Speaker 1: Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live
Speaker 1: on the free iHeart app One thing that I was
Speaker 1: particularly bad at when I was in the throes of dating.
Speaker 2: Thank god, I am now married and had.
Speaker 1: To go on a reality TV show to find my husband,
Speaker 1: But that was the breakup part. I feel like I
Speaker 1: hung on to dear life to all of my relationships.
Speaker 1: I've said this before, until I drove those things so
Speaker 1: far into the ground that they were dead.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were so dead. They were lifeless and limp
Speaker 2: and sad.
Speaker 1: But I also like, really struggled with the breaking up
Speaker 1: part of a relationship. Doesn't matter if I was dating
Speaker 1: someone for two days or two years, Like I found
Speaker 1: it almost impossible, and I think it's because I'm quite
Speaker 1: conflict avoidant.
Speaker 3: Do you think it's easier to be on the receiving
Speaker 3: end of a breakup or the breaker.
Speaker 1: Up erer depends on how blindsided you are. I think
Speaker 1: there's no person that's ever gone through a really bad
Speaker 1: breakup that's going to sit here and say getting broken
Speaker 1: up with is way easier. But I think for some
Speaker 1: people there are personality types that find doing the breaking
Speaker 1: up incredibly Like I say, in a relationship for an
Speaker 1: entire year, knowing that it was over, but I could
Speaker 1: not bring myself.
Speaker 2: To break up with him.
Speaker 1: But the reason I wanted to talk about this is
Speaker 1: because if you were in the early stages of dating
Speaker 1: and you're finding it particularly hard to do the breaking
Speaker 1: up with someone when someone doesn't seem right, I came
Speaker 1: across an article that has a full proof formula for
Speaker 1: how to break up with them. And as someone who
Speaker 1: did quite a bit of dating but also quite a
Speaker 1: bit of breaking hearts skillful, what you were going to.
Speaker 4: Say, there's someone who are shopped around, someone who.
Speaker 2: Has been prolific in the dating sphere for a very part.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, But I also think you, and in all
Speaker 1: the conversations we've had over the last six years of
Speaker 1: our friendship, you have been really good at calling things off.
Speaker 4: When it doesn't serve you. It gets easier to tried
Speaker 4: and tested. It one of those learn traits that you
Speaker 4: have to spend time doing.
Speaker 2: Okay, hear me out.
Speaker 1: I mean to run you through and you can tell
Speaker 1: me what pointer is, dismisses or you know what you
Speaker 1: would do differently. So this is your perfect breakup text.
Speaker 1: Write this down, guys, put this says you're a bible
Speaker 1: if you're in the dating throes.
Speaker 2: Okay, firstly, start with a hello in their name.
Speaker 1: No nothing, hi Frank. No no nice names like if
Speaker 1: you called them babe or anything like that. None, none,
Speaker 1: that's all babe suck.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Small gratitude like had a really nice night the other night, right,
Speaker 1: something that's like, you know, or thanks for picking that restaurant.
Speaker 2: I really enjoyed it. Something really simple to the point.
Speaker 1: Next one, get to the point kindly and as honestly
Speaker 1: as possible, which is very simply, something like had a
Speaker 1: really great time.
Speaker 2: I'm not feeling it.
Speaker 1: With you, you know, I hope that you find what is
Speaker 1: that you're looking for.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's got too much.
Speaker 4: I don't even know.
Speaker 3: I could see you even getting oh, LAURIEA getting uncomfortable
Speaker 3: reading them.
Speaker 1: Then it says end on a positive note, something like
Speaker 1: you know, I wish you all the best. I really
Speaker 1: enjoyed getting to know you, even though you're giving them
Speaker 1: a shit sandwich and telling them that you really didn't
Speaker 1: enjoy it that much. And then number five, the friend
Speaker 1: opt in. I think that this one is an important one.
Speaker 1: The friend opt in where you say, but we could
Speaker 1: still be friends. You only say it if you really
Speaker 1: mean it, Like, if you're actually going to pursue a friendship,
Speaker 1: then you can throw that line in.
Speaker 3: If you're sending this breakup text like after one or
Speaker 3: two dates, don't throw the friend thing in.
Speaker 2: Just cut your losses.
Speaker 4: Really, unless you need a new best friend.
Speaker 1: Some people do collect friends, though, some people like go
Speaker 1: on single like you know, one or two dates and
Speaker 1: then they collect a friendship.
Speaker 2: Tally.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we have a friend that does that. That's what
Speaker 4: we give her.
Speaker 2: Dive all the time.
Speaker 1: Okay, but I want to give you three one liners
Speaker 1: and brit tell me what you think when you're actually
Speaker 1: going into like the breakup part of the text, I'm
Speaker 1: not feeling a deeper connection here.
Speaker 2: Blunt to the point.
Speaker 1: Another option, however, I don't see this progressing further between us,
Speaker 1: blunt also to the point third one. Unfortunately, I'm just
Speaker 1: not feeling a romantic connection between us.
Speaker 4: Have you heard of kiss?
Speaker 3: Like the analogy don't kiss them kiss? Keep it simple, stupid.
Speaker 3: You can use it in any aspect of life. Keep
Speaker 3: it simple, stupid A compliment sandwich short and sweet. Hey,
Speaker 3: Frank had a really nice time at dinner last night.
Speaker 3: It was lovely to meet you. I just don't see
Speaker 3: it going anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection or
Speaker 3: I don't think we have what I'm looking for.
Speaker 2: I hope you have a great weekend. See you later.
Speaker 3: No friend, no nothing, compliment, sandwich short and sweet, thank
Speaker 3: them for a nice time.
Speaker 4: It's not you, it's me.
Speaker 2: They're great, and.
Speaker 4: Then get the hell out of there. It's okay, and
Speaker 4: I think people get I got way.
Speaker 2: Better at it, like after the decade of doing it.
Speaker 5: It's really hard at the start, but once you realize
Speaker 5: that there are a billion people in the world like
Speaker 5: you going on a date with Frank that you met online,
Speaker 5: the odds are there is no connection, like your odds
Speaker 5: is more stacked against you.
Speaker 3: And it's not personal.
Speaker 4: It's like two people didn't quite match.
Speaker 3: I think it's okay, and I think we take too
Speaker 3: much pressure on ourselves for like breaking someone's heart.
Speaker 2: He's gonna be fine, okay For me.
Speaker 1: I was someone who was very guilty of doing the
Speaker 1: ghost not proud of it now, but I was a ghoster.
Speaker 1: I was just if it was one or two dates
Speaker 1: and I wasn't into it, I'd just go quiet. I
Speaker 1: don't think that that's the right way of handling it.
Speaker 1: And now that I'm older, more mature, and if I
Speaker 1: could go back and live my life again, I would.
Speaker 2: Do it differently.
Speaker 1: But tell me, do you think that after one date
Speaker 1: someone deserves a text message?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: And how many dates do you think you need to
Speaker 1: go on before it's not a text message anymore?
Speaker 2: It's a phone call. It can always be a text. No,
Speaker 2: unless you're married.
Speaker 3: No, I mean if you're exclusive and it's more than
Speaker 3: like a couple of dates, but a couple of dates
Speaker 3: in it can be a text one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Well, apparently according to this relationship expert, they said, no
Speaker 1: more than if five dates, if you've been on five dates,
Speaker 1: if that's a phone call, or you could just.
Speaker 4: Go no, don't don't take Laura's advice.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, Well that is it from us,