1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Does having a job that closely aligns with your personal 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: identity mean that your job has consumed your sense of self? 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 1: That without your job, you are nothing. So many of 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: us strive to find that perfect job, But once we 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 1: get there, do we run the risk of having it 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: become our sole focus to the detriment of everything else 7 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,799 Speaker 1: in our lives. I ask my very close friend Sabina 8 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: Read to join me on deep dive discussion into work 9 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: and identity and try to get to the bottom of this. 10 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,159 Speaker 1: Sabina is a clinical psychologist, a regular contributor on threeaw 11 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:40,480 Speaker 1: and host of the popular podcast Human Cogs. We discuss 12 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: whether or not having a personally aligned career can lead 13 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: to a lack of balance, the benefits of having an 14 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: occupation that aligns with our self identity, and how do 15 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: identify if you are letting your vocation swallow your sense 16 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: of self. Welcome to How I Work, a show about habits, rituals, 17 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,759 Speaker 1: and strategies for optimizing your day. I'm your host, doctor 18 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: Amantha Imber. On today's show, we go back to an 19 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 1: episode from the past and I pick out a quick 20 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: win that you can apply today. So I had expressed 21 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: to Sabina my concern that connecting my identity to my 22 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: career opened me up to disaster if something went wrong 23 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: with my job. Sabina had a surprising counter to that 24 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: fear and a reason for why we maybe don't have 25 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: to worry so much. 26 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 2: I think it will follow me if I'm karaoaking or 27 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 2: flying on a plane. I'm still bringing this to the table. 28 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 2: And so the other question is, and what's wrong with that? 29 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 2: I wanted to play out the pros and the constant strengths, 30 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 2: and the shadow saw it in this. If you know 31 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 2: so many people, I've worked with people around that. I 32 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 2: worked as the ambassador at Seek for seven years, so 33 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 2: I did a lot. I had a lot of conversations 34 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 2: in a lot of forums with people around their career trajectories. 35 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 2: And so many people talk about wanting to find work 36 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 2: that's meaningful, that reflects their values, that's an extension of 37 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 2: who they are, that they feel motivated to get up 38 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 2: in the morning and do that they're not doing to 39 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 2: place someone else. These are all things that I feel 40 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 2: in my work. So I'm asking the universe and you 41 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 2: and myself, why do I need to dial that down? 42 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: Okay? I think there are a couple of reasons. Why. Firstly, 43 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: does it lead to a lack of balance? Like can 44 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: it lead to workaholism? You know, I feel like in 45 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four, I worked more hours than I would 46 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 1: care to admit, and I was very unbalanced, and I 47 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: was most of the time not happy about that, but 48 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: I felt like I had to do it. 49 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 2: Okay, So where we get our energy from? If you're 50 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 2: doing that kind of work and your energy feels depleted, 51 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: and we did a prior app on burnout, so we 52 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 2: know that story. I don't know if I call that 53 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 2: identity alignment with your job. I called that workaholic, and. 54 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,800 Speaker 1: That's what call yeah. 55 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 2: So I think it also depends on how we feel, 56 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 2: how energized we feel doing their work that we do. 57 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 2: But if I'm being really honest, it also depends on 58 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 2: the people who love us most and how they feel 59 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 2: about the work that we. 60 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 1: Do too, That's true. I just feel like there's a 61 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: huge funderability that comes with it. Like I look at 62 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: close friends of mine who have been through job loss 63 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: or retrenchment or you know, any number of those things, 64 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: and you know, I think most people in their lives 65 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: have been through something like that, and you know, the 66 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: ones that I've seen struggle the most are the ones 67 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: that most closely have their self identity aligned to their work. 68 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: You know, I think you know, we talked about it 69 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: in an earlier episode on Burnout just around you know, 70 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: one of my fears last year, you know, going to 71 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: worst case scenarios like what if inventium doesn't exist? Who 72 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: am I without inventingum? And like, yes, I could get 73 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: to the answers, but it wasn't easy. 74 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 2: Why does it have to be? 75 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: I like that you're challenging me. But yeah, I can 76 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: only think of shoulds, like it should be like this, 77 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: or it should be like that, or I should That's 78 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 1: my biggest swear word. You're like I got nothing, I 79 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: got nothing now I got nothing. It's like I should, 80 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,839 Speaker 1: I should have more diversification in my identity. 81 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,480 Speaker 2: I think it's worth really exploring where that should come from, 82 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 2: and if it comes from fear based thinking, which we've 83 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 2: talked about before, because I think I'll be caught out. 84 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 2: You know, I tend to think with an abundant mindset. 85 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 2: I'm not tapping into some area of research in positive psychology, 86 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 2: it's just how I think. So my belief is that 87 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 2: if one door closes, another one will open. I genuinely 88 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 2: believe that, so I don't think as much through that 89 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 2: fear lens. So for now I feel very aligned to 90 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 2: psychological work. And if at some point I can do that, 91 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 2: I'll explore that then, but I won't live in the 92 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 2: wadiffs now around that issue. 93 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: So are you saying then that there is no issue 94 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: having your work? And I'm just. 95 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 2: I think the bit that's the greatest vulnerability. Your potential 96 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 2: pain point is losing sense of self, letting your vocation, 97 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 2: your job, your title, your role swallow you whole. 98 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: How would you know if that's happening, Well, I. 99 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 2: Think you would lose connection with other people, meaningful people 100 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 2: in your in your life, which is a cousin of 101 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 2: workoholism as well. M to understand what is the driver? Here? 102 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 2: Is the driver another hit of dopamine? Or is the driver? 103 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 2: To learn and grow to understand what drives us and 104 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 2: then to think about where else I can honor those I. 105 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 1: Hope you enjoyed this quick win with Savena. If you'd 106 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: like to listen to the full interview, you can find 107 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: a link to that in the show notes. If you 108 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: like today's show. Make sure you git follow on your 109 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 1: podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop. How 110 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,919 Speaker 1: I Work was recorded on the traditional land of the 111 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: Warrengery people, part of the Kulan nation.