WEBVTT - THERAPY THURSDAY - Answering your deep dark and burning questions 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.279 Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:26.520 I'm Cut. This is our second episode of the week. 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:30.640 This is our Ask Uncut addition where we answer your deep, 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:32.840 dunk and burning questions. 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:36.680 I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and Laura is mixed up 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:37.639 on what show she's on. 0:00:38.880 --> 0:00:41.560 You feel a little sexy today? You know what? 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:43.879 I feel a little sexy every day. Okay, I've got 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:45.760 a question. How do you feel now that we've done 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:49.120 the episode where you've added your pregnancy. You talked about 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:51.640 your harry belly and your fat vagina and your nipples. 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.200 Do you just feel like you're living your best life 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:55.440 now and there's no more secrets. 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:56.240 Well, now that you've. 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:58.720 Talked about my fat vaginay again, Yeah, I'm really embracing 0:00:58.760 --> 0:00:59.080 my best. 0:00:59.200 --> 0:00:59.400 Laugh. 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.240 Actually, I just want to say for every single pregnant 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:04.560 or woman who has a baby out there who has 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:07.200 messaged me over the last couple of days after we 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:10.160 recorded that episode and released it, I was feeling really 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:12.440 nervous and really self conscious at the fact that I 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:16.440 had spoken so candidly about the weird stuff that happens 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.360 during pregnancy. But you guys ared that freaking best and 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:21.720 everyone was so supportive and everyone had a good laugh 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.840 at my misfortune, and so actually, so many women that 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:27.600 wrote in saying thanks so much for just being honest 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:29.920 because they are heavily pregnant. They're like, I thought my 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:31.920 vagina was the only one that was getting chubby. 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:35.080 So I think that that was really nice. A lot 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:36.120 of people got some help from that. 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:38.120 Look, nobody else came forward and said that they've been 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:39.960 shaving their stomach, So I think I might be alone 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:40.400 on that one. 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:42.760 Dude, Actually, I just have a thought, why don't you 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:45.440 just wax it? That sounds horrible, Yeah, but then it's 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:47.400 a lot, it stays away from longer and it's not prickly. 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:48.280 Right. 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:50.960 I'm not gonna wax my stomach, Brittany, Okay, just keep 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:52.960 shaving it. I say it like it's sposed. You say 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:55.480 it like it's the most offensive thing. I just suggested 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:58.360 to you. Maybe I'll just start bleaching it so it 0:01:58.360 --> 0:01:59.960 can be long, luxurious, blonde. 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:01.200 Heah, you can plan it. 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:04.480 So, guys, this week is a Bachelor finale week. It 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:06.800 is finally coming to an end, and maybe because it's 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:08.920 the last episode, we get to see some love. 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:12.400 I am so excited I know that this has been 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:16.760 a really tumultuous, random season, and we've had a lot 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:17.240 to say on it. 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:18.320 We've also had a lot to say. 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:20.040 On like the editing and the way that it's kind 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.280 of come together because of the whole lockdown thing. But surely, 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:26.200 surely in the final two episodes, they're gonna stop focusing 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.760 on the cattiness, the drama, the girls, the bitching, and 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.359 there has to be some love story that prevails. Unlines, 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:33.679 no one's gonna believe it. 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.200 It was actually I mean, I thought my season was 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:38.920 bad for like prolonging the love story just between drama, 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.440 but this is next level. We're literally at the last 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:44.000 two episodes and we're still just seeing the cat fights. 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:46.640 I actually read you know how, at the end of 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:50.040 every single season, all these crazy rumors start to come 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:53.240 out about what people think happens. Have you read what 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:54.680 they've said they think happens. 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:56.919 Well, I read another rumor today which was that Channel 0:02:56.960 --> 0:03:00.760 ten had paid or signed a secret contract with Bella 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:03.720 that she would stay on the show to final two, 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:08.000 And I call absolute bullshit. I just the rumors that 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.399 come out are so ridiculous. 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.600 Well, there was one today that said that he gets, 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:17.240 he says no to Bella. He says he gets to 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:22.639 Arena and says yes. Arena then says no because the 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:25.480 yeah because like yeah, because you fucked me over too 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:29.200 many times. So she says no because she still loves Bella. 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.160 So then he goes back to Bella and asks Fella 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:34.760 for love, and she says no because you love Arena 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:36.480 as well, and I'm not second best. That's what I 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.720 read today. It's not there's no way that happens, like bullshit, 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:40.400 but I just love hearing the stories. 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:43.080 Well, we're gonna find out. We're gonna find out tonight. Guys. 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:45.480 If you've been following the Bachelor all along, then you 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:47.480 should also jump on the Facebook group because we will 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:50.560 have a Bachelor finale thread happening there where you can 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:52.760 get deep down and dirty in the comment section and 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.400 tell us your actual thoughts about the whole thing and 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:57.920 how it's unveiling. But yeah, like we've said from the beginning, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.920 Britain and I don't know what happens. I mean, we 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.200 always speculated that these that Bella and Arena were going. 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:06.320 To be the final two. But we shall see. We 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.120 think we know what happens. No, we don't know what happens. 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.440 We have our ideas on what we think, like every 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.600 other person, but it doesn't come from anywhere. But we're 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:16.480 not even gonna tell you anyway, because it'll just got 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:17.680 all this fucking go y. 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:19.360 I'll just end up in telling you now and I'll 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:21.920 be like, because they have insight that aside, Britt, what's 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:22.440 been happening? 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:24.800 I saw you two days ago. Give me some new stuff. Oh, 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.200 there's so much pressure to have an active life in 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:29.279 two days to bring a story. I don't really have 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:33.560 any exciting stories. I did a yoga class today that 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:36.200 was great. Still training for my marathon. That's not great. 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:39.080 That's it. I'm boring as batshit today. I had my 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:40.560 twenty week scan yesterday. 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:41.560 Well that's a big deal. 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:44.400 Yeah, apparently this kid so twenty week scan. It was 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:46.919 already bit late. We're past the twenty weeks anyway, but 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.760 apparently this kid's head is measuring two weeks bigger than 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:53.800 it should be. The ladys said it in a really 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:55.560 nice thame. She was like, yeah, your baby's got lots 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:57.640 of brains. Its head is two weeks ahead of where 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:00.000 it should be. And I was like, my vagina is 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.120 really sad. 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:03.400 Well, isn't it lucky that you have a puffy vagina 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:03.920 for patting? 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:10.719 He gave me, Oh me too far, too far, Bredie. 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:12.960 We don't have to keep talking about it. Let's just 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:15.479 get into the question. But I actually have a story 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:17.359 I want to read you from a listener today. It 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:20.359 just came in this afternoon and it is too funny 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.040 not to read. And I don't want to laugh at her, 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:26.800 but I am. We don't laugh at any of you. 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:29.000 We laugh with you, guys. And I'm going to read 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:33.320 this word for word. Laura Britt, I need to share 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:37.080 a public service announcement. I'm in Melbourne. Yesterday I went 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.440 for a run. I decided to go to the local oval. 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:45.719 I began my run, everything was gone fab and then swush, swush, swush. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.640 I'm being swooped by a magpipe. It's so close I 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:52.279 can hear it flapping. So I try to run away. 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:55.000 Of course I would run. I'm running, I'm weaving and 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.520 I'm ducking. I run off the oval and through the 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:00.599 car that just so happens to be locked by a 0:06:00.640 --> 0:06:05.080 low hanging chain. I jump the chain, except somehow I 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:06.159 forgot to actually jump. 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:10.000 Then I fell. I felt really hard. Six hours later 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:10.360 I had. 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:12.279 Left the hospital with a cast from my hand to 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:14.839 my shoulder and a broken elbow from the impact. The 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:19.200 pain is insane. Please be safe around Magpie's guys. I 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:22.000 love that you sent this as a public service announcement, 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:24.760 but also this is really sad that this has happened 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:27.560 in Melbourne. This is like enough bad things are happening 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:29.120 there right now. We don't need to add to it. 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:31.919 I'm only laughing because of the way either way she 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:33.880 wrote it, but being she sent me a photo as well, 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:36.320 and it's her looking Helen Opresso with this cast that 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.400 literally her whole arms from her head to her hand. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:39.719 And it was all because she wanted to go for 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:42.520 one run in her one hour lockdown. That is miserable. 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:45.000 If you thought you were having a bad twenty twenty guys, 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:47.279 well somebody just trumped you. 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:51.280 Don't worry. She signed off, love always a girl with 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:52.800 the bruised ego in a very sore arm. 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:54.159 I love that. Alright. 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:59.039 Let's get into the questions, all right. Question number one. 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:01.680 So I've been seeing this guy for a month or so. 0:07:01.920 --> 0:07:04.520 We both like each other, but it's not really anything 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.600 serious yet. He's in the army and he's offshore until 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:10.200 the end of November, so we have been sexting a lot, 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.800 as it's the only real way to communicate. My issue 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:19.920 is that he keeps calling my vagina his dessert. The 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:23.120 first time it was kind in context, but he literally 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:25.640 won't call it anything else. Now it doesn't really bother 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:30.200 me that much, but every time he messages saying, hey, babe, 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:31.960 can I see Can I see my dessert? 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:32.280 Now? 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.200 I get the ick? Help I'm getting the ick. 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:37.560 What kind of dessert does he think it is? That's 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:41.240 what I want to know. Au fla or a pudding. 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:43.280 I don't know how. I tried to. 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:45.640 Put myself in this position and try to think how 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:47.800 I would feel if someone was like, bring me that dessert. 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:49.000 I was like, okay, cool. 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:51.200 Maybe once I would be like, yeah, just roll playing 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:53.640 and roll with it and maybe like whipped cream whatebs. 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:56.120 But I think if it was an ongoing thing and 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:59.080 the only way he could refer to sex or my 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.720 vagina was I think I would get the ick as well. 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:05.520 I just start calling his dick a banana split. Just 0:08:05.600 --> 0:08:06.880 see how that goes down. 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.360 I don't even something. No one of those little lolly 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:11.320 tiny mini banana. 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:11.880 It's called that. 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:15.960 I can understand completely why you have the ick. It's 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:19.440 pretty icky. I think this is a pretty easy one. 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:21.720 Like I do, think you just have to hit the 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:24.760 nail on the head and say, hey, babe, please don't 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:25.960 call my vagina a dessert. 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.320 How about and maybe maybe refer to it as something else. 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:30.320 Maybe give him another word that he can refer to 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:32.040 it as, because maybe he doesn't want to use the 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:35.199 word vagina, but calling a dessert just does sound a 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.559 little bit chartish. So I'm all with you on why 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:39.720 you're getting the ick, but I really think you need 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:41.640 to put a stop to things before the ick becomes 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:44.520 so strong that you're like repulsed by the guy that 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:45.520 you want to have sex with. 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:49.000 I also completely can see why you're getting the ick. 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:52.199 It's not sexy. I think that it doesn't have to 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:54.679 be a big deal either. If this was me next, 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:57.760 I'm just thinking, next time he says it, literally, just 0:08:57.800 --> 0:09:00.800 be like, babe, look, we need to talk. This whole 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:03.640 dessert thing is not working for me. It's really doesn't 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:06.480 sound sexy. I don't feel sexy. We need to come 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:08.320 up with something else. I think just make a joke 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:08.520 of it. 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:10.760 They'll put it out there and be like, let's just 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:11.559 do some. 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:16.160 It's just some brainstorming and come up with some other adjectives. 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:19.160 That's what's the weirdest thing someone's called your vagina, Britt. 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:21.080 No one's ever named it. 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:22.959 It's like that line of how to Lose a Guy 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:25.679 in Ten Days where she keeps referring to his penises. 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:29.600 Princess Selphia, Does Princess Selphia want to. 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:30.480 Come out to play? 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:33.240 Why do we demaculate the poor guy? 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:33.559 Now? 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.280 That is how to lose a guy in ten Days. 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:36.079 I feel like. 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:38.280 I've been in this position before. A guy has called 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:40.880 my vagina a really strange thing, but I can't remember. Look, 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:44.080 I've suppressed the trauma. I'm with Britt. I think just 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:46.480 make a joke about it, let him know in a 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:49.079 lighthearted way that you don't want him to be calling 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:50.960 it that. And I think you really do need to 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:54.640 address this before you catch some serious ick. Guys, go 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:56.600 back and listen to that episode if you haven't already, 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:59.880 And Yeah, you want to enjoy sex, you want to 0:09:59.920 --> 0:10:01.199 be thinking about dessert. 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:02.840 I'm going to put a little poll up on our 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:05.160 Insta stories and I want you guys to write in 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:08.719 the weirdest, funniest best things that someone your partner or 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:11.199 a lover or one night or whoever, has written to 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:14.559 you and called your VIJJ. So I want names, and 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:18.760 I'm gonna read about next. It's it's not so I 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:20.240 know what to call mine. It's just because I want 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:21.600 to laugh and read them the suspense. 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:23.559 And also, if your partner has a really good name 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:25.719 for your vagina, maybe throw that into the ring as well, 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:28.080 so we can let this listener know, like give her 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:29.679 a bit of feedback, like one that's a. 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:32.600 Little bit sexy, but also like like a spy, like 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.480 you can have the conversation about your vagina and public 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:36.880 in front of people, Like maybe it's Sally and you're like, hey, 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.000 should we should we get home? Sally might be waiting, 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:40.680 you know, like you could make it so people don't 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:41.680 know you're having sex talk. 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.360 I thought you meant like give it a name, like 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:46.480 I don't know, pussy spy or something else. 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:50.120 What are you talking about? Anyway, let's go on to 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.959 the next question. Okay, question number two. I reckon we've 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:55.920 covered that one. I need some advice about a situation 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:58.560 that has happened recently, I was speaking to a guy 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:00.440 for around three and a half months and we went 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:02.880 on about five or so dates. I felt like he 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.680 was really interested because we messaged every day. He was 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:09.640 always keen. He was always asking me questions, but he 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:13.240 did take hours to respond sometimes, which frustrated me. About 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:15.400 a month ago, I asked him what he was looking for, 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:17.440 and he said he hadn't really thought about it, and 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:20.160 he asked what I was looking for. I wasn't really 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:22.480 keen to do casual for ages, so I just told 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:24.599 him that straight up. He said he was happy to 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:27.080 see where things were going. He messaged me the next 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:30.280 day after our date, and we continued talking every day. 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.760 I assumed this was a good sign, as if he 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:36.120 was freaked out, he wouldn't have messaged back right. Three 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.280 weeks later, I asked to see him because we hadn't 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:40.439 seen each other since. He said he was too busy. 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:43.080 A couple of days later, he didn't reply to my 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:47.480 last message, and he still hasn't since. Have I been ghosted? 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:50.600 I want to answer this already. Have I been ghosted? 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:53.560 Should I message him again? I want an explanation, but 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:55.280 I don't want to chase him. If he's not keen. 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:58.200 Oh just leave it, girl, you've been ghosted. 0:11:58.559 --> 0:11:59.400 Just leave it. 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.640 No, Like, straight up, this is the definition of ghosted. 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:06.120 He sounds like a person that has pretty weak character. 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:08.679 That's like, this is a big generalized statement. Obviously I 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.800 don't know the guy, but I'm only going off what 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:13.240 you've written in It sounds like he's someone who's very 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:16.000 conflict avoidant, and when you have brought up the conversation 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.800 of something more serious, he's gone, oh, I don't know. 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.000 I hadn't really thought about it. I don't think you 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.360 date someone for three and a half months without thinking 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.160 about it either either end of the spectrum and without 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.720 him saying, oh, I don't want something more serious. He 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:31.560 was able to say what he thought you wanted to 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:34.520 hear and then just fade away into the distance and 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.319 take zero responsibility for you being upset. He didn't have 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.040 to deal with the conflict that could arise from having 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:42.640 an honest conversation with you face to face. So I 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.720 think that he's approached this in a really really cowardly way. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:47.480 Is it an uncommon way? 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:47.840 No? 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:51.000 Loads of guys and girls do this, But I think 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:53.360 it's pretty clear cut that you've been ghosted, and I 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:55.720 think that after you know, three and a half months, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.000 But in that three and a half months, only having 0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:01.960 five physical dates, I don't think that you'll necessarily get 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.640 the sort of closure or conversation from him, even if 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.040 you reach out to him again that you deserve and 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:08.480 that you want. 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:10.720 I have been in this situation recently. 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:11.280 You know that. 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:13.600 A few weeks ago, we made the joke if you listen, 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.040 if you're a longtime listener, I was like, yeah, ive 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:16.760 seen this guy. Five days he ghosted me. 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.080 I was like, Brittany, he's got a boyfriend. 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:20.640 And then the next episode, I was like. 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:24.680 What the fuck did he go? Casper? His name was Cass. 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:26.840 We put up those missing person posters, guys, and we 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:27.760 could not find him. 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:29.760 Okay, So just to update that story, he did end 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:31.720 up messaging me like a few days later, and in 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.080 his eyes, he hadn't ghosted me. He just wanted some 0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:36.760 time with the boys. And I was like, well, that 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.080 that is not how we work and that's not how 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:41.440 a relationship progresses, and you didn't actually tell me that, 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.840 So of course I'm gonna think he goes with me anyway. 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.480 I think that that's a cheap cop out though as well. 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:48.280 Like I think, for a guy, if you've been texting 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.080 every single day and then all of a sudden, they 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.439 don't text you at all for a week, no notice, 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.160 they can call it whatever the hell they want to 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:55.960 under the sun and say, oh, I didn't realize that 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:56.720 you'd be offended. 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:58.080 They're not stupid. 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:01.640 They're avoiding conflict, taking responsibility for their actions. 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:02.840 They know it's ghosting. 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.200 Well, then he started gaslighting me. 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:08.400 He was like, you're overreacting, you're imagining this, and I 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.560 was like, hang on, I have a podcast on this, buddy. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.120 I know a red flag when I see one, pal, 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:15.360 I know exactly. 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:16.280 What you're doing. Laura told me. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:22.680 You're lighting makes this fills me with joy. Guys, no, 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:24.960 but look, it sucks to hear it. But when not 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:28.160 here to sugarcoat it, you definitely have been ghosted. I 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:30.080 don't think you're going to gain anything from reaching out 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:31.720 to him again. You've already reached out and he hasn't 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:33.320 written back to you. And the thing that you need 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.440 to realize here is you spent months with him messaging 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:38.200 you every day. You know he's capable of it. You 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:40.320 know he's got your number, you know he knows where 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.480 you live, he knows everything about you, He has access 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:47.080 to you. He has now chosen not to so in 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:50.720 this situation, it's pretty early. Still, I don't think it 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:54.480 matters why he's doing that. The fact is he's treating 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.160 you like that. He's made a decision to a he 0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:58.920 doesn't want to be with you, and B he doesn't 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.360 want to respectfully tell you that. He's taking a cheap 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:03.240 way and nasty way and a hurtful way out. And 0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:05.320 that's what you need to realize in this situation. You're 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:08.040 better than that. You deserve more than that. And even 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:09.680 if he does respond to you and tell you the 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:11.480 reason he doesn't want to be with you, that's not 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:14.040 going to make you feel better. Yeah, I totally agree. 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:15.200 What is your opinion on. 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:19.440 The part of that question where the listener had said 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:22.080 that he would sometimes take take hours to write back 0:15:22.080 --> 0:15:24.680 and that would really enjoy her, Like, how do you 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:27.120 feel about that? Because I know I've had really conflicted 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:30.000 feelings when I've been seeing or dating a guy, and 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:33.080 sometimes he's taken like a really prolonged time to write back, 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:35.120 But yet we're still in quite constant conversation. 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:38.000 I don't think you can weigh too heavily on that, 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.240 to be honest, because I know sometimes even if I 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:43.160 really like someone, sometimes I'm so caught up at work, 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:46.160 I'm like flat out that I physically cannot get back 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.360 to my phone to message until hours later all that night, 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:50.880 when I finally sit down, and I might still really 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:53.760 really like them. I don't think you can wagit too 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:57.480 heavily on that. It's a different thing. If maybe you're 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.800 seeing that he's online on WhatsApp and Instagram doing other 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:02.880 stuff and he hasn't written back to a question or 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.080 something like that, that's different. But if he's literally in 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:07.800 his nine to five finance job and you know, he 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:09.720 messages you four hours later at five point thirty when 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.320 he knocks off, I think that's okay. 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:13.600 Yeah, I totally agree. I do think that there's this 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:17.480 unrealistic expectation that people are online and in contact all 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:19.560 the time. I think that we need to have some 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:23.400 perspective that people do work, people do have busy lives, 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:26.440 so there are times when people are legitimately too busy 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:28.800 to be on text all day having like a running 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:32.200 conversation of what they're doing. The only thing that I think, 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:34.680 which you've already highlighted, but it is. If they are 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:36.840 on WhatsApp, you can see they're online, you can tell 0:16:36.840 --> 0:16:39.400 that they're talking to other people and being super socially active, 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:42.240 but they're choosing not to talk to you. I do 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:44.680 think that that's a really clear indication of where someone's 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:47.120 priority lies. And I think if those red flags are 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:50.400 displaying themselves early on in a relationship when you should 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:54.160 be a priority of conversation, then that's a big like. 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:58.200 Abort mission. Yeah, and it might just be me, Laura, 0:16:58.400 --> 0:16:59.840 I don't know how you feel about this, and might 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:02.840 be the way I look at things and my perspective. 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:05.760 But to me, if somebody doesn't want to be with me, 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:08.520