1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers? 3 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 2: Now I say it all the time, kids spell love. 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: T I am And now here's the stars of our show, 5 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: my mum and dad. 6 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:19,120 Speaker 2: Hey can I tell you? 7 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:19,439 Speaker 1: Joe? 8 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 3: Shoot? 9 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 2: Knock? Yeah? Hey, nong knock? Jokes? Don't you who's there? 10 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 2: I've done it, I've done up. Who isn't that a 11 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 2: good jokes? 12 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 4: So bad? 13 00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 2: It's such such a show, so juvenile. 14 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,519 Speaker 4: The kids love it, don't they can? 15 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 3: I This is doctor Justin Cilson On, the author of 16 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 3: six books about how to make families happy. Pooh jokes, 17 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 3: Pooh jokes make families happy. Not mums, but everybody else. 18 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 3: And I'm the founder of Happy Families dot com dot 19 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 3: I you who are you? Who am I? 20 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 2: I know who you are? But tell everybody who you are. 21 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 4: I'm Kylie. 22 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 5: You call me missus Happy Families from time to time. 23 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 5: I don't know how happy I am all the time. 24 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 5: And I'm the mum to our six daughters. 25 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 3: Today is I'll do better tomorrow. If you're new to 26 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 3: the podcast. Every Friday we talk about things that we've 27 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 3: learned so that we can parent with better intention. Tomorrow 28 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 3: so that we can be better parents. I don't know, tomorrow, 29 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 3: next week, next time we get the opportunity to be parents. 30 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 3: In five minutes, yeah, as soon as the podcast's over 31 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 3: and were back with the kids again. 32 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 2: Do you want to go first today or you're on 33 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 2: me too? 34 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 5: Oh? Look, I have to share a little thing that 35 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 5: happened last weekend. Yeah, Saturday morning is our family cleanup. 36 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 4: We spend some time cleaning up and at the. 37 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 2: Moment, don't the kids love it? 38 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 4: By the way, yeah, that's a whole nother story. 39 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 5: But anyway, we've had a lot of rain lately where 40 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 5: we live, and our garden is overgrown with weeds, and 41 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 5: so the last few weekends in particular, we've spent some 42 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 5: time out in the garden. Miss seven burst into our 43 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 5: bedroom at six am. I wasn't even oh I probably 44 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 5: was awake, only just, but I was still on my bed, 45 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 5: and she said, Mummy, Mommy, have I missed weeding? 46 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 4: It's like no, not at six o'clock in the morning. 47 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 5: Yea, And she said, oh, few, that's my favorite. 48 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 2: Wow. 49 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 4: At least one of us likes weeding. 50 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 51 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, we love to get into the garden and weed. 52 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 3: I think I'm going to have to buy some spray. 53 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,519 Speaker 3: I know that's bad for the environment, bad for everything, 54 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 3: but I'm sick of spending my Saturday mornings weeding we had. 55 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 2: I'm going to go with older better tomorrow. 56 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 3: First, I had just another reminder of how sometimes just 57 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 3: getting out one on one with the kids is hugely, 58 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 3: hugely important. So one of the kids had a birthday 59 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 3: just the other day. She turned eleven, very excited that 60 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 3: she's not a teenager and not a teenager anymore, but 61 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 3: she was having a kind of a so so day. 62 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 2: I had stacks on. 63 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 3: As much as I wanted to be fully available for 64 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 3: her here, it just wasn't going to happen. You were 65 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 3: flooded with more to do than was possible. And it's 66 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,839 Speaker 3: one of those things, right, this is the reality of life. 67 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 3: We're supposed to be available and attentive to our children. 68 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 3: We're supposed to well you and I I'm like, you know, 69 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 3: I'm the expert. We're supposed to absolutely get this right. 70 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 3: And it just was working out for her. So she 71 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 3: came to me miserable, and I was so grateful that 72 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 3: she did, and that she could put her arms around 73 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 3: me and explain what was going on, and I said, okay, 74 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 3: well after dinner, what about if I take you out? 75 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 3: So he jumped in the car. I said, where do 76 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 3: you want to go? She said, let's go get some 77 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 3: ice cream. I said, okay, ice cream it is. 78 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 2: We went to Cold Rock ice Creamery. And because I'm 79 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 2: a bit stingy, I really. 80 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 3: Don't like going to these ice cream shops where you 81 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 3: kind of pay about eight bucks for a scoop of 82 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:25,119 Speaker 3: ice cream. 83 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 4: Even if you can get a leader of ice cream for. 84 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 3: That, that's right, you can too, of the high quality stuff. 85 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 3: You can go and get the very best ice cream 86 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 3: for about eight dollars for a leader. And here I 87 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 3: am getting a scoop with a few mix ins, and 88 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 3: so we've walked in. I ordered, actually, let me tell you, 89 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 3: I ordered lemon sawbet with a raphae yellow white chocolate 90 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 3: mixed into it and some passion fruit. 91 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 2: It was amazing. 92 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,839 Speaker 5: She ordered this sounds like all of your favorite things, yes, 93 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 5: into one little car. 94 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 2: I was in heaven. Anyway. 95 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 3: She ordered this bubblegum ice cream with all the sour 96 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 3: and herds and all that sort of stuff, and she 97 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,640 Speaker 3: asked her she could try mine. I'm like, ah, it's 98 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 3: lemon sawbet she's not gonna like that. She had one 99 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 3: bite and her eyes lit up and she's like. 100 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 2: Oh, can I have yours? 101 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 3: No, So I had to share my ice cream with her. 102 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 3: I gave her about half of my lemon saw bases. 103 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 4: It's her birthday. 104 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 2: It was her birthday. 105 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 4: I'm guessing you didn't eat the rainbow and nerds. 106 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: No. 107 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 2: Then I ate half of hers. 108 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 3: But what was so cool about it is there was 109 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 3: just this beautiful genuineness. There was this sharing, and it 110 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 3: reminded me again of I love these kids so much, 111 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 3: And it reminded me again of why it's so important 112 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 3: that we have that one on one time. I say 113 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 3: it all the time, kids spelled love t im e 114 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 3: dollars of the currency of our economy. Connection is the 115 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 3: currency of our relationships. I walked out of her and thought, 116 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 3: I really hated spending. I think it was seventeen bucks 117 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 3: for two ice creams, Like I just killed me. 118 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,440 Speaker 2: I was like, no, who does this? 119 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 3: And yet I reckon if it cost me seventeen a 120 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 3: week to have an experience like that once a week 121 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 3: with each of the kids, I'd do it. I'd have 122 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,279 Speaker 3: to work out a lot harder in the gym to 123 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 3: get over it. 124 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 2: But I would do it. 125 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 3: That's such a small price to pay for such beautiful connection. 126 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 3: Don't need to have ice cream to make the connection, 127 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 3: but just a really beautiful experience made me grateful for 128 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 3: the kids, made me grateful to be a parent, and 129 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 3: I thought, Yeah, next week, I've got to make sure 130 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 3: that I do this with one of the other kids 131 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 3: as well. 132 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 2: It's special. 133 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 5: Maybe this time you might go and do something active 134 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 5: instead of scoffing down some ice cream. 135 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 3: Maybe we can do both. Let's find out about your 136 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 3: I'll do Better Tomorrow. 137 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: Next, it's the Happy Famili's podcast. 138 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,359 Speaker 2: For a happier family. 139 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 5: Try a Happy Families membership, because a happy family doesn't 140 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 5: just happen. 141 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot au. 142 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for a time 143 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we 144 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 5: are talking about reflections on our week. 145 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 4: I'll do better tomorrow. 146 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 3: How can we be better parents and learn from what's 147 00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 3: happened this week so that we can do more of 148 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 3: the goods or less of the bad stuff. I've shared mine, 149 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 3: what's yours? 150 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 5: Look, It's no secret I am one of those parents 151 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 5: who often will just do everything myself because it's just easier. 152 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 5: I don't have to go back and repeat what the 153 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 5: kids have done because they haven't done a. 154 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 4: Good enough job right. And then I'm left feeling. 155 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,280 Speaker 5: Frustrated because there's not enough hours in the day to 156 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 5: do it all, not even close. And so the other 157 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 5: day I was feeling a little bit swamped and there 158 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 5: was a lot to do. There's a lot of bodies 159 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,599 Speaker 5: in the house, and so the house was just not 160 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 5: up to scratch. But I had an appointment that I 161 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 5: had to go to, which meant that the kids, if 162 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 5: I left them to their own devices, would literally be 163 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 5: on devices. And so I said to them, girls, today 164 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 5: is a bit of a cleaning up day, and unfortunately 165 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 5: I have an appointment to go to. But I've written 166 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 5: a list of all the things that need to be done, 167 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 5: and I would just love it if while I'm gone, 168 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 5: you work on that list. So I didn't hand out 169 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 5: any assignments. There was just a list to be done. 170 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 5: I was actually really blow and away I came home. 171 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 5: Not only was their absolute peace in the house. I 172 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:09,480 Speaker 5: couldn't believe they were all engaged in doing a job. 173 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 3: Wow, Wow, they were all engaged. 174 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 5: And when I asked our seven year old whether or 175 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 5: not she'd been helpful, fully expecting that she would have 176 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 5: just done her own thing, gone off and played in 177 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 5: the garden, she said, no, I've been helping Annie. So 178 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 5: Annie had been taking her around and actually helping her 179 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 5: do jobs as part of the process. 180 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,119 Speaker 4: My list had gone. 181 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 5: They'd probably done about a third of the things off 182 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 5: the list, and I was just really proud of them. 183 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 3: So what's to take home message? Go out more and 184 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 3: leave the kids in charge. Is that what you're saying, 185 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 3: because that's a bit of a one off. I don't 186 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 3: remember that happening before. 187 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 5: No, it doesn't happen very often at all. What it 188 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 5: allowed me to reflect on is the fact that if 189 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 5: we don't give our children opportunities to surprise us, they 190 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 5: never will. 191 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 2: Ah beautiful. 192 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 3: And the other thing that I take from that is 193 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 3: that it does get easier for any parents who are 194 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 3: listening in. Your parents have little kids, and you think thinking, 195 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 3: oh my goodness, this is just driving me and say 196 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 3: one of the kids to do anything. They actually start 197 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 3: to when you give them those opportunities, particularly as they 198 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 3: get older. We really hope that you've enjoyed the Happy 199 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 3: Families podcast and that it helps you to do things 200 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 3: in your family that will strengthen your family. We just 201 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 3: hope that it makes a difference. The Happy Family's podcast 202 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 3: is produced by Justin Ruland for Bridge Media. 203 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Have a great weekend.