WEBVTT - #66 Are You Going To Dirty Talk.... Or Not? 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:01.600 Matt Before we get into the episode today, I just 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:04.440 want to wish all the mothers out there a happy 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:08.000 Mother's Day for Sunday. Just gone. Absolutely. My mum's in 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:10.200 town at the moment, just sort of stuck in town. 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:13.000 It's a long story. And also April's mum. I don't 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:16.360 know if you knew that. I had my suspicions, So 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:19.120 happy Mother's Day. You're doing a fantastic job to all 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:19.959 the mums out there. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.439 I also want to say to all the moms out there, 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:25.080 thank you. I hope you had a fantastic Mother's Day, 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:29.360 in particular my beautiful wife Laura, my mother. Raising a 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:31.680 family is incredibly hard, but the two of you do 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:34.760 an amazing job. I love you so thank you. 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:35.360 We do. 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:55.520 Thank you for your service. Welcome back to two doting dads. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:57.240 I am Mattie Jay and I'm at. 0:00:57.560 --> 0:00:59.760 This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.520 the bad, and the related. If you have come wanting 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:05.840 any type of advice, this is the wrong podcast for you. 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:11.240 Yes, hey, before we do get into it, I was 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:13.959 away on the weekend. I went to a wedding and 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:16.039 at the wedding they had a beer package which was 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:19.839 subpar for me. I will say, if they're listening, I'm 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:24.399 sorry they didn't have stone wood. Okay, they had stonewood there. 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:27.319 I had to pay for it. Oh, that wasn't included. 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.600 That's cheeky, that's cheeky. I get it, like people went 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.679 with different packages because different tastes. It's not catered for me. 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:37.399 But also it's very sneaky. It's like saying, would you 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:39.479 like a glass of water? We have gut of water 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:43.679 for free. So we have ice sparkling, which is gonna 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:44.319 question money, And. 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:46.240 It was ten bucks a beer because it was an establishment. 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:48.840 So I spent one hundred and fifty dollars on beers 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:51.280 that day at a wedding, and I gave him a 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:51.960 wedding gift. 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:55.560 Why don't you bring your own just up rock up 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:57.000 with a carton of stone woods. 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:59.080 Yes, but that leads me into what we're drinking today, 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:01.600 which is specific gale and it is stone and wood 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:05.880 of course ah barn being a bottle. It is bar 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:09.080 and bay cheers. So just like it tasted on the weekend. 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:12.280 Question for you, We've given a few different scenarios of 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.560 where the beer tastes better. We have barbecue at home, 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:18.560 we have the football. Where does the wedding rank in 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:20.040 improving that to what? 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:23.440 After a subpar crispy laga that they had going on there, 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:27.440 and it was worth every cent it was up there 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:32.280 because everyone was walking around with their crap bins. But 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:33.320 I just have to pay for it. 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:36.040 But then that money then gets that you spent gets 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:39.400 reinvested in the podcast. So it's just the cycle of 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:40.200 life keeps. 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:42.720 Going of life. So we would like to thank Stonewood 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:45.799 for making this episode possible. 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:49.000 Cheers, Cheers to you, Cheers to us, Cheers to them, 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:52.160 Cheers to all of us. Ash before I forget, we 0:02:52.240 --> 0:02:54.520 have something very exciting that we've come up with. If 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:56.000 you would like to get your hands in a free 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:58.280 case of stone, would beer? All you have to do 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:00.760 is put a story up on so media of you 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.440 listening to the pod tag us Tagstone and Wood, and 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:05.760 we'll pick one person per week to have a case 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:08.520 of b sent directly to the home. But we'll put 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:10.720 those details in the show notes. How are you man, 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:11.680 I'm good. 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:14.320 We did go away, like I said, we did go 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:16.919 on holidays. Well okay, let me stop. 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:20.040 We am seeing that wedding. No, I was just relaxing. 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:22.560 I was just an enjoyer of weddings. It was a 0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:25.000 lovely wedding. I shouldn't I shouldn't shit on them. It 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:28.320 was a lovely wedding, great view, great outlook. But it 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:31.040 was a wedding in which we didn't take the children. 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:35.280 So of course we got to travel without the kids together. 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:39.480 April and I have for the weekend just solo. It's beautiful. 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.680 It takes a little while to acclimatize that new environment. 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.400 It's like you've forgotten your keys or something like something's missing. 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:47.480 That's right, my screaming children. 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:51.000 Yeah it was. It was peaceful. But with you know, 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:55.080 a mummy and daddy weekend, mummy and daddy things tend 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:59.680 to happen, go on. So we did travel with another couple. 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:02.520 They didn't have their kids. Obviously. It was great, nice 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:06.120 and free flowing chat about all sorts of things. As 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:10.360 adult weekends happen. Adult things can sometimes happen. Where are 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:14.560 you going? So we were traveling carry on because we 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.680 just went for two nights. We sort of got We 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:20.960 got halfway through the security line and I leer over 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:22.839 to what April was doing on the phone, and she 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:26.360 was googling something quite suspicious. Matthew, what do you think 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:27.080 she was googling? 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.920 Maybe like liquids, like how much you can Yeah, you know, 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.839 because everyone's always a bit confused about domestic versus international. 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.400 I think you like, I still don't know was. 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:37.800 It was it? 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:41.200 Did you like a bottle of water, like a therapy water? 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.760 What a women like to bring them all? No? 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:47.120 No, they like it's a comfort, Give me one second. 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:48.960 An emotional support water bottle? 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:50.200 Oh, yes, water bottle. 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:53.280 No, it's an emotional support water bottle. What's the difference? 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:57.040 It provides emotional support. How the bigger the water bottle, 0:04:57.120 --> 0:05:00.360 the more support for us you get. 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:02.760 We should make drink bottles that have a little pep 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:04.680 talking and see press the button. It's like you can do. 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:08.640 It and make it massive, bigger than the standing. 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.320 Yeah. So she had to check that in. Yeah, that 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:14.039 wasn't in a garret, and she check that in. Anyway, 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.479 she got a bit freaked out midway through the line 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:21.040 because the person that security was going laptops out of 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:22.920 the bag, you know how they do that sort of stuff, 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.800 And she was googling if she can take sex toys 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.760 through carry on? What kind of sex toys. 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.919 Is she bringing ones that have like serrated edges and 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:33.599 a lighter? 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:36.200 She was worried that she was going to get it 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:40.400 like a laptop, get it out of her bag, put 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:46.039 it onto the xtra. How many did she have with her? No, 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.000 she just had the one. She just had the one, 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:54.760 Thank you, Amy Gerard. She just had the one. But 0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:56.719 it was really funny because I was like, what are 0:05:56.760 --> 0:05:59.240 you doing? And she's googling can I take sex toys? On? 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.480 Carry on? And what was Google telling her? We didn't 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:05.560 get that? Viger put a stop to that immediately. 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.400 Never tries to google, first and foremost. 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:09.640 First of all, I was guaranteed I was getting some 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:11.839 on the weekend. So that's a did you know? Did 0:06:11.880 --> 0:06:13.640 you know what was in the bag? Did you know? 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.720 So you were like and then she was like, oh, 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:19.200 hang on a minute, can you carry my bag for me? Ah? 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:26.080 It was my bag And obviously you don't have to 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.679 get it out like it's a laptop because the laptop 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:30.000 that it's like, I don't know what the deal is 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.320 with that? Is it the lithium? I was like, I 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:37.279 don't know, must be like a petrol powered sex toys? 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.200 Like make sure you get that out of she's got 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:46.719 a pull start to stroke to stroke is correct. She 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:48.640 was like, come on, just stack my bag for me. 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:50.120 I was like, pretend it's your bag. 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:54.120 But also, do you think that the way that you 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.320 were acting, like if April was getting a little bit 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.120 flustered and she's like you carry it and you're like, 0:06:58.160 --> 0:06:59.719 I'm not carrying it, you carry it, do you reckon? 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:01.719 Security would have been looking at the two of you 0:07:01.800 --> 0:07:03.480 going this is a red flag. 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:05.839 I said, let's just let's just get it out, and 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:08.440 she's like, don't, don't you dare. 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:12.400 You guys are like showing all the signs for suspicious 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:14.160 people who are potentially. 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:18.320 Carrying something that cavity search. You didn't get it, No, 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.400 you didn't get it out. She was very she said, 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.200 I'll be so embarrassed if you get it. I said, 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:24.400 but it's my bag. Apparently, so I had to take 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:26.920 the bag through and that way, if it was like Sarah, 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:29.360 is this your bag? I would have had to be like, yes, 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:30.440 that is my bag. 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:32.559 Do you think the guy sitting there in the chair 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:35.960 looking at the screen as things are being X ray 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:38.240 do you reckon? He could have seen that thing and he. 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:39.560 Would have seen that next to a bottle of a 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:45.240 loom and something's not right. My man, I wonder why 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.360 the back took forever to come through. But I can 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:49.480 imagine that they would have to deal with that scenario 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.960 a lot, right, be like people just go on to 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:54.240 Carrol On especially it's like two people, you know, like 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:57.920 a couple going away. They would see some serious shit. Yeah. 0:07:58.000 --> 0:08:00.560 So if you operate one of those machines, what have 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:02.000 you seen? What have you seen? 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:06.960 Look, if you've seen one of those fists, there's big, black, 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:11.880 giant side of judgment. It's like it's like up to 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:12.480 your elbow. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:16.600 Yeah, I'm not getting any because of it. In a 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:18.960 second a second, No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:22.920 Here's tricky. It is tricky when you're away from the 0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:25.360 kids and you're at something like a wedding, because on 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.560 the one hand, you're like, oh, man, i'm child free, 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.080 I can let LuSE, I can have fun, I can party. 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:36.400 But then at the same time, these days, I dare say, 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:40.520 once it gets past eleven o'clock and I've had a 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:44.120 bit to drink, yeah, the chances of having a little snuggle. 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:49.520 Yeah, Aka, there's a scale. Yeah, So April always says 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:54.000 she wants to be at peak performance. She's an athlete. Happening, 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.000 it's not happening after you've had a couple of drinks. 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:58.440 She takes pride in her work, and I like that 0:08:58.480 --> 0:08:58.880 about her. 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.400 Yeah, yeah, so it's like a next day thing. But 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:05.760 also we were sharing an airbnb with another couple, so 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:08.400 it's like she's also trying to be discreet. I don't 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:09.720 know how that would have happened. 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:11.000 And you are quite loud. 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:18.439 I'm allowed, man, Yeah, yeah, I love that. You're like, 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:23.439 wait a second, no, I'm not anyway, it was lovely weekend, 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:26.320 So that's how I am. Can I ask? Yes? 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:28.000 Can I ask? If I may? 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.000 And I do? What is this? 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:33.199 It's fluff on the table, could be my cat's fur. 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:36.800 Can I ask? And I don't want to pry too 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.000 much into your private life. I know April doesn't really 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.520 appreciate it too much talking about these types of topics. 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:44.880 She's so sick of being embarrassed. But yes, I'll. 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:47.600 Put this one on you. Then do you do you 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:52.679 do much? How do you say? Dirty talk in the bedroom? 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:55.280 Nothing? What am I going to say? Oh? Those dishes 0:09:55.280 --> 0:09:59.360 really need a good clean And I mean no, come back. 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:01.440 No, no, no, you don't give like a little bit 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:03.840 of some something you know, like you ever give. 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:05.680 Like is this a sex podcast? 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.880 Because I'm also I'm not one to be very vocal 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:13.200 in the bedroom. Every now and then I sometimes give 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:16.040 like a oh, like that's great, that's good. 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:18.080 Awkward, but no, do you know what makes it even 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:20.280 more awkward? What's that? 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:25.360 Or Like recently, recently, Laura and I we were intimate 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:31.160 if you will, if you will, and and I was like, 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.199 I was like, I'm going to throw some some get 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.480 some words out, I'm going to say some things. I'm 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:40.120 going to like, you know, I just I feel like 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:41.240 Laura really likes it. 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:42.000 She loves it. 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.480 She loves it when I'm vocal. But there's nothing more 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:50.160 awkward than someone like myself who was not very vocal, 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:53.319 who was trying to be vocal, and you know, when 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:56.600 you're thinking about the words you're about to say, and 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:58.319 the more you think about it, she's you got to 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:00.440 just get it out. And I'm thinking, is that gonna 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.000 sound weird to say it? To say to say it, 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.080 and I said it, but I said it to quietly. 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:10.280 And then Laura said, huh, well that's sexy and you're like, 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:11.080 do you like that? 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.640 What do you say? I'm like, you said, do you 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:20.240 like that? Oh my god, my skin's crawling. That's so awkward. No, 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:31.680 do you like that? No? Oh yeah, I'm not into that. 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:35.400 That is so especially when she's especially just like, what 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:42.840 did you say? I like that? What do you meant 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.760 to say? Nothing? What do people? 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:47.040 It's hard? 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:51.360 I just think it's hard. I'm sorry, Laura. There's people 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:54.600 that like do it, and there's people who don't. 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.959 I feel like ninety nine percent of guys don't say anything. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:03.400 No, they would, there'd be women listening right now, going 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:05.960 I haven't had a man ever say anything. It's the best. 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:07.640 It's the only time. It's probably the only time. I 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:08.240 don't say. 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.760 If there's any female people's happy for the quiet time. 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:16.839 If there's any female listeners, just a couple of and 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:20.640 like our dms are going to be say, full of filth. 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:25.160 What's what's a line that you wouldn't mind hearing during sex? 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:30.600 Help a guy out, help a man out, help two 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:34.520 men out? Wow, who are struggling? Actually speaking about the 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:35.240 topic of. 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:40.640 Sleep, sexual sleep? Or is this actual sleep? This is 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:43.640 actual sleep? So actual sleep. I love sleep. Actual sleep. 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:48.800 Laura very busy during the week, very busy, has a 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:53.360 schedule that is absolutely jam packed in Ashton Wicks and 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:55.640 she's up quite early in the mornings during the week 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:58.960 as well. She's definitely not getting her eight hours so 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.839 come the weekend and she does like a lion does 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:06.720 like a lion, and I'm more, lion, that's terrible. 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.360 That's a terrible was one of your worst? Sorry, we'll 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:11.559 leave it in there. Lie in got it? 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:14.400 And I sometimes say you know that, like that must 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.680 have been a nice lion, And she's like, no, I 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:18.560 didn't get a good night's sleep last night because I 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.040 was up so much with the girls. 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:23.040 First of all, please, that could come across two different ways. 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:25.960 Go on. You don't want to stir the pot by saying, oh, 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:27.640 that must have been a nice lie who she thinks 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:30.680 you've been cheeky? That was a jab a jab, like, no, 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:32.520 it must be nice to lie in. 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:36.160 No, it's that's not it's very aggressive. I don't poke 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:39.920 like that. It's more of a like I did good 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:45.560 to give you that, lion. So now it's your to think, well, 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:49.520 hang on, so that you're just well, I give it, 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:51.600 hang on. Let we're getting off track here. Okay, so 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.679 we're getting off track here and I'm being attacked, which 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:57.240 I also don't appreciate. Okay, this is a safe place. 0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:59.800 You should know that as you were. I never judge 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:05.760 you bullshit. But she was like, I just I still 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:09.120 feel tired even though I've been in bed for you know, eight. 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:10.959 Funny must have overslept. 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.600 But she said, I'm up all night, all throughout the night. 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:18.439 And I was like, let me just check my stats. 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:19.960 Because I wear my garm into bed. I like to 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:21.560 have a little glance from now and then how my 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:23.920 sleep is going. I was up last night for four 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:25.080 minutes totally. 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:25.720 That's pretty good. 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:29.480 My garment gives me that reading and four minutes. Yeah, 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:32.880 I'm a pretty heavy sleeper. And Laura was like, She's 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:36.120 like that's like that's that must be bloody nice to 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.880 only be like that normal. I don't know for people. 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:41.160 So Laura couldn't believe it. Laura was like, I'm up 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:42.960 at least seven eight times throughout the night. And I 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:46.360 was like, no, you're not like that. That's an exaggeration. 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:50.000 I know, I know. So I said, I said, look 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:52.800 where the garment. Where the garment. Let's track your sleep, 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:56.040 and recently, on Laura's podcast Life un Cut, she has 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:56.760 said this. 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:00.600 Saturday afternoon, we went to a friend's house, had quite 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:03.120 a few margaritas in the afternoon, and I was feeling 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.040 a little bit spicy and dicey. Anyway, went to bed 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:08.240 Matt that night. He was like, Okay, where my gum 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.760 and see how your sleep is. Not only do I 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:12.320 know that I woke up so much during the night, 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:14.840 because but when I'm a bit hungover, I can't sleep, 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:18.240 so I'm awake, like laying at the ceiling awake. Not 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:19.880 only that, did I get it? I got up three 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.720 times for Lola. Lola came into the bed, I went 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:24.440 up and I got a bottle of water. Anyway, I 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.040 woke up in the morning and I was like, I'm 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:28.840 so glad. I am so glad I wore the garment 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.880 last night. Because he's going to see just how bad 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:34.960 my sleep was. Eight hours and twenty five minutes awake 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:35.680 for two minutes. 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:37.920 She's essentially blamed. 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:42.920 She's blaming the technology. I mean, someone is reputable as garment. 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:44.400 I don't know how long they've been in operation. I 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:45.880 want to say, look, I've got to gripe with him. 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:46.280 At the morment. 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:49.680 I know you do, but also you and Laura both 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:51.360 She's just you're cut from the same cloth. 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:55.480 She's you can't okay it's been attached to your wrist 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.600 or not. And you're saying that it's giving Matt one 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:01.760 reading and you're completely different reading, and you're not willing 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:02.760 to accept that. 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:07.200 I will say, I will say deep sleep two hours 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:11.520 eighteen light sleep six hours, twenty one minutes. Rem not 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.720 enough here thirty three minutes. Guess how long she was 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:15.200 awake for? 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:16.560 How long? 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:25.080 Two minutes? Two minutes? 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:29.880 How dare she? You'll have a dig at you? I can, 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:34.160 I can see her face right now. Just be like, no, 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.080 that's not true. I was up hoops of times. 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:41.880 She rips the garment off, smashes it on the ground. 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:46.080 That's unbelievable. The garment doesn't lie. Bro, You're awake six 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.240 minutes in the middle of the night like that. I 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:51.400 checked mine. I'm awake forty eight minutes. What are you 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:54.160 doing for forty eight minutes? I'm usually getting smacked in 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:57.720 the face by Oscar. He cannot sleep in his bed 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:01.480 to save his life. Wow, Like he is in He 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:03.440 does this thing where he gets in and just puts 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:05.480 his hands around my throat. Is he trying to kill me? 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:13.240 Macy's still in the cot right. Oscar's in a little, 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:14.280 a little. 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:17.000 Bed, he's in like a single bed. 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.359 Does he ever say, Daddy, come in line in bed 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:19.600 with me? 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.280 No, he's he can't because he's in my He thinks 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:23.520 my bed's his bed, so. 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.560 He never asks you to come into his bed. 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:29.280 Okay, No, I have done the thing where he comes 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:31.080 into me and I've gone I'm not putting up with this, 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:33.520 and I just go straight in his bed. Yeah, oh yeah, 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:35.800 that's slack. And then I wake up. Macy's mate, like, 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:37.440 wake up next to Mazie and she's like. 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:37.960 Oh. 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:43.000 So much? Is that what looks like. 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:50.080 Lola does a thing rarely happens with me, happens always 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:53.560 with Laura. Obviously the favorite where she'll say, like, come 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:55.360 into bed with me, Like she wakes up, she can't 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:57.159 find a dummy. You go in the room, give her 0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:59.080 the dummy, and then she's like, hop in a bed 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:02.680 with me for the first time. Wow, for the first 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:06.800 time last night ever. Maybe it's happened once a week, 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:08.879 you can remember, Yeah, I have a bad memory. 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:13.880 Let's for four minutes. But she was like, I gave 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:14.520 her the dummy. 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.720 Was waiting for her to say, not you you're prick. 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:18.520 Where's mom? 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.399 That didn't happen. It's not long enough to be she 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.879 can smell me even when she's asleep. She's like, sounds 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.280 like it smells like a little bit desperation. It comes 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:31.919 with a desperate one literally, except that I gave her 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:33.359 the dummy and she then looked at me and she 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:37.480 said coming to bed with me? 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:41.760 Did you just turn the light and goes because then 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:44.280 I was like, I was like, you know, I'm not Laura. 0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:47.679 I don't want to stuff this up, did you? I 0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.679 don't want to stuff it up? Well, I so like slow. 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:54.720 She's also very particular where she's like she's got little 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:58.640 toys and sometimes you know, yeah, and you're like lean 0:18:58.680 --> 0:18:59.520 on a toy and she's like. 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:02.240 Your fucking you cright, you crushing Jimmy, get off with 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:07.200 me animal, and Timmy gets a red So you know, 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:07.600 I'm worried. 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:10.240 I'm like, you know, I don't want to STEP's Laula's 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:12.919 a mum in her bed. She's got a little babies, 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:14.879 her soft toys, So I don't want to damage a 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.040 soft toy. Also sometimes not sure what side she wants 0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:20.880 me to go in, Like there's so many rules, it's 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:21.600 I'm walking on. 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:25.200 Extra it's stuff. Yeah. 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:26.600 But then the harder it is to. 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:29.560 Get Yeah, the more I want it. I know that's 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:31.280 the sad thing about being desperate. 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.159 But I got into bed with her, and it was 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.200 like being in bed with I'm a child. 0:19:40.080 --> 0:19:40.560 I knew. 0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:43.119 I knew that it was coming, the fact that she 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:45.480 was going to say get out, get out of bed. Yeah, 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:46.520 but I was just like. 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:46.800 It's not. 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:48.960 It's not when it's if. But I was like, every 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:52.000 second was the second that I was enjoying savoring. 0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:54.679 How are you fitness in four minutes? I don't know? 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.679 This is before I went to bed. Okay, sorry, So 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:00.159 I was like whoa, No, this was like I was 0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:02.000 hopping in a bed and you know when you go 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:03.679 to bed, in the moment your head hits the pillow, 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:06.560 the kids wake up. Oh yeah, I want to those scenarios. 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.639 I was in bed with her. I got like forty 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:11.720 five seconds. I'm going to say, in bed with her. 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:15.760 But there's a reason, Ash, there is a reason why 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.520 she's warm to me. Okay, something that I'm now doing 0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:21.200 do it give it during during the day. 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:23.520 Is this a visual? I'm going to get to see something. 0:20:23.720 --> 0:20:27.040 This, my friend, is a visual and we will put 0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:29.880 this on socials because maybe there are some parents out 0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:33.399 there who have a child that hates them. This trick 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:37.120 to trick maybe all you need to get those kids 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:40.680 back on side. Yeah, okay, watch this video and see 0:20:40.680 --> 0:20:42.720 if you can figure out what the heck is. 0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:44.880 Oh that's you. 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:45.040 You go. 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:51.800 So handsome? Oh don't who have you got Therekay? Is 0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:58.840 your doggie? Does he need a little pat on his nose? Maybe? 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:08.119 Eat you your dog? He's gonna eat me. So the 0:21:08.160 --> 0:21:10.359 hack is pretend to be to pretend to be another pant. 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:16.359 I have to pretend to be a dog, and it 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:21.840 works like a charm. It's it's unbelievable. Never seen hold 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:23.960 your head or anything like that. But the issue is like, 0:21:24.080 --> 0:21:27.280 whenever I'm not the dog, she's like, be the dog again. 0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:28.679 You get down on a little floors. 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:33.879 She loves to ride me. Oh my god, it's but 0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:35.879 nothing has been more effective. 0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:37.440 She who gave you this tip? 0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:41.240 It kind of just wire playing one day and I 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:44.080 kind of just organically fell into the role of the dog. 0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:47.120 And then from that moment on I saw she her 0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:50.600 eyes lit up and she was like, ah my puppy, 0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:55.399 And I was like, got four buses? Yeah, first a cat. 0:21:56.320 --> 0:21:58.200 Now the guy who owns me is starting to act 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:04.160 like a dog in his grass. I can't I got 0:22:04.160 --> 0:22:08.080 three legs. Lola can't get enough of me. That's good 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:10.520 as a dog. So I read her a bedtime story 0:22:10.520 --> 0:22:10.840 and I'm like. 0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:19.480 A leg would you completely ruined it? Yeah? I mean 0:22:19.560 --> 0:22:23.439 it is concerning telling her friends going, Dad's lost it. 0:22:23.840 --> 0:22:27.439 No, I reckon lost, I reckon She she loves it. 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:32.399 She's like this pathetic guy. She's like, I've managed to 0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:34.520 get him to pretend to be a dog, and he's 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:37.440 fucking taking a hook line and Sinker took the bit 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:42.160 and she's like, he's such a loser, he will do anything. 0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:46.560 They're at Kindy now, sitting around the blocks going guess what. 0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:49.440 She's like, Yeah, you couldn't believe. I get him eating 0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:52.680 outside now from a dog bowl. He can't ship or 0:22:52.720 --> 0:22:57.040 piss inside the house. Him and Buster just keeps coming 0:22:57.040 --> 0:22:58.760 back for more. I've noticed if you have a dog 0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:03.080 bed in the bedroom, must be mine. That's mine. So 0:23:03.760 --> 0:23:09.680 if ever she's having a tantrum, it's a little it takes. 0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:11.320 Is that why you barked at me when I came in? 0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:15.760 Yeah, I'm so. I'm in character now. I bit the 0:23:15.800 --> 0:23:19.119 postman when he came yesterday, just to impress. 0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:23.440 Lola, poor buster. The things we do, the things you do, 0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:25.720 the things you have to do to gain the love 0:23:26.600 --> 0:23:31.320 of your child, And honestly, you've really scraped the bottom 0:23:31.320 --> 0:23:34.240 of the barrel. I'll stop at nothing. That's good to know. Yeah, 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:36.960 she was very sweet to you. I could see she's 0:23:37.080 --> 0:23:39.760 very sweet. It's good to know she's like that nice 0:23:39.800 --> 0:23:43.080 to animals. But she's got it in her. She does 0:23:43.119 --> 0:23:45.080 have it in it. Just not going to be with 0:23:45.119 --> 0:23:47.120 a dog for the rest of your her eighteenth birthday 0:23:47.240 --> 0:23:54.199 walking down the wedding Very good. Marley and Oscar like 0:23:54.200 --> 0:23:59.760 the same age, and Oscar hasn't quite understand that. Attitude 0:23:59.760 --> 0:24:03.480 and tone also comes into it when you're conversing with someone. 0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:05.320 So I'm chatting with you. If I was like a 0:24:05.400 --> 0:24:08.320 good one, bro, You're like, oh, tone was off. Tone 0:24:08.440 --> 0:24:10.600 was off. If I said good one, bro, you'd be like, 0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:13.679 I love that, love that or something like that. So 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:16.040 Ostri quite hasn't worked it out, but he started to 0:24:16.080 --> 0:24:20.600 do this thing, which it's rude. It's it's fucking rude. 0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:22.040 But he doesn't know that, So I don't know if 0:24:22.080 --> 0:24:25.600 Marley does it too. And it's about the tone in 0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:27.840 which he converses with me. And I'll try and give 0:24:27.840 --> 0:24:29.960 you an example and see where you can pick up 0:24:30.480 --> 0:24:34.720 what I'm talking about. So normal person would say, hey, 0:24:34.840 --> 0:24:39.320 are we going to the park? Question? Very monotoned, straight 0:24:39.320 --> 0:24:42.359 out yeah, no attitude, Yes, no question. He's picked up 0:24:42.400 --> 0:24:44.280 this thing where he goes, are we going to the 0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:48.399 park or not? I love that, But he does it 0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:51.680 with everything. He'd be like he was like eating rice 0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:54.280 bubbles and he was like, oh, can I have some more? Please? 0:24:54.600 --> 0:24:59.679 Really lovely? I was like yeah. He was like, are 0:24:59.680 --> 0:25:03.119 you gonna me some moral not just adding the or not? 0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:07.160 Such like or not? Should I just give up? Wanting 0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:09.080 an extra bit of milk? He said this morning because 0:25:09.080 --> 0:25:10.680 we were talking about what he wants his birthday, because 0:25:10.680 --> 0:25:12.679 his birthday's coming up, and that's cool. He said, you're 0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:15.119 gonna get me a president or not? That's exactly what 0:25:15.200 --> 0:25:18.840 he said. But he doesn't know it's it's it's he 0:25:18.880 --> 0:25:21.240 doesn't understand the tone in the conversation. 0:25:21.520 --> 0:25:23.080 How do you explain this to him. 0:25:23.320 --> 0:25:27.720 I can't. I even have tried to sass him back 0:25:27.760 --> 0:25:33.520 and be like, bro, he takes that as a yes 0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:36.359 because I've said, Okay, I love how like you've got. 0:25:36.640 --> 0:25:39.000 You've got two ways of dealing with it. You can 0:25:39.040 --> 0:25:41.440 sit him down and explain the right and wrong way 0:25:41.440 --> 0:25:42.640 to use tone, and you're like. 0:25:43.080 --> 0:25:49.879 Because that'll just would you relax? Bro? Yeah, he's four, 0:25:50.240 --> 0:25:52.560 He's not going to understand here we walking around his 0:25:52.720 --> 0:25:54.960 inflections of his way off. He'd be like one of 0:25:55.040 --> 0:25:57.000 those kids that one of those people grow up with 0:25:57.160 --> 0:26:00.240 like a weird inflection where they just like, don't don't 0:26:00.320 --> 0:26:03.800 quite hit the highd hod on the conversation. So I 0:26:03.840 --> 0:26:06.760 feel like if I sass him back and half he'll 0:26:06.800 --> 0:26:10.040 be like, what's with the chude? And you can be like, 0:26:10.359 --> 0:26:11.439 I'm glad, do you bring it up? 0:26:11.600 --> 0:26:16.000 Or just building his arsenal of tone he's. 0:26:15.800 --> 0:26:18.800 Now yeah, he was like he was. Are you gonna 0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:21.240 hug me or not? Are you gonna cuddle me or not? 0:26:21.880 --> 0:26:23.679 I'll see if I can get some footage of him 0:26:23.720 --> 0:26:27.800 to like how direct it's the or not, especially like 0:26:27.840 --> 0:26:31.320 the most simplest thing. He's like, you're gonna help me 0:26:31.320 --> 0:26:35.960 with my shoes or not. But as like as Malia know, 0:26:36.040 --> 0:26:37.200 the only thing that she does. 0:26:38.320 --> 0:26:41.239 I don't know if it's just something that's ingrained in 0:26:41.320 --> 0:26:44.920 us that isn't necessarily taught. It just happens over time. 0:26:45.680 --> 0:26:49.440 But she rolls her eyes. Oscar he's the worst at 0:26:49.480 --> 0:26:55.360 that rolls attitude. It's unacceptable. Maybe like maybe I don't 0:26:55.359 --> 0:26:57.040 know if other kids are doing it. 0:26:57.080 --> 0:26:59.280 He's so good at it too, those young eyes. 0:26:59.480 --> 0:27:01.960 There's young, so flexible. Literally in the back of it, 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:05.159 like you shipping a season. She's just disgusted in me 0:27:05.200 --> 0:27:07.800 trying to get it ready for bed. But if I say, 0:27:08.280 --> 0:27:10.360 if I say all right, my TV is going off, 0:27:10.359 --> 0:27:13.560 it's time for the bar, She's like. 0:27:16.040 --> 0:27:18.560 Where did this come from? And then you're just gonna 0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:20.080 wait for it to be like are we gonna have 0:27:20.080 --> 0:27:24.200 ice cream or not? Or no or no. It's it's 0:27:24.240 --> 0:27:26.920 a very American thing. They go is that right or no? 0:27:27.480 --> 0:27:28.800 Lola is going to be like are you going to 0:27:28.840 --> 0:27:29.520 be a dog or not? 0:27:29.880 --> 0:27:31.720 Are you going to be a dog or not? Get 0:27:31.720 --> 0:27:34.720 back into it. They need to work on their attitude. 0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:38.240 These kids, speaking of attitude, should be going to our 0:27:38.280 --> 0:27:43.639 favorite segment, which is petty couples please or not? Are 0:27:43.680 --> 0:27:47.840 we going to do this segment or not? Peddy couple, 0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:52.640 welcome down the street, Petty couple, they. 0:27:52.600 --> 0:27:58.240 Kind of like with me couple, I love you. 0:27:58.080 --> 0:28:10.080 But no one can push me quite like you let 0:28:10.080 --> 0:28:12.480 me in on your humor. Man, I hope you will say. 0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:16.480 I fucking love this segment so much because I am 0:28:16.480 --> 0:28:19.280 a very petty person you are as you picked up. 0:28:19.640 --> 0:28:21.800 People always ask me what's Ash like, and I say, 0:28:21.880 --> 0:28:24.119 he's he's lovely, but he's very petty. 0:28:24.119 --> 0:28:26.720 He's very petty, and I honestly I love it the 0:28:26.800 --> 0:28:29.119 repercussions of it down the track when they say Karma, 0:28:29.560 --> 0:28:33.840 I almost welcome kamas a bitch. I should know I'm better. 0:28:34.240 --> 0:28:35.800 Sorry, Jojo sewell, what's up? 0:28:35.880 --> 0:28:38.880 Great new song? Get stream, get my poet. 0:28:40.320 --> 0:28:43.720 Anyone who's not watching eight hours of TikTok a day 0:28:44.200 --> 0:28:45.600 must be very confused right now? 0:28:45.720 --> 0:28:47.920 Yes, okay, anyway, let's get back to it. To Macca. 0:28:48.000 --> 0:28:51.600 This one's from Macca. How Macca says, my husband is 0:28:51.680 --> 0:28:54.800 petty whenever we argue, so much so that he builds 0:28:54.800 --> 0:28:57.720 a pillow for between us in the bed so he 0:28:57.800 --> 0:28:59.920 can't see me or we can't touch it. 0:29:03.920 --> 0:29:04.560 I love that. 0:29:05.320 --> 0:29:09.320 Talk about talk about a child. She says, I have 0:29:09.360 --> 0:29:12.120 a variation of this. Go On, I get the ships 0:29:12.200 --> 0:29:17.719 with April watching TV in bed on her phone and 0:29:17.760 --> 0:29:20.080 then turning all the lights out to get like the 0:29:20.120 --> 0:29:23.840 mood for herself. But I'm trying to sleep, okay, And 0:29:23.880 --> 0:29:24.280 I get. 0:29:24.280 --> 0:29:29.200 The headphones in or a blue light. The other day 0:29:29.320 --> 0:29:30.160 she was doing it. 0:29:30.480 --> 0:29:34.160 And I've set up a pillow fort across where my 0:29:34.320 --> 0:29:36.240 head is so if she turns around, you can see 0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:36.719 my body. 0:29:36.720 --> 0:29:41.760 But I love that. Who knew those skills we learn 0:29:41.840 --> 0:29:44.760 as six year olds building forts would come in handy 0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:45.480 when we're married. 0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:47.640 Yeah, that's what the only time does come in. 0:29:47.720 --> 0:29:49.280 We have like a limit on the number of pillows 0:29:49.280 --> 0:29:49.680 in our bed. 0:29:49.800 --> 0:29:53.640 I'm only allowed one pillow. You're allowed one pillow, one pillow. Yeah. 0:29:56.760 --> 0:29:59.360 When I sleep, just so you know, I sleep my 0:29:59.400 --> 0:30:01.560 elbows out, and so I pushed the pillow. So Laura 0:30:01.560 --> 0:30:05.080 has got me on a She's rationed me to one 0:30:05.160 --> 0:30:06.360 pillow in the bedroom. 0:30:07.400 --> 0:30:11.880 Hey, what's your pillow preference firm or something? I've had that. Oh, 0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:14.960 this is going to be disgusting. Go on, I've had 0:30:14.960 --> 0:30:16.400 the same pillow for the whole time. 0:30:16.480 --> 0:30:20.280 I've been with April thirteen years. How yellow stained is it? 0:30:20.280 --> 0:30:23.840 It's not. It's like a foam pillow. Okay, okay with 0:30:23.960 --> 0:30:24.720 a mesh out one. 0:30:24.760 --> 0:30:27.240 Does it have a use by date? Because some pillows 0:30:27.280 --> 0:30:30.920 now have like you should. It's a marketing plot. Hey, 0:30:30.960 --> 0:30:33.640 this one is from anonymous. You can I just I 0:30:33.680 --> 0:30:36.680 will remind people anonymous or not, Matt, they are anymous. 0:30:36.760 --> 0:30:40.240 You don't have to give your details. Some people, as 0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:41.720 I can appreciate. 0:30:41.720 --> 0:30:42.480 They want to stay. 0:30:42.560 --> 0:30:44.800 And there are a few couples, a few couples who listen, 0:30:45.000 --> 0:30:49.520 both listening and I can imagine hearing in your partner. 0:30:50.000 --> 0:30:51.600 The kids that are listening in the car now as 0:30:51.640 --> 0:30:54.160 it's great that they're talking about parents to this kid. 0:30:54.480 --> 0:30:58.640 So they are anonymous, they say my us here we go. 0:30:58.720 --> 0:31:03.760 My husband listens hello, so you can't say my name. 0:31:04.600 --> 0:31:07.640 He's a five fo worker and he always likes to 0:31:07.680 --> 0:31:10.800 get one last bit of sexy time in before he 0:31:10.840 --> 0:31:11.480 flies out. 0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:12.920 That's completely fair. 0:31:13.920 --> 0:31:17.680 Go so in his last day, when the kids are 0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:21.640 at school, you know, or during daycare, that's the time 0:31:22.360 --> 0:31:26.040 for this sexy time business time. However, if he annoys 0:31:26.080 --> 0:31:28.680 me during the week, for example, if he goes fishing 0:31:29.280 --> 0:31:33.479 and he hasn't done his jobs around the house, sexy 0:31:33.520 --> 0:31:37.640 time is not going to happen. So she says, I 0:31:37.680 --> 0:31:41.640 purposely booked something in during his desired sexy time window 0:31:42.200 --> 0:31:46.200 and say it's the only time they had left and explain, 0:31:46.480 --> 0:31:48.280 you know, I can't take the kids when you're gone, 0:31:48.640 --> 0:31:50.160 so this is my only time to do it. 0:31:52.040 --> 0:31:56.360 Take that clever, clever. And also April says that to me, 0:32:00.200 --> 0:32:03.160 the realization there, it's the only time they could do 0:32:03.240 --> 0:32:05.560 it. It's the only time they could fit me in. Oh really, 0:32:06.080 --> 0:32:08.080 do you know what next time she says that to me, 0:32:08.400 --> 0:32:10.880 I'm going to ring the place and be like, I 0:32:10.960 --> 0:32:12.840 heard this is the only time you can fit her in. 0:32:13.080 --> 0:32:13.480 I reckon. 0:32:13.520 --> 0:32:16.000 They'd be like, it's a husband, just make a make 0:32:16.080 --> 0:32:17.880 up a story code red. 0:32:19.800 --> 0:32:21.040 Should we go into questions? 0:32:21.040 --> 0:32:23.240 May actually before we go into listening questions A really 0:32:23.320 --> 0:32:26.160 quick one. With your breakfast with the kids in the morning, 0:32:26.760 --> 0:32:29.400 do you give them an option or do you just 0:32:29.600 --> 0:32:31.400 make their breakfast and they get what they're given? 0:32:32.000 --> 0:32:33.960 Well, Oscar would say, you gonna give us options or not? 0:32:35.520 --> 0:32:40.040 Little little kid, a little bastard, I give them options. 0:32:40.080 --> 0:32:43.280 I usually would say, what do you want for breakfast, Macy. 0:32:43.800 --> 0:32:47.840 The answer is usually so, which is toast. I got that, okay, 0:32:47.920 --> 0:32:52.080 But lately she's like just gonna kill the voice makes 0:32:52.080 --> 0:32:55.400 He's in the room right now. Oscar's like nursery grains, 0:32:55.480 --> 0:32:58.920 which is nutri nutral grain that he will say toast. 0:32:58.960 --> 0:33:01.680 Now how she says it? Do you do you ever? 0:33:02.440 --> 0:33:05.480 My kids do this all the time, and it does 0:33:05.520 --> 0:33:08.840 my head. In this morning, Marley was like, I want 0:33:08.840 --> 0:33:12.360 scrambled eggs, which I'm happy to do, Jesus, which I'm 0:33:12.400 --> 0:33:14.560 happy to do. It's a ball egg because obviously you 0:33:14.600 --> 0:33:16.080 got to I'm not doing that. You gotta make the 0:33:16.080 --> 0:33:20.040 scrambled eggs just eggs, see they Marley. It's the one 0:33:20.080 --> 0:33:23.640 dish that she eats all of it herself, so I can. 0:33:24.040 --> 0:33:25.680 I can make it. It's high effort. 0:33:26.120 --> 0:33:28.360 How many eggs too? It's pretty good? 0:33:28.360 --> 0:33:29.200 Thank you, thank you. 0:33:29.480 --> 0:33:31.640 She's no, she's lifting more than you at the gym. 0:33:31.960 --> 0:33:34.400 She's just like your dad. 0:33:34.760 --> 0:33:37.440 Don't kick me when I'm down, mate, Sorry, sorry, sorry, 0:33:37.800 --> 0:33:39.880 but I make the eggs. I put the eggs in 0:33:39.920 --> 0:33:43.760 front of her. She says, I want wee bicks all 0:33:43.800 --> 0:33:47.600 the time, dude, all the time, and then we'll have 0:33:47.640 --> 0:33:51.760 a full blown meltdown, like kicking and screaming tantrum because 0:33:51.760 --> 0:33:54.200 I don't. Because I'm like, I'm not gonna waste these eggs. Yeah, 0:33:54.320 --> 0:33:55.520 you gotta eat the eggs. 0:33:55.600 --> 0:33:57.720 Yeah, that's fair, mate, you are not in the wrong. 0:33:58.000 --> 0:34:03.640 I'm like, what do I do here? I think if 0:34:03.680 --> 0:34:07.560 she I'm a very big fan of if you make 0:34:07.600 --> 0:34:08.520 your bed, you're laying it. 0:34:10.200 --> 0:34:11.680 She's got to sleep in the scrambled egg. 0:34:11.800 --> 0:34:14.479 Yes. Well, when I was a kid, anything I didn't 0:34:14.520 --> 0:34:17.400 eat or I didn't put into the dishwasher or the 0:34:17.440 --> 0:34:21.799 sink ended up in my bed. What Yeah, that was 0:34:21.840 --> 0:34:25.120 the threat? And who did it actually end up in there? No? 0:34:25.160 --> 0:34:27.279 Because I would scared the ship out of me, So 0:34:27.560 --> 0:34:30.359 I never I don't recall. Do you definitely think some 0:34:30.440 --> 0:34:31.399 dishes have been in there? 0:34:31.440 --> 0:34:34.440 I do, Yeah, I do recall my mom, my older 0:34:34.480 --> 0:34:37.319 brother Adam. Not to call you out, I hope you will, 0:34:38.920 --> 0:34:42.880 but he's not listening. He used to never put his 0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:45.000 dishes in the in the dishwasher and he just leave 0:34:45.040 --> 0:34:48.120 it on the kitchen table. I do recall mum putting 0:34:48.120 --> 0:34:49.800 that in his bed. 0:34:50.480 --> 0:34:52.759 An generational thing. But we didn't never have a dishwasher. 0:34:52.840 --> 0:34:57.279 Because we're no, we just didn't. We just didn't have one. 0:34:57.280 --> 0:34:58.920 I'm not sure what we lived in a rental back 0:34:58.920 --> 0:35:02.640 then they didn't. Now they're like standard. But like it was, 0:35:02.760 --> 0:35:05.400 it was an ongoing threat from my dad, which course 0:35:05.400 --> 0:35:06.879 would probably handed down from here. 0:35:06.920 --> 0:35:09.200 So I should threaten to put the eggs in Marley's bed. 0:35:09.360 --> 0:35:13.880 Yeah, do see what happens? Just be like or older. 0:35:14.040 --> 0:35:16.359 If you don't eat it, now, next time you ask 0:35:16.440 --> 0:35:18.800 me for something to eat, this is what you'll be eating. 0:35:19.920 --> 0:35:23.560 So like, for example, I don't want to disagree with 0:35:23.600 --> 0:35:26.760 you here because kids always go go like, say for dinner, 0:35:27.080 --> 0:35:29.160 they're like, I'm full, and then they're like, I want 0:35:29.160 --> 0:35:31.239 to snack, and it's like whoa, whoa, whah, whoa whoa. 0:35:31.280 --> 0:35:32.920 If you're fool, you can't eat a snack. And if 0:35:32.920 --> 0:35:34.400 you want to snack, you must be hungry. So if 0:35:34.400 --> 0:35:35.320 you're hungry, he's dinner. 0:35:35.400 --> 0:35:37.960 Laura is going to be so confused when she's like, 0:35:38.000 --> 0:35:41.000 why do we have moldy eggs in Marley's bed? 0:35:41.200 --> 0:35:44.600 Yeah? All week? I think a lesson from Ash. I 0:35:44.640 --> 0:35:46.640 think if she wants to have a melt down over it, 0:35:46.760 --> 0:35:48.279 let her have the melt down and go there's still 0:35:48.320 --> 0:35:50.680 nothing else, so that she knows that even though she 0:35:50.760 --> 0:35:54.520 melts down, she's not going to get the results she wants. 0:35:54.600 --> 0:36:00.480 Am I a genius or not? I think like, I'm 0:36:00.520 --> 0:36:03.920 not having that. If Mazie this thing where they're like, 0:36:04.000 --> 0:36:07.120 I want a banana, love that for it's great. Take 0:36:07.160 --> 0:36:08.880 one bite and I catch him trying to put it 0:36:08.920 --> 0:36:12.120 in the bin, and I'm like, get it out of 0:36:12.120 --> 0:36:14.840 the bin. Now you're eating it. Get it out of 0:36:14.880 --> 0:36:16.600 the bin. You're not eating anything else. Or you can 0:36:16.640 --> 0:36:18.400 go to bed and it could be like nine in 0:36:18.400 --> 0:36:21.800 the morning, You're going to bed like that's the threat 0:36:21.960 --> 0:36:23.400 and usually gets them. 0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:27.279 Usually a few times my kids have slept thirteen hours. 0:36:27.480 --> 0:36:29.600 I'm dusting that banana off and it's going straight in 0:36:29.600 --> 0:36:33.319 my mouth. I'll go Another question this is that was 0:36:33.360 --> 0:36:36.680 a one I threw in there. That was a host question. 0:36:36.920 --> 0:36:38.040 That was a host question. 0:36:39.600 --> 0:36:42.800 Has this from Jessica Oh, how to stop a twenty 0:36:42.840 --> 0:36:46.200 two month old from hitting, pinching, biting her four year 0:36:46.200 --> 0:36:50.319 old sister without us smacking her? 0:36:51.680 --> 0:36:53.640 Have you have that you're not smacking your children? Because 0:36:53.680 --> 0:36:55.880 but why is it always the younger one hitting the 0:36:55.880 --> 0:36:56.200 older one? 0:36:56.200 --> 0:36:58.359 Because Macey's the same I think, what does she doing 0:36:58.360 --> 0:36:58.799 to ask her? 0:36:59.040 --> 0:37:02.719 She just she sits on him. He just teases him 0:37:02.760 --> 0:37:05.640 because he It's all about the reaction of the other kid. 0:37:05.680 --> 0:37:08.480 I would say, just a four year old really react 0:37:09.120 --> 0:37:12.080 and if so, the other one knows they're going to 0:37:12.160 --> 0:37:13.839 get a little reaction out of it. And we're all 0:37:13.840 --> 0:37:18.080 about reactions. I don't My kids, thankfully don't bite. They 0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:22.360 definitely hit each other, but not with any malice. 0:37:22.480 --> 0:37:26.839 This is controversial and I'm definitely not condoning this type 0:37:26.880 --> 0:37:29.440 of behavior because she is saying she doesn't want to 0:37:29.440 --> 0:37:31.000 resort to violence, Yeah. 0:37:30.800 --> 0:37:32.359 Because that would just make it then the kids think 0:37:32.400 --> 0:37:34.239 it's okay to hit people. Okay, that's what I'm. 0:37:34.120 --> 0:37:38.640 Saying, but just hear me out. 0:37:38.719 --> 0:37:39.560 Depends what you're hit him with. 0:37:39.640 --> 0:37:42.080 And I will just preface this and say it's not me. 0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:45.000 I didn't do this. I'm also not saying that other 0:37:45.000 --> 0:37:47.080 people should do this, but I'm just giving it. I'm 0:37:47.080 --> 0:37:50.720 just giving an example of what happened with a family 0:37:50.760 --> 0:37:51.360 friend of ours. 0:37:51.719 --> 0:37:52.520 I'm locked in. 0:37:53.000 --> 0:37:56.480 Okay, so they had a child I was younger when 0:37:56.960 --> 0:37:59.240 when this is happening. They had a child that wouldn't 0:37:59.239 --> 0:38:03.440 stop biting out kids was a serial bitter. It was 0:38:04.239 --> 0:38:07.720 like almost like a cannibal, just like to taste other people. 0:38:07.760 --> 0:38:10.600 He just wouldn't stop biting. And it was a real 0:38:10.640 --> 0:38:14.399 problem because no one likes a bitter. That's like, that's 0:38:14.400 --> 0:38:16.279 one of I think the worst scenarios. If you're in 0:38:16.320 --> 0:38:19.239 the park and your kid is biting other kids. 0:38:19.040 --> 0:38:22.440 They must be embarrassing. It's embarrassing and people listening with that. 0:38:22.680 --> 0:38:25.040 I don't know, because thankfully my kids are perfect. It's 0:38:25.080 --> 0:38:25.439 like what. 0:38:28.640 --> 0:38:32.080 People who have been that situation, it's like a low point. 0:38:32.480 --> 0:38:33.800 Yeah, that sucks. That sucks. 0:38:34.160 --> 0:38:36.520 It's a tricky one. So she was in that scenario, 0:38:37.719 --> 0:38:40.000 and I remember my mom was speaking to her and 0:38:40.080 --> 0:38:42.400 saying like, this is what you should try doing. Obviously, 0:38:42.440 --> 0:38:44.839 like they're trying to talk it out. Then one day 0:38:44.920 --> 0:38:47.000 she came in and she's like, I fixed the problem. 0:38:47.920 --> 0:38:52.280 So she caught him biting someone. She just then turned around. 0:38:52.280 --> 0:38:54.960 You know where this is going. No, she just bit 0:38:55.080 --> 0:39:00.920 her kid. She gave him a taste of his own medicine. 0:39:01.239 --> 0:39:02.560 Oh my. 0:39:04.040 --> 0:39:07.200 God, never bit again. I don't know how hard she 0:39:07.320 --> 0:39:09.360 was biting him, but I think she would have. She 0:39:09.400 --> 0:39:10.799 made him like do. 0:39:10.880 --> 0:39:14.040 We actually do do we actually have a conversation about 0:39:14.040 --> 0:39:18.640 this before where April pretended to because Macy went to 0:39:18.880 --> 0:39:21.279 or Oscar went like like a Nora on her arm, 0:39:21.320 --> 0:39:25.400 but not like a by like a oh and April 0:39:25.400 --> 0:39:27.920 did it back. I don't remember that. And he went 0:39:28.760 --> 0:39:30.160 and she was like see, you know, you know it 0:39:30.200 --> 0:39:33.560 didn't actually buy it? Did it work? The jury is out? 0:39:33.640 --> 0:39:34.080 I don't know. 0:39:34.440 --> 0:39:36.320 She's going to be more forceful. She got to drop blood? 0:39:37.520 --> 0:39:39.160 Is that what happened? You have to bite a finger 0:39:39.239 --> 0:39:41.400 off for it to work. Let me get lest trade 0:39:42.640 --> 0:39:46.280 this person? Kid? Yeah, bit another kid at her park. 0:39:46.560 --> 0:39:49.560 Well, I don't know the exact location. 0:39:49.600 --> 0:39:52.359 Actually, if you're going to go specifics, okay, just say 0:39:52.520 --> 0:39:56.920 just let's hypothetically was it a park? Then her reaction 0:39:57.280 --> 0:40:00.000 his or her reaction their own kid. They bit their 0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:03.000 own kid. How do you like it? Situation exactly? 0:40:03.080 --> 0:40:07.040 And they never bit again, never well bit again. And 0:40:07.120 --> 0:40:08.640 I'm not saying that we should go out there and 0:40:08.640 --> 0:40:09.840 start biting our own kids. 0:40:09.960 --> 0:40:11.759 I hope you're not saying that because that will get 0:40:11.840 --> 0:40:15.960 us canceled. But there's a munch of vampires that there 0:40:16.000 --> 0:40:16.799 going that's wrong with. 0:40:20.200 --> 0:40:20.960 All I'm saying. 0:40:21.280 --> 0:40:22.719 That's pretty red heart. 0:40:22.800 --> 0:40:26.160 I say I mean, as Laura says, like, we've got 0:40:26.160 --> 0:40:28.160 a three year old who still has a dummy where 0:40:28.280 --> 0:40:29.759 we don't know how to stamp out that kind of 0:40:29.880 --> 0:40:32.640 negative behavior, so you probably shouldn't come to me for advice. 0:40:33.239 --> 0:40:36.360 It's also like that when you go through school and 0:40:36.360 --> 0:40:38.359 stuff like that, they say, treat others how you want 0:40:38.400 --> 0:40:42.400 to be treated, spit like that sort of situation. So 0:40:42.440 --> 0:40:44.760 maybe we'll go with it. Maybe don't bite your kids? 0:40:45.160 --> 0:40:46.759 Maybe go how would you like it if I bit? 0:40:46.880 --> 0:40:51.120 You know that general parenting stuff sucks? Yeah, it does can. 0:40:51.239 --> 0:40:53.279 By the way, get it set a knuckle duster. You're 0:40:53.280 --> 0:40:58.160 a parent out there, bite your kids or not to 0:40:58.239 --> 0:41:01.920 do that or not? Will emphasize are you going to 0:41:02.000 --> 0:41:05.600 bite me or not? I have a question for you. 0:41:06.160 --> 0:41:09.840 This is from Lucinda. Hello, Lucinda high Lycinder. It's a 0:41:09.960 --> 0:41:12.399 very pretty name. It's a beautiful Listen to Bell. 0:41:12.600 --> 0:41:14.839 Was a girl on my primary school Lovely, lovely young 0:41:14.920 --> 0:41:16.680 lady Lucinda Bell Cinder. 0:41:16.719 --> 0:41:22.959 Bell could be her. Lucy Goosey, Listen to Bell. What 0:41:22.960 --> 0:41:26.640 what's wrong with that? Lucy Goosey? Listen to Bell. You 0:41:26.640 --> 0:41:27.759 don't know how she turned out? 0:41:27.880 --> 0:41:30.239 Fuck is wrong with you? 0:41:30.280 --> 0:41:36.799 Who? Handles bedtime at your place. She goes on to say, 0:41:36.880 --> 0:41:38.880 we had to do a full contract right up and 0:41:38.920 --> 0:41:39.359 sign it. 0:41:40.880 --> 0:41:44.719 Who doesn't, Oh, it's tough, it is. 0:41:45.000 --> 0:41:46.879 At what point do you get to the stage where 0:41:46.880 --> 0:41:50.880 it's like we need a contract? Did he like marriage? 0:41:51.600 --> 0:41:55.879 Bedtime contract? Lawyers? Like? You want to do what? Now? 0:41:56.880 --> 0:41:59.040 What do you want to get drawn up? I don't 0:41:59.040 --> 0:42:01.200 think you can do that. Do it? Are you gonna 0:42:01.200 --> 0:42:01.719 do it or not? 0:42:02.480 --> 0:42:07.279 We share it, We share it, but every now and then, Like, 0:42:07.320 --> 0:42:10.720 there's definitely parts of the bedtime routine that I lean into. 0:42:11.719 --> 0:42:14.760 There's parts that I absolutely hate. 0:42:14.840 --> 0:42:15.960 What do you hate? 0:42:16.000 --> 0:42:18.360 I'm glad you asked defeeding of the dinner? 0:42:18.680 --> 0:42:20.160 Was that part of the bedtime routine? 0:42:20.280 --> 0:42:23.560 But surely that's part of in bed no because it 0:42:23.640 --> 0:42:27.000 always goes like for us anyway, it's very quick, quick success. 0:42:27.160 --> 0:42:30.440 Leaning into nighttime routine, it's very different. 0:42:30.640 --> 0:42:33.080 What do you mean nighttime? It's it's all the same. 0:42:33.640 --> 0:42:35.640 It's all the same. I'm gonna lump it all in 0:42:35.920 --> 0:42:38.520 because we have dinner, we have a bit of quiet time, 0:42:39.239 --> 0:42:42.320 have the bath, PJS on, we're asleep. 0:42:42.719 --> 0:42:47.160 So that's the night nighttime, nighttime route. You just said 0:42:47.160 --> 0:42:47.400 it I. 0:42:47.400 --> 0:42:51.080 Don't want to get into an argument. So bath is 0:42:51.080 --> 0:42:51.720 is that included? 0:42:51.880 --> 0:42:52.200 Yes? 0:42:52.360 --> 0:42:55.680 How the fuck is a bath included? And the dinner's not. 0:42:56.560 --> 0:42:59.120 Let's not fight on the podcast. Do you what I 0:42:59.120 --> 0:43:02.120 started doing? Didn't like the bath? I now get in 0:43:02.160 --> 0:43:02.719 the bath. 0:43:02.520 --> 0:43:04.520 With them we naked. 0:43:04.680 --> 0:43:06.040 No, no, no, I wear my budgies. 0:43:06.560 --> 0:43:07.160 That'll be weird. 0:43:08.960 --> 0:43:11.120 No, no judgment if you do go on the in 0:43:11.160 --> 0:43:13.799 the bath naked. I feel like shower You're allowed to 0:43:13.800 --> 0:43:14.280 be naked. 0:43:14.960 --> 0:43:18.280 Ba I love those shower means. It's like showering winters 0:43:19.480 --> 0:43:20.239 balls in the head. 0:43:20.840 --> 0:43:23.239 I wear my budgies in the bath and I and 0:43:23.280 --> 0:43:26.080 I find it makes it more fun and it also 0:43:26.160 --> 0:43:26.840 it's easier. 0:43:27.360 --> 0:43:29.680 It's like there pretending to be a dog or a human. 0:43:29.880 --> 0:43:30.320 I mean. 0:43:31.920 --> 0:43:36.920 Should but brushing teeth. Hate that that sucks. 0:43:37.880 --> 0:43:39.200 Kids don't like it. That's what that's going to go. 0:43:39.360 --> 0:43:43.160 My kid Macey's gone from mintce to toothpaste. She loves toothpaste. 0:43:44.000 --> 0:43:47.960 See also at the moment, I'm a bit off reading 0:43:47.960 --> 0:43:51.040 to the kids unless it's our book, which is also available. 0:43:50.680 --> 0:43:55.959 Breader right now. I love that. I as soon. 0:43:55.880 --> 0:43:58.320 As I start reading, I can't stop yawning. 0:43:58.680 --> 0:44:02.720 Yeah, it's the same. I don't do the reading very often. 0:44:03.440 --> 0:44:07.879 It's for us. It's like we'll bath, like when we're 0:44:08.000 --> 0:44:10.120 sort of in and out of the bathroom at different 0:44:10.120 --> 0:44:12.640 times because we've got you know, April was like, oh, 0:44:12.760 --> 0:44:15.160 remember to do something so we can we use that 0:44:15.200 --> 0:44:17.439 time for the tag team. Yeah, we use that time 0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:19.799 for the other person to clean up downstairs and just 0:44:20.040 --> 0:44:20.920 you know whatever. 0:44:21.160 --> 0:44:24.759 But I would I will take cleaning the kitchen any 0:44:24.880 --> 0:44:27.520 day of over trying to get the kids ready for bed. 0:44:27.640 --> 0:44:29.640 Yeah, so then I will get the kids out of 0:44:29.680 --> 0:44:33.000 the bed, April will get Macy ready, and I'm usually 0:44:33.000 --> 0:44:36.359 getting Oscar ready right which he's a silly bugger, so 0:44:36.400 --> 0:44:39.479 you're just like trying to catch him starters. And it's 0:44:39.520 --> 0:44:42.160 like then I'll give the kids a kiss good night, 0:44:42.640 --> 0:44:44.480 and then they'll read with April because she's much more 0:44:44.560 --> 0:44:49.399 patient than me with the reading. When you don't have 0:44:49.800 --> 0:44:53.720 I just don't. I need to get tested. I can't 0:44:53.760 --> 0:44:57.080 handle it. I can't handle it. Boring. There you go. 0:44:57.120 --> 0:44:59.600 I said it, but like I'll do it something else 0:45:00.040 --> 0:45:05.839 you are reading unless you are read to question. I 0:45:05.880 --> 0:45:08.759 do do it sometimes, like if April is out on 0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:11.400 a boozy lunch it's extended. 0:45:11.160 --> 0:45:13.520 Which is most weekends more often than nine. 0:45:13.680 --> 0:45:14.239 Am I right? 0:45:15.120 --> 0:45:19.040 I love your April. I'm I'm joking. Continue. 0:45:19.080 --> 0:45:21.320 She always gets the raw in there. She we love it. 0:45:21.440 --> 0:45:24.359 She goes out once once a quarter a year, once 0:45:24.400 --> 0:45:28.080 a We're like again, we're just milking that one time. Uh, 0:45:28.120 --> 0:45:30.920 And then I'll do the whey you you read the 0:45:31.000 --> 0:45:32.759 start of the book and you're like, and the end 0:45:33.280 --> 0:45:33.920 into bed. 0:45:33.880 --> 0:45:38.000 You gotta you, gotta, you gotta flick a couple of pages. 0:45:38.280 --> 0:45:40.640 I've found, like there's nothing more nerve racking when you're 0:45:40.680 --> 0:45:42.960 reading a book. And in my head, I'm like, well, 0:45:43.000 --> 0:45:45.080 this is a long book. I'm just gonna like as 0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:47.320 I turn this page, I'm going to clump in three 0:45:47.440 --> 0:45:50.800 or four pages together and then I turn it. Marley 0:45:50.840 --> 0:45:53.239 is so bloody smart. She's like, what are you doing that. 0:45:53.520 --> 0:45:58.200 You miss the synopsis? She's like, what happened there? She's like, 0:45:58.280 --> 0:45:59.279 I know the sequences. 0:45:59.400 --> 0:46:02.359 She knows sequence to calls me out of it. Lolla 0:46:02.440 --> 0:46:03.840 has no idea. 0:46:04.440 --> 0:46:07.759 She's just like, this is grated down, yeah, getting down there. 0:46:07.800 --> 0:46:11.279 And pant April does this thing where she reads the 0:46:11.320 --> 0:46:14.560 book but changes the words to like not naughty words, 0:46:14.560 --> 0:46:17.680 but like you know, balm and pooh and shit like that, 0:46:17.960 --> 0:46:21.239 where she's like and the bum bum king, and like Oscar. 0:46:20.960 --> 0:46:23.279 Always gets to laugh love, I always get to laugh, 0:46:23.440 --> 0:46:24.040 and I. 0:46:23.880 --> 0:46:25.759 Think it's funny from the other room while I'm like 0:46:25.840 --> 0:46:29.160 cleaning up or doing anything. But like it's mainly April 0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:33.239 doing like from me getting Oscar dressed to give them 0:46:33.239 --> 0:46:36.360 both kissing our little cuddle. She's usually and then it 0:46:36.400 --> 0:46:38.160 gives me a chance because I also make the dinner 0:46:38.480 --> 0:46:42.480 for us, so sometimes it's finishing touching of the dinner whatever. 0:46:42.680 --> 0:46:47.160 I would love to know what everyone's preference is, the 0:46:47.239 --> 0:46:50.280 dinner and cleanup or bath in bed. 0:46:50.640 --> 0:46:53.360 Yes, dinner and clean up is much easier. 0:46:53.400 --> 0:46:56.000 Ah doesn't talk back, It doesn't yell at it doesn't. 0:46:56.160 --> 0:46:58.279 It doesn't. Sometimes I take the rubbish out a little 0:46:58.280 --> 0:47:02.160 bit quiet time, a dude. I come back back my 0:47:02.160 --> 0:47:03.480 head and see if they're still wake them up and 0:47:03.520 --> 0:47:09.919 gone back ahead, go to the recycling. That's good, very good, 0:47:10.800 --> 0:47:11.959 that's good gear. 0:47:12.120 --> 0:47:13.160 We should get out of here. 0:47:13.200 --> 0:47:13.560 We should. 0:47:13.880 --> 0:47:16.120 That cat's being locked in my bedroom without the key 0:47:16.200 --> 0:47:19.120 litter and I'm ninety percent sure I've got diarrhea in 0:47:19.160 --> 0:47:19.640 the carpet. 0:47:19.760 --> 0:47:21.120 Cat poo is gross. 0:47:21.160 --> 0:47:22.520 I'm going to sort that out. But if you have 0:47:22.640 --> 0:47:25.040 liked this episode, please we would love it if you 0:47:25.080 --> 0:47:26.680 were to share it with anyone out there. Doesn't have 0:47:26.719 --> 0:47:28.480 to be a parent, could be a non parent, just 0:47:28.480 --> 0:47:31.480 not a pet parent. They may enjoy this episode and 0:47:31.520 --> 0:47:32.040 get a laugh. 0:47:32.280 --> 0:47:35.560 The pet parents might like this episode because you pretend 0:47:35.600 --> 0:47:38.200 to be a pet yes, which usually pets a lot 0:47:38.239 --> 0:47:40.560 a lot of pet chat. But you're not welcome. 0:47:43.160 --> 0:47:46.480 And give us a review yes on Spotify or Apple podcast, 0:47:46.760 --> 0:47:47.760 be great, whatever you prefer. 0:47:48.080 --> 0:47:49.160 You're preferent up to you. 0:47:49.160 --> 0:47:52.319 You decide, and oh yeah, one thing before we go. 0:47:53.120 --> 0:47:55.920 We have a Facebook group. It's currently sitting at a 0:47:56.120 --> 0:48:00.239 whopping one hundred and twenty eight members room for one more, 0:48:00.560 --> 0:48:03.800 potentially maybe two Doting Dads on Facebook. 0:48:03.920 --> 0:48:05.000 Yes, find us. 0:48:05.360 --> 0:48:08.839 You can request to be accepted and then we will 0:48:08.840 --> 0:48:11.040 think about it. If you're a pet parent, will we 0:48:11.040 --> 0:48:13.759 will let it marinate. If there's any profile pictures with 0:48:13.800 --> 0:48:16.480 pets included, be careful. 0:48:16.239 --> 0:48:16.959 You're out of there. 0:48:18.080 --> 0:48:18.839 We'll see next week. 0:48:18.920 --> 0:48:21.640 Bye bye. 0:48:25.880 --> 0:48:29.480 Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country 0:48:29.520 --> 0:48:33.200 throughout Australia and the connections to land see and community. 0:48:33.440 --> 0:48:35.960 We pay our respects to their elders past and present, 0:48:36.040 --> 0:48:39.080 and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander 0:48:39.160 --> 0:48:42.799 people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.