Speaker 1: Matt Before we get into the episode today, I just
Speaker 1: want to wish all the mothers out there a happy
Speaker 1: Mother's Day for Sunday. Just gone. Absolutely. My mum's in
Speaker 1: town at the moment, just sort of stuck in town.
Speaker 1: It's a long story. And also April's mum. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you knew that. I had my suspicions, So
Speaker 1: happy Mother's Day. You're doing a fantastic job to all
Speaker 1: the mums out there.
Speaker 2: I also want to say to all the moms out there,
Speaker 2: thank you. I hope you had a fantastic Mother's Day,
Speaker 2: in particular my beautiful wife Laura, my mother. Raising a
Speaker 2: family is incredibly hard, but the two of you do
Speaker 2: an amazing job. I love you so thank you.
Speaker 1: We do.
Speaker 2: Thank you for your service. Welcome back to two doting dads.
Speaker 1: I am Mattie Jay and I'm at.
Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
Speaker 2: the bad, and the related. If you have come wanting
Speaker 2: any type of advice, this is the wrong podcast for you.
Speaker 1: Yes, hey, before we do get into it, I was
Speaker 1: away on the weekend. I went to a wedding and
Speaker 1: at the wedding they had a beer package which was
Speaker 1: subpar for me. I will say, if they're listening, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry they didn't have stone wood. Okay, they had stonewood there.
Speaker 1: I had to pay for it. Oh, that wasn't included.
Speaker 1: That's cheeky, that's cheeky. I get it, like people went
Speaker 1: with different packages because different tastes. It's not catered for me.
Speaker 2: But also it's very sneaky. It's like saying, would you
Speaker 2: like a glass of water? We have gut of water
Speaker 2: for free. So we have ice sparkling, which is gonna
Speaker 2: question money, And.
Speaker 1: It was ten bucks a beer because it was an establishment.
Speaker 1: So I spent one hundred and fifty dollars on beers
Speaker 1: that day at a wedding, and I gave him a
Speaker 1: wedding gift.
Speaker 2: Why don't you bring your own just up rock up
Speaker 2: with a carton of stone woods.
Speaker 1: Yes, but that leads me into what we're drinking today,
Speaker 1: which is specific gale and it is stone and wood
Speaker 1: of course ah barn being a bottle. It is bar
Speaker 1: and bay cheers. So just like it tasted on the weekend.
Speaker 2: Question for you, We've given a few different scenarios of
Speaker 2: where the beer tastes better. We have barbecue at home,
Speaker 2: we have the football. Where does the wedding rank in
Speaker 2: improving that to what?
Speaker 1: After a subpar crispy laga that they had going on there,
Speaker 1: and it was worth every cent it was up there
Speaker 1: because everyone was walking around with their crap bins. But
Speaker 1: I just have to pay for it.
Speaker 2: But then that money then gets that you spent gets
Speaker 2: reinvested in the podcast. So it's just the cycle of
Speaker 2: life keeps.
Speaker 1: Going of life. So we would like to thank Stonewood
Speaker 1: for making this episode possible.
Speaker 2: Cheers, Cheers to you, Cheers to us, Cheers to them,
Speaker 2: Cheers to all of us. Ash before I forget, we
Speaker 2: have something very exciting that we've come up with. If
Speaker 2: you would like to get your hands in a free
Speaker 2: case of stone, would beer? All you have to do
Speaker 2: is put a story up on so media of you
Speaker 2: listening to the pod tag us Tagstone and Wood, and
Speaker 2: we'll pick one person per week to have a case
Speaker 2: of b sent directly to the home. But we'll put
Speaker 2: those details in the show notes. How are you man,
Speaker 2: I'm good.
Speaker 1: We did go away, like I said, we did go
Speaker 1: on holidays. Well okay, let me stop.
Speaker 2: We am seeing that wedding. No, I was just relaxing.
Speaker 1: I was just an enjoyer of weddings. It was a
Speaker 1: lovely wedding. I shouldn't I shouldn't shit on them. It
Speaker 1: was a lovely wedding, great view, great outlook. But it
Speaker 1: was a wedding in which we didn't take the children.
Speaker 1: So of course we got to travel without the kids together.
Speaker 1: April and I have for the weekend just solo. It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: It takes a little while to acclimatize that new environment.
Speaker 2: It's like you've forgotten your keys or something like something's missing.
Speaker 2: That's right, my screaming children.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was. It was peaceful. But with you know,
Speaker 1: a mummy and daddy weekend, mummy and daddy things tend
Speaker 1: to happen, go on. So we did travel with another couple.
Speaker 1: They didn't have their kids. Obviously. It was great, nice
Speaker 1: and free flowing chat about all sorts of things. As
Speaker 1: adult weekends happen. Adult things can sometimes happen. Where are
Speaker 1: you going? So we were traveling carry on because we
Speaker 1: just went for two nights. We sort of got We
Speaker 1: got halfway through the security line and I leer over
Speaker 1: to what April was doing on the phone, and she
Speaker 1: was googling something quite suspicious. Matthew, what do you think
Speaker 1: she was googling?
Speaker 2: Maybe like liquids, like how much you can Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: because everyone's always a bit confused about domestic versus international.
Speaker 2: I think you like, I still don't know was.
Speaker 1: It was it?
Speaker 2: Did you like a bottle of water, like a therapy water?
Speaker 1: What a women like to bring them all? No?
Speaker 2: No, they like it's a comfort, Give me one second.
Speaker 2: An emotional support water bottle?
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, water bottle.
Speaker 2: No, it's an emotional support water bottle. What's the difference?
Speaker 2: It provides emotional support. How the bigger the water bottle,
Speaker 2: the more support for us you get.
Speaker 1: We should make drink bottles that have a little pep
Speaker 1: talking and see press the button. It's like you can do.
Speaker 2: It and make it massive, bigger than the standing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So she had to check that in. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: wasn't in a garret, and she check that in. Anyway,
Speaker 1: she got a bit freaked out midway through the line
Speaker 1: because the person that security was going laptops out of
Speaker 1: the bag, you know how they do that sort of stuff,
Speaker 1: And she was googling if she can take sex toys
Speaker 1: through carry on? What kind of sex toys.
Speaker 2: Is she bringing ones that have like serrated edges and
Speaker 2: a lighter?
Speaker 1: She was worried that she was going to get it
Speaker 1: like a laptop, get it out of her bag, put
Speaker 1: it onto the xtra. How many did she have with her? No,
Speaker 1: she just had the one. She just had the one,
Speaker 1: Thank you, Amy Gerard. She just had the one. But
Speaker 1: it was really funny because I was like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? And she's googling can I take sex toys? On?
Speaker 1: Carry on? And what was Google telling her? We didn't
Speaker 1: get that? Viger put a stop to that immediately.
Speaker 2: Never tries to google, first and foremost.
Speaker 1: First of all, I was guaranteed I was getting some
Speaker 1: on the weekend. So that's a did you know? Did
Speaker 1: you know what was in the bag? Did you know?
Speaker 1: So you were like and then she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: hang on a minute, can you carry my bag for me? Ah?
Speaker 1: It was my bag And obviously you don't have to
Speaker 1: get it out like it's a laptop because the laptop
Speaker 1: that it's like, I don't know what the deal is
Speaker 1: with that? Is it the lithium? I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, must be like a petrol powered sex toys?
Speaker 1: Like make sure you get that out of she's got
Speaker 1: a pull start to stroke to stroke is correct. She
Speaker 1: was like, come on, just stack my bag for me.
Speaker 1: I was like, pretend it's your bag.
Speaker 2: But also, do you think that the way that you
Speaker 2: were acting, like if April was getting a little bit
Speaker 2: flustered and she's like you carry it and you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm not carrying it, you carry it, do you reckon?
Speaker 2: Security would have been looking at the two of you
Speaker 2: going this is a red flag.
Speaker 1: I said, let's just let's just get it out, and
Speaker 1: she's like, don't, don't you dare.
Speaker 2: You guys are like showing all the signs for suspicious
Speaker 2: people who are potentially.
Speaker 1: Carrying something that cavity search. You didn't get it, No,
Speaker 1: you didn't get it out. She was very she said,
Speaker 1: I'll be so embarrassed if you get it. I said,
Speaker 1: but it's my bag. Apparently, so I had to take
Speaker 1: the bag through and that way, if it was like Sarah,
Speaker 1: is this your bag? I would have had to be like, yes,
Speaker 1: that is my bag.
Speaker 2: Do you think the guy sitting there in the chair
Speaker 2: looking at the screen as things are being X ray
Speaker 2: do you reckon? He could have seen that thing and he.
Speaker 1: Would have seen that next to a bottle of a
Speaker 1: loom and something's not right. My man, I wonder why
Speaker 1: the back took forever to come through. But I can
Speaker 1: imagine that they would have to deal with that scenario
Speaker 1: a lot, right, be like people just go on to
Speaker 1: Carrol On especially it's like two people, you know, like
Speaker 1: a couple going away. They would see some serious shit. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So if you operate one of those machines, what have
Speaker 1: you seen? What have you seen?
Speaker 3: Look, if you've seen one of those fists, there's big, black,
Speaker 3: giant side of judgment. It's like it's like up to
Speaker 3: your elbow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not getting any because of it. In a
Speaker 1: second a second, No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2: Here's tricky. It is tricky when you're away from the
Speaker 2: kids and you're at something like a wedding, because on
Speaker 2: the one hand, you're like, oh, man, i'm child free,
Speaker 2: I can let LuSE, I can have fun, I can party.
Speaker 2: But then at the same time, these days, I dare say,
Speaker 2: once it gets past eleven o'clock and I've had a
Speaker 2: bit to drink, yeah, the chances of having a little snuggle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Aka, there's a scale. Yeah, So April always says
Speaker 1: she wants to be at peak performance. She's an athlete. Happening,
Speaker 1: it's not happening after you've had a couple of drinks.
Speaker 2: She takes pride in her work, and I like that
Speaker 2: about her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so it's like a next day thing. But
Speaker 1: also we were sharing an airbnb with another couple, so
Speaker 1: it's like she's also trying to be discreet. I don't
Speaker 1: know how that would have happened.
Speaker 2: And you are quite loud.
Speaker 1: I'm allowed, man, Yeah, yeah, I love that. You're like,
Speaker 1: wait a second, no, I'm not anyway, it was lovely weekend,
Speaker 1: So that's how I am. Can I ask? Yes?
Speaker 2: Can I ask? If I may?
Speaker 1: And I do? What is this?
Speaker 2: It's fluff on the table, could be my cat's fur.
Speaker 2: Can I ask? And I don't want to pry too
Speaker 2: much into your private life. I know April doesn't really
Speaker 2: appreciate it too much talking about these types of topics.
Speaker 1: She's so sick of being embarrassed. But yes, I'll.
Speaker 2: Put this one on you. Then do you do you
Speaker 2: do much? How do you say? Dirty talk in the bedroom?
Speaker 1: Nothing? What am I going to say? Oh? Those dishes
Speaker 1: really need a good clean And I mean no, come back.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you don't give like a little bit
Speaker 2: of some something you know, like you ever give.
Speaker 1: Like is this a sex podcast?
Speaker 2: Because I'm also I'm not one to be very vocal
Speaker 2: in the bedroom. Every now and then I sometimes give
Speaker 2: like a oh, like that's great, that's good.
Speaker 1: Awkward, but no, do you know what makes it even
Speaker 1: more awkward? What's that?
Speaker 2: Or Like recently, recently, Laura and I we were intimate
Speaker 2: if you will, if you will, and and I was like,
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to throw some some get
Speaker 2: some words out, I'm going to say some things. I'm
Speaker 2: going to like, you know, I just I feel like
Speaker 2: Laura really likes it.
Speaker 1: She loves it.
Speaker 2: She loves it when I'm vocal. But there's nothing more
Speaker 2: awkward than someone like myself who was not very vocal,
Speaker 2: who was trying to be vocal, and you know, when
Speaker 2: you're thinking about the words you're about to say, and
Speaker 2: the more you think about it, she's you got to
Speaker 2: just get it out. And I'm thinking, is that gonna
Speaker 2: sound weird to say it? To say to say it,
Speaker 2: and I said it, but I said it to quietly.
Speaker 2: And then Laura said, huh, well that's sexy and you're like,
Speaker 2: do you like that?
Speaker 1: What do you say? I'm like, you said, do you
Speaker 1: like that? Oh my god, my skin's crawling. That's so awkward. No,
Speaker 1: do you like that? No? Oh yeah, I'm not into that.
Speaker 1: That is so especially when she's especially just like, what
Speaker 1: did you say? I like that? What do you meant
Speaker 1: to say? Nothing? What do people?
Speaker 2: It's hard?
Speaker 1: I just think it's hard. I'm sorry, Laura. There's people
Speaker 1: that like do it, and there's people who don't.
Speaker 2: I feel like ninety nine percent of guys don't say anything.
Speaker 1: No, they would, there'd be women listening right now, going
Speaker 1: I haven't had a man ever say anything. It's the best.
Speaker 1: It's the only time. It's probably the only time. I
Speaker 1: don't say.
Speaker 2: If there's any female people's happy for the quiet time.
Speaker 2: If there's any female listeners, just a couple of and
Speaker 2: like our dms are going to be say, full of filth.
Speaker 2: What's what's a line that you wouldn't mind hearing during sex?
Speaker 2: Help a guy out, help a man out, help two
Speaker 2: men out? Wow, who are struggling? Actually speaking about the
Speaker 2: topic of.
Speaker 1: Sleep, sexual sleep? Or is this actual sleep? This is
Speaker 1: actual sleep? So actual sleep. I love sleep. Actual sleep.
Speaker 2: Laura very busy during the week, very busy, has a
Speaker 2: schedule that is absolutely jam packed in Ashton Wicks and
Speaker 2: she's up quite early in the mornings during the week
Speaker 2: as well. She's definitely not getting her eight hours so
Speaker 2: come the weekend and she does like a lion does
Speaker 2: like a lion, and I'm more, lion, that's terrible.
Speaker 1: That's a terrible was one of your worst? Sorry, we'll
Speaker 1: leave it in there. Lie in got it?
Speaker 2: And I sometimes say you know that, like that must
Speaker 2: have been a nice lion, And she's like, no, I
Speaker 2: didn't get a good night's sleep last night because I
Speaker 2: was up so much with the girls.
Speaker 1: First of all, please, that could come across two different ways.
Speaker 1: Go on. You don't want to stir the pot by saying, oh,
Speaker 1: that must have been a nice lie who she thinks
Speaker 1: you've been cheeky? That was a jab a jab, like, no,
Speaker 1: it must be nice to lie in.
Speaker 2: No, it's that's not it's very aggressive. I don't poke
Speaker 2: like that. It's more of a like I did good
Speaker 2: to give you that, lion. So now it's your to think, well,
Speaker 2: hang on, so that you're just well, I give it,
Speaker 2: hang on. Let we're getting off track here. Okay, so
Speaker 2: we're getting off track here and I'm being attacked, which
Speaker 2: I also don't appreciate. Okay, this is a safe place.
Speaker 2: You should know that as you were. I never judge
Speaker 2: you bullshit. But she was like, I just I still
Speaker 2: feel tired even though I've been in bed for you know, eight.
Speaker 1: Funny must have overslept.
Speaker 2: But she said, I'm up all night, all throughout the night.
Speaker 2: And I was like, let me just check my stats.
Speaker 2: Because I wear my garm into bed. I like to
Speaker 2: have a little glance from now and then how my
Speaker 2: sleep is going. I was up last night for four
Speaker 2: minutes totally.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good.
Speaker 2: My garment gives me that reading and four minutes. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm a pretty heavy sleeper. And Laura was like, She's
Speaker 2: like that's like that's that must be bloody nice to
Speaker 2: only be like that normal. I don't know for people.
Speaker 2: So Laura couldn't believe it. Laura was like, I'm up
Speaker 2: at least seven eight times throughout the night. And I
Speaker 2: was like, no, you're not like that. That's an exaggeration.
Speaker 2: I know, I know. So I said, I said, look
Speaker 2: where the garment. Where the garment. Let's track your sleep,
Speaker 2: and recently, on Laura's podcast Life un Cut, she has
Speaker 2: said this.
Speaker 4: Saturday afternoon, we went to a friend's house, had quite
Speaker 4: a few margaritas in the afternoon, and I was feeling
Speaker 4: a little bit spicy and dicey. Anyway, went to bed
Speaker 4: Matt that night. He was like, Okay, where my gum
Speaker 4: and see how your sleep is. Not only do I
Speaker 4: know that I woke up so much during the night,
Speaker 4: because but when I'm a bit hungover, I can't sleep,
Speaker 4: so I'm awake, like laying at the ceiling awake. Not
Speaker 4: only that, did I get it? I got up three
Speaker 4: times for Lola. Lola came into the bed, I went
Speaker 4: up and I got a bottle of water. Anyway, I
Speaker 4: woke up in the morning and I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: so glad. I am so glad I wore the garment
Speaker 4: last night. Because he's going to see just how bad
Speaker 4: my sleep was. Eight hours and twenty five minutes awake
Speaker 4: for two minutes.
Speaker 1: She's essentially blamed.
Speaker 2: She's blaming the technology. I mean, someone is reputable as garment.
Speaker 2: I don't know how long they've been in operation. I
Speaker 2: want to say, look, I've got to gripe with him.
Speaker 1: At the morment.
Speaker 2: I know you do, but also you and Laura both
Speaker 2: She's just you're cut from the same cloth.
Speaker 1: She's you can't okay it's been attached to your wrist
Speaker 1: or not. And you're saying that it's giving Matt one
Speaker 1: reading and you're completely different reading, and you're not willing
Speaker 1: to accept that.
Speaker 2: I will say, I will say deep sleep two hours
Speaker 2: eighteen light sleep six hours, twenty one minutes. Rem not
Speaker 2: enough here thirty three minutes. Guess how long she was
Speaker 2: awake for?
Speaker 1: How long?
Speaker 2: Two minutes? Two minutes?
Speaker 1: How dare she? You'll have a dig at you? I can,
Speaker 1: I can see her face right now. Just be like, no,
Speaker 1: that's not true. I was up hoops of times.
Speaker 2: She rips the garment off, smashes it on the ground.
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable. The garment doesn't lie. Bro, You're awake six
Speaker 1: minutes in the middle of the night like that. I
Speaker 1: checked mine. I'm awake forty eight minutes. What are you
Speaker 1: doing for forty eight minutes? I'm usually getting smacked in
Speaker 1: the face by Oscar. He cannot sleep in his bed
Speaker 1: to save his life. Wow, Like he is in He
Speaker 1: does this thing where he gets in and just puts
Speaker 1: his hands around my throat. Is he trying to kill me?
Speaker 2: Macy's still in the cot right. Oscar's in a little,
Speaker 2: a little.
Speaker 1: Bed, he's in like a single bed.
Speaker 2: Does he ever say, Daddy, come in line in bed
Speaker 2: with me?
Speaker 1: No, he's he can't because he's in my He thinks
Speaker 1: my bed's his bed, so.
Speaker 2: He never asks you to come into his bed.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, I have done the thing where he comes
Speaker 1: into me and I've gone I'm not putting up with this,
Speaker 1: and I just go straight in his bed. Yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's slack. And then I wake up. Macy's mate, like,
Speaker 1: wake up next to Mazie and she's like.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: So much? Is that what looks like.
Speaker 2: Lola does a thing rarely happens with me, happens always
Speaker 2: with Laura. Obviously the favorite where she'll say, like, come
Speaker 2: into bed with me, Like she wakes up, she can't
Speaker 2: find a dummy. You go in the room, give her
Speaker 2: the dummy, and then she's like, hop in a bed
Speaker 2: with me for the first time. Wow, for the first
Speaker 2: time last night ever. Maybe it's happened once a week,
Speaker 2: you can remember, Yeah, I have a bad memory.
Speaker 1: Let's for four minutes. But she was like, I gave
Speaker 1: her the dummy.
Speaker 2: Was waiting for her to say, not you you're prick.
Speaker 1: Where's mom?
Speaker 2: That didn't happen. It's not long enough to be she
Speaker 2: can smell me even when she's asleep. She's like, sounds
Speaker 2: like it smells like a little bit desperation. It comes
Speaker 2: with a desperate one literally, except that I gave her
Speaker 2: the dummy and she then looked at me and she
Speaker 2: said coming to bed with me?
Speaker 5: Did you just turn the light and goes because then
Speaker 5: I was like, I was like, you know, I'm not Laura.
Speaker 5: I don't want to stuff this up, did you? I
Speaker 5: don't want to stuff it up? Well, I so like slow.
Speaker 2: She's also very particular where she's like she's got little
Speaker 2: toys and sometimes you know, yeah, and you're like lean
Speaker 2: on a toy and she's like.
Speaker 1: Your fucking you cright, you crushing Jimmy, get off with
Speaker 1: me animal, and Timmy gets a red So you know,
Speaker 1: I'm worried.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, I don't want to STEP's Laula's
Speaker 2: a mum in her bed. She's got a little babies,
Speaker 2: her soft toys, So I don't want to damage a
Speaker 2: soft toy. Also sometimes not sure what side she wants
Speaker 2: me to go in, Like there's so many rules, it's
Speaker 2: I'm walking on.
Speaker 1: Extra it's stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But then the harder it is to.
Speaker 1: Get Yeah, the more I want it. I know that's
Speaker 1: the sad thing about being desperate.
Speaker 2: But I got into bed with her, and it was
Speaker 2: like being in bed with I'm a child.
Speaker 1: I knew.
Speaker 2: I knew that it was coming, the fact that she
Speaker 2: was going to say get out, get out of bed. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I was just like.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 2: It's not when it's if. But I was like, every
Speaker 2: second was the second that I was enjoying savoring.
Speaker 1: How are you fitness in four minutes? I don't know?
Speaker 2: This is before I went to bed. Okay, sorry, So
Speaker 2: I was like whoa, No, this was like I was
Speaker 2: hopping in a bed and you know when you go
Speaker 2: to bed, in the moment your head hits the pillow,
Speaker 2: the kids wake up. Oh yeah, I want to those scenarios.
Speaker 2: I was in bed with her. I got like forty
Speaker 2: five seconds. I'm going to say, in bed with her.
Speaker 2: But there's a reason, Ash, there is a reason why
Speaker 2: she's warm to me. Okay, something that I'm now doing
Speaker 2: do it give it during during the day.
Speaker 1: Is this a visual? I'm going to get to see something.
Speaker 2: This, my friend, is a visual and we will put
Speaker 2: this on socials because maybe there are some parents out
Speaker 2: there who have a child that hates them. This trick
Speaker 2: to trick maybe all you need to get those kids
Speaker 2: back on side. Yeah, okay, watch this video and see
Speaker 2: if you can figure out what the heck is.
Speaker 1: Oh that's you.
Speaker 2: You go.
Speaker 1: So handsome? Oh don't who have you got Therekay? Is
Speaker 1: your doggie? Does he need a little pat on his nose? Maybe?
Speaker 1: Eat you your dog? He's gonna eat me. So the
Speaker 1: hack is pretend to be to pretend to be another pant.
Speaker 2: I have to pretend to be a dog, and it
Speaker 2: works like a charm. It's it's unbelievable. Never seen hold
Speaker 2: your head or anything like that. But the issue is like,
Speaker 2: whenever I'm not the dog, she's like, be the dog again.
Speaker 1: You get down on a little floors.
Speaker 2: She loves to ride me. Oh my god, it's but
Speaker 2: nothing has been more effective.
Speaker 1: She who gave you this tip?
Speaker 2: It kind of just wire playing one day and I
Speaker 2: kind of just organically fell into the role of the dog.
Speaker 2: And then from that moment on I saw she her
Speaker 2: eyes lit up and she was like, ah my puppy,
Speaker 2: And I was like, got four buses? Yeah, first a cat.
Speaker 2: Now the guy who owns me is starting to act
Speaker 2: like a dog in his grass. I can't I got
Speaker 2: three legs. Lola can't get enough of me. That's good
Speaker 2: as a dog. So I read her a bedtime story
Speaker 2: and I'm like.
Speaker 1: A leg would you completely ruined it? Yeah? I mean
Speaker 1: it is concerning telling her friends going, Dad's lost it.
Speaker 2: No, I reckon lost, I reckon She she loves it.
Speaker 2: She's like this pathetic guy. She's like, I've managed to
Speaker 2: get him to pretend to be a dog, and he's
Speaker 2: fucking taking a hook line and Sinker took the bit
Speaker 2: and she's like, he's such a loser, he will do anything.
Speaker 1: They're at Kindy now, sitting around the blocks going guess what.
Speaker 2: She's like, Yeah, you couldn't believe. I get him eating
Speaker 2: outside now from a dog bowl. He can't ship or
Speaker 2: piss inside the house. Him and Buster just keeps coming
Speaker 2: back for more. I've noticed if you have a dog
Speaker 2: bed in the bedroom, must be mine. That's mine. So
Speaker 2: if ever she's having a tantrum, it's a little it takes.
Speaker 1: Is that why you barked at me when I came in?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm so. I'm in character now. I bit the
Speaker 2: postman when he came yesterday, just to impress.
Speaker 1: Lola, poor buster. The things we do, the things you do,
Speaker 1: the things you have to do to gain the love
Speaker 1: of your child, And honestly, you've really scraped the bottom
Speaker 1: of the barrel. I'll stop at nothing. That's good to know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was very sweet to you. I could see she's
Speaker 1: very sweet. It's good to know she's like that nice
Speaker 1: to animals. But she's got it in her. She does
Speaker 1: have it in it. Just not going to be with
Speaker 1: a dog for the rest of your her eighteenth birthday
Speaker 1: walking down the wedding Very good. Marley and Oscar like
Speaker 1: the same age, and Oscar hasn't quite understand that. Attitude
Speaker 1: and tone also comes into it when you're conversing with someone.
Speaker 1: So I'm chatting with you. If I was like a
Speaker 1: good one, bro, You're like, oh, tone was off. Tone
Speaker 1: was off. If I said good one, bro, you'd be like,
Speaker 1: I love that, love that or something like that. So
Speaker 1: Ostri quite hasn't worked it out, but he started to
Speaker 1: do this thing, which it's rude. It's it's fucking rude.
Speaker 1: But he doesn't know that, So I don't know if
Speaker 1: Marley does it too. And it's about the tone in
Speaker 1: which he converses with me. And I'll try and give
Speaker 1: you an example and see where you can pick up
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. So normal person would say, hey,
Speaker 1: are we going to the park? Question? Very monotoned, straight
Speaker 1: out yeah, no attitude, Yes, no question. He's picked up
Speaker 1: this thing where he goes, are we going to the
Speaker 1: park or not? I love that, But he does it
Speaker 1: with everything. He'd be like he was like eating rice
Speaker 1: bubbles and he was like, oh, can I have some more? Please?
Speaker 1: Really lovely? I was like yeah. He was like, are
Speaker 1: you gonna me some moral not just adding the or not?
Speaker 1: Such like or not? Should I just give up? Wanting
Speaker 1: an extra bit of milk? He said this morning because
Speaker 1: we were talking about what he wants his birthday, because
Speaker 1: his birthday's coming up, and that's cool. He said, you're
Speaker 1: gonna get me a president or not? That's exactly what
Speaker 1: he said. But he doesn't know it's it's it's he
Speaker 1: doesn't understand the tone in the conversation.
Speaker 2: How do you explain this to him.
Speaker 1: I can't. I even have tried to sass him back
Speaker 1: and be like, bro, he takes that as a yes
Speaker 1: because I've said, Okay, I love how like you've got.
Speaker 2: You've got two ways of dealing with it. You can
Speaker 2: sit him down and explain the right and wrong way
Speaker 2: to use tone, and you're like.
Speaker 1: Because that'll just would you relax? Bro? Yeah, he's four,
Speaker 1: He's not going to understand here we walking around his
Speaker 1: inflections of his way off. He'd be like one of
Speaker 1: those kids that one of those people grow up with
Speaker 1: like a weird inflection where they just like, don't don't
Speaker 1: quite hit the highd hod on the conversation. So I
Speaker 1: feel like if I sass him back and half he'll
Speaker 1: be like, what's with the chude? And you can be like,
Speaker 1: I'm glad, do you bring it up?
Speaker 2: Or just building his arsenal of tone he's.
Speaker 1: Now yeah, he was like he was. Are you gonna
Speaker 1: hug me or not? Are you gonna cuddle me or not?
Speaker 1: I'll see if I can get some footage of him
Speaker 1: to like how direct it's the or not, especially like
Speaker 1: the most simplest thing. He's like, you're gonna help me
Speaker 1: with my shoes or not. But as like as Malia know,
Speaker 1: the only thing that she does.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's just something that's ingrained in
Speaker 2: us that isn't necessarily taught. It just happens over time.
Speaker 2: But she rolls her eyes. Oscar he's the worst at
Speaker 2: that rolls attitude. It's unacceptable. Maybe like maybe I don't
Speaker 2: know if other kids are doing it.
Speaker 1: He's so good at it too, those young eyes.
Speaker 2: There's young, so flexible. Literally in the back of it,
Speaker 2: like you shipping a season. She's just disgusted in me
Speaker 2: trying to get it ready for bed. But if I say,
Speaker 2: if I say all right, my TV is going off,
Speaker 2: it's time for the bar, She's like.
Speaker 1: Where did this come from? And then you're just gonna
Speaker 1: wait for it to be like are we gonna have
Speaker 1: ice cream or not? Or no or no. It's it's
Speaker 1: a very American thing. They go is that right or no?
Speaker 2: Lola is going to be like are you going to
Speaker 2: be a dog or not?
Speaker 1: Are you going to be a dog or not? Get
Speaker 1: back into it. They need to work on their attitude.
Speaker 1: These kids, speaking of attitude, should be going to our
Speaker 1: favorite segment, which is petty couples please or not? Are
Speaker 1: we going to do this segment or not? Peddy couple,
Speaker 1: welcome down the street, Petty couple, they.
Speaker 2: Kind of like with me couple, I love you.
Speaker 1: But no one can push me quite like you let
Speaker 1: me in on your humor. Man, I hope you will say.
Speaker 1: I fucking love this segment so much because I am
Speaker 1: a very petty person you are as you picked up.
Speaker 2: People always ask me what's Ash like, and I say,
Speaker 2: he's he's lovely, but he's very petty.
Speaker 1: He's very petty, and I honestly I love it the
Speaker 1: repercussions of it down the track when they say Karma,
Speaker 1: I almost welcome kamas a bitch. I should know I'm better.
Speaker 2: Sorry, Jojo sewell, what's up?
Speaker 1: Great new song? Get stream, get my poet.
Speaker 2: Anyone who's not watching eight hours of TikTok a day
Speaker 2: must be very confused right now?
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, anyway, let's get back to it. To Macca.
Speaker 1: This one's from Macca. How Macca says, my husband is
Speaker 1: petty whenever we argue, so much so that he builds
Speaker 1: a pillow for between us in the bed so he
Speaker 1: can't see me or we can't touch it.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: Talk about talk about a child. She says, I have
Speaker 1: a variation of this. Go On, I get the ships
Speaker 1: with April watching TV in bed on her phone and
Speaker 1: then turning all the lights out to get like the
Speaker 1: mood for herself. But I'm trying to sleep, okay, And
Speaker 1: I get.
Speaker 2: The headphones in or a blue light. The other day
Speaker 2: she was doing it.
Speaker 1: And I've set up a pillow fort across where my
Speaker 1: head is so if she turns around, you can see
Speaker 1: my body.
Speaker 2: But I love that. Who knew those skills we learn
Speaker 2: as six year olds building forts would come in handy
Speaker 2: when we're married.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what the only time does come in.
Speaker 2: We have like a limit on the number of pillows
Speaker 2: in our bed.
Speaker 1: I'm only allowed one pillow. You're allowed one pillow, one pillow. Yeah.
Speaker 2: When I sleep, just so you know, I sleep my
Speaker 2: elbows out, and so I pushed the pillow. So Laura
Speaker 2: has got me on a She's rationed me to one
Speaker 2: pillow in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: Hey, what's your pillow preference firm or something? I've had that. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is going to be disgusting. Go on, I've had
Speaker 1: the same pillow for the whole time.
Speaker 2: I've been with April thirteen years. How yellow stained is it?
Speaker 1: It's not. It's like a foam pillow. Okay, okay with
Speaker 1: a mesh out one.
Speaker 2: Does it have a use by date? Because some pillows
Speaker 2: now have like you should. It's a marketing plot. Hey,
Speaker 2: this one is from anonymous. You can I just I
Speaker 2: will remind people anonymous or not, Matt, they are anymous.
Speaker 2: You don't have to give your details. Some people, as
Speaker 2: I can appreciate.
Speaker 1: They want to stay.
Speaker 2: And there are a few couples, a few couples who listen,
Speaker 2: both listening and I can imagine hearing in your partner.
Speaker 1: The kids that are listening in the car now as
Speaker 1: it's great that they're talking about parents to this kid.
Speaker 2: So they are anonymous, they say my us here we go.
Speaker 2: My husband listens hello, so you can't say my name.
Speaker 2: He's a five fo worker and he always likes to
Speaker 2: get one last bit of sexy time in before he
Speaker 2: flies out.
Speaker 1: That's completely fair.
Speaker 2: Go so in his last day, when the kids are
Speaker 2: at school, you know, or during daycare, that's the time
Speaker 2: for this sexy time business time. However, if he annoys
Speaker 2: me during the week, for example, if he goes fishing
Speaker 2: and he hasn't done his jobs around the house, sexy
Speaker 2: time is not going to happen. So she says, I
Speaker 2: purposely booked something in during his desired sexy time window
Speaker 2: and say it's the only time they had left and explain,
Speaker 2: you know, I can't take the kids when you're gone,
Speaker 2: so this is my only time to do it.
Speaker 1: Take that clever, clever. And also April says that to me,
Speaker 1: the realization there, it's the only time they could do
Speaker 1: it. It's the only time they could fit me in. Oh really,
Speaker 1: do you know what next time she says that to me,
Speaker 1: I'm going to ring the place and be like, I
Speaker 1: heard this is the only time you can fit her in.
Speaker 1: I reckon.
Speaker 2: They'd be like, it's a husband, just make a make
Speaker 2: up a story code red.
Speaker 1: Should we go into questions?
Speaker 2: May actually before we go into listening questions A really
Speaker 2: quick one. With your breakfast with the kids in the morning,
Speaker 2: do you give them an option or do you just
Speaker 2: make their breakfast and they get what they're given?
Speaker 1: Well, Oscar would say, you gonna give us options or not?
Speaker 1: Little little kid, a little bastard, I give them options.
Speaker 1: I usually would say, what do you want for breakfast, Macy.
Speaker 1: The answer is usually so, which is toast. I got that, okay,
Speaker 1: But lately she's like just gonna kill the voice makes
Speaker 1: He's in the room right now. Oscar's like nursery grains,
Speaker 1: which is nutri nutral grain that he will say toast.
Speaker 1: Now how she says it? Do you do you ever?
Speaker 2: My kids do this all the time, and it does
Speaker 2: my head. In this morning, Marley was like, I want
Speaker 2: scrambled eggs, which I'm happy to do, Jesus, which I'm
Speaker 2: happy to do. It's a ball egg because obviously you
Speaker 2: got to I'm not doing that. You gotta make the
Speaker 2: scrambled eggs just eggs, see they Marley. It's the one
Speaker 2: dish that she eats all of it herself, so I can.
Speaker 2: I can make it. It's high effort.
Speaker 1: How many eggs too? It's pretty good?
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: She's no, she's lifting more than you at the gym.
Speaker 1: She's just like your dad.
Speaker 2: Don't kick me when I'm down, mate, Sorry, sorry, sorry,
Speaker 2: but I make the eggs. I put the eggs in
Speaker 2: front of her. She says, I want wee bicks all
Speaker 2: the time, dude, all the time, and then we'll have
Speaker 2: a full blown meltdown, like kicking and screaming tantrum because
Speaker 2: I don't. Because I'm like, I'm not gonna waste these eggs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you gotta eat the eggs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair, mate, you are not in the wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do I do here? I think if
Speaker 1: she I'm a very big fan of if you make
Speaker 1: your bed, you're laying it.
Speaker 2: She's got to sleep in the scrambled egg.
Speaker 1: Yes. Well, when I was a kid, anything I didn't
Speaker 1: eat or I didn't put into the dishwasher or the
Speaker 1: sink ended up in my bed. What Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: the threat? And who did it actually end up in there? No?
Speaker 1: Because I would scared the ship out of me, So
Speaker 1: I never I don't recall. Do you definitely think some
Speaker 1: dishes have been in there?
Speaker 2: I do, Yeah, I do recall my mom, my older
Speaker 2: brother Adam. Not to call you out, I hope you will,
Speaker 2: but he's not listening. He used to never put his
Speaker 2: dishes in the in the dishwasher and he just leave
Speaker 2: it on the kitchen table. I do recall mum putting
Speaker 2: that in his bed.
Speaker 1: An generational thing. But we didn't never have a dishwasher.
Speaker 1: Because we're no, we just didn't. We just didn't have one.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what we lived in a rental back
Speaker 1: then they didn't. Now they're like standard. But like it was,
Speaker 1: it was an ongoing threat from my dad, which course
Speaker 1: would probably handed down from here.
Speaker 2: So I should threaten to put the eggs in Marley's bed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do see what happens? Just be like or older.
Speaker 1: If you don't eat it, now, next time you ask
Speaker 1: me for something to eat, this is what you'll be eating.
Speaker 1: So like, for example, I don't want to disagree with
Speaker 1: you here because kids always go go like, say for dinner,
Speaker 1: they're like, I'm full, and then they're like, I want
Speaker 1: to snack, and it's like whoa, whoa, whah, whoa whoa.
Speaker 1: If you're fool, you can't eat a snack. And if
Speaker 1: you want to snack, you must be hungry. So if
Speaker 1: you're hungry, he's dinner.
Speaker 2: Laura is going to be so confused when she's like,
Speaker 2: why do we have moldy eggs in Marley's bed?
Speaker 1: Yeah? All week? I think a lesson from Ash. I
Speaker 1: think if she wants to have a melt down over it,
Speaker 1: let her have the melt down and go there's still
Speaker 1: nothing else, so that she knows that even though she
Speaker 1: melts down, she's not going to get the results she wants.
Speaker 1: Am I a genius or not? I think like, I'm
Speaker 1: not having that. If Mazie this thing where they're like,
Speaker 1: I want a banana, love that for it's great. Take
Speaker 1: one bite and I catch him trying to put it
Speaker 1: in the bin, and I'm like, get it out of
Speaker 1: the bin. Now you're eating it. Get it out of
Speaker 1: the bin. You're not eating anything else. Or you can
Speaker 1: go to bed and it could be like nine in
Speaker 1: the morning, You're going to bed like that's the threat
Speaker 1: and usually gets them.
Speaker 2: Usually a few times my kids have slept thirteen hours.
Speaker 1: I'm dusting that banana off and it's going straight in
Speaker 1: my mouth. I'll go Another question this is that was
Speaker 1: a one I threw in there. That was a host question.
Speaker 1: That was a host question.
Speaker 2: Has this from Jessica Oh, how to stop a twenty
Speaker 2: two month old from hitting, pinching, biting her four year
Speaker 2: old sister without us smacking her?
Speaker 1: Have you have that you're not smacking your children? Because
Speaker 1: but why is it always the younger one hitting the
Speaker 1: older one?
Speaker 2: Because Macey's the same I think, what does she doing
Speaker 2: to ask her?
Speaker 1: She just she sits on him. He just teases him
Speaker 1: because he It's all about the reaction of the other kid.
Speaker 1: I would say, just a four year old really react
Speaker 1: and if so, the other one knows they're going to
Speaker 1: get a little reaction out of it. And we're all
Speaker 1: about reactions. I don't My kids, thankfully don't bite. They
Speaker 1: definitely hit each other, but not with any malice.
Speaker 2: This is controversial and I'm definitely not condoning this type
Speaker 2: of behavior because she is saying she doesn't want to
Speaker 2: resort to violence, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because that would just make it then the kids think
Speaker 1: it's okay to hit people. Okay, that's what I'm.
Speaker 2: Saying, but just hear me out.
Speaker 1: Depends what you're hit him with.
Speaker 2: And I will just preface this and say it's not me.
Speaker 2: I didn't do this. I'm also not saying that other
Speaker 2: people should do this, but I'm just giving it. I'm
Speaker 2: just giving an example of what happened with a family
Speaker 2: friend of ours.
Speaker 1: I'm locked in.
Speaker 2: Okay, so they had a child I was younger when
Speaker 2: when this is happening. They had a child that wouldn't
Speaker 2: stop biting out kids was a serial bitter. It was
Speaker 2: like almost like a cannibal, just like to taste other people.
Speaker 2: He just wouldn't stop biting. And it was a real
Speaker 2: problem because no one likes a bitter. That's like, that's
Speaker 2: one of I think the worst scenarios. If you're in
Speaker 2: the park and your kid is biting other kids.
Speaker 1: They must be embarrassing. It's embarrassing and people listening with that.
Speaker 1: I don't know, because thankfully my kids are perfect. It's
Speaker 1: like what.
Speaker 2: People who have been that situation, it's like a low point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sucks. That sucks.
Speaker 2: It's a tricky one. So she was in that scenario,
Speaker 2: and I remember my mom was speaking to her and
Speaker 2: saying like, this is what you should try doing. Obviously,
Speaker 2: like they're trying to talk it out. Then one day
Speaker 2: she came in and she's like, I fixed the problem.
Speaker 2: So she caught him biting someone. She just then turned around.
Speaker 2: You know where this is going. No, she just bit
Speaker 2: her kid. She gave him a taste of his own medicine.
Speaker 1: Oh my.
Speaker 2: God, never bit again. I don't know how hard she
Speaker 2: was biting him, but I think she would have. She
Speaker 2: made him like do.
Speaker 1: We actually do do we actually have a conversation about
Speaker 1: this before where April pretended to because Macy went to
Speaker 1: or Oscar went like like a Nora on her arm,
Speaker 1: but not like a by like a oh and April
Speaker 1: did it back. I don't remember that. And he went
Speaker 1: and she was like see, you know, you know it
Speaker 1: didn't actually buy it? Did it work? The jury is out?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: She's going to be more forceful. She got to drop blood?
Speaker 1: Is that what happened? You have to bite a finger
Speaker 1: off for it to work. Let me get lest trade
Speaker 1: this person? Kid? Yeah, bit another kid at her park.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know the exact location.
Speaker 1: Actually, if you're going to go specifics, okay, just say
Speaker 1: just let's hypothetically was it a park? Then her reaction
Speaker 1: his or her reaction their own kid. They bit their
Speaker 1: own kid. How do you like it? Situation exactly?
Speaker 2: And they never bit again, never well bit again. And
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that we should go out there and
Speaker 2: start biting our own kids.
Speaker 1: I hope you're not saying that because that will get
Speaker 1: us canceled. But there's a munch of vampires that there
Speaker 1: going that's wrong with.
Speaker 2: All I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That's pretty red heart.
Speaker 2: I say I mean, as Laura says, like, we've got
Speaker 2: a three year old who still has a dummy where
Speaker 2: we don't know how to stamp out that kind of
Speaker 2: negative behavior, so you probably shouldn't come to me for advice.
Speaker 1: It's also like that when you go through school and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, they say, treat others how you want
Speaker 1: to be treated, spit like that sort of situation. So
Speaker 1: maybe we'll go with it. Maybe don't bite your kids?
Speaker 1: Maybe go how would you like it if I bit?
Speaker 1: You know that general parenting stuff sucks? Yeah, it does can.
Speaker 1: By the way, get it set a knuckle duster. You're
Speaker 1: a parent out there, bite your kids or not to
Speaker 1: do that or not? Will emphasize are you going to
Speaker 1: bite me or not? I have a question for you.
Speaker 1: This is from Lucinda. Hello, Lucinda high Lycinder. It's a
Speaker 1: very pretty name. It's a beautiful Listen to Bell.
Speaker 2: Was a girl on my primary school Lovely, lovely young
Speaker 2: lady Lucinda Bell Cinder.
Speaker 1: Bell could be her. Lucy Goosey, Listen to Bell. What
Speaker 1: what's wrong with that? Lucy Goosey? Listen to Bell. You
Speaker 1: don't know how she turned out?
Speaker 2: Fuck is wrong with you?
Speaker 1: Who? Handles bedtime at your place. She goes on to say,
Speaker 1: we had to do a full contract right up and
Speaker 1: sign it.
Speaker 2: Who doesn't, Oh, it's tough, it is.
Speaker 1: At what point do you get to the stage where
Speaker 1: it's like we need a contract? Did he like marriage?
Speaker 1: Bedtime contract? Lawyers? Like? You want to do what? Now?
Speaker 1: What do you want to get drawn up? I don't
Speaker 1: think you can do that. Do it? Are you gonna
Speaker 1: do it or not?
Speaker 2: We share it, We share it, but every now and then, Like,
Speaker 2: there's definitely parts of the bedtime routine that I lean into.
Speaker 2: There's parts that I absolutely hate.
Speaker 1: What do you hate?
Speaker 2: I'm glad you asked defeeding of the dinner?
Speaker 1: Was that part of the bedtime routine?
Speaker 2: But surely that's part of in bed no because it
Speaker 2: always goes like for us anyway, it's very quick, quick success.
Speaker 1: Leaning into nighttime routine, it's very different.
Speaker 2: What do you mean nighttime? It's it's all the same.
Speaker 2: It's all the same. I'm gonna lump it all in
Speaker 2: because we have dinner, we have a bit of quiet time,
Speaker 2: have the bath, PJS on, we're asleep.
Speaker 1: So that's the night nighttime, nighttime route. You just said
Speaker 1: it I.
Speaker 2: Don't want to get into an argument. So bath is
Speaker 2: is that included?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: How the fuck is a bath included? And the dinner's not.
Speaker 2: Let's not fight on the podcast. Do you what I
Speaker 2: started doing? Didn't like the bath? I now get in
Speaker 2: the bath.
Speaker 1: With them we naked.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I wear my budgies.
Speaker 1: That'll be weird.
Speaker 2: No, no judgment if you do go on the in
Speaker 2: the bath naked. I feel like shower You're allowed to
Speaker 2: be naked.
Speaker 1: Ba I love those shower means. It's like showering winters
Speaker 1: balls in the head.
Speaker 2: I wear my budgies in the bath and I and
Speaker 2: I find it makes it more fun and it also
Speaker 2: it's easier.
Speaker 1: It's like there pretending to be a dog or a human.
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: Should but brushing teeth. Hate that that sucks.
Speaker 1: Kids don't like it. That's what that's going to go.
Speaker 1: My kid Macey's gone from mintce to toothpaste. She loves toothpaste.
Speaker 2: See also at the moment, I'm a bit off reading
Speaker 2: to the kids unless it's our book, which is also available.
Speaker 1: Breader right now. I love that. I as soon.
Speaker 2: As I start reading, I can't stop yawning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the same. I don't do the reading very often.
Speaker 1: It's for us. It's like we'll bath, like when we're
Speaker 1: sort of in and out of the bathroom at different
Speaker 1: times because we've got you know, April was like, oh,
Speaker 1: remember to do something so we can we use that
Speaker 1: time for the tag team. Yeah, we use that time
Speaker 1: for the other person to clean up downstairs and just
Speaker 1: you know whatever.
Speaker 2: But I would I will take cleaning the kitchen any
Speaker 2: day of over trying to get the kids ready for bed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so then I will get the kids out of
Speaker 1: the bed, April will get Macy ready, and I'm usually
Speaker 1: getting Oscar ready right which he's a silly bugger, so
Speaker 1: you're just like trying to catch him starters. And it's
Speaker 1: like then I'll give the kids a kiss good night,
Speaker 1: and then they'll read with April because she's much more
Speaker 1: patient than me with the reading. When you don't have
Speaker 1: I just don't. I need to get tested. I can't
Speaker 1: handle it. I can't handle it. Boring. There you go.
Speaker 1: I said it, but like I'll do it something else
Speaker 1: you are reading unless you are read to question. I
Speaker 1: do do it sometimes, like if April is out on
Speaker 1: a boozy lunch it's extended.
Speaker 2: Which is most weekends more often than nine.
Speaker 1: Am I right?
Speaker 2: I love your April. I'm I'm joking. Continue.
Speaker 1: She always gets the raw in there. She we love it.
Speaker 1: She goes out once once a quarter a year, once
Speaker 1: a We're like again, we're just milking that one time. Uh,
Speaker 1: And then I'll do the whey you you read the
Speaker 1: start of the book and you're like, and the end
Speaker 1: into bed.
Speaker 2: You gotta you, gotta, you gotta flick a couple of pages.
Speaker 2: I've found, like there's nothing more nerve racking when you're
Speaker 2: reading a book. And in my head, I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: this is a long book. I'm just gonna like as
Speaker 2: I turn this page, I'm going to clump in three
Speaker 2: or four pages together and then I turn it. Marley
Speaker 2: is so bloody smart. She's like, what are you doing that.
Speaker 1: You miss the synopsis? She's like, what happened there? She's like,
Speaker 1: I know the sequences.
Speaker 2: She knows sequence to calls me out of it. Lolla
Speaker 2: has no idea.
Speaker 1: She's just like, this is grated down, yeah, getting down there.
Speaker 1: And pant April does this thing where she reads the
Speaker 1: book but changes the words to like not naughty words,
Speaker 1: but like you know, balm and pooh and shit like that,
Speaker 1: where she's like and the bum bum king, and like Oscar.
Speaker 2: Always gets to laugh love, I always get to laugh,
Speaker 2: and I.
Speaker 1: Think it's funny from the other room while I'm like
Speaker 1: cleaning up or doing anything. But like it's mainly April
Speaker 1: doing like from me getting Oscar dressed to give them
Speaker 1: both kissing our little cuddle. She's usually and then it
Speaker 1: gives me a chance because I also make the dinner
Speaker 1: for us, so sometimes it's finishing touching of the dinner whatever.
Speaker 2: I would love to know what everyone's preference is, the
Speaker 2: dinner and cleanup or bath in bed.
Speaker 1: Yes, dinner and clean up is much easier.
Speaker 2: Ah doesn't talk back, It doesn't yell at it doesn't.
Speaker 1: It doesn't. Sometimes I take the rubbish out a little
Speaker 1: bit quiet time, a dude. I come back back my
Speaker 1: head and see if they're still wake them up and
Speaker 1: gone back ahead, go to the recycling. That's good, very good,
Speaker 1: that's good gear.
Speaker 2: We should get out of here.
Speaker 1: We should.
Speaker 2: That cat's being locked in my bedroom without the key
Speaker 2: litter and I'm ninety percent sure I've got diarrhea in
Speaker 2: the carpet.
Speaker 1: Cat poo is gross.
Speaker 2: I'm going to sort that out. But if you have
Speaker 2: liked this episode, please we would love it if you
Speaker 2: were to share it with anyone out there. Doesn't have
Speaker 2: to be a parent, could be a non parent, just
Speaker 2: not a pet parent. They may enjoy this episode and
Speaker 2: get a laugh.
Speaker 1: The pet parents might like this episode because you pretend
Speaker 1: to be a pet yes, which usually pets a lot
Speaker 1: a lot of pet chat. But you're not welcome.
Speaker 2: And give us a review yes on Spotify or Apple podcast,
Speaker 2: be great, whatever you prefer.
Speaker 1: You're preferent up to you.
Speaker 2: You decide, and oh yeah, one thing before we go.
Speaker 2: We have a Facebook group. It's currently sitting at a
Speaker 2: whopping one hundred and twenty eight members room for one more,
Speaker 2: potentially maybe two Doting Dads on Facebook.
Speaker 1: Yes, find us.
Speaker 2: You can request to be accepted and then we will
Speaker 2: think about it. If you're a pet parent, will we
Speaker 2: will let it marinate. If there's any profile pictures with
Speaker 2: pets included, be careful.
Speaker 1: You're out of there.
Speaker 2: We'll see next week.
Speaker 1: Bye bye.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land see and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.