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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 2: Now your family time is awesome woman altogether, but sometimes

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Speaker 2: we have to make some sacrifices for the betterment of

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Speaker 2: the family.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, My mum

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Speaker 1: and Dad.

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Speaker 3: Good da'stpt to Justin Coulson, the author of six books

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Speaker 3: about raising happy families and the founder of Happy Families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot you. I'm here with my wife Kylie,

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Speaker 3: who is shaking her head in frustration.

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Speaker 4: What have I done? You haven't done anything.

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Speaker 2: This morning has been quite a morning.

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Speaker 3: In what way? Why has it been so rough?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm not going to mention any names. But one

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Speaker 2: of our children could not find a school uniform. She

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Speaker 2: has two formal dresses.

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Speaker 3: She complained to me about that at six forty five,

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Speaker 3: and she alternates.

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Speaker 2: So she wears a former uniform one day, sports uniform

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Speaker 2: the next day, which gives me enough time to watch

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Speaker 2: those two new uniforms before former uniform.

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Speaker 4: And sports uniform. Right, it's really really easy.

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Speaker 3: You've got you've got a spare.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, there's a second uniform. So she comes in very

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Speaker 2: very upset because she could not find a score uniform,

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Speaker 2: and she put it in the wash two days ago,

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Speaker 2: so it should be available for.

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Speaker 3: Because the washing fairy makes sure that the washing's done

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Speaker 3: that consistently.

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Speaker 4: That's right.

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Speaker 2: So I said to her, you have two uniforms, but

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Speaker 2: you've only worn one this week. It's a short week,

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Speaker 2: And I said, so, I'm not sure why you can't

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Speaker 2: find your other uniform. I've done all of the washing,

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Speaker 2: the mining is all up to date, which doesn't happen

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Speaker 2: all the time, but it is at the moment.

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Speaker 4: I'm on top of it.

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Speaker 3: So are you searching like the clothesline and the living

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Speaker 3: room for a spare uniform? That? Oh?

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Speaker 2: I walked to the ironing pile because I thought that

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Speaker 2: must be the only other place that it could be,

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Speaker 2: even though I know I'm up to date, And she said,

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Speaker 2: I've already checked there.

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Speaker 4: It's not there.

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Speaker 2: So the next thing she comes out, she's dressed in

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Speaker 2: a uniform, but it's all scrunched up.

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Speaker 4: I said, where did you get that uniform?

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Speaker 3: She put it out of the thirty wash.

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Speaker 2: She sure did, and then blamed me that she was

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Speaker 2: going to stink all day right because she had to

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Speaker 2: wear a dirty uniform. So I went down to the

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Speaker 2: girl's bedroom a few minutes later. And you know how

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Speaker 2: some people, and especially our kids, have selective sight.

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Speaker 3: Right like I have selective hearing.

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Speaker 2: Yes, well I didn't have to I literally I did

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Speaker 2: not have to move a single thing. Her wardrobe door

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Speaker 2: was open, and the third item hanging in her wardrobe

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Speaker 2: was a brand new, freshly ironed uniform.

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Speaker 3: The whole time.

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Speaker 2: This is the same child who can sniff out sugar

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Speaker 2: no matter where it is in the house. I could

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Speaker 2: have hidden it in the best possible place and she'll

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Speaker 2: find it, but she could not find her uniform that.

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Speaker 4: Was hanging up three hangers in. I'm a little bit frustrated. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's been a.

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Speaker 3: Hard morning, okay, And I've been in the office getting

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Speaker 3: stuff done because we've got so much on today in

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Speaker 3: the office. Hey, we've got some really cool stuff to

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Speaker 3: talk about Today's I'll do better tomorrow. But we've also

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Speaker 3: got a couple of winners. We forgot to do this

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Speaker 3: last week. This was my I think you this last week,

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Speaker 3: as you didn't even know that even though we were

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Speaker 3: doing it, I forgot to do this last week. But

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Speaker 3: we've started this thing on Facebook called Little Wins Wednesdays,

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Speaker 3: where it's basically we wanted you to tell us all

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Speaker 3: about your little ones and your little wins.

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Speaker 2: So I had a little win this morning because I

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Speaker 2: found the uniform hanging up in the wardrobe.

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Speaker 4: Is that how it goes?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 3: I don't think that was a win. I think this

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Speaker 3: morning was pretty disaster. We're looking for real, proper wins,

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Speaker 3: and the winner wins a Justinism pack, our twelve little

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Speaker 3: mini a five sized posters to help parents to stay

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Speaker 3: on track, make everything go great. We sell it for

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Speaker 3: thirty bucks. You get it for nothing just for sharing

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Speaker 3: your little wins Wednesdays. And then on of course Friday,

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Speaker 3: we announced our winners. So we've got two winners today.

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Speaker 2: So last week we had Michelle mcclennan Spence who said,

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Speaker 2: my daughter had a science test on returning to school.

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Speaker 2: She really struggles with learning and especially science. We sat

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Speaker 2: together to write up a learning strategy and how many

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Speaker 2: hours spent learning a section each day. Her iPad with

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Speaker 2: her games and TV only came on at twelve and

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Speaker 2: the morning was spent learning. There were many meltdowns and arguments,

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Speaker 2: but she studied. Yesterday, she wrote to the test and

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Speaker 2: last night as I came to say good night, she said,

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Speaker 2: thank you for helping me see the positives of learning

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Speaker 2: and encouraging me.

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Speaker 4: I love you.

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Speaker 2: That was a huge win for her to understand that

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Speaker 2: I wasn't trying to be mean or punish her, but

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Speaker 2: to help and encourage her.

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Speaker 4: I love that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, winning, well done, Michelle, thanks so much for sharing that.

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Speaker 3: And this week's.

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Speaker 4: Winner, D Kennedy.

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Speaker 2: She said, my son, he has asd Adhd and Odd

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Speaker 2: has a new teacher. She called me in this week

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Speaker 2: for a meeting and talked to NonStop about how wonderful

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Speaker 2: he is, how well he's progressing, how hard he tries,

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Speaker 2: and how he has friends friends. I've never had this experience.

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Speaker 2: What a win for him, for her and for me. Oh,

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Speaker 2: I want to cry.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. That's a nice one, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: It's so nice, especially when you have children that have difficulties,

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Speaker 2: to have somebody see them for who they really are.

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Speaker 4: That is.

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Speaker 3: That's awesome, little ones, little wins. Congratulations to Michelle and d.

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Speaker 3: We hope that you enjoy your Justinism's packs. We'll get

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Speaker 3: them off in the mail to you. In fact, because

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Speaker 3: we're running late and we were supposed to do this

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Speaker 3: last week. They've probably already arrived, but we shared those

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Speaker 3: winds and we would love for you to jump onto

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Speaker 3: Facebook on a Wednesday when we post for your little

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Speaker 3: Winds Wednesdays so that you can tell us how you're

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Speaker 3: having little wins with your little ones. Up next, I'll

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Speaker 3: do better tomorrow. What we've won, what we've lost, how

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Speaker 3: we've failed, how we've succeeded in our own parenting experiences.

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Speaker 1: This week, it's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 3: For a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because

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Speaker 3: a happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot au.

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Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. And we are

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Speaker 2: talking success and failure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: For those of you who are we talking success and failure,

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Speaker 2: let's talk reflections.

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Speaker 4: I like that much better.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's what I'll do better tomorrow is it's a

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Speaker 3: chance to reflect on the week that was and work

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Speaker 3: out how we can be better parents tomorrow. Who's first,

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Speaker 3: you or me?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 3: You can go first, Okay, So, oh this is a

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Speaker 3: really story for me to tell. I have to follow

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Speaker 3: up a tremendous failure with a stunning success, because I

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Speaker 3: blew it this week in a really big way. We've

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Speaker 3: been talking for I reckon a decade about getting a

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Speaker 3: new TV like the TV that we've got. I think

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Speaker 3: it's from about two thousand and six, two thousand and eight,

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Speaker 3: great big Samsung thing and.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't even new for us.

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Speaker 4: It was a hand me down.

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Speaker 3: Well, we got it secondhand in about twenty twelve, but

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Speaker 3: it's not a smart TV and the remote's been lost,

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Speaker 3: but it worked right. We've it worked, and for years

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Speaker 3: and years and years, I've walked into the various electronic

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Speaker 3: stores and said, how about if we get a new TV,

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Speaker 3: and then we look at the prices of the TVs,

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Speaker 3: we look at what the TV is, and we walk

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Speaker 3: out empty handed because I just can't bring myself to

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Speaker 3: spend the money on a new TV when I've got

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Speaker 3: one at home that works. So on Saturday I've had

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Speaker 3: to duck down to the local electronics store to pick

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Speaker 3: up a DVD player. We still have a DVD player,

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Speaker 3: We're that ancient and we use it enough. But our

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Speaker 3: DVD player had stopped working, so I've gone down there.

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Speaker 3: Saw that up. While there, I'm looking at the TVs

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Speaker 3: again and I make this decision. I'm like, okay, I'm interested.

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Speaker 3: And they had this sixty inch TV, sixty inches Smart TV.

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Speaker 3: It was some brand, no it It wasn't a no

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Speaker 3: name brand, but it wasn't one of the big brands.

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Speaker 3: Sixty inches for seven hundred and ninety five dollars. Smart

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Speaker 3: TV does everything fully capable the whole lot.

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Speaker 4: We've been looking at TV's that were like three times.

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Speaker 3: That price, and that's what I thought, Hang on, why

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Speaker 3: this is so cheap. Maybe it's just some but it

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Speaker 3: wasn't a dodgy no name brand or anythink it was.

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Speaker 3: It was a good TV. So I said to the guy,

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Speaker 3: what's the difference between this one and one of the

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Speaker 3: fancy brands, and he said, it's just the name. I'm like, really, though,

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Speaker 3: I mean we're talking three four times the price. He said,

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Speaker 3: it's just the name. I looked at it and there

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Speaker 3: was another one that was fifty eight inches right behind it,

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Speaker 3: only a two inch different, both the same price. I said,

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Speaker 3: any difference between these soo? He said, not really, they're

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Speaker 3: the same price. They're pretty much they come out of

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Speaker 3: a different factory, but quality is fine, does it all?

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, you know what, I'm going to buy it.

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Speaker 3: So I said to him, what's the best price you

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Speaker 3: can do on this seven hundred and ninety five dollars

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Speaker 3: sixty inch TV? And he pokes it into the computer

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Speaker 3: and goes five hundred and fifty five dollars, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: no way, So I said I'll take three. I didn't

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Speaker 3: really I did say I'll take three, but I was

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Speaker 3: only kidding. I bought it. I walked it, walked out

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Speaker 3: of the store with the DVD player. I had to

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Speaker 3: go and get the big car to get the TV home,

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Speaker 3: did all the running around, figured it all out, set

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Speaker 3: it all up, got the.

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Speaker 2: I sent you down to get the DVD fects, and

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Speaker 2: you came home with not only a new DVD player,

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Speaker 2: but a brand new TV.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and everyone was so excited. But the first thing

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Speaker 3: that I said to the kids once I had it

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Speaker 3: set up was don't touch the remote. Don't lose the remote.

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Speaker 3: The remote stays right here. You're not allowed to play

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Speaker 3: with the remote. Lo and behold Sunday morning, the TV

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Speaker 3: is not even sixteen hours old, and one of the

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Speaker 3: kids comes to me and says daddy.

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Speaker 4: No, it wasn't daddy.

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Speaker 2: She was boiling her eyes out before she even said

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Speaker 2: a word.

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Speaker 3: I've lost the remote, and I think you're going to

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Speaker 3: be really mad at me. I'm like, it's not even

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Speaker 3: a day old and we've lost the remote. So I

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Speaker 3: didn't respond like a parenting expert should. I responded like

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Speaker 3: an angry dad on a Sunday morning who's just been

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Speaker 3: given bad news response. I was like, right, all of

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Speaker 3: you go downstairs, find the damn remote.

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Speaker 4: What did I say to you, honey?

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Speaker 3: I think you said something like it'll show up.

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Speaker 4: I think I might have.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So throughout the day they couldn't find it. They

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Speaker 3: searched for fifteen or twenty minutes before they lost interest.

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Speaker 3: And I'm starting like, I'm just seething. How is it possible?

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Speaker 3: I must have said to you about fifteen times. How

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Speaker 3: could they have lost the remote? I was incredulous.

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Speaker 2: It literally came up in every conversation you and I had.

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Speaker 3: That day, and you were so calm, You're like, it'll

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Speaker 3: show up, It'll show up. We searched the entire house.

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Speaker 3: We searched outside, we looked in the garden, we looked

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Speaker 3: on the deck. We looked everywhere, have the dogs eaten it?

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Speaker 3: Couldn't find the remote anywhere. And then on Sunday afternoon,

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Speaker 3: our eldest daughter, who still lives at home, our eighteen

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Speaker 3: year old, says, I just hopped into my bed and

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Speaker 3: I forgot last night I took the remote out of

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Speaker 3: the TV room so that none of the kids would

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Speaker 3: watch TV because they had to go to bed. You

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Speaker 3: and I had been out that night, and I slept

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Speaker 3: with it in my bed and I just found it

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Speaker 3: underneath the sheets in my bed.

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Speaker 2: And I think somebody said it'll show up. I don't

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Speaker 2: know who said it, but somebody very wise said it

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Speaker 2: would show up.

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Speaker 3: I was cranky all day, Like, I was so cranky,

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Speaker 3: and literally every conversation with the kids, they'd say, so, Dad,

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Speaker 3: can we have some lunch? I'd say, have you found

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Speaker 3: the remote? Or yeah, maybe you'll find the remote in

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Speaker 3: your sandwich. Like I was snarky and I was snide,

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Speaker 3: and I was horrible. I was I was how do

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Speaker 3: you lose a remote? On day one? But the cutest

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Speaker 3: and most heartbreaking thing was that Emily, the seven year old,

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Speaker 3: the one who actually apparently thought she'd.

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Speaker 4: Lost her remarked dropped her in it.

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Speaker 3: Well, she walks into the room. She was the one

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Speaker 3: who told us, Actually, not Abby. She told us that

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Speaker 3: she'd found the remote, and she said, I must have

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Speaker 3: been carrying it and tripped over and dropped it into

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Speaker 3: Abby's bed, and Abby's like, yeah, dropped it into my

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Speaker 3: made bed under neath the sheets.

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Speaker 2: So not only did Abby sleep with it, she then

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Speaker 2: made the bed right, not knowing it was there.

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Speaker 4: What is the deal with these kids?

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Speaker 3: So my I'll do better tomorrow is that it's a

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Speaker 3: finite universe.

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Speaker 4: You can't sweat the small stuff.

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Speaker 3: Kids lose stuff. It didn't feel like small stuff. It

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Speaker 3: took me ten years to buy the damn television and

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Speaker 3: it took them less than a day to lose roote.

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Speaker 3: It didn't feel like a small thing. Gosh, it was

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Speaker 3: so frustrating. Anyway, on Monday morning, I made up for

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Speaker 3: it because I got there.

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Speaker 4: Are you going to tell my story now?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Okay. So that's why I'll do better tomorrow. Don't sweat

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Speaker 3: the small stuff, be patient with the kids, and if

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Speaker 3: they lose stuff, it will show up.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm here to make you look a hundred times better.

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Speaker 4: You're so good to me because sometimes.

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Speaker 2: In family life, you kind of just have to make

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Speaker 2: some decisions that you wish you didn't have to make,

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Speaker 2: but it's going to be better for everybody in the

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Speaker 2: long run. We've had a really really busy holiday period

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Speaker 2: and a lot of extra people in the house and

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Speaker 2: our house really needed a once over.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, house needs are three times over. Let's be honest.

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Speaker 2: It's and it's been driving you and I both crazy.

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Speaker 2: We're both very neat people, and we like things to

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Speaker 2: be a certain way, and we like everything to have it,

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Speaker 2: you know, be in its place and have a place,

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Speaker 2: and our house has not been that for four weeks

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Speaker 2: on end. And you know, we've hit the ground running

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Speaker 2: with back to school and it's just continued to kind

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Speaker 2: of morph into this.

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Speaker 3: Back to school feels like a long time ago.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, I decided that the only way we were

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Speaker 2: going to get through this was I just needed to

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Speaker 2: send everybody away. And the wonderful thing was that you

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Speaker 2: just got on board. And the first thing you did

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Speaker 2: on Monday morning was you talk because for a bike

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Speaker 2: ride through the city.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was so jealous.

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Speaker 2: Can I tell you how jealous I was of you

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Speaker 2: guys going to the city doing the bike pass on

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Speaker 2: the bike. We haven't done that as a family for

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Speaker 2: years because little miss Emily, who's now seven, couldn't ride

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Speaker 2: a bike. This is a first time you've been able

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Speaker 2: to do it with her in tow, and she did.

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Speaker 4: The whole thing.

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Speaker 3: So what I was going to do on Monday morning

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Speaker 3: was get up and go for a surf on my own.

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Speaker 3: And I was laying in bed after the alarm went off,

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Speaker 3: and I thought, Oh, it just feels a bit selfish.

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Speaker 3: It's a public holiday and I really should be with

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Speaker 3: my family. And then I thought, oh, instead of going

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Speaker 3: for a surf, I might jump on my bike and

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Speaker 3: I just do a short bike ride because I need

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Speaker 3: to do something fitness. And then I thought, oh, n

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Speaker 3: the kids really need me. And I didn't know that

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Speaker 3: you were intending to do what you did, and so

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Speaker 3: I just loaded up the car and you said that

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Speaker 3: you're going to stay home and clean. I was like

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Speaker 3: missing out all the fun. We had the best morning.

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Speaker 3: We stopped at New Farm Park. For anyone who knows Brisbane,

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Speaker 3: we stopped at New Farm Park, rode along the river

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Speaker 3: walk into the city, down past Eagle Street, through the

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Speaker 3: Botanic Gardens to South Bank and then we turned around

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Speaker 3: and rode all the way back, stopped at Newfarm Park.

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Speaker 3: The kids had Emily doesn't call it a chocolate thick shake.

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Speaker 3: She calls it a chocolate smoothie.

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Speaker 4: It's healthier if it's a smith.

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Speaker 3: So we had chocolate smoothies, played in the park, got

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Speaker 3: home at like eleven o'clock. It was just an awesome

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Speaker 3: morning and we got home to a mostly clean house.

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Speaker 3: It was phenomenal. I mean winning all the way. So

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Speaker 3: your I'll do better tomorrow is sometimes you've got to

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Speaker 3: kick the family out, get dad to step up and

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Speaker 3: get the house clean. Is that what you're saying.

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Speaker 2: I think sometimes we just have to prioritize and we

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Speaker 2: have to work out. And yes, family time is awesome

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Speaker 2: and all together, but sometimes we have to make some

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Speaker 2: sacrifices for the betterment of the family. And as a result,

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Speaker 2: we've gone through an entire week where the house has

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Speaker 2: been ordered, structured, clean, and it's just been a delight

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Speaker 2: and everyone has felt it well.

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Speaker 3: The take home message the universe is finite, and when

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Speaker 3: you lose stuff, it eventually shows up, and sometimes it doesn't,

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Speaker 3: and it's okay either way, and don't take it out

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Speaker 3: on the family when they make mistakes, because everyone does.

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Speaker 3: And like you said, sometimes it's okay to prioritize and

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Speaker 3: not do things as a family because stuff just has

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Speaker 3: to get done and everyone feels better when we can

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Speaker 3: be at peace with that.

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Speaker 2: But next time I'm coming for the bike ride, maybe

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Speaker 2: I'll leave you behind to clean.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're not going to get the same outcome in

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Speaker 3: either contexts. We really hope you enjoyed the podcast. I'll

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Speaker 3: do better tomorrow. We'll be back next Friday. Hey, on Monday,

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Speaker 3: we're going to do a really nice summarine review of

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Speaker 3: Mother's Day. Kylie has written something really special. Can't wait

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Speaker 3: to share that with you on Monday. And on Tuesday,

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Speaker 3: answering one of the curliest and trickiest, most sensitive questions

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Speaker 3: that we've ever had to the podcast from a mum

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Speaker 3: who has a daughter who is identifying as transgender. That's

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Speaker 3: all coming up on the Happy Families podcast next week

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Speaker 3: and a whole lot more. The podcast is produced by

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Speaker 3: Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

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Speaker 3: If you're loving the podcast, please leave a rating and

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Speaker 3: review on Apple Podcasts so that others can find out

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Speaker 3: about it and make their families happier. If you'd like

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Speaker 3: more info about making your family thrive, you can find

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Speaker 3: it at happy families dot com dot au