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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: I think there's a couple of issues with the second one,

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Speaker 3: Working class Man. First, the book lacks insight about Chisel,

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Speaker 3: and it lacks inside about Barnesy, and it absolutely lacks

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Speaker 3: insight about the songs.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 3: Well missus Happy Families. This is this has become your

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Speaker 3: most favorite of all of the podcasts that we do,

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Speaker 3: your most favorite one over the month, and it has

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Speaker 3: got nothing to do with parenting. What does that say?

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Speaker 3: What does that say about the Happy Family podcast? When

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Speaker 3: the one we.

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Speaker 2: Make it very clear it's not just my favorite one.

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Speaker 2: You are pretty excited about it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're turning it into a competition. You think

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Speaker 3: that it's about who read the most books?

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Speaker 1: No, why not?

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Speaker 3: This is doctor Justin Colson. I'm here with Kylie, my

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Speaker 3: wife and mum to our six kids. Once a month,

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Speaker 3: we have decided on the podcast we're just going to

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Speaker 3: share what we're reading with you. Sometimes it's a parenting book,

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Speaker 3: sometimes it's not. But this month, Kylie, how many books

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Speaker 3: have you read so that you can show off on

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Speaker 3: the podcast.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to show off and I'm not even

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Speaker 2: trying to compete with you. There is no way I

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Speaker 2: could possibly compete with you. But I'm really proud of myself.

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Speaker 2: I've read five books this month.

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Speaker 3: Five books in a month. Huge. That explains why I've

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Speaker 3: been doing the dishes so much.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you're hilarious.

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Speaker 3: You haven't been home to do the dishes that be

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Speaker 3: like that I have so make me sound like I'm

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Speaker 3: an absent father. Well, i've read four. Not that it's

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Speaker 3: a competition really, So for those of you who are

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Speaker 3: new to the podcast or who just haven't caught one

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Speaker 3: of our book club episodes, once a month we have

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Speaker 3: a chat about what we're reading. I'm an avid reader.

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Speaker 3: I read usually, and I actually keep a spreadsheet of

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Speaker 3: them so that I can remember what books I've read

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Speaker 3: and how I felt about them, and see whether or

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Speaker 3: not my opinions have changed, and what I'm using and

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Speaker 3: so on. I read a round about I don't know,

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Speaker 3: thirty forty sometimes fifty books a year. Kylie doesn't read

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Speaker 3: that many, but recently has decided to turn our book

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Speaker 3: reading into a competition because.

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Speaker 2: I'm just choosing to use my time.

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Speaker 3: Is that what I differently? Yeah, less time on the phone,

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Speaker 3: more time with your head in a book.

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Speaker 2: That's right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Great. So since you've read five books, are you

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Speaker 3: going to talk about all five of them?

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Speaker 1: Mari?

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Speaker 3: You're just gonna know? Okay, how many are you going

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Speaker 3: to talk about?

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Speaker 1: Four?

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Speaker 3: Right? Which money you're not going to talk about? I

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Speaker 3: read a church book? Okay, and you don't want to

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Speaker 3: talk about that one? No, all right, no problem. Well,

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Speaker 3: we've got four books each to talk about, which gives

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Speaker 3: us about one and a half minutes per book, and

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Speaker 3: two of my books are going to require a lot

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Speaker 3: more time than that. So why don't you go first?

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Speaker 3: What did you read? Tell us about how we can

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Speaker 3: be inspired by the cold? And I should also say,

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Speaker 3: even if we didn't like it, we're going to tell

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Speaker 3: you about it. We're going to tell you why we

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Speaker 3: didn't like it, Like this is a wartz in all

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Speaker 3: dangerous book review, Kylie, What have you read?

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Speaker 1: So?

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Speaker 2: I've read two novels, I've read an autobiography, and then

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Speaker 2: I've read I'm going to say it's an adults picture book.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how what genre you would even put

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Speaker 2: it into? Maybe self help?

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Speaker 3: Where do you want to start, I'm going to.

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Speaker 2: Leave my picture book till the end. The two novels

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Speaker 2: that I read I read Minding Frankie by May Binchi.

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Speaker 2: She's a big name in authorship, and it was actually

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Speaker 2: it was actually a pretty cool book. It was a

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Speaker 2: story about unconventional families and just the way life plays

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Speaker 2: out in those unconventional families, and our own personal experiences

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Speaker 2: can blind us from what is right in front of us.

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Speaker 3: Give me an example. I'm kind of a little bit

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Speaker 3: lost with that synopsis of the book. I don't really

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Speaker 3: get it.

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Speaker 2: It's a really unique situation. There's been a one night stand.

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Speaker 2: Way back, mom finds out she's pregnant, and she also

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Speaker 2: receives diagnosis that will mean that she actually will die

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Speaker 2: giving birth to the child, which she chooses to do,

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Speaker 2: and in the process notifies the dad, who has not

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Speaker 2: been a part of her life in any way, shape

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Speaker 2: or form up until that point, that he is actually

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Speaker 2: the father and that she wants him to take care

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Speaker 2: of the baby. Up until that point, he has been

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Speaker 2: just lost and had no direction in his life. So

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Speaker 2: the social worker comes on board, believing that he doesn't

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Speaker 2: have a hope in hades of making this work. He's

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Speaker 2: not a good influence on the child, and because of

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Speaker 2: her personal experiences growing up in those kinds of environments,

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Speaker 2: she has decided that it's not going to work, and

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Speaker 2: so she's really really hard on him. And because she's

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Speaker 2: really hard on him, she actually in some cases pushes

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Speaker 2: him down the very road that he's trying to avoid

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Speaker 2: because of her own prejudice, not because of what's in

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Speaker 2: front of her. And so I loved I loved how

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Speaker 2: it actually took her really what would be considered a

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Speaker 2: very unique situation, but the principles and the values that

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Speaker 2: it talks about, the actual challenges that we have, can

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Speaker 2: be any situation. We just get so blinded by our

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Speaker 2: own scenarios as opposed to actually looking at what's in

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Speaker 2: front of us and seeing, in this particular case, a

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Speaker 2: dad who is working his buttle to make this work.

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Speaker 3: What do you give it? Out of five?

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Speaker 2: I'd give it probably a three and a half.

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Speaker 3: Okay, worth reading? Then was worth.

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Speaker 2: Reading, May've Binchi Minding Frankie.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Maye Binchi Minding Frankie three point five stars? What's

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Speaker 3: the other novel that you read?

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Speaker 2: So my second novel is When Grace Went Away by

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Speaker 2: Meredith Appleyard. It's actually an Australian novel. It's set in

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Speaker 2: the hinterland in Adelaide and it's just again another story

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Speaker 2: about the challenges that family life goes through. Mum and

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Speaker 2: dad actually split up. The kids are old enough to

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Speaker 2: make their own assumptions about why things happened and take sides,

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Speaker 2: you know, from mum and dad. And it's about a

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Speaker 2: family kind of piecing themselves back together after years and

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Speaker 2: years of separation. Again, just a really a book that

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Speaker 2: kind of, I guess, addresses the challenges that families go

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Speaker 2: through when there has been significant hurt and not the

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Speaker 2: capacity to actually unpack that as it's happening.

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Speaker 3: Meredith happy Yard, When Grace Went Away? What did you

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Speaker 3: give it? Out of five?

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Speaker 2: I'd probably give it a four. I really enjoyed this one.

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Speaker 3: Okay, sounds great. What was the autobiography that you read?

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Speaker 2: I don't even know how it ended up on my

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Speaker 2: book pile. I think it might have been a throw

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Speaker 2: out that your mom passed on somewhere down the track.

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Speaker 2: But it's called Rex by Kathleen Lewis. If you actually

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Speaker 2: google Rex, sixty minutes autistic child. You'll actually be able

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Speaker 2: to view the interviews that took place with Rex a.

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Speaker 2: Rex was really really high up on the spectrum as

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Speaker 2: far as autism goes and specialists it pretty much put

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Speaker 2: him in the too hard basket. This was not going

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Speaker 2: to go anywhere. But very early on his mum was

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Speaker 2: just this amazing champion of her son. And the book

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Speaker 2: is really about a mother's love and how a mother's

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Speaker 2: love can transcend any label or you know, challenge that

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Speaker 2: is placed in your path, and she really just fought

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Speaker 2: for Rex, and in the process they actually worked out

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Speaker 2: that Rex was I can't remember the fancy name for it,

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Speaker 2: but basically, there's only a handful of these people in

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Speaker 2: the world.

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Speaker 3: It's like a Beethoven, like a savant, yes that's the word.

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Speaker 2: And he just was able to sit at a piano

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Speaker 2: and play stuff that he'd only heard once or in

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Speaker 2: the early days. It wasn't even that he'd heard music.

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Speaker 2: It was actually that he sat down and his playing

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Speaker 2: made sense. And so just reading that story was I

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Speaker 2: just I loved it love. I loved watching How a

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Speaker 2: Mother's Love Has No Bounds.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Rex, an autobiography, what do you give that out

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Speaker 3: of five, give it a four. Okay, sounds great after

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Speaker 3: the break, a couple of books from me, and then

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Speaker 3: Kylie's one that she's more excited about than any of

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Speaker 3: the others. You've asked politely, you've asked again, you've patiently waited,

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Speaker 3: you've even made a threat, but finally you lose it.

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Speaker 3: Listen to me, you shout. In the practical webinar the

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Speaker 3: Screaming Spiral, you'll learn the top reasons why your child

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Speaker 3: isn't listening, and you'll get pro tips and strategies to

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Speaker 3: get them to hear without yelling. Available on the Happy

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Speaker 3: Family's webshop.

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Speaker 2: Now it's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the

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Speaker 2: time poor parent who just wants answers now and justin

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Speaker 2: what have you been reading lately?

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Speaker 3: Well, if you haven't listened to this song, it'll give

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Speaker 3: you a clue. I walked into a second hand book

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Speaker 3: at the bookstore and picked up a couple of copies

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Speaker 3: of books by Jimmy Barnes. One of them was Working

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Speaker 3: Class Boy, the other one was Working Class Man. And

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Speaker 3: I've pretty much read the entire life story of the

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Speaker 3: guy who was the front man for one of Australia's

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Speaker 3: biggest rock bands ever, Cold Chisel and I mean you

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Speaker 3: hear this riff? Can you hear this song? And if

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Speaker 3: you're a child of the seventies and eighties like me,

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Speaker 3: it just takes you back. So let me talk about

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Speaker 3: those two books first of all, and I'll tell you

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Speaker 3: what I loved, and then I'll tell you what I

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Speaker 3: didn't love. First off, we'll start with Working Class Boy.

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Speaker 3: This is the book that shot Jimmy Barnes to start

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Speaker 3: him again for like the umpteenth time a few years

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Speaker 3: ago when it was released. I've heard so many people

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Speaker 3: rave about this book. Obviously, when I saw it on

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Speaker 3: the shelf for the second hand book store, I grabbed

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Speaker 3: it and I have to say, in a word, it

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Speaker 3: is harrowing. It is compelling, it is horrible. It's a

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Speaker 3: story about a boy who experienced what I can only

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Speaker 3: say is so much of the very worst that life

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Speaker 3: can throw out a child. And how he survived it,

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Speaker 3: I think is simply extraordinary. It's a book that doesn't

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Speaker 3: pull any punches at all. It's compelling, it's striking, it's frightening.

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Speaker 3: The world has changed since he was a boy for

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Speaker 3: the better, and I'm grateful for it. Because it is awful.

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Speaker 3: The content warning that I have to give strong language,

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Speaker 3: very very very strong language. The book is confronting, it's

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Speaker 3: challenging at a really emotional level, but it's a really

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Speaker 3: solid autobiography and it tells a story that's worth sharing.

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Speaker 3: I loved Working Class Boy. I'd give it four and

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Speaker 3: a half stars. Thought it was an amazing book. The sequel,

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Speaker 3: on the other hand, Working Class Man, it kind of

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Speaker 3: kicks off when Cold Chisel starts to make a name

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Speaker 3: for themselves. And if I could summarize Working Class Man,

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Speaker 3: I would say it's about five hundred pages long, and

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Speaker 3: I reckon you could summarize it in two pages by saying,

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Speaker 3: Jimmy had lots of drugs, he had lots of booze,

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Speaker 3: he had lots of sex, he made lots of money,

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Speaker 3: he went broken, he lost it all. And if you

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Speaker 3: just use the words harder, stronger, faster, more, harder, stronger, faster,

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Speaker 3: more when it comes to drug taking, or when it

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Speaker 3: comes to violence, when it comes to whatever, that's pretty

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Speaker 3: much it. I think there's a couple of issues with

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Speaker 3: the second one, Working class Man. First, the book lacks

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Speaker 3: insight about Chisel, and it lacks inside about Barnsey and

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Speaker 3: it absolutely lacks insight about the songs and the decisions

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Speaker 3: that were made in his life. I mean, I wanted

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Speaker 3: to hear about Kay Sam. I wanted to hear about

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Speaker 3: Bow River. I wanted to hear about Forever Now and

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Speaker 3: Cheap Wine and When the War Is Over, and I

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Speaker 3: really wanted to hear about Flame Trees Are the Blame

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Speaker 3: movie Drama. I wanted to hear more about the relationships

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Speaker 3: between the band members. I wanted to hear him talk

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Speaker 3: about his experience working with Tina Turner with the NRL

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Speaker 3: and singing simply the Best with Tina Turner more than

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Speaker 3: he did, or when he sang with John Farnham and

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Speaker 3: Johnny Diesel with when Something Is Wrong with My Baby.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to hear the story behind Working Class Man,

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Speaker 3: and instead the second book, Working Class Man was like

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Speaker 3: a two to two and a half star read full

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Speaker 3: of the same thing, repeated page after page after page.

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Speaker 3: It didn't do it for me at all. Didn't enjoy

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Speaker 3: it at all. I loved Working Class Boy. It was incredible,

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Speaker 3: It was so compelling, but can't say the same for

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Speaker 3: the other one.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting when you think about the things that he

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Speaker 2: obviously was involved in through that period. Chances are that

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Speaker 2: his capacity to be in the moment and actually remember

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Speaker 2: those experiences the way they could be told would have

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Speaker 2: impacted the story as opposed to his childhood, where he's

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Speaker 2: fully present.

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Speaker 3: That thought definitely occurred to me, and I would have

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Speaker 3: loved to have known more about It's just so much

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Speaker 3: as I read Working Class Man, even though it was

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Speaker 3: longer than Working Class Boy, I know that he was

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Speaker 3: revealing everything that he could. But all that he could

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Speaker 3: reveal was more and more and more, faster, stronger, harder, drugs, sex, booze,

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Speaker 3: and then more. That's really how it felt. And it

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Speaker 3: was just overwhelming, but didn't don't really go anywhere. It

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Speaker 3: didn't really give me insight into the man other than that,

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Speaker 3: like you said, there's nothing there except for sex and

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Speaker 3: drugs and booze and rock and roll. And therefore, I

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Speaker 3: think the second issue is the lack of insight and meaning.

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Speaker 3: Seems to stem from the lack of insight and meaning

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Speaker 3: in anything that he did because of the drugs. But

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Speaker 3: he was massively productive and a huge hit maker. But

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Speaker 3: the second book is not a hit the first one is.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't there three books.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the third one is still on my bedside table.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure if I'm going to pick it up

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Speaker 3: now because I was left wanting with the second one.

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Speaker 3: I'll probably get to it in the next month or so.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so what asked? Have you read?

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Speaker 3: Okay, another one really quickly. I've got to give this

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Speaker 3: one a really big plug. We've had Amantha Imba on

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Speaker 3: the podcast a couple of times talking about her book

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Speaker 3: time Wise and her podcast How I Work. This is

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Speaker 3: basically a book of one hundred ideas to be more

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Speaker 3: productive and to be more efficient, based on interviews that

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Speaker 3: she's done with literally the thought leaders of the world

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Speaker 3: in these areas. It's built on ideas from the podcast

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Speaker 3: How I Work, and I just love the book. Lots

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Speaker 3: of fun, really easy to read, highly breathtakingly practical, super simple.

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Speaker 3: Some of the ideas were kind of ridiculous, So like,

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Speaker 3: there's one hundred ideas that I'm not going to it's

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Speaker 3: just they're not all going to resonate. But I got

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Speaker 3: so much value from this book and I thought it

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Speaker 3: was wonderful. Amantha is somebody that I would consider to

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Speaker 3: be a friend, So I'm not going to put a

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Speaker 3: rating on it. I don't think that's fair to rape

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Speaker 3: my friends on the way they've written their books, and

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Speaker 3: I hope that she wouldn't put a number out there

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Speaker 3: for me either. But it's definitely a great book to

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Speaker 3: read if you're running a business or if you want

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Speaker 3: to be more productive or efficient. It's not really a

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Speaker 3: parenting book, but there's plenty in there that could help

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Speaker 3: you to be a better parent as well.

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Speaker 2: It's funny. I actually opened that package when it arrived,

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Speaker 2: and I noticed that she'd written a little note that said,

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Speaker 2: I know, I recognize that you're time poor. You might

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Speaker 2: want to turn to page I don't know, seventy two

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Speaker 2: or whatever. She'd worked out that there was something in

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Speaker 2: there for you.

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Speaker 3: Did it work? I can't remember which one that one was,

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Speaker 3: but the book was worth reading, and it's an easy read.

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Speaker 3: So time Wise by Amantha Imber an unknown quantity of stars,

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Speaker 3: but well worth reading because I have that relationship with her.

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Speaker 3: We're out of time for me to share any more.

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Speaker 3: But just lastly, the one that I've probably enjoyed the

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Speaker 3: most in the last month is a book called Raised

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Speaker 3: by Animals by a university professor called Jennifer Verdilin. She

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Speaker 3: wrote an entire book, fascinating take on the way that

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Speaker 3: animals raise their young, comparing it to the way humans

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Speaker 3: raise their young. Lots of science stuff, incredible breadth of

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Speaker 3: material covered. I couldn't help but think that she might

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Speaker 3: have been grabing content that emphasized her views on how

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Speaker 3: kids should be raised and then saying this how they

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Speaker 3: do it in the animal world, and so you should

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Speaker 3: do this. And it wasn't always consistent with the very

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Speaker 3: best parenting science, but it was an enormous undertaking and

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Speaker 3: such a fantastic, fantastic book. I'm going to give it

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Speaker 3: like before and a quarter for ye four and a

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Speaker 3: quarter I'm going to give it was a little bit wordy,

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Speaker 3: it could have been trimmed a bit. Great book. It's

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Speaker 3: one that I'm definitely going to be using as a resource.

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Speaker 3: Jennifer Verdilein Raised by Animals four point twenty five stars,

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Speaker 3: four point twenty five. What's your last one? Because we've

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Speaker 3: go to wrap this up and I know you want

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Speaker 3: to talk about it.

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Speaker 2: So late last year I attended a health retreat and

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Speaker 2: as part of the conversation, one of the women that

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Speaker 2: I was talking to said that The best book she'd

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Speaker 2: read in a long time was called The Boy, the Mole,

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Speaker 2: the Fox, and the Horse. It was a great book

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Speaker 2: on friendship. So one day I happened to be in

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Speaker 2: the store and this book jumped out at me, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm sure that's what that woman said I

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Speaker 2: should read. So I love covers. If cover speaks to me,

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Speaker 2: I'll pick a book up. I didn't even flick through

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Speaker 2: the pages. I just assumed that I was going to

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Speaker 2: be picking up this beautiful novel.

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Speaker 3: It's a big, thick book. It is like two hundred

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Speaker 3: pages or something not quite that.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't even have page numbers, so I can't even

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Speaker 2: tell you how many pages there are. Sure, So it's

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Speaker 2: been on my bookshelf for months, and.

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Speaker 3: So you're thinking, I don't have time to read another novel,

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Speaker 3: that's right.

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Speaker 2: And so I'd finished my book and I needed something

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Speaker 2: light to kind of get me through, and I picked

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Speaker 2: it up and I opened it up only to realize

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Speaker 2: that there's only about maybe seven or eight words on

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Speaker 2: each page. It's a picture book.

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Speaker 3: In fact, there's no words on many pages.

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Speaker 2: It has the most adorable illustrations, And can I tell you,

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Speaker 2: I just I you won't let me read it because

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Speaker 2: you told me we've run out of time. But there

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Speaker 2: was just a handful of phrases that jumped out at me,

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Speaker 2: And this has become a go to for gifts because

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Speaker 2: I just think every person should should remember these things.

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Speaker 3: That's a big cool If you're buying a book consistently

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Speaker 3: and giving it to lots of people, that suggests that

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Speaker 3: you really like this book.

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Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna read you a handful of phrases.

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Speaker 2: Isn't it odd? We can only see our outsides, but

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Speaker 2: nearly everything happens on the inside. I just love that insight.

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Speaker 2: And if we can stop as individuals and actually take

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Speaker 2: the time to understand what's happening inside, it will make

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Speaker 2: life so much better.

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Speaker 3: I'm leaning in.

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Speaker 2: We often wait for kindness, but being kind to yourself

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Speaker 2: can start now. So many times we think that we

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Speaker 2: have to wait for other people to be kind to

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Speaker 2: us to experience kindness, but we can actually do it

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Speaker 2: for ourselves. What is the bravest thing you've ever said?

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Speaker 2: Ask the boy? Help, said the horse. That's one thing

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Speaker 2: I think, especially as mums, we are so bad at doing.

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Speaker 2: We think that to ask for help means that we're weak.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not just mums. When we consider some

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Speaker 3: of the tragic events that we've heard about in the

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Speaker 3: news recently, there's just such an important lesson there, the

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Speaker 3: need to ask for help. We don't need to cop

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Speaker 3: what life gives us and shut up. We need to

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Speaker 3: cop what life gives us and reach out and speak up.

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Speaker 2: And it goes on in the book to just say

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Speaker 2: that when we ask for help, it's not that we're

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Speaker 2: giving up. It's that we don't want to give up.

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Speaker 2: We actually recognize that we can't do this alone and

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Speaker 2: we're not willing to give up. So I just love that.

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Speaker 2: It goes on to say, the greatest illusion set them

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Speaker 2: all is that life should be perfect. So often we

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Speaker 2: get so disillusioned by life in general, especially family life.

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Speaker 2: It's so messy, and we think we've worked so hard,

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Speaker 2: why isn't it better? But it's not supposed to be perfect.

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Speaker 2: It's actually supposed to be messy, and it's beautiful because

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Speaker 2: of that. And then he says, what's your best discovery?

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Speaker 2: Asked the mole, and the boy said that I am

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Speaker 2: enough as I am. The book closes with this, always

399
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Speaker 2: remember you matter, You're important. And you are loved and

400
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 2: you bring to this world things no one else can,

401
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 2: and I just love it was just it was completely unexpected.

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00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 2: It was not what I thought I was opening up

403
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Speaker 2: to read. But I am so grateful for this little book,

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00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 2: and like I said, has become a go to for gifts.

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Speaker 3: When I hear what you read on that last page,

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00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 3: my mind goes back to the recent events with Paul Green,

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Speaker 3: the former NL player and coach who died by suicide

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Speaker 3: a couple of weeks ago, and I think, ah, I

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Speaker 3: wish everybody could hear that message. That's just beautiful. It's really, really,

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00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 3: really gorgeous. I think you might need to pop that

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Speaker 3: onto my bedside table and I'll read that one next.

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Speaker 2: So the book is The Boy, the Mole, the Fox

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Speaker 2: and the Horse, and it's by Charlie Mackasey.

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Speaker 3: How many stars, oh five?

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Speaker 2: It sounds like probably a tend to be honest.

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Speaker 3: It's now if I love it. Well, we'll put all

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Speaker 3: of these books into the show notes for you. We

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Speaker 3: hope that this has been a fun podcast for you

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Speaker 3: to listen to. We love talking about the books we're reading.

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Speaker 3: We hope that you're enjoying listening to it. You can

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Speaker 3: get more information in the show notes. The Happy Families

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Speaker 3: podcast is produced by Justin Rowland from Bridge Media. Our

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Speaker 3: executive producer is Craig Bruce. For more information about making

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Speaker 3: your family happier, we would love for you to visit

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Speaker 3: us on our Facebook page Dr Justin Colson's Happy Families

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Speaker 3: or at happy families dot com dot A. You kids

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Speaker 3: are bab said