1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Jonesy and Amanda in the morning. So you alluded that 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 1: we're going to the blood zone. So I've got I've 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:09,639 Speaker 1: got well that's what I like to call it, because 4 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,559 Speaker 1: we've got the Kleenex here for you. And do you 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: want me to put on when don't? Don't put on? Don't? Oh, 6 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: I don't. Well, this just gets it out of your sister. No. Well, 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: if my sons were listening to this, they'll be horrified. 8 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: But I listened. I read a piece that Mia Friedman 9 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: wrote a couple of weeks ago, and it's she has 10 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: you know how I've spoken recently about when Liam turned 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: eighteen and how the rush for most Oh, can you 12 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 1: turn the music off? It's not going to help me 13 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: turn it off? Thanks you. I started the bloods and 14 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: they started talking about how it peel my own fingernails 15 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: back as I talk. Okay, breathe, and she just articulated 16 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: so brilliantly what it's like to be a mom of 17 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: a of a boy who grows up to be a man. 18 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: And I'll just read you some of it if I can, 19 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 1: if I can get through it, she said, being the 20 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: mother of a son is like someone breaking up with you. 21 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: Very slowly. She had recently seen a movie called Otherhood 22 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: and that's where those movies are from. And she said 23 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 1: the movie is supposed to be about boys grow up, 24 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: moving out of home, and it's supposed to be a comedy, 25 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: but she said it examines what it means to be 26 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 1: a mother of a son who's no longer a boy, 27 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: no longer your boy, but a man. Ha. And when 28 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: she spoke about it recently and a MoMA mia out loud, 29 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,959 Speaker 1: look at you you're getting Yeah, you've got two boys. 30 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: She said that there were audible gasps of recognition and 31 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: yelps of pain in the room. And she spoke about this, 32 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: and she said that if our boys will grow up 33 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: and grow away and break up with us, and if 34 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: they do, oh god, this is a hard If they do, 35 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: we've done our job correctly, and we have. That's what 36 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: you want your kids to be, to be, to grow 37 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: up and leave you, That's what our job is. But 38 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 1: it's so hard. And she said here that there are 39 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: many crazy things about being a parent, and one that 40 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: definitely wasn't in the brochure is the way you don't 41 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: actually parent one person or one child. Your parents very 42 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: differently have a newborn, a baby, a toddler, a preschool schooler, 43 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: a primary age kid, a preteen, an adolescent, a full 44 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: blown teen, a young adult, and then an adult. And 45 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: they all answer to the same name, and they all 46 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: call you mom, And you never notice. I can't even 47 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: read it on brace. You never notice the inflection point 48 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: where one morphs into the next. You never get to 49 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: now I've got a snot okay, this happens as well, 50 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: she says. You never get to properly say goodbye to 51 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: all the little people who grow up, because you don't 52 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: notice the growing and the changing, except when Facebook sends 53 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 1: you those bloody memory reminders that make me cry, she said, 54 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: because it's like showing me the face of someone I 55 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: can never see you again. And she says, she's crying 56 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: as she writes it, and she knows that it's indulgent, 57 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: and she knows it's a less insensitive because if you've 58 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: experienced the loss of a child, they would give anything 59 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: to feel this exquisite pain of missing a healthy child. 60 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,079 Speaker 1: And she says, well, I know they love us. Their 61 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: lives no longer spin around us, they don't no longer 62 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: have their mother as their main access. We are not 63 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 1: the sun around which they spin. It'd be very weird 64 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: if it were, she said, And I know that logically. 65 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: And she goes on to say how great it is 66 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 1: to have tall people in the house. It can get 67 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: down things from talk cupboards, and she says, it's an 68 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: ongoing wonder to me that I grew one of my 69 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: best friends in the world, one of the best men 70 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: I know in my own body. And I just thought 71 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: that just sums up exactly how it is to have 72 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: a job. I'm thinking a lot about this. How you 73 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: bet you you know how to physically love a little baby, 74 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: but when they're taller than you and their giant units, 75 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: how you can express your love for them as you 76 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: watch them go? And it makes me miss my own 77 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: mum because she she graciously let me leave home and 78 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: I never said thank you, And she's not here anymore. 79 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: So I thought, just me and nailed that absolutely. And 80 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: I'm sorry I've bloved her to say, isn't this a 81 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: great piece of writing? Are you all this smoke? It's 82 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: the smoke on the sardines, all right, Let's all take 83 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: a deep breath, all right. And if I've made you 84 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: cry this morning, I'm sorry, But it's you know, Okay, 85 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 1: take a deep breath and let's move on. Joins the 86 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 1: and Amanda in the morning at one point seven, Tell 87 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 1: You