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Speaker 1: It is terrible.

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Speaker 2: All going on.

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Speaker 1: This totally sucks. We got you can everyone. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: Bad Trips. This is the podcast where we get celebrities

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Speaker 1: on to essentially just tell us bad travel stories. These

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Speaker 1: are really stories that a lot of the time, these

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Speaker 1: are stories that you're happy to reveal to friends late

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Speaker 1: at night after a few glasses of read. They're always crackers,

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Speaker 1: and we can never get them on the radio show

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Speaker 1: because often they do involve elements we're a little bit

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Speaker 1: too crude, a little bit embarrassing, and someone who doesn't

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Speaker 1: really care about either of those things. It's Julia Morra,

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Speaker 1: which is nice.

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Speaker 2: I mean word, no, you would.

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Speaker 1: Have said that, you would have told this story in

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Speaker 1: Live on Angelia. I'm not sure if we got you

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Speaker 1: on the podcast with this one, but I'm still very

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Speaker 1: keen to hear. Are you a traveler, Julia Morrows?

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Speaker 2: Is that a thing for you? Well, I've been nothing

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Speaker 2: but a traveler as a comic. Your life is on

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Speaker 2: the road, of course, and I have been. I commuted

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Speaker 2: to school from Gosford to Sydney. Oh, and I've been.

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Speaker 2: I lived over in London for eight years. I lived

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Speaker 2: in in the in Los Angeles for two years and

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Speaker 2: the majority of my working life has been traveling and touring. Wow,

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Speaker 2: here we go, we were very excited to hear about.

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Speaker 2: Of all these trips, a particularly bad one. Julia Morris, Well,

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Speaker 2: when I first got to London, I thought I was

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Speaker 2: going to be the biggest superstar London and ever seen.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, standby, I've got the experience, I've got the material,

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Speaker 2: and I've got a massive mouth and here we go

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Speaker 2: go a rocket.

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Speaker 1: Was this so this was on the stand up scene

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Speaker 1: or was this just in the entertainment scene?

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Speaker 2: A little bit of it both. So when I first

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Speaker 2: moved over to London, I went to do the Edinburgh Festival,

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Speaker 2: I thought it fun. I think Australia at the time

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Speaker 2: was starting to there wasn't as many jobs around, so

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Speaker 2: I thought a London be unreal. While I was in London,

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Speaker 2: I was so broke, like so broke. And then a

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Speaker 2: friend of mine was coming from Australia and she said,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be in Paris. Please come to Paris

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Speaker 2: right right, And you know, like I was young enough

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Speaker 2: to not actually tell that person that I couldn't have

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Speaker 2: any money, Say that, isn't that weird? So I thought

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Speaker 2: I'll just yeah, I know, why wouldn't you just say

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Speaker 2: I can't afford it.

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Speaker 1: It's a thing at that age, isn't it. You had

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Speaker 1: that I've ever been traveling and having like twenty dollars

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Speaker 1: in my bank account and then calling my parents and

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Speaker 1: being like, can I have a few one hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: just to get me through until my next send link

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Speaker 1: pavement comes back? And they were like absently.

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Speaker 2: Even then it would have been like a three day

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Speaker 2: turnover till the money could get you. So it's not

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Speaker 2: like instance between accounts like you can.

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Speaker 1: Now, or to people when you're at bars and I

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Speaker 1: remember saying like all the card's broken, and like.

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Speaker 2: It was just oh yeah, it would be like it's

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Speaker 2: food or it's food yeah, whatever tonight is going to be,

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Speaker 2: how tonight is was always sausage roll from seven to

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Speaker 2: eleven or cab home. That was the choice for me

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Speaker 2: at the end of every night. The walk is tough,

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Speaker 2: but I'll get you there. Do Sorry, we have tangent.

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Speaker 2: We've been very tangentle. Julia Morrows. So you're in London

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Speaker 2: and you broke So I sat, okay, we know what

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Speaker 2: I'm going to do. I'm going to get a friend

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Speaker 2: of mine who knows how to do all those really

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Speaker 2: cheap airlines, and they can. I'll give them the money

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Speaker 2: to buy me a ticket, so I bought. It was

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Speaker 2: something like sixty bucks each way sixty pounds each way

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Speaker 2: to fly to Paris Untreal. So I get on the plane.

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Speaker 2: I arrived somewhere called Sneftian, which is nowhere near Paris.

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Speaker 2: So I'm thinking, okay, well this is awkward because the

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Speaker 2: girl's waiting for me in Paris. So I had to

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Speaker 2: find out. I arrived with no cash because in those days,

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Speaker 2: like I'll just ride and take the money out of

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Speaker 2: the bank. There was no bank at the airport. So

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Speaker 2: I got a cab into town, got the money to

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Speaker 2: pay for the fused fancy train, which is the only

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Speaker 2: way that I could get to Paris, which took all

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Speaker 2: of my spending money. So I'd already paid for the hotel.

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Speaker 2: So we get to Paris, and then of course my

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Speaker 2: friend wanted to start to do She's like, let's got

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Speaker 2: the eisfle towel, let's just have an amazing stake. Let's

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Speaker 2: go and do this. And I literally had enough money

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Speaker 2: to only be able to get McDonald's, so I pretended

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Speaker 2: for three days that I had a really bad tummy, oh,

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Speaker 2: and didn't eat, so I'd go.

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Speaker 1: Into eat whither you didn't eat money.

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Speaker 2: And you just said you were sick. Oh, my godness,

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Speaker 2: is so sad.

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Speaker 1: For three days.

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Speaker 2: I ate nothing for three days except when she would

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Speaker 2: go to bed. After walking around Paris, I would then

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Speaker 2: fold out to the McDonald's at the best deal, get

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Speaker 2: to all these patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheek, pickle's, onions

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Speaker 2: on definitly seed plan and eat that, shove it down.

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Speaker 2: And then the next morning I supposedly wake up not

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Speaker 2: feeling No, I don't think I have breakfast, but I'll

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Speaker 2: come and sit with you. Then I had. Then I

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Speaker 2: had the I had the a train you could to

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Speaker 2: get back to Sinnet Chounce, But I didn't know how

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Speaker 2: to read any of that stuff. And it didn't drop

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Speaker 2: me in sinnetcount. It dropped me at like a literally

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Speaker 2: a platform that was a bit of cement in the

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Speaker 2: middle of the country. So on my way back with

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Speaker 2: no options, like I could not miss that flight because

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Speaker 2: I didn't have any money to buy up flight. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't in the days where you could ring anybody and

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Speaker 2: say could you back money? It just wasn't like that

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Speaker 2: you could use your accounts in other countries. And so

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Speaker 2: I got out of the out of a station in

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Speaker 2: verta commerce, sat on the side of the road with

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Speaker 2: my bag and cried. I was by myself. There was

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Speaker 2: like it was literally just a sheet nearby who was

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Speaker 2: very judgy and then probably would have had on pure

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Speaker 2: Australian marino wall. And I see this car in the distance,

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Speaker 2: like it is some sort of film noir. And the

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Speaker 2: car is so far in the distance. I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to help to wait for girl. I don't know

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Speaker 2: where the airport is. The time is running out. I

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Speaker 2: was feeling terribly hopeless, and as it came closer it

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Speaker 2: was it was the Gendarmerie. It was the police, all right.

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Speaker 2: And I was using my broken French to say, I

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Speaker 2: need to I need to pryon. I don't know where,

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Speaker 2: I don't have any money to get there, and so

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Speaker 2: he pumped me in the back of the police cart

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Speaker 2: drops me to the airport. I make it just in

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Speaker 2: time for the flight. The flight drops me in stands dead,

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Speaker 2: which is still a good hour and a half out

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Speaker 2: of London, and I'm still I had to go outside

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Speaker 2: the tube and ask people could I have some coin?

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Speaker 2: Oh god, oh, I mean people are like, excuse me,

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Speaker 2: are you? Are you Julian Morris begging at the station.

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Speaker 2: I am. All I need is the fair to get

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Speaker 2: into town where I can go into my agent's office

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Speaker 2: where they will give me some money. I was also

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Speaker 2: time dependent as to whether I was eating over the

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Speaker 2: weekend or not. It was so hard for but there

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Speaker 2: were a lot of the way.

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Speaker 1: You travel remarkable, traveled into country there and back on

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Speaker 1: like ten dollars on like a.

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Speaker 2: Pretty much Jesus well. I thought that I had more

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Speaker 2: spending money, but the train itself to come up from

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Speaker 2: the little town of Senet up into Paris, it was.

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Speaker 2: It was only enough for a few double patties at

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Speaker 2: night when your friend went to look, I'll probably have

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Speaker 2: to go for the junior burger. I probably.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, that is an amazing story. That is an

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Speaker 1: amazing story, Julia, Thank you so much for Joius. What

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Speaker 1: a cracker.

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Speaker 2: I thought.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going to happen. When the

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Speaker 1: gendarmerie guy rocked up, I thought he was going to

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Speaker 1: take you all the way back to London. I thought

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Speaker 1: you were going to pay.

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Speaker 2: He was going to take me all the way there,

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Speaker 2: But now all going on my work in Borrow.

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Speaker 1: We got to find