded by a completely different bunch of people that
Speaker 2: had different values, and it shifts how you think about things.
Speaker 2: You're like, well, that's not like it's a rare thing
Speaker 2: to have. It's normal and I can do it too.
Speaker 1: Everyone literally does it. It rubs off. Yeah, it rubs off.
Speaker 1: The people around you rub off on you so much,
Speaker 1: and it's often hard to see it's really hard because
Speaker 1: you're like you're so in it. And so this has
Speaker 1: been something this year that I've really been intentional about
Speaker 1: with like just who I'm spending my time with and
Speaker 1: like you know, after whether I'm hanging out with someone
Speaker 1: and it's like is my cup full?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or is it empty? And like does this does this
Speaker 1: serve me? And then also kind of thinking even you know,
Speaker 1: like even in Naked Harvest and ironc being like, you know,
Speaker 1: the people around me, are they amplifying up? Like are
Speaker 1: they dreaming big? Because that's really important of like you know,
Speaker 1: you need to obviously have that common goal and business,
Speaker 1: but also have those goals and ambitions like outside of business,
Speaker 1: and just be even in the type of people. And
Speaker 1: that's why in the business episode we recorded quite a
Speaker 1: while ago to here, I said, like it way matters,
Speaker 1: Like if someone's resume is amazing, but they come in
Speaker 1: and into and I'm like, this is culturally like workplace culture,
Speaker 1: this is not gonna work. I will always hire off,
Speaker 1: Like are they going to fit in? Are we on
Speaker 1: the same vibe? Yeah? For sure? And I think this
Speaker 1: is like something that we get very comfortable with the
Speaker 1: people around us. And I like I'm not saying like
Speaker 1: go out and you know, break up with your partner
Speaker 1: and get new friends, leave your family behind and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, because often you know there are people that
Speaker 1: maybe aren't serving you and maybe are training you a
Speaker 1: little bit. Who are family? Who are you know? People
Speaker 1: you can't exactly get rid of. And it's not about that,
Speaker 1: but it's just about being conscious of like the amount
Speaker 1: of time you spend with that person, or really putting
Speaker 1: boundaries in about what you talk about with those those people,
Speaker 1: and just being so intentionalble And I think also, like
Speaker 1: I said, like always auditing that and checking with yourself
Speaker 1: and checking around with like, hey, who am I actually
Speaker 1: spending most of my time with? What are their values?
Speaker 1: What's the vibe doing? Maybe need to shift things?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And I think like it's also important to acknowledge
Speaker 2: that you can have people in your life that fill
Speaker 2: your cup in specific areas of your life, definitely, And
Speaker 2: you can't expect to get everything from one person. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And it also needs to come from yourself too. Yes,
Speaker 2: So are you feeling your own cup? Where does who
Speaker 2: fills your self development cup? Who feels your let's go
Speaker 2: be fun and spontaneous cup? It doesn't have to be
Speaker 2: the same person who feels your oh my gosh, let's
Speaker 2: talk about all the pop culture because we both enjoy
Speaker 2: that sort of gossipy stuff cup and find those things.
Speaker 2: And it's like almost you can have the best friend
Speaker 2: in the world but never be able to travel with
Speaker 2: that best friend, And there's a friend who you might
Speaker 2: not be as close with that you travel better with
Speaker 2: because of how you travel. And that's like a really
Speaker 2: left field example, but it's just not expecting everything from
Speaker 2: one person, whether that person be a family member or
Speaker 2: your partner or yes, a friend, Like the only person
Speaker 2: you can expect everything from is yourself. I love that
Speaker 2: and then pay everyone else accordingly.
Speaker 1: Yes. And also, and that's also a big thing of
Speaker 1: if you're maybe thinking about your friends and you have
Speaker 1: that you know, more surface level, more just fun and
Speaker 1: you laugh a lot with that friend, and then you
Speaker 1: have that kind of deeper connection friend where you talk
Speaker 1: about personal development and stuff, but also thinking about is
Speaker 1: there anyone where you're maybe missing something from a connection
Speaker 1: and maybe that is something that you can manifest in
Speaker 1: the new year and you can attract, Like there's definitely
Speaker 1: a kind of hole in like my people who surround
Speaker 1: me that I'm like, next year, I really would love
Speaker 1: that field with a person around me because I'm really
Speaker 1: craving that connection.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that also is really important because yeah, like
Speaker 1: it's also about being like you actually deserve to have
Speaker 1: the connection you want. Yes, yeah, so it's like you
Speaker 1: can't be picky and you also if there is a
Speaker 1: connection you're lacking, like, don't just try and fill it
Speaker 1: with like average connection. Yeah yeah, I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: average people average connection and being like wait and be
Speaker 1: like very specific with what you want and I guarantee
Speaker 1: you will be able to attract that thing and person
Speaker 1: in Sorry, Yeah that connection Okay, amazing and very last
Speaker 1: lesson of twenty twenty two create space to allow things
Speaker 1: to fall into place. So I went on a whole
Speaker 1: rate about this in I think it was my Friday
Speaker 1: episode and a huge thing that I'm leaning into leaning
Speaker 1: into is creating space in you know, my life for
Speaker 1: things to fall into place in maybe mysterious ways. I
Speaker 1: highly suggest you go listen to that episode if you haven't,
Speaker 1: because it's all about rendering and leaning into uncertainty because
Speaker 1: as humans we do not like to do that, especially
Speaker 1: if you're a control freak like me. But a big
Speaker 1: part of this is my year was so packed filled
Speaker 1: and it felt very unaligned because I was not checking
Speaker 1: in with myself because you know, all these lessons I've
Speaker 1: literally just spoken about and obviously they're lessons for a reason,
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful I've learned them. But a big
Speaker 1: thing is I took space. I think it was around
Speaker 1: October and I took a couple of weeks and it
Speaker 1: really fuck it really like sorted me out. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I've realized how much I need to have space and
Speaker 1: I don't have to just fill my calendar and my
Speaker 1: time and you know, tick things off and being very
Speaker 1: intentional and kind of leaving space and going some time
Speaker 1: and then checking with yourself and then leaving space and
Speaker 1: then going some more. And I think there is just
Speaker 1: so much like sweetness in doing that, and that's something
Speaker 1: I'm really really trying to step in. And I know
Speaker 1: that it's obviously not going to be possible, you know,
Speaker 1: for everyone in it. Actually I feel like you can.
Speaker 1: I fee feel like you can really create space for yourself.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just find that that has been so
Speaker 1: important to me, and honestly, my biggest lesson this year
Speaker 1: and something I'm really leaning in for the new year.
Speaker 1: I love that. That is it, my loves. I hope
Speaker 1: you enjoyed ten lessons of twenty twenty two. And then,
Speaker 1: of course, if you do want to join us for
Speaker 1: the do it for your future self. There is only
Speaker 1: I think about four or five days left to enroll
Speaker 1: and start on the first of January, so I'll also
Speaker 1: put a link in the show notes for that. But
Speaker 1: I hope you're having an amazing festive season, and I
Speaker 1: hope you had an amazing Christmas, and I hope you
Speaker 1: have a lovely new year. So if I don't chat
Speaker 1: to you before, then bye. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: listening to to another episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast.
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed it and want more, come connect with
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Riseinconquer dot podcast and join our
Speaker 1: Facebook discussion group, a Rise and Concer podcast community. We're
Speaker 1: an independent podcast and we have a small team, so
Speaker 1: we do appreciate your time and support. If you have
Speaker 1: a spare moment, a follow or subscribe on whatever platform
Speaker 1: you listen to would be so amazing, And look, if
Speaker 1: you're feeling extra kind a review on Apple Podcasts would
Speaker 1: be great.