WEBVTT - 10 LESSONS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE IN 2022 📝✨ 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.440 The Rise and Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.720 the land which this episode is being recorded, the yugen 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:12.200 Bah region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:16.000 connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.640 to their elders past and present and extend that respect 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:32.920 to all Aboriginal and terrest Raide Islander peoples today. Hello 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:36.440 and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:39.159 is the podcast for ordinary people who want to do 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:52.839 extraordinary things. Hello and welcome back to the Rise and 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.080 Conquer Podcast. It is your host s Geordie Stevenson, lawyer 0:00:56.200 --> 0:01:01.960 and entrepreneur, business owner, new Mum All the Things My 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:06.640 Loves twenty twenty two is almost over. I honestly can't 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:08.360 believe it, Beneva can I? 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:11.600 It feels like the longest but shortest year of my life. 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:15.280 Yes, me too, I'm like, what did I even do? Oh? Yeah? 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:20.640 But also I did so much So it's been such 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:23.279 a crazy year. And you know, to think we started 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:26.360 off with a friend getting COVID, not being able to 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:29.560 go overseas, and then like, I feel like now everything 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:33.000 is pretty much back to normal. Obviously, eComm not doing 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:35.840 too well. Everything's changing and I kind of love it. 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:38.400 It's all a bit crazy, but this is like the 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:43.640 first year, you know, with a child navigating that whole thing, 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.240 and safe to say, it has been a huge year 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.600 of growth. It has been a huge year of growth 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:54.040 in the businesses A tear, You joined us, RNC expanded, 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:57.800 so did NHH. So much happened. It has just been 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:02.920 such a huge year. But this episode is ten lessons 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:06.440 that I've learned and really like leaned into this year. 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:08.720 And I just I want to do this episode because 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:10.720 I think they might be like aha moments for you 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:15.080 guys too, And I just I love a lessons podcast. 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:19.280 I listen long, I'm like nod in my head. And 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:22.120 also there might be some stuff in here that you're like, oh, 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:24.840 you know, I really need to reflect on this, yeah, 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:26.600 and I need to, you know, dig deeper on this. 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:30.000 So I'm excited for this episode. But before we get 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:33.800 into it, just a little reminder, guys, there is only 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.919 three or four days before the end of twenty twenty two, 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.720 which means three or four days before we start to 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:45.320 do it for your future self course. So guys, this 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:49.880 course is a seven day course, a module opens up 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:52.959 every single day from the first of January, and it's 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:56.359 all about giving you guys tools. So every single day 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.640 there's going to be a video, training, a workbook, a meditation, 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:02.600 all three or just one of them, and it's going 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:06.160 to run you through some tools to set yourself up 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:11.040 for an amazing year. So this is all about digging 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:14.919 deep and really doing things in a different way. So 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:17.880 we're not doing smart goals, we're not just like making 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:21.239 random goals. We're being so so intentional. So what we're 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:25.880 working towards in the new year is really really potent 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:29.799 and it comes from this you know, solar line place. 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:32.079 So we're not going to get burnt out and we're 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.680 not going to get to the achievement and then not 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:36.680 feel fulfilled or you. 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:37.640 Know such a big thing. 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:40.600 Yeah, so often we finally get to achievement and then 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.880 we feel empty, and it's because it wasn't actually something 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:45.880 we wanted in the first place, and we weren't actually 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.600 going after the right things. So if you're kind of 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.800 sick of you know, doing things a certain way, and 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:53.080 you want next year to be different, and you really 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:57.600 want to literally by the seventh of John have a plan, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:01.040 and not like a strict plan. It's like you'll have 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.400 a bit of an outline and a guideline and you'll 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:06.320 know how to make certain decisions like you will literally 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:09.680 if something, an opportunity or something comes up, you will 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.200 use the tools in this course to then go yes 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:16.279 or no if that makes sense, which is so so important, 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.640 Like I said, if we're doing it from that very 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:22.279 intentional way. So, yeah, it should only take you thirty 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:25.159 minutes a day. I really wanted to make sure except 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:28.080 for day four, we've got a nice long meditation of 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:31.200 day for except for day for a tiers just informant. 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:35.000 Day four's my favorite though, So it is a really 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:39.360 really good meditation. Look, maybe up to an hour but 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:42.320 also amazing. Yeah, do you have lifetime access though, So 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:44.159 if you can't do it in the you know as 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:47.200 every single day from the first of Jan, don't stress 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.800 because you do have lifetime access. But by the eighth 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:52.960 of Jan, the price will go up. So if you 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:55.840 want to get a bloody bargain, get onto it now. 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:59.280 Treat yourself or you know, you can get someone else 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:03.040 to treat you. But yeah, we're really really excited about me. 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:04.960 Youre Tia I'm so excited to do it. 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:07.840 You literally can't wait. It's gonna be so powerful. I 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:11.440 literally haven't let it to you do it? No, right, 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.160 I'm waiting. I'm like, no, Well, don't get from the 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:17.400 first of Jack, We're going to chext each other. But yees. 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:19.320 So I'll put a link in the show notes for that. 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:24.400 But also before we get into the show, I just 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:28.799 want to say a massive thank you to every single 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:32.800 one of you who have supported the podcast this year. Honestly, 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:35.960 it means well to us, doesn't it tier it does. 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:40.080 It's just it's incredible that you keep listening to our voice, 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.760 and you know, I just want to say I really 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:47.280 appreciate the support, really appreciate you coming back and engaging 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:49.920 in the Instagram and coming in the Facebook group and 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:53.880 sending in your hotline queues and oh, you guys are 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:57.240 just yeah, like the best, You're the best girl gang. 0:05:57.360 --> 0:06:00.120 I appreciate you guys so much, and I'm so excited 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:03.960 to bring you even more amazing content in twenty twenty three. 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:06.240 We've got an exciting plan, don't we. A tr so 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.520 exciting A Tia has got some epic guests for you. 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.360 She's gonna pull out the big guns and really get 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:17.400 them on. Yes, it's literally what a her kprs. No, 0:06:17.560 --> 0:06:19.839 I'm so excited. So yeah, I just wanted to say 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:23.200 a big, big thank you, and I hope you have 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:32.400 the most amazing New Year's Eve see me. All right, 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:38.960 let's get into the first lesson twenty two Detach, observe 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:43.160 yourself and others, and don't react. That is the title. 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:47.240 It's a long one. I love how these titles are 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:52.160 not like snappy. No, I enjoy it, guys. So this 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:56.800 was a one kind of So this one is all 0:06:57.000 --> 0:07:00.719 about basically I'm sure I'm sure or you have heard 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:03.480 like the saying of like no one can make you 0:07:03.520 --> 0:07:06.080 feel a certain way, only you can make yourself feel 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.720 a certain way. And I found there, you know, was 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:13.000 a point of my year where I was kind of 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:20.080 letting my emotions really run the show. Yeah, and I 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:23.280 would let certain people they could say something small and 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:27.760 it would like really upset me. And I guess like 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:32.360 a big realization that I have is like you need 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:38.160 to take a step back and realize you're not your emotions. Yes, 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:42.120 we have emotions, and that's amazing to have emotions, and 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:46.679 you should feel those emotions, but you have a choice 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:51.120 on your reaction, and you know in that moment, I 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:55.760 just personally find if you react with emotion to that 0:07:55.920 --> 0:08:00.720 person or that thing, that it creates this like domino 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:08.160 effect of just like like useless kind of you don't 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.160 need to go down that road. Yeah, So if you 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:15.400 can kind of detach and be like and this did 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:18.520 happen from like like a conflict I was going through 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:22.280 and I had to kind of detach and be like, Okay, 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:25.840 this is interesting. I'm feeling this way, and I think 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:30.680 it's because of this trigger which is from my childhood 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:34.440 or from this or from that, and instead of just 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:37.920 reacting this way because I'm a very reactive person. I'm 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.800 a leo. I love fire, I love also I love 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:45.520 a good argument. I love that passion. To me, it's 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.880 a bit of passion, but it can sometimes, you know, 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.280 just not be where you want to be. So a 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:54.280 big thing that I learned this year was like taking 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:57.760 that step back observing this is interesting. I am not 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:01.600 my emotions. I have emotions, but like I don't have 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:04.320 to let it overtake me and I can be in 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:07.920 control of my emotions. And a thing that kind of 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:12.880 made me feel better. Is realizing that like we're aal 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:18.280 just like souls, having a human experience, so kind of 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:22.840 like I don't know, like sometimes things would feel like 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:25.880 the end of the world, yeah to me. But if 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:29.040 I could kind of be like this is interesting and 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:32.720 observe this moment and almost like see the situation from 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.280 a bird's eye view, not from your emotions, it's kind 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.520 of like, Okay, this is an interesting human experience. Can 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:42.280 I learn something from here? How can I move forward? 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.280 How can I not let this like engross me? Yeah? 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:47.120 And that was like I practiced that I did that 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:49.439 like really served me well this year. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:50.679 That's awesome. 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:55.679 Thank you, dear you're alaka. 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:56.319 All right. 0:09:56.440 --> 0:10:01.120 Next one, a tia. Your external world is a reflection 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.800 of your inner world. This one gets me every time. 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:07.360 It gets me so good. We need to say this 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.360 to each other everywhere, Yeah, because what's happening in here? 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:14.160 Because you probably need to shift a couple. So I 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:17.320 had this really big realization and it was actually quite 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:19.240 recently in the year, and I did a full post 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:21.160 on it, so you may have seen on Instagram, but 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:24.559 I kind of I think I even went on a 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:27.600 random episode about this ado Yeah, Okay, so you guys 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:29.920 have heard it, but it's just such a strong lesson 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:31.760 for me that I was like, I need to say 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:36.000 this again. So my whole thing was I was doing 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:38.960 all so like, you know, to get back to my 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.400 mojo or to get back to myself. You know, I 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:44.960 was going through my postpartum journey. I was changing all 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.600 these external things, and I was like trying all these 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:52.720 different things, changing these external things. And after that, like 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.360 I sat with myself and I'm like, I still literally 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:58.760 feel the fucking same, what is happening right now? And 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:01.080 then the light bulb moment went off, and it's like, 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:06.880 you know, your reality is a reflection of your internal world. 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.319 So if you don't like something in your reality, or 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.199 if things are not going your way, or if you're 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:16.000 not feeling aligned, you need to shift something internally. Yeah, 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:20.199 And this was such a huge realization, and I think 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:24.400 it's something really important that we can be doing more regularly, 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:29.480 like checking in with ourselves and being like, hang on 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.160 a second. If you know you're feeling really rushed and 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:36.080 you feel like you've got no time, like that's something 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:40.040 that comes up for me so repetitively, and so I've 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:43.680 realized like that's even something that it's like internally, I 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:47.640 need to see what's happening in my mind of feeling 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.760 rushed and feeling like I have no time, and making 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:55.439 sure I'm constantly doing the inner work to shift rather 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:59.079 than changing external stuff like getting a new job or 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:02.120 getting a new new friend or a new partner or 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.679 that sort of thing. It's like, if you don't fix 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:07.839 the inside, the outside is going to feel the same, 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:10.440 even if you get that new thing or change that 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:17.600 thing externally. My third lesson of twenty twenty two boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries. 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:21.200 I wrote it three times because I need someone to 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:28.360 continuously say this to me. So this again is such 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:33.960 a story in my twenty twenty two of accepting things 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:37.600 and then coming to regret them. Yeah, and not listening 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.040 to my intuition when I accepted them, And then I 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:43.320 would get really angry at myself because I didn't listen 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:44.320 to my intuition. 0:12:45.559 --> 0:12:50.240 Have you ever, I'll, as an example on a smaller scale, 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:55.280 say something felt intuitively right, like going on a weekend 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:57.680 away with a bunch of friends. Yeah, and you book 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:01.079 it two months in advance because where you're going or 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:04.120 whatever it is, and then you get to like a 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:04.720 week out. 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:07.400 And you're like, oh, I don't want to go. 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:12.720 What would you do? What would I think twenty twenty 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:16.439 two Georgie would have followed through? Yeah, but what is 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:19.240 what would twenty twenty three Georgie do. Well. 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:24.160 I think it depends on the circumstances of why you're 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:28.160 feeling that need of this doesn't intuitively feel right, Like 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:32.320 if it's like your cup is literally so depleted because 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:35.600 you know, energy wise, then it's like a straight okay, 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:37.480 I have to pull out. I have to you know, 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.680 cancel that trip. If it's like a thing of maybe 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.680 someone on the trip that you don't want to be 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:46.280 in the energy of, maybe it's talking to that person 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.680 and being very upfront. Like there's a lot of different 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:51.920 ways to look at it. But yeah, definitely old Georgia 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:53.000 would be like, all right, we'll go out of the 0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:57.880 trap your bag, But New Georgie is going to, you know, 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:02.920 look into that thing. But also I think it's about obviously, 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:04.600 if you're planning a trip, you do need to plan 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:09.160 that in advance, but like not planning things where you 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:14.440 think you might regret it in the first place, Yeah, 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.400 and being like, hey, can we just you know, pencil 0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:22.720 it in. Can we feel this out? Are you going 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:23.840 on a trip? No? 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:27.000 No, no, No, that's just like an example, a small 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:28.080 example I could think of. 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:31.400 Yeah. I think a big thing about boundaries is like 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:37.120 checking in with yourself consistently, and like, for example, before 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.040 I booked in that trip, I would look at my 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:41.720 calendar around that time because for me, it's always going 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:43.880 to be about the energy. Yeah, I'd never book a 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.000 trip with people I might have a problem with. Yeah, 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:49.320 so it would be what is actually happening on happening 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:52.720 during that month and does it look like I could physically, 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:55.600 you know, do that thing and have the capacity and 0:14:55.680 --> 0:15:00.880 being very not only intuitive but also logical of will 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:04.880 I have the physical energy? Yeah, that's like a huge thing. 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:09.000 And again that's about like fully checking in with yourself 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:14.080 and always thinking about that side of things rather than 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:19.320 just booking things willy nilly. Yeah, that's all right. So 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:26.080 next year is my year of no. I've you want something? No, no, 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.560 get ready for the year of no. I no, no, no. 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:34.280 That's a bit trannic, but basically next year and like, 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:36.160 I hope you guys hold me to this, but it's like, 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:41.200 unless it is a fuck yes, it's a no, because 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:45.280 anytime you say yes to something, you're saying no to 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:50.920 something else that may be more aligned. That's a bit scary. 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.440 And I do find that I am someone like I 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:56.880 don't want to let people down, and if it is 0:15:56.960 --> 0:16:00.160 like I get stuck in like the shiny things, if 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:04.520 it's like a shiny opportunity, I'm like, you know, like 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:06.800 I should want this thing, or this would be a 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:10.120 great bucket list. You know, when I'm talking about lists, 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:12.800 I'm more talking about achievements because I'm the sicker like that. 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:15.120 But it's like, this would be a really great thing 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:18.720 to like tick off the list in achiefence wise, And again, 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:23.440 my big thing is checking in with myself and being like, 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:26.480 do I actually want to do that thing? If I do, 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:31.320 what's the reasoning. Is it because I just want another 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.480 achievement under my belt? Is it because I'm trying to 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:37.560 please someone else? Is it you know, like what is 0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:40.120 the why? And actually getting down to that and then 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:44.400 also sitting in the intuition of do I actually want 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.280 to do this thing? Is it a hell yes? Or 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:50.400 is it a no? And getting really really strong with 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:52.520 that because yeah, this year I kind of just like 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:55.920 said yes to things that I didn't really think about. 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:58.760 I did not check in with myself before I said yes. 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.080 I just said yes because I'm so used to saying yes. 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:04.080 And then this year happened and I became a mother, 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:08.040 and I realized how well more I think. The reason 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:11.879 why it's so important now is a yes to something 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.720 might mean no to ivy and that's just something I'm 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:19.560 not willing to sacrifice. And I didn't realize that when 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:22.360 I was, you know, even pregnant. I just I did 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:25.360 not have the understanding. And I agreed to a lot 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.320 of things, and I booked a lot of things in 0:17:27.840 --> 0:17:31.119 and then you know, this new twenty twenty two me 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:33.800 had to like live out these you know, decisions that 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.679 I had previously made because I am some one of 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:42.040 my word and I don't break promises. But it was 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:46.040 such a good lesson to feel like, wow, I need 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:48.240 to be real I need to be stronger my boundaries 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:49.879 because I feel like over the years I have been 0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:53.440 getting stronger. But this year was like a huge moment 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:57.040 where I was like, yeah, this year was awake up call. 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.679 So that was a huge, huge lesson for me. 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:02.399 What's your next lesson? 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:07.000 Lesson? For of twenty twenty two, I gotta stop saying 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:10.960 that because we clearly know and again this is like 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.240 kind of I don't want it to sound counterintuitive to 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:18.320 the first lesson, lesson of like observing your feelings but 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:24.080 not judging my emotions and feeling into my emotions was 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:28.600 also a lesson I learned this year because I realized 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:33.840 an interesting thing about myself. And like in the past, 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:38.879 I have been called cold, and I've been cold that 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:40.840 like I'm a very you know, just I get on 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:44.760 with things and I get shit done and I attached. Yeah, 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:47.520 I can be detached and very into my mask illn energy. 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:48.119 Yeah. 0:18:48.200 --> 0:18:50.440 So I've like always kind of known that. I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool. 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:52.879 I honestly think it's like a super power because I 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:54.359 like just get on with my life. 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:55.320 Yeah. 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:58.600 But I think for the thirst year again motherhood, really 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:01.800 I started to notice my emotions and I thought it 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:04.840 was very interesting because there was a couple of key 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:09.159 things that happened in the year that I thought, I 0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:14.040 think I should feel a bit happier than I actually do. Yeah, 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:18.560 And I just thought this is interesting, Yeah, I think 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:21.560 I should actually feel a little bit happier. And I 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:25.679 felt I don't want to say numb, because it's like 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:29.080 it's not to that extent, but it is somewhat numb 0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:33.520 of this is nice. Yeah, well, I think I realized 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:36.840 because someone else had such an extreme emotion, and I 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:39.600 don't want to compare myself, but I did think it 0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:43.280 was interesting and I kind of then did a bit 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:46.760 of reflection and I was like, I think I am 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:53.600 someone who is very great at composure and very great. 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:57.159 I come from an English background. Both my parents are 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:01.040 from English. I was like, what, they don't show emotion, 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:07.200 but I'm very good at composure, and I'm very good 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:11.480 at kind of keeping this like neutral level. So it 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:20.439 very proper, very proper. I've gone from London stop no, 0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:24.320 very kind of in saying that that goes the other way, 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:29.080 where also the sad emotions or the angry emotions, and 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:32.399 you know those quote unquote negative emotions, I also don't 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:35.399 feel them very deeply. So I'm almost stuck in this 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:39.320 like neutral state, which isn't bad because then you don't 0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:42.879 get really really sad, yeah really really, you know, but 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:45.679 then also I'm not feeling those high high emotions and 0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:48.000 I'm not feeling the low low emotions I'm finding this 0:20:48.119 --> 0:20:51.080 like middle period, and so I kind of, you know, 0:20:51.200 --> 0:20:53.480 I was speaking to a professional about it, and they 0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:57.200 did say, this is like a coping mechanism that you 0:20:57.320 --> 0:20:59.520 kind of take on from when you're a child, where 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:03.680 you don't feel safe to show certain emotions and so 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.600 you kind of keep in that like neutral numb state. 0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:11.400 And I don't think, you know, I'm an extreme case 0:21:11.480 --> 0:21:13.520 or anything like that, but I did think it was 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:16.960 like interesting, and it was also the first time I 0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:19.720 wanted to explore that more. And I was actually having 0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:23.240 a chat with Ellie and Jamie because they really feel 0:21:23.240 --> 0:21:28.199 their emotions, like they can really cry at anything. Like 0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:32.880 Jamie literally cries sad anything in like the most beautiful way, 0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:35.000 like when she's really happy, like she could be really 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:37.439 happy for me and she would cry. Yeah, And like 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:41.359 I just never, in a millionaires whatever feel like doing that. 0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:42.080 Yeah. 0:21:42.119 --> 0:21:44.520 But then I was like, obviously, again I'm not trying 0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:46.720 to compare myself, but I was like, I do think 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:49.880 it's interesting, and so they were like, the next time 0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:53.720 you are feeling, you know, sad or happy, like instead 0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:57.560 of just like briefly feeling that, really try and feel 0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:00.840 in the emotion and see what happens. And I was like, Okay, 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:05.280 So there was this day and you know, there was 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:07.680 like there was a bit of drama, and again it 0:22:07.720 --> 0:22:10.639 was a situation where I had said yes to something 0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:14.240 that I from the start knew I didn't want to 0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:16.439 say yes to something. And then it meant, you know, 0:22:16.560 --> 0:22:19.280 that I didn't get time with Ivy, and I was 0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:22.480 feeling really upset with myself that I had made this decision. 0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:25.240 So I was going to get coffee and I sat 0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:28.280 in my car and I like really felt into the 0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:32.679 emotion and I cried and I like sat crying in 0:22:32.760 --> 0:22:35.440 my car, and then I really felt in it, and 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:39.240 I felt really sad and really upset, and I cried 0:22:40.080 --> 0:22:43.359 and then the like then the emotion left and it 0:22:43.440 --> 0:22:47.320 was done. And I kind of thought to myself, how 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:52.280 many times have I not fully felt an emotion and 0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:55.199 suppressed it and then it maybe came up in a 0:22:55.240 --> 0:22:58.280 trigger or anxiety or because. 0:22:57.960 --> 0:22:59.679 My it's like leaking energy. 0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:03.600 Yes, And I was like, oh, this is something I 0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:06.880 need to like step into more. Yeah. So a big 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:09.240 lesson that I learned this year was like, I actually 0:23:09.320 --> 0:23:12.240 need to feel into my emotions more because I'm just 0:23:12.320 --> 0:23:18.520 someone who doesn't. So that was that one I too, 0:23:19.000 --> 0:23:19.960 do you feel like that? 0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:25.840 I used to be very emotional and then really toxic events. 0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:30.680 Oh oh, and that was when I learned to control, 0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:35.399 because I would fry all the time. Oh, or like 0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:37.880 not all the time, but like once every two weeks 0:23:37.920 --> 0:23:39.760 there'd be something that would happen and I'd end up 0:23:39.840 --> 0:23:41.879