WEBVTT - Walk down memory lane - Single Pringle, the pros and cons of being single

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<v Speaker 1>Hey guys, it is producer Keisha here with you. I

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<v Speaker 1>hope you're all having a pretty good week. Your girls,

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<v Speaker 1>Laura and Britt are still on break and we're still

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<v Speaker 1>calling it kind of like a fake break because Covid

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<v Speaker 1>had other plans. Right now, half of us here in

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<v Speaker 1>Australia are in lockdown, so it's probably been a bit

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<v Speaker 1>of a shitty week for a lot of people. And

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<v Speaker 1>if you need a bit of a laugh, I would

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<v Speaker 1>really recommend going back and listening to Tuesday's episode. It

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<v Speaker 1>was an ask Brita and Laura anything episode, some unheard content.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a brand newbie. We recorded it just before

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<v Speaker 1>the girls went on break and my gosh, some of

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<v Speaker 1>the messages we have been getting to Instagram kind of

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<v Speaker 1>about sex lists and about your hall passes been pretty funny.

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<v Speaker 1>And I wasn't the only person who found it funny

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<v Speaker 1>because yesterday The Daily Mail decided to publish an article

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm just going to read out the name of

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<v Speaker 1>that article for you. The Bachelor's Laura Byrn makes a

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<v Speaker 1>taboo sex confession as she opens up about her bedroom

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<v Speaker 1>antics with fiance Mattie Johnson during a tell all podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Now for the og listeners, you would kind of be like,

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<v Speaker 1>that wasn't a tell all episode. They are that open

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. But it did give me a bit

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<v Speaker 1>of a laugh. So if you need that right now,

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<v Speaker 1>go back and listen to Tuesday's episode. But for today,

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<v Speaker 1>we are taking a trip down memory lane, which means

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<v Speaker 1>that we are revisiting some of our favorite episodes from

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<v Speaker 1>the past, and we've gone back into the archives for

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<v Speaker 1>this one. This one was an episode that the girls

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<v Speaker 1>did a little while ago and it was pre brit

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<v Speaker 1>being in a relationship. So it's all about being single.

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<v Speaker 1>The pros and cons are being single and kind of

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<v Speaker 1>how we hate the question of how are you still single?

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<v Speaker 1>So that is what you're about to hear tomorrow dropping

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<v Speaker 1>in your podcast Libraries is going to be the very

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<v Speaker 1>first batch recap from Laura and Jay and I am

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<v Speaker 1>so looking forward to it. I'm actually recording this the

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<v Speaker 1>night before, so I'm about to watch The Bachelor and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so keen to see what happens. We have you

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<v Speaker 1>really enjoyed this episode and we'll catch you back here tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Black Uncut.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. Hi, Brittany, do you realize

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<v Speaker 1>that we do the same, You do the same? Yep,

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<v Speaker 1>we say hi, and then you go.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi Brittany, and I'm like, hi, just hi, I alady

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<v Speaker 2>said hello, We've already said hello, We've already been talking

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<v Speaker 2>to each other for the last hour. I just think

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<v Speaker 2>consistency is important so that the people know what they're getting,

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<v Speaker 2>what are reliable, safe, secure Laura over here.

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<v Speaker 1>And then whenever britt does an intro, she's like, oh, hey, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>he just go and row. I always that though, I

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<v Speaker 1>always go wild because I you know, I just think

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<v Speaker 1>it's it's important to be spontaneous in all aspects of life, dating, relationships, podcasting.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a lot of missionary sex, which okay, that note,

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<v Speaker 2>actually this is a record.

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<v Speaker 1>Never have you dropped that in the first two minutes.

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<v Speaker 2>I liked how to do Myself, so actually on that

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<v Speaker 2>I have a kind of a funny story if you

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<v Speaker 2>listen to the last week's Tuesday episode where I talked

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<v Speaker 2>about how I almost had sex and I remember well

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<v Speaker 2>britt said it was a bit of an overshare, which

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<v Speaker 2>clearly it was. So the other day I was at

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<v Speaker 2>the petrol station and I walked into pay and there

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<v Speaker 2>were these two girls standing in front of me, and

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<v Speaker 2>one of them was like, Hi, Oh my god, Laura,

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we're friends. I listened to your podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I love your podcasts. Have you had sex yet in

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<v Speaker 2>the in the petrol station was like, yes, yes, I have,

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<v Speaker 2>just this morning.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I realized that I was still sharing.

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<v Speaker 2>Too much o my life to a complete stranger A

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<v Speaker 2>petrol station high five if you're listening, Yeah, things have

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<v Speaker 2>just sporrowed out of control of me.

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<v Speaker 1>Britt. I love this for so many reasons. I love it.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that you had sex. Yes, I love that

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<v Speaker 1>you had sex.

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<v Speaker 2>I love that Daily Mail is going to have a

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<v Speaker 2>field day with the first four minutes of this episode.

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<v Speaker 1>I just love that like that people running to us

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<v Speaker 1>a I love that they feel like we're friends and

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<v Speaker 1>they often forget that we don't know each other in

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<v Speaker 1>real life. I love that they feel this really close

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<v Speaker 1>bond that they can say to you like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>did you have sex yet, and that you feel the

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<v Speaker 1>bond back to be like, well, yes, I did. Well.

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<v Speaker 2>It was halfway through after saying that I realized I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, I don't know you this is I'm being

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<v Speaker 2>inappropriate right now?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't feel like you should know if I've just

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<v Speaker 1>had sex.

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<v Speaker 2>But also, and this is one for all of the

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<v Speaker 2>mums out there who are in relationships and maybe they're

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<v Speaker 2>in the same boat as me. And every time because

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<v Speaker 2>I get a lot of mums who message me and

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<v Speaker 2>they're like, Laura, don't worry, You're not alone. We're all

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<v Speaker 2>going through the same thing. However, I've realiz that the

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<v Speaker 2>greatest affidisiac the greatest.

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<v Speaker 1>One for a married, boring couple. It's not oysters, is it?

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<v Speaker 1>What is it?

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<v Speaker 2>It's not oysters, it's not perfume, it's not full play,

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<v Speaker 2>it's not seduction.

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<v Speaker 1>It's cleaning the fucking house.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's cleaning. It's cleaning, Matt clean the house. And

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<v Speaker 2>I have never been more turned on in my life.

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<v Speaker 1>That was all it took.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, talk to me, dirty talk, and

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<v Speaker 2>he was like, I'm gonna clean the bathroom next and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, boy, can't wait for this anyway. So on that note,

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<v Speaker 1>you guys all know that we record in Laura's bedroom.

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<v Speaker 1>We always chat Matt, Laura and I for like an

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<v Speaker 1>hour or so in the lounderroom. And we run through

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<v Speaker 1>the episode. We ask Matt's opinions on things because it's

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<v Speaker 1>a guy just just a general catch up, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>because we usually haven't seen each other for like twelve hours.

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<v Speaker 1>It's important to debrief on the day. So you often

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<v Speaker 1>hear us talk about like that will come into the studio, akay,

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<v Speaker 1>the bedroom and Laura would just have like a pile

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<v Speaker 1>of clothes here that Matt' stumps somewhere or what. We

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<v Speaker 1>always have to wade through something.

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<v Speaker 2>But what Brittany's getting out is that my house is

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<v Speaker 2>not particularly clean. But that is because we have a

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<v Speaker 2>one year old and we live in constant chaos. No

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm kidding at to that doesn't bother me in

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<v Speaker 2>the slightest Today tonight, right before this episode, we're sitting

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<v Speaker 2>in the lounge room. Laura's like, oh, britt just wait

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<v Speaker 2>here one second. I'm just gonna go and quickly clean

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<v Speaker 2>all the stuff off the bed in the studio. The bedroom,

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<v Speaker 2>she comes in to clean it all off because she's like,

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<v Speaker 2>there is shit everywhere. Then she comes back out and

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<v Speaker 2>she's like, oh, Matt's got this smug look on his face,

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<v Speaker 2>and she's like, Matt, you angel I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>You put all the stuff away. You've never done that.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much. And he's like all smug, being

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<v Speaker 1>like yeah, I'm amazing. They kiss, Laura praises him. Laura

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<v Speaker 1>walks back in and she's like, I'll meet you in

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<v Speaker 1>the studio now, Laura. I hate to be the one

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<v Speaker 1>to break this too. But Matt as soon as she

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<v Speaker 1>walked out of the room, looked at me and goes, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I just got lazy. It's all shoved behind the mirror.

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<v Speaker 1>It's all behind the mirror, and I'm thrown him under

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<v Speaker 1>the body. You can see it coming out the side

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<v Speaker 1>of the mirror that's against the walls. Is not getting

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<v Speaker 1>nothing tonight. And I was like, I knew you wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>have done it. It's like, don't tell her.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm really I feel victimized here. I feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>the one that's been left out and this is cruel.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, I told you. I could have not told you

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<v Speaker 1>and you would have had to have given him cleaning, sympathy, sex.

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<v Speaker 1>But now you don't have to do that. Thank god,

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<v Speaker 1>I can go to bed. Oh God, thank god, Bretty,

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<v Speaker 1>you save me.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, normally, just just get off that topic completely because

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like that's five minutes too much of me

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<v Speaker 2>talking about my sex life.

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<v Speaker 1>Britt. Normally I ask you what you have done this week.

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<v Speaker 2>However, I know exactly what you did this week because

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<v Speaker 2>we just went away for your birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't believe that you're so old. I don't tell

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<v Speaker 1>anyone my real age. I still say twenty eight. You

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<v Speaker 1>look twenty eight.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel forty, which there's nothing wrong with being forty,

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<v Speaker 2>but there is when you're only thirty four. Laura and

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<v Speaker 2>I basically for the first so Laura and I see

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<v Speaker 2>each other every week so many times.

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<v Speaker 1>We have never in the last year, I don't think

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<v Speaker 1>we've ever done anything that wasn't work related.

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<v Speaker 2>We've never gone out for dinner together. We've never gone like,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, if we go for a walk, it's because

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<v Speaker 2>we have to talk about podcast topics, so we kind of.

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<v Speaker 1>Do like a walking meeting.

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<v Speaker 2>But we've never We keep saying we're going to go

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<v Speaker 2>out and celebrate when we hit two million, and guys,

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<v Speaker 2>next week we're going to hit three million downloads, and

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<v Speaker 2>we still haven't even been out for dinner to celebrate.

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<v Speaker 2>We didn't even book to kill us. So this weekend

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<v Speaker 2>was actually really special because one it was Britty's birthday,

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<v Speaker 2>we got to go away and we had a beautiful

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<v Speaker 2>little weekend. And two because it was my very first

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<v Speaker 2>night that I was away from Mali. So we guys

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<v Speaker 2>went down to Shoal Bay.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually that's a funny story. We went to Shoal Bay Penhouse.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, this is the problem because you keep saying we

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<v Speaker 2>went down to Shoal Bay.

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<v Speaker 1>So just don't blame start the story. Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So Britt told me that we were going to We're

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<v Speaker 2>going down the coast. We're going to go down the

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<v Speaker 2>coast for her birthday. And then she said Shoal Bay

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<v Speaker 2>blah blah blah country club a few other things.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, exactly where we're going, Sholbe country Club? I said,

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<v Speaker 1>shoal Bait country Club, down down the coast.

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<v Speaker 2>So I get into my car. I was driving by myself.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I know where seul Haven is, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it must be around there. It's down the coast,

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<v Speaker 2>Like what else is down the coast? So I start driving.

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<v Speaker 2>I drive for an hour before I decided to put

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<v Speaker 2>it into my maps.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it turns out the Shoal Bay is not down

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<v Speaker 1>the coast.

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<v Speaker 2>It is three hours north of Sydney, and I had

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<v Speaker 2>just driven an hour in the wrong direction, had to

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<v Speaker 2>turn around, so round trip to get there.

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<v Speaker 1>For your birthday was a five hour trip. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like you're putting a lot of this responsibility on me. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>to be fair in my defense, I okay, yes something.

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<v Speaker 1>It is something I would say I often do say

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<v Speaker 1>when I just say him going away in general, I'm like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just going to duck down the coast. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>matter what direction I'm going. I just say it.

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<v Speaker 2>Like, but I say, like, what other when you're going

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<v Speaker 2>to Queensland, you say I'm just going down to Queensland.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like when I say I'm going to duck down

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<v Speaker 1>to the shops. The shop might be up the hill,

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<v Speaker 1>but the expression is duck down. But you can't duck

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<v Speaker 1>anywhere for three hours. Ye, but I can't. So I

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<v Speaker 1>said to Laura, We're just gonna go down the coast

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<v Speaker 1>to Shoal Bay Country Club. And I'm pretty sure, like

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<v Speaker 1>I am pretty sure you're gonna disagree that I said

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<v Speaker 1>it's just like near Newcastle. It's Nelson Bay. Absolutely incorrect.

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<v Speaker 1>I know exactly where Newcastle is. I was born there.

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<v Speaker 1>You can ignore me like you tune out when I'm talking.

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<v Speaker 1>Not time for a sister fight, Brittany, not on air.

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<v Speaker 1>Tone it down, all right, tell me about your birthday,

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<v Speaker 1>so hang on. The moral of this story is we

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<v Speaker 1>were supposed to just be like two and a half

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<v Speaker 1>hours north. Laura drove an hour south, realized was the

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<v Speaker 1>wrong way an hour and then the three hours, so

0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:44.560
<v Speaker 1>she drove five hours together there. But you were in

0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:46.320
<v Speaker 1>high spirits and it was worth it. Guys.

0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:48.439
<v Speaker 2>Was my first night away from Mali, and I tell you,

0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll drive five hours for that. Okay, how was your birthday?

0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:53.120
<v Speaker 2>I know I was there, but I guess to usually

0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:56.400
<v Speaker 2>ask you how your week is. So how was your weekend? Yes,

0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:59.080
<v Speaker 2>so it was really amazing. I've said it before on

0:10:59.120 --> 0:10:59.720
<v Speaker 2>the podcast.

0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:04.440
<v Speaker 1>I hate my birthday. Every year, I hate my birthday.

0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:06.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm never one of those people that looks forward to it.

0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I never plan anything. Actually, most of the time, I

0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:10.320
<v Speaker 1>don't even tell people. I've hung out with my friends

0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.560
<v Speaker 1>on my birthday and haven't told them and they haven't known.

0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm not one of those people that's like, let's make

0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:15.920
<v Speaker 1>this a birthday month.

0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:18.800
<v Speaker 2>Do you want to share why you hate your birthday

0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:21.040
<v Speaker 2>because it kind of leads into the podcast topic for today,

0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.800
<v Speaker 2>and I think it's really important. Yeah, it's important because

0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:28.440
<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of people would feel like that. Yeah, yes, Laura, Oh,

0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:29.520
<v Speaker 2>we'll have happy.

0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.959
<v Speaker 1>To share that. I'm happy to share my most tormented feelings.

0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:36.959
<v Speaker 1>Please share your trauma with everybody. Alsia's soul. So I think,

0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:38.920
<v Speaker 1>and I really did have to. I think about it,

0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:41.880
<v Speaker 1>and if I'm really honest, the last relationship I was

0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.200
<v Speaker 1>in that we know that it was toxic, so I

0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.240
<v Speaker 1>was it was almost like my birthday when it ended.

0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:49.240
<v Speaker 1>I had a really really bad birthday with him, where

0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:53.400
<v Speaker 1>long story short, he just manipulated me into feeling really

0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:55.080
<v Speaker 1>bad the whole day. I had to act like it

0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:56.720
<v Speaker 1>was his birthday. I had to take him out, I

0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:58.280
<v Speaker 1>had to do all this stuff for him. I was

0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.720
<v Speaker 1>apologizing him constantly. I just had We had this huge

0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:03.400
<v Speaker 1>fight and I just had a really really bad birthday.

0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:07.160
<v Speaker 1>Then we broke up not long after. Fast forward, and

0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:11.000
<v Speaker 1>every year my birthday came. The first year that went past,

0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:12.840
<v Speaker 1>I just felt like it was a reminder that I

0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:14.760
<v Speaker 1>had this really bad that time of my life was

0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:18.000
<v Speaker 1>really bad. Then I remember saying to myself and this

0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:21.600
<v Speaker 1>was my mistake. I remember saying, all right, well, next year,

0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:23.720
<v Speaker 1>I won't be alone on my birthday, I'll be with

0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:25.720
<v Speaker 1>someone amazing, and I'll be really happy and I'll be

0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:28.360
<v Speaker 1>sharing the moment with someone. Then the next year would

0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.720
<v Speaker 1>come and it wouldn't happen. I wouldn't even be close.

0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:32.720
<v Speaker 1>And the next year, then the next year, and fast forward,

0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:34.880
<v Speaker 1>and this has been I think like the eighth or

0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:38.440
<v Speaker 1>ninth year, and I just started to get really really

0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:41.400
<v Speaker 1>depressed every year seeing that my friends were like, had

0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:44.320
<v Speaker 1>all their partners doing these amazing things for them, surprising them,

0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.800
<v Speaker 1>sharing them with love, just spending his quality time with them.

0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:51.480
<v Speaker 1>And every year I just felt lonelier and lonelier and lonelier.

0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:54.440
<v Speaker 1>And that is just being completely honest, because I feel

0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.080
<v Speaker 1>like there have got to be people out there listening

0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:59.080
<v Speaker 1>right now that are like, fuck like me too. I

0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:03.720
<v Speaker 1>have felt that finally this year, you think I would

0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:05.280
<v Speaker 1>have learned. It took me eight or nine years, but

0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 1>I realized it's probably not order, it's probably not gonna happen.

0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:11.280
<v Speaker 1>I can't keep saying next year, I'll be with someone

0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.320
<v Speaker 1>before I just make my own happiness. So I finally

0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.480
<v Speaker 1>decided to go away with some of the girls. We

0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 1>had an amazing time down at Shelby Country Club, which

0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:23.200
<v Speaker 1>was beautiful. We went hiking. Much of the girl's dismay.

0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.520
<v Speaker 1>I made the girls go hiking. So much food. Oh

0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:28.479
<v Speaker 1>my god, the food was ridiculous.

0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:30.720
<v Speaker 2>And it was with like it was with all of

0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:32.600
<v Speaker 2>your closest friends, which even if you don't have a

0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:34.520
<v Speaker 2>guy there, we didn't need any guys there.

0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, this is actually so all of these things are

0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.480
<v Speaker 1>what got us to this episode today. Basically, the girls

0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.200
<v Speaker 1>and I there were five or six of us. I

0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:45.800
<v Speaker 1>was the only single person there. All the rest of

0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:49.720
<v Speaker 1>my friends have babies, are married or engaged. Yet literally

0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:51.880
<v Speaker 1>all of them. I was the only one that was simple.

0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:55.560
<v Speaker 1>But we were having these deeper, meaningful conversations, and it

0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:59.600
<v Speaker 1>came up that you know, this feeling of a lot

0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.240
<v Speaker 1>of people feel failure and they feel so lonely and

0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:05.320
<v Speaker 1>if they hit thirty, and it also appears to be

0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.000
<v Speaker 1>that thirty is the magic number. Thirty is the number

0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:11.319
<v Speaker 1>where people feel lonely. And I don't know why as

0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:14.720
<v Speaker 1>a society we've set the number the benchmark to be like,

0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:16.960
<v Speaker 1>oh you better, I've got your shit together. By thirty,

0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.000
<v Speaker 1>like it's the be all and end all of our

0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:24.560
<v Speaker 1>whole life. And then what I realized is the five

0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:29.160
<v Speaker 1>other girls there, including yourself, Laura, everyone was so stoked

0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:32.080
<v Speaker 1>to be having a waken away from their partners and

0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:36.760
<v Speaker 1>the stress and kids and just general life. Not because

0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.520
<v Speaker 1>they want to be away from their partner, but because

0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:40.400
<v Speaker 1>they're like, oh my god, this I get some time

0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:42.720
<v Speaker 1>to myself. I get to do whatever I want to do.

0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:44.000
<v Speaker 1>I get to eat whatever I want to eat. I

0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:45.600
<v Speaker 1>can go to bed when I want to go to bed.

0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:49.800
<v Speaker 1>And it just made me think they are so stoked

0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:51.960
<v Speaker 1>to be here. And sometimes it's like the grass isn't

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:55.320
<v Speaker 1>always greener, And I think it's really important that we

0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.880
<v Speaker 1>touch on both sides of being single and being in relationships,

0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.280
<v Speaker 1>the pros and the cons of both, and just make

0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:05.880
<v Speaker 1>you guys realize that if you hit thirty and you're

0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:08.760
<v Speaker 1>not where you thought you would be, that's okay. You

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.320
<v Speaker 1>can run your own race and you can be on

0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:11.120
<v Speaker 1>your own timeline.

0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:17.200
<v Speaker 2>Right, you're like looking like said no, I was like, preach, sister,

0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:18.280
<v Speaker 2>I've really got on a tangent.

0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:19.920
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I was like, is that us? Have we just

0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.160
<v Speaker 1>done the whole topic that. Okay, that was my intro.

0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:24.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, BRIT's already used that she's already done the intro,

0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:26.760
<v Speaker 2>so we can just skip right to the content. No,

0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.120
<v Speaker 2>but it's so true. And then like, so basically, this

0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 2>episode is all going to be about being single in

0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.400
<v Speaker 2>your thirties, the social stigma that's attached to that, the

0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:38.800
<v Speaker 2>cultural expectations around especially women getting into relationships, and us

0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.520
<v Speaker 2>having this like biological clock, but also just having this

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:46.160
<v Speaker 2>expiration date almost and that our value as a person

0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:50.000
<v Speaker 2>and our worth is kind of tied up in are

0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:52.000
<v Speaker 2>you in a relationship or not? And how we want

0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.720
<v Speaker 2>to kind of break that down and redefine this. And

0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, one, if you are in a relationship, you'll

0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:59.920
<v Speaker 2>definitely sympathize with some of the parts of it that

0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.160
<v Speaker 2>aren't great or that you know that you might miss

0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:05.320
<v Speaker 2>about your single life. And if you are single at

0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:07.880
<v Speaker 2>the moment, then maybe this podcast will help you to

0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:11.080
<v Speaker 2>really embrace it and enjoy those years because it's not

0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.000
<v Speaker 2>going to be that forever. I also had it, and

0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.720
<v Speaker 2>I can't believe they said that one of our listeners

0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.560
<v Speaker 2>was laying in bed with a guy who she'd been

0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:20.440
<v Speaker 2>seeing him for a little while and she knew or

0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:22.480
<v Speaker 2>had the feeling that maybe he was seeing some other people,

0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 2>but they were not exclusive, so she was like, whatever,

0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:26.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm just going to see where this goes, not put

0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:28.560
<v Speaker 2>any pressure on it. He'd already said to her that

0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.640
<v Speaker 2>he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, so anyway,

0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.880
<v Speaker 2>he came over. They got to town, they had a

0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:36.440
<v Speaker 2>good night in between the sheets and they were lying

0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:38.840
<v Speaker 2>in bed cuddling, and he rolled over and said to her,

0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.760
<v Speaker 2>you know what, I really didn't think that I wanted

0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:46.320
<v Speaker 2>to be with anyone, but tonight's made me realize I

0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:47.800
<v Speaker 2>really want to be with the other girl that I've

0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:48.480
<v Speaker 2>been sleeping with.

0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.000
<v Speaker 1>That moment you realize you make someone want a relationship,

0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:57.160
<v Speaker 1>but it's just not with you. This episode's going to

0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:59.360
<v Speaker 1>be so great for you. Don't worry. Life is great

0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:03.720
<v Speaker 1>when you're single. I reckon. I have made so many

0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.800
<v Speaker 1>guys the perfect partner, Like I have been that person

0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.240
<v Speaker 1>so many times where I've dated people just that few times,

0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.600
<v Speaker 1>help them see what they want, help them be a

0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:14.239
<v Speaker 1>better person, and then they're like, I'm ready for love now,

0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:15.840
<v Speaker 1>but it's just not with me. Like I'm just I'm

0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.159
<v Speaker 1>always the one for the one, you're like the husband maker.

0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:20.480
<v Speaker 2>You're like, come to me or make you a husband

0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:22.200
<v Speaker 2>and then go on your merry way and live a happy,

0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:22.960
<v Speaker 2>happy life.

0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:23.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's me.

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:25.919
<v Speaker 2>So, although I think a lot of people who go

0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:28.400
<v Speaker 2>through breakups there's often this fear that they're gonna then

0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.000
<v Speaker 2>go into the next relationship and find the perfect person

0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:33.399
<v Speaker 2>and be perfectly happy. But I do also think we

0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:35.600
<v Speaker 2>need to keep perspective that often people, Yeah, sure they

0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:37.679
<v Speaker 2>go into new relationships, and yes they may end up

0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.040
<v Speaker 2>being with that person for forever, but they're still the

0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.520
<v Speaker 2>same person. People very rarely will enact all this change

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.360
<v Speaker 2>and become this totally different person and live this perfectly

0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:48.800
<v Speaker 2>happy life if they were not very good to you

0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:49.560
<v Speaker 2>in the first place.

0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:54.119
<v Speaker 1>No, it's more just that you're just I guess the

0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:57.159
<v Speaker 1>sounding board, like you're the everyone treats someone shit at

0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:58.639
<v Speaker 1>some point in their life before they treat someone like

0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:00.960
<v Speaker 1>a queen. Everyone makes mistakes. I'm just the one that

0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:03.200
<v Speaker 1>they always make the mistakes on. No, what I'm saying

0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:05.160
<v Speaker 1>is like, you're assuming that they then go and treat

0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:06.679
<v Speaker 1>someone like a queen. There's a lot of people out

0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:09.199
<v Speaker 1>there who get into relationships who continue to be douchebags.

0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:12.520
<v Speaker 1>That stuff doesn't always change. That's true, let's keep piscades

0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:14.360
<v Speaker 1>with people. But I'm like, you know, daywo le, I'm

0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:17.200
<v Speaker 1>looking at that fairy tale ending. I'm thinking the best

0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:24.119
<v Speaker 1>it's coming. It's all right, guys, let's jump into single

0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:27.480
<v Speaker 1>and thirty. Why are you single? This is the most

0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:31.120
<v Speaker 1>commonly asked and honestly the most hated question of any

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.959
<v Speaker 1>single person at any age. I can absolutely guarantee it.

0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:36.680
<v Speaker 1>It's sort of up there with don't worry Harne, It's

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:40.520
<v Speaker 1>just around the corner, or or hello, do you know

0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:42.639
<v Speaker 1>you've got a body clock? Like, yes, yes, I know.

0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:43.639
<v Speaker 1>But also I.

0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.240
<v Speaker 2>Think it's it's like feigned as a compliment, you know

0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.320
<v Speaker 2>this whole like, oh, but how are you single? It's

0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:50.959
<v Speaker 2>meant to be a compliment, but actually it's like the

0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:55.480
<v Speaker 2>most backhanded, like constantly reminding, oh, because I'm single, there's

0:18:55.520 --> 0:18:56.240
<v Speaker 2>nothing wrong with me.

0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:58.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm just single. No, So how are you single? Is

0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:02.480
<v Speaker 1>different to why are you single? People that say why

0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:04.359
<v Speaker 1>are you? How are you single? Can be really cute

0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:06.360
<v Speaker 1>and positive, like, how on earth you single? You're such

0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:08.440
<v Speaker 1>a cash? Why are you single? He's like, what's wrong

0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:09.120
<v Speaker 1>with you? No? See?

0:19:09.160 --> 0:19:11.320
<v Speaker 2>I disagree because I still think how are you single?

0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:13.679
<v Speaker 2>Means that people who are single must be defective. So

0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:15.960
<v Speaker 2>it's like, well, how did you end up being single?

0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:18.320
<v Speaker 2>Because you see normal? So I still think that they

0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:19.680
<v Speaker 2>both play into a negative.

0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:22.600
<v Speaker 1>If someone says to me, how are you single, I'm like, Okay,

0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:23.760
<v Speaker 1>that's more cute. I'm like cute.

0:19:23.760 --> 0:19:25.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm going to fight you on this stone cause

0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:26.960
<v Speaker 2>it's the same as people being like, you're different to

0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:30.919
<v Speaker 2>other girls. No, Like, that's not cute. Stop saying the

0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:33.400
<v Speaker 2>girls or psychos, we're not like. It's the same kind

0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.520
<v Speaker 2>of it's meant to be a compliment, but I think

0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:38.159
<v Speaker 2>it's a backhanded compliment without realizing Printanty is like I

0:19:38.200 --> 0:19:38.960
<v Speaker 2>love compliment.

0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:42.120
<v Speaker 1>No, I just I'm not the same other girl. I'm

0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:45.240
<v Speaker 1>not the same She's like this guy said that to

0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:49.680
<v Speaker 1>me last night. It was really cute. Look, I think

0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:51.080
<v Speaker 1>it's not the end of the world if someone said

0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:52.879
<v Speaker 1>that to me. But these are the sort of questions

0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:55.480
<v Speaker 1>that you do need to reconsider. If you've got a

0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:57.720
<v Speaker 1>single friend or anyone that you meet in your life,

0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:01.720
<v Speaker 1>you have to reconsider asking on these questions, why mom,

0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:04.080
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't say it anymore? Because I had to say

0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:05.639
<v Speaker 1>something to it. But she used to say it to

0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:09.040
<v Speaker 1>me without meaning anything bad by it. But she used

0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:12.120
<v Speaker 1>to say things to me like I would be dating

0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:14.120
<v Speaker 1>all the time if I and I was so open

0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:15.639
<v Speaker 1>with my mom, So I used to tell her everything,

0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:17.080
<v Speaker 1>like going on a second date with this guy, going

0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.080
<v Speaker 1>a third day with this guy. She'd call me, She's like,

0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:21.439
<v Speaker 1>how's that guy? I bet I'm not seeing him anymore?

0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:24.959
<v Speaker 1>Why not? Uh, he didn't want to see me anymore.

0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:27.520
<v Speaker 1>He didn't feel anything. And she would say things like

0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:30.080
<v Speaker 1>what do you think's wrong with you? Or what do

0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:32.520
<v Speaker 1>you think you did? Things like that, but she would

0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:35.240
<v Speaker 1>not she didn't mean that in any way. That was

0:20:35.280 --> 0:20:37.359
<v Speaker 1>her way of just trying to say, like what went wrong?

0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:39.200
<v Speaker 1>And I hadn't eventually said it. I was like, Mom,

0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 1>you can't phrase it like that because I just feel

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:42.080
<v Speaker 1>like something's wrong with me. And she's like, oh, what

0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:44.280
<v Speaker 1>do you mean like that? But it's just really I

0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:47.320
<v Speaker 1>think this really reiterates how important it is to choose

0:20:47.920 --> 0:20:51.520
<v Speaker 1>the right word and when you're addressing people like this. Yeah, totally.

0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:52.960
<v Speaker 2>And I think you know the reason why we wanted

0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:55.119
<v Speaker 2>to do this episode is because, like we've talked loads

0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:57.919
<v Speaker 2>about being single. We've talked loads about relationships. If you

0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.000
<v Speaker 2>listen and you'd be listening to this podcast for a while,

0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:02.080
<v Speaker 2>you might feel like that we've covered this, but we've

0:21:02.080 --> 0:21:04.000
<v Speaker 2>done it in such a sporadic way over so many

0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:06.960
<v Speaker 2>different episodes that we really wanted to have an episode

0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:10.919
<v Speaker 2>that's dedicated to being single in your thirties, because, you know,

0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:13.119
<v Speaker 2>there's so many people who are out there, so many women,

0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:15.600
<v Speaker 2>so many men who are out there who are single,

0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:19.960
<v Speaker 2>and there really is this cultural expectation and this societal

0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:22.720
<v Speaker 2>pressure that you should be in a relationship by the

0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:25.359
<v Speaker 2>time you're in your thirties, and you know, the older

0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:27.840
<v Speaker 2>that you get in your thirties, the more that you're

0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:31.560
<v Speaker 2>wasting time or that you know, maybe your expectations are

0:21:31.600 --> 0:21:34.120
<v Speaker 2>too high, maybe you should settle. So we really wanted

0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:36.480
<v Speaker 2>to address what that looks like. And for anyone who

0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:39.760
<v Speaker 2>who listened to the episode that we did, which was

0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Free brittany Where, Britt was talking all about her experience, well,

0:21:44.200 --> 0:21:47.439
<v Speaker 2>her experience with you know, Tim, and then how she

0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:49.520
<v Speaker 2>felt like, you know, no one's going to love me.

0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:53.040
<v Speaker 2>One of the most common messages we had as a

0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:56.200
<v Speaker 2>result of that episode was when you spoke really vulnerably

0:21:56.280 --> 0:21:59.040
<v Speaker 2>about how how it felt to be single and how

0:21:59.080 --> 0:22:01.800
<v Speaker 2>you felt like that there was a part of you

0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 2>that was unlovable, and so many people resonated with that,

0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:07.159
<v Speaker 2>and that's kind of what made us realize, Okay, we

0:22:07.200 --> 0:22:09.480
<v Speaker 2>really need to talk about this because there are so

0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:12.040
<v Speaker 2>many great aspects of being single, but that doesn't mean

0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:14.400
<v Speaker 2>that you can't feel the full spectrum of emotions as well.

0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:17.600
<v Speaker 1>And we do really want to drive home that this.

0:22:18.600 --> 0:22:20.639
<v Speaker 1>Whilst we are going to delve into single and thirty,

0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:23.800
<v Speaker 1>these messages go for anyone single at any age, any

0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:26.000
<v Speaker 1>feelings that you're feeling, what we're going to talk about

0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:27.879
<v Speaker 1>pros and cons are going to relate to you as well.

0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:30.960
<v Speaker 1>The only reason why sort of driving home the number

0:22:31.000 --> 0:22:33.720
<v Speaker 1>thirty is because it does seem to be this magic

0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:36.600
<v Speaker 1>number in society where we're supposed to have our shit together.

0:22:36.880 --> 0:22:38.879
<v Speaker 1>You're supposed to have been married, supposed to have your

0:22:38.920 --> 0:22:40.760
<v Speaker 1>job sorted, you're supposed to know where you're going, you're

0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:42.359
<v Speaker 1>supposed to have done all this shit, you're supposed to

0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:45.240
<v Speaker 1>have kids, and all of a sudden, for some reason,

0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:48.080
<v Speaker 1>there's this stigma attached that if you hit thirty or

0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:51.360
<v Speaker 1>you are newly single at thirty two, thirty three, thirty four,

0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:54.280
<v Speaker 1>there's this stigma attach that you're a failure, that you're unlovable,

0:22:54.280 --> 0:22:56.600
<v Speaker 1>that you've done something wrong, that no one wants you,

0:22:57.000 --> 0:22:58.840
<v Speaker 1>that it's not going to happen for you, that you're

0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:00.800
<v Speaker 1>not going to have your kids in time, and it

0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:06.119
<v Speaker 1>can be this really negative, all consuming, drowning feeling that

0:23:06.200 --> 0:23:08.520
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people feel. So I want to talk

0:23:08.520 --> 0:23:10.120
<v Speaker 1>about that a lot, and I'm going to be really

0:23:10.119 --> 0:23:12.920
<v Speaker 1>honest with you because I'm someone that has been in

0:23:13.000 --> 0:23:16.600
<v Speaker 1>long term relationships for about ten years total, and I'm

0:23:16.640 --> 0:23:19.159
<v Speaker 1>someone coming up to nine years single. So I have

0:23:19.320 --> 0:23:23.480
<v Speaker 1>done both ends of the spectrum and all my single

0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:25.560
<v Speaker 1>years have been in my older years, and I have

0:23:25.880 --> 0:23:29.840
<v Speaker 1>just turned thirty three this week, so I feel like

0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:34.280
<v Speaker 1>it's relevant. I also was very infamously dumped on The

0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:38.120
<v Speaker 1>Bachelor on my thirtieth birthday, so I was literally talking

0:23:38.160 --> 0:23:41.200
<v Speaker 1>about being thirty and single. I was sitting at home

0:23:41.720 --> 0:23:46.440
<v Speaker 1>turning thirty whilst the nation watched me be dumped. So

0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:50.119
<v Speaker 1>I can say that all of this comes from a

0:23:50.160 --> 0:23:53.399
<v Speaker 1>place of experience. We often say Laura and I. Laura

0:23:53.640 --> 0:23:56.280
<v Speaker 1>always says it. She's like, we are unqualified to be

0:23:56.320 --> 0:23:58.479
<v Speaker 1>giving this advice, but I feel like I am an

0:23:58.520 --> 0:24:01.119
<v Speaker 1>expert this field. I should have a back. Oh that

0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:05.360
<v Speaker 1>was no pun intended. I feel like about I felt

0:24:05.400 --> 0:24:08.520
<v Speaker 1>like a bachelor degree, but I should have a bachelor too. Okay, guys,

0:24:08.600 --> 0:24:10.879
<v Speaker 1>going to take a real quick break to say thanks

0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:11.600
<v Speaker 1>to our sponsor.

0:24:11.840 --> 0:24:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Also, I really want to reiterate and just drive this

0:24:14.040 --> 0:24:16.880
<v Speaker 2>point home this this episode is not just for people

0:24:16.880 --> 0:24:19.920
<v Speaker 2>who are single. This episode is also for people who

0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:23.520
<v Speaker 2>are in their thirties and they are in relationships where

0:24:23.520 --> 0:24:26.399
<v Speaker 2>they're not happy, but they're so fearful about breaking a

0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:29.359
<v Speaker 2>relationship or leaving someone who's not good for them, or

0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:33.000
<v Speaker 2>they've settled for something that's like you know, they're dating down. Basically,

0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:36.359
<v Speaker 2>if you acknowledge that there's a part of you that

0:24:36.359 --> 0:24:38.400
<v Speaker 2>feels like you're settling and the reason why you're doing

0:24:38.400 --> 0:24:39.960
<v Speaker 2>that is because you're like, well, it's too hard now,

0:24:40.240 --> 0:24:41.880
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to go out there and find someone new,

0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:45.280
<v Speaker 2>biological clock, all these different things. Then you know, we

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:48.199
<v Speaker 2>just want you to have another perspective on that, to

0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:51.080
<v Speaker 2>think about life is long, you don't want to spend

0:24:51.080 --> 0:24:53.160
<v Speaker 2>it with the wrong person, and you sure shit would

0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:55.760
<v Speaker 2>rather be single than to be in an unhappy relationship.

0:24:55.840 --> 0:24:58.960
<v Speaker 2>So this, this topic, and this episode is also for you. Actually,

0:24:59.000 --> 0:25:00.800
<v Speaker 2>I just want to start by saying I did a

0:25:00.840 --> 0:25:02.439
<v Speaker 2>lot of research in this. Obviously I'm going to give

0:25:02.440 --> 0:25:05.600
<v Speaker 2>you my personal opinions and my personal thoughts, but research

0:25:05.640 --> 0:25:09.840
<v Speaker 2>showed that most people real happiness begins for them at

0:25:09.880 --> 0:25:12.720
<v Speaker 2>age thirty three. You get to a certain age where

0:25:12.720 --> 0:25:16.280
<v Speaker 2>you just don't suffer bullshit anymore, right like your your relationships,

0:25:16.320 --> 0:25:18.320
<v Speaker 2>you have this like level of confidence that comes out

0:25:18.320 --> 0:25:21.119
<v Speaker 2>in your thirties. I think that, you know, when they

0:25:21.200 --> 0:25:24.240
<v Speaker 2>say like youth is wasted on the young's, there's truth

0:25:24.280 --> 0:25:25.840
<v Speaker 2>to it. And I think that the older that you get,

0:25:25.880 --> 0:25:27.680
<v Speaker 2>the more that you realize it really is the case.

0:25:27.800 --> 0:25:29.160
<v Speaker 1>Because since I.

0:25:29.160 --> 0:25:31.360
<v Speaker 2>Have been, you know, in my thirties, I just care

0:25:31.440 --> 0:25:33.040
<v Speaker 2>less about the things that I used to care so

0:25:33.160 --> 0:25:35.520
<v Speaker 2>much about, Like I care not that I don't care

0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:38.119
<v Speaker 2>about the way I look, but I care my self

0:25:38.160 --> 0:25:40.600
<v Speaker 2>worth isn't dependent on the way I look now, and

0:25:40.720 --> 0:25:43.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel so insecure in social settings, and I

0:25:43.119 --> 0:25:46.359
<v Speaker 2>don't feel or worry about what other people think of

0:25:46.400 --> 0:25:47.960
<v Speaker 2>me like I used to. And I think that there's

0:25:48.000 --> 0:25:50.359
<v Speaker 2>this real liberation that comes when you reach you know,

0:25:51.040 --> 0:25:54.000
<v Speaker 2>the rifle age of thirty thirty five, thirty six or

0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:56.080
<v Speaker 2>seven thirty eight forty. And I think that that really

0:25:56.119 --> 0:25:58.600
<v Speaker 2>just gets better and better with this self acceptance that

0:25:58.680 --> 0:25:59.879
<v Speaker 2>happens as you get older.

0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:02.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I just think there's a multitude of reasons

0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:03.439
<v Speaker 1>the more I thought about it and the more I

0:26:03.480 --> 0:26:06.560
<v Speaker 1>read about it. So you hit thirty, and all of

0:26:06.600 --> 0:26:09.840
<v Speaker 1>a sudden, you're in a better place, usually financially, so

0:26:10.320 --> 0:26:12.720
<v Speaker 1>you're starting to settle into your job. You've made some

0:26:12.760 --> 0:26:15.080
<v Speaker 1>progression in your career, You've put some money behind you,

0:26:15.080 --> 0:26:17.680
<v Speaker 1>you might have savings, so you feel comfortable in that sense.

0:26:18.720 --> 0:26:21.520
<v Speaker 1>You hopefully have gotten all the red flags out of

0:26:21.520 --> 0:26:24.280
<v Speaker 1>the way. You have dated, you've made mistakes, you've seen

0:26:24.320 --> 0:26:27.959
<v Speaker 1>the bullshit, you've seen the assholes. You've had your heartbreak,

0:26:28.119 --> 0:26:31.080
<v Speaker 1>and you've learned a lot of lessons from it. Also,

0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:32.520
<v Speaker 1>like you just said, you get to this place of

0:26:32.520 --> 0:26:35.600
<v Speaker 1>confidence where you just don't care anymore. You know the

0:26:35.720 --> 0:26:38.119
<v Speaker 1>value of time, and you know what you want and

0:26:38.119 --> 0:26:39.760
<v Speaker 1>you know what you're looking for, and you don't put

0:26:39.800 --> 0:26:42.600
<v Speaker 1>up with anything less. So I feel like it all

0:26:42.640 --> 0:26:45.040
<v Speaker 1>sort of molds into one. You hit thirty to thirty

0:26:45.080 --> 0:26:47.680
<v Speaker 1>five and you're like wow, like and this is good

0:26:47.720 --> 0:26:49.720
<v Speaker 1>for me because I turned thirty three four days ago,

0:26:49.840 --> 0:26:51.160
<v Speaker 1>so this is my year of happiness.

0:26:51.480 --> 0:26:53.479
<v Speaker 2>Well I even say, like I reckon my Like, the

0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:55.880
<v Speaker 2>best year I've ever had was thirty one, thirty two,

0:26:56.760 --> 0:26:58.600
<v Speaker 2>thirty one, thirty two, thirty three, I had Malley and

0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:02.159
<v Speaker 2>thirty three, so The Bachelor thirty one. I turned thirty

0:27:02.160 --> 0:27:03.840
<v Speaker 2>one when I was on the show, like when we

0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:07.119
<v Speaker 2>were actually filming the show, and my life in my

0:27:07.160 --> 0:27:10.120
<v Speaker 2>twenties was just really complicated. I mean, I think back

0:27:10.160 --> 0:27:12.040
<v Speaker 2>on my dating life form my twenties, and my dating

0:27:12.080 --> 0:27:14.680
<v Speaker 2>life was so complicated, and I've spoken about it loads

0:27:15.119 --> 0:27:16.680
<v Speaker 2>before and I'm not going to go into it into

0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:18.399
<v Speaker 2>too much detail, but like that was when I was

0:27:18.400 --> 0:27:20.720
<v Speaker 2>making all the mistakes in my relationships. Like I was

0:27:20.800 --> 0:27:23.719
<v Speaker 2>dating the wrong type of guys, the same type of guys.

0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:27.920
<v Speaker 2>I was getting into toxic relationships. I didn't value myself.

0:27:27.960 --> 0:27:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I didn't think that I was worth anybody better than

0:27:31.119 --> 0:27:32.560
<v Speaker 2>the people that I was dating. And I know that

0:27:32.560 --> 0:27:35.840
<v Speaker 2>that sounds really self entitled, but like you know, I

0:27:35.880 --> 0:27:37.679
<v Speaker 2>was being treated like shit, I was being cheated on,

0:27:37.720 --> 0:27:39.439
<v Speaker 2>and I still was going back for more and for

0:27:39.480 --> 0:27:41.879
<v Speaker 2>more and for more, and I didn't have any standards.

0:27:42.200 --> 0:27:45.080
<v Speaker 2>And it wasn't until after my thirtieth birthday when I

0:27:45.119 --> 0:27:47.840
<v Speaker 2>went through a really cataclysmic breakup on my thirtieth birthday

0:27:47.880 --> 0:27:50.879
<v Speaker 2>as well, it wasn't on national TV, but it was

0:27:50.960 --> 0:27:55.439
<v Speaker 2>pretty bad that I realized I wanted something more for

0:27:55.520 --> 0:27:59.280
<v Speaker 2>myself and then things Obviously I got really lucky. I mean,

0:27:59.320 --> 0:28:00.959
<v Speaker 2>I know that there is a huge amount of luck

0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:03.719
<v Speaker 2>that played into my circumstances with meeting Matt, but my

0:28:03.800 --> 0:28:06.200
<v Speaker 2>life has only gotten better since being in my thirties,

0:28:06.240 --> 0:28:08.480
<v Speaker 2>and there's you know, we want to kind of go

0:28:08.560 --> 0:28:11.280
<v Speaker 2>into like the good bits about being single, But one

0:28:11.280 --> 0:28:13.439
<v Speaker 2>thing I do want to touch on is you can

0:28:13.440 --> 0:28:16.080
<v Speaker 2>get into this real negative self talk when you're not

0:28:16.160 --> 0:28:18.680
<v Speaker 2>happy with the current situation that you're in. So if

0:28:18.680 --> 0:28:20.680
<v Speaker 2>you are single and you want to have a boyfriend,

0:28:20.760 --> 0:28:23.439
<v Speaker 2>it's very easy to think that it's going to be

0:28:23.520 --> 0:28:25.560
<v Speaker 2>like this forever and you're trying to project what the

0:28:25.560 --> 0:28:28.920
<v Speaker 2>future is going to be like. And I just think

0:28:28.960 --> 0:28:31.359
<v Speaker 2>it's so important to not speak to yourself in a

0:28:31.400 --> 0:28:32.960
<v Speaker 2>way where you're saying, like, well, I'm going to be

0:28:32.960 --> 0:28:35.200
<v Speaker 2>single next year or I'm going to be single forever.

0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:37.879
<v Speaker 2>No one's gonna love me because you literally don't know

0:28:37.920 --> 0:28:40.640
<v Speaker 2>what's around the corner. You literally don't know what decisions

0:28:40.680 --> 0:28:42.960
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna make, or who you're going to meet, and

0:28:43.280 --> 0:28:45.720
<v Speaker 2>how your life could change in an instant. I just

0:28:45.760 --> 0:28:47.920
<v Speaker 2>think that's a really important thing to throw out there

0:28:47.960 --> 0:28:50.200
<v Speaker 2>to start with, to say, like this negative self talk

0:28:51.000 --> 0:28:53.880
<v Speaker 2>because you're unhappy with the situation right now. This is

0:28:53.880 --> 0:28:56.240
<v Speaker 2>not going to be your life forever. Life is so dynamic.

0:28:56.240 --> 0:28:58.640
<v Speaker 2>Shit changes so quickly. Three and a half years ago,

0:28:58.680 --> 0:29:01.560
<v Speaker 2>I was single. Now I have kid like it's wild.

0:29:01.680 --> 0:29:03.840
<v Speaker 2>That is wild, But you know what, it takes nine months,

0:29:05.440 --> 0:29:09.240
<v Speaker 2>months and maybe seven minutes. Who knows nine months and

0:29:09.440 --> 0:29:10.120
<v Speaker 2>seven minutes.

0:29:12.040 --> 0:29:14.360
<v Speaker 1>No, And I'm I'm guys, I'm gonna be really real

0:29:14.400 --> 0:29:17.720
<v Speaker 1>with you throughout this episode. I don't want to sugarcoat things,

0:29:17.720 --> 0:29:20.000
<v Speaker 1>because I think it's important that we do take the

0:29:20.040 --> 0:29:24.480
<v Speaker 1>bad way the good I guess, and I will be

0:29:24.640 --> 0:29:29.040
<v Speaker 1>really honest and tell you that I have had really, really,

0:29:29.360 --> 0:29:32.720
<v Speaker 1>really tough times, and I have been so horrible to

0:29:32.840 --> 0:29:36.680
<v Speaker 1>myself and to be around. I've locked myself in my

0:29:37.000 --> 0:29:39.240
<v Speaker 1>house for weeks and just not wanted to go out,

0:29:39.280 --> 0:29:43.600
<v Speaker 1>and it's all because it's stemmed from this feeling of

0:29:43.680 --> 0:29:46.560
<v Speaker 1>not being good enough. No one wants you, You'll never

0:29:46.600 --> 0:29:50.040
<v Speaker 1>be loved, You're never going to meet anyone. I genuinely

0:29:50.080 --> 0:29:52.120
<v Speaker 1>would tell myself. I would look in the mirror and

0:29:52.240 --> 0:29:55.000
<v Speaker 1>I can't believe I would say this. I would look

0:29:55.000 --> 0:29:57.320
<v Speaker 1>in the mirror and say to myself. I would be like,

0:29:57.400 --> 0:30:00.920
<v Speaker 1>you are so disgusting. I couldn't look at myself and

0:30:00.920 --> 0:30:03.320
<v Speaker 1>I would cancel my night out. It all came from

0:30:04.080 --> 0:30:07.280
<v Speaker 1>this feeling of not being good enough in a relationship.

0:30:07.280 --> 0:30:10.240
<v Speaker 1>That's where it stemmed from. And I was the sort

0:30:10.240 --> 0:30:11.880
<v Speaker 1>of person that I shouldn't have let it grow, but

0:30:11.920 --> 0:30:14.600
<v Speaker 1>I did. Couldn't stand aside of myself, and I would

0:30:14.600 --> 0:30:16.640
<v Speaker 1>tell myself every day, no one's ever gonna love you

0:30:16.680 --> 0:30:19.320
<v Speaker 1>like you will be alone forever. And that is half

0:30:19.360 --> 0:30:22.720
<v Speaker 1>the battle, because we talk about this all the time,

0:30:22.840 --> 0:30:25.720
<v Speaker 1>this really negative self talk. If you tell yourself that

0:30:25.760 --> 0:30:28.280
<v Speaker 1>every day, you're gonna believe it, that's the energy you're

0:30:28.320 --> 0:30:30.640
<v Speaker 1>gonna put out into the world. And you're never going

0:30:30.720 --> 0:30:33.520
<v Speaker 1>to receive anything back because you're not giving anything good out.

0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:37.680
<v Speaker 1>And I can't stress that enough that I know I'm

0:30:37.680 --> 0:30:39.080
<v Speaker 1>not disgusting now.

0:30:38.840 --> 0:30:41.840
<v Speaker 2>Like literally everyone listening to this is like, oh god

0:30:41.840 --> 0:30:44.120
<v Speaker 2>it Brittain Hill's like that, there's no help for me.

0:30:44.280 --> 0:30:45.760
<v Speaker 1>But that's why. And I mean, we touched on it

0:30:45.800 --> 0:30:48.320
<v Speaker 1>with the body dysmorphy episode, and I think it's I

0:30:48.360 --> 0:30:50.440
<v Speaker 1>think it's really important for people. I hope that someone,

0:30:50.560 --> 0:30:52.040
<v Speaker 1>I hope that you guys are listening out there now.

0:30:52.120 --> 0:30:54.480
<v Speaker 1>And I'm not saying for any sort of atension. I'm

0:30:54.480 --> 0:30:56.800
<v Speaker 1>not saying it for any reason other than I want

0:30:56.800 --> 0:30:59.360
<v Speaker 1>to be honest and say that you don't know what

0:30:59.480 --> 0:31:02.080
<v Speaker 1>anyone is feeling, or what they're going through, or how

0:31:02.080 --> 0:31:05.720
<v Speaker 1>a relationship in the past, whether that's a family relationship,

0:31:05.840 --> 0:31:09.000
<v Speaker 1>a romantic relationship, how that has affected someone and what

0:31:09.000 --> 0:31:12.400
<v Speaker 1>they actually believe about themselves. So I just want to say,

0:31:12.520 --> 0:31:14.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm only telling you this so that you guys know

0:31:14.480 --> 0:31:18.160
<v Speaker 1>that if this is hitting home with you in any way,

0:31:18.800 --> 0:31:20.800
<v Speaker 1>that A it's normal to feel like that at some point,

0:31:20.840 --> 0:31:23.680
<v Speaker 1>but it's really really important to pull yourself out of

0:31:23.720 --> 0:31:25.320
<v Speaker 1>that and see the positive. I want to start by

0:31:25.320 --> 0:31:32.360
<v Speaker 1>saying being single can be bloody awesome. I want to

0:31:32.400 --> 0:31:36.960
<v Speaker 1>start by talking and discussing the good, positive, fun, amazing

0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:39.720
<v Speaker 1>aspects of being single and what it can do and

0:31:39.760 --> 0:31:42.320
<v Speaker 1>why it is really important to see how great life

0:31:42.400 --> 0:31:42.640
<v Speaker 1>can be.

0:31:42.880 --> 0:31:45.520
<v Speaker 2>When we talk about relationships and we see and relationships

0:31:45.520 --> 0:31:47.360
<v Speaker 2>are held up as like the beacon of what everyone

0:31:47.360 --> 0:31:49.600
<v Speaker 2>should want, there is a lot of pressure to be

0:31:49.760 --> 0:31:51.840
<v Speaker 2>that and to have that. But that is also we

0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:53.520
<v Speaker 2>talk about Instagram as well a lot, but that is

0:31:53.560 --> 0:31:56.080
<v Speaker 2>also because you only ever see the highlight reel, right,

0:31:56.160 --> 0:31:58.120
<v Speaker 2>Like when Britta and I were talking about this conversation,

0:31:58.240 --> 0:32:00.400
<v Speaker 2>I was like, you never see the ship parts of

0:32:00.440 --> 0:32:02.960
<v Speaker 2>a relationship, and like I love Matt with all my

0:32:03.040 --> 0:32:05.239
<v Speaker 2>heart and I would not want anything different for my

0:32:05.280 --> 0:32:07.200
<v Speaker 2>life now, and I love Mali. But that's not to

0:32:07.240 --> 0:32:10.240
<v Speaker 2>say that there aren't times where I feel really jealous

0:32:10.280 --> 0:32:12.040
<v Speaker 2>that you're able to just go to the gym whenever

0:32:12.080 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 2>you want to, that you're able to live your life

0:32:14.200 --> 0:32:17.040
<v Speaker 2>in whatever way, make whatever decisions you want, whenever you

0:32:17.080 --> 0:32:19.800
<v Speaker 2>want them. If you clean your house, you come home

0:32:19.920 --> 0:32:23.000
<v Speaker 2>to a clean house. If I clean my house, I

0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:25.560
<v Speaker 2>come home to a shit storm and my headphones are

0:32:25.560 --> 0:32:29.640
<v Speaker 2>in the bin. Like, honestly, it's chaos. It's absolutely chaos.

0:32:29.640 --> 0:32:31.640
<v Speaker 2>And like you have to have this level of acceptance

0:32:31.680 --> 0:32:33.760
<v Speaker 2>once you have kids, and you're in a relationship that like,

0:32:34.120 --> 0:32:36.320
<v Speaker 2>your life is never going to be just your life again.

0:32:36.360 --> 0:32:38.440
<v Speaker 2>And it's actually taking me a really long time in

0:32:38.480 --> 0:32:41.760
<v Speaker 2>the last year to be okay with that, because there

0:32:41.800 --> 0:32:45.880
<v Speaker 2>are days where I personally feel really jealous that I

0:32:45.920 --> 0:32:47.880
<v Speaker 2>don't get to just be me anymore, and I feel

0:32:47.920 --> 0:32:50.600
<v Speaker 2>like I've lost myself in that. So I think it's

0:32:50.760 --> 0:32:53.479
<v Speaker 2>very easy to look at what somebody else has and

0:32:53.560 --> 0:32:55.360
<v Speaker 2>to think that your life will be better when you

0:32:55.440 --> 0:32:58.520
<v Speaker 2>have it. But in saying that life can be great

0:32:58.560 --> 0:33:00.840
<v Speaker 2>when you're single, life can be great when you're in

0:33:00.880 --> 0:33:04.720
<v Speaker 2>a relationship, there's shades of grey to both of them,

0:33:04.840 --> 0:33:06.800
<v Speaker 2>you know. But people who are in relationships are only

0:33:06.840 --> 0:33:10.080
<v Speaker 2>taking photos and sharing photos during the positive times. I'm

0:33:10.080 --> 0:33:13.040
<v Speaker 2>not taking photos where Maley vomits on my chest. I'm like, hey, honey,

0:33:13.080 --> 0:33:13.960
<v Speaker 2>go get the camera up.

0:33:14.080 --> 0:33:18.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. And similarly, I'm not taking photos when I'm at home,

0:33:18.520 --> 0:33:21.000
<v Speaker 1>living alone on my own, eating a can of tuna

0:33:21.040 --> 0:33:23.960
<v Speaker 1>for dinner, watching a sad rom com. Like, I'm not

0:33:24.040 --> 0:33:27.080
<v Speaker 1>showing you, guys those pasts. I'm showing you like me

0:33:27.160 --> 0:33:29.720
<v Speaker 1>being unhappy. You're showing you the best highlights of your life.

0:33:29.800 --> 0:33:31.480
<v Speaker 1>So it's really important that people remember that.

0:33:31.600 --> 0:33:33.280
<v Speaker 2>And there are loads of people who are single and

0:33:33.280 --> 0:33:35.080
<v Speaker 2>who are happy, and there are loads of people who

0:33:35.080 --> 0:33:38.960
<v Speaker 2>are in relationships who feel completely isolated and unloved. So

0:33:39.680 --> 0:33:43.400
<v Speaker 2>having a relationship is not a determining factor for your happiness.

0:33:43.680 --> 0:33:46.400
<v Speaker 2>Happiness comes from doing the hard yards when you're single,

0:33:46.440 --> 0:33:49.240
<v Speaker 2>and like really working on your own personal and self

0:33:49.240 --> 0:33:52.880
<v Speaker 2>development so that your happiness is already there. Somebody else

0:33:52.920 --> 0:33:54.880
<v Speaker 2>can just add to your life a bit of flavor,

0:33:54.960 --> 0:33:56.959
<v Speaker 2>a bit more of love, a bit more stability.

0:33:57.360 --> 0:33:58.880
<v Speaker 1>But the number one point I want to say is

0:33:58.880 --> 0:34:01.880
<v Speaker 1>if you're single, eat, You've got all the time in

0:34:01.920 --> 0:34:04.080
<v Speaker 1>the world. You can do what you want. You can

0:34:04.120 --> 0:34:06.480
<v Speaker 1>go where you want when you want, you can travel alone.

0:34:06.600 --> 0:34:09.600
<v Speaker 1>You don't have to make plans. You can sit at

0:34:09.600 --> 0:34:12.680
<v Speaker 1>home and eat cereal for dinner if you don't want

0:34:12.680 --> 0:34:14.759
<v Speaker 1>it every day. Well no, but like if you could,

0:34:15.080 --> 0:34:16.920
<v Speaker 1>you could because you don't have to worry anyone else.

0:34:17.040 --> 0:34:18.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you can do that in a relationship too.

0:34:18.960 --> 0:34:23.239
<v Speaker 1>Just shit gets weird after a while, but it sounds selfish,

0:34:24.400 --> 0:34:27.279
<v Speaker 1>but it's not. When I say, the only person you

0:34:27.320 --> 0:34:29.840
<v Speaker 1>need to think about is you, And that is a really,

0:34:30.080 --> 0:34:32.360
<v Speaker 1>really nice place to be in because you won't be

0:34:32.520 --> 0:34:35.960
<v Speaker 1>in it forever. So this is the time where you

0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:39.560
<v Speaker 1>get your creative juices flowing. You find out who you

0:34:39.560 --> 0:34:40.799
<v Speaker 1>are and what it is you want to do when

0:34:40.840 --> 0:34:44.319
<v Speaker 1>you go and do it. It's actually proven that people that

0:34:44.360 --> 0:34:48.400
<v Speaker 1>are single or living on their own are more driven

0:34:48.680 --> 0:34:53.319
<v Speaker 1>and can be generally more successful because they have more

0:34:53.360 --> 0:34:55.200
<v Speaker 1>time to focus. They have more time to sit at

0:34:55.200 --> 0:34:57.560
<v Speaker 1>home and be like, you know what, I've always had

0:34:57.560 --> 0:34:59.040
<v Speaker 1>this idea, I'm going to do it. They don't have

0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:00.759
<v Speaker 1>a kid, they don't have a h to look after,

0:35:00.800 --> 0:35:02.200
<v Speaker 1>and I'm not saying you have to look after them,

0:35:02.200 --> 0:35:04.920
<v Speaker 1>but they've just got nothing else taking their energy and

0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:07.560
<v Speaker 1>their time. So it's known that these people are more

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:09.280
<v Speaker 1>likely to go and pursue their dreams.

0:35:09.360 --> 0:35:11.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, you actually just said something, which is I think

0:35:12.120 --> 0:35:13.719
<v Speaker 2>I think something. This is something that a lot of

0:35:13.800 --> 0:35:17.520
<v Speaker 2>mothers specifically will deal with, and women who are in

0:35:17.560 --> 0:35:20.400
<v Speaker 2>relationships and they have only newly kind of like gotten

0:35:20.440 --> 0:35:21.919
<v Speaker 2>into this parental role.

0:35:22.440 --> 0:35:23.399
<v Speaker 1>Actually I take the back.

0:35:23.400 --> 0:35:27.560
<v Speaker 2>Maybe definitely not new parents, people who have toddlers, small children.

0:35:28.000 --> 0:35:30.040
<v Speaker 2>We're kind of sold on this idea of a happy

0:35:30.080 --> 0:35:33.640
<v Speaker 2>family and like the happy family dynamic. But what I

0:35:33.880 --> 0:35:37.000
<v Speaker 2>was unaware of And I mean, I definitely can't fault

0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:38.680
<v Speaker 2>Matt on it, because he's stepped up to the table

0:35:38.719 --> 0:35:42.120
<v Speaker 2>massively now. But what I wasn't aware of is that

0:35:42.680 --> 0:35:46.000
<v Speaker 2>women in relationships who have children, even if they're the

0:35:46.000 --> 0:35:49.840
<v Speaker 2>bread winners, even if they're working, we still more often

0:35:49.840 --> 0:35:51.360
<v Speaker 2>than not, And I see this with my friends, I

0:35:51.400 --> 0:35:53.759
<v Speaker 2>see this in other relationships more often than not, that

0:35:53.800 --> 0:35:56.080
<v Speaker 2>the women still does the line's share of the work

0:35:56.080 --> 0:35:59.120
<v Speaker 2>in the house. There is still this patriarchal expectation that

0:35:59.560 --> 0:36:02.120
<v Speaker 2>the women do the housework. I just see so many

0:36:02.400 --> 0:36:07.520
<v Speaker 2>moms who are exhausted, exasperated, like don't feel like they

0:36:07.800 --> 0:36:10.200
<v Speaker 2>understand or know themselves anymore, don't even feel like they

0:36:10.200 --> 0:36:12.560
<v Speaker 2>feel like they're a shell of their old self because

0:36:12.800 --> 0:36:15.000
<v Speaker 2>they're working all day. Then they're coming home, they're taking

0:36:15.040 --> 0:36:16.920
<v Speaker 2>care of children, they're cooking, they're cleaning.

0:36:17.280 --> 0:36:17.640
<v Speaker 1>Nothing.

0:36:17.840 --> 0:36:21.440
<v Speaker 2>Like I said, nothing stays clean. And it's this like perpetual,

0:36:21.560 --> 0:36:25.239
<v Speaker 2>never ending, absolutely exhausting cycle that you get into. And

0:36:25.520 --> 0:36:27.600
<v Speaker 2>I just think it's so easy to be sold on

0:36:27.600 --> 0:36:29.359
<v Speaker 2>this dream that life is going to be better once

0:36:29.400 --> 0:36:31.680
<v Speaker 2>you have all those things. But there are a lot

0:36:31.680 --> 0:36:34.200
<v Speaker 2>of people who are in relationships who aren't happy or

0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:35.960
<v Speaker 2>there are a lot of people who are in relationships

0:36:36.000 --> 0:36:37.880
<v Speaker 2>who as much as they love their family and as

0:36:37.960 --> 0:36:40.320
<v Speaker 2>much as they love their husband, they can't recognize themselves.

0:36:40.320 --> 0:36:43.040
<v Speaker 2>They're unhappy for other reasons. Yeah, and this is just

0:36:43.160 --> 0:36:46.520
<v Speaker 2>you're just really driven home my first point, single people,

0:36:46.600 --> 0:36:50.719
<v Speaker 2>you have the time and luxury, so use it wisely

0:36:50.840 --> 0:36:53.600
<v Speaker 2>and take and take advantage of that. You need to

0:36:53.640 --> 0:36:57.360
<v Speaker 2>tell yourself every day today, I can do whatever I

0:36:57.400 --> 0:37:00.359
<v Speaker 2>want today, I can be whoever I want today, get

0:37:00.400 --> 0:37:01.680
<v Speaker 2>anything done.

0:37:01.800 --> 0:37:04.359
<v Speaker 1>And I think that's really really important thing. And I'm

0:37:04.440 --> 0:37:06.959
<v Speaker 1>really good with that. I feel if anyone that knows

0:37:07.000 --> 0:37:10.520
<v Speaker 1>me knows I feel my days. From six am till midnight,

0:37:10.600 --> 0:37:13.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm like NonStop, I'm doing a thousand things. I'm trying.

0:37:13.280 --> 0:37:16.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm always thinking up new ideas, and I'm really I

0:37:16.440 --> 0:37:20.359
<v Speaker 1>often think to myself, do I always want to start

0:37:20.360 --> 0:37:22.320
<v Speaker 1>these new businesses? And do I always want to climb

0:37:22.320 --> 0:37:25.640
<v Speaker 1>these mountains and do these holidays and work so much

0:37:25.760 --> 0:37:27.960
<v Speaker 1>because I don't have a partner, And I actually think

0:37:28.000 --> 0:37:29.960
<v Speaker 1>I do. I think it's because I'm like, Okay, I

0:37:30.040 --> 0:37:31.799
<v Speaker 1>have the time, so why wouldn't I just feel it?

0:37:31.800 --> 0:37:33.160
<v Speaker 1>Why wouldn't I utilize it? Now?

0:37:33.280 --> 0:37:35.360
<v Speaker 2>I do think that so much personal growth and development

0:37:35.400 --> 0:37:37.399
<v Speaker 2>comes when you are single, because that is a time

0:37:37.400 --> 0:37:40.360
<v Speaker 2>when you're able to work on yourself and for yourself,

0:37:40.719 --> 0:37:43.239
<v Speaker 2>and you actually really get to understand who you are

0:37:43.280 --> 0:37:45.959
<v Speaker 2>as a person and what you want in a relationship.

0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:48.480
<v Speaker 2>So I think it's very hard, especially for people who

0:37:48.560 --> 0:37:50.360
<v Speaker 2>jump from one relationship to another relationship.

0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:51.400
<v Speaker 1>They'd never stay single.

0:37:51.760 --> 0:37:54.520
<v Speaker 2>There's no self development that happens there because you didn't

0:37:54.520 --> 0:37:55.279
<v Speaker 2>really sit with.

0:37:55.239 --> 0:37:55.680
<v Speaker 1>Who you are.

0:37:55.719 --> 0:37:57.440
<v Speaker 2>You haven't really taken the time to figure out what

0:37:57.480 --> 0:38:00.799
<v Speaker 2>you want in a relationship, Whereas when you're single, there's

0:38:00.840 --> 0:38:03.560
<v Speaker 2>so much time to really understand who you are and

0:38:03.600 --> 0:38:04.960
<v Speaker 2>what you want. One of the things that I think

0:38:05.040 --> 0:38:07.040
<v Speaker 2>is like really important and something that I know when

0:38:07.040 --> 0:38:10.400
<v Speaker 2>I was single, it was what filled my life with meaning,

0:38:11.040 --> 0:38:13.319
<v Speaker 2>is this idea that you really need to invest in

0:38:13.360 --> 0:38:17.080
<v Speaker 2>your friendships. Where As people were hardwired to want connection,

0:38:17.640 --> 0:38:21.160
<v Speaker 2>and so if you're lacking in having a romantic connection,

0:38:21.400 --> 0:38:23.759
<v Speaker 2>then really investing in your friends who are around you

0:38:23.800 --> 0:38:26.279
<v Speaker 2>and the people who love you can really fill that

0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:28.680
<v Speaker 2>hole and fill that void. And being that you know

0:38:28.719 --> 0:38:30.239
<v Speaker 2>you have people to go out for dinner with, you

0:38:30.280 --> 0:38:33.000
<v Speaker 2>have people to call when something goes wrong and having

0:38:33.440 --> 0:38:38.040
<v Speaker 2>really strong friendships is the savior for being single, I

0:38:38.080 --> 0:38:41.040
<v Speaker 2>do think, and that's where a lot of happiness comes from.

0:38:41.080 --> 0:38:44.600
<v Speaker 2>And I also believe strongly that that should be any

0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:48.480
<v Speaker 2>age of life twenties, thirties, forties, fifties. I think it's

0:38:48.480 --> 0:38:51.120
<v Speaker 2>really important to never ever neglect friendships completely.

0:38:51.360 --> 0:38:53.439
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people do get sucked into that hole

0:38:53.440 --> 0:38:56.319
<v Speaker 1>where they're in this all consuming relationship there and love

0:38:56.440 --> 0:38:58.080
<v Speaker 1>and like all they want to spend every second with

0:38:58.120 --> 0:39:00.480
<v Speaker 1>them when they start to ignore their friends. And I

0:39:00.560 --> 0:39:02.560
<v Speaker 1>really think it's important that you do have a group

0:39:02.600 --> 0:39:04.840
<v Speaker 1>of people that you can always go to. I have

0:39:04.920 --> 0:39:07.360
<v Speaker 1>friends that have friends that they're not my friends, but

0:39:07.400 --> 0:39:09.839
<v Speaker 1>they'll say to me things like haven't heard from our

0:39:09.840 --> 0:39:11.480
<v Speaker 1>own three years. All of a sudden, she's broken up

0:39:11.480 --> 0:39:12.840
<v Speaker 1>and she wants to be my best friend kind of thing.

0:39:12.880 --> 0:39:15.600
<v Speaker 1>And she's like, and they're all still friendly. They're friendly,

0:39:15.680 --> 0:39:18.200
<v Speaker 1>but there's this like bitterness to be like, well, does

0:39:18.239 --> 0:39:20.239
<v Speaker 1>she actually really want to be my friend? Like she

0:39:20.239 --> 0:39:22.080
<v Speaker 1>wasn't there when I needed her and now it's just

0:39:22.080 --> 0:39:23.719
<v Speaker 1>suiting her. So I think it's really important to not

0:39:23.800 --> 0:39:24.960
<v Speaker 1>neglect that part of your life.

0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:27.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I guess it makes sense though, that there's

0:39:27.040 --> 0:39:29.399
<v Speaker 2>this resentfulness when you get ditched as soon as your

0:39:29.440 --> 0:39:32.759
<v Speaker 2>friend finds a partner, like that's you know. And the

0:39:32.800 --> 0:39:35.280
<v Speaker 2>reality is is, like Brittan, I were talking about this earlier,

0:39:35.320 --> 0:39:38.440
<v Speaker 2>but it's an unfair expectation to have on your romantic partner,

0:39:38.440 --> 0:39:40.719
<v Speaker 2>that your partner is going to be everything for you,

0:39:41.040 --> 0:39:44.799
<v Speaker 2>Like they can't be your soulmate, your best friend, the comedian,

0:39:45.239 --> 0:39:47.240
<v Speaker 2>the person that you go out with to vent about

0:39:47.320 --> 0:39:49.440
<v Speaker 2>the dramas in your life, because sometimes they're going to

0:39:49.440 --> 0:39:51.279
<v Speaker 2>be the dramas in your life. Like you need to

0:39:51.320 --> 0:39:53.359
<v Speaker 2>have other people in your life that satisfy a whole

0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:55.719
<v Speaker 2>variety of different things. And that's why friendships are so

0:39:55.760 --> 0:40:00.120
<v Speaker 2>important to maintain through relationships because it just puts it's

0:40:00.200 --> 0:40:03.719
<v Speaker 2>this unrealistic expectation that one person can be your sole

0:40:03.760 --> 0:40:06.440
<v Speaker 2>provider of every single source of happiness in your life.

0:40:06.800 --> 0:40:10.920
<v Speaker 1>Next point, how bloody quick, efficient and easy dating in

0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:13.600
<v Speaker 1>your thirties is because you know what you want, so

0:40:13.800 --> 0:40:15.640
<v Speaker 1>you just call it straight away. You go on dates,

0:40:15.680 --> 0:40:17.960
<v Speaker 1>you can have fun, it's easy, but you don't have

0:40:18.000 --> 0:40:21.120
<v Speaker 1>to worry about oh, how do I say no to him?

0:40:21.160 --> 0:40:22.680
<v Speaker 1>How do I cancel that date? Oh? I don't want

0:40:22.680 --> 0:40:24.200
<v Speaker 1>to see him again. Oh is he going to go

0:40:24.239 --> 0:40:26.280
<v Speaker 1>to me? That shit doesn't really happen in your thirties

0:40:26.280 --> 0:40:29.160
<v Speaker 1>because people are more confident and honest and open. And

0:40:29.280 --> 0:40:31.560
<v Speaker 1>I know it because I'm like this dating now. And

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:33.320
<v Speaker 1>I think I even said last week on the podcast,

0:40:33.320 --> 0:40:35.239
<v Speaker 1>you know how, I said, I was really honest with

0:40:35.280 --> 0:40:37.160
<v Speaker 1>that guy. I was like, hey, didn't feel anything with you?

0:40:37.800 --> 0:40:40.080
<v Speaker 1>Straight up. I think I wouldn't have said that a

0:40:40.080 --> 0:40:41.600
<v Speaker 1>few years ago in my twenties. I just wouldn't have

0:40:41.640 --> 0:40:43.400
<v Speaker 1>done it. I would have been uncomfortable, wouldn't want to

0:40:43.400 --> 0:40:46.520
<v Speaker 1>hohose feelings, don't want any confrontation. I probably would have

0:40:46.520 --> 0:40:48.920
<v Speaker 1>just like freaked out and not said anything. But now

0:40:49.560 --> 0:40:53.520
<v Speaker 1>in your thirties, and it's the same. Usually Usually men

0:40:53.560 --> 0:40:55.920
<v Speaker 1>are equally as good at reciprocating that as saying, like,

0:40:56.360 --> 0:40:58.719
<v Speaker 1>to be honest, I don't feel anything. And I love that.

0:40:58.800 --> 0:41:01.600
<v Speaker 1>I love the ease of no where you stand in

0:41:01.640 --> 0:41:02.240
<v Speaker 1>your thirties.

0:41:02.320 --> 0:41:04.120
<v Speaker 2>Well, I also think there's a lot more respect that

0:41:04.160 --> 0:41:06.080
<v Speaker 2>comes not with everyone. Like there's still a hell of

0:41:06.120 --> 0:41:08.120
<v Speaker 2>a lot of f boys around and f girls.

0:41:07.800 --> 0:41:11.359
<v Speaker 1>Hate to dickhead, so I see them all time.

0:41:11.480 --> 0:41:13.719
<v Speaker 2>But I do think that there is a greater level

0:41:13.719 --> 0:41:15.560
<v Speaker 2>of respect. Like when you're in your early twenties, dating

0:41:15.640 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 2>is like musical chairs, like you a round about, swinging doors, rotation,

0:41:19.200 --> 0:41:22.120
<v Speaker 2>like there is ample amount of people to date. When

0:41:22.120 --> 0:41:24.200
<v Speaker 2>you're in your thirties, the pool of people to date

0:41:24.280 --> 0:41:27.040
<v Speaker 2>does decline, and like you have to be a little

0:41:27.040 --> 0:41:31.520
<v Speaker 2>bit more considered, respectful, thoughtful, And I really like for

0:41:31.520 --> 0:41:33.319
<v Speaker 2>people who are wanting to get into a relationship, I

0:41:33.360 --> 0:41:37.319
<v Speaker 2>really like this idea of like intentional dating, where like

0:41:37.920 --> 0:41:40.040
<v Speaker 2>you treat dating in the same way that you would

0:41:40.040 --> 0:41:42.719
<v Speaker 2>treat That makes it sound so clinical, but like you

0:41:42.960 --> 0:41:45.719
<v Speaker 2>you're intentional with your job, you're intentional with your friends,

0:41:46.160 --> 0:41:48.279
<v Speaker 2>be intentional with your dating as well, in that you

0:41:48.280 --> 0:41:51.120
<v Speaker 2>know you don't waste your time with people who don't

0:41:51.120 --> 0:41:53.080
<v Speaker 2>make you feel happy. You don't like settle for someone

0:41:53.120 --> 0:41:55.960
<v Speaker 2>who don't date down just because you feel lonely, Because

0:41:55.960 --> 0:41:59.640
<v Speaker 2>while you're wasting time with someone who is feeling a

0:41:59.680 --> 0:42:03.680
<v Speaker 2>lonely but isn't the guy, then you're stopping yourself from

0:42:03.719 --> 0:42:06.000
<v Speaker 2>either one enjoying time with people who love you, or

0:42:06.000 --> 0:42:08.439
<v Speaker 2>two being able to find somebody else who's way better

0:42:08.440 --> 0:42:10.600
<v Speaker 2>suited to you and could actually be a life partner

0:42:11.280 --> 0:42:13.120
<v Speaker 2>or a partner for whatever length of time, because nothing's

0:42:13.120 --> 0:42:13.600
<v Speaker 2>a guarantee.

0:42:13.640 --> 0:42:18.200
<v Speaker 1>These games nice guarantee. Very easy to feel this, like

0:42:18.520 --> 0:42:21.160
<v Speaker 1>this weight on your shoulders when you have been dating

0:42:21.160 --> 0:42:24.839
<v Speaker 1>a long time. Hello me and I have been through

0:42:24.840 --> 0:42:30.000
<v Speaker 1>this process. It's very easy to be overwhelmed, to be disinterested,

0:42:30.320 --> 0:42:33.480
<v Speaker 1>to be weighed down, especially when it's date after date

0:42:33.520 --> 0:42:35.919
<v Speaker 1>after date that hasn't gone well. It's easy to throw

0:42:35.960 --> 0:42:37.120
<v Speaker 1>in the towel and be like, I don't want to

0:42:37.160 --> 0:42:38.719
<v Speaker 1>do it anymore. I don't have the energy to do

0:42:38.760 --> 0:42:40.960
<v Speaker 1>it anymore. I can't be bothered. I'm sick of telling

0:42:41.000 --> 0:42:44.760
<v Speaker 1>my story. I can't tell you how sick of telling

0:42:44.800 --> 0:42:47.200
<v Speaker 1>my story. I am think of nine years worth of

0:42:47.239 --> 0:42:50.520
<v Speaker 1>being like, my name's Brittany. This is my job. I

0:42:50.640 --> 0:42:52.840
<v Speaker 1>go traveling and do this. Oh yep, that was me.

0:42:52.920 --> 0:42:55.359
<v Speaker 1>I got dumped. Yep, that was me again, got dumped again.

0:42:55.600 --> 0:42:58.279
<v Speaker 1>You know what I think would be bloody brilliant if

0:42:58.280 --> 0:42:59.920
<v Speaker 1>we could all get to a point where we just

0:43:00.239 --> 0:43:03.720
<v Speaker 1>make a PowerPoint presentation on ourselves on the basic bumble

0:43:03.760 --> 0:43:06.920
<v Speaker 1>and no proper one, proper one. You send it to them.

0:43:06.960 --> 0:43:08.360
<v Speaker 1>Everyone looks at it, and if they want to go

0:43:08.400 --> 0:43:10.520
<v Speaker 1>on the date with you, you go and it's like going

0:43:10.560 --> 0:43:12.560
<v Speaker 1>straight to a second date. It's like you bypass the

0:43:12.600 --> 0:43:15.040
<v Speaker 1>shit on the first day. But what I'm getting at

0:43:15.160 --> 0:43:17.080
<v Speaker 1>is I have been there. I have thrown in a

0:43:17.120 --> 0:43:18.719
<v Speaker 1>towel for weeks or months on end, and I've been like,

0:43:18.800 --> 0:43:21.719
<v Speaker 1>don't have energy. But it's really important that you don't

0:43:21.760 --> 0:43:23.560
<v Speaker 1>give up on dating because it's not going to come

0:43:23.640 --> 0:43:27.680
<v Speaker 1>into your apartment, onto the lounge, push the ice cream

0:43:27.680 --> 0:43:29.920
<v Speaker 1>out of your lap, and literally fall int your lap.

0:43:29.960 --> 0:43:32.640
<v Speaker 1>It's not gonna happen. You need to be proactive and

0:43:33.000 --> 0:43:34.759
<v Speaker 1>you need to look at it like it's fun. You

0:43:34.760 --> 0:43:36.720
<v Speaker 1>can have so much fun. You get to meet new people,

0:43:37.000 --> 0:43:38.719
<v Speaker 1>you get to go to new restaurants, you get to

0:43:38.760 --> 0:43:41.480
<v Speaker 1>go to new bus you might even make friends.

0:43:41.840 --> 0:43:44.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm just thinking now that someone out there needs to

0:43:44.080 --> 0:43:46.200
<v Speaker 2>start like Uber for dating, where you just like call

0:43:46.239 --> 0:43:48.600
<v Speaker 2>someone a rotation they get dropped to your apartment. Maybe

0:43:48.600 --> 0:43:51.880
<v Speaker 2>that is just Tinder with Uber attached to it. I

0:43:51.880 --> 0:43:53.440
<v Speaker 2>think it's just Saturday night in the cross.

0:43:53.200 --> 0:43:53.719
<v Speaker 1>Isn't it sad?

0:43:54.920 --> 0:43:57.640
<v Speaker 2>I think it's very normal to get dating burnout, Like

0:43:57.680 --> 0:44:00.880
<v Speaker 2>it's okay to go through these periods where you are exhausted.

0:44:00.920 --> 0:44:03.400
<v Speaker 2>By the dating game then, and I think it's normal

0:44:03.440 --> 0:44:05.560
<v Speaker 2>that people then delete all their apps and delete all

0:44:05.600 --> 0:44:07.200
<v Speaker 2>their dating apps, and then a couple of weeks later

0:44:07.200 --> 0:44:08.400
<v Speaker 2>they're like, Okay, I'm back on I'm going to do

0:44:08.440 --> 0:44:10.480
<v Speaker 2>it again. Don't be hard on yourself if you go

0:44:10.560 --> 0:44:13.080
<v Speaker 2>through dating burnout, because I think it's a very normal

0:44:13.239 --> 0:44:15.799
<v Speaker 2>process because it is exhausting you. No one wants to

0:44:15.800 --> 0:44:18.760
<v Speaker 2>say their story ten or twenty or thirty or indefinite

0:44:18.760 --> 0:44:21.239
<v Speaker 2>amounts of time. But something else that I think is

0:44:21.280 --> 0:44:26.080
<v Speaker 2>really important is that and I've spoken about it before briefly,

0:44:26.120 --> 0:44:27.359
<v Speaker 2>but I kind of want to touch on it again.

0:44:27.480 --> 0:44:30.319
<v Speaker 2>Is this idea that, like, especially as women, that we

0:44:30.400 --> 0:44:32.520
<v Speaker 2>need to be proactive in choosing the type of men

0:44:32.560 --> 0:44:34.400
<v Speaker 2>that we want to bring into our lives and choosing

0:44:34.440 --> 0:44:36.719
<v Speaker 2>the type of partners that are suitable for you, not

0:44:36.800 --> 0:44:40.400
<v Speaker 2>just sitting back and being reactive to whatever walks in

0:44:40.400 --> 0:44:42.839
<v Speaker 2>the door or whoever chooses you. Because if you're only

0:44:42.920 --> 0:44:46.760
<v Speaker 2>able to pick a partner from the people who physically

0:44:46.760 --> 0:44:49.480
<v Speaker 2>have chosen you, then your pool is so limited and

0:44:49.480 --> 0:44:51.000
<v Speaker 2>there's a good chance that you're end up going to

0:44:51.000 --> 0:44:54.080
<v Speaker 2>settle for someone who's not right for you. And what

0:44:54.080 --> 0:44:56.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean by this is like, be the first person

0:44:56.719 --> 0:44:59.000
<v Speaker 2>to make a move, be the person to flirt when

0:44:59.040 --> 0:45:01.799
<v Speaker 2>you go out, really proactive and show people that you're

0:45:01.840 --> 0:45:05.239
<v Speaker 2>interested if you are interested, because that will open up

0:45:05.320 --> 0:45:07.200
<v Speaker 2>your potential for meeting new people.

0:45:07.400 --> 0:45:09.239
<v Speaker 1>Mister right, it is maybe a little bit lost and

0:45:09.320 --> 0:45:11.640
<v Speaker 1>needs a bit of help. Mate, Fuck he's cares and

0:45:11.760 --> 0:45:13.960
<v Speaker 1>got his passport. God knows where he is. That also

0:45:14.080 --> 0:45:17.279
<v Speaker 1>comes with I think in your thirties again, you get

0:45:17.320 --> 0:45:19.960
<v Speaker 1>more confidence and you don't care as much. Well, I

0:45:20.000 --> 0:45:22.200
<v Speaker 1>don't care as much if someone doesn't like me back,

0:45:22.280 --> 0:45:24.239
<v Speaker 1>or if I hit on someone and it doesn't go well,

0:45:24.680 --> 0:45:27.239
<v Speaker 1>I laugh, I laugh at and I genuinely laugh it off.

0:45:27.280 --> 0:45:29.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh that was funny, Like He'm like, guy, whatever.

0:45:29.760 --> 0:45:31.600
<v Speaker 1>It comes with being confident in your thirties and not

0:45:31.640 --> 0:45:34.319
<v Speaker 1>caring as much what other people think. So I one

0:45:34.360 --> 0:45:36.239
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent agree. I think go out and get them.

0:45:36.239 --> 0:45:38.200
<v Speaker 1>If there's someone you're interested in right now, if there's

0:45:38.200 --> 0:45:41.080
<v Speaker 1>someone you've been thinking about messaging right now, I want

0:45:41.080 --> 0:45:43.600
<v Speaker 1>you to message them. What do you think has changed?

0:45:43.640 --> 0:45:45.960
<v Speaker 2>So like your perception when we started this podcast, and

0:45:46.000 --> 0:45:48.239
<v Speaker 2>I know like for the majority of the time, you

0:45:48.520 --> 0:45:51.560
<v Speaker 2>very much like I'm a batter, single bitch, and.

0:45:51.520 --> 0:45:52.320
<v Speaker 1>I love my life.

0:45:52.440 --> 0:45:54.920
<v Speaker 2>But then there are periods where you're you feel vulnerable

0:45:54.960 --> 0:45:56.840
<v Speaker 2>and you go through periods where you're like, actually, you

0:45:56.840 --> 0:45:58.480
<v Speaker 2>know what, I really want someone there. And I think

0:45:58.480 --> 0:46:01.240
<v Speaker 2>that both of those things are very norm to experience

0:46:01.239 --> 0:46:03.239
<v Speaker 2>and to feel. But what has kind of shifted in

0:46:03.280 --> 0:46:07.240
<v Speaker 2>your perception recently where you're very happily single, but ready

0:46:07.280 --> 0:46:09.720
<v Speaker 2>to open your life up if the right person comes along,

0:46:09.760 --> 0:46:12.239
<v Speaker 2>but not desperate to find someone to fill a hole.

0:46:13.160 --> 0:46:17.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's an interesting question. I definitely still am. I

0:46:17.040 --> 0:46:19.440
<v Speaker 1>always have been, and I still am. I like to

0:46:19.440 --> 0:46:22.840
<v Speaker 1>think bad ass, independent woman. I'm so okay on my own.

0:46:23.320 --> 0:46:26.879
<v Speaker 1>I think what it is now is you cannot avoid

0:46:27.320 --> 0:46:31.320
<v Speaker 1>feelings in yourself changing as you age, and that is

0:46:31.400 --> 0:46:34.440
<v Speaker 1>because of reasons, like all of a sudden, when you're

0:46:34.440 --> 0:46:37.520
<v Speaker 1>in your twenties, maybe one, maybe one or two of

0:46:37.560 --> 0:46:41.840
<v Speaker 1>your friends got married or had a baby young, maybe,

0:46:42.080 --> 0:46:44.240
<v Speaker 1>so you're not surrounded by it as much. The older

0:46:44.280 --> 0:46:47.440
<v Speaker 1>you get and single people out there in their thirties,

0:46:47.440 --> 0:46:49.839
<v Speaker 1>now you'll be like a bloody man. All of your

0:46:49.840 --> 0:46:53.440
<v Speaker 1>friends basically now are married or engaged or having babies

0:46:53.520 --> 0:46:57.120
<v Speaker 1>or pregnant or trying or buying and building houses, and

0:46:57.160 --> 0:47:00.560
<v Speaker 1>then all of a sudden, there's this feeling of being like, Okay,

0:47:02.280 --> 0:47:07.239
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm the only one that's not progressing

0:47:07.320 --> 0:47:10.719
<v Speaker 1>in life in that way. Now, that's a strange thing

0:47:10.719 --> 0:47:12.800
<v Speaker 1>to say, because I'm progressing in life in every other way,

0:47:13.080 --> 0:47:15.719
<v Speaker 1>in my careers, in my travels, in who I am

0:47:15.960 --> 0:47:19.319
<v Speaker 1>as a person. Everything's non stop growing. But you can't help.

0:47:19.360 --> 0:47:23.120
<v Speaker 1>But when you were surrounded by it, by being like, Okay,

0:47:24.560 --> 0:47:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I wish I had someone to share my life with.

0:47:26.200 --> 0:47:28.680
<v Speaker 1>And there's been a few pivotal moments where I've really

0:47:28.760 --> 0:47:32.040
<v Speaker 1>really felt that in the last year or two. One

0:47:32.239 --> 0:47:38.319
<v Speaker 1>was starting this podcast. I remember, I remember clearly when

0:47:38.480 --> 0:47:41.480
<v Speaker 1>we debuted at number one. We released a podcast, we

0:47:41.520 --> 0:47:44.879
<v Speaker 1>went at number one, We were ecstatic, like we were

0:47:44.920 --> 0:47:49.719
<v Speaker 1>beyond excited, and I remember just crying, not of happiness.

0:47:50.000 --> 0:47:52.279
<v Speaker 1>I was so sad because all I wanted to do

0:47:52.800 --> 0:47:54.919
<v Speaker 1>was I feel sad thinking about now, like I could cry.

0:47:55.040 --> 0:47:57.080
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to go back to like I don't know,

0:47:57.120 --> 0:48:00.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm emotional right now, correctly made me cry. All I

0:48:00.480 --> 0:48:02.919
<v Speaker 1>wanted to do was like have someone to say, look

0:48:02.960 --> 0:48:05.120
<v Speaker 1>what I've done, Like look what I've worked so hard

0:48:05.120 --> 0:48:08.200
<v Speaker 1>to do and I had not one person, and I

0:48:08.239 --> 0:48:10.120
<v Speaker 1>remember being like, oh my god, I've got no one

0:48:10.160 --> 0:48:12.239
<v Speaker 1>to share the moments of my life with. I went

0:48:12.239 --> 0:48:15.719
<v Speaker 1>home to an empty house, just on my own and

0:48:15.880 --> 0:48:18.440
<v Speaker 1>was like, Okay, this is the first time I have

0:48:18.719 --> 0:48:20.720
<v Speaker 1>first time, and it was the first time I've really

0:48:20.760 --> 0:48:24.480
<v Speaker 1>been like, fuck, no one cares about me, like I

0:48:24.719 --> 0:48:26.879
<v Speaker 1>no one cares about what I've just worked so hard

0:48:26.880 --> 0:48:29.880
<v Speaker 1>to do. The second one was just like when I

0:48:29.880 --> 0:48:33.880
<v Speaker 1>had to move recently, it was fucks moving here. You

0:48:33.920 --> 0:48:35.640
<v Speaker 1>don't need a man, you just need to remove less.

0:48:35.680 --> 0:48:38.360
<v Speaker 1>It's a very different thing. I feel like I'm so

0:48:38.600 --> 0:48:40.399
<v Speaker 1>like I'm so independent and I don't like to ask

0:48:40.440 --> 0:48:42.400
<v Speaker 1>for help. But when I realized again, I was like,

0:48:42.440 --> 0:48:44.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't even have someone to help me move by

0:48:44.760 --> 0:48:46.680
<v Speaker 1>freak from the hallway into my house.

0:48:46.800 --> 0:48:49.360
<v Speaker 2>I was eight months pregnant and Matt was overseas and

0:48:49.400 --> 0:48:51.879
<v Speaker 2>I moved at house by ourself. You do not need

0:48:51.880 --> 0:48:54.719
<v Speaker 2>a man, Okay, you just need to pay someone to

0:48:54.760 --> 0:48:55.120
<v Speaker 2>help you.

0:48:55.360 --> 0:48:58.800
<v Speaker 1>It's just those moments, and they sound funny. You'll be listening.

0:48:58.840 --> 0:49:01.120
<v Speaker 1>You'd be like Britney's head case, like she couldn't move

0:49:01.160 --> 0:49:03.200
<v Speaker 1>on around. It's not that it's just the pivotal moments

0:49:03.200 --> 0:49:07.040
<v Speaker 1>when you're like writing this second, I've realized I just

0:49:07.040 --> 0:49:08.759
<v Speaker 1>didn't have anyone to call, not at all.

0:49:08.840 --> 0:49:10.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't think anyone's going to listen to this and

0:49:10.400 --> 0:49:12.600
<v Speaker 2>think that your head case. But I also think it's

0:49:12.600 --> 0:49:15.200
<v Speaker 2>so important to keep perspective in that. You know, you

0:49:15.239 --> 0:49:17.680
<v Speaker 2>see people who in relationships, and you see people who

0:49:17.760 --> 0:49:21.000
<v Speaker 2>are seemingly killing it at life, but there are so

0:49:21.120 --> 0:49:23.760
<v Speaker 2>many people who are in relationships who, like I said earlier,

0:49:23.760 --> 0:49:27.920
<v Speaker 2>who still feel isolated, who still don't have that incredibly

0:49:27.920 --> 0:49:30.719
<v Speaker 2>supportive person because they're not in the right relationships. So

0:49:31.239 --> 0:49:32.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, as much as you want to have someone

0:49:32.680 --> 0:49:35.279
<v Speaker 2>by your side, you need and you want that to

0:49:35.320 --> 0:49:37.839
<v Speaker 2>be the right person, someone who loves and supports you.

0:49:38.239 --> 0:49:40.879
<v Speaker 2>But I just feel like you have changed so much

0:49:40.880 --> 0:49:42.960
<v Speaker 2>in the last year, not just in the last year,

0:49:42.960 --> 0:49:44.759
<v Speaker 2>but also in like the last couple of months that like,

0:49:45.080 --> 0:49:47.000
<v Speaker 2>I feel like that there's been this like shift in

0:49:47.040 --> 0:49:50.880
<v Speaker 2>confidence and shift in happiness where you are. You know

0:49:50.880 --> 0:49:52.759
<v Speaker 2>if it comes and when it comes, because it will,

0:49:53.120 --> 0:49:55.759
<v Speaker 2>like that's great, but right now you're really enjoying life,

0:49:55.800 --> 0:49:58.759
<v Speaker 2>and it's been awesome to watch that change. Happen as well.

0:49:59.080 --> 0:50:03.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I do, and I I genuinely love being single.

0:50:03.920 --> 0:50:06.400
<v Speaker 1>I actually really love it. And we'll get into some

0:50:06.440 --> 0:50:08.920
<v Speaker 1>more things. Why you know the moment that it can

0:50:08.920 --> 0:50:12.000
<v Speaker 1>be hard in a minute. But I love meeting new people.

0:50:12.120 --> 0:50:14.400
<v Speaker 1>I love going on dates. I love having an empty

0:50:14.400 --> 0:50:16.000
<v Speaker 1>house for me to do what I want. I love

0:50:16.080 --> 0:50:20.879
<v Speaker 1>not having responsibility like another human's responsibility. And I think

0:50:20.960 --> 0:50:24.000
<v Speaker 1>one of the greatest things for me that being single

0:50:24.000 --> 0:50:26.360
<v Speaker 1>has taught me, and one of the greatest things I

0:50:26.360 --> 0:50:30.759
<v Speaker 1>think anyone can take from being single is independence. Becoming

0:50:30.880 --> 0:50:33.960
<v Speaker 1>an independent person is so pivotal in who you are

0:50:34.040 --> 0:50:35.880
<v Speaker 1>and creating a life that is going to be a

0:50:35.880 --> 0:50:39.600
<v Speaker 1>lot more smooth going for you, and you're going to

0:50:39.680 --> 0:50:41.319
<v Speaker 1>feel like you can take on the world a lot more.

0:50:41.440 --> 0:50:43.120
<v Speaker 1>I've said up before, no one's going to come and

0:50:43.480 --> 0:50:45.359
<v Speaker 1>hand you something on a platter, like I just remember

0:50:45.400 --> 0:50:46.840
<v Speaker 1>something used to go wrong in the house, like my

0:50:46.880 --> 0:50:49.399
<v Speaker 1>bloody toilet. Remember when I moved in to my house

0:50:49.400 --> 0:50:51.719
<v Speaker 1>and I had a toilet problem. To remember, Oh my god,

0:50:51.880 --> 0:50:54.319
<v Speaker 1>two days in and my toilet broke. Normally I would

0:50:54.360 --> 0:50:54.560
<v Speaker 1>have like.

0:50:54.760 --> 0:50:57.040
<v Speaker 2>Like, that's the dad's first time me to try and help,

0:50:57.040 --> 0:50:58.920
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, girlfriend, you're not the wrong person

0:50:59.040 --> 0:50:59.399
<v Speaker 2>right now.

0:51:00.080 --> 0:51:02.080
<v Speaker 1>She had a one arm down and Dunny I was like,

0:51:03.280 --> 0:51:05.200
<v Speaker 1>I think you should FaceTime somebody else. Well, it just

0:51:05.200 --> 0:51:07.479
<v Speaker 1>made me really think that normally i'd be like dad,

0:51:07.680 --> 0:51:10.040
<v Speaker 1>the toilet or your boyfriend or your partner. I feel

0:51:10.040 --> 0:51:12.440
<v Speaker 1>like that's straightway, and it shouldn't be but straight away

0:51:12.480 --> 0:51:14.719
<v Speaker 1>like the husband's job or the man's job. But I

0:51:14.760 --> 0:51:16.480
<v Speaker 1>remember sitting there being like, well, if I want to

0:51:16.560 --> 0:51:18.200
<v Speaker 1>use the toilet, I'm gonna have to go and fix

0:51:18.239 --> 0:51:19.920
<v Speaker 1>it now. Because I was in my head, I was like,

0:51:19.920 --> 0:51:22.799
<v Speaker 1>what are my options? Fix the toilet or I run

0:51:22.840 --> 0:51:27.000
<v Speaker 1>across to Bonda Beach public toilet. I was like, that's

0:51:27.040 --> 0:51:29.239
<v Speaker 1>not gonna happen. So I think it's really important that

0:51:30.480 --> 0:51:33.960
<v Speaker 1>you learn to be so capable and so in control

0:51:34.040 --> 0:51:35.319
<v Speaker 1>of your own life. And I think it's a really

0:51:35.320 --> 0:51:36.680
<v Speaker 1>really beautiful quality to have.

0:51:36.920 --> 0:51:38.160
<v Speaker 2>I just have one more thing that I want to

0:51:38.160 --> 0:51:39.920
<v Speaker 2>add to this, which kind of like ties into the

0:51:40.000 --> 0:51:42.840
<v Speaker 2>very beginning of this episode, which is like around the

0:51:42.840 --> 0:51:46.120
<v Speaker 2>stigma that's associated with like being single. And I think

0:51:46.200 --> 0:51:48.319
<v Speaker 2>anybody who is the single girlfriend and a group of

0:51:48.320 --> 0:51:51.719
<v Speaker 2>friends who has they're all partners, and that used to

0:51:51.760 --> 0:51:53.640
<v Speaker 2>be me. So I used to be the one with

0:51:53.640 --> 0:51:56.040
<v Speaker 2>the crazy dating stories. Now it to you pretty but like,

0:51:56.800 --> 0:51:59.720
<v Speaker 2>I remember what it's like to be the one where

0:51:59.719 --> 0:52:03.120
<v Speaker 2>all your couple friends expect you to entertain them, Like

0:52:03.200 --> 0:52:05.080
<v Speaker 2>you feel like a bit of the clown because you're

0:52:05.480 --> 0:52:06.960
<v Speaker 2>you come to dinner and they're like, tell me your

0:52:07.040 --> 0:52:09.279
<v Speaker 2>dating stories, tell me what crazy shit's happening in your

0:52:09.320 --> 0:52:09.759
<v Speaker 2>life now.

0:52:09.760 --> 0:52:11.600
<v Speaker 1>And that's literally me on this podcast.

0:52:11.680 --> 0:52:15.360
<v Speaker 2>That's your job exactly. That is also what adds to

0:52:15.360 --> 0:52:17.319
<v Speaker 2>the stigma around it. That's also what adds to the

0:52:17.320 --> 0:52:20.040
<v Speaker 2>fact that, like, your life is a bit crazy and

0:52:20.080 --> 0:52:23.279
<v Speaker 2>everyone's life is normal and boring, And as much as

0:52:23.280 --> 0:52:25.359
<v Speaker 2>the stories are interesting and great and I fucking love them,

0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:27.520
<v Speaker 2>never stop giving them to us because I need them.

0:52:28.000 --> 0:52:28.719
<v Speaker 1>But I get it.

0:52:28.760 --> 0:52:30.400
<v Speaker 2>I get that there is this feeling of being like

0:52:30.440 --> 0:52:33.880
<v Speaker 2>a performing monkey, and that there are times in relationships

0:52:33.920 --> 0:52:36.640
<v Speaker 2>where actually it didn't work out. You're probably a little

0:52:36.680 --> 0:52:38.760
<v Speaker 2>bit sad about it, and humor is a coping mechanism

0:52:38.800 --> 0:52:41.440
<v Speaker 2>and you make a joke, but at the very bottom

0:52:41.480 --> 0:52:44.239
<v Speaker 2>of that joke, there's this feeling of like, here we

0:52:44.280 --> 0:52:46.920
<v Speaker 2>go again, Let's make a joke about it, because it

0:52:46.920 --> 0:52:48.800
<v Speaker 2>makes it easier to cope with. It makes it easier

0:52:48.840 --> 0:52:52.440
<v Speaker 2>to process. I mean, I never minded telling these stories

0:52:52.480 --> 0:52:54.520
<v Speaker 2>because I think for even me, it was a coping mechanism.

0:52:54.520 --> 0:52:57.560
<v Speaker 2>But I really used to be the ridiculous friend in

0:52:57.560 --> 0:53:00.800
<v Speaker 2>the friendship group that had all these crazy, crazy stories

0:53:00.880 --> 0:53:03.840
<v Speaker 2>about my shit dating life and how terribly I was

0:53:03.840 --> 0:53:07.960
<v Speaker 2>a relationships and I think playing into that narrative constantly

0:53:08.000 --> 0:53:12.080
<v Speaker 2>and being that performing monkey isn't necessarily good for your

0:53:12.080 --> 0:53:13.400
<v Speaker 2>self esteem in the long term.

0:53:13.480 --> 0:53:16.319
<v Speaker 1>I agree, and I totally get that. I definitely have

0:53:16.360 --> 0:53:18.800
<v Speaker 1>you said it before, I use humor as a coping mechanism,

0:53:18.840 --> 0:53:21.479
<v Speaker 1>but I actually love telling you guys my stories. They're

0:53:21.520 --> 0:53:22.240
<v Speaker 1>so messed.

0:53:22.080 --> 0:53:24.880
<v Speaker 2>Up and we actually love them. Please never stop. I like,

0:53:24.920 --> 0:53:26.400
<v Speaker 2>I know that you want to find love, but as

0:53:26.480 --> 0:53:28.440
<v Speaker 2>much as you want to find love, I don't know

0:53:28.440 --> 0:53:30.799
<v Speaker 2>if I'll cope with you coming to this podcast and

0:53:30.840 --> 0:53:31.680
<v Speaker 2>talking about the shit I talk.

0:53:31.800 --> 0:53:34.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't think anyone's gonna cote from what everyone's constantly

0:53:34.200 --> 0:53:36.560
<v Speaker 1>messaging me. They're like love, like I want you to

0:53:36.600 --> 0:53:38.560
<v Speaker 1>be in love, but also like low key don't like

0:53:38.560 --> 0:53:41.279
<v Speaker 1>even if a situation has made me feel sad, what

0:53:41.440 --> 0:53:44.720
<v Speaker 1>makes me feel better is turning it into a funny

0:53:44.719 --> 0:53:46.520
<v Speaker 1>story and that everyone can laugh at you and share.

0:53:46.760 --> 0:53:48.879
<v Speaker 1>I want I, yes, I want you guys to better

0:53:48.960 --> 0:53:51.680
<v Speaker 1>laugh at their ridiculousness that is my life and I

0:53:51.719 --> 0:53:53.840
<v Speaker 1>want you to be aware of how many crazy, fucked

0:53:53.880 --> 0:53:54.799
<v Speaker 1>up things are out there.

0:53:54.880 --> 0:53:56.640
<v Speaker 2>But I also think that the ridiculous of your life

0:53:56.719 --> 0:53:58.399
<v Speaker 2>is and other people aren't laughing at that, they're laughing

0:53:58.400 --> 0:54:00.799
<v Speaker 2>at the relatability of it. Like so, and that's what

0:54:00.920 --> 0:54:03.640
<v Speaker 2>I came to realize about me telling my single stories,

0:54:03.760 --> 0:54:06.719
<v Speaker 2>was like, it's it's the relatable fact that, like, we've

0:54:06.760 --> 0:54:08.959
<v Speaker 2>all lived this, we've all done it, just at different

0:54:09.000 --> 0:54:11.120
<v Speaker 2>points in our lives, and like some people settle down

0:54:11.120 --> 0:54:14.160
<v Speaker 2>earlier than others. But you know, I think another important

0:54:14.160 --> 0:54:17.040
<v Speaker 2>thing to touch on is this idea of a biological clock,

0:54:17.120 --> 0:54:19.400
<v Speaker 2>especially for women. That is why I think there is

0:54:19.480 --> 0:54:21.360
<v Speaker 2>way more pressure on women in their thirties to be

0:54:21.400 --> 0:54:26.720
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship, especially because when you go to a

0:54:26.760 --> 0:54:30.080
<v Speaker 2>pregnancy appointment when you're thirty five, after thirty five, you're

0:54:30.120 --> 0:54:32.279
<v Speaker 2>considered a geriatric pregnancy like that.

0:54:32.680 --> 0:54:35.120
<v Speaker 1>It's I've heard that term the other.

0:54:35.040 --> 0:54:37.480
<v Speaker 2>Day and I was like, that's crazy to me, Like

0:54:37.520 --> 0:54:41.839
<v Speaker 2>I didn't understand that that is the terminology that's used

0:54:41.840 --> 0:54:44.720
<v Speaker 2>around pregnancy, and so you know, you can be single

0:54:44.840 --> 0:54:46.960
<v Speaker 2>and be kicking it in all aspects of your life,

0:54:46.960 --> 0:54:49.920
<v Speaker 2>but there is a very real aspect of being single

0:54:49.920 --> 0:54:51.840
<v Speaker 2>in your thirties that I think puts a hell of

0:54:51.880 --> 0:54:53.840
<v Speaker 2>a lot of pressure on people, and that makes people

0:54:54.239 --> 0:54:57.440
<v Speaker 2>feel like they're falling behind. Obviously it's not for everyone,

0:54:57.480 --> 0:54:59.440
<v Speaker 2>but for those people who want it and who aren't

0:54:59.440 --> 0:55:01.960
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship, it is something to think about. And

0:55:02.000 --> 0:55:04.279
<v Speaker 2>so we thought for this episode as well, you know,

0:55:04.920 --> 0:55:07.160
<v Speaker 2>we've never heard anyone really talk about freezing their eggs.

0:55:07.160 --> 0:55:08.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean it's one of those things that's kind of

0:55:09.239 --> 0:55:12.560
<v Speaker 2>brandied around and you know, especially for single people if

0:55:12.600 --> 0:55:14.960
<v Speaker 2>they're not in a relationship yet, you might hear like, oh,

0:55:15.280 --> 0:55:17.759
<v Speaker 2>I'll just freeze my eggs, but what does that mean?

0:55:17.840 --> 0:55:19.719
<v Speaker 1>But what is that? What's freezing your eggs?

0:55:19.760 --> 0:55:19.840
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:55:19.880 --> 0:55:20.560
<v Speaker 1>How do you do it?

0:55:20.760 --> 0:55:22.319
<v Speaker 2>So I thought it'd be really interesting just to have

0:55:22.400 --> 0:55:24.200
<v Speaker 2>a little look into it, have a look at what

0:55:24.239 --> 0:55:26.840
<v Speaker 2>the costs are, and kind of give that information for

0:55:26.880 --> 0:55:30.440
<v Speaker 2>anybody who's interested in it, because I certainly was. Basically

0:55:30.719 --> 0:55:33.280
<v Speaker 2>in Australia, I found one clinic who had their prices

0:55:33.400 --> 0:55:36.840
<v Speaker 2>very openly up online and it's four four hundred and

0:55:36.920 --> 0:55:40.120
<v Speaker 2>ninety dollars to do the freezing of the eggs, like

0:55:40.160 --> 0:55:41.719
<v Speaker 2>to actually book it in and to have it done.

0:55:42.160 --> 0:55:44.040
<v Speaker 2>The medication that you need to take, which is like

0:55:44.040 --> 0:55:47.480
<v Speaker 2>a hormone therapy, is one thousand, five hundred dollars that

0:55:47.480 --> 0:55:49.799
<v Speaker 2>they charged that at it. You get the first six

0:55:49.840 --> 0:55:52.640
<v Speaker 2>months of storage for free two hundred and fifty dollars

0:55:52.960 --> 0:55:56.719
<v Speaker 2>or five hundred dollars per every twelve months depending on what.

0:55:57.600 --> 0:55:57.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:55:58.040 --> 0:56:00.520
<v Speaker 2>There's different obviously different options for story, so two hundred

0:56:00.520 --> 0:56:02.920
<v Speaker 2>and fifty to five hundred dollars per year after the fact,

0:56:03.160 --> 0:56:04.880
<v Speaker 2>so depending on how long you end up storing your

0:56:04.920 --> 0:56:07.759
<v Speaker 2>eggs for, it's a pretty costly thing. However, I think

0:56:07.800 --> 0:56:11.160
<v Speaker 2>it's an amazing thing that gives women the opportunity to

0:56:11.200 --> 0:56:14.520
<v Speaker 2>be able to stretch out that biological lifespan and to

0:56:14.600 --> 0:56:17.279
<v Speaker 2>feel that there's less pressure on themselves to make decisions.

0:56:17.400 --> 0:56:21.239
<v Speaker 1>I used to have this idea in my head that oh, yeah,

0:56:21.320 --> 0:56:24.520
<v Speaker 1>freezing your eggs great idea, but like twenty thousand dollars.

0:56:24.680 --> 0:56:27.560
<v Speaker 1>I used used to be this stigma that like, freezing

0:56:27.560 --> 0:56:29.960
<v Speaker 1>your eggs was super expensive and it was going to

0:56:30.000 --> 0:56:32.000
<v Speaker 1>be super hard to do, and it wasn't accessible to everyone.

0:56:32.040 --> 0:56:33.520
<v Speaker 1>But to hear that you can do it now for

0:56:33.560 --> 0:56:38.759
<v Speaker 1>four thousand, four hundred and ninety dollars means that basically

0:56:38.760 --> 0:56:40.320
<v Speaker 1>anyone can do that, because even if you don't have

0:56:40.360 --> 0:56:43.040
<v Speaker 1>five thousand dollars cash, you would have access to five

0:56:43.040 --> 0:56:45.640
<v Speaker 1>thousand dollars in a small loan, in a credit card.

0:56:45.880 --> 0:56:47.799
<v Speaker 1>So I think it's really nice for women to know

0:56:47.880 --> 0:56:51.160
<v Speaker 1>that you do have options and it's not the end

0:56:51.160 --> 0:56:53.640
<v Speaker 1>of the world if you hit thirty five and you

0:56:54.280 --> 0:56:55.600
<v Speaker 1>aren't with the person you're going to be with, or

0:56:55.600 --> 0:56:57.040
<v Speaker 1>you're not pregnant, or you don't have a baby. There

0:56:57.040 --> 0:56:59.600
<v Speaker 1>are so so many other options for you totally.

0:56:59.400 --> 0:57:01.120
<v Speaker 2>And you can have a may without being with someone

0:57:01.120 --> 0:57:02.480
<v Speaker 2>like we would live in a day and age now

0:57:02.520 --> 0:57:04.879
<v Speaker 2>where if you want a single parent, that's totally an option.

0:57:04.960 --> 0:57:07.239
<v Speaker 2>You can happily single parent, And I'm sure there are

0:57:07.239 --> 0:57:08.880
<v Speaker 2>a lot of divorce mums out there who are like

0:57:09.000 --> 0:57:11.759
<v Speaker 2>just single parent. It's uzier basically like that. It was

0:57:11.800 --> 0:57:14.400
<v Speaker 2>something I found was really interesting because I had the

0:57:14.400 --> 0:57:17.080
<v Speaker 2>same preconceived ideas that it was going to cost this

0:57:17.120 --> 0:57:19.880
<v Speaker 2>obscene amount of money that like nobody only the wealthiest

0:57:19.880 --> 0:57:21.800
<v Speaker 2>of the wealthy could afford to do it, And I

0:57:21.880 --> 0:57:24.760
<v Speaker 2>think that that gives people a bit of reassurance and

0:57:25.000 --> 0:57:27.880
<v Speaker 2>a bit of closure that there are other options out

0:57:27.880 --> 0:57:29.960
<v Speaker 2>there if that's a route that you want to pursue

0:57:30.000 --> 0:57:31.440
<v Speaker 2>as well, and that you know as much as we

0:57:31.480 --> 0:57:33.760
<v Speaker 2>do have a biological clock and something that is something

0:57:33.800 --> 0:57:36.200
<v Speaker 2>that's very real and that women need to think about.

0:57:37.120 --> 0:57:39.240
<v Speaker 2>Not every woman wants to have kids. Not every woman

0:57:39.240 --> 0:57:40.960
<v Speaker 2>wants to have kids by the time they're thirty five.

0:57:41.320 --> 0:57:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Not everyone wants to have kids by the time they're

0:57:42.880 --> 0:57:45.240
<v Speaker 2>thirty eight, thirty nine, forty, and so these there are

0:57:45.280 --> 0:57:47.640
<v Speaker 2>other options out there, and there are other life choices

0:57:47.680 --> 0:57:50.800
<v Speaker 2>out there that don't have to be defined by what

0:57:50.880 --> 0:57:52.040
<v Speaker 2>society expects of you.

0:57:52.520 --> 0:57:56.000
<v Speaker 1>I reckon if I hit thirty five and I wasn't

0:57:56.080 --> 0:57:59.600
<v Speaker 1>didn't feel like I was anywhere near having a baby

0:58:00.280 --> 0:58:02.760
<v Speaker 1>either ready to have it on my own, in a relationship,

0:58:02.840 --> 0:58:04.600
<v Speaker 1>whatever it is. I always thought that if I hit

0:58:04.600 --> 0:58:06.600
<v Speaker 1>thirty five, that's when I would freeze my eggs. It's

0:58:07.000 --> 0:58:09.480
<v Speaker 1>it's not that's not for everyone. That's just something I've

0:58:09.520 --> 0:58:13.120
<v Speaker 1>always said to myself. And it's security, it's a comfort,

0:58:13.240 --> 0:58:16.360
<v Speaker 1>it's comfort, it's knowing that you have the option, you're

0:58:16.400 --> 0:58:19.680
<v Speaker 1>giving yourself the option. Whether you ever use it doesn't matter.

0:58:19.880 --> 0:58:21.439
<v Speaker 2>Well, we're not going to go into this in full

0:58:21.480 --> 0:58:23.480
<v Speaker 2>detail now because we were just thinking. Actually we were

0:58:23.520 --> 0:58:25.240
<v Speaker 2>just like looking at each other and going like, oh,

0:58:25.320 --> 0:58:27.840
<v Speaker 2>this is the epic and there's an episode, but we're

0:58:27.880 --> 0:58:30.560
<v Speaker 2>gonna do an episode around fertility. So we'll say that

0:58:30.600 --> 0:58:32.120
<v Speaker 2>and put it in the bag for a future episode

0:58:32.160 --> 0:58:33.840
<v Speaker 2>so we can really get into it properly and all

0:58:33.840 --> 0:58:36.720
<v Speaker 2>of the ins and outs and what that entails. One

0:58:36.760 --> 0:58:38.280
<v Speaker 2>thing that I did want to add to this before

0:58:38.280 --> 0:58:40.880
<v Speaker 2>we kind of wrap up this conversation around being single

0:58:40.880 --> 0:58:43.360
<v Speaker 2>in your thirties is and it kind of flows on

0:58:43.480 --> 0:58:47.440
<v Speaker 2>from last week's episode around attachment theories. Is this idea

0:58:47.520 --> 0:58:52.440
<v Speaker 2>that you know, obviously we discussed last episode about how

0:58:52.560 --> 0:58:55.480
<v Speaker 2>your upbringing and your relationships with your parents can have

0:58:55.520 --> 0:58:57.760
<v Speaker 2>a really formative impact in the way that you attach

0:58:57.880 --> 0:59:00.760
<v Speaker 2>yourself to your romantic partner and and to the people

0:59:00.760 --> 0:59:03.040
<v Speaker 2>that you choose to be your romantic partners. And I

0:59:03.080 --> 0:59:05.760
<v Speaker 2>thought it was really interesting this whole idea of you

0:59:05.800 --> 0:59:08.080
<v Speaker 2>can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.

0:59:08.400 --> 0:59:09.919
<v Speaker 2>And I think that that's the case saying that gets

0:59:09.960 --> 0:59:12.160
<v Speaker 2>branded around a lot, and we kind of use that

0:59:12.400 --> 0:59:16.320
<v Speaker 2>when we maybe have a family that's slightly dysfunctional, or

0:59:16.400 --> 0:59:18.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, you have a bit of a complicated relationship

0:59:18.360 --> 0:59:20.640
<v Speaker 2>with your parents. You know, you can't choose your family,

0:59:20.640 --> 0:59:23.320
<v Speaker 2>but you can choose your friends. If you're in a

0:59:23.360 --> 0:59:26.960
<v Speaker 2>relationship with somebody who isn't treating you right or in

0:59:27.000 --> 0:59:30.320
<v Speaker 2>a complicated relationship, the people that you date become your

0:59:30.320 --> 0:59:32.560
<v Speaker 2>family because you might marry that.

0:59:32.480 --> 0:59:34.680
<v Speaker 1>Person, you will have kids with that person.

0:59:35.320 --> 0:59:37.480
<v Speaker 2>In reality, you do choose your family, and I think

0:59:37.480 --> 0:59:39.520
<v Speaker 2>it's really important to think about that and to choose

0:59:39.560 --> 0:59:42.360
<v Speaker 2>your family wisely, because you know that then has an

0:59:42.400 --> 0:59:44.200
<v Speaker 2>impact on the rest of your life. It has an

0:59:44.200 --> 0:59:46.320
<v Speaker 2>impact on your children and has a full impact on

0:59:46.320 --> 0:59:49.680
<v Speaker 2>your happiness. So if you're single and you're worried about

0:59:49.720 --> 0:59:52.439
<v Speaker 2>being lonely or alone, and you just feel your time

0:59:52.480 --> 0:59:55.880
<v Speaker 2>and fill that singleton with whoever comes your way, just

0:59:55.920 --> 0:59:57.360
<v Speaker 2>keep that in the back of your head, because you know,

0:59:57.400 --> 0:59:59.840
<v Speaker 2>you really do choose your family in the long run,

1:00:00.080 --> 1:00:02.680
<v Speaker 2>and you can have a really great and wonderful life

1:00:02.680 --> 1:00:04.800
<v Speaker 2>with somebody who you choose, or you can have a

1:00:04.840 --> 1:00:08.120
<v Speaker 2>really freaking miserable life with someone who doesn't treat you right.

1:00:08.240 --> 1:00:12.960
<v Speaker 1>The main message I wanted to portray here is that

1:00:14.440 --> 1:00:18.480
<v Speaker 1>being in a relationship doesn't define who you are. Being

1:00:18.600 --> 1:00:22.920
<v Speaker 1>single does not define who you are. It doesn't mean

1:00:22.920 --> 1:00:26.560
<v Speaker 1>you're a failure if you are on your own and

1:00:26.600 --> 1:00:29.360
<v Speaker 1>you're doing life on your own right now, it's so

1:00:29.440 --> 1:00:31.640
<v Speaker 1>important to remember that you are in control of your

1:00:31.640 --> 1:00:36.160
<v Speaker 1>happiness with how you perceive yourself, with how you perceive life,

1:00:36.160 --> 1:00:38.520
<v Speaker 1>with the way you're out there chasing dreams, with the

1:00:38.520 --> 1:00:41.760
<v Speaker 1>way you're living your life day to day. Stop thinking

1:00:41.760 --> 1:00:45.320
<v Speaker 1>about the future, Stop thinking about what if? What if

1:00:45.640 --> 1:00:49.560
<v Speaker 1>I never meet anyone, what if my partner leaves me?

1:00:50.280 --> 1:00:52.880
<v Speaker 1>The most important thing you can do is live your

1:00:52.920 --> 1:00:54.960
<v Speaker 1>life day to day and stop worrying about things that

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<v Speaker 1>may or may not ever happen, because that is the

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<v Speaker 1>stuff that will steal your happiness. Us.

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<v Speaker 2>She got deep, She got real deep.