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Speaker 1: Quest. Yeah, welcome friends to the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 2: Back in twenty twenty one, I released a new podcast

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Speaker 2: called The Stuff of Legends, and it's a very simple idea.

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Speaker 2: I chat to people, and this is a storytelling show.

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Speaker 2: You know, we share our stories to get your stories.

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Speaker 2: And so I wanted to do something where it wasn't

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Speaker 2: just another guy interviewing comedians and famous people. Wanted it

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Speaker 2: to be where we were going to get stories out

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Speaker 2: of these comedians and interesting people. And so Stuff of

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Speaker 2: Legends is a very simple idea. Each guest just tells

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Speaker 2: me about the three objects, the three things in their

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Speaker 2: life that really mean something to them, and it's not

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Speaker 2: about how much they're worth. It's nothing to do with that.

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Speaker 2: So the first season, which has came out two years ago,

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Speaker 2: I had some brilliant people, Ricky Gervais, Russell Brand, Matthew McConaughey,

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Speaker 2: Hamish Blake. It is back and we've got some great

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Speaker 2: ones lined up. Kicking off with Hollywood star Jamila Jamil.

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Speaker 3: I love to chat with her.

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Speaker 2: It's quite a different kind of chat, but really really

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Speaker 2: jaw dropping. I would say, actually, some of the stuff

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Speaker 2: we got into the great thing about when you ask

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Speaker 2: people about the things in their life, they start to

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Speaker 2: share these stories that they haven't normally shared before, because

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Speaker 2: you know what it's like if you're flicking up and

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Speaker 2: down the radio dial here that the people being interviewed

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Speaker 2: sharing the same stories. There's none of that anyway. First

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Speaker 2: episode is out now wherever you get your podcasts. Jamila Jamil.

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Speaker 2: You might have seen her in The Brilliant Good Place

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Speaker 2: or She Hulk. She has an incredible energy and lust

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Speaker 2: for life, a man alive. One of the stories that

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Speaker 2: she wasn't even going to tell us at the beginning

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Speaker 2: is unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: I hope you enjoy. It's got the stuff of legends.

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Speaker 2: Out now on the iHeart app or wherever you get

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Speaker 2: your podcasts.

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Speaker 4: I've been with my boyfriend for eight years and he

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Speaker 4: knows he's had to come to accept at this point.

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Speaker 4: I just want meals, like I really like that. That

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Speaker 4: is the only thing that moves me. Food is love.

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Speaker 4: It's very South Asian of me, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But it's what you're giving someone then if you're going

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Speaker 2: out for food, because some of your best conversations in

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Speaker 2: life are over and meal, aren't they. And it isn't

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Speaker 2: just about the core the food. It's about so much

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Speaker 2: more than that. You're giving them an amazing experience when

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Speaker 2: you go out and have a really great meal with

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Speaker 2: good company.

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Speaker 3: Right, yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 4: I think I live from experience to experience. I'm very

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Speaker 4: kind of focused on what if. I know this sounds

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Speaker 4: really dark, but what if I die today? And so

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Speaker 4: that gives me this kind of drive to do exactly

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Speaker 4: what I want every single day and to make the

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Speaker 4: most of every conversation, every meal. It's made me quite

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Speaker 4: a cutthroat person.

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Speaker 3: I don't think about what I wear.

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Speaker 4: Because you know your your ghost is going to be

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Speaker 4: wearing whatever you've died in forever, in perpetuity. So I'm

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Speaker 4: very thoughtful about that. If I haunt people, you know,

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Speaker 4: I want to look chic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's dark inside.

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Speaker 2: You're right, Hollywood start Jamila Jamial, have a listen and

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Speaker 2: if you like what you hear, can hear all the

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Speaker 2: old episodes as well.

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Speaker 3: Stuff of Legends.

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Speaker 2: Wherever you get your podcasts, hit follow so you can

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Speaker 2: ensure the rest of this season.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 2: You have to be honest with you, right, you ever

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Speaker 2: do this sometimes if Bianca's out, your order a takeaway

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Speaker 2: and then destroy the evidence.

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Speaker 5: Yes, definitely, I've been to neighbors bins before the pass.

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Speaker 3: What I was last night.

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Speaker 2: Shout out John and Judy. Sometimes you got to take

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Speaker 2: one for the team. Yeah, my wife went out yesterday evening.

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Speaker 2: She's back diving because now people can. She wanted to

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Speaker 2: night dive yesterday. I can't even imagine how courageous and braves.

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Speaker 5: What do you want to see in the middle of

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Speaker 5: the night.

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Speaker 2: I don't think of anything more terrifying than going diving anyway,

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Speaker 2: I'm all the hardest part everyone knows about diving is snorkeling,

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Speaker 2: and that's where I am up top.

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Speaker 3: My wife loves to dive, but.

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Speaker 2: Yesterday she went on a night dive, and I can't

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Speaker 2: imagine how terrifying that would be. Going underwater at night time.

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Speaker 5: And when they do the count on the boat at

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Speaker 5: the end, it's very hard to see people, so easy

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Speaker 5: to leave somebody stranded out in the ocean.

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Speaker 2: She rang me yesterday just to assure me that she

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Speaker 2: was alive. And I have to be honest, I was

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Speaker 2: watching TV and I kind of forgot where she was.

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Speaker 3: So you'd been underwater and you back up? What did

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Speaker 3: you see? She saw some Port Jackson's.

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Speaker 5: What's that?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I just went, oh great, is that a place she went?

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Speaker 5: Maybe for I know it.

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Speaker 3: Wasn't a place.

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Speaker 2: She was in Blair, Gary, somewhere around Blair Gary. But

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Speaker 2: she saw some Port Jackson's. Is that a type of

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Speaker 2: friendly shark?

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Speaker 5: Is it?

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Speaker 3: Is that? What it is?

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Speaker 2: At least later I can go, I can follow up,

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Speaker 2: like I knew I was talking about. You see, how

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Speaker 2: about those PJ sharks, the old.

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Speaker 3: Port Jacko's, you know, yeah, wonderful stuff.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, she was out yesterday and the kids was

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Speaker 2: still didn't come home from school, and so she said, look,

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Speaker 2: make a salad for you and the kids. So I

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Speaker 2: made the salad for the kids. I thought, I don't

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Speaker 2: need to eat a salad because I were grown up.

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Speaker 2: Ordered a Domino's takeaway underrated Pizza's. Dominoes they do this

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Speaker 2: new thing now, Jackie boy, and next to topping. It's

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Speaker 2: called a parmesan swirl.

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Speaker 5: Okay, just extra cheese.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, melted cheese, And they do the swirl of it

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Speaker 2: sort of over the whole pizza, just a light swell

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Speaker 2: as a topping. Can't recommend it enough anytime next time

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Speaker 2: you get your Dominoes, got Domino's pizza right, ate it

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Speaker 2: like that, like I was terrified that.

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Speaker 3: She's going to come back at any moment.

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Speaker 2: And then, because it was Binda yesterday evening, an abundance of.

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Speaker 3: Of bins to spread the evidence into be honest.

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Speaker 5: And you get away Scott perfect.

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Speaker 3: So good, so good.

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Speaker 2: I felt so great last night watching it, and then

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Speaker 2: watched Escape to Victory from nineteen eighty one, set in

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Speaker 2: the Second World War, Who's who of football all over

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Speaker 2: the world with Pele and Bobby Moore and then you've

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Speaker 2: got Michael Kaine, Sylvester Stallone. They are prisoners of war

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Speaker 2: who have to play a game against Germany and the

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Speaker 2: Third Reich, and then they hatch a plan. As if

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Speaker 2: that's not exciting enough to escape as prisoners of war,

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Speaker 2: isn't it good at all?

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Speaker 3: It's a movie.

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Speaker 5: It's a great sports film and a great war film

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Speaker 5: at the same time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I absolutely love watching that.

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Speaker 1: Yesterday evening the Christian O'Connell show podcast Let's Go to America,

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Speaker 1: where there's an amazing story about Toddler.

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Speaker 3: A little toddler managined.

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Speaker 2: To break into probably one of the most secured and

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Speaker 2: guarded places in the world.

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Speaker 3: The White House.

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Speaker 6: Had Toddler squeezed through the metal fencing and started making

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Speaker 6: his way towards the north lawn while his parents watched

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Speaker 6: from Pennsylvan Avenue. Secret Service agents quickly scooped him up

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Speaker 6: and then brought him to his parents.

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Speaker 3: This is amazing.

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Speaker 2: I mean, why have gaps then if I'm a terrorist.

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Speaker 2: Right now, I'm watching news and I know what I'm doing.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to a load of like preschool things and

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Speaker 2: I'm recruiting those kids. I believe that babies can be

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Speaker 2: radicalized very easily. If you said, Lisia, you can have

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Speaker 2: unlimited supply of sugar, which is needs.

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Speaker 3: You just crawled through the gates.

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Speaker 5: That's why the baby should have been punished harder. And

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Speaker 5: that's the problem with as President Trump.

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Speaker 2: Would lot would lock them up, seriously, a baby prison somewhere.

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Speaker 2: One of our favorite phoners which we weren't sure I

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Speaker 2: was going to work, but did work about babies doing damage.

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Speaker 2: When we first became parents, it was two thousand and four,

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Speaker 2: and so I remember used to just it was all

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Speaker 2: videos vhs and these were back in the day. Amazing, right,

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Speaker 2: and so we'll get a little bit quiet in the

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Speaker 2: morning when you've been up so early, like at the

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Speaker 2: weekend of those early couple of years Partsy where they're

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Speaker 2: awake right half sleeping.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And of course on the week I would go, I've

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Speaker 2: got to do it breakfast shot. You have to do

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Speaker 2: all the hard work for five days, and then the weekends.

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Speaker 2: Oh damn it, half five and I'm pretending to be asleep.

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Speaker 2: Ses my wife's going, I know you're away.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the bed. You can at least do two shifts.

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Speaker 3: So I would go, right, where's that old VH raise

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Speaker 3: my video cassette my kids?

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Speaker 2: Anyway, it wouldn't go in, and I couldn't work out

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Speaker 2: what was and I would put my hand and see

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Speaker 2: what was in them with someone jammed in it. There

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Speaker 2: was an old, stale bit of toast that didn't have

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Speaker 2: jam on it, and the sugar obviously dried into all

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Speaker 2: the Lisa knackered this VHS.

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Speaker 3: But I remember almost crying, like.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go and buy a new and sorry is

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Speaker 2: that there's nothing open now for a new video.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to get down on my hands and knees.

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Speaker 3: At six a m. On a Sunday and play with plaster, seen.

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Speaker 2: People and felt all right, So Toddler's gone wild.

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Speaker 3: I thought would be on safe ground with Toddler stories. Right,

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Speaker 3: How the extreme can they be on the phone system

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Speaker 3: we have here? Right?

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Speaker 2: The producers label up just like you know, great energy

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Speaker 2: or whatever. Here's what I'm looking at now. So there's

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Speaker 2: ten lines going Line seven Toddler, no Alison, Line eight, no,

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Speaker 2: line nine, no, line four, no, line six. No are

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Speaker 2: they doing major crimes? What are these Toddler's doing here

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Speaker 2: in Australia?

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Speaker 5: I spoke to line nine. There was a painting with

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Speaker 5: their own pooh.

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Speaker 3: That's the sort of thing you put straight through. You've

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Speaker 3: got guns from the churing, like, all right, let's go

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Speaker 3: to Maria. She's one the rare few. Yes, is Maria?

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Speaker 7: Hi?

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Speaker 8: Christian and Tim? How are you will go?

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Speaker 3: Maria? So Toddler damage? What happened?

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Speaker 8: So when my youngest daughter was about two, I was

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Speaker 8: holding her at the ATM outside the bank. Just as

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Speaker 8: the card pops back out, quit as anything like a magician.

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Speaker 8: She just grabbed that card and it fell out of

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Speaker 8: her hands straight into the little middle bean that the receipt.

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Speaker 8: It was locked right in the like protection, like it

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Speaker 8: was planned. I never saw my card again. I just

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Speaker 8: wanted to store what I wanted to do, and I

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Speaker 8: had to ring up and say that I knew my

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Speaker 8: card wasn't lost. I knew where it was, but I

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Speaker 8: had to report it as well.

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Speaker 3: There's not a phone number for that lost brackets.

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Speaker 5: You know where it is, just out the front, you

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Speaker 5: walk out side.

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Speaker 3: It was precision, Maria, Thank you very much your story.

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Speaker 1: No, thank you.

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Speaker 2: That was lovely and that's why that's a yes. All right,

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Speaker 2: let's see I you've got any more yeses.

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Speaker 1: The Christian O'Connell show podcast Christian.

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Speaker 2: When my son was too my husband fell asleep in

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Speaker 2: the couch. How many stories there are about the dad

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Speaker 2: falling asleep and then c mischief. My husband fell asleep

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Speaker 2: on the couch, so my son thought it was a

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Speaker 2: great opportunity to get up to mischief. He climbed over

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Speaker 2: the couch and baby played and grabbed the super green,

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Speaker 2: climbed back.

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Speaker 3: Onto the couch, opened up the tub. Do you.

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Speaker 2: Tubs, smered the whole content of the container, painted himself,

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Speaker 2: his hair, the couch, the carpet, the little kids count

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Speaker 2: She covered from head to tell it.

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Speaker 3: It took forever to get that stuff up.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy. Yeah, so greasy, Bob. Yes, thanks to go

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Speaker 2: on the show. Tell us about toddler damage. What happened, Well,

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Speaker 2: my mum.

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Speaker 9: Was looking after my eighteen month old son at the time,

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Speaker 9: and he decided to crawl up to his great grandmother's

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Speaker 9: wheelchair and discreetly let the break off and push her

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Speaker 9: down the driveway.

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Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa what there's toddler damage and

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Speaker 2: there's attempted I.

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Speaker 3: Mean what.

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Speaker 9: Years. Fortunately, my mum was on the ball and quite

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Speaker 9: quick on her feet, and she got to Great Rennie

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Speaker 9: before Great Brannie got to the concrete.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that is that could have ended up a very

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Speaker 3: different kind.

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Speaker 9: Of story, absolutely, Bob.

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Speaker 2: We've we've heard some stories of toddler damage, but that

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Speaker 2: is something else then the break.

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Speaker 9: Yes, and he's now twenty three years old, and unfortunately

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Speaker 9: he's great my mother. He isn't still with us, but

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Speaker 9: he hasn't leaved that story down to these days.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to ask how she passed away, just

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Speaker 3: in case you yes, no, no.

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Speaker 9: It was natural causes.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Bob, thank you, it's his story. There's to her

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Speaker 2: phone in one day, Natural Causes, Roseanne. Good morning, Good morning, Rosanne.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the show. Toddler Damage.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, my three year old son was so proud that

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Speaker 7: he could go to the toilet on his own. I

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Speaker 7: was at a private house teaching the daughter dancing. The

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Speaker 7: mother was supposed to be looking after him, and so

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Speaker 7: he went to the toilet and he thought he was

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Speaker 7: so proud he could do it on his own now.

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Speaker 7: But instead of doing it in the toilet, he peed

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Speaker 7: in the b day and decided that after doing that

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Speaker 7: he needed to flush, So he turned the tap on

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Speaker 7: instead of pushing the button, of course, and he ended

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Speaker 7: up flooding the whole bathroom, the whole room next to

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Speaker 7: including a job many thousand dollars Persian.

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Speaker 2: Rugs, rugs, and then there's persian rugs.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, and I didn't know anything about it until the

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Speaker 7: lesson was over and the mother told me, and yeah, well.

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Speaker 2: You're teaching that kid dancing. You know, he trying to

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Speaker 2: did the moonwalk, and next thing you know, it's on water,

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Speaker 2: anything but the.

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Speaker 7: Persian rug Yeah here he's Yeah, the whole place was flooded.

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Speaker 3: A nightmare, all right, Razan, thanks your story.

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Speaker 7: Okay, Vicky.

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Speaker 1: Good morning, Good morning, Christian.

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Speaker 10: How are you?

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Speaker 3: Vicky Toddler damaged? Vicky, what's your story?

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Speaker 11: Back in the day, when abay was pretty new and

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Speaker 11: I was new to eBay, I was bidding on beanie

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Speaker 11: kids for my daughter, who is about two. Left the

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Speaker 11: room for a minute, came back, and she'd put over

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Speaker 11: a million dollar bid into the beanie kid.

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Speaker 2: Well that's not that bite now for any one these

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Speaker 2: beanie babies.

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Speaker 11: Oh my god, it was I freaked out.

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Speaker 3: So what happened? You end up paying the money?

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Speaker 11: It turned out after panicking and trying to contact Debay,

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Speaker 11: which is really difficult, turned out it was my maximum bid,

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Speaker 11: So I'd already beid like ten dollars, but I thought

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Speaker 11: I was up for a million.

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Speaker 7: I was calling my husband.

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Speaker 11: I was freaking out.

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Speaker 7: I'm talking to take out.

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Speaker 2: Another mortgage to get these beanie babies.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you very much the story, Vicky. Have a

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Speaker 3: good day. Thanks to go on the show to see you, Christian.

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Speaker 10: Bye.

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Speaker 3: Hello, Jane, Hi, Chris here you're going I'm good. Yeah, Jane,

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Speaker 3: what's your Toddler story?

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Speaker 10: Eighteen months old, little boy just started to take a

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Speaker 10: wooden hammer to our new smart TV was watching something

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Speaker 10: happen in slow motion. And to this day we still

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Speaker 10: are using the old TV because we haven't quite been

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Speaker 10: hour to get to buying a new one.

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Speaker 3: So what is it a crack screen that you've got?

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Speaker 10: Yeah, so just right down the middle there was a

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Speaker 10: big crack and then yeah, you could you couldn't use

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Speaker 10: the TV. It was quite frustrating to say the least.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, why do they give kids wooden mallets and stuff?

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Speaker 2: They're only going to break.

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Speaker 3: Something with it.

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Speaker 10: I know, I know. And yes, you can't be over

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Speaker 10: them with the arms reach all the time. So anyway,

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Speaker 10: it's a story to tell.

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Speaker 3: It is, and you shared it with us. Thank you

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Speaker 3: very much. Jane, have a good day.

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Speaker 1: The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 2: Tatsy was at the supermarket yesterday and it spotted something

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Speaker 2: about the supermarket that I think drives us all nuts.

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Speaker 12: What is it about the deli at the supermarket? It

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Speaker 12: offers you the best of the world and also, yeah,

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Speaker 12: the worst of the world, Like it's just a corner

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Speaker 12: copier of goodness.

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Speaker 2: Now, Patsy's right, it's the it's the best, and so's

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Speaker 2: the food of the world with the worst of humanity.

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Speaker 12: Yeah, it really is why do people have to take

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Speaker 12: so long?

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Speaker 2: Oh God, wandering up and out there having a little

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Speaker 2: walk in and look seeing a nibble on this.

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Speaker 5: I know why because when you wait for your turn,

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Speaker 5: and it's your turn, you feel like, all right, now

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Speaker 5: it's my show.

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Speaker 2: No, you know what you want, you order it, you

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Speaker 2: get off in, get out, wondering on your time. When

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Speaker 2: is ticket time? It's like jumping out of an airplying

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Speaker 2: it's go time. Okay, you don't start hanging around there

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Speaker 2: taking photos.

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Speaker 12: Free you know the tomatoes? What was it that this

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Speaker 12: happened to me yesterday? And I'm also one of those

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Speaker 12: people that I don't go in grammich. I'm not good

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Speaker 12: with numbers, so I won't say give me two fifty

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Speaker 12: grams if you triple smoked ham play.

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Speaker 3: I'm not professional butcher, none of us are very good

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Speaker 3: at that.

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Speaker 12: I'll be like, just give me a fistfull. Oh I

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Speaker 12: give me.

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Speaker 3: Saying that.

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Speaker 5: Get your mind out of the gutter. But I'm very

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Speaker 5: it's not tasty as well. It doesn't make this.

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Speaker 12: Get But also with the cabana, I cut to the

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Speaker 12: chase because they always say, oh is it okay? If

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Speaker 12: I breaking, I say it's I'll have two sticks to

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Speaker 12: cabana and you can break it. That's fine, Like I cut.

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Speaker 3: The chase becoming Italian to the chase.

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Speaker 12: But there's protocols that have to be adhered to at

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Speaker 12: the deli.

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Speaker 5: Not enough people do. Well, you would hate this then?

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Speaker 5: Do you had the injustice of people taking your turn?

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Speaker 5: Because no one up in the road, no one uses

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Speaker 5: the number system they have it there.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, in the UK, well, you know we love

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Speaker 2: a queue that is that's punishable with prison time you

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Speaker 2: start Q jumping.

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Speaker 3: You haven't got the little number we use the number you.

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Speaker 5: Might as well be picking rubbish off the ground. No

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Speaker 5: one's using that.

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Speaker 2: They don't hear. They don't recognize a numb thing. Here's

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Speaker 2: what I think they should do. The moment you go

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Speaker 2: forward and your case is now active, right, there should

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Speaker 2: be a down.

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Speaker 3: Lights change.

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Speaker 2: Suit okay, and it's thirty seconds and starts and then

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Speaker 2: like the oscars, their music plays off the lights change,

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Speaker 2: you go, they start talking to the next person behind you.

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Speaker 5: You want the soup Natti from sign Ye.

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Speaker 1: Nazis the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 2: Have you still got that camera that you had to

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Speaker 2: keep an eye lunar your dog when she was going

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Speaker 2: on a kitchen top. Yes, I need to borrow this week.

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Speaker 2: Someone is letting their dog take a dump on my

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Speaker 2: nature stroke right. This happens about every five or six days,

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Speaker 2: and fortunate yesterday one the kids trodden it and walked

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Speaker 2: it through the house. Do you know when you can

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Speaker 2: smell dog crap and you know it's on someone's shoes

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Speaker 2: as soon as you can smell it in.

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Speaker 3: The house, someone's walked dog crap into the house.

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Speaker 5: The first thing you do is check your feet.

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Speaker 2: You're like, oh, yes, it's one of the teenagers on

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Speaker 2: the Solivar trainer, And I said, I'll get it out.

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Speaker 2: Have a half an to get that stuff right in

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Speaker 2: the groove.

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Speaker 3: Just want to burn the shoes. It's horrible. No, no,

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Speaker 3: one haven't got an old toothbrush. I was like scrubbing it,

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Speaker 3: trying to get it out like that.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, this happens every five or six stays, and it's

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Speaker 2: got to be someone local. You're not driving outside my

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Speaker 2: house unless you got really don't like the red You've

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Speaker 2: got a real ventetta against me. When so it's got

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Speaker 2: in their diary, it's time to.

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Speaker 3: Get in the car. Kids go and take another dump

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Speaker 3: on his lawn. Hopefully soon he's going to get the message.

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Speaker 5: There's people in our street who put up aggressive notes.

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Speaker 5: I'm not sure how well it works, but taped around

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Speaker 5: the telegraph pole it says please do not let your

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Speaker 5: dog poo here anymore. Somebody has even put up a

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Speaker 5: little dog poo bin to say, hey, don't let your

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Speaker 5: dog pooh hit here anymore, and put up.

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Speaker 3: An gusting if you've got dogs, right, we've got dogs.

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Speaker 2: You can't tend for what without the poo bags got

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Speaker 2: to take the poobo away.

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Speaker 5: And so I always feel like the people who leave

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Speaker 5: it must have those big like Burmese dogs, because they're

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Speaker 5: always the size of like a horsepoo.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. No, there's there's a lot of who out the

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Speaker 3: front there, right, it's terrible.

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Speaker 2: My wife has said we need to get some signs

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Speaker 2: made up that says I'm watching you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I said that might be too aggressive, and we can't

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Speaker 2: get any more aggressive than letting their dog. It's the

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Speaker 2: second or third time it's happened. Crap on our nature strip.

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Speaker 5: Let's put the camera up.

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Speaker 2: I want to put the camera up because I'm Gary.

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Speaker 2: I think I know who it might be someone around

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Speaker 2: the corner. I think I know who it is, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: I need your camera well.

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Speaker 1: Christian Connell's Show podcast