WEBVTT - The Fourth Trimester 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:07.840 Hello, and welcome to a special episode of Outspoken called 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:11.640 the Fourth Trimester. We have Kate joining us from maternity 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:14.400 leave to discuss what life has been like since becoming 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:16.439 a mum. There is a lot to catch up on. 0:00:16.480 --> 0:00:18.840 It's crazy to think it was around eleven weeks ago 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:21.160 where I sat with you, Sophie and we spoke about 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:24.360 my birth story. So that is available on Outspoken plus 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:26.800 if anyone's interested, But I thought it would be good 0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:28.920 to actually talk about what the last twelve weeks have 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:32.440 been like because you hear all these podcasts talking about 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:34.680 pregnancy and the lead up to it, but the fourth 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.320 trimester often gets overlooked, and I think that there are 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:40.160 so many parents currently at home who have just given 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:42.720 birth or they're in the trenches at the moment, and 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:44.960 they want to know that it gets better. I know 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:47.960 you are still very much in the trenches, but from 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:50.920 seeing your experience, I think that once you reach the 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:53.120 three month mark, you feel like you're almost in a 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.080 better routine or you're more used to this new life. Well, 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:58.120 I don't want to speak too soon, because, as you said, 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:00.279 it's only twelve weeks and a lot of people talk 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:02.880 about this four month's sleep progression that is coming up. 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:05.319 But I do feel like I'm in a good routine 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:08.080 at the moment, and I think for other parents, it's 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.640 nice to listen to a podcast where someone is going 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:12.399 through the same thing as them at the moment, because 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:14.800 I mean, I'm not a mother yet, but I know 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:19.600 that it can be very isolating. You found it somewhat isolating, Yeah, definitely, 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:22.240 because in our close friendship group, I'm the only one 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:24.840 that has a baby. You guys are all dinks at 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:28.319 the moment, so it is hard to relate. And I 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:30.480 think you only know what it's really like when you 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.040 become a mum, and I think our friendship group has 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.200 made an effort to try and include you. But at 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:37.280 the same time, it's hard for you because you've got 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.600 this very strict feeding schedule, so it's hard to make 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:43.360 you know, random catch ups that you usually could drop 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:46.360 everything for happen. Yeah, exactly. Now, we did put up 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:49.520 a question box on our Instagram account, and you have 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:51.840 been flooded with questions, so we've picked the best ones. 0:01:52.440 --> 0:01:54.800 Let's kick it off with how are you handling the 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:59.000 unsolicited advice? It's unrelenting as a parent. Yeah, I was 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:01.000 worried about this, and it's part of the reason why 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.520 I haven't been sharing too much on social media about 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:06.040 the last twelve weeks, because I think it's quite a 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.760 private time at the moment, trying to navigate motherhood and 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.440 you don't really need people on Instagram telling you that 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:13.720 you're doing things wrong. And I know for you and Reese, 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:18.000 you're currently navigating what you feel comfortable sharing online. And 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:20.600 for you, you decided to start up a close friends 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:23.600 list because you want to share all the cute photos 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:27.079 and videos of Jack, but you don't necessarily feel comfortable 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:29.280 putting that out there to the general public to then 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:34.200 analyze what you're doing or, as you say, provide unsolicited advice. Yeah, 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:36.520 it also from a privacy perspective because I'd like to 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.480 share Jack with my close friends and family, but again, 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:42.160 those pictures and videos, they don't need to be seen 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:44.800 by everyone, and to be honest, everyone's probably not that interested. 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:47.560 It is a safety thing too. I'm happy to provide 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:50.480 updates here and there about Jack, but yeah, it just 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:53.560 didn't sit right with me putting it up. And I 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:55.320 mean not that I have that many followers, but you 0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:57.360 know there's people that follow the page. I don't know, 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:00.560 so it's really made me reflect on what I will 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:03.000 do when I have a child, hopefully one day. You 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:04.920 guys have been pretty strict on it. I feel like 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:06.600 I might be a bit freer with it, but again, 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:08.760 I don't have a child right now. Yeah. Well, your 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:11.000 motherly instincts kick in because Sovie's always like, oh, I 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:13.040 got this really cute video of Jack, can I share? 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:15.520 And maybe in time I'll be a little bit more 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.720 lax about it, but at the moment, I'm like, well, 0:03:17.960 --> 0:03:20.960 can't we just enjoy him ourselves? Yeah? Well, because you 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:23.280 have been pretty careful about what you've put up, do 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:25.800 you think that you have received a lot of unsolicited 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:28.960 advice or have you been kind of okay, well, not 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.840 from people on social media, but you know, amongst friends 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.520 and family, you're always going to get some advice. I mean, 0:03:34.520 --> 0:03:36.760 my mum has been super helpful at the moment, and 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.680 so has all my other family. But for me, I'm 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:41.880 so happy to take on my mum's advice. She brought 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.440 up triplets, but she has been very careful of how 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:47.640 she gives advice. It can be tricky though, because we're 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:51.160 following this quite strict sleep routine at the moment, and 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:53.840 when people have opinions on sleep routines as well. Yeah, 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:56.120 with newborns exactly. So I'm probably going to get a 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:59.240 whole bunch of unsolicited advice after this podcast episode drops, 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:02.320 but also just explaining it to family members, like, oh, 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:04.360 this is how we're burping, and this is how we're 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:07.160 doing this and that, and it's just funny because it's 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:09.440 different to what they would have done. Well, burping has 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:11.960 changed so much because I know when we were born, 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.320 I'd see these photos of our parents just throwing us 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:18.200 over their shoulder with a lombit cloth and we'd be 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:21.840 always vomiting. Yeah, but with Jack because I think we'll 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:23.760 go into this further in the episode, but you are 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:26.960 doing the doctor Gollie sleep routine and it involves lying 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:28.839 him down and then you've got him up and down 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:32.679 like it's a full routine. Yeah, it is a full routine. 0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:34.640 I never knew that burping would take so long, but 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:36.680 it does seem to be working very well with this 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:39.240 sleep Yeah. I just want to point out before we 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:41.560 get too deep into this episode that these are just 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:44.400 the things that work for you. This won't necessarily work 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.200 for everyone, and everyone has their own way of bringing 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:49.280 up their child. Yes, just a disclaimer that we are 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:51.320 not experts in this field. But I'm just talking about 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:53.479 what I have been doing and what's been working for me. 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:55.760 So the next question is what has been the most 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:59.159 challenging thing about mum life so far? Now, for me, 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:02.880 I think it's it's been living life in four hour blocks. 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:05.599 So we were advised by our midwives to feed Jack 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.800 every four hours. Some people are every two, some people 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:10.840 are every three, but four hours has work for us. 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:15.279 Some people cluster feed, yes, exactly. So it's weird to 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:17.320 kind of look at your life in these four hour 0:05:17.480 --> 0:05:21.800 blocks and the lack of control that you have. So before, 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:24.520 I was the center of my universe. If I wanted 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:26.560 to stay up late, I could, if I wanted to, 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:29.400 you know, cook my dinner late. But I have to 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:32.919 really work within this tight time schedule. So that is 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:35.680 really tricky to get your head around. And I didn't 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:39.640 realize that when you start feeding, it doesn't matter how 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.559 long the feed takes, the next feed is due within 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.200 that block of time. So it just was really hard 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:47.520 to get my head around that. Getting out of the 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:49.400 house is very differ but at the moment, and it's 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:51.599 not so much because of Jack. Like I've said to 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:54.280 my mum, it's not him, it's the dogs. I've got 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:57.599 two Golden Retrievers and they make it very difficult. They're 0:05:57.720 --> 0:05:59.880 very attached to me at the moment. There's a bit 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:03.000 of separation anxiety going on. It's funny to say that 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:06.359 because we took Jack for his first dinner out with 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.840 the Goals on a Saturday night a couple of weeks ago, 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:11.279 and I had to come over to your house and 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:13.359 it was like a military operation because we had to 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.760 distract the dog. So you had pre made these huge 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.920 kongs that we quickly threw in the hallway. We then 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:23.440 escaped through a back door went into the garage. It 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.000 is really difficult with your dogs. Yeah. Well someone did 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.000 ask how are my Golden's going? Because they're having a 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:32.600 bit of trouble with their Golden Retriever. And it's funny 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.080 because Sonny is the one that we were worried about. 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:38.040 So she's a three year old that she now well 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.440 she turns three in a couple of weeks and she's 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:42.880 the one that just destroyed our couch. She eats everything, 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:45.640 and Shadow is a lot more docile. He loves to 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:47.440 bark those so he might hear him in the background. 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:49.960 But with what Shadow would be like the one that 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:52.680 loved Jack, but it's sunny. She was so excited. She 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.840 always just trying to lick his head. Shadow just couldn't 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.160 care less. He's in a bit of a humph about it. 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.440 But it's very sweet because Shadow will always come into 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:02.440 the nursery when we're feeding and just sit with us. 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:04.719 I wonder if it's because Shadow is older and he's 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:07.960 more used to his ways. Yeah, well he is turning 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:11.200 seven in December, so and he's used to you know, 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:13.280 he's had his sister come in and turn his life 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.200 upside down. So I think he's just like, oh, not 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:17.960 another thing. But they are very sweet with him. But 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:20.960 as I said, they literally go nuts and I try 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:23.560 and leave the house. We've already got toddlergates because of 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:26.160 them in the house, which makes it a bit easier. Well, 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:27.640 it kind of makes it harder because I've got to 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:30.960 get them behind the toddlergates. Anyway, it's a bit of 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:33.760 an ordeal. We had a couple of listeners asking about 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.240 baby Blues, so one listener said, please shine a light 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:39.040 on baby blues, it's not discussed nearly enough. Did you 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:42.120 get the baby blues around day three five? Hormones a 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:44.600 wild I feel very fortunate to say that I have 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.280 not yet experienced baby blues, but I do agree it 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:49.680 is really important to talk about, and I did hear 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.320 a lot of people talk about them on pregnancy podcast. 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:55.560 So I was really nervous because I'm someone that's quite 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.760 health anxious anyway, I know they're quite separate things. So 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:02.960 I've definitely had high and anxiety around Jack's safety. And 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.320 when I used to do night feeds, I would get 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:08.160 so nervous that he'd cough and choke, and you know, 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:10.560 it's horrible when you're the only one their So I've 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:14.680 definitely had increased anxiety, but I haven't had that depression 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:17.800 or baby blues fortunately yet. I know, in particular, our 0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.440 mum was very wary that you might be feeling low 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:22.800 on day three and five, and that was when you 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:25.000 were back at home because you did only spend I 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:29.680 think two days in hospital despite having a cesarean. But you, yeah, 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:32.160 you were very lucky and fortunate not to experience it. 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:34.120 I was waiting for it on day three and five 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:37.160 because that's when your milk comes in. But I wonder 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.160 if it's because I had a cesarean and I was 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:43.280 on very strong painkiller. It could be why Actually, yeah, 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:45.920 someone said, does it get better after the first six weeks. 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:49.439 I'm three weeks postpartum and struggling. The first three weeks 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:51.800 I think are the hardest because you're just getting used 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:53.840 to this being your new normal. I'm so sorry to 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:56.360 hear that you are struggling at the moment. From my 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:59.120 personal perspective, and of course all babies are different, but 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.160 I found that after the six week mark it did 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:04.880 get a lot easier. I mean, we've only been going 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:07.480 here for twelve weeks, so we'll see how that all goes. 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:10.120 But at that point I started to implement a bit 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.959 more of a routine, and that really helped me, just 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:15.400 from a mental perspective, to know, Okay, well, this is 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:17.600 what the next couple of hours looks like, and things 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.600 are going to pop up that are out of your control. 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:23.440 But just having that routine to stick with really helped. 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:25.800 I think it's good for parents to know that there 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:28.200 is some light at the end of the tunnel. Now, 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:33.200 what about expectation versus reality? I came into motherhood with 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:36.600 very low expectations, so I always knew that I wanted 0:09:36.600 --> 0:09:39.760 to have children, but the decision to actually have a 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:42.480 baby was a tough one for me because at the time, 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:45.280 I was thirty four and very selfish and said in 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:48.080 my ways and as you touched on, we're very social people. 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:50.280 We usually go out to dinner a couple of times 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.280 a week with friends, and all of that I knew 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:55.839 would have to stop. And it is hard to stop 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:59.240 those things that you enjoy, but it's definitely worth it. 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:01.960 I I know everyone talks about the love that you 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:03.840 feel for your baby, and it is hard to put 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.520 into words those feelings because again, you don't know what 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:10.960 it's like until you actually experience at firstthand and I 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:12.599 remember saying to my friends, I'm not going to be 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:15.520 one of these people that stick to some ridiculous routine, 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:18.679 but that literally is me, So it's your life. At 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:20.240 the moment, I was like, Oh, the baby's going to 0:10:20.280 --> 0:10:21.840 have to fit in with my life. I'll be able 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:23.280 to bring him out, and I have brought him out 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:25.319 to dinner once, but now I'm like, I need to 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:26.880 be a home I just want to make sure he 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:30.640 gets enough sleep, because when your sleep is threatened, you 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:32.959 will do anything to make sure that your baby sleep well. 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.760 But I think you've found different ways to catch up 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:38.640 with friends. Yeah, I think, because I mean one thing 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:40.600 that we've been doing a bit is will come over 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:42.400 to your house and we'll all take him for a 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:47.000 nice riverwalk. Or there's other occasions where we'll just bring 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:49.120 takeaway over to your house at night time and we'll 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.400 all have takeaway. Like yeah, I mean, you're probably saving 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.200 a bit of money by not going out. But I 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:55.839 think once Jack gets a bit older, you will be 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:57.760 able to have a night out with your friends. It's 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:00.559 you know, not all dooman group. And also is always 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:02.240 like I'm so happy to look after him, but it's 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.920 me like I feel guilty like that mum guilt sinks 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:08.040 in about leaving the house because we know which I 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:11.600 think You've got to stop feeling guilty because Reese's back 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:14.760 at work, you're looking after the Jack full time at home. 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:18.319 I think that sometimes for your own sanity, you might 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.000 need one night out. Yeah. Well, one really good thing 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.000 that we implemented from the start that we'll get into 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:26.040 a little bit later is combination feeding. So I am 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:29.480 doing breastfeeding and then also expressing milk and doing formula, 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.320 and that has been amazing because it does allow Reese 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:35.560 to feed Jack if I do want to go out 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.280 so and he takes the bottle really well. So we've 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:41.680 got pigeon bottles and they're incredible. Now. Another follower wrote 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:44.480 in saying, was it what you expected? What did you 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:47.440 wish you'd known? Congrats? Well, I kind of touched on 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:49.560 this a little bit earlier, but despite going to a 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.840 breastfeeding class, I had no idea how often babies fed. 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.160 Do you think that would be something they may mention. 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.839 We're also currently trying to get Jack to sleep independently, 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:02.520 is cought, So I didn't know how much time it 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:05.360 took to actually get your baby to go to sleep. 0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:07.920 Like I kind of just thought, oh, they probably just sleepy. 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:10.360 You know, you don't have to rock them, you don't 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:11.959 have to do all of these things, Like it can 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.520 take so long to get him to go to sleep, 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:18.280 and then he'll go to sleep, and then because babies 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.040 have forty minutes sleep cycles, and then in forty minutes 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:22.520 he'll be awake again and you've got to go in 0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:25.800 and resettle him. The next one is about how you 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:29.120 see yourself as a person and your body now, and 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:31.880 they said it's so hard to see the changes. It 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:35.720 is a controversial topic to touch on because there's a 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:41.640 lot of conversations around bounce back culture, and I think 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:45.360 that is really unhelpful for women. But to be honest, 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:48.080 it is hard when your body changes so much and 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.800 you're not used to seeing your body in a certain way. 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:54.720 I think that's just human. And I think pretending that 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.560 somehow we've cured this obsession with our bodies and that 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:02.240 you know, women don't want bounce back in inverted commas. 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.200 I don't think that's helpful either, because there is a 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.640 sense where you do want to look like what you 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:11.040 used to, but that's not always possible. So I think 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:14.840 it's just about being kind to yourself. And it helped 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:17.320 me because I had a cesarean, so I actually had 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.360 to recover for six weeks, which meant I couldn't do anything. 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:24.320 I'm still not doing anything, like I'll occasionally go for walks, 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:27.520 but it's impossible at the moment for me to get 0:13:27.559 --> 0:13:29.720 out of the house and go do a workout or 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:33.080 even go for a big walk, because again I'd have 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.280 to take two Golden Retrievers with me and a pram, 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:39.560 which is just impossible. So I'm trying not I'm trying 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:42.680 to be so I'm trying to be really kind to myself, 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:44.840 but there are voices in the back of my head 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:47.760 that's like, oh, some's coming up, like I'd like to 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:49.360 look like what I used to, and I have to 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:53.400 tell myself, you've had a baby. What I find really 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.760 hard is when you see a lot of influences absolutely 0:13:56.840 --> 0:13:59.880 thrashing themselves in the gym when they're pregnant. Because I'm 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.040 in Sarah's day, I think is thirty two weeks pregnant 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:07.760 at the moment, and her workout routine is very rigorous. 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.680 I know that she has a pregnancy guide, but to me, 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:14.240 it makes me feel uncomfortable to see someone so heavily 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:17.080 pregnant working out to that level. We also touched on 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.240 m Davies and how she has spoken about sticking to 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:24.480 a pretty strict workout routine whilst pregnant, and she recently 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:27.040 had her baby, and she's been sharing a lot of 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.880 sort of body checks, so she showed her tummy or 0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:33.680 herself getting into a pair of pants two weeks after 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:36.440 giving birth. And her stomach literally looked like what it 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:40.360 did before. Oh. That actually really triggered me, and Sarah's 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:43.040 Day's content has triggered me. I mean, I am to 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:45.000 blame when it comes to Sarah's Day because I don't 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:47.520 know why I did this to myself. When I was breastfeeding, 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:49.400 I was like, I wonder what she looked like postpartum, 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.440 And I went back and I started watching all the 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.840 videos of her when she had her first baby, Fox, 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:56.760 and I'm like, why am I doing this to myself? 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:59.680 Sometimes you just can't help the comparison, though, because you're 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:02.640 cure to see what other women are like at the 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:05.440 same stages as you. Yeah. So I was pretty surprised 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:08.840 after I gave birth because what I've seen on social media, 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.400 people's stomachs just go back in, and I was like, oh, 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:15.080 mine hasn't. Like it actually takes eight weeks or six 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.960 weeks for it to actually start to go down, like 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:21.320 your uterus to contract. And that really surprised me. And 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.400 I was a bit like, Oh, I thought, for some reason, 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.080 I'm just like I've always been, you know, a straight 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.800 sized person. I thought that I might just my stomach 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.840 might go down, but you know, that is why social 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:35.600 media can be so dangerous. I think that's why TikTok 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.640 is so good, because I'm obviously all over Mumtalk now 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.360 and there are a lot of women saying, hey, this 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:43.760 is what a body looks like after you've given birth. 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.000 I have to take my hat off to Jade Tunci 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.200 because she is really growing on me. I know that 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:51.840 we have spoken in detail about some of the controversy 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:54.440 that she's been previously caught up in, but I think 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:58.000 that she's really turned a new leaf because I really 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.440 love how real she's been about motherhood, because she isn't 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.040 trying to bounce back. She is trying to spend time 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:08.120 with her child. And she spoke on her podcast recently 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:11.560 saying that she has been triggered by other influencers sharing 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.360 these body checks, and she herself has thought, well, why 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.960 don't I look like that too, But she looks at 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.800 her stomach and thinks, well, it's pretty miraculous that I 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.320 bought a baby into this world. Yeah, you keep having 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:24.240 to remind yourself of that, because I'm like, Wow, twelve 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:27.880 weeks ago he was inside my stomach. It's absolutely crazy 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.520 and amazing. At the same time, I have really resonated 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.080 more of a jaddey twen. She's content as well. I 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:36.040 think motherhood has really opened her eyes and made her 0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:39.400 a lot more relatable. What about how you feel about 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.560 yourself as a person, though, because I know for us 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.600 before you got pregnant, a lot of our worries about 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:47.840 becoming a mum is that people only see you as 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:51.320 a mum, they don't see you as anything else. Yeah. 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:54.360 I've got to admit I do hate when people call 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:57.240 me mama or mum because I'm like, well, I'm not 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:01.720 your mom, like, and that's not what completely defines me. 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.959 It's weird because I don't really think of myself as 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:06.480 a parent. It's hard to get my head around the 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:09.119 fact that I actually have a child. Well, you're prepared 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:12.960 for Christmas. You've already bought Jack his own special stocking 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.400 and then you were showing me yours and it said 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:18.000 mom across it, and immediately I was like, is that 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:20.320 for our mom? Like it didn't give you that's for you? 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:23.679 So yeah. Well, so during the two am breastfeeds, it 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:25.880 popped into my head how important it was for Jack 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.840 to have a really nice Christmas stocking because we still 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.439 have ours from when we were little, and I'm like, 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:33.320 I need to make sure it's a really nice one. 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:36.280 So I've found this Etsy store that do personalized stockings 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:39.520 and they're so cute. And then I was like, oh, well, 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:42.320 if Jack has one recent, I should have one. And 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:44.680 I'm like to Mom, should I have recent Kate or 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.159 mum and dad? And Mom's like, You've got to have 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:48.159 mum and dad. So, yeah, it is really weird to 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.040 refer to yourself as mum. I'm sure once Jack can 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:53.879 actually talk it, will you know sit better with me. 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:57.000 What do you feel about returning to work because your 0:17:57.080 --> 0:18:01.040 maternity leave is technically up in four weeks? Yes, it 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:04.199 is just wild. I can't believe that this is the 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.960 system in place. Yeah, it is crazy. I mean I 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.879 suppose it depends on workplaces. I am exployed by Outspoken 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:14.080 Pecha Ltd. But when pick up out Spoken, I'm actually 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:16.359 excited to get back to work. I'm just stressed how 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:19.320 it's gonna work because I'm on this strict schedule. But 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.080 you and Amy, you're a bit more lax with your timings, 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.560 particularly Amy. We're not lax with our timings. We run 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:27.280 another business as well, which makes things difficult. Yeah, but 0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:29.760 Amy is not really a stickler for being on time. 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:32.399 Like I'll usually say I'll be here at twelve and 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:34.400 she'll get here at once. To be fair, I think 0:18:34.440 --> 0:18:37.359 that it's a tourba trait being yes and yes. Iways 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.800 exactly the same before. But now that I've got this 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:43.840 strict schedule to run to, it is stressful. So I'm 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.159 planning to get hopefully I mean again, it depends on 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:49.520