1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just wants answers Now. 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,039 Speaker 1: All this week on the Happy Families Podcast, we are 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: giving you a slice of advice around heading back to school, 5 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: because heading back to school can be a time of upheaval. 6 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: It can be a time of what's the word that 7 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,599 Speaker 1: I'm looking for, Kylie. It could just be hard chaos. 8 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: And the more kids you've got, the harder it is. 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: And once they start saying, oh, don't want to go 10 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: to school or for my lunch, or any of those 11 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: kinds of things, it gets even trickier. Yesterday we gave 12 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: you slices of advice, six of them. It's only supposed 13 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: to be one, but we got carried away six slices 14 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: of advice on tackling the school lunch issue. I think 15 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: that there was some really good advice there. If you 16 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: missed it, please go back and listen. Today a slice 17 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: of advice on morning routines, because let's face it, mornings 18 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: are typically not magic in most homes around the country 19 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: when it's time to get things ready for school. Supposed 20 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: to be one slice of advice. We talked about this earlier. 21 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: I came up with a couple. You came up with 22 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: a couple. We've drilled it right down to a total 23 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: of four slices of advice. 24 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,919 Speaker 2: I'm two sandwiches, that's all. It's just too sandwich. 25 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: I mean, that's just a regular day for most people, right, 26 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 1: That's right, two things, unless you've got little kids. So 27 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 1: today we're all about helping you to make your energy 28 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: in your morning positive, get productivity and efficiency nice and high, 29 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,679 Speaker 1: and have everyone working for a smooth, on time departure. 30 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: Because there's nothing worse than leaving the house three four 31 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: minutes late. You know you're going to get the traffic, 32 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: you know you're going to get the lights. The kids 33 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: will be late to school, you'll be late to work. 34 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: Everyone's in an upheaval. And as you're driving, as you're 35 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,320 Speaker 1: driving into the school, you kind of give me the 36 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: kids this lecture about how they need to do better tomorrow, 37 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:39,680 Speaker 1: but you're trying to do it with the smile on 38 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: the face because the principal's out the front greeting all 39 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: the kids as they get out of the car, and 40 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,759 Speaker 1: you're like, by kids, I love you, and the kids 41 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: like you haven't felt love for the last half hour. 42 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: So slice of advice number one. We've talked about this 43 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: so many times over the years, Kylie, but I think 44 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: that it still has to be my go to for 45 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: just basic practical stuff. Do as much prep as you 46 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: can the night before, the more he begins the night 47 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: before hard. 48 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,559 Speaker 2: One wisdom here. Yeah. We have spent plenty of times 49 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 2: where I've had to do multiple trips to school because 50 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 2: somebody's forgot their violin, or they've left the school hat behind, 51 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 2: or the lunch box sitting on the bench. 52 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: This matters because we live what twenty minutes from the school, 53 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: and the other day when I took one of our 54 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: kids to school, the only one who's now going to school, 55 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: as I took her to school, it took us forty minutes. 56 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: Traffic was bad because everyone was getting back to school 57 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: for the first time. Forty minutes plus the twenty minutes home. 58 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 1: It's an hour out of your day. And if you're 59 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,240 Speaker 1: going to do two trips like that anyway, but then 60 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: you've got to do a third one because somebody forgot 61 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: their lunchbox, or they forgot their sports shoes, they forgot 62 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: their violin. All of a sudden, it just it blows 63 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: the day apart. So morning begins the night before. Pack 64 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: the sports uniform. Make sure you know where their school 65 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: shoes are, their school socks, their school bag, their lunch box, 66 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 1: The uniforms are ready if it's winter time, which obviously 67 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 1: we don't need to worry about it now, but in 68 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: a couple of months time, when it gets a little 69 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 1: bit cooler, you want to make sure that you know 70 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: where their school jumper is and that you're not going 71 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: to have to buy them a third one for the years. 72 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 2: And don't ever believe them when they say it's in 73 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 2: their school bag. 74 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: Go and check, Go and check. Such important advice. That's 75 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: our first slice of advice. Morning begins the night before 76 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: significantly reduces morning stress. 77 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 2: I have one word for you for number two, yeap margin. 78 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: I was going to say, I bet I can guess 79 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: it because I know where you go with This is 80 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: your favorite word when it comes to mornings. Explain please, margin. 81 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 2: Margin works beautifully with our first slice of advice. If 82 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 2: we've done all the preparation the night before, it gives 83 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 2: us the breathing space to have a much calmer morning. 84 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 2: In theory, depending on how many children you have, the 85 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 2: morning's still going to be busy. But if you've done 86 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: all of the preparation the night before school, lunches are 87 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 2: almost packed and ready to go, choices and decisions around 88 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 2: all of that have been made previously, kids' school bag 89 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 2: and their school uniform is all in place, then all 90 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 2: we're really doing is helping our children have breakfast, getting 91 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 2: them dressed, and getting out the door. 92 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: So that that's a really nice tie with where I 93 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: want to go with my next point. Okay, when there's margin, 94 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: I I'm just thinking about it. If I'm reading a 95 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: book and the words go from one edge of the 96 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: page to the next every now and again. In a 97 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:17,280 Speaker 1: bid to save paper, historically, I have extended the margins 98 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: on my printer so that I'm printing from edge to edge. 99 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 2: I do that when I only want to fit everything 100 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 2: on one page. 101 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, But then you sit there and read 102 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: it and there's no margin, and it feels horrible because 103 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: there's no white space. The white space allows you to 104 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: I guess, bring me, gives your brain a brain, Yeah, exactly, 105 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,119 Speaker 1: and that's what we need in our mornings. Margin allows 106 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: you to have space for unexpected hiccups, and it leads, 107 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: Like I said to my third slice, my second slice 108 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 1: of advice, our third slice advice in total, and that 109 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: is that margin means that you can focus more on 110 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: connection and less on correction and direction. You can deal 111 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: with engaging well with the kids, relationship building, and dealing 112 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: with any unexpected challenges like I don't want to go 113 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: to school, or like I'm too busy staring at my 114 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: screen to do the three or four things that I 115 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: do need to do this morning. 116 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 2: Well, even the child that's a little bit slow to 117 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 2: get up in the morning, right, having that margin means 118 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 2: that I know that this child actually just needs a 119 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 2: little bit of extra time. So I'm going to wake 120 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 2: them a few minutes early, and I might even just 121 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 2: lie on the bed and give them a snuggle. Yeah, 122 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 2: as they kind of start to wake up and become 123 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 2: aware of the world, and we might sing a song, 124 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 2: we might say a prayer, we might read a story 125 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 2: for a few minutes. I have the margin to do 126 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 2: that because I've done all of preparation the night before, so. 127 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 1: That morning begins the night before. Thing, I didn't say 128 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: this before, but you've just said something so important. It's 129 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: not just about the kids, it's also about us. Like 130 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,920 Speaker 1: if we want to have an effective morning. We've got 131 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 1: to go to bed early enough Number one. That means 132 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: not too many episodes of whatever series we're into. But 133 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: we've also got to get our stuff organized so that 134 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: we're getting up with some margin and that we're looking 135 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: after our needs so that we can be present and 136 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: available for the kids. Slice of Advice number one, Morning 137 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 1: begins to night before. Slice of Advice number two margins 138 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: Lusted Advice number three Less correction and direction and more connection. 139 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 1: So correction and direction is the scolding and the reminding 140 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: and the nagging and what are you doing? And why 141 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: haven't you done what I said? And this is the 142 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: third time I've asked you to brush your hair, and 143 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 1: what do you mean you don't know where the hair brushes. 144 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: It shouldn't be that hard. We only have four things 145 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: to do, and then we've got to get out the door. 146 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: That's the correction and direction, the skullding. It just feels 147 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 1: horrible for connection. I think it works way better if 148 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: you do the things that you've just highlighted. But also 149 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: just a simple question like Ooh, I noticed that you're 150 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 1: staring at your screen. Does that mean that you've done everything? 151 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: Because I'm looking at your hair, and I do not 152 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,159 Speaker 1: think that you have done your hair and you just 153 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: breathing nim me and I can tell that your teeth 154 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: isn't are brushed either. What's next on your list? 155 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 2: One of the things that I've loved doing, especially recently 156 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 2: with a few of our kids, is if I see 157 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 2: them kind of just wandering around and they're not doing 158 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 2: what they need to do. Yeah, I actually just grab 159 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,039 Speaker 2: them in a big bear hug and I said. 160 00:06:52,839 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: What snacks. 161 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 2: Yes, it's just it's so, it's that gentle reminder. It's 162 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 2: just a couple of words. I'm not having to give 163 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 2: them a lecture or anything like that. But that connection, 164 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,040 Speaker 2: that physical connection stops them in their tracks. 165 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: And on top of what's next, a quick question do 166 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: you need a hand? Can I help? That's again it's 167 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: so connecting, and the kids are usually say no, it's 168 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: finally I can brush my twop on my own. But 169 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: it's about saying I'm here, I'm willing to be involved, 170 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: I'm willing to be present. It's more connection, less correction 171 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: and direction. 172 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:28,239 Speaker 2: Finally, number four, it's great if we can help them 173 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 2: create some anticipation about what's happening today at school. Is 174 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 2: it they've got swimming lessons and they really enjoy getting 175 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 2: in the pool. Is it that art classes on today, 176 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 2: or they've got drama, or they're with their friends catch 177 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 2: up with their friends. Maybe it's the fact that they 178 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,559 Speaker 2: know that they've got their favorite sandwich in their lunch box. 179 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 1: Kids who have something looked forward to each day, something 180 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: that they're optimistic about, are far more motivated to move 181 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: forward through the morning than those who are expecting nothing 182 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: but misery. So, I mean, for slices of advice, it 183 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: is hard to have consistently great mornings. You can do 184 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: all of this sort of stuff and things can still well, 185 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: the bottom can fall out, everything just pair shaped. 186 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 2: But the great thing is if you've had lots of 187 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 2: good mornings, then having the occasional one where things do 188 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 2: fall apart, you've actually got greater capacity to deal with 189 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 2: it because it's not a daily event. It's a lot 190 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 2: easier to keep it all together when it's just once 191 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 2: in a blue moon. 192 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. So if you're a routine, I mean we're on 193 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: a day too for many people, a week two for 194 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: a bunch of other people around the country. But if 195 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: your routine does become disordered, or if things are currently volatile. 196 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: I think these four simple slices of advice can help 197 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: make mornings much more magic. We really appreciate you listening 198 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 1: to a Happy Family's podcast. Thank you so much. Hopefully 199 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: it's making your family happier. The Happy Families podcast is 200 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,679 Speaker 1: produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is 201 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: our executive producer. For more information about how to make 202 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: your family happier, we would love for you to visit 203 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: us and check out The Quest. It's the brand new 204 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:59,080 Speaker 1: membership program designed specifically to make your family function better 205 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: and be happy. The Quest. You can find it at 206 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: happy families dot com dot a U. The Quest coming 207 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: soon