Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 1: I'm Cut. This is our second episode of the week.
Speaker 1: This is our Ask Uncut addition where we answer your deep,
Speaker 1: dunk and burning questions.
Speaker 2: I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and Laura is mixed up
Speaker 2: on what show she's on.
Speaker 3: You feel a little sexy today? You know what?
Speaker 2: I feel a little sexy every day. Okay, I've got
Speaker 2: a question. How do you feel now that we've done
Speaker 2: the episode where you've added your pregnancy. You talked about
Speaker 2: your harry belly and your fat vagina and your nipples.
Speaker 2: Do you just feel like you're living your best life
Speaker 2: now and there's no more secrets.
Speaker 3: Well, now that you've.
Speaker 1: Talked about my fat vaginay again, Yeah, I'm really embracing
Speaker 1: my best.
Speaker 3: Laugh.
Speaker 1: Actually, I just want to say for every single pregnant
Speaker 1: or woman who has a baby out there who has
Speaker 1: messaged me over the last couple of days after we
Speaker 1: recorded that episode and released it, I was feeling really
Speaker 1: nervous and really self conscious at the fact that I
Speaker 1: had spoken so candidly about the weird stuff that happens
Speaker 1: during pregnancy. But you guys ared that freaking best and
Speaker 1: everyone was so supportive and everyone had a good laugh
Speaker 1: at my misfortune, and so actually, so many women that
Speaker 1: wrote in saying thanks so much for just being honest
Speaker 1: because they are heavily pregnant. They're like, I thought my
Speaker 1: vagina was the only one that was getting chubby.
Speaker 2: So I think that that was really nice. A lot
Speaker 2: of people got some help from that.
Speaker 1: Look, nobody else came forward and said that they've been
Speaker 1: shaving their stomach, So I think I might be alone
Speaker 1: on that one.
Speaker 2: Dude, Actually, I just have a thought, why don't you
Speaker 2: just wax it? That sounds horrible, Yeah, but then it's
Speaker 2: a lot, it stays away from longer and it's not prickly.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna wax my stomach, Brittany, Okay, just keep
Speaker 2: shaving it. I say it like it's sposed. You say
Speaker 2: it like it's the most offensive thing. I just suggested
Speaker 2: to you. Maybe I'll just start bleaching it so it
Speaker 2: can be long, luxurious, blonde.
Speaker 3: Heah, you can plan it.
Speaker 2: So, guys, this week is a Bachelor finale week. It
Speaker 2: is finally coming to an end, and maybe because it's
Speaker 2: the last episode, we get to see some love.
Speaker 1: I am so excited I know that this has been
Speaker 1: a really tumultuous, random season, and we've had a lot
Speaker 1: to say on it.
Speaker 2: We've also had a lot to say.
Speaker 1: On like the editing and the way that it's kind
Speaker 1: of come together because of the whole lockdown thing. But surely,
Speaker 1: surely in the final two episodes, they're gonna stop focusing
Speaker 1: on the cattiness, the drama, the girls, the bitching, and
Speaker 1: there has to be some love story that prevails. Unlines,
Speaker 1: no one's gonna believe it.
Speaker 2: It was actually I mean, I thought my season was
Speaker 2: bad for like prolonging the love story just between drama,
Speaker 2: but this is next level. We're literally at the last
Speaker 2: two episodes and we're still just seeing the cat fights.
Speaker 2: I actually read you know how, at the end of
Speaker 2: every single season, all these crazy rumors start to come
Speaker 2: out about what people think happens. Have you read what
Speaker 2: they've said they think happens.
Speaker 1: Well, I read another rumor today which was that Channel
Speaker 1: ten had paid or signed a secret contract with Bella
Speaker 1: that she would stay on the show to final two,
Speaker 1: And I call absolute bullshit. I just the rumors that
Speaker 1: come out are so ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Well, there was one today that said that he gets,
Speaker 2: he says no to Bella. He says he gets to
Speaker 2: Arena and says yes. Arena then says no because the
Speaker 2: yeah because like yeah, because you fucked me over too
Speaker 2: many times. So she says no because she still loves Bella.
Speaker 2: So then he goes back to Bella and asks Fella
Speaker 2: for love, and she says no because you love Arena
Speaker 2: as well, and I'm not second best. That's what I
Speaker 2: read today. It's not there's no way that happens, like bullshit,
Speaker 2: but I just love hearing the stories.
Speaker 3: Well, we're gonna find out. We're gonna find out tonight. Guys.
Speaker 1: If you've been following the Bachelor all along, then you
Speaker 1: should also jump on the Facebook group because we will
Speaker 1: have a Bachelor finale thread happening there where you can
Speaker 1: get deep down and dirty in the comment section and
Speaker 1: tell us your actual thoughts about the whole thing and
Speaker 1: how it's unveiling. But yeah, like we've said from the beginning,
Speaker 1: Britain and I don't know what happens. I mean, we
Speaker 1: always speculated that these that Bella and Arena were going.
Speaker 2: To be the final two. But we shall see. We
Speaker 2: think we know what happens. No, we don't know what happens.
Speaker 2: We have our ideas on what we think, like every
Speaker 2: other person, but it doesn't come from anywhere. But we're
Speaker 2: not even gonna tell you anyway, because it'll just got
Speaker 2: all this fucking go y.
Speaker 1: I'll just end up in telling you now and I'll
Speaker 1: be like, because they have insight that aside, Britt, what's
Speaker 1: been happening?
Speaker 2: I saw you two days ago. Give me some new stuff. Oh,
Speaker 2: there's so much pressure to have an active life in
Speaker 2: two days to bring a story. I don't really have
Speaker 2: any exciting stories. I did a yoga class today that
Speaker 2: was great. Still training for my marathon. That's not great.
Speaker 2: That's it. I'm boring as batshit today. I had my
Speaker 2: twenty week scan yesterday.
Speaker 3: Well that's a big deal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, apparently this kid so twenty week scan. It was
Speaker 1: already bit late. We're past the twenty weeks anyway, but
Speaker 1: apparently this kid's head is measuring two weeks bigger than
Speaker 1: it should be. The ladys said it in a really
Speaker 1: nice thame. She was like, yeah, your baby's got lots
Speaker 1: of brains. Its head is two weeks ahead of where
Speaker 1: it should be. And I was like, my vagina is
Speaker 1: really sad.
Speaker 2: Well, isn't it lucky that you have a puffy vagina
Speaker 2: for patting?
Speaker 3: He gave me, Oh me too far, too far, Bredie.
Speaker 2: We don't have to keep talking about it. Let's just
Speaker 2: get into the question. But I actually have a story
Speaker 2: I want to read you from a listener today. It
Speaker 2: just came in this afternoon and it is too funny
Speaker 2: not to read. And I don't want to laugh at her,
Speaker 2: but I am. We don't laugh at any of you.
Speaker 2: We laugh with you, guys. And I'm going to read
Speaker 2: this word for word. Laura Britt, I need to share
Speaker 2: a public service announcement. I'm in Melbourne. Yesterday I went
Speaker 2: for a run. I decided to go to the local oval.
Speaker 2: I began my run, everything was gone fab and then swush, swush, swush.
Speaker 2: I'm being swooped by a magpipe. It's so close I
Speaker 2: can hear it flapping. So I try to run away.
Speaker 2: Of course I would run. I'm running, I'm weaving and
Speaker 2: I'm ducking. I run off the oval and through the
Speaker 2: car that just so happens to be locked by a
Speaker 2: low hanging chain. I jump the chain, except somehow I
Speaker 2: forgot to actually jump.
Speaker 3: Then I fell. I felt really hard. Six hours later
Speaker 3: I had.
Speaker 2: Left the hospital with a cast from my hand to
Speaker 2: my shoulder and a broken elbow from the impact. The
Speaker 2: pain is insane. Please be safe around Magpie's guys. I
Speaker 2: love that you sent this as a public service announcement,
Speaker 2: but also this is really sad that this has happened
Speaker 2: in Melbourne. This is like enough bad things are happening
Speaker 2: there right now. We don't need to add to it.
Speaker 2: I'm only laughing because of the way either way she
Speaker 2: wrote it, but being she sent me a photo as well,
Speaker 2: and it's her looking Helen Opresso with this cast that
Speaker 2: literally her whole arms from her head to her hand.
Speaker 2: And it was all because she wanted to go for
Speaker 2: one run in her one hour lockdown. That is miserable.
Speaker 1: If you thought you were having a bad twenty twenty guys,
Speaker 1: well somebody just trumped you.
Speaker 2: Don't worry. She signed off, love always a girl with
Speaker 2: the bruised ego in a very sore arm.
Speaker 3: I love that. Alright.
Speaker 2: Let's get into the questions, all right. Question number one.
Speaker 2: So I've been seeing this guy for a month or so.
Speaker 2: We both like each other, but it's not really anything
Speaker 2: serious yet. He's in the army and he's offshore until
Speaker 2: the end of November, so we have been sexting a lot,
Speaker 2: as it's the only real way to communicate. My issue
Speaker 2: is that he keeps calling my vagina his dessert. The
Speaker 2: first time it was kind in context, but he literally
Speaker 2: won't call it anything else. Now it doesn't really bother
Speaker 2: me that much, but every time he messages saying, hey, babe,
Speaker 2: can I see Can I see my dessert?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: I get the ick? Help I'm getting the ick.
Speaker 1: What kind of dessert does he think it is? That's
Speaker 1: what I want to know. Au fla or a pudding.
Speaker 3: I don't know how. I tried to.
Speaker 2: Put myself in this position and try to think how
Speaker 2: I would feel if someone was like, bring me that dessert.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, cool.
Speaker 2: Maybe once I would be like, yeah, just roll playing
Speaker 2: and roll with it and maybe like whipped cream whatebs.
Speaker 2: But I think if it was an ongoing thing and
Speaker 2: the only way he could refer to sex or my
Speaker 2: vagina was I think I would get the ick as well.
Speaker 1: I just start calling his dick a banana split. Just
Speaker 1: see how that goes down.
Speaker 2: I don't even something. No one of those little lolly
Speaker 2: tiny mini banana.
Speaker 3: It's called that.
Speaker 2: I can understand completely why you have the ick. It's
Speaker 2: pretty icky. I think this is a pretty easy one.
Speaker 1: Like I do, think you just have to hit the
Speaker 1: nail on the head and say, hey, babe, please don't
Speaker 1: call my vagina a dessert.
Speaker 2: How about and maybe maybe refer to it as something else.
Speaker 1: Maybe give him another word that he can refer to
Speaker 1: it as, because maybe he doesn't want to use the
Speaker 1: word vagina, but calling a dessert just does sound a
Speaker 1: little bit chartish. So I'm all with you on why
Speaker 1: you're getting the ick, but I really think you need
Speaker 1: to put a stop to things before the ick becomes
Speaker 1: so strong that you're like repulsed by the guy that
Speaker 1: you want to have sex with.
Speaker 2: I also completely can see why you're getting the ick.
Speaker 2: It's not sexy. I think that it doesn't have to
Speaker 2: be a big deal either. If this was me next,
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking, next time he says it, literally, just
Speaker 2: be like, babe, look, we need to talk. This whole
Speaker 2: dessert thing is not working for me. It's really doesn't
Speaker 2: sound sexy. I don't feel sexy. We need to come
Speaker 2: up with something else. I think just make a joke
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 3: They'll put it out there and be like, let's just
Speaker 3: do some.
Speaker 2: It's just some brainstorming and come up with some other adjectives.
Speaker 1: That's what's the weirdest thing someone's called your vagina, Britt.
Speaker 2: No one's ever named it.
Speaker 1: It's like that line of how to Lose a Guy
Speaker 1: in Ten Days where she keeps referring to his penises.
Speaker 1: Princess Selphia, Does Princess Selphia want to.
Speaker 3: Come out to play?
Speaker 2: Why do we demaculate the poor guy?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: That is how to lose a guy in ten Days.
Speaker 3: I feel like.
Speaker 1: I've been in this position before. A guy has called
Speaker 1: my vagina a really strange thing, but I can't remember. Look,
Speaker 1: I've suppressed the trauma. I'm with Britt. I think just
Speaker 1: make a joke about it, let him know in a
Speaker 1: lighthearted way that you don't want him to be calling
Speaker 1: it that. And I think you really do need to
Speaker 1: address this before you catch some serious ick. Guys, go
Speaker 1: back and listen to that episode if you haven't already,
Speaker 1: And Yeah, you want to enjoy sex, you want to
Speaker 1: be thinking about dessert.
Speaker 2: I'm going to put a little poll up on our
Speaker 2: Insta stories and I want you guys to write in
Speaker 2: the weirdest, funniest best things that someone your partner or
Speaker 2: a lover or one night or whoever, has written to
Speaker 2: you and called your VIJJ. So I want names, and
Speaker 2: I'm gonna read about next. It's it's not so I
Speaker 2: know what to call mine. It's just because I want
Speaker 2: to laugh and read them the suspense.
Speaker 1: And also, if your partner has a really good name
Speaker 1: for your vagina, maybe throw that into the ring as well,
Speaker 1: so we can let this listener know, like give her
Speaker 1: a bit of feedback, like one that's a.
Speaker 2: Little bit sexy, but also like like a spy, like
Speaker 2: you can have the conversation about your vagina and public
Speaker 2: in front of people, Like maybe it's Sally and you're like, hey,
Speaker 2: should we should we get home? Sally might be waiting,
Speaker 2: you know, like you could make it so people don't
Speaker 2: know you're having sex talk.
Speaker 1: I thought you meant like give it a name, like
Speaker 1: I don't know, pussy spy or something else.
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Anyway, let's go on to
Speaker 2: the next question. Okay, question number two. I reckon we've
Speaker 2: covered that one. I need some advice about a situation
Speaker 2: that has happened recently, I was speaking to a guy
Speaker 2: for around three and a half months and we went
Speaker 2: on about five or so dates. I felt like he
Speaker 2: was really interested because we messaged every day. He was
Speaker 2: always keen. He was always asking me questions, but he
Speaker 2: did take hours to respond sometimes, which frustrated me. About
Speaker 2: a month ago, I asked him what he was looking for,
Speaker 2: and he said he hadn't really thought about it, and
Speaker 2: he asked what I was looking for. I wasn't really
Speaker 2: keen to do casual for ages, so I just told
Speaker 2: him that straight up. He said he was happy to
Speaker 2: see where things were going. He messaged me the next
Speaker 2: day after our date, and we continued talking every day.
Speaker 2: I assumed this was a good sign, as if he
Speaker 2: was freaked out, he wouldn't have messaged back right. Three
Speaker 2: weeks later, I asked to see him because we hadn't
Speaker 2: seen each other since. He said he was too busy.
Speaker 2: A couple of days later, he didn't reply to my
Speaker 2: last message, and he still hasn't since. Have I been ghosted?
Speaker 2: I want to answer this already. Have I been ghosted?
Speaker 2: Should I message him again? I want an explanation, but
Speaker 2: I don't want to chase him. If he's not keen.
Speaker 2: Oh just leave it, girl, you've been ghosted.
Speaker 3: Just leave it.
Speaker 2: No, Like, straight up, this is the definition of ghosted.
Speaker 1: He sounds like a person that has pretty weak character.
Speaker 1: That's like, this is a big generalized statement. Obviously I
Speaker 1: don't know the guy, but I'm only going off what
Speaker 1: you've written in It sounds like he's someone who's very
Speaker 1: conflict avoidant, and when you have brought up the conversation
Speaker 1: of something more serious, he's gone, oh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I hadn't really thought about it. I don't think you
Speaker 1: date someone for three and a half months without thinking
Speaker 1: about it either either end of the spectrum and without
Speaker 1: him saying, oh, I don't want something more serious. He
Speaker 1: was able to say what he thought you wanted to
Speaker 1: hear and then just fade away into the distance and
Speaker 1: take zero responsibility for you being upset. He didn't have
Speaker 1: to deal with the conflict that could arise from having
Speaker 1: an honest conversation with you face to face. So I
Speaker 1: think that he's approached this in a really really cowardly way.
Speaker 1: Is it an uncommon way?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Loads of guys and girls do this, But I think
Speaker 1: it's pretty clear cut that you've been ghosted, and I
Speaker 1: think that after you know, three and a half months,
Speaker 1: But in that three and a half months, only having
Speaker 1: five physical dates, I don't think that you'll necessarily get
Speaker 1: the sort of closure or conversation from him, even if
Speaker 1: you reach out to him again that you deserve and
Speaker 1: that you want.
Speaker 2: I have been in this situation recently.
Speaker 3: You know that.
Speaker 2: A few weeks ago, we made the joke if you listen,
Speaker 2: if you're a longtime listener, I was like, yeah, ive
Speaker 2: seen this guy. Five days he ghosted me.
Speaker 3: I was like, Brittany, he's got a boyfriend.
Speaker 2: And then the next episode, I was like.
Speaker 3: What the fuck did he go? Casper? His name was Cass.
Speaker 1: We put up those missing person posters, guys, and we
Speaker 1: could not find him.
Speaker 2: Okay, So just to update that story, he did end
Speaker 2: up messaging me like a few days later, and in
Speaker 2: his eyes, he hadn't ghosted me. He just wanted some
Speaker 2: time with the boys. And I was like, well, that
Speaker 2: that is not how we work and that's not how
Speaker 2: a relationship progresses, and you didn't actually tell me that,
Speaker 2: So of course I'm gonna think he goes with me anyway.
Speaker 1: I think that that's a cheap cop out though as well.
Speaker 1: Like I think, for a guy, if you've been texting
Speaker 1: every single day and then all of a sudden, they
Speaker 1: don't text you at all for a week, no notice,
Speaker 1: they can call it whatever the hell they want to
Speaker 1: under the sun and say, oh, I didn't realize that
Speaker 1: you'd be offended.
Speaker 2: They're not stupid.
Speaker 1: They're avoiding conflict, taking responsibility for their actions.
Speaker 2: They know it's ghosting.
Speaker 3: Well, then he started gaslighting me.
Speaker 2: He was like, you're overreacting, you're imagining this, and I
Speaker 2: was like, hang on, I have a podcast on this, buddy.
Speaker 1: I know a red flag when I see one, pal,
Speaker 1: I know exactly.
Speaker 3: What you're doing. Laura told me.
Speaker 2: You're lighting makes this fills me with joy. Guys, no,
Speaker 2: but look, it sucks to hear it. But when not
Speaker 2: here to sugarcoat it, you definitely have been ghosted. I
Speaker 2: don't think you're going to gain anything from reaching out
Speaker 2: to him again. You've already reached out and he hasn't
Speaker 2: written back to you. And the thing that you need
Speaker 2: to realize here is you spent months with him messaging
Speaker 2: you every day. You know he's capable of it. You
Speaker 2: know he's got your number, you know he knows where
Speaker 2: you live, he knows everything about you, He has access
Speaker 2: to you. He has now chosen not to so in
Speaker 2: this situation, it's pretty early. Still, I don't think it
Speaker 2: matters why he's doing that. The fact is he's treating
Speaker 2: you like that. He's made a decision to a he
Speaker 2: doesn't want to be with you, and B he doesn't
Speaker 2: want to respectfully tell you that. He's taking a cheap
Speaker 2: way and nasty way and a hurtful way out. And
Speaker 2: that's what you need to realize in this situation. You're
Speaker 2: better than that. You deserve more than that. And even
Speaker 2: if he does respond to you and tell you the
Speaker 2: reason he doesn't want to be with you, that's not
Speaker 2: going to make you feel better. Yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 2: What is your opinion on.
Speaker 1: The part of that question where the listener had said
Speaker 1: that he would sometimes take take hours to write back
Speaker 1: and that would really enjoy her, Like, how do you
Speaker 1: feel about that? Because I know I've had really conflicted
Speaker 1: feelings when I've been seeing or dating a guy, and
Speaker 1: sometimes he's taken like a really prolonged time to write back,
Speaker 1: But yet we're still in quite constant conversation.
Speaker 2: I don't think you can weigh too heavily on that,
Speaker 2: to be honest, because I know sometimes even if I
Speaker 2: really like someone, sometimes I'm so caught up at work,
Speaker 2: I'm like flat out that I physically cannot get back
Speaker 2: to my phone to message until hours later all that night,
Speaker 2: when I finally sit down, and I might still really
Speaker 2: really like them. I don't think you can wagit too
Speaker 2: heavily on that. It's a different thing. If maybe you're
Speaker 2: seeing that he's online on WhatsApp and Instagram doing other
Speaker 2: stuff and he hasn't written back to a question or
Speaker 2: something like that, that's different. But if he's literally in
Speaker 2: his nine to five finance job and you know, he
Speaker 2: messages you four hours later at five point thirty when
Speaker 2: he knocks off, I think that's okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally agree. I do think that there's this
Speaker 1: unrealistic expectation that people are online and in contact all
Speaker 1: the time. I think that we need to have some
Speaker 1: perspective that people do work, people do have busy lives,
Speaker 1: so there are times when people are legitimately too busy
Speaker 1: to be on text all day having like a running
Speaker 1: conversation of what they're doing. The only thing that I think,
Speaker 1: which you've already highlighted, but it is. If they are
Speaker 1: on WhatsApp, you can see they're online, you can tell
Speaker 1: that they're talking to other people and being super socially active,
Speaker 1: but they're choosing not to talk to you. I do
Speaker 1: think that that's a really clear indication of where someone's
Speaker 1: priority lies. And I think if those red flags are
Speaker 1: displaying themselves early on in a relationship when you should
Speaker 1: be a priority of conversation, then that's a big like.
Speaker 2: Abort mission. Yeah, and it might just be me, Laura,
Speaker 2: I don't know how you feel about this, and might
Speaker 2: be the way I look at things and my perspective.
Speaker 2: But to me, if somebody doesn't want to be with me,
Speaker 2: if they're not choosing me, it just doesn't matter. And
Speaker 2: I don't feel the need to sit down and say, well,
Speaker 2: tell me what's wrong with me, tell me what you
Speaker 2: didn't like about me, because what are you gonna do
Speaker 2: then go and change those things to suit that person?
Speaker 2: That it's not gonna work anyway. Six months later, when
Speaker 2: the real authentic you comes out, because that's who you are,
Speaker 2: you're gonna be back in the same situation. So for me,
Speaker 2: I don't really feel it's different in a long term relationship,
Speaker 2: justification closure, that's different five dates in if he fucks off,
Speaker 2: fuck him off a man, that's my I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just think if someone is so, I just amount
Speaker 2: a point in my life where I have had every
Speaker 2: type of relationship, every type of dating, every type of incident, Volcano, Lola,
Speaker 2: Derby's heartbreaks.
Speaker 3: I had it all.
Speaker 2: I've experienced the whole sectrum. So like, I feel like
Speaker 2: this comes from a place of experience. But if this
Speaker 2: this early on, he's making you feel this shitty, which
Speaker 2: you obviously are, forget him. There's gonna be someone better.
Speaker 2: He'll probably contact you down the track. He'll probably slide
Speaker 2: back in a few months. And I hope you're strong
Speaker 2: enough to be like, hey, I got myself a new boy.
Speaker 1: And also, for as long as you're putting time and
Speaker 1: energy into someone who's only half invested in your relationship,
Speaker 1: like after three and a half months, you know, and
Speaker 1: you can make a decision as to whether you want
Speaker 1: something that's more serious, and you obviously did that and
Speaker 1: he hasn't stepped up to the plate. But don't waste
Speaker 1: any more time because you will end up being in
Speaker 1: a situationship that doesn't eventuate anywhere, that doesn't make you
Speaker 1: happy and makes you feel crazy like that's where this
Speaker 1: is going to end up heading. So I feel like
Speaker 1: we've covered this, and I hope that we've given you
Speaker 1: a little bit of the closure that you're looking for.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's not in as nice as terms or as
Speaker 1: nice I mean, i'd love to be able to say, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be fine, it's all gonna work out. I
Speaker 1: think you deserve better, and I think you definitely deserve
Speaker 1: to have been treated better at the ending of this
Speaker 1: relationship as well.
Speaker 2: And I do one more thing, I guess.
Speaker 3: So I am trying to wrap it.
Speaker 2: Up, I know, but I get so passionate about these
Speaker 2: I don't want you to think that I'm not being
Speaker 2: sympathetic or anything, because I am. And I know how
Speaker 2: much it sucks. I don't know how much it hurts.
Speaker 2: And the feeling of rejection, whether that's two weeks in
Speaker 2: one dating, whether they don't even respond once on like
Speaker 2: bumble or whatever, the feeling of rejection really really hurts.
Speaker 2: But you need to close that chapter and open another one.
Speaker 2: And the second, I promise you, the second you meet
Speaker 2: someone else and start chatting and vibing and having a
Speaker 2: good time again with a new connection and realizing that
Speaker 2: someone else is making you a priority. I promise you
Speaker 2: will feel better about this situation. You always feel shitty
Speaker 2: in a situation until something else makes you feel good,
Speaker 2: or until you make yourself feel good. Well, I mean
Speaker 2: not someone else, something else. So anything in your life
Speaker 2: that's going to bring you up. Go for surf, go
Speaker 2: for run, meeting your friend, go kiss a boy on
Speaker 2: the dance floor that is not possible because of COVID.
Speaker 2: I was like, what twenty twenty are you living in Brittany?
Speaker 1: Magpie girl over here is like hearing this going, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: what are you doing in New Stop Way?
Speaker 2: Else a magpie girl?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 1: Question number three? Then this is our last question. Guys,
Speaker 1: you know this is our short sharp episode.
Speaker 2: Question number three. I mean a loving relationship. He's by
Speaker 2: far the most supportive, fun loving guy I have ever
Speaker 2: been with. However, I have heard slash Bin told I
Speaker 2: wonder if she's talking about us multiple times that the
Speaker 2: warning signs in the beginning of a relationship is what
Speaker 2: ends and affects the relationship down the track. In the beginning,
Speaker 2: I found him so annoying, which initially made me question
Speaker 2: the relationship, and it was a very slow burn. Let
Speaker 2: me tell you, he is aware of this. It's now
Speaker 2: been almost two years, and some days he's so annoying
Speaker 2: and gets so frustrated and so mad at him, and
Speaker 2: then that caused TIFFs all throughout the day. Is this
Speaker 2: an orange flag? I'm not calling it a red flag
Speaker 2: because he's not doing anything nearly as bad as cheating,
Speaker 2: for example. So is this an orange flag? Or am
Speaker 2: I just being silly?
Speaker 1: This is such a good question because I don't think
Speaker 1: that there's well I mean, maybe there is, but I
Speaker 1: feel like anyone in long term relationships get annoyed by
Speaker 1: their partners. Like I mean, I think that being annoyed
Speaker 1: is a very normal thing from time to time, finding
Speaker 1: your partner annoying. However, the fact that you felt him
Speaker 1: very annoying from the get go and you told him
Speaker 1: that and he's very aware of it, I find it
Speaker 1: very funny.
Speaker 2: And also it's two years deep and you're still very
Speaker 2: annoyed with him.
Speaker 1: It's really hard to know and to give you advice
Speaker 1: on this without knowing what he's doing that's annoying. You know,
Speaker 1: maybe part of his personality is that he behaves in
Speaker 1: a really childlike way. But also maybe one of the
Speaker 1: things that you like about him and the fact that
Speaker 1: your relationship is so fun and the fact that you
Speaker 1: find him so funny, is also the fact that he
Speaker 1: is a bit childish. And so I think that there
Speaker 1: are some situations in life where you have to take
Speaker 1: the good with the bad and you have to love
Speaker 1: the person that you're with for all.
Speaker 2: Their weird ass quirks. I don't think it's a red flag.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's an orange flag.
Speaker 1: I just think it's one of those things that you
Speaker 1: can work on in your relationship, and also patience is
Speaker 1: something that you can work on in yourself.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm not sure I agree, But having said that,
Speaker 2: I haven't been in a long term relationship in a
Speaker 2: very long time. I find out annoying all the time.
Speaker 1: I think in a good way, though, Like I mean,
Speaker 1: I love him to death.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't change a thing.
Speaker 1: I love that he's such a fool, But also sometimes
Speaker 1: when I'm not in a mood for it, I'm like,
Speaker 1: why are you behaving like you're seven?
Speaker 2: You are thirty three, you have a child? What level
Speaker 2: of annoyance. Do you think you have with Matt in
Speaker 2: a weekly basis and be on a daily basis? It
Speaker 2: depends on the day.
Speaker 3: Twenty three hours.
Speaker 1: No, Like, I don't think it's normal to be irritated
Speaker 1: by your partner constantly. I think if there's this constant
Speaker 1: state of irritation, then something is wrong. But I do
Speaker 1: think that, you know, it is normal to go through
Speaker 1: periods where you find your partner being irritating to you,
Speaker 1: or maybe you're not in the mood to have such
Speaker 1: a jovial or lighthearted or whatever it is. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's really hard without knowing the exact specifics around what
Speaker 1: it is that she finds annoying. But I do think
Speaker 1: that there is also like a level of patients that
Speaker 1: comes to play as well. Like, I mean, I know
Speaker 1: that when I'm finding that annoying, it's because my patience
Speaker 1: levels are really low and I'm irritated by things more easily.
Speaker 1: So maybe if this is just isolated to him, and
Speaker 1: you know that it's you are a stable and constant
Speaker 1: then maybe there is more of a problem. But I
Speaker 1: still think that it doesn't have to be an orange flag.
Speaker 2: My only sort of question query here is that I
Speaker 2: think in a long term relationship, like Laurie just said,
Speaker 2: it is normal to start to get annoyed by things,
Speaker 2: and that's that's for a multitude of reasons. You're tired,
Speaker 2: your stress, your patience is thin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you often, just like you often just like
Speaker 1: take your daily irritations and annoyances out on your partner
Speaker 1: because they're the closest to you. I mean, it's not fair,
Speaker 1: and you love them the most. But I know when
Speaker 1: I'm irritated, I kind of end up taking it out
Speaker 1: on Matt And you know, I find the things about
Speaker 1: him that I normally absolutely love, which is the fact
Speaker 1: that he's so silly, I find it annoying.
Speaker 2: But my only worry here is that she starts by saying,
Speaker 2: has literally been since day one. She's like, I, he
Speaker 2: annoyed me from day one, and she's like.
Speaker 3: That, That's why I'm a bit perplexed.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, why, I don't know, why is this
Speaker 2: relationship continue for two years? She even said it was
Speaker 2: like a slow burn, and she queried whether she should
Speaker 2: even be with him.
Speaker 3: It's a bit of it.
Speaker 2: It's like a little like I don't know, why don't
Speaker 2: we call it like beij flag. Maybe I can call
Speaker 2: it a salmon color flag, like salmon.
Speaker 1: Why did you get over that in the first place? Like,
Speaker 1: if you found him a little bit irritating in the
Speaker 1: first place, what was it that changed your mind? What
Speaker 1: is it that made you want to get into relationship
Speaker 1: with him? What were the great things that you found
Speaker 1: in his personality that made you go, actually, I want
Speaker 1: to be with this man for two and a half years.
Speaker 1: I also think that before you just chuck in your
Speaker 1: relationship and blame everything on the other person, I think
Speaker 1: that sometimes we need to check our annoyances and why
Speaker 1: we're annoyed by something, and what it is that person's
Speaker 1: doing is actually big in the grand scheme of things.
Speaker 1: Is it actually affecting our day? Are we trying to
Speaker 1: be too controlling of the situation? Are we projecting what
Speaker 1: the way we want that person to behave onto them?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: There are a lot of other questions that come into
Speaker 1: play here, And I do honestly think that sometimes we
Speaker 1: can check our own behavior and check our own internal
Speaker 1: annoyances before we project that onto someone else.
Speaker 2: It's a good point. I think you can go back
Speaker 2: to the start and think about like Laurd just said,
Speaker 2: if he annoyed you so much, why did you get
Speaker 2: into a relationship with him? And I say this because
Speaker 2: I want you to go back and think, did you
Speaker 2: settle for that relationship and try to make it work
Speaker 2: when you didn't think it was ideal because you were
Speaker 2: at a point in your life where you really wanted
Speaker 2: a relationship and you want a company, you might have
Speaker 2: felt down, or did you decide to put the annoyance
Speaker 2: aside and date him because he's so fucking funny, he's
Speaker 2: so kind, he treats you well, what were the other reasons?
Speaker 2: If you can go back and think that you think
Speaker 2: you were just in a really bad place and you
Speaker 2: just wanted a company, then you need to probably have
Speaker 2: a little reconsider of if this is still the right
Speaker 2: thing for you. If you think he's an amazing person
Speaker 2: in every other aspect and that's why you're dating him,
Speaker 2: then just chat to him. If his annoyance is because
Speaker 2: he's a child, or if his annoyance is because you
Speaker 2: don't think it cleans or helps or does anything else,
Speaker 2: that's pretty easy to sit down and have a chat about. Like, look, baby,
Speaker 2: this really fucking frustrates me when I come home, You've
Speaker 2: been home all day and the shit everywhere.
Speaker 3: Oh there's no dinner.
Speaker 2: So I think you just need to nail down what
Speaker 2: the frustration is. And that's why it's hard for l
Speaker 2: Or and I to answer this properly. But nail down
Speaker 2: what the annoyance is, what the frustration is, and that's
Speaker 2: how you're going to decide what path are you going
Speaker 2: to take. I think I just want to add one
Speaker 2: more thing to this as well. Our wrapaps are terrible.
Speaker 1: I just want to add one more thing in that
Speaker 1: if you are feeling a little bit annoyed by something
Speaker 1: that he's done, and then that is transpiring into bickering
Speaker 1: that happens throughout the day and you being angry, I
Speaker 1: think communication is a really big part of this, and
Speaker 1: like brit has said, like you need to have a conversation,
Speaker 1: sit down, explain how you're feeling.
Speaker 2: You've said that he was.
Speaker 1: Aware early on in the relationship that there were things
Speaker 1: that annoyed you. Maybe he's kind of forgotten and just
Speaker 1: gotten back into like an old habit or something. But
Speaker 1: you have also said at the beginning of this and
Speaker 1: something I want to like really reiterate that's really important
Speaker 1: and one of the most important things is that you've
Speaker 1: said that you're in a loving relationship. He's supportive and
Speaker 1: fun and one of the most fun, loving guys that
Speaker 1: you've ever been with. So there are obviously aspects of
Speaker 1: his personality that you adore that you love being with.
Speaker 1: And nobody out there in the whole wilde world is
Speaker 1: going to be completely perfect and not piss you off
Speaker 1: at any point in time, excepting.
Speaker 2: Laura saw me leading to She was like, I know,
Speaker 2: I know what this joke is. I know where it's
Speaker 2: coming from. You cheap thrill the end, full stop.
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming to my ted talk today.
Speaker 2: You might have work on that rabot guys. That is
Speaker 2: Ask Guncut Therapy Thursday. Thank you for tuning in, Thanks
Speaker 2: for lending us your ears and pulling up with us.
Speaker 2: We love bringing this every single week. So quick housekeeping,
Speaker 2: I mean we do every week. Subscribe, leave a review
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Speaker 2: has named your vagina perfect. What a lovely way to
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Speaker 4: We loved. They were cut on all their company. They
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