Speaker 1: Flex and Froods on Cada.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the podcast qtsqu TETs.
Speaker 3: I want to talk to you about loyalty tests on TikTok.
Speaker 3: I came across it in this advice thread and read it.
Speaker 3: But also I made a point when we were discussing
Speaker 3: the TikTok, I saw where this guy was like, should
Speaker 3: women be reimbursing men for failed dates?
Speaker 2: Kind?
Speaker 3: To that point, I was like, just everyone just needs
Speaker 3: to stop dating at this point, there's so much like politics,
Speaker 3: not even politics, but friction around it, and people aren't
Speaker 3: making it a pleasant environment to do it in.
Speaker 2: Let's just stop. I think it's post pandemic. People don't
Speaker 2: know how to hate being a scam manger, fear monger.
Speaker 4: I like scare monger that that's good.
Speaker 2: Every time I try to add a new world to
Speaker 2: my vocabulary, it all goes downhill. No, I think I
Speaker 2: think it's part of like not having dated for a
Speaker 2: long time, we feel socially anxious. We A don't want
Speaker 2: to spend money, B don't want to spend time. We
Speaker 2: don't want to feel uncomfortable. It's like how nobody wants
Speaker 2: to take a phone call anymore. Extends to dating. With
Speaker 2: out of practice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if that's the case, then I wish people
Speaker 3: would overcorrect and just be people pleasers. You know. I
Speaker 3: just feel like the conversation around fifty to fifty or
Speaker 3: the expenses involved around dating are just so dumb because
Speaker 3: you can enjoy yourself as well, Like, you're not paying
Speaker 3: the money just for the benefit of the other person.
Speaker 3: You're facilitating an experience. It's fun for everybody involved. Don't
Speaker 3: you want to do that totally?
Speaker 2: It's like if you pay for someone's if you go
Speaker 2: up someone and you pay for the whole bill, you
Speaker 2: gotta remind yourself. I ate too, Yeah, paying for myself as.
Speaker 4: Well outside the dating context.
Speaker 3: If we're going out to dinner and I pay because
Speaker 3: I want to or it's easier, it's because I'm excited
Speaker 3: to have shared an experience with you. I'm excited to
Speaker 3: have done this. It's fully worthwhile. I understand where that
Speaker 3: gets a bit difficult when you are a serial data
Speaker 3: and you are racking up a tab. But if you're
Speaker 3: actually taking out someone you like, then what is the issue,
Speaker 3: do you know? I think it all boils down to
Speaker 3: you don't like the people that you're trying to date.
Speaker 2: Totally. I went on the date on a date last
Speaker 2: year and we went to a lovely restaurant, and he said,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't go on many dates. It's my
Speaker 2: first date in a long time, and I'm really glad
Speaker 2: I'm here with you. And sure there was only two
Speaker 2: dates in total. He might have felt Jimmed.
Speaker 4: Not your problem, though, but it was.
Speaker 2: Lovely and I was not sweet. That felt like I
Speaker 2: was treated and it was enjoyed, and I was in
Speaker 2: a good mood. Therefore the date was especially good.
Speaker 4: Period. Remember when we discussed swiper's remorse, where you.
Speaker 3: Swipe someone, match with them and then you're like, ah,
Speaker 3: I don't think I like the way they look that much.
Speaker 3: Or at worse, you swipe someone, you match with them,
Speaker 3: you talk with them and agree to go on a
Speaker 3: date with them, and when that time comes.
Speaker 4: You're like, I don't think I want to do that.
Speaker 3: I feel like this all boils down to the same thing.
Speaker 3: We're not picking people we actually want to date. I
Speaker 3: feel like this idea of like.
Speaker 4: Where do we go?
Speaker 3: Like coffee date's too casual, this date's too These things
Speaker 3: don't matter. When you actually like the person you spend
Speaker 3: time with, it's hard.
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of it's social anxiety. I
Speaker 2: think often you can be like, oh no, I really
Speaker 2: really don't want to go, and you really feel that
Speaker 2: you don't want to go, and then you go and
Speaker 2: you enjoy it, So therefore it's just social anxiety.
Speaker 3: Yes, But do you feel that way when you're going
Speaker 3: to back to go hand with your best friends?
Speaker 2: Sometimes if feel so socially anxious, Oh that's strange, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry. Remember I'm never talking about myself, I'm talking
Speaker 2: about everyone.
Speaker 3: Else other way around. Yeah, I know, but I do. Yes,
Speaker 3: social anxiety is super valid. But I feel like, let's
Speaker 3: say you get approached by someone you are super interested in,
Speaker 3: super attracted to. They're ticking so many boxes at that moment,
Speaker 3: you're not like, I'm not doing fifty to fifty, Like
Speaker 3: you'll do what's required to spend time with that person.
Speaker 3: Granted it's not so far out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 3: So even before, when people are hypothetically thinking about what
Speaker 3: they would or wouldn't do on a date, and they
Speaker 3: always skew so negative, you don't want to date that adlete.
Speaker 3: It's just because you're not seeing it as an enjoyable
Speaker 3: thing to do. You're not excited about the possibility, and
Speaker 3: even the outcome of potential romance is not enough for
Speaker 3: you to invest twenty bucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I think what as a means to an
Speaker 2: end where you often just need to enjoy yourself because
Speaker 2: you'll find somebody, don't.
Speaker 4: Lie to them.
Speaker 3: But yes, like I was saying, there are these things
Speaker 3: on TikTok called loyalty tests where conventionally attractive people offer
Speaker 3: up their likeness and their face and they chat to
Speaker 3: your significant other to see if your significant other is
Speaker 3: going to be loyal to you. So what I would do,
Speaker 3: for example, I would say, hello, handsome person, handsome woman, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I guess can you dare my boyfriend and flat with
Speaker 3: him and arrange to meet up or arrange to hook
Speaker 3: up and see what he says? And so this person
Speaker 3: will then screenshot all the evidence and send it to
Speaker 3: you so you can see what they do or don't do.
Speaker 3: And most people do quite poorly from what I've seen
Speaker 3: on TikTok, But I guess if they do well, that
Speaker 3: video is not gonna go viral, you know.
Speaker 2: And I'm sorry, but if you are trying, if you're
Speaker 2: paying someone to do that, obviously something's wrong in your relationship.
Speaker 2: The likelihood that they're going to follow through and be like, yes,
Speaker 2: let's root is far higher than someone who's not going
Speaker 2: to go to those lengths exactly.
Speaker 3: And also there's been discussion of this idea of testing
Speaker 3: someone in a romantic dynamic. Is it just manipulative? Are
Speaker 3: you pushing someone towards an outcome that's not desirable anyway,
Speaker 3: there was this girl that mentioned that she does this
Speaker 3: thing called the Coraline test on't with people that she's seeing,
Speaker 3: where she says very early on that her favorite movie
Speaker 3: is Coraline. And she says, nine times out of ten,
Speaker 3: these men are like, oh my god, I love that movie.
Speaker 4: I love Tim.
Speaker 3: Burton, It's amazing, It's so good. It's my favorite too.
Speaker 3: They like over enthuse how much they also love Coraline.
Speaker 3: Then when they go out on their first day, when
Speaker 3: they hang out at each other's house for the first time,
Speaker 3: she always plays Coraline to see how they respond. Do
Speaker 3: they recognize the movie? Are they like, do they look enthused?
Speaker 3: Is everything a surprise to them? Are they like actually
Speaker 3: engaged in it or not? And she says often they're not.
Speaker 3: They just said it to give this illusion that we
Speaker 3: like the same things when in reality they don't. Now,
Speaker 3: she got a lot of backlash on the intern because
Speaker 3: they were like, what were you expecting? Though, I could
Speaker 3: rewatch a movie I've already seen before and not be
Speaker 3: interested because I've seen it.
Speaker 4: And also watching a movie on a day is silly.
Speaker 4: It's not to watch the movie.
Speaker 3: I'm here to hang out with you, So why are
Speaker 3: you testing me on how interested I am?
Speaker 4: The thinking abot, I'm not here to be interested in.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, if you're wanting to test someone, you're totally
Speaker 2: coming from the perspective of wanting to find something, wanting
Speaker 2: to get them found out.
Speaker 4: It's a setup.
Speaker 3: Is can you think of any scenarios where it is
Speaker 3: appropriate and also best case scenario to test someone?
Speaker 2: I think it's fun to like do that test if
Speaker 2: you're engaged to someone. Oh, it's like a good natured test. Yeah,
Speaker 2: where it's like the Hens Night or whatever, and you
Speaker 2: have to do it like study. You have to do
Speaker 2: a test of like how much do.
Speaker 3: You know your like paw TikTok when they're like girls
Speaker 3: Hens Nights are doing how well do you know your
Speaker 3: partner quiz? And men's wanted to like let's get to it.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's a little bit late to be
Speaker 3: doing those tests.
Speaker 2: Maybe, Oh, can I think of a test that makes
Speaker 2: sense that's fair. I can't really think of one. I
Speaker 2: just don't like the idea of tests generally, because you're
Speaker 2: just expecting them to fail. Every test is a test
Speaker 2: of something. Why should you need to be testing anything?
Speaker 3: Just test such fun and theory until you find out
Speaker 3: that you've been tested. Like what if somebody gives you
Speaker 3: feedback and says, you know, like I thought it was
Speaker 3: gonna go well, but I was testing you and you
Speaker 3: didn't pass, I'd be like what.
Speaker 2: It's almost like remembering those teen movies, just like I
Speaker 2: bet you can get that girl to hang out with
Speaker 2: you because she's ugly, and then you do, and then
Speaker 2: you fall in love with her.
Speaker 4: Awful whoa. But like sweet means to an end is
Speaker 4: not means to an end.
Speaker 3: Foreshore point remains, And I definitely think that we'll get
Speaker 3: to that part in dating discourse, because you know, there
Speaker 3: are certain community who were like, I'm just gonna be
Speaker 3: celibate or whatever. But that's in spite of their natural wants. Right,
Speaker 3: It's like you're not finding anyone you want to route.
Speaker 3: Therefore you're saying a celibate. You know you're not doing
Speaker 3: it for any spiritual reason.
Speaker 2: Five steps to in cell or one step in them.
Speaker 4: Cell fleck and froms flexy mummy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you have a blanky that you sleep with?
Speaker 3: I absolutely do not this concept even I don't even
Speaker 3: know if I knew what it was until. I wouldn't
Speaker 3: say recently. But I've seen a few cooked tiktoks of
Speaker 3: people and their raggedy, rinky dink, tattered blankie letting go.
Speaker 2: It's discussed.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's like a cultural thing I'm missing though.
Speaker 2: Do you reckon?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like what culture?
Speaker 4: Caucasian?
Speaker 2: Oh, Caucasian culture. My people apparently blank He's often referred
Speaker 2: to as comfort objects, and they're more than just blankets.
Speaker 2: Here's the definition. A comfort object or transitional object or
Speaker 2: security blanket is an item used to provide psychological comfort,
Speaker 2: especially in unusual or unique situations or at bedtime for children.
Speaker 2: Among toddlers. Comfort objects may take the form of a blanket,
Speaker 2: a stuffed animal, or a favorite toy, and it may
Speaker 2: be referred to as nicknames, but adults also use comfort objects.
Speaker 2: Many adults consider that comfort and security blankets provide are
Speaker 2: essential and according to a study in twenty eleven in Britain,
Speaker 2: thirty five percent of adults slope at the Teddy Bear.
Speaker 4: Thirty five What is that sample size? Like three people?
Speaker 2: Oh, it's by like a real crap. It's like by
Speaker 2: a brand.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's not to be trusted.
Speaker 2: But there's been another builder. Bear also did a study
Speaker 2: and forty percent of adults, which I know they have
Speaker 2: a cut in that they want us.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they want Yeah.
Speaker 3: I understand it. Not even in theory and practice. I
Speaker 3: totally get it. But it's just seeing the state of
Speaker 3: some of these tattered, raggedy They're not being washed, they're
Speaker 3: not being kept after they were conceptualized. It's like these
Speaker 3: beautiful white stuffed animals sixteen years it's gone by their
Speaker 3: olive green with a tinge of brown.
Speaker 4: What is happening? I don't get it.
Speaker 2: It's called there's this famous fairy tale called the Velveteen Rabbit.
Speaker 2: It's about this boy at Christmas gets all these gifts
Speaker 2: and he gets this rabbit, and he plays with the
Speaker 2: rabbit for like a day and then gets over excessible
Speaker 2: these shiny toys. Then he ends up loving it. Till
Speaker 2: it's tattered.
Speaker 4: What is the moral of the story.
Speaker 2: I couldn't tell you. I get to sleep before the end.
Speaker 2: FLEXI I have a confession to make.
Speaker 4: Struggling to get it out. Now, what is it?
Speaker 2: I have a comfort object? Yeah, otherwise known as a blanky.
Speaker 2: What does it look like?
Speaker 4: You don't have any visuals?
Speaker 2: I thought about it before I came in, Like, damn,
Speaker 2: I should have brought it with me.
Speaker 4: Like it doesn't do photo ops.
Speaker 2: It's a nighty with kind of an eighty style print.
Speaker 2: It's got parrots and like blues and greens, and it's
Speaker 2: really silky. And I sleep with it every night I
Speaker 2: go to sleep, get my Heiti weedy, put it between
Speaker 2: my legs. Grab mother.
Speaker 3: Even when you're doing sleepovers at other people's houses, do
Speaker 3: you take with No?
Speaker 4: Do you sleep poorly without it? No?
Speaker 2: No, No, it's not that bad. And like if I
Speaker 2: have someone coming up, I'm putting it in a drawer.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I forget it. Sometimes I forget it and then
Speaker 2: seen under the pillow, it's a bit of a scary
Speaker 2: kind of look. But my blankie is the nighty that
Speaker 2: my mum gave birth to me in. Oh disgusting isn't it.
Speaker 4: That's sweet though, that's sentimental.
Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 4: Why have you kept it?
Speaker 3: I can imagine over the course of your life there
Speaker 3: are tons of things you were given and gifted for
Speaker 3: various reasons, a little a Barbie Dolla truck, a book
Speaker 3: that you really loved. What is it about this blankie
Speaker 3: that you've kept? Why not just give it back to
Speaker 3: your mum?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: I think it's a few things. I'm very close to
Speaker 2: my mum and I don't find her gross shout to other.
Speaker 2: A lot of people in this world gross me out,
Speaker 2: poor hygiene, smelly, grotty. My mum is none of those things.
Speaker 2: And you know, you often love the smell of a
Speaker 2: parent like you love the smell of your mum. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And so there's that. And then also just the feel
Speaker 2: of the blanky. It's soft, silk style thing. It feels
Speaker 2: good against my face. And I've always been a blanky bitch.
Speaker 2: When I was a kid, I used to suck my
Speaker 2: fingers upside down and hold the blanky in the thumb.
Speaker 3: So the best way to describe it is holding your
Speaker 3: fingers like a trigger yep, and then putting the pad
Speaker 3: of your fingers to the roof of your mouth while
Speaker 3: holding a blanky with your thumb.
Speaker 4: This is obscene, obscene.
Speaker 2: And it got so bad when I was a little
Speaker 2: kid that I went to the dentist and they said,
Speaker 2: sir and ma'am, if your child does not get the
Speaker 2: fingers out of her mouth, she's gonna have buck teeth.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because you push your your teeth forward.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you could really tell on people didn't wean themselves
Speaker 3: off the dummy. Yeah, it's giving cletus so much so
Speaker 3: they had to put this spray on my fingers that
Speaker 3: would make it smell bad so I'd stop doing this.
Speaker 3: I'm still not understanding the blanky thing, because again, there
Speaker 3: are heaps no, no, no, there are heaps of things that
Speaker 3: you would have been given that you'd have an emotional
Speaker 3: attachment to that you don't.
Speaker 4: Sleep with every night.
Speaker 2: It's just it's the it's the sense. It hits so
Speaker 2: many senses, smell, touch, longevity.
Speaker 4: Do you do something animals too?
Speaker 2: No? If I do a heaty weaty between my legs.
Speaker 5: What is a heaty weaty like a heat bag, a
Speaker 5: hot water bottle? Yeah, but a heaty weedty yeah? Wow,
Speaker 5: So I think a lot most of my good girlfriends.
Speaker 5: I've come to the house and I see a little
Speaker 5: stuffed animal on the bit.
Speaker 2: Really huh.
Speaker 4: I'm not judging. I'm just observing and wincing.
Speaker 2: I think it's got to do with living in another state,
Speaker 2: because all my girlfriends that have that are from interstate.
Speaker 2: What stay perfect Victoria? Okay, scattered scattered energies across Australia,
Speaker 2: So you don't know. Like the thing is there are
Speaker 2: comfort objects beyond, like blankies or teddy bears, Like, what's
Speaker 2: something you use every day?
Speaker 4: My phone?
Speaker 2: Your phone is your comfort object? Yeah, I reckon, don't
Speaker 2: look it. You can't look it? Yeay. Lip Barm's your thing.
Speaker 2: Flex you told me your story the other day. She
Speaker 2: actually left a cinema mid movie. Yeah, to go to
Speaker 2: some sort of pharmacy. I'm not going to name drop
Speaker 2: to get lip barm and I'd do it again. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: This is flex and frooms.
Speaker 3: It's not an episode of flex and frooms. That me
Speaker 3: referencing TikTok and something I've learned from it.
Speaker 4: Listen to this.
Speaker 6: Something I read about for my latest book called the
Speaker 6: Zigonic Effect, which is waiters remember bills that are left
Speaker 6: open but the second they close the bill, they forget it.
Speaker 6: When a task is left unfinished, it creates like a
Speaker 6: mental load and stress. And people now when studying are
Speaker 6: trying to study a bit, go do something else, come
Speaker 6: back and then study the rest. They leave that loop opened.
Speaker 6: I can imagine for yourself that if you've operated on someone,
Speaker 6: you've opened a loop, and now you are supposed to
Speaker 6: go home and sleep and not think about the outcome
Speaker 6: of that, and oh, just go home and be find me.
Speaker 6: We're not going to see if seven hours. But all
Speaker 6: these open loops. The person you removed, you know, colon,
Speaker 6: the other person who did this suddenly, you know, you
Speaker 6: go into work the next day. How did that guy do?
Speaker 6: Is he right? Do you get that kind of feedback.
Speaker 7: From yeah, I mean all the time. So literally, yesterday
Speaker 7: I had an orday operating list where I was operating
Speaker 7: with one of my bosses and we removed a bowel
Speaker 7: cancer on the left side of their colon, and I
Speaker 7: stitched the colon back onto the colon like two pipes,
Speaker 7: stitched them back together and all went really well. Patient
Speaker 7: was fine at the end of the operation. I saw
Speaker 7: them afterwards. It were fine. But there's something when you
Speaker 7: do bowl cancer operations and you remove the cancer and
Speaker 7: the intestine, and then you join the two remaining cut
Speaker 7: ends of the intensin back together. There's one risk we
Speaker 7: always warned patients about, and that risk could be anywhere
Speaker 7: from four percent to ten percent. There's a risk of
Speaker 7: something called an anastematic leak. Well, the intestines can just
Speaker 7: come apart, the stitches come apart, and they leak, and
Speaker 7: they leak shit into the abdomen, and obviously you can
Speaker 7: die if you're shit's leaking to jaipim. You don't need
Speaker 7: to be medical to know that. So that is a
Speaker 7: risk that could happen for anywhere from day one after
Speaker 7: the operation to day five, six seven. So until this
Speaker 7: patient goes home, I'm going to be thinking in the
Speaker 7: back of my mind I put those stitches in his colon.
Speaker 7: So actually, you know, this morning, before I came here,
Speaker 7: I texted someone who's working right now and is reviewing
Speaker 7: that patient on a ward round, just saying how is he?
Speaker 7: You know, and I shouldn't be doing that colon.
Speaker 3: I didn't have to play that whole TikTok, but I
Speaker 3: thought you'd be an enjoyable thing for all of us
Speaker 3: to experience. So basically, what the zygonic effect is is
Speaker 3: the idea that once you start a task, a loop
Speaker 3: has been started, or you've you've essentially started something that
Speaker 3: needs to be wrapped up for your brain to stop
Speaker 3: thinking about it. And generally we go about our day
Speaker 3: starting a bunch of things and not thinking about it
Speaker 3: and having ongoing cumulative anxiety about it and not recognizing why.
Speaker 3: And so when we talk about productivity, there's a lot
Speaker 3: of discussion around how multitasking is like either good or
Speaker 3: bad or whatever it might be, But that is secondary
Speaker 3: to the fact that in order to clear yourself of
Speaker 3: the anxiety or the thoughts associated with something, you need
Speaker 3: to close the loop. And so, you know, I don't
Speaker 3: know how many people can integrate this into their daily
Speaker 3: lives effectively because we aren't in control of when things
Speaker 3: are done. Like I do this thing very frequently when
Speaker 3: I hate email threads, Like I will get an email,
Speaker 3: respond to the first thread, and then clear it out
Speaker 3: of my inbox.
Speaker 4: It's done for me, and.
Speaker 3: Then I just ignore the following emails what are you amazing?
Speaker 4: It just happens because I want off my to do list.
Speaker 3: I don't want to think about it, and so I
Speaker 3: actually use I don't use Gmail. I use this like
Speaker 3: email software where you can like. It calls your inbox
Speaker 3: a trio, so you're meant to just clear things out
Speaker 3: of your inbox and get to zero. So if I've
Speaker 3: answered an email, I'll clear it and it's done. Out
Speaker 3: of my head. If I leave things there, then every
Speaker 3: time I go into my Gmail, I'm looking at things
Speaker 3: that I'm half dealt with, half not. It's not my problem.
Speaker 3: If I've answered the email.
Speaker 2: You need to do the archive.
Speaker 4: I don't know. We'll talk about this. I don't know
Speaker 4: how to archive.
Speaker 2: You send it archive and then when they respond, it
Speaker 2: comes back into your inbox.
Speaker 3: It's fascinating, the zygonic effect. I don't know how that's
Speaker 3: going to help us, but proves a point. So long
Speaker 3: as you don't close a loop, you'll be thinking about something.
Speaker 3: So all this unfinished business that happens in your life,
Speaker 3: be like, oh, I'll just get over that it.
Speaker 4: Nope, Nope.
Speaker 2: My strategy is for dealing with that. Some of them
Speaker 2: I haven't employed yet. I'm just thinking of them. Off
Speaker 2: the door, off the dome, create space during my day
Speaker 2: to do certain things.
Speaker 4: So for us.
Speaker 2: We both do different things. I'm a writer, I make videos.
Speaker 2: I deal with client things. So then I'm going to
Speaker 2: start making little blocks in my day where I can
Speaker 2: dedicate to like writing from twelve to one, and that's
Speaker 2: a way for me to then wipe it because I
Speaker 2: know I've done it, and I know there'll be a
Speaker 2: time tomorrow for me to do it. I get anxious
Speaker 2: when it's like I started this thing and a I
Speaker 2: need to wait for people to respond. And also I
Speaker 2: don't know what I'm going to get around to doing
Speaker 2: it again. Like I've started making this concept for like
Speaker 2: a funny video. I don't know what I'm going to
Speaker 2: do it next because I have a sty you know.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so I can't do it till the star's gone.
Speaker 2: But I don't know when the star's going to go away.
Speaker 4: It's looking good. I didn't even gube.
Speaker 1: Now you're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kada May.
Speaker 4: Oh my, it's Flex and Frooms. We're back. Did you
Speaker 4: miss us?
Speaker 3: I missed us, same as always, Thank you, av Nishe.
Speaker 3: We have a doozy of a show today. We're going
Speaker 3: to be answering the age old question, and by age old,
Speaker 3: I mean, it's a question that I came across recently,
Speaker 3: and that is, when talking about heterosexual couples, do women
Speaker 3: owe men money.
Speaker 4: For failed dates? Controversial?
Speaker 2: But right now, Flix, did you know that in Texas
Speaker 2: it's illegal to have more than six sex toys? What
Speaker 2: we mean illegal is literally you can get fined for
Speaker 2: having more than six.
Speaker 3: How they going to find out sex toys? Well, who's
Speaker 3: in my data? My FBI agent's titchers.
Speaker 2: They're watching The Little Love. So basically, here is what
Speaker 2: it says. In nineteen seventy three, the Texas legislature passed
Speaker 2: Section forty three point twenty one of the Texas Penal Code,
Speaker 2: quite amply named, which in part prohibited the sale or
Speaker 2: promotion of obscene devices, being defined as a device, including
Speaker 2: a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful
Speaker 2: primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs. However, the
Speaker 2: legislation was updated in two thousand and three. Nice a
Speaker 2: person who commits an offense, if, knowing its content and character,
Speaker 2: wholesale promotes or possesses with intent to wholesale promote any
Speaker 2: obscene material or device. So essentially, you can't wholesale sexual
Speaker 2: devices in Texas unless it's for medical or law enforcement purposes. Wow,
Speaker 2: which is bizarre, especially considering in Texas there's absolutely no
Speaker 2: limit how many guns you can have.
Speaker 4: And there it is there.
Speaker 2: It is so much so that there's this group called
Speaker 2: Cox not Glocks, which last year stage and anti campus
Speaker 2: carry gun law rally because I thought that's completely ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Also Alabama has a similar thing. So we can just
Speaker 2: be thankful that we are across the gulf.
Speaker 4: I mean for now. Oh don't's a bit like that,
Speaker 4: isn't it.
Speaker 1: This is flex and frooms.
Speaker 4: Listen to this really quickly. So ladies, you guys a question.
Speaker 8: Okay, Let's say you go on a date with a
Speaker 8: man and then after the date you realize you're not
Speaker 8: really feeling him the way you thought you did before
Speaker 8: the date. Now, he didn't do anything wrong, he's not
Speaker 8: a creep, he didn't make you feel unsafe.
Speaker 4: You know, he didn't do anything wrong. You just weren't
Speaker 4: feeling him.
Speaker 8: Do you think it would be a fair thing to
Speaker 8: do to give him back his money that he spent
Speaker 8: for the date?
Speaker 4: Do you think that would be an okay thing to do?
Speaker 4: Yes or no?
Speaker 2: Stitch this and tell me, let's stitch it and tell him.
Speaker 3: I made the conscious effort not to put any context
Speaker 3: around that video, so I wasn't, you know, informing anyone's
Speaker 3: idea or whether that's appropriate or inappropriate. But that was
Speaker 3: a TikTok from Cameron Steel Radio, who is asking a
Speaker 3: very apt question. When it comes to heterosexual courting. There's
Speaker 3: been a lot of rhetoric in the dating scene about
Speaker 3: how women historically spend more money than men when it
Speaker 3: comes to dating.
Speaker 4: And that's not physically on the.
Speaker 3: Dates, but all the preps that goes in and around it,
Speaker 3: whether that's wearing clothes.
Speaker 4: I gotta say it like that, doing makeup, like.
Speaker 3: All the kind of maintenance and grooming that is not
Speaker 3: explicitly asked for but expected. People getting Brazilian waxes and
Speaker 3: got a longing for that.
Speaker 4: I personally am showing up.
Speaker 3: Like just regular and she's styles.
Speaker 4: Did I say my legs?
Speaker 3: No? Absolutely, it's no, But that's me and I can
Speaker 3: understand why others don't feel the same. This guy's posed
Speaker 3: a really interesting question off the dome.
Speaker 4: Yes or no?
Speaker 3: Do women or should women reimburse men for failed dates?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, because there's no such thing as a failed date. Oh,
Speaker 2: every date is an opportunity to learn that you're a
Speaker 2: dickad you know what I mean. You go on a
Speaker 2: date with somebody, they're boring, they don't continue conversations, they
Speaker 2: don't ask you questions. Yeah, you can pay for my
Speaker 2: two hundred dollar year.
Speaker 3: It am comes back to fifty to fifty, Like whether
Speaker 3: you want to, they're saying fifty to fifty reimbursement.
Speaker 4: You're not my tax man, get out of here, as.
Speaker 2: In, you wouldn't want to pay fifty to fifty.
Speaker 3: Well, I think like internet discourse always goes back to
Speaker 3: the idea of paying fifty to fifty, Like, we are
Speaker 3: fifty to fifty as people, so what we do together
Speaker 3: on this date should be done fifty to fifty. I
Speaker 3: have different thoughts about the whole fifty to fifty thing.
Speaker 3: I say no, because why are we using the phrase
Speaker 3: reimbursement when it comes to casually dating. Here's the thing
Speaker 3: I feel like, fifty to fifty. I don't really care
Speaker 3: how you want to do that, whether you are for
Speaker 3: it or against it. I just think it's up to
Speaker 3: you to, like, you need to uphold that whatever you believe,
Speaker 3: whether you are pro or against it's up to you
Speaker 3: and how you date. I think that what works for
Speaker 3: me is that if you are the person who asks
Speaker 3: for the date, you can pay for the date agreed,
Speaker 3: especially in the early stages, then it's no no water.
Speaker 4: Of who's back.
Speaker 3: Whatever that's saying is. But I've I feel like this
Speaker 3: discourse around the investment you make in the early stage
Speaker 3: of dating is just so boring to me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I feel as though.
Speaker 3: All of these like small nuances aren't making for a
Speaker 3: more intentional experience.
Speaker 4: It's just putting everybody off.
Speaker 3: Like you don't want to pay this one doesn't want
Speaker 3: to show up without payment being involved, this one, doesn't
Speaker 3: want to wear this this one, it's like, okay, then
Speaker 3: let's just not if it's not working, it's not working.
Speaker 3: This is one of the few things that we just
Speaker 3: aren't being really smart about. People don't want to date.
Speaker 3: Stop dating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's pitfalls, pitfalls to dating. It's kind of like
Speaker 2: paying for the date the whole amount is like investing
Speaker 2: in crypto. It could be a terrible investment, but you
Speaker 2: have to just throw your hat in the ring, throw
Speaker 2: a little bit of money down. Might not see the
Speaker 2: person again, They might not pay you back, but you
Speaker 2: could find the love of your life.
Speaker 3: And also, I feel like what people are confused is
Speaker 3: that the money you spend on the date isn't in
Speaker 3: exchange for access to a person.
Speaker 4: It's just for.
Speaker 3: Permission to spend time, right, So people are trying to
Speaker 3: measure out the investment, like if I've bought you two drinks,
Speaker 3: I'm entitled to fifty dollars worth your dinner.
Speaker 4: It just doesn't work like that.
Speaker 3: You're essentially paying the money to create a more pleasant
Speaker 3: experience for this person who's left the house to hang
Speaker 3: out with a stranger. So whatever you need to do
Speaker 3: to make that more enjoyable, just do it totally.
Speaker 2: If you have an issue with it, go to McDonald's
Speaker 2: hungry Jack's not going to discriminate, get a little pack,
Speaker 2: go down to the beach, cost you know, money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or just get more creative with it, like use
Speaker 3: the resources you have available to you to make an.
Speaker 4: Exciting experience for someone.
Speaker 3: I feel as though, because people aren't intentional datas, you
Speaker 3: have to overcompensate with spending a lot of money. If
Speaker 3: all you can think about is every day dinner, dinner, bar, bar,
Speaker 3: then of course you have to keep spending, spending, because
Speaker 3: people can afford to get their own food and pay
Speaker 3: for their own drinks.
Speaker 4: Give someone an experience, it's memorable.
Speaker 2: One of those like paint and drink classes. Cute.
Speaker 4: Yeah, set one up yourself.
Speaker 3: Get a little acrylics, a little picnic matt, get a
Speaker 3: little canvas, set it up.
Speaker 2: That's cute. I would freak out if someone did that
Speaker 2: for a first. It's too intention I would also freak
Speaker 2: out if someone's like, hey, here's a five hundred dollar meal,
Speaker 2: Like this guy's gonna Patrick Bateman me afterwards.
Speaker 4: I don't want to fall in love with him. I'm
Speaker 4: not doing that.
Speaker 2: Get you nice and full, chop you up, literally deliver.
Speaker 3: But all in all, everyone should take a break collectively
Speaker 3: and think about what they're saying with any of their
Speaker 3: expectations this whole. Like I want to be wined and dined.
Speaker 3: You're a stranger. I want to be reimbursed, you're a stranger.
Speaker 2: Remember that it's not a business.
Speaker 3: It's not a business, and it's an investment. But that's
Speaker 3: exactly what it is, an investment. If you are not
Speaker 3: a risky investor, then you need to play within your field. Okay,
Speaker 3: start doing coffee dates.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms catch Up podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, tune in to Kata on DAB or check
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