WEBVTT - MINI: We've found the perfect template for a break up text

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<v Speaker 1>Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live

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<v Speaker 1>on the free iHeart app One thing that I was

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<v Speaker 1>particularly bad at when I was in the throes of dating.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank god, I am now married and had.

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<v Speaker 1>To go on a reality TV show to find my husband,

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<v Speaker 1>But that was the breakup part. I feel like I

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<v Speaker 1>hung on to dear life to all of my relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>I've said this before, until I drove those things so

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<v Speaker 1>far into the ground that they were dead.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they were so dead. They were lifeless and limp

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<v Speaker 2>and sad.

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<v Speaker 1>But I also like, really struggled with the breaking up

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<v Speaker 1>part of a relationship. Doesn't matter if I was dating

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<v Speaker 1>someone for two days or two years, Like I found

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<v Speaker 1>it almost impossible, and I think it's because I'm quite

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<v Speaker 1>conflict avoidant.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you think it's easier to be on the receiving

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<v Speaker 3>end of a breakup or the breaker.

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<v Speaker 1>Up erer depends on how blindsided you are. I think

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<v Speaker 1>there's no person that's ever gone through a really bad

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<v Speaker 1>breakup that's going to sit here and say getting broken

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<v Speaker 1>up with is way easier. But I think for some

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<v Speaker 1>people there are personality types that find doing the breaking

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<v Speaker 1>up incredibly Like I say, in a relationship for an

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<v Speaker 1>entire year, knowing that it was over, but I could

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<v Speaker 1>not bring myself.

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<v Speaker 2>To break up with him.

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<v Speaker 1>But the reason I wanted to talk about this is

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<v Speaker 1>because if you were in the early stages of dating

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<v Speaker 1>and you're finding it particularly hard to do the breaking

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<v Speaker 1>up with someone when someone doesn't seem right, I came

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<v Speaker 1>across an article that has a full proof formula for

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<v Speaker 1>how to break up with them. And as someone who

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<v Speaker 1>did quite a bit of dating but also quite a

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<v Speaker 1>bit of breaking hearts skillful, what you were going to.

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<v Speaker 4>Say, there's someone who are shopped around, someone who.

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<v Speaker 2>Has been prolific in the dating sphere for a very part.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah no, But I also think you, and in all

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<v Speaker 1>the conversations we've had over the last six years of

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<v Speaker 1>our friendship, you have been really good at calling things off.

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<v Speaker 4>When it doesn't serve you. It gets easier to tried

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<v Speaker 4>and tested. It one of those learn traits that you

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<v Speaker 4>have to spend time doing.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, hear me out.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean to run you through and you can tell

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<v Speaker 1>me what pointer is, dismisses or you know what you

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<v Speaker 1>would do differently. So this is your perfect breakup text.

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<v Speaker 1>Write this down, guys, put this says you're a bible

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<v Speaker 1>if you're in the dating throes.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, firstly, start with a hello in their name.

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<v Speaker 1>No nothing, hi Frank. No no nice names like if

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<v Speaker 1>you called them babe or anything like that. None, none,

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<v Speaker 1>that's all babe suck.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, don't do that.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Small gratitude like had a really nice night the other night, right,

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<v Speaker 1>something that's like, you know, or thanks for picking that restaurant.

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<v Speaker 2>I really enjoyed it. Something really simple to the point.

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<v Speaker 1>Next one, get to the point kindly and as honestly

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<v Speaker 1>as possible, which is very simply, something like had a

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<v Speaker 1>really great time.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not feeling it.

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<v Speaker 1>With you, you know, I hope that you find what is

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<v Speaker 1>that you're looking for.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe that's got too much.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't even know.

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<v Speaker 3>I could see you even getting oh, LAURIEA getting uncomfortable

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<v Speaker 3>reading them.

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<v Speaker 1>Then it says end on a positive note, something like

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I wish you all the best. I really

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<v Speaker 1>enjoyed getting to know you, even though you're giving them

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<v Speaker 1>a shit sandwich and telling them that you really didn't

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy it that much. And then number five, the friend

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<v Speaker 1>opt in. I think that this one is an important one.

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<v Speaker 1>The friend opt in where you say, but we could

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<v Speaker 1>still be friends. You only say it if you really

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<v Speaker 1>mean it, Like, if you're actually going to pursue a friendship,

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<v Speaker 1>then you can throw that line in.

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<v Speaker 3>If you're sending this breakup text like after one or

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<v Speaker 3>two dates, don't throw the friend thing in.

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<v Speaker 2>Just cut your losses.

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<v Speaker 4>Really, unless you need a new best friend.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people do collect friends, though, some people like go

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<v Speaker 1>on single like you know, one or two dates and

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<v Speaker 1>then they collect a friendship.

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<v Speaker 2>Tally.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we have a friend that does that. That's what

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<v Speaker 4>we give her.

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<v Speaker 2>Dive all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, but I want to give you three one liners

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<v Speaker 1>and brit tell me what you think when you're actually

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<v Speaker 1>going into like the breakup part of the text, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not feeling a deeper connection here.

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<v Speaker 2>Blunt to the point.

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<v Speaker 1>Another option, however, I don't see this progressing further between us,

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<v Speaker 1>blunt also to the point third one. Unfortunately, I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>not feeling a romantic connection between us.

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<v Speaker 4>Have you heard of kiss?

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<v Speaker 3>Like the analogy don't kiss them kiss? Keep it simple, stupid.

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<v Speaker 3>You can use it in any aspect of life. Keep

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<v Speaker 3>it simple, stupid A compliment sandwich short and sweet. Hey,

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<v Speaker 3>Frank had a really nice time at dinner last night.

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<v Speaker 3>It was lovely to meet you. I just don't see

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<v Speaker 3>it going anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection or

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think we have what I'm looking for.

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<v Speaker 2>I hope you have a great weekend. See you later.

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<v Speaker 3>No friend, no nothing, compliment, sandwich short and sweet, thank

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<v Speaker 3>them for a nice time.

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<v Speaker 4>It's not you, it's me.

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<v Speaker 2>They're great, and.

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<v Speaker 4>Then get the hell out of there. It's okay, and

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<v Speaker 4>I think people get I got way.

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<v Speaker 2>Better at it, like after the decade of doing it.

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<v Speaker 5>It's really hard at the start, but once you realize

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<v Speaker 5>that there are a billion people in the world like

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<v Speaker 5>you going on a date with Frank that you met online,

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<v Speaker 5>the odds are there is no connection, like your odds

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<v Speaker 5>is more stacked against you.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's not personal.

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<v Speaker 4>It's like two people didn't quite match.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's okay, and I think we take too

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<v Speaker 3>much pressure on ourselves for like breaking someone's heart.

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<v Speaker 2>He's gonna be fine, okay For me.

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<v Speaker 1>I was someone who was very guilty of doing the

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<v Speaker 1>ghost not proud of it now, but I was a ghoster.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just if it was one or two dates

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<v Speaker 1>and I wasn't into it, I'd just go quiet. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think that that's the right way of handling it.

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<v Speaker 1>And now that I'm older, more mature, and if I

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<v Speaker 1>could go back and live my life again, I would.

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<v Speaker 2>Do it differently.

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<v Speaker 1>But tell me, do you think that after one date

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<v Speaker 1>someone deserves a text message?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>And how many dates do you think you need to

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<v Speaker 1>go on before it's not a text message anymore?

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<v Speaker 2>It's a phone call. It can always be a text. No,

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<v Speaker 2>unless you're married.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I mean if you're exclusive and it's more than

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<v Speaker 3>like a couple of dates, but a couple of dates

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<v Speaker 3>in it can be a text one hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, apparently according to this relationship expert, they said, no

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<v Speaker 1>more than if five dates, if you've been on five dates,

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<v Speaker 1>if that's a phone call, or you could just.

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<v Speaker 4>Go no, don't don't take Laura's advice.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, guys, Well that is it from us,