1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: The Rise and Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: the land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: Bear region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their 4 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: to their elders past and present and extend that respect 6 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: to all Aboriginal and terrestrid Islander peoples today. Hello and 7 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This is 8 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: the podcast for ordinary people who want to do extraordinary things. 9 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 1: I think initially, like personally, as someone who's obviously heavily 10 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: into you know, self development, I very much pick and 11 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: choose who I preach my beliefs to. I'm not going 12 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: around to everyone being. 13 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 2: Like life happens for me. 14 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conker Podcast. 15 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: It is your host, Georgie Stevenson, the lawyer turned entrepreneur, mom, wife, 16 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,199 Speaker 1: business owner and all the things guys. Today we have 17 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: a pretty fun g's hotline, So normally these are our 18 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: Friday epps where you send in your life dilemmas and 19 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: me and a tea provide you with our very unqualified 20 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: two cents on this situation, except you don't need to 21 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 1: check your calendar because today is in back to Tuesday. 22 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,479 Speaker 2: But we're going a. 23 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: Bit rogue because Friday we have a very special EP. 24 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:46,960 Speaker 2: You don't want to miss it. 25 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: It's if you love tea, if you love the goss, 26 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: you will love it, and if you're a marketing galley, 27 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: you will love it. But today's at the questions we answer. 28 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: When to set boundaries around who comes to your wedding, 29 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: how to help help your friend or person you love 30 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: in a negative loop, and how to know if you're 31 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: neglecting your friends or if they're just asking too much 32 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: of you. That was a fun one. Before we get 33 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: into it, though, quick update on our week at tea 34 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 1: and hello, hello, quick week update. 35 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 2: Give it to me. 36 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 3: I hit all my nutrition last week, except I was 37 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 3: just about to say, how's the nutrition going good? And 38 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 3: eating all your protein in a day makes a huge 39 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 3: difference to your energy levels, can confirm thought crazy? And 40 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 3: then I went to see the Black Panther movie on 41 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 3: Friday night, which was really fun. 42 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,239 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it was a good. 43 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 3: It was amazing. I cried a lot at the end, 44 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 3: but it was very well made and the story was 45 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 3: really good, so I highly recommend that. 46 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: Love that a little Tuesday wreckfor gone completely rode. 47 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 3: What about you? How is your week? 48 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,519 Speaker 2: Week is great? 49 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: I have been feeling really excited this week because I'm 50 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: a bit of bean, like creative energy. Should I just tell. 51 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 3: Them go ahead? 52 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: I wrote my notes for this intro guys, and He's like, 53 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: when you're telling them that, yet, what are you doing? 54 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not going to tell them the name. 55 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: I'm just like explaining hod whip me with my wife. No, 56 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: I've been in creative energy because, for like the very 57 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: first time in what three years since the project came 58 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: out three years, four years i think four, for the 59 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: very first time, I have created a new course whew. 60 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: And it's just it's been my favorite thing, and I've 61 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: been like really refining it the last couple of days 62 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: and I'm just obsessed. And you know when you have 63 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 1: like a passion project and you just like feel the 64 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: fire and you're. 65 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 2: Just like, yes, I love this. 66 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: That's what's currently happening at the moment. And tomorrow I'm 67 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: like filming some little modules for it, and I just 68 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: feel so excited and just high vibe and yeah, good 69 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: vibes this week. So obviously cannot tell you what it's about, 70 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: but you guys would know soon. 71 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 2: But before we get into the episode. 72 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: I know we're answering a big question, itire, Yes, I'm 73 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: still stumped on my answer. 74 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 3: So, so our big question for this week is would 75 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: you rather an uncomfortable truth or a comfortable lie? Do 76 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 3: just thinking? So? 77 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: Basically, would I rather be lied to but have a 78 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: very comfortable life. 79 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 3: Or a comfortable lie? Yeah? Yeah? 80 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: Or an uncomfortable truth? 81 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 3: Yeah? Like would you which one would you rather hold 82 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 3: on to? 83 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 2: I just I'd probably rather know the truth. 84 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:48,119 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, then be you know, blindsided or kind 85 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: of not ignorant. 86 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 3: But what's the I would say, kind of like if 87 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 3: you're wanting to believe a comfortable lie, it's a bit 88 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 3: of that ignorance is bliss kind of situation where you 89 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 3: don't know, so it's not really your problem and you're 90 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 3: in like a bubble. 91 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: It depends what it's about. 92 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 3: Yeah, is it about me? 93 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: Is it about my husband? Is it about Ivy? You know, 94 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: because it would change really yeah, like if it's about 95 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: you or. 96 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 3: Tim. 97 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: Oh, if it's about Tim, i'd want to know. If 98 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,279 Speaker 1: it's about Ivy, I'd want to know if it's about me, 99 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 1: I'd probably just be happy with a bit of mean 100 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: about you in the sense of like. 101 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm confused, what do I mean? 102 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 2: Like about you? Wouldn't you know because it's you m true? 103 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,279 Speaker 3: Or is it more like you wouldn't want to know 104 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:44,359 Speaker 3: if someone finds you annoying or you wouldn't want to. 105 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, No, that's what I mean. 106 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 3: Like if someone's like, oh my god, she's so annoying, 107 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 3: like lots of people find me annoying. 108 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: Get o friends, And also like I don't care. 109 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 2: But if it's something. 110 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: Like you know in Tim, like Tim I doesn't want 111 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,840 Speaker 1: to be as home dad anymore, you'd want to know. 112 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 2: I'd want to know. Yeah, so it's kind of hard. 113 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. 114 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 2: Also I do love knowing things. 115 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 3: So do you reckon though, anything that isn't about you, 116 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 3: you'd want to know? 117 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what's your kind of. 118 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 3: I think I definitely want the uncomfortable truth because I 119 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 3: I just thought honesty is the best policy, was everyone's value, 120 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 3: But I've come to learn that it's not in some 121 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 3: cases for some people they'd rather just not address things. 122 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 3: But I always think if you're honest, you'll never go wrong, 123 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 3: Like it will be uncomfortable. But I feel like most 124 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 3: truths are uncomfortable in the beginning, and then you work 125 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 3: around it and you grow from it, and then it's 126 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 3: not so uncomfortable. Yeah, and you have to be uncomfortable 127 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,919 Speaker 3: to grow. Yeah. So because also that's like another point 128 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 3: of just because it's an uncomfortable truth, like, it doesn't 129 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 3: mean that you won't not grow to love it. But 130 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 3: you know, yeah, and I think absolutely every person who 131 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 3: it'll be different speeds, but any person who does get 132 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 3: an uncomfortable truth will learn to be comfortable with it 133 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 3: because you can't let that throw you off your life path. Yeah, 134 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Well, that's even like if 135 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,679 Speaker 3: we're going back to my thing of like if I 136 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 3: if you know, someone finds me annoying, it just wouldn't 137 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 3: bother you to wash over you. True. Yeah, so. 138 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: I almost need examples for this to tea. 139 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 3: We'll start to add examples to our big questions. I 140 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 3: would love to know, though, what did the audience so 141 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 3: the audience, what did I love? 142 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 2: What did the community say? 143 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 3: Ninety percent said the truth and ten percent said that'd 144 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 3: rather not know, which is fair? 145 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,400 Speaker 2: Hang on, I've got one for you. 146 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:52,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, So what about if it's something for example, because 147 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: your parents have been together forever, hey. 148 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 3: Since the mid twenties, early twenties. 149 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, like they're still together, they still love each other. 150 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. 151 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 3: Yeah. 152 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: What about if you, like, for instance, back in the day, 153 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: your dad did something not not great she did on 154 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: your mom? 155 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 2: Would you want to know that? 156 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: But they're together now, they've worked it out, if your 157 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: dad's still your dad. 158 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 3: As in, like my mom knows, would I want to. 159 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: Know your mom doesn't know, would you want to know? 160 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 3: Well, yes, because i'd have to tell my mom, all. 161 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 2: Right, she knows. What would you want to know. 162 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 3: If she knew and they'd worked through it? Yeah, I 163 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 3: probably just wouldn't, Like it's not my business. 164 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 2: Well that's what I mean. 165 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 3: No, that's what I'm kind of saying. Yeah, I get 166 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 3: what you mean. In those situations, it's like I'm not 167 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:47,439 Speaker 3: nothing's gonna actually like if it's not going to change anything, correct, Yeah, 168 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 3: those sorts of situations like oh, I don't really need 169 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 3: to know because I like love my dad and I 170 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 3: see him in a certain light and I don't really. 171 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:53,360 Speaker 1: Want to talk. 172 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, because he is a good guy. Yeah, that's actually 173 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 3: really true. I feel like it's a bit niche, but. 174 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: That was so s. 175 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: He is like, I don't know anything of your dad. 176 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 3: That was just a no no. 177 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 2: I know, I know what you mean. 178 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 3: In cases like that where I'm not one of the 179 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:20,079 Speaker 3: parties concerned, I don't really want to know, but if 180 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 3: I'm involved in the truth, i'd rather know. 181 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: See. I love a bit of goss though. 182 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,079 Speaker 2: All right, on that note to. 183 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 3: The episode, our first question. So, I have had a 184 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:46,319 Speaker 3: friendship group from ten years ago, and we were close 185 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 3: through school, etc. But have just grown more and more apart. 186 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 3: I also have evaluated their friendships and decided they were 187 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 3: really quite mean to me and not who I value 188 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 3: as friends and let them take advantage of me slash 189 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 3: treat me crap for a good few years. None of 190 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 3: them reached out to me in my pregnancy, and I 191 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 3: just feel like I don't want to be friends with them, 192 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 3: or I only want to be friends with one of them, 193 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 3: to be honest. Anyway, my wedding is next year and 194 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 3: I don't want to invite them except the one girl. 195 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 3: But I don't really know how to go around this. 196 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 3: We have a group chat and they message on it 197 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 3: like twice a year, but nothing crazy, but I'm just 198 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 3: not interested in being their friend anymore. I don't want 199 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 3: them at my wedding, and I just don't know what 200 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 3: to do as I feel like they expect to be 201 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 3: at my wedding. 202 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: Okay, so basically this person is asking they've got old 203 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: friends from high school, they don't really talk, maybe they're 204 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 1: not that great friends. 205 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 2: Should they be invited to the wedding? 206 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 3: I say, no, I agree, I wouldn't. 207 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: I just think, actually, I dia, no, I wouldn't. I 208 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 1: just think she's already said they're crappy friends, Like, why 209 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: would you me personally the wedding. It's such an intimate 210 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: thing where you're literally expressing your dying love for someone 211 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 1: and you're you know, you're making it hashtager visual. I 212 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: just think you don't want to just like random people 213 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: there who maybe not like don't have your best interests 214 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: or really believe in you and your relationship. And I 215 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: just think, like, why bother? Just I don't care if 216 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,439 Speaker 1: they expect it. It's about you, it's your wedding. 217 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 3: What was your like sort of measuring stick of letting 218 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:31,679 Speaker 3: someone come to your wedding. 219 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 2: Literally just if I wanted them to. 220 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: I did, like, I'd so fair, don't think there should 221 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: be a measure, like you know what I. 222 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 2: Mean, Yeah, it's just like a feeling. 223 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 3: And did you message people? So I'm assuming there were 224 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 3: people that thought they would have been invited that you 225 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:47,439 Speaker 3: didn't invite. 226 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 2: I don't know, not self aware enough. 227 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 3: Did you message anyone that that you thought like was 228 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 3: on that cusp to say hey, like sorry, you're not coming. 229 00:11:58,440 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 3: No interesting. 230 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 1: I just think and how I feel too, Like if 231 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 1: there was someone that I think, oh, you know, maybe 232 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: I would like to be invited to their wedding and 233 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: they didn't, I would just be like, cool, it's their decision, 234 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,719 Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't like, you. 235 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 3: Know where you stand kind of. 236 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, And also it's all good, like if you're not 237 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: that person's best friend, Like maybe if it was a 238 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: best friend, I'd be like, you know, concerned. Yeah, if 239 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: you're not that person's best friend, I just think of 240 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,960 Speaker 1: the way of, oh, it's you know, it's probably an 241 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,680 Speaker 1: intimate wedding, or yeah, maybe we're just not that close anymore, 242 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: and like that's also fine. 243 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think even starting to look at that 244 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 3: as more of a good thing rather than being offended 245 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 3: of it. In the sense of not going like, oh 246 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 3: now I know where I stand. It's more just like, oh, cool, 247 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 3: so that's where we're at, and then you can adjust 248 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 3: the energy you put into that relationship accordingly. 249 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 1: And also, this person has literally said I do not 250 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: want to be friends with them, so. 251 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:56,440 Speaker 2: Why do you care? 252 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, like I this will almost be like the nail 253 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: and the coffin, which is, if you don't want to 254 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: be friends with them, it's like perfect. 255 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:06,319 Speaker 2: Usic, right. 256 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: I think, though, let's talk about you know, maybe you 257 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,600 Speaker 1: do have an intimate wedding, so maybe you've got to 258 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 1: be very. 259 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 2: Strict with a guest list. 260 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 261 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: I think it's perfectly fine to message someone and just say, look, 262 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 1: you know. 263 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 3: I adore you as a person. I really, you know, 264 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,560 Speaker 3: love our friendship. It was a really hard decision, but 265 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,199 Speaker 3: you know, we're having an intimate wedding and I just 266 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 3: I don't have the space because you know, our families 267 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:35,599 Speaker 3: are so big. 268 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 2: Or something like that. 269 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 1: And I think that's really nice and any friend would 270 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 1: be so understanding of that absolutely, And if they're not, 271 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: then maybe they're not the right kind of friend for you. 272 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I feel like most of the people in 273 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 3: my life obviously best friends aside who would be offended, 274 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 3: but like those friends would go, oh, totally fine, totally 275 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 3: get it. Hope you have the most beautiful day. 276 00:13:58,880 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 277 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 3: Like, and if you don't have that sort of people 278 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 3: around you, then maybe you need to work and get 279 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,319 Speaker 3: some people like that around you and make space for that. 280 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:09,760 Speaker 1: And I think also, like you go through phases of 281 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 1: your life, Like if you think about high school, that 282 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 1: is so long ago. 283 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 3: I literally have. 284 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 1: One friend from high school really, yeah, one friend. 285 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 3: So your current girl groups not like a school. 286 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 1: No, not a UNI one either, oh, just like random one. 287 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: It's kind of like Tim's friends girlfriends. Yeah, yeah, actually 288 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: girls from other schools that were in the same grade anyway, 289 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 1: are these girls from But I just like, I think 290 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: as you grow and evolve, you're going to have a 291 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: lot of relationships from you know, walks of life, and 292 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: it would just be like ludicrous to think that everyone 293 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: you know can be there. And I think, yeah, I 294 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: think it's fine, I think she said thinking it. 295 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 3: I think so too. And I think especially if none 296 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 3: of these friends reached out to you when you were pregnant, Ah, 297 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 3: that's yeah, that should have been a nail in the coffin. 298 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a big no no for me now having 299 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: a baby like that's now not on. 300 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 2: Don't need them exactly. 301 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, so message them if you want, or pop a 302 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 3: message in the group chat if you feel the need to. 303 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 3: But you probably don't even need to do me. I'm like, 304 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 3: if you feel like you need to, yeah, I don't know. 305 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 1: I just I don't think you even have to justify it. 306 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 3: But if you, yeah, if I need to, you stand 307 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 3: where she's coming from, because I have a friendship group 308 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 3: from school in saying that I haven't been out of 309 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 3: school that long, but I would I would message that 310 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 3: chat and be like, hey, like, just wanted to let 311 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,359 Speaker 3: you know I'm getting married. I'm very excited. 312 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 2: It's you're not coming. 313 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 3: You're not coming. It's gonna be like pretty small. And 314 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 3: we were tight on the guest list. So I haven't 315 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 3: managed to fit you guys in, but I don't want 316 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 3: you to feel like I hid it from you or 317 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 3: anything like that. Yeah, and then just see what they say. Yeah, fine, amazing. 318 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 2: Guys. 319 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 1: So me and a Tia are both we're on the 320 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 1: fit train. We fit Batty is right now for summer, 321 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: for summer and ourselves and ourselves because hot Girl summer 322 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: is coming. It's cot so, as you guys know, I've 323 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 1: gone back to gym after IVY, and literally at the moment, 324 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,120 Speaker 1: I'm doing a bit of a challenge. A tea is 325 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: doing a challenge. And if you're a fit girl like us, 326 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: or you try to be a fit girl like for 327 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: China Best, we're China Best. You guys need to make 328 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: sure you get onto Endh's Core Products, which is our 329 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: all natural pre workout. I personally have one scoop of 330 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: our Sweet Strawberry OG pre workout, and I then have 331 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 1: one scoup of our stim Free pre workout. So obviously 332 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 1: OG has caffeine and stim Free doesn't. So if you're 333 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 1: training in the afternoon, stim Free is going to be 334 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: your best friend because it's not going to disturb your sleep. 335 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 1: And then, of course post workout or getting in your 336 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: protein is so important. Your coach said that, didn't she 337 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: tear Protein's one of my highest macros and I really 338 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: struggled to get my protein in because I love carbs. 339 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,640 Speaker 3: I'm like, I need to eat some like just raw 340 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 3: dick it. 341 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 1: At this point, Well, guys, you don't have to eat 342 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: brought chicken, and please don't do that because na Hate 343 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 1: has Thrive plant protein which is all natural, vegan, golod 344 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: and free and free from refined sugars. 345 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,920 Speaker 3: So can I highly recommend the cook cream flavor. It's 346 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 3: like drinking an oreum milkshakes. Oh my god, it's so good. 347 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: So, guys, if you're on the fit gal train like 348 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 1: me and a tea, you need to try out our 349 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 1: pre workout and our protein. Just go to Naked Harvest 350 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: Supplements dot com and of course rn C fem I've 351 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: got a cheeky discount for you. You can use the code 352 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: rise at checkout. All right, enough about us being fit gals, 353 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 1: let's get back into the episode. 354 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 3: Next question. My self development journey has been amazing so far. 355 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 3: Just by following and listening to the podcast, my personal 356 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 3: life and mindset transformed so much, so thank you for that. 357 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 3: From the bottom of my heart, I know that life 358 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 3: happens for me, and everything happens to help me grow 359 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 3: and come out on the other side, stronger, more loved 360 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 3: and aligned. However, I am struggling so much to hold 361 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 3: true to this at times when currently I have very 362 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 3: close friends going through absolutely horrific things. I'm trying so 363 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 3: hard to believe that the universe knows they will get 364 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 3: through it, and that there is something incredible and peaceful 365 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 3: around the corner for them and their families. But I 366 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 3: just can't say that to them. I feel guilty, rude, 367 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 3: or I'm scared of offending them and hurting them. So 368 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,199 Speaker 3: many of my daily conversations turn from empowerment, trust, and 369 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 3: surrender to then, why is this happening to them? It's 370 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 3: not fair? So is this okay? Do I try to 371 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,159 Speaker 3: share my new understanding carefully and respectfully? Do I choose 372 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,400 Speaker 3: to stay silent and let them find their own way 373 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 3: through this and just be there as their friend and 374 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 3: support someone to listen to them and give them positive energy? 375 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 3: Or am I blocking this journey by not fully embracing 376 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 3: my beliefs? And is this in fact a limiting belief? 377 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 1: I think this is such a usual thing for someone 378 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: who is on their personal development journey. Absolutely, And you 379 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: kind of you realize, You're like, it's almost like that 380 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: first instance of being self aware of realizing that someone 381 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: might be in a negative loop or have limiting beliefs, 382 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: and you're learning about it and you can see it 383 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 1: so clearly and they can't, and you're like evolving and 384 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: they're not, and it's this weird it's like a slow 385 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,119 Speaker 1: motion crash. 386 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 2: Like I don't know what to do, and it's like, so. 387 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,679 Speaker 1: I definitely feel for this person. I kind of have 388 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: two answers. I think initially, like personally, as someone who's 389 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:42,200 Speaker 1: obviously heavily into you know, self development, I very much 390 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:47,160 Speaker 1: pick and choose who I preach my beliefs to. I'm 391 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,360 Speaker 1: not going around to everyone being like life happens for 392 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:54,160 Speaker 1: me and everything's going to be like I pretty much 393 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: do it to you guys, let's be honest on the 394 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: podcast at work, because I know you're kind of on 395 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 1: my level and you understand and what I'm talking about. 396 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 1: But there are certain friends where you know, if something 397 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: shitty happens, and I'm not gonna be like, well, life 398 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:09,199 Speaker 1: happens for you, Yeah, this is gonna be great. Just 399 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: you wait, you just wait, Like I very much pick 400 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: and choose, and I kind of know my audience, if 401 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: that makes sense. So I think it's like, initially, I 402 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,159 Speaker 1: think you've just got to be that friend who is, 403 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,400 Speaker 1: you know, there for them and comforting and a lot 404 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 1: of the time when someone's going through that, they don't 405 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: want to hear, you know, life happens for them or 406 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,120 Speaker 1: everything happens for a reason. That's kind of the worst 407 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 1: thing you can say. They just want support and they 408 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 1: just want someone to listen to them. And I think 409 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 1: you can still do that, why simultaneously having your own 410 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 1: beliefs and really locking. 411 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 2: Into, you know, your journey. 412 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,000 Speaker 1: I don't think you're blocking your journey by giving them, 413 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 1: you know, the space to. 414 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,680 Speaker 2: Feel their feelings. And I think it's really important. 415 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 1: To give yourself space to sit in negative feelings and 416 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 1: to feel them and not just like push them down. 417 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: But in saying that, it does kind of swing the 418 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 1: other way. If then the friendship, it's like this person 419 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 1: constantly is in this negative loop and they you know, 420 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: maybe they do need a reality check, if that makes sense. 421 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 1: And then I might step in and be like, hey, 422 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,000 Speaker 1: we kind of you kind of say the same things 423 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,120 Speaker 1: to me, or you talk about the exact same things, 424 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: you know, have you ever thought it from this perspective, if. 425 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 2: That makes sense. 426 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 1: But if they're just going through something shitty and it's 427 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 1: like the initial thing, I think just you know, be 428 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,359 Speaker 1: for them, be their friends. It doesn't have to mean 429 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: anything about your journey. 430 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the only thing that I've noticed here 431 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 3: is that it's changed almost your self talk in terms 432 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,680 Speaker 3: of life happens for me. Like she mentioned, I turn 433 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,359 Speaker 3: my conversations are going from empowering to like, why this 434 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 3: is happening? This isn't fair. And I think it's so 435 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 3: fine to acknowledge feelings like that because sometimes things don't 436 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 3: make sense, but don't dwell on it too much, because 437 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 3: you sort of need to be your best self and 438 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 3: be high vibe so that your friend can almost feed 439 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 3: off that energy, because if you're getting pulled down, you're 440 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 3: both going to end up in the loop together and 441 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 3: then that's just a bit of a train smash. 442 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:20,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, almost being conscious conscious thoughts. Yeah, when am I 443 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 1: kind of getting wrapped up in this? Or when am 444 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 1: I just being a good friend? 445 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 3: Yeah? And it's fine to care for them and want 446 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 3: to support them, but don't take on their luggage as 447 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:31,480 Speaker 3: your own. 448 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 1: Yes, I think that's honestly one of the hardest things. Yeah, 449 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: I think sometimes I actually was doing this recently where 450 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,720 Speaker 1: I was almost buying into a bit of fear that 451 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 1: was around me, and I had to be like, wait, Georgia. 452 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 3: It's so easy when you're an EmPATH, Yes, and that's 453 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 3: what it was. 454 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: I was just feeling the fear, and especially when it's 455 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,920 Speaker 1: people that you can resonate with, situations you can resonate with, Oh, 456 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: that could happen to me, or you know, something that 457 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 1: could happen. And I was buying into it and then. 458 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,840 Speaker 2: I could feel it like almost infecting me. 459 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,679 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, And I was like self aware and I 460 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, I can't let this, you know, continue, 461 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: And in those instances where it is like infecting you, 462 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,119 Speaker 1: I don't know a better word to describe this. 463 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. 464 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: Important to know when to pull yourself out of that 465 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,959 Speaker 1: environment though, and maybe give yourself a break, because, like 466 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,200 Speaker 1: you said, you cannot be the best friend if you're 467 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: also in a negative loop. So as much as you 468 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: want to be a good friend and supportive, you need 469 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: to know when you need to like draw back, conserve 470 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,879 Speaker 1: your energy, kind of refocus on you know yourself, and 471 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: make sure you're not getting into a negative loop or 472 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 1: buying into the fear. Regrouping almost and then going. 473 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:53,120 Speaker 3: Back in, going back in with all high vibes exactly. 474 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,439 Speaker 3: And I'll lucky to ask question, and I think this 475 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 3: is a great carry on from that one. Actually, so 476 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,239 Speaker 3: last year I did the Rise and Conquer project and 477 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 3: it truly changed my life. I'm now working a lot 478 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 3: and thriving off of it. However, a very close friend 479 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 3: of mine feels neglected as I often reject her friend 480 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,719 Speaker 3: calls or don't meet up with her as much as 481 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,359 Speaker 3: I used to. This is due to work or just 482 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 3: wanting to meditate and rechart. I explained that I still 483 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,400 Speaker 3: value her friendship and we meet up once a month 484 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,880 Speaker 3: and still talk a lot on the phone. However, it's 485 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:29,840 Speaker 3: not enough for her. My question is, how do I 486 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,679 Speaker 3: know whether my friend is asking for too much of 487 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 3: me or whether I'm being ignorant and selfish. M As 488 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,959 Speaker 3: an introvert who is into self development. 489 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 2: Tell us how you really feel. I think once a 490 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 2: month is a lot. 491 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:48,159 Speaker 1: How my Jesus, it's a consistent friendship, is it? 492 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? I don't know. I like that. 493 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,200 Speaker 2: Does it sounds great to me at all? That's very consistent. 494 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. 495 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 1: I don't think you're being ignorant or selfish. Like I 496 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,119 Speaker 1: think it's great that your you know in your boundaries. 497 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: I think we apologize for our boundaries so much because 498 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 1: we have bought into this thing of we should be 499 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: people please this or we should please everyone, because all 500 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 1: you can see here is like she's just wanting to 501 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 1: be pleased. She's like, well I need this, and so 502 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,360 Speaker 1: I need you to be this person. And she's going, well, 503 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 1: I can't be that person. I need to be this person. Yeah, 504 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,159 Speaker 1: and that's what the clash is. Yeah, And I just 505 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,880 Speaker 1: think she's got strong boundaries and I love her for it, 506 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,760 Speaker 1: mean too, like she set the boundaries. She's like, look, 507 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: we talk on the phone. I declined you call sometimes, 508 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 1: but that's fine. I personally decline everyone's calls. You're very 509 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: lucky if we speak on the phone. Guys, literally, we'll 510 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 1: be like in the podcast room. And I'm like Tim 511 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: calls and he starts talking, and I'm like, Tim, could 512 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: this have been a text message every phone call? 513 00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 3: Because I hate. 514 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 2: Talking on the phone. 515 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 1: I just think it's such a waste of energy sometimes. 516 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 1: But sorry, back to it, Ah, I like, I. 517 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 2: Think it's so fine. 518 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 1: I think you're not being selfish or ignorant, and I 519 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,679 Speaker 1: don't think this friend is understanding. 520 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think from what we've heard from this side 521 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 3: of the story, I do agree that I don't think 522 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 3: she's being ignorant or selfish, but I'm always conscious that 523 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,439 Speaker 3: sometimes when you hear it from the other side, it 524 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 3: can be told a different way. So I would say, 525 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,719 Speaker 3: maybe have a proper sit down with your friend and 526 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 3: actually chat about this to her. And this it's probably 527 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,400 Speaker 3: quite common when people start going on their self development 528 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 3: journey because you learn how much time you need to 529 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 3: yourself in order to look inward and work on yourself, 530 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,440 Speaker 3: and people who aren't doing that don't understand it quite yet, 531 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 3: and so you need to just sort of maybe try 532 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,920 Speaker 3: and explain that to her or open her eyes to it, 533 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 3: because it's almost like an extra lot of not homework, 534 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 3: but almost like you have to do like an assignment 535 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 3: a week, but it's on yourself. Yeah, and she might 536 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 3: not be factoring that in or understanding that as much. 537 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: And also it'd be interesting to know, for instance, before 538 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,439 Speaker 1: this where they see each other every day or you know, 539 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 1: because us being like once a month, that seems we 540 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 1: don't really see our friends exactly, So that's kind of interesting. 541 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,919 Speaker 1: And in saying that, I love that she's like, you know, 542 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,400 Speaker 1: not meeting up with her as much due to work 543 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: or just wanting to meditate and reach out and that's 544 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,239 Speaker 1: literally me to a t, Like, if I've got some 545 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: spare time, if Tim's taking Ivy somewhere, I couldn't think 546 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,600 Speaker 1: of anything better than just being by myself to meditate 547 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: and recharge. Yeah, So I feel for this person, whereas 548 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 1: they know a lot of other people they'd be like, 549 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 1: what the fuck, why can't you just see me sort 550 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 1: of thing exactly. 551 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 3: And I think just even looking at the frequency of 552 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,159 Speaker 3: what you're doing, when like, are you consistently rejecting her 553 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,879 Speaker 3: and then hanging her out with her once and then 554 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 3: consistently rejecting her again, because maybe that's where that feeling 555 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,600 Speaker 3: comes from, rather than you actually not not seeing her 556 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 3: as much. So looking at this from the other side, 557 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 3: because I feel like I've experienced something a bit sick 558 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 3: in the past where I had a friend that got 559 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,119 Speaker 3: so into self development and got so strict with her 560 00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:09,120 Speaker 3: boundaries that she like always canceled, and it felt like shit. 561 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: See, but I almost think if you're so strict of 562 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: your boundaries that you always cancel, like get strict of 563 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,360 Speaker 1: like knowing to plan in. 564 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 2: The first way. 565 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, And because if you just always cancel, you're just 566 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,000 Speaker 1: a bit of a shit frind. Yeah, I can exactly, 567 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: And I think sometimes as important as it is to 568 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 1: conserve your own energy, you need to think about those 569 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,719 Speaker 1: around you and you have to feed was her wording, 570 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 1: Literally to conserve my energy. 571 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,239 Speaker 3: She's like, I'm just really drained and tired and I 572 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 3: need to recharge and like. 573 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: All that jazz, like one hundred percent. I get it sometimes, 574 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,720 Speaker 1: but if you consistently canceling, it's like, maybe don't agree 575 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: to the plans because you're hurting my feelings exactly. 576 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 3: And the thing I do is that I'll just have 577 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 3: times of the week that I know that I will 578 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 3: go see someone and times the week where I know 579 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 3: that I'm not gonna want to do it, so I 580 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,880 Speaker 3: don't put a plan in there, like Sunday afternoon. Never 581 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 3: plan anything for a something it never gonna happen. 582 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's anything with you on a Sunday. Yeah, it 583 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 2: was never gonna happen. 584 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:09,120 Speaker 3: It's like, if it's on a Sunday, I'm always like it, 585 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 3: praying that they message me. It's so fine. But now 586 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 3: I just don't put anything on a Sunday. Yeah, And 587 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 3: I think maybe just looking at it that way and 588 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 3: telling your friend that like, hey, these are my times 589 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 3: where I'm busy recharging. 590 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: But so my time's a Monday to Sunday that I'm busy. 591 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,280 Speaker 3: But that's also a really good way to objectively look 592 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 3: at it and go, oh, I've got no time here 593 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 3: in the week that i actually want to see people. 594 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 3: Maybe I need to fix that. Like, if you don't 595 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 3: want to see people from a Monday to a Sunday 596 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,360 Speaker 3: and there's always something else you should be doing. 597 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 1: Maybe it's the person. 598 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 3: Maybe that's true, but I think also as well, it's 599 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 3: like introverts. You can have great friends that fill up 600 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 3: your cup, but it's still energy that you're using to 601 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 3: go out. So just being aware of what it is 602 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 3: and that's that. 603 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 2: It is what it is. Thanks for listening, guys, see 604 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:11,240 Speaker 2: you next time. 605 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:20,240 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of 606 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and 607 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,840 Speaker 1: want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer 608 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a Rise 609 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 1: and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we 610 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: have a small team, so we do appreciate your time 611 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 1: and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow 612 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 1: or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be 613 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 1: so amazing. 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