1 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to a special episode of Outspoken called 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: the Fourth Trimester. We have Kate joining us from maternity 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: leave to discuss what life has been like since becoming 4 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 1: a mum. There is a lot to catch up on. 5 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: It's crazy to think it was around eleven weeks ago 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: where I sat with you, Sophie and we spoke about 7 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: my birth story. So that is available on Outspoken plus 8 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: if anyone's interested, But I thought it would be good 9 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: to actually talk about what the last twelve weeks have 10 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: been like because you hear all these podcasts talking about 11 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: pregnancy and the lead up to it, but the fourth 12 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: trimester often gets overlooked, and I think that there are 13 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:40,160 Speaker 1: so many parents currently at home who have just given 14 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: birth or they're in the trenches at the moment, and 15 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: they want to know that it gets better. I know 16 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: you are still very much in the trenches, but from 17 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,920 Speaker 1: seeing your experience, I think that once you reach the 18 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: three month mark, you feel like you're almost in a 19 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: better routine or you're more used to this new life. Well, 20 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to speak too soon, because, as you said, 21 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,279 Speaker 1: it's only twelve weeks and a lot of people talk 22 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: about this four month's sleep progression that is coming up. 23 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,319 Speaker 1: But I do feel like I'm in a good routine 24 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: at the moment, and I think for other parents, it's 25 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 1: nice to listen to a podcast where someone is going 26 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: through the same thing as them at the moment, because 27 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not a mother yet, but I know 28 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: that it can be very isolating. You found it somewhat isolating, Yeah, definitely, 29 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: because in our close friendship group, I'm the only one 30 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: that has a baby. You guys are all dinks at 31 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: the moment, so it is hard to relate. And I 32 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: think you only know what it's really like when you 33 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 1: become a mum, and I think our friendship group has 34 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: made an effort to try and include you. But at 35 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 1: the same time, it's hard for you because you've got 36 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: this very strict feeding schedule, so it's hard to make 37 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: you know, random catch ups that you usually could drop 38 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: everything for happen. Yeah, exactly. Now, we did put up 39 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: a question box on our Instagram account, and you have 40 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: been flooded with questions, so we've picked the best ones. 41 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: Let's kick it off with how are you handling the 42 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: unsolicited advice? It's unrelenting as a parent. Yeah, I was 43 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: worried about this, and it's part of the reason why 44 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: I haven't been sharing too much on social media about 45 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: the last twelve weeks, because I think it's quite a 46 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: private time at the moment, trying to navigate motherhood and 47 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: you don't really need people on Instagram telling you that 48 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: you're doing things wrong. And I know for you and Reese, 49 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: you're currently navigating what you feel comfortable sharing online. And 50 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: for you, you decided to start up a close friends 51 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: list because you want to share all the cute photos 52 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:27,079 Speaker 1: and videos of Jack, but you don't necessarily feel comfortable 53 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: putting that out there to the general public to then 54 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: analyze what you're doing or, as you say, provide unsolicited advice. Yeah, 55 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: it also from a privacy perspective because I'd like to 56 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: share Jack with my close friends and family, but again, 57 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: those pictures and videos, they don't need to be seen 58 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 1: by everyone, and to be honest, everyone's probably not that interested. 59 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: It is a safety thing too. I'm happy to provide 60 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: updates here and there about Jack, but yeah, it just 61 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: didn't sit right with me putting it up. And I 62 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: mean not that I have that many followers, but you 63 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 1: know there's people that follow the page. I don't know, 64 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: so it's really made me reflect on what I will 65 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: do when I have a child, hopefully one day. You 66 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,920 Speaker 1: guys have been pretty strict on it. I feel like 67 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: I might be a bit freer with it, but again, 68 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: I don't have a child right now. Yeah. Well, your 69 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: motherly instincts kick in because Sovie's always like, oh, I 70 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: got this really cute video of Jack, can I share? 71 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: And maybe in time I'll be a little bit more 72 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: lax about it, but at the moment, I'm like, well, 73 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: can't we just enjoy him ourselves? Yeah? Well, because you 74 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: have been pretty careful about what you've put up, do 75 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 1: you think that you have received a lot of unsolicited 76 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 1: advice or have you been kind of okay, well, not 77 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: from people on social media, but you know, amongst friends 78 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: and family, you're always going to get some advice. I mean, 79 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 1: my mum has been super helpful at the moment, and 80 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: so has all my other family. But for me, I'm 81 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: so happy to take on my mum's advice. She brought 82 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: up triplets, but she has been very careful of how 83 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: she gives advice. It can be tricky though, because we're 84 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: following this quite strict sleep routine at the moment, and 85 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: when people have opinions on sleep routines as well. Yeah, 86 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: with newborns exactly. So I'm probably going to get a 87 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: whole bunch of unsolicited advice after this podcast episode drops, 88 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: but also just explaining it to family members, like, oh, 89 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: this is how we're burping, and this is how we're 90 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: doing this and that, and it's just funny because it's 91 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: different to what they would have done. Well, burping has 92 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: changed so much because I know when we were born, 93 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: I'd see these photos of our parents just throwing us 94 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: over their shoulder with a lombit cloth and we'd be 95 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,840 Speaker 1: always vomiting. Yeah, but with Jack because I think we'll 96 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 1: go into this further in the episode, but you are 97 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: doing the doctor Gollie sleep routine and it involves lying 98 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 1: him down and then you've got him up and down 99 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,679 Speaker 1: like it's a full routine. Yeah, it is a full routine. 100 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: I never knew that burping would take so long, but 101 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: it does seem to be working very well with this 102 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: sleep Yeah. I just want to point out before we 103 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: get too deep into this episode that these are just 104 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: the things that work for you. This won't necessarily work 105 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: for everyone, and everyone has their own way of bringing 106 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: up their child. Yes, just a disclaimer that we are 107 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: not experts in this field. But I'm just talking about 108 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 1: what I have been doing and what's been working for me. 109 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: So the next question is what has been the most 110 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,159 Speaker 1: challenging thing about mum life so far? Now, for me, 111 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: I think it's it's been living life in four hour blocks. 112 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 1: So we were advised by our midwives to feed Jack 113 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: every four hours. Some people are every two, some people 114 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,840 Speaker 1: are every three, but four hours has work for us. 115 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: Some people cluster feed, yes, exactly. So it's weird to 116 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: kind of look at your life in these four hour 117 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: blocks and the lack of control that you have. So before, 118 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: I was the center of my universe. If I wanted 119 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: to stay up late, I could, if I wanted to, 120 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: you know, cook my dinner late. But I have to 121 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 1: really work within this tight time schedule. So that is 122 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: really tricky to get your head around. And I didn't 123 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: realize that when you start feeding, it doesn't matter how 124 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,559 Speaker 1: long the feed takes, the next feed is due within 125 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: that block of time. So it just was really hard 126 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: to get my head around that. Getting out of the 127 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: house is very differ but at the moment, and it's 128 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 1: not so much because of Jack. Like I've said to 129 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,280 Speaker 1: my mum, it's not him, it's the dogs. I've got 130 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:57,599 Speaker 1: two Golden Retrievers and they make it very difficult. They're 131 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: very attached to me at the moment. There's a bit 132 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: of separation anxiety going on. It's funny to say that 133 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,359 Speaker 1: because we took Jack for his first dinner out with 134 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,840 Speaker 1: the Goals on a Saturday night a couple of weeks ago, 135 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: and I had to come over to your house and 136 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,359 Speaker 1: it was like a military operation because we had to 137 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: distract the dog. So you had pre made these huge 138 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: kongs that we quickly threw in the hallway. We then 139 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: escaped through a back door went into the garage. It 140 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: is really difficult with your dogs. Yeah. Well someone did 141 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: ask how are my Golden's going? Because they're having a 142 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 1: bit of trouble with their Golden Retriever. And it's funny 143 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: because Sonny is the one that we were worried about. 144 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,040 Speaker 1: So she's a three year old that she now well 145 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: she turns three in a couple of weeks and she's 146 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: the one that just destroyed our couch. She eats everything, 147 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: and Shadow is a lot more docile. He loves to 148 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: bark those so he might hear him in the background. 149 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: But with what Shadow would be like the one that 150 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: loved Jack, but it's sunny. She was so excited. She 151 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: always just trying to lick his head. Shadow just couldn't 152 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 1: care less. He's in a bit of a humph about it. 153 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: But it's very sweet because Shadow will always come into 154 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: the nursery when we're feeding and just sit with us. 155 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,719 Speaker 1: I wonder if it's because Shadow is older and he's 156 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: more used to his ways. Yeah, well he is turning 157 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: seven in December, so and he's used to you know, 158 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 1: he's had his sister come in and turn his life 159 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 1: upside down. So I think he's just like, oh, not 160 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: another thing. But they are very sweet with him. But 161 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 1: as I said, they literally go nuts and I try 162 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: and leave the house. We've already got toddlergates because of 163 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: them in the house, which makes it a bit easier. Well, 164 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: it kind of makes it harder because I've got to 165 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: get them behind the toddlergates. Anyway, it's a bit of 166 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: an ordeal. We had a couple of listeners asking about 167 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: baby Blues, so one listener said, please shine a light 168 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: on baby blues, it's not discussed nearly enough. Did you 169 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: get the baby blues around day three five? Hormones a 170 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: wild I feel very fortunate to say that I have 171 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: not yet experienced baby blues, but I do agree it 172 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 1: is really important to talk about, and I did hear 173 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: a lot of people talk about them on pregnancy podcast. 174 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: So I was really nervous because I'm someone that's quite 175 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: health anxious anyway, I know they're quite separate things. So 176 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: I've definitely had high and anxiety around Jack's safety. And 177 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: when I used to do night feeds, I would get 178 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: so nervous that he'd cough and choke, and you know, 179 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: it's horrible when you're the only one their So I've 180 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: definitely had increased anxiety, but I haven't had that depression 181 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: or baby blues fortunately yet. I know, in particular, our 182 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: mum was very wary that you might be feeling low 183 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: on day three and five, and that was when you 184 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 1: were back at home because you did only spend I 185 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: think two days in hospital despite having a cesarean. But you, yeah, 186 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: you were very lucky and fortunate not to experience it. 187 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: I was waiting for it on day three and five 188 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 1: because that's when your milk comes in. But I wonder 189 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: if it's because I had a cesarean and I was 190 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: on very strong painkiller. It could be why Actually, yeah, 191 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 1: someone said, does it get better after the first six weeks. 192 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 1: I'm three weeks postpartum and struggling. The first three weeks 193 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: I think are the hardest because you're just getting used 194 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:53,840 Speaker 1: to this being your new normal. I'm so sorry to 195 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: hear that you are struggling at the moment. From my 196 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: personal perspective, and of course all babies are different, but 197 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: I found that after the six week mark it did 198 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: get a lot easier. I mean, we've only been going 199 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: here for twelve weeks, so we'll see how that all goes. 200 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 1: But at that point I started to implement a bit 201 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,959 Speaker 1: more of a routine, and that really helped me, just 202 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: from a mental perspective, to know, Okay, well, this is 203 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: what the next couple of hours looks like, and things 204 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 1: are going to pop up that are out of your control. 205 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 1: But just having that routine to stick with really helped. 206 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: I think it's good for parents to know that there 207 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,200 Speaker 1: is some light at the end of the tunnel. Now, 208 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 1: what about expectation versus reality? I came into motherhood with 209 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: very low expectations, so I always knew that I wanted 210 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: to have children, but the decision to actually have a 211 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: baby was a tough one for me because at the time, 212 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: I was thirty four and very selfish and said in 213 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: my ways and as you touched on, we're very social people. 214 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: We usually go out to dinner a couple of times 215 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: a week with friends, and all of that I knew 216 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,839 Speaker 1: would have to stop. And it is hard to stop 217 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 1: those things that you enjoy, but it's definitely worth it. 218 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 1: I I know everyone talks about the love that you 219 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 1: feel for your baby, and it is hard to put 220 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 1: into words those feelings because again, you don't know what 221 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:10,960 Speaker 1: it's like until you actually experience at firstthand and I 222 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,599 Speaker 1: remember saying to my friends, I'm not going to be 223 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: one of these people that stick to some ridiculous routine, 224 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: but that literally is me, So it's your life. At 225 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: the moment, I was like, Oh, the baby's going to 226 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 1: have to fit in with my life. I'll be able 227 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,280 Speaker 1: to bring him out, and I have brought him out 228 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,319 Speaker 1: to dinner once, but now I'm like, I need to 229 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: be a home I just want to make sure he 230 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 1: gets enough sleep, because when your sleep is threatened, you 231 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 1: will do anything to make sure that your baby sleep well. 232 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: But I think you've found different ways to catch up 233 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: with friends. Yeah, I think, because I mean one thing 234 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: that we've been doing a bit is will come over 235 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: to your house and we'll all take him for a 236 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:47,000 Speaker 1: nice riverwalk. Or there's other occasions where we'll just bring 237 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: takeaway over to your house at night time and we'll 238 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: all have takeaway. Like yeah, I mean, you're probably saving 239 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: a bit of money by not going out. But I 240 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,839 Speaker 1: think once Jack gets a bit older, you will be 241 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: able to have a night out with your friends. It's 242 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 1: you know, not all dooman group. And also is always 243 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: like I'm so happy to look after him, but it's 244 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: me like I feel guilty like that mum guilt sinks 245 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: in about leaving the house because we know which I 246 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: think You've got to stop feeling guilty because Reese's back 247 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 1: at work, you're looking after the Jack full time at home. 248 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,319 Speaker 1: I think that sometimes for your own sanity, you might 249 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: need one night out. Yeah. Well, one really good thing 250 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: that we implemented from the start that we'll get into 251 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: a little bit later is combination feeding. So I am 252 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 1: doing breastfeeding and then also expressing milk and doing formula, 253 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: and that has been amazing because it does allow Reese 254 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: to feed Jack if I do want to go out 255 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,280 Speaker 1: so and he takes the bottle really well. So we've 256 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: got pigeon bottles and they're incredible. Now. Another follower wrote 257 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: in saying, was it what you expected? What did you 258 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 1: wish you'd known? Congrats? Well, I kind of touched on 259 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: this a little bit earlier, but despite going to a 260 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 1: breastfeeding class, I had no idea how often babies fed. 261 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: Do you think that would be something they may mention. 262 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 1: We're also currently trying to get Jack to sleep independently, 263 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: is cought, So I didn't know how much time it 264 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: took to actually get your baby to go to sleep. 265 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: Like I kind of just thought, oh, they probably just sleepy. 266 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 1: You know, you don't have to rock them, you don't 267 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,959 Speaker 1: have to do all of these things, Like it can 268 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: take so long to get him to go to sleep, 269 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: and then he'll go to sleep, and then because babies 270 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: have forty minutes sleep cycles, and then in forty minutes 271 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 1: he'll be awake again and you've got to go in 272 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: and resettle him. The next one is about how you 273 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: see yourself as a person and your body now, and 274 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 1: they said it's so hard to see the changes. It 275 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 1: is a controversial topic to touch on because there's a 276 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: lot of conversations around bounce back culture, and I think 277 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 1: that is really unhelpful for women. But to be honest, 278 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: it is hard when your body changes so much and 279 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: you're not used to seeing your body in a certain way. 280 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,720 Speaker 1: I think that's just human. And I think pretending that 281 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: somehow we've cured this obsession with our bodies and that 282 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: you know, women don't want bounce back in inverted commas. 283 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 1: I don't think that's helpful either, because there is a 284 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: sense where you do want to look like what you 285 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: used to, but that's not always possible. So I think 286 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,840 Speaker 1: it's just about being kind to yourself. And it helped 287 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: me because I had a cesarean, so I actually had 288 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: to recover for six weeks, which meant I couldn't do anything. 289 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 1: I'm still not doing anything, like I'll occasionally go for walks, 290 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: but it's impossible at the moment for me to get 291 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,720 Speaker 1: out of the house and go do a workout or 292 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:33,080 Speaker 1: even go for a big walk, because again I'd have 293 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: to take two Golden Retrievers with me and a pram, 294 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 1: which is just impossible. So I'm trying not I'm trying 295 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 1: to be so I'm trying to be really kind to myself, 296 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,840 Speaker 1: but there are voices in the back of my head 297 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: that's like, oh, some's coming up, like I'd like to 298 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: look like what I used to, and I have to 299 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: tell myself, you've had a baby. What I find really 300 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 1: hard is when you see a lot of influences absolutely 301 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: thrashing themselves in the gym when they're pregnant. Because I'm 302 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 1: in Sarah's day, I think is thirty two weeks pregnant 303 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 1: at the moment, and her workout routine is very rigorous. 304 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,680 Speaker 1: I know that she has a pregnancy guide, but to me, 305 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: it makes me feel uncomfortable to see someone so heavily 306 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,080 Speaker 1: pregnant working out to that level. We also touched on 307 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: m Davies and how she has spoken about sticking to 308 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: a pretty strict workout routine whilst pregnant, and she recently 309 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: had her baby, and she's been sharing a lot of 310 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: sort of body checks, so she showed her tummy or 311 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: herself getting into a pair of pants two weeks after 312 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 1: giving birth. And her stomach literally looked like what it 313 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 1: did before. Oh. That actually really triggered me, and Sarah's 314 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: Day's content has triggered me. I mean, I am to 315 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: blame when it comes to Sarah's Day because I don't 316 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 1: know why I did this to myself. When I was breastfeeding, 317 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 1: I was like, I wonder what she looked like postpartum, 318 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 1: And I went back and I started watching all the 319 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 1: videos of her when she had her first baby, Fox, 320 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: and I'm like, why am I doing this to myself? 321 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 1: Sometimes you just can't help the comparison, though, because you're 322 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 1: cure to see what other women are like at the 323 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: same stages as you. Yeah. So I was pretty surprised 324 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 1: after I gave birth because what I've seen on social media, 325 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,400 Speaker 1: people's stomachs just go back in, and I was like, oh, 326 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: mine hasn't. Like it actually takes eight weeks or six 327 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: weeks for it to actually start to go down, like 328 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 1: your uterus to contract. And that really surprised me. And 329 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: I was a bit like, Oh, I thought, for some reason, 330 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 1: I'm just like I've always been, you know, a straight 331 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: sized person. I thought that I might just my stomach 332 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 1: might go down, but you know, that is why social 333 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: media can be so dangerous. I think that's why TikTok 334 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: is so good, because I'm obviously all over Mumtalk now 335 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 1: and there are a lot of women saying, hey, this 336 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: is what a body looks like after you've given birth. 337 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: I have to take my hat off to Jade Tunci 338 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: because she is really growing on me. I know that 339 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: we have spoken in detail about some of the controversy 340 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: that she's been previously caught up in, but I think 341 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: that she's really turned a new leaf because I really 342 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: love how real she's been about motherhood, because she isn't 343 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: trying to bounce back. She is trying to spend time 344 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: with her child. And she spoke on her podcast recently 345 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: saying that she has been triggered by other influencers sharing 346 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: these body checks, and she herself has thought, well, why 347 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: don't I look like that too, But she looks at 348 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: her stomach and thinks, well, it's pretty miraculous that I 349 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 1: bought a baby into this world. Yeah, you keep having 350 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: to remind yourself of that, because I'm like, Wow, twelve 351 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: weeks ago he was inside my stomach. It's absolutely crazy 352 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: and amazing. At the same time, I have really resonated 353 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: more of a jaddey twen. She's content as well. I 354 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 1: think motherhood has really opened her eyes and made her 355 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 1: a lot more relatable. What about how you feel about 356 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,560 Speaker 1: yourself as a person, though, because I know for us 357 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: before you got pregnant, a lot of our worries about 358 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: becoming a mum is that people only see you as 359 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 1: a mum, they don't see you as anything else. Yeah. 360 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: I've got to admit I do hate when people call 361 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 1: me mama or mum because I'm like, well, I'm not 362 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 1: your mom, like, and that's not what completely defines me. 363 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,959 Speaker 1: It's weird because I don't really think of myself as 364 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 1: a parent. It's hard to get my head around the 365 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,119 Speaker 1: fact that I actually have a child. Well, you're prepared 366 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 1: for Christmas. You've already bought Jack his own special stocking 367 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,400 Speaker 1: and then you were showing me yours and it said 368 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 1: mom across it, and immediately I was like, is that 369 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 1: for our mom? Like it didn't give you that's for you? 370 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,679 Speaker 1: So yeah. Well, so during the two am breastfeeds, it 371 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 1: popped into my head how important it was for Jack 372 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 1: to have a really nice Christmas stocking because we still 373 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,439 Speaker 1: have ours from when we were little, and I'm like, 374 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 1: I need to make sure it's a really nice one. 375 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 1: So I've found this Etsy store that do personalized stockings 376 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: and they're so cute. And then I was like, oh, well, 377 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 1: if Jack has one recent, I should have one. And 378 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 1: I'm like to Mom, should I have recent Kate or 379 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,159 Speaker 1: mum and dad? And Mom's like, You've got to have 380 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,159 Speaker 1: mum and dad. So, yeah, it is really weird to 381 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 1: refer to yourself as mum. I'm sure once Jack can 382 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 1: actually talk it, will you know sit better with me. 383 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: What do you feel about returning to work because your 384 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 1: maternity leave is technically up in four weeks? Yes, it 385 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,199 Speaker 1: is just wild. I can't believe that this is the 386 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,960 Speaker 1: system in place. Yeah, it is crazy. I mean I 387 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: suppose it depends on workplaces. I am exployed by Outspoken 388 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 1: Pecha Ltd. But when pick up out Spoken, I'm actually 389 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 1: excited to get back to work. I'm just stressed how 390 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: it's gonna work because I'm on this strict schedule. But 391 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: you and Amy, you're a bit more lax with your timings, 392 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: particularly Amy. We're not lax with our timings. We run 393 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: another business as well, which makes things difficult. Yeah, but 394 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: Amy is not really a stickler for being on time. 395 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: Like I'll usually say I'll be here at twelve and 396 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,400 Speaker 1: she'll get here at once. To be fair, I think 397 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,359 Speaker 1: that it's a tourba trait being yes and yes. Iways 398 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: exactly the same before. But now that I've got this 399 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 1: strict schedule to run to, it is stressful. So I'm 400 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,159 Speaker 1: planning to get hopefully I mean again, it depends on 401 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: the day. I'm hoping that I can get work done 402 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: during Jack snaps, but I will be relying on babysitters 403 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 1: as well. And I do have to shout out to 404 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,159 Speaker 1: my mum. She has been absolutely incredible. I would be 405 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 1: lost without her. She over, you know, lots of mornings 406 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: and afternoons helping me, and it's just so nice to 407 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 1: have someone here to talk to because it can be 408 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: isolating now. One follower wrote, what are a few things 409 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: that have surprised you so far? One thing that really 410 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: surprised me when Jack was first born was how dry 411 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: his skin was. I know that sounds really random, but 412 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,120 Speaker 1: babies essentially shed this layer of skin, so we're trying 413 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 1: to moisturize him. But the midwife's light no that's very normal. 414 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: It's all fine. Oh yeah, forgot that he was a 415 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 1: bit scaly. Yeah, but his skin is super soft now, 416 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,959 Speaker 1: it is so soft. I get told off because I'm 417 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: always trying to kiss him on the cheeks. Yeah, I 418 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:37,960 Speaker 1: might stop my head. He gets nude lipstick all over him. 419 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: And then his hair is so soft too. I'm always 420 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: touching that. Are you still brushing it? I know I 421 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 1: haven't for a while. It's starting to fall out, you know, 422 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,639 Speaker 1: when they get that patch because they've been lying on 423 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,200 Speaker 1: their head for too long. The other thing that has 424 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 1: surprised me is, especially in the first couple of weeks 425 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 1: reason I've both had it where we'll be asleep and 426 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: we've woken up thinking that Jack is in the bed 427 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: with us and he's all in the cover, and I'll 428 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: actually reach around. There was one time where I thought 429 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:08,120 Speaker 1: Reese's head was Jack and I was like, oh my god, 430 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 1: and I was like touching you, and Raese's like, what 431 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 1: the hell is going on? Well, they do look very similar. 432 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: Jack is a mini me of reach they do. The 433 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 1: other thing is the lengths that you'll go to to 434 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 1: be quiet for the baby when he's sleeping. So it's 435 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 1: really gross. But we've got an on suite and also 436 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 1: like a main toilet, and we won't flush the toilet 437 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: when Jack is asleep, so it's actually it feels like 438 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,000 Speaker 1: it's turned into a long drop. It's disgusting. Oh yeah, 439 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 1: remind me never to use your on suite. That is gross. 440 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: Now there's also a question is it harder than you expected. 441 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 1: I went in with very low expectations and a lot 442 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: of people said to me, you'll be grateful if you 443 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 1: have a shower again kind of thing. And I think 444 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: it's because I've been open to accepting so much help 445 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,800 Speaker 1: from my mum that I am able to have a shower, 446 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 1: and I have been putting on makeup because those things 447 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 1: make me feel a lot more myself. Yeah, that's the 448 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 1: thing I really feel for people who don't have the 449 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 1: support of family or friends, because it would just be impossible. 450 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: Because the days where mum doesn't come over to help, 451 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 1: you'll ring me and be like, fuck, I haven't even shower, 452 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 1: I haven't got anything my makeup, But I haven't done anything. 453 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: I know. I think I'm very spoiled, and Mum will 454 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,439 Speaker 1: bring me over like a bread roll that I can 455 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,440 Speaker 1: put salad in, like the other day, I'm like, oh 456 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,439 Speaker 1: my god, I've been home alone and i haven't had 457 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: anything to eat. So I think I would be finding 458 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 1: it much more difficult if it wasn't for all the 459 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,560 Speaker 1: help that I've been given. Everyone needs a Linda Torper 460 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 1: in their life. That woman is absolutely incredible. I mean 461 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:36,360 Speaker 1: for her because she raised three at once. One's probably like, yeah, exactly. 462 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 1: Now listeners are keen to know what have been your 463 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: top three favorite slash most used products. I actually got 464 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,680 Speaker 1: a bit gretty. I wrote more than three down, but 465 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,639 Speaker 1: you've got I'm looking at your notes, you have a 466 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 1: fair list here. Yeah. So the first is those Bonds 467 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 1: double zip ones. Is they are incredible. Don't go out 468 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: and buy a heap of fancy baby clothes because you 469 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: don't need them. The Bonds ones are so cute as well, 470 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,119 Speaker 1: like they've got stripey ones, They've got spots, different patterns, 471 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: they're really cute. And don't buy them full price. They 472 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 1: always have forty percent off sale. So I wait for those. Well, 473 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 1: I know you were saying to me that it's really 474 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: important to get the zips. Yeah, so the double zips 475 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: in particular, because that means you don't have to let 476 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: zip the whole outfit down. You can just kind of 477 00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: zip halfway and change then appy and buttons. You can't 478 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: be dealing with them at two am. The other thing 479 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,280 Speaker 1: I would also recommend is a Love to Dream sleep suit, 480 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 1: so instead of swaddling your baby. I don't even know 481 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: how to swaddle, like The Midwife taught Reese how to 482 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 1: do it, but because I was bedbound in hospital because 483 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: of my cesarean, I never did it. I don't think 484 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,480 Speaker 1: anyone really swaddles anymore. Some people do, but these sleep 485 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: suits you just zip them up. They're great. They do 486 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,320 Speaker 1: grew out of them very quickly. Or they can be 487 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: expensive as well. Yeah, we don't have to get the 488 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,120 Speaker 1: Love to Dream. There are other brands. I think Big 489 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: w and Kmart have their own versions. Jack looks so 490 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 1: cute in them too. He looks like a little star 491 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: because he likes to hold his hands in the corner. Yeah, 492 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,680 Speaker 1: he actually reminds you of a gingerbread man when he's 493 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: wearing them. Another thing that I love is the Ubi 494 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 1: nappy bin. So I actually heard Jesse Stevens on her 495 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: podcast recommend this and I'd already chosen it, so I 496 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:16,120 Speaker 1: felt very validated in my selection and it has been 497 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: so good. So it is a little bit expensive. I 498 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: think it was like one hundred or one hundred and 499 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: fifty dollars, but it means that you don't have to 500 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,439 Speaker 1: constantly go out and put nappies in the big bin outside. 501 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,480 Speaker 1: It surprises me how small it is because we are 502 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 1: recording in your nursery. I'm looking at it for some reason, 503 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: I thought be double the size, and I suppose nappies 504 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:34,920 Speaker 1: are quite small. You do have to change it quite 505 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 1: a bit. Well even want the smell, Well that's the thing. 506 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: It actually keeps the smell in. I mean we don't 507 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 1: put pooey nappies in there. We do put them straight 508 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 1: in the bin. We just put the wet ones in there. 509 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,480 Speaker 1: And also the good thing about it is there's these 510 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 1: other bins I think, like the Tommy tippy bin where 511 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: you have to actually buy special bin bags for it. 512 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 1: These you just put normal bin bags in and it's 513 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,359 Speaker 1: very cheap. I know. A big one for you has 514 00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,480 Speaker 1: been the breast pump. Like when you left hospital, you're 515 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: like a meat. I need this. The first thing I 516 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 1: need to do when I leave hospitals go to baby 517 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: bunting and pick one out. Yeah. Actually mum did that 518 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: for me, which was kind of her. But so I 519 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 1: got the Medulla Freestyle hands free breast pump. It's not cheap. 520 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,320 Speaker 1: I paid five hundred bucks for it, but it is 521 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,479 Speaker 1: worth every dollar. So it's funny you say that because 522 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: my sister in law is pregnant, which is so exciting, 523 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: and she wanted a recommendation from you about a breast pump. 524 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 1: But my father in law, he is so thrifty. I 525 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: love him so much. He loves going to garage sales 526 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 1: and he saw a secondhand baby pump listed and he's like, 527 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,120 Speaker 1: do you want this? Like, I can get it for you. 528 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 1: My first reaction was like, oh, that's a bit gross. 529 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,399 Speaker 1: But as you've pointed out to me, you would change 530 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 1: all of the cups, like, it's only the mechanics of 531 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 1: the device that you would be using. Really, I think 532 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: you can now don't quote me with this, but I 533 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: did hear Victoria Devine on She's on the money talking 534 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 1: about it. You can actually, yeah, buy the different pump 535 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,119 Speaker 1: and like you know, different bits of the equipment. I 536 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,119 Speaker 1: suppose the expensive bit is the actual pump. B Well, 537 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: I mean that's the thing. I think on marketplace there's 538 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 1: so many secondhand baby things because realistically, you use some 539 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 1: of these items for only a couple of weeks, so 540 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 1: it's a great place that you can find something cost effective. Yeah, 541 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: and this one is so good because it's hands free 542 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,919 Speaker 1: and also you don't have to be connected to the 543 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: wall when you use. It's got a battery, so it's 544 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 1: really good. This is what has blown my mind though, 545 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,880 Speaker 1: how expensive some baby things are. Yeah. Well, the thing is, though, 546 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 1: you don't need the top breast pump. I just decided 547 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 1: that that was one of the things that I really 548 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 1: wanted to spend money on, whereas in my nursery I 549 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,160 Speaker 1: got a Target cop that was I think one hundred 550 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,199 Speaker 1: and something dollars and I've got a keya draws. So 551 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 1: it just depends where you want to spend the money. 552 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,719 Speaker 1: Another thing I would highly recommend, and I was gifted 553 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: this I was very fortunate to get it is the 554 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 1: Nanat baby monitor. It is so incredible. We did a 555 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 1: video about it. It's crazy. So Reese can be well, 556 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: he often does. He is like watches us while we're 557 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,200 Speaker 1: in the nursery when he's at work. Okay, I never 558 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: want to have a conversation with you in this nursery, 559 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: because I know that Race could tune in at any opportunity. 560 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: I mean, he's getting a free podcast here if he 561 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 1: cares to listen, Yeah, so he can. Actually, it'll be 562 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,120 Speaker 1: funny to see if he actually says anything. He might 563 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: be listening right now. He can actually from his office 564 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,119 Speaker 1: press the microphone button and talk into it. So the 565 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,639 Speaker 1: other day he freaked us out. He said something and 566 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 1: I was like, did he just say something. Another thing 567 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 1: I would recommend is a portable change matt. So I 568 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,159 Speaker 1: was tossing up whether I buy a changing table or 569 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: just put a change mat on top of my draws. 570 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: And I'm so happy I did that because Jack can 571 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 1: use these draws, you know, until he's older, Whereas if 572 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: it was a change table, it's not like he's going 573 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,919 Speaker 1: to get much use out of us. So we just 574 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 1: moved that Cama Changing Matt to the family room and 575 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 1: here it's really good. And my final recommendation is Pigeon bottles. 576 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 1: Now today's episode is brought to you by Pigeon. But 577 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 1: before Jack was born, I was doing research into what 578 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 1: bottle I should get. I had no idea. I went 579 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: on TikTok, and I also looked at a lot of 580 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,119 Speaker 1: blogs and pigeon kept coming up, and I thought it 581 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 1: was funny because our last name, Torbat in German actually 582 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: meets pigeon, so I was actually drawn to that originally. 583 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:07,639 Speaker 1: But they had such good reviews, and because Jack was 584 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 1: put on formula when he was two days old as 585 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: a top up, he took to the bottle instantly. It 586 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,399 Speaker 1: was so good because I heard of so many people 587 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 1: saying that their baby would reject all these different bottles 588 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 1: and had to buy so many. Moving on to the 589 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: next question, one listener has written in to say, do 590 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 1: you feel like having a newborn has impacted your relationship 591 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: with your husband? Having a baby has shown me how 592 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,680 Speaker 1: important it is to actually be with the right person, 593 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: because I think if you didn't have a strong relationship 594 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 1: then it would be really hard. So or a partner 595 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 1: who doesn't do anything, Yeah, exactly. So Rees and I 596 00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,480 Speaker 1: feel have been such an amazing team. So he had 597 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 1: the first three weeks off and I would have loved 598 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: him to have more time, but he was changing jobs. 599 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: He got a new job just when Jack was born, 600 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 1: so his workplaces were really great about it. But Originally 601 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 1: we had planned for him to take more time off, 602 00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,640 Speaker 1: so I was quite nervous about it, but he has 603 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: been aboutally incredible. So because I had a cesarean, I 604 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 1: really needed to rely on him to do heaps of 605 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 1: stuff for me because I really couldn't move that well. 606 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 1: I didn't change a nappy for the first couple of days. 607 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: He was doing it all and he listened to a 608 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,959 Speaker 1: lot of parenting podcasts before and doctor Gollie was on 609 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 1: one of the podcasts he listened to, and he spoke 610 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,480 Speaker 1: about how the non breastfeeding parent really should be doing 611 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:28,439 Speaker 1: everything but breastfeeding because as a person that's breastfeeding, it 612 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,320 Speaker 1: takes a lot of energy to actually produce milk and 613 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,439 Speaker 1: the whole process is very time consuming, so that person 614 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 1: really needs to get a lot of sleep. So we 615 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,880 Speaker 1: implemented that from the get go, and Reese took charge 616 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: of all the burping, all the nappy changes, all the settling, 617 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: and obviously now that he's back at work, I'm doing 618 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,640 Speaker 1: a lot of that during the day and it's really 619 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 1: nice because Reese will come home from work and do 620 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: Jack's last bottle for the night and also put him 621 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,400 Speaker 1: into bed, give him his bath and that's their little routine, 622 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 1: and in the mornings before work, he'll also do his 623 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: early MOREK feed and it just makes such a difference 624 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: for me, and also it means that he gets to 625 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: spend time with Jack as well. The thing that I 626 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: worry about when I think about having kids is feeling 627 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 1: resentful to my partner if he is the one that 628 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 1: goes back to work full time, which will probably most 629 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 1: likely be the case, because I mean, I run two businesses, 630 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,960 Speaker 1: but I have a level of flexibility with my job 631 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 1: that he does not. However, I hate that it's always 632 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 1: the default generally that it's the woman who has to 633 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 1: do the bulk of the child caring and it's just 634 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 1: assumed that the husband will go back to work. I 635 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: think it's really important to have a discussion one what 636 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 1: works financially best for your family, and two who wants 637 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 1: to be looking after the child all. I don't like 638 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,240 Speaker 1: how when you discuss it, it's kind of like, oh, 639 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: the negative that you have to stay home because I 640 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: felt sorry for es having to go back to work 641 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 1: and not getting to see Jack all day. Yeah, but 642 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: there's a lot of women who would feel resentful because 643 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,000 Speaker 1: they're you know, you're seeing your husband going back to work, 644 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: and he's able to stop off for lunch, he's able 645 00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: to speak to other humans, he's able to socialize and 646 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 1: get dressed up every day and feel like a member 647 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: of society, whilst you're at home, probably covered in vomit 648 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 1: in your pajamas in most cases. So I think that 649 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: that's where a level of resentment can be bred. Or 650 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,600 Speaker 1: I understand the level of resentment, but what I'm saying is, 651 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 1: I think it's how you look at motherhood too. And 652 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 1: it is a full time job, and it's a very 653 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 1: rewarding job, but it's also very difficult. So I think 654 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 1: what you're trying to say is sometimes the men and 655 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,719 Speaker 1: the dads get the best of both worlds because they 656 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 1: get to enjoy parenthood and also then get to have 657 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 1: that go to work and be an adult and talk 658 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 1: to adults exactly. I have heard a lot of new 659 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 1: parents also talk about how they miss their partner even 660 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 1: though they're there a lot. And I think that definitely 661 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 1: happens because at night, you know, Reese will take the 662 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 1: dogs for a walk while I'm feeding Jack, and then 663 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 1: we'll do a little bit of a tag team switch 664 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: over and then he'll get give him his final bottle 665 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 1: and put him to bedlah blah blah, and then I'll 666 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 1: be cooking dinner and then we'll finally have like two 667 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 1: hours together where we eat dinner, but then Jack will 668 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 1: wake up. So you feel like you don't really get 669 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 1: to spend a lot of time together either, and it's 670 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 1: not that quality time that perhaps you used to spend together. 671 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 1: But again, I haven't had a child, but I am 672 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: led to believe by your situation and what I hear 673 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,479 Speaker 1: other parents say is that there's something so special about 674 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 1: having a child that is both of you. Yeah, it 675 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 1: definitely is, and it just brings you a lot closer 676 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 1: together as well. The last question is was the sleep 677 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 1: training guide worth it? I have a six week old 678 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: baby at the moment now, as I have touched on, 679 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: we are following doctor Gollie's sleep guides and I would 680 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: highly recommend them. So for those who don't know, Doctor 681 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 1: Gollie is a pediatrician and he calls himself a baby expert. 682 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 1: So I came across him on a podcast and then 683 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: I noticed that he also is a pediatrician to a 684 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:59,200 Speaker 1: lot of influencers baby so Steph cles Smith uses him 685 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: and also Chantel Stanton. He's got one hundred and fifty 686 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,600 Speaker 1: thousand followers, so I was a little bit dubious. I 687 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,440 Speaker 1: was like, ah, has he just got a lot of 688 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,520 Speaker 1: hype around him because he's a doctor to all of 689 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 1: these celebrity babies. And it was actually my husband who 690 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: came across him on this podcast first. So Reese really 691 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: liked him, and he resonated a lot with him, so 692 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: I was happy. I'm like, cool, if you like this guy, 693 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,720 Speaker 1: let's check him out. And one of Reese's friends actually 694 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 1: bought doctor Golli's book. So the book is a guide 695 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,800 Speaker 1: to the first four weeks of parenting. It's not a 696 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: sleep guide or anything like that. It's just got a 697 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 1: lot of helpful tips. And a lot of people have 698 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 1: been asking me, what's a good present to buy for 699 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: a baby shower. I would buy your friend this book 700 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 1: because it was so helpful, particularly for someone like me 701 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 1: who knew nothing about babies. And I have heard advice 702 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,600 Speaker 1: that if your baby is sleeping well, that you shouldn't 703 00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 1: talk about it because it jinxes it, and I'm very 704 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,200 Speaker 1: worried about doing that, but I also think it's important 705 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 1: to talk about things when they are positive, because then 706 00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 1: you only get this one side of a story that 707 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 1: when you have a baby, you never sleep and things 708 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 1: change so quickly. And as I said, we are approaching 709 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: the four month sleep progression, so who knows what our 710 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,240 Speaker 1: sleep is going to be like. But for the last 711 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: four weeks, Jack has been sleeping around six or seven 712 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:15,760 Speaker 1: hours overnight, so we have managed to drop one of 713 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: his night fees and it's been absolutely life changing. You 714 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: do have to wait until your baby is at least 715 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,360 Speaker 1: five to six kilos before you do drop that night feed, 716 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: and we did talk to our doctor and our midwife 717 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 1: about it and they were really happy with how Jack's 718 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 1: weight was tracking. So it's been really good. But in 719 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 1: saying that, we are now working on his daytime naps 720 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 1: because once they start to consolidate sleep overnight, it does 721 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 1: sometimes affect their day naps. So at the moment, we're 722 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 1: trying this new technique it's called cuddle to cot, where 723 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,160 Speaker 1: you get the baby to sleep in their basinet or 724 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: cot by themselves. So normally we were spending all this 725 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 1: time rocking him and putting him to sleep and then 726 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 1: trying to transfer him across into his cop But now 727 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,600 Speaker 1: which trying to do this thing where he falls asleep 728 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,360 Speaker 1: in his cop because it helps him link his sleep 729 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: cycles better. So that is ongoing. That has been quite 730 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,680 Speaker 1: challenging the last couple of weeks. Well, that is where 731 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,360 Speaker 1: we are going to wrap things up. Thank you so 732 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: much to all of our listeners for sending in questions, 733 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 1: and Kate, thank you for returning from maternity leave for 734 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: this episode. Yes, I will be back, as you said 735 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,879 Speaker 1: in mid October, raring to go, but I may be 736 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,279 Speaker 1: a little bit tired trying to juggle everything well. This 737 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 1: episode was recorded on the traditional land of the Ghana 738 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 1: people of the Adelaide Planes. We'd pay respect to elders 739 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:33,800 Speaker 1: bills in the present