Speaker 1: Do you know one thing I hate at a kid's
Speaker 1: path meth addicts? No, I like them, they're they're good fun.
Speaker 2: Okay, what do I hate? What do you hate? Can
Speaker 2: I have one more guess?
Speaker 1: Yes? What would Ash hate? Should I just get to it?
Speaker 2: Bubblers that don't work?
Speaker 1: No? I hate the flying fox. When you go to
Speaker 1: a park that has a big flying fox. Have you
Speaker 1: seen those? They're great, great fun. But I always get
Speaker 1: roped into the one parent who keeps going back and forth,
Speaker 1: but for not just my kid, all the kids that
Speaker 1: join in. What do you mean, how are you getting
Speaker 1: roped into that? Okay, so I go with Oscar one second.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I'm Maddie Jay and
Speaker 2: I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It
Speaker 2: is the good, it is the bad. And look, we
Speaker 2: don't give any advice. But what we do do do
Speaker 2: do is talk about flying foxes. Continue we do do.
Speaker 1: Indeed talk about flying foxes. So Oscar just bear with me, Oscar, Daddy,
Speaker 1: I want to go on the flying fox. No problems,
Speaker 1: go over, help him onto the flying fox. It goes down,
Speaker 1: you've got to bring it back up. Usually you'd bring
Speaker 1: it back up for the next parent to help their
Speaker 1: child on. But for some reason, every time I do
Speaker 1: it with Oscar, I go to take it back. There's
Speaker 1: no other parent and there's like ten kids, and then
Speaker 1: they all can't reach it, so I've got to go
Speaker 1: back and forth and back and forth.
Speaker 2: Feel like the age of a child to use a
Speaker 2: flying fox without parental supervision is around about five. Anything
Speaker 2: under concerning anything out.
Speaker 1: Of that, I'm looking for consent from a parent.
Speaker 2: Would you hand a four year old a flying fox
Speaker 2: unaccompanied by an adult?
Speaker 1: Yes, you got it, man, you got it.
Speaker 2: It's a a harsh world out there, and these kids
Speaker 2: need to learn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the thing is like, what, like why can't
Speaker 1: other parents come over and help me?
Speaker 2: They just yeah, they're like it's okay, no do it
Speaker 2: because they're like, oh my god, look at that good
Speaker 2: Samaradan dad out there who's relaying like back and forth.
Speaker 1: I hate that you have set this up, You set
Speaker 1: the standard. I hate that so much. You just want
Speaker 1: to I've got I had two kids. If I wanted
Speaker 1: to do that for ten kids, I would have had
Speaker 1: ten kids. Fuck the other kids to stop them, just
Speaker 1: push them off. You reckon, just like another parent they don't.
Speaker 1: I've been starting, like all of Christmas holidays, we would
Speaker 1: go to this one park called Flying Fox Park. If
Speaker 1: you go to a flying Fox park with your kids,
Speaker 1: the expectation is that you have to help your kid
Speaker 1: on the flying Fox, not a random other parent. Right,
Speaker 1: It's unlike you to be so caring. I don't care.
Speaker 2: It's just I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I wouldn't expect you to be the one.
Speaker 2: Who being like that idiot dad helping out all these
Speaker 2: other kids who doesn't even know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 2: It's weird. Why how have you? How has this happened?
Speaker 1: It just happened too many times in the heat of summer.
Speaker 1: But just tell us, like, that's the thing. Then I
Speaker 1: have to deprive my kid from going on it. So
Speaker 1: now I was like, can we go? I'm like, oh, soon, soon, soon,
Speaker 1: we're doing something else because I know as soon as
Speaker 1: I go over there, Timmy, Jimmy, Sally and Susie, you're
Speaker 1: going to come up and I'm doing laps of the
Speaker 1: flying Fox. Let him, let him be, let him suffer. Well,
Speaker 1: then they're just going to stand there. That's life, bro,
Speaker 1: that is life.
Speaker 2: Flying Fox Park is really just a lesson for what
Speaker 2: life is like in the real world.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're on my side or not.
Speaker 2: I don't know either. I had a little session at
Speaker 2: the park. Hang on, I got a sneeze. One second.
Speaker 1: You're a plane. That was good, bless you. I reckon
Speaker 1: it was a cessna. You are autistic. You're a divergent actually, which.
Speaker 2: We'll get into later. Before before we do that, okay,
Speaker 2: before do that. Do you remember Tom Williams from Benhams
Speaker 2: and Gardens. Tom Williams very handsome man, what.
Speaker 1: I recall, very hand gorgeous. He's a bit older than us.
Speaker 2: Right now, he's I think he's let me just check,
Speaker 2: can confirm that his age. He's fifty four, Still gorgeous, stunning.
Speaker 2: He's a carpenter. Imagine that rocking up to your house
Speaker 2: to fix your back, like.
Speaker 1: Hire a hubby. Yeah, imagine if I know what sort
Speaker 1: of person he would be on a night out. You
Speaker 1: know what you're getting right there?
Speaker 2: What are you getting? Don't disrespect him? I'm not What
Speaker 2: are you getting? I don't want to say, because I'll
Speaker 2: just respect him.
Speaker 1: He's the loveliest, but the haircut. He's probably really lovely guy.
Speaker 1: That haircut back in the day, screamed one thing.
Speaker 2: We all had haircuts like that. He has like a
Speaker 2: bit for those he has a bit of a mohawk
Speaker 2: kind of cut. But he saved my life.
Speaker 1: He looks like Ben Cousins, look like Ben Cousins, and
Speaker 1: we all know what he was about.
Speaker 2: How do you how doare you compare the two? He
Speaker 2: saved my life. I was at a park literally or
Speaker 2: just literally. I was back back in the od stomping
Speaker 2: ground around Bondai. Decided Thursday Daddy day. Take my kid
Speaker 2: plus my niece from the jungle to the urban jungle.
Speaker 2: Some might say, very good from you, Thank you. You should
Speaker 2: be a copywriter.
Speaker 1: That's it for me.
Speaker 2: Went to what's called not Flying Fox Park rocket Ship Park.
Speaker 1: We have a rocket ship park too.
Speaker 2: It's not about you, it's about me. Isn't have a
Speaker 2: big rocket in the middle, hence the name it does
Speaker 2: you know your rocket ship? It was a chain of
Speaker 2: parks called rocket Ship Park. It's a great park. It's
Speaker 2: a cracking park. I've just finished. It's really beautiful. Went there,
Speaker 2: went there, must have been there for like I want
Speaker 2: to say, were there for about five minutes.
Speaker 1: What happened started raining. Oh yeah, I don't have enough.
Speaker 1: They don't have any cover, no cover at the rocket
Speaker 1: Ship parks. It's the cover. The rocket ship's too high
Speaker 1: for cover. It's a nightmare.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's the Achilles heel of the rocket ship.
Speaker 2: The rain. Yeah, it's over, it's over. So I was,
Speaker 2: I did. There's a metal slide and Laola was like,
Speaker 2: I'm going on it, and I was like, oh nuts.
Speaker 2: You know when metal gets wet, it gets very slippery.
Speaker 2: She she flew out of there. You know, you know
Speaker 2: when something's happening and it text you a second to realize,
Speaker 2: and I was, I was about three meters away from
Speaker 2: the slide, but I saw her flying down.
Speaker 1: I just kind of went. I was frozen. She flying
Speaker 1: off the end and she it was like long jump.
Speaker 1: She must have got four meters straight onto her like
Speaker 1: bumps straight onto the back. Combo were like, was it
Speaker 1: like it was?
Speaker 2: Thank Heaven, it's the rocket ship parks. All the new
Speaker 2: ones have soft landing parks.
Speaker 1: Would have been like back in parents. I was like,
Speaker 1: I went too fast in the slide.
Speaker 2: She would have had a bottom skin. Luckily she was okay.
Speaker 2: But then I was like, this is too dangerous. I'm
Speaker 2: pulling the pin on the rocket ship park. Okay, problem, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I didn't have a car, it's with him walking. Just nah,
Speaker 2: I got the bus there, didn't.
Speaker 1: I bustin they've got a bus. I got the basket
Speaker 1: of the bus.
Speaker 2: But the issue is ash issue is it was a
Speaker 2: bit of a walk from the bus stop, so I
Speaker 2: couldn't get a bus back home. Tried to call a
Speaker 2: TAXI couldn't get my mate.
Speaker 1: Why do they even have a phone number anymore? Like
Speaker 1: you just sit there on all day to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: It reminds me of the city to serve.
Speaker 2: Remember, yes, can we just allow children, babies and ubers,
Speaker 2: like if they're allowed in calves, let them in an
Speaker 2: uber without.
Speaker 1: A baby seat.
Speaker 2: Canning, Queensland may change the rules. We're living in the
Speaker 2: dark ages here in New South Wales.
Speaker 1: State state by state laws is a joke.
Speaker 2: Isn't there an election coming up? We should campaign the
Speaker 2: dad party the dad party no baby seats and ubers?
Speaker 1: That could be no, yeah, that could be our main thing,
Speaker 1: Like any man, woman or child should be able to
Speaker 1: ride an uber without discrimination.
Speaker 2: And more parental supervision at Flying Fox Parks.
Speaker 1: More shade and more cover. Oh, we are onto something.
Speaker 1: This is good. Think of the people that would actually,
Speaker 1: can you please look up how to create a political party? Please?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Yes. Also, just to put another spanner in the works,
Speaker 2: I had my knees. I had Lola. Guess who else
Speaker 2: I had?
Speaker 1: Nana had Nana.
Speaker 2: You know what nana's are like in the wet Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know who.
Speaker 1: I was more worried about Lola. On Nana.
Speaker 2: I was like, don't touch, that's OK, You're fine, And
Speaker 2: I'm like, how the hell am I going to get home?
Speaker 2: And then out of nowhere, Tom Williams. Tom Williams comes
Speaker 2: walking through the park. He's just finished a meeting. Walking Yeah,
Speaker 2: he don't tell me. He piggybacked you all and he said.
Speaker 1: What are you doing?
Speaker 2: And I said, I'm trying to get home, and he goes,
Speaker 2: don't worry, you can hop in my car.
Speaker 1: And Lola was like, who is this guy? Not a stranger?
Speaker 1: Nana was very happy to get the car of time.
Speaker 1: Was she in front seat? No?
Speaker 2: I put her in the back. Smart Tom Williams saved
Speaker 2: my life.
Speaker 1: That it's just dad's looking out for each other, just
Speaker 1: one dad to another, one dad to another. So vote
Speaker 1: one the political the dad political party. We look out.
Speaker 1: We call it the party for the Dad party.
Speaker 2: Like it's I now have to like with that good deed.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm now looking to give my good deed
Speaker 2: to another parent. You don't need any good deeds.
Speaker 1: You're fine. Well I'm not, actually, and I have a
Speaker 1: story about that. Not fine. Hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids about the hemorrhoids
Speaker 1: were vicious while you were gone, And that was from
Speaker 1: stress because stressed about you. I was worried about you,
Speaker 1: not about me or my terrible lifestyle and my horrible
Speaker 1: habits had nothing to do with that. It's all stress.
Speaker 1: But we have some answers Matthew to why I am
Speaker 1: like the way that I am? Okay, it's formal, so
Speaker 1: we always joke. We joke a lot on these podcasts
Speaker 1: about the poster boy for a particular it's a disorder disorder. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's got enough d's in there to add of disorder.
Speaker 1: It's a disorder. I have formerly been diagnosed bias like
Speaker 1: high triss as a severe let me finish a severe
Speaker 1: case of adult ADHD. Do we class? Look, I didn't
Speaker 1: know what to do. I was like, congratulations, I can't
Speaker 1: say I'm surprised. I'm not surprised. We all knew. Now
Speaker 1: that I know, it's it's way worse. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I found myself yesterday. Better. It's better the disorder. You
Speaker 1: don't know, Yeah, I found myself yesterday. We're at the
Speaker 1: PM's house for that thing you're doing, and I was
Speaker 1: like staring off into the like into no man's landlight,
Speaker 1: and then I'd be like, oh, oh shit. If someone's
Speaker 1: like talking, was like ash, just this echo, like yeah,
Speaker 1: it's quite a long process. I thought Matt's scaring at
Speaker 1: the jungle and he pulled my finger out and do
Speaker 1: something for myself off here? And can I ask?
Speaker 2: Can I ask what made you want to get tested?
Speaker 2: Because you've you're now in your.
Speaker 1: About one hundred and seventeen episodes of this podcast. I
Speaker 1: listened back to all them. I was like, Fuck, that
Speaker 1: guy needs some help.
Speaker 2: Because you kind of think you've come this far. You're
Speaker 2: in your mid thirties, you come this far, you know surely,
Speaker 2: surely you know you're fine.
Speaker 1: No, it's getting worse. It's getting progressively worse. Really in
Speaker 1: what way? Look, I know I know that I've always
Speaker 1: had problems focusing. I know that I always I'm real scattery,
Speaker 1: I'm real up and down, I move everything.
Speaker 2: Are you.
Speaker 1: Don't? I'm happy? Shut up? And honestly it was I
Speaker 1: knew it was getting worse. And then I started to
Speaker 1: pay attention to some things that Oscar would do and
Speaker 1: how okay, and you know he's five, he's he's you
Speaker 1: know not. He just reminded me so much of what
Speaker 1: of what I what like my brain and like what
Speaker 1: the mannerisms and things like he cannot focus on anything?
Speaker 1: What was Oscar doing that? He can't focus on me,
Speaker 1: but he can hyper focus on a small on a
Speaker 1: one small task and like for me, I used to
Speaker 1: be able to hyper focus on things. And then can
Speaker 1: I just refresh your memory? And I you know this,
Speaker 1: But for the listeners, Ash, I don't know what it was.
Speaker 1: But he was like, I'm really into Pokemon cards and
Speaker 1: I was like, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: And you would watch you would watch people live stream
Speaker 2: opening Pokemon cards and then you started collecting Pokemon cards.
Speaker 1: And now I'm in severe debt.
Speaker 2: Yeap just you were like locked into Pokemon car locked in.
Speaker 1: Still bro, I am locked in. Actually I guess I
Speaker 1: can harp a focus on that. But like I would
Speaker 1: find that, I was like, Okay, well I can't. I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to become as focused as Oscar is, and
Speaker 1: I'm an adult who like should be able to focus on.
Speaker 1: I can't read an email. I can read like a
Speaker 1: head of an email. I could learn a new skill
Speaker 1: like Rubik's cube. Took me one day to learn the
Speaker 1: Rubik's cube, you know what I mean. But I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't form a new habit. I can't build a
Speaker 1: new habit, like just shit like that. And it's progressively
Speaker 1: getting worse to the point where like I'm unmotivated to
Speaker 1: do anything, like I'm unmotivated to get out of bed,
Speaker 1: all this sort of stuff. That it was like, all right,
Speaker 1: probably need to do something about it. Do you remember
Speaker 1: and tell me if this is the case or not.
Speaker 1: Do you remember?
Speaker 2: It must have been like six months ago we had
Speaker 2: a conversation about potentially getting diagnosed, and you said something
Speaker 2: along the lines of you don't want to get medicated
Speaker 2: because it's going to change who you are.
Speaker 1: That's a common concern they say it because it's like
Speaker 1: we talk about ADHD as you know, like a disorder
Speaker 1: like a it's really bad, but it's also a superpowerful.
Speaker 1: A lot of people, Like the psychiatrist said to me,
Speaker 1: he said, you've gotten as far as you have done
Speaker 1: now with what's going on in your head, but you're
Speaker 1: obviously at a point in your life where you need
Speaker 1: you need. I need to be able to create a routine,
Speaker 1: have some sort of structure. I need to be able
Speaker 1: to sleep properly. Like this's so like it takes me
Speaker 1: like four hours to go to sleep. I'll just lay
Speaker 1: there bro and my head will just just run the
Speaker 1: whole time, the biggest one. And you'll notice it when
Speaker 1: and you probably already notice it when that I noticed
Speaker 1: when I come on the phone to someone and I'm
Speaker 1: invested in our conversation and something so minute will get
Speaker 1: my attention and I'll pull on that piece of string
Speaker 1: and the complete conversation changes to me just I'm not
Speaker 1: there anymore. And I've gotten to the point where I'm
Speaker 1: doing that to family and stuff like that, and I'll
Speaker 1: get off the phone and I'll go, fuck, I just
Speaker 1: did that again. I'll have to ring, Like I rang
Speaker 1: my sister back up yesterday and I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry. You would having an actual important conversation with me,
Speaker 1: and I didn't digest him. I didn't digest the back
Speaker 1: end of I don't even know what happened because something
Speaker 1: had caught my eye and I cannot refocus on that conversation.
Speaker 2: And it's tough because obviously your sister's going to be
Speaker 2: very sympathetic because she understands you and you and who
Speaker 2: you are. But I guess other people might be like
Speaker 2: fuck ash, like that's.
Speaker 1: Rude so many people, and I feel really bad. So
Speaker 1: if you are on the phone to me and I
Speaker 1: do tune out, it's a disorder now, okay, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's yeah, it just was getting to the point where
Speaker 1: I have that's just put yourself in my shoes for
Speaker 1: a moment. No motivation, no routine, no structure, no goals,
Speaker 1: no interests. Like I was just like a blob. Yeah,
Speaker 1: pretty much. And it's like I can't. It really really
Speaker 1: hit me when I surfed the wavepool before you it
Speaker 1: was before you left or during your left, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I did hurt my back on the same session, but
Speaker 1: I literally paddled out and I was like, I fucking
Speaker 1: hate this and it was like why though, why is that?
Speaker 1: Like why is your brain now associating this with something
Speaker 1: that you hate, Like, yeah, is it because maybe that
Speaker 1: I put too much pressure on myself to be the
Speaker 1: best that I can be, but I don't have the
Speaker 1: patience to work to be the best I could be.
Speaker 2: So what was the process? Because I remember you saying
Speaker 2: it was hard. I know you were kind of like
Speaker 2: tiptoeing around getting tested. But it's not just a simple
Speaker 2: make an appointment. Oh yeah, you like to do this test?
Speaker 1: You have it? What does it look like? Step by step?
Speaker 1: So this is the second time I've been down it
Speaker 1: because we spoke about it last year. But it was
Speaker 1: the referral I got then was to a particular clinic
Speaker 1: that feel like they were quite big. So you sort
Speaker 1: of get you sort of go into the conveyor belt
Speaker 1: of process, if you will. And I felt like the
Speaker 1: information was like the step was like it felt like
Speaker 1: the test, you know what I mean? It was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get through all this shit. I
Speaker 1: can't focus on one thing. How do you want me
Speaker 1: to focus on fifteen different things before I can see
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist who to say, Okay, what's going on, which
Speaker 1: probably deters a lot of people. I got really lucky
Speaker 1: because of Kisha. Keisha's such an advocate for it.
Speaker 2: For people who don't know. It's Keisha from Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: She created Cloud, which is on the Life on Cut network,
Speaker 1: which is a podcast all about ADHD, and she was
Speaker 1: able to point me in the right direction of how
Speaker 1: she went through it where it wasn't as painful, which look,
Speaker 1: the steps are essentially the same, but there was more
Speaker 1: guidance instead of just being like, here go, this is
Speaker 1: what you need to do because you're one of a
Speaker 1: million people in this in the in the start of
Speaker 1: this clinic here where you need to go do this,
Speaker 1: do that? Do this? Do that? What do they make
Speaker 1: you do? So stuff Like there's a lot of like
Speaker 1: cognitive testing, Like when you go for a new job
Speaker 1: in a corporate situation ago, you go through an online questionnaire. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's long. Again, you feel like this is the
Speaker 1: ADHD test, but it's just to find out what sort
Speaker 1: of person you are, Like what what makes you tick?
Speaker 1: What doesn't make your tick? Are you depressed? Are you sad? So?
Speaker 1: Do you do that?
Speaker 2: You do that test and then what happens after that?
Speaker 1: You've got to they say that you need to provide
Speaker 1: some like character references. Why I wasn't I called up?
Speaker 1: Uh what do you think it was? Like? Thankfully you
Speaker 1: don't necessarily have to I think there is you do
Speaker 1: enough cognitive testing about your character, and then they're also
Speaker 1: asked for like penis. I don't know, I haven't seen
Speaker 1: it in ages, and it's like like old school reports
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, because there's no way you would
Speaker 1: have had that. Oh no, no, definitely not no, no no.
Speaker 1: And thankfully through this channel, I didn't have to do
Speaker 1: any of that. So like your reports would have said,
Speaker 1: easily distracted bam. Yeah, losers focus bam, cannot focus on
Speaker 1: tausk bam. My advice to anyone who's who wants to
Speaker 1: go down the track and looks at it and goes, fuck,
Speaker 1: it looks like a long thing. Just do your due
Speaker 1: diligence on where you do it. Because this was really
Speaker 1: quick opposed to it being really really long. So this
Speaker 1: was like a couple of week wait to see a
Speaker 1: psychiatrist off the back of your testing.
Speaker 2: It was telehealth. We spent an hour together. So just
Speaker 2: so I know, so you've done your online online test,
Speaker 2: I'll go from.
Speaker 1: Stuff GP to with your concerns as you should do
Speaker 1: with everything. Really, go and see your GP. Just tell
Speaker 1: them what's going on and what makes you think, and
Speaker 1: they'll ask you some general questions there too, because they're
Speaker 1: trained to do so as well. But then they'll go, O,
Speaker 1: do you have a clinic in mind, which thankfully from
Speaker 1: Keisha I did, and then you essentially the referel goes
Speaker 1: to them, They reach out to you. They essentially give
Speaker 1: you all the information about what comes next.
Speaker 2: I'm really dumb here, but is a clinic like an
Speaker 2: ADHD clinic?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, it's like an ADHD clinic and like like
Speaker 1: brain neurodiversion, they specialize and all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1: And then you do the online. Yeah, they sort of
Speaker 1: give what's going to happen next. And the cost. That's
Speaker 1: another thing too. It's because how much does it costs?
Speaker 1: Oh look, it's like it's upwards as three grands. Oh
Speaker 1: it's not cheap, it's not cheap. Wow, it's for me.
Speaker 1: I was at a point where I felt like I
Speaker 1: needed to invest it so that I don't essentially become
Speaker 1: you know, depressed really, because it's where it was headed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was headed to like impacting you that much. It
Speaker 1: was impacting you to the point where there was thoughts
Speaker 1: of suicide, like just completely honest, like very minor. But
Speaker 1: I've felt that before, but I thought, this is getting
Speaker 1: worse and this is the trigger for that. It was
Speaker 1: sort of like for me, that was my how I
Speaker 1: felt because I had no motivation, no, no structure, no no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: don't don't don't at all. Like I've I've sort of
Speaker 1: stuffered with this sort of stuff for long and a
Speaker 1: half that I'm like, okay, well, but what was getting
Speaker 1: me down was that I couldn't. I would do the thing.
Speaker 1: You know, here's an example, like you would go, okay,
Speaker 1: I want to do this, right. See what you do
Speaker 1: is you put the steps in place to get to there.
Speaker 1: I would go, I want to do this, get to
Speaker 1: the first step in my brain and go this is
Speaker 1: all too hard and that's it, you know, Like here's
Speaker 1: a good one. I started doing laps at the pool.
Speaker 1: So what did I bought? Like one hundred dollars pair
Speaker 1: of goggles. They're still in the packet and that was
Speaker 1: two weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like, so after after you do your you went to
Speaker 2: the clinic, did are you testing there? And is that
Speaker 2: off the back of that, do they say you like
Speaker 2: you have it?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, so you do the testing and then you
Speaker 1: have your consultation with with a psychiatrist, and there's a lot.
Speaker 1: They dive into a lot like childhood, family life, both
Speaker 1: your immediate family and then obviously my wife and kids,
Speaker 1: and you know, school and hobbies and habits like alcohol,
Speaker 1: drug or they do into everything in a family loss. Look,
Speaker 1: if you're not at a position where you want to
Speaker 1: talk about all that stuff, then maybe it's not worth
Speaker 1: going down there. Front. It's really confronted. It's like exhausting.
Speaker 1: At the end of it, you're like fuck like like
Speaker 1: it's like a it's a proper therapy session, which thankfully
Speaker 1: I've got some experience in so I wasn't, but I
Speaker 1: can imagine if that's your first Oh yeah, you'd be
Speaker 1: like holy Like I had to take it in the
Speaker 1: car because it's just like I needed zero distractions. I
Speaker 1: just needed to I was like, if I'm going to
Speaker 1: spend all this money and do it to improve my life,
Speaker 1: I need to just lock myself away and get it done.
Speaker 1: And then, based off that in the conversation, he said, look,
Speaker 1: in my professional opinion you do have adult ADHD along
Speaker 1: with there's a couple other things that's in the They
Speaker 1: give you a diagnosis, which is the diagnosis goes back
Speaker 1: to my GP for next steps, which is next steps
Speaker 1: is blood work ECG and for me, blood work and
Speaker 1: ECG is really important because I've got heart disease. Out
Speaker 1: for medication, for medication, yeah, because he openly says, hey,
Speaker 1: we can treat this with medication whatever that's going to
Speaker 1: look like, I don't know yet, or we can. You
Speaker 1: can look at you unpacking. It's like a fast way
Speaker 1: or slow like that's the way they put it. And
Speaker 1: I was like, look, I'm open to being medicated, but
Speaker 1: that's what I was worried about losing my spark, right,
Speaker 1: I was losing like I didn't want to lose my
Speaker 1: personality and will lose how my brain works in certain ways.
Speaker 1: And he was like, no, no, I will. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But then at the same time you talk about your spark,
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't I look think about that moment
Speaker 2: where you say you're thinking about self harm and you're like, well,
Speaker 2: that's not it's not helping it. It's it's not a
Speaker 2: spark that you think it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, there's always like the negative side to my
Speaker 1: brain and the personality that I have. But he said
Speaker 1: to me, no, no, no, He's like, look, what we
Speaker 1: can do is we can look to just make it
Speaker 1: easier for you to focus on tasks and and and
Speaker 1: achieve smaller goals than just being like, here's something kind
Speaker 1: of completely dull who you are as a person for
Speaker 1: the rest of your life. And that's a big stigma
Speaker 1: around medication. When I'm medicated already now and I have
Speaker 1: been for years, but it's like before that, I was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be medicated because I didn't want
Speaker 1: to be seen as that person who's medicated. Right, it's
Speaker 1: like he's had like a lobotomy, yeah, essentially, and like
Speaker 1: but then once I went down the process the first
Speaker 1: time with you know, with that, it's like, it's not
Speaker 1: that bad.
Speaker 2: Do they when you say severe? Is there like a scale?
Speaker 2: Is it like between?
Speaker 1: I guess it's just his medical opinion, right, He's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well I've heard you. I've heard what you're like, what
Speaker 1: your brain's like, and they're very good at like drawing
Speaker 1: stuff out of you that they are trained to do,
Speaker 1: right if.
Speaker 2: They could, But it's kind of I guess. On the
Speaker 2: one hand, it's kind of daunting to know like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I've actually got this thing now, But then at the
Speaker 2: same time, it must be nice in a sense to know, like, hey,
Speaker 2: it's you know, I've been living with this thing which
Speaker 2: has been hindering me for so long. It's not you,
Speaker 2: it's it's like, you know, it makes sense. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: like now that I'm aware of it.
Speaker 1: And there's certain things that the certain behaviors that I do,
Speaker 1: like like Mike, my doom scrolling is on a fucking
Speaker 1: another level. It's because it's ADHD paralysis. I'm just there
Speaker 1: searching for open mean search and that's the easiest way
Speaker 1: for me to get it without you know, racking up
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like in that I'm just
Speaker 1: like consistently searching. And it's like it's a known thing
Speaker 1: that you go into a paralysis where you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna sit here all day in a vortex, and
Speaker 1: I have done that. You know what. The first day
Speaker 1: both kids went back to school, I think you were
Speaker 1: away and I think we had nothing on or whatever.
Speaker 1: I literally sat there till the kids got home. He
Speaker 1: got nothing achieved that day, and it was like, I
Speaker 1: don't have the motivation, nor do I have this drive
Speaker 1: the strength to move off his couch and other than
Speaker 1: just sit there and doom scroll Yeah, maybe joke off. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's where we're at.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you haven't had any medication.
Speaker 1: Gotta do blood test ECGs. Then you go and do
Speaker 1: another psych appointment to talk about medications, the pros, the
Speaker 1: con all that sort of stuff. Like another hour, and
Speaker 1: then they see you again, just make any adjustments, and
Speaker 1: then it's up to you how often you want to
Speaker 1: see them, like check in. So like I think Keish
Speaker 1: was saying that she did the first initial appointments and
Speaker 1: they adjusted the medication and everything seems to be working fine.
Speaker 1: But if her if her brain chemistry changes or something changes,
Speaker 1: like maybe she falls pregnant and hormones changed things that
Speaker 1: maybe she might need to change when it came again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but she's gone through the harder process. Well, dude, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you. Thank you, very proud of you.
Speaker 1: That's the most serious conversation I've had in a very
Speaker 1: long time. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think it would have been so easy to kick
Speaker 2: this bucket down the road. A little bit longer, a
Speaker 2: little bit longer, knowing how hard the process is. I think,
Speaker 2: well done, thank you, well done. I feel better about
Speaker 2: it already.
Speaker 1: I mean it's like you said, there's no surprises like
Speaker 1: it was. You know, I can I can have a
Speaker 1: large red Bull and go straight to sleep, like you know,
Speaker 1: you know, it's just yeah, it just got to the
Speaker 1: point where it was like and then I was doing
Speaker 1: I was doing this thing where I was like.
Speaker 2: Wish I'd known this before I started a podcast with you.
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's two years, I'm kidding, kidding, But it was
Speaker 1: getting to the point where I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not yeah, like I definitely have a problem with alcohol,
Speaker 1: Like well, that's no fucking secret. But it was getting
Speaker 1: to the point where it was like I was just
Speaker 1: drinking because I was just depressed about it. And it
Speaker 1: was like, if I'm gonna be unmotivated to do things,
Speaker 1: I might as well do the things that's like, the
Speaker 1: the easy things that give me some sort of chemical
Speaker 1: in my brain to make me feel a bit better. Anyway,
Speaker 1: here we are, and I'll keep you I'll keep you
Speaker 1: updated when I get back from Vegas. Keep us posting.
Speaker 2: I guess if anyone has any questions specific to your
Speaker 2: process of getting diagnosed, hit us up, let us know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, Facebook, Instagram, whatever do you damn me?
Speaker 1: I don't mind. I'll ignore it. Matt, Yes, back from
Speaker 1: the Jungle. But you did miss quite a key moment
Speaker 1: in Marley's life. You did make a little heart symbol
Speaker 1: on TV. You did wish her well from the Jungle,
Speaker 1: which she loved.
Speaker 2: The heart loved her and I felt guilty a few times.
Speaker 2: I'd forget to do it and I'd be like laying
Speaker 2: there and be the first day, like.
Speaker 1: The first recording, first episode, we're all here now, like
Speaker 1: when's he got to do it? And then like eventually
Speaker 1: you did it, like a little like I think when
Speaker 1: you got the opportunity because it was hard. You don't
Speaker 1: know what's going to air, what's not going to air. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the first day of school, primary school, You've you've
Speaker 1: been back a week or so. Now now she's doing
Speaker 1: she's done really well.
Speaker 2: You've been doing drop offs and stuff, like I've been
Speaker 2: doing drop offs only at the new daycare with Lola,
Speaker 2: so I've kind of been missing school.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen the late great Mandy j come through.
Speaker 2: I went to We actually had a parent teacher night
Speaker 2: where we have this three kindergarten classes and you and
Speaker 2: all the parents go along and it's not one on one.
Speaker 2: It's like the curriculum, and they kind of say like,
Speaker 2: this is what the kids learning, and they made it
Speaker 2: sound really complicated. They were like, so we're going to
Speaker 2: be learning about maths and social studies. And I was
Speaker 2: kind of like, what do you learn about maths? They're like, oh,
Speaker 2: just like they count to ten. Timmy has seven oranges,
Speaker 2: twelves and twelve plum But I was thinking, oh, wow,
Speaker 2: they're teaching some pretty full on stuff here. But no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's all it's all like, it's all fun times.
Speaker 1: I mean these days, they've obviously got iPads in class.
Speaker 1: They've got like a you know, we have like a
Speaker 1: chalkboard or a fucking whiteboard. They've got like a TV
Speaker 1: screen board. They've got TV scoos at your school, Yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: the whole thing. It's like interactive what I don't know,
Speaker 1: wild public school.
Speaker 2: We're living in the dark ages over here in Bonda.
Speaker 2: We've got whiteboards. Still, you've still got BONDI beach. I
Speaker 2: was like, what is this what is this rubbish? Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's funny how you forget how much kids.
Speaker 1: Froth on a little merit award.
Speaker 2: They had these badge system, so if you are seen
Speaker 2: to be doing something that's like in line with school rules,
Speaker 2: you can get ethics yeah yeah, yeah, and then you
Speaker 2: get these little badges like little tokens, and then if
Speaker 2: you get three tokens, you get a merit award.
Speaker 1: Then if you get two merrit awards, you get.
Speaker 2: Like a Blue Award or something, and it's then you
Speaker 2: get four Blue wards, you get a rid of Week. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and you're like, who cares? But the kids they lose
Speaker 2: their ship. Molly's had one badge so far, like little token,
Speaker 2: and she's like, you're never going to believe what happened.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well what did you get?
Speaker 2: And she's like, I got the token. I amost that
Speaker 2: molays in a run run the world god and losing
Speaker 2: her mind. But she's she's taken a school Yeah fine, yeah,
Speaker 2: same with Oscar. I mean the thing for us like
Speaker 2: that he's frothing on is who's the fastest. That's that's
Speaker 2: what boys do, right, They're like, who's the fastest in
Speaker 2: the school And every week it's different. He's very quick,
Speaker 2: he's very quick, but he was like this kid was
Speaker 2: faster than me last week, but this week was definitely
Speaker 2: faster than him.
Speaker 1: Or like this is so base. Who's I know, I
Speaker 1: know who's the fastest is the best? But all the
Speaker 1: girls like, oh my god, there's that. It was really funny,
Speaker 1: like we've got like a really long track to get
Speaker 1: to school. Yeah, one entrance, one exit, and you know,
Speaker 1: we walk all the way down with him and I
Speaker 1: was like, what you do today, you know? And he
Speaker 1: was like, oh, we did rhyming words and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, like what words and he was like like
Speaker 1: truck and I was like, okay, don't do it. Don't
Speaker 1: do it. Don't do it rhymes with truck and he
Speaker 1: was like fuck. I was like, and there's a little
Speaker 1: girl in front of us that was in her grade too,
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh yeah, does wrong with that?
Speaker 1: And you're like my work. I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is good year. So it's how fast you are.
Speaker 1: The running is definitely a big who's the fastest? And
Speaker 1: another one is that I wanted to ask you about
Speaker 1: is obviously lunches. All kids want canteen food. They just
Speaker 1: they just want on a Friday. Yeah, so we haven't
Speaker 1: done it at all, but the kids are trying to
Speaker 1: manipulate all the parents by saying every oh, this kid
Speaker 1: gets it every day, like everyone gets it but me,
Speaker 1: And so we've figured them out. Lenny and Oscar obviously
Speaker 1: in the same cli wat trying to playoffs. They're trying
Speaker 1: to play each other, but they don't realize that. We
Speaker 1: talked to his parents. It's so dumb. And apparently Lenny
Speaker 1: went home and was like, uh, everyone gets Canteen food
Speaker 1: every day except for me, and they were like everyone
Speaker 1: everyone gets Oscar. They're like, hang on a moment rings
Speaker 1: April on lad Speak and He's like, does os get
Speaker 1: Canteen food And I was like, na, not yet, and
Speaker 1: they were like, see Lenny just trying to We were
Speaker 1: all like showing him like that because it's all on
Speaker 1: apps and stuff. Now that's that's a that's a crazy thing.
Speaker 2: Like Laura was like, hey, you got to put in
Speaker 2: eight am is a deadline in the morning of put
Speaker 2: your order in, and she's like, just do it on the.
Speaker 1: App and I was like, what, where's the brown paper bag?
Speaker 2: You just ride on like sausage roll dollars sixty. Put
Speaker 2: the money in the battle sausage roll twelve dollars sixty.
Speaker 2: Very expensive. But they have apps now. They have apps
Speaker 2: for Canti.
Speaker 1: Any app called I have a really good name for
Speaker 1: that app. It's called the app should be called brown paperbag.
Speaker 1: Just saying the app right, no good, it's not your best.
Speaker 1: I'll put it down to yet I. I just thought
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: I'll put it down to your ADHD.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I'm not going to tell you things if
Speaker 1: you're going to use it against me. So I also
Speaker 1: have a massive penis.
Speaker 2: But Marley today has her first exam. First example, see
Speaker 2: already first test they have. They do these reading tests
Speaker 2: to figure out what books you get, So you get
Speaker 2: different books depending on your ability to the library at.
Speaker 1: The library or do you guys have a library or school? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think so, I don't know school. I zoned out
Speaker 2: during the parent teaching. There is some kind of a library.
Speaker 3: I think, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It was a forty five minute meeting about school curriculum,
Speaker 2: so I was twenty. Can I just say to the
Speaker 2: teacher it was great.
Speaker 1: Try and do it with ADHD. It's not a competition broke.
Speaker 2: It's but Maria's going to find it. Maria's going to
Speaker 2: find out what level her reading is. That she's so good,
Speaker 2: she's very good. She's freakishly good. Like Reeds better than me.
Speaker 1: Doing a running test today, mondays Marley's doing a reading.
Speaker 1: She's like, what's this?
Speaker 2: But Lola hates it. Lola's like, why is she going
Speaker 2: to a separate school? So now we're debating. We were
Speaker 2: going to hold back Lola for one more year of
Speaker 2: daycare next year, but now we're like, do you know what,
Speaker 2: Let's just send them both.
Speaker 1: She's a fair baby, so I think I think she'll
Speaker 1: be five when she starts. Yeah, fine, right, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Send her Yes, the draft, Yeah this one, fine, give
Speaker 2: to this one. But it's so fast and good, so
Speaker 2: fast good, and the parents that we've met are lovely.
Speaker 1: I really love it.
Speaker 2: And the most exciting part ash I'm going to get
Speaker 2: my electric bike this weekend so I can start doing
Speaker 2: drop offs.
Speaker 1: In my bike. I've been doing the drop offs on
Speaker 1: a bike because it's carnage down there. It's an nightmare. Absolute.
Speaker 2: I would rather spend an afternoon in Hell than do
Speaker 2: a drop off in the car.
Speaker 1: Trying to find a part, and I'm like five hundred
Speaker 1: meters from the school. But the problem is it's like
Speaker 1: all uphill on the way back, which to walk. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: but the electric bike. You just mosey back up because
Speaker 1: Oscar must love it. Loves it every day, even April
Speaker 1: and I rode the bike to parent teacher interviews April together.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Man, everyone's trying to get parks. I rode all the
Speaker 1: way down to the front of the school. Where was
Speaker 1: she sitting on the back. She's sitting, bitch, baby, what's
Speaker 1: that the seat behind where you grab like that? There's
Speaker 1: plenty of grab onto at the moment, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: She was like, all this, you look great, thank you?
Speaker 1: But yeah, did you get the bucket one?
Speaker 2: A little buck at the front, double seat at the back?
Speaker 2: I got the real I got the dad Mode one.
Speaker 2: You got the cool one I've got, you got the
Speaker 2: cool surf one.
Speaker 1: I've got a new one coming. Oh jeez, must be nice.
Speaker 3: This one's just a freebie. This one just someone who
Speaker 3: wants to with the odd one. Ah, I don't know,
Speaker 3: that's mine. How many how many electric bikes do you need?
Speaker 1: I needed a new one because the one I've got
Speaker 1: is not powerful enough for all the hill.
Speaker 2: Hey, we have a little update. A little while ago
Speaker 2: would have been last year, the end of November.
Speaker 1: Can you believe it's nearly the end of fair? But
Speaker 1: I can't. I cannot, I cannot. Where does the time go?
Speaker 1: Where did it go? Lost it? I'm thirty five this year. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: you're forty. I'm thirty eight. Yeah, your wife's forty though
Speaker 1: these gray hairs.
Speaker 2: Bro.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we did the calendar, the raaunchry raunge calendar. He did.
Speaker 2: You may be wondering, Ash, how much money did we
Speaker 2: raise because we were donating all proceeds to a great
Speaker 2: charity called rise Up. They support victims of domestic violence. Ash,
Speaker 2: have a guess how much money we will be donating.
Speaker 2: Fifty bucks, A little bit more than that. It is
Speaker 2: three thousand, five hundred and fourteen dollars will be donated
Speaker 2: to rise Up.
Speaker 1: That is outstanding, and that is because of the listeners.
Speaker 2: So thank you so much for your support. That is
Speaker 2: a roundom applause.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's worth a round the clause.
Speaker 2: Are we are a clapping podcast?
Speaker 1: Now? Now where's two doting clappers?
Speaker 2: So yeah, I really appreciate the support. We do have
Speaker 2: some calendars left, so if you would like to hit
Speaker 2: your hands. I know we talked about the year going
Speaker 2: so far, but.
Speaker 1: There's plenty of time. We'll had two extra months at
Speaker 1: the year. He got nine months to enjoy the calendar.
Speaker 1: That's all they have to do is put the two
Speaker 1: front months at the end. Just roll it on into
Speaker 1: twenty twenty six. Yes, March twentieth.
Speaker 2: This guy's good a business. We will put a link
Speaker 2: in the shows. We will put the link in the
Speaker 2: show notes where you can buy the calendar. But a
Speaker 2: huge thanks for all your support.
Speaker 1: And we obviously need to do like March twentieth as
Speaker 1: a two doing Dad Day or something. Why is that
Speaker 1: again because we did twice cops. Yeah, yeah, that is.
Speaker 1: That is quality control on that calendar seems to.
Speaker 2: But but if you haven't bought one, it's a great calendar. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there's a couple of mistakes in there, but ignore it
Speaker 2: doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Now it still rolls on. I think if it didn't
Speaker 1: roll on, if it threw every other day, it's just numbers,
Speaker 1: just numbers.
Speaker 2: It doesn't it doesn't make any major impact.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's the calendar exactly? No one. You should buy one,
Speaker 1: no one to buy in the calendar for the dates
Speaker 1: to the pictures. That's the for days anyway, that's good.
Speaker 1: That's good gear.
Speaker 2: And on that note, we will get out of here.
Speaker 2: You've got to drive home. I'm going to pick up
Speaker 2: the kids.
Speaker 1: Ashy. If you've enjoyed this episode, what should you do?
Speaker 1: You should leave a review, subscribe like whatever you do?
Speaker 1: Yeah five stars. Follow us on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. Facebook.
Speaker 1: We will speak to you guys when I get back.
Speaker 1: When I get back from day oh.
Speaker 2: God, please be safe, look after yourself well, come back
Speaker 2: in one piece always.
Speaker 1: I am a soldiers. I'm done. I'll be fine. We'll
Speaker 1: see you guys. Two.
Speaker 2: Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 2: Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight Onlander
Speaker 1: People's Today