Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 2: This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 1: It's Flex and Frooms on Cat. We've had one too
Speaker 1: many situation where a fellow friend, coworker, or acquaintance has
Speaker 1: come to us co hosts, a co host perhaps in
Speaker 1: some instances, has come to us to vet their text messages. Now,
Speaker 1: it is an honor to be asked to vet a
Speaker 1: text message, and I appreciate it more than you know.
Speaker 1: But I want to say, there are some instances where
Speaker 1: you're in a time crunch. You don't have friends to
Speaker 1: lean on in this instance, and you have to rely
Speaker 1: on yourself. So I've come up with a potentially fail
Speaker 1: safe strategy, try and let us know. And if by
Speaker 1: asking me in DMUs Flex and frims on Instagram, now
Speaker 1: you're back to in a text you don't know if
Speaker 1: it's going to land, well, you need to think to yourself,
Speaker 1: what are three ways this text message can be perceived?
Speaker 1: An example coming from rooms.
Speaker 2: So I just like I just went really quickly to
Speaker 2: our podcast page to just like I says, if someone
Speaker 2: in a romantic setting like went to look at our
Speaker 2: show and the last things are like free methinks sexes
Speaker 2: like eggs and how to kick someone out in bed.
Speaker 2: This is the wrong impression, everyone. This is a horrible
Speaker 2: impression and it's not at all the truth.
Speaker 1: What was the question? Flex vetting? Vetting? Here's the thing. So,
Speaker 1: for example, let's say you want to send a text
Speaker 1: to someone you've just been to dinner with and you
Speaker 1: say you said it. The next morning, you say last
Speaker 1: time was actually fun. You think, okay, how do I
Speaker 1: vet this? Are they going to receive this as a
Speaker 1: compliment as I was thinking it wouldn't be fun, but
Speaker 1: it's actually fun? Or Infrums's instance, you're my first hinge date.
Speaker 1: How can that be perceived? Like she doesn't get near it,
Speaker 1: like she's she's not a very effective option. I don't know. Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: but that's the first thing you do. You have to
Speaker 1: see how it can be perceived. If the results are
Speaker 1: overwhelmingly negative, then I would say switch it up.
Speaker 2: My God was saying, don't send it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: However, if you find yourself being like it could go
Speaker 1: either way. This is the way to ensure every single
Speaker 1: text you send lands as intended. You say, the red
Speaker 1: hot thing provides some context.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we know that is something we want to do.
Speaker 2: How do we then vet it to make sure that
Speaker 2: we're doing it the right way? Do you have a process?
Speaker 1: I do have a process. So let's say you want
Speaker 1: to send like a risky test. And I'm not talking
Speaker 1: like sexual risky, just so I mean you're not confident
Speaker 1: or feel comfortable.
Speaker 2: It's risky not riskue.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's risky not risk a right, And so you
Speaker 1: think to yourself, what are three ways this could be interpreted?
Speaker 1: If it's overwhelmingly negative, then switch it up until it's
Speaker 1: overwhelmly positive. To you use yourself as your own barometer.
Speaker 1: Next phase the way to make sure it always lands
Speaker 1: as intended, say the red hot thing. Provide context.
Speaker 2: So this is my first hinge date.
Speaker 1: But no, this is my first hinge date, and I'm
Speaker 1: really excited for it to be cool as opposed to
Speaker 1: me being like, let's say you just say this is
Speaker 1: my first hinge date full stop. What am I saying?
Speaker 1: Is everything? Okay? Why does somebody want you have I
Speaker 1: made the wrong decision. I don't know what it can be.
Speaker 1: But the only reason why I'm saying this is because,
Speaker 1: like I've mentioned before, to be the person with the
Speaker 1: honor of vetting a text. There's nothing like it, babe.
Speaker 1: It's like being a godmom, being an auntie, being the president.
Speaker 1: I'm sure they're equal to but the reality is, if
Speaker 1: we don't train the muscle, we don't build the muscle.
Speaker 1: And what you don't want to be happening is feeling
Speaker 1: like you're in a crisis and a time crunch and
Speaker 1: you can't act on it. And what happens you miss
Speaker 1: all the shots you don't take absolute especially like, if anything,
Speaker 1: the dating context is the most easier. It's the messages
Speaker 1: that exist. Like professionally, I personally find it tricky to
Speaker 1: send professional messages because I'm like, is this coming across? Well,
Speaker 1: not in a professional way, but for example, I'm always
Speaker 1: like to my team, how do I say this in
Speaker 1: a not bitchy way constantly? How do I say this
Speaker 1: in a not bitchy way. How do I say this
Speaker 1: in a way that's like going to feel stern but
Speaker 1: going to come across Well, how do I make this
Speaker 1: concise so I get what I need? How do I
Speaker 1: say that's a terrible idea, but I like this one better.
Speaker 1: And if I don't feel that muscle, then I'm just
Speaker 1: like waiting on people to like, let me know what
Speaker 1: to do, when realistically it's like, okay, if you received
Speaker 1: this grating email, how would you take it?
Speaker 2: Think about it that way. I think about that with email,
Speaker 2: not well, not so much with text, but good to know.
Speaker 1: It is good to know. Turn it all inwards. It's
Speaker 1: an exercise in like mirroring. You are the world pushed
Speaker 1: out everything you do. You are blah blah blah blah
Speaker 1: blahfe circle of life for real ah miss you.
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