WEBVTT - FULL SHOW: Lola & The Dummy Fairy 🧚 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:12.840 Laura. 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:20.120 Come on, there you go the week? Have you hump 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:20.840 day ladies? 0:00:20.960 --> 0:00:23.840 Hello everybody, how's your week in so far? 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:24.200 Mitch? 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:28.160 Oh good, I binge that Martha docu series on Netflix. 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:32.280 Stewart, who doesn't know it's so good? 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:34.400 Listen, hot take. I love Martha. 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:36.559 Like, yes, she's a narcissist. She might have been a 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:38.960 bit evil, but I am full on team Martha. 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:39.360 Stewart. 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.239 Well, she's like a narcissist that you kind of then 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:44.920 you kind of fall in love with by the end, right, Yeah, yeah, 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:48.440 and I think she also she's also softened. Prison softened her. 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:50.160 I don't think it softened her at all. 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:52.360 I think it's made her harder. Okay, did you not 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.160 see the bit it's come out recently. So she was 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:56.400 talking about a journalist who wrote some really horrible things 0:00:56.400 --> 0:00:58.440 about her, and then she said, well, thank god that 0:00:58.520 --> 0:00:59.320 journalist is dead. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:01.440 Now, Oh this is the moment. Yeah, this is from 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:02.080 the docu series. 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:04.280 This is when she went to prison and the journalist 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:06.200 was writing mean headlines of horrible headlines. 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:06.640 Yeah. 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:10.880 New York Post lady was there just looking so smug. 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:15.000 She had written horrible things during the entire trial. She's 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:17.120 dead now, I thank goodness, and she doesn't have to 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:19.120 nobody has to put up with that crap that she 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:20.199 was reading all the tile. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.119 So the journalist came out and was like, I am 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:26.360 not dead, Martha. She used some choice words that we 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:28.120 can't put on the radio at three o'clock, but yeah, 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:28.880 she's not dead. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:31.119 But then Martha came out again and was like, yeah, 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:32.560 I know, I just wanted to tell people she was dead. 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:35.800 She did doubled down. Yeah, but I also think, like Martha, 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.320 if Martha says you're dead, you should just lay down 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:40.000 and pretend to be dead, because this is a woman 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:42.280 who knows what she's talking about. I'm sorry. I think 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:45.160 he's right, you're dead. It's more metaphorically she's dead. 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:46.800 Hey, next, get this. 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:50.480 It has been revealed which celebrity Elon Musk has made cry. 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:53.320 There were rumors that Elon Musk made a very famous 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:55.760 comedian cry and we didn't know who it was, and 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:57.040 now we finally. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:00.000 I wonder who try to figure it out? 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:01.440 I have no I really want. We could go on 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:03.440 for hours. Give me a couple songs and I'll tell you. 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:05.160 All right, wait, all right, we're going to pick up 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.959 Happy Wednesday. Everyone it's the middle of the week. We've 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:09.839 got to do this. 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:12.400 You can't down. 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:14.760 Pick up, put down is where I bring Britain Laura 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:16.960 the big news stories of the day or the week, 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:18.680 and they decide if we pick them up as if 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:20.440 we keep talking about them because they're just that hot, 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:22.680 or we put them down we stop talking about them 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:24.000 because they're just so not It's. 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:25.440 All the things that people have been talking about today 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:26.320 at the office, right. 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.959 Yeah, Oh my god, huge news. So pick up, put down, ladies. 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:32.720 First story, Elon Musk making a bunch of Saturday Night 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:34.880 Live cast members cry. 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.280 Not shocked, but obviously put it down. I know nothing 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:43.280 about this, so I can't pick it up or put 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:43.560 it down. 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:45.680 It's been a big story for about a year here. 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:47.560 He hosted well over a year ago. This is before 0:02:47.600 --> 0:02:49.280 he was kind of like pro Trump. He was kind 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:50.840 of cool tech genius billionaires. 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.359 Ever, yeah he was. There was a period where he was. 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:56.520 It was with Grimes, Yeah, yes, yes, yeah. 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:59.080 He hosted SNL and after that a whole bunch of 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:01.480 cast members came out and said, oh my god, you 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:03.200 know there was one host that's made his cry but 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:04.839 will never tell you, who will never tell you who 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:08.720 now that he's pro Trump and they hype Trump. They've 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:11.320 come out and revealed that it's him, but also the 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:13.480 celebrity that he made cry has owned up to it, 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:15.480 have listened to these it's Chloe Finemans. 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:18.560 I'm going to come out and say at long last 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:22.440 that I'm the cast member that he made cry and 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:25.200 he's the host that made someone cry. You're going to 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:29.480 like go on your platform and be rude, like, guess 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:35.240 what you made I Chloe Feineman burst into tears because 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:37.280 I stayed up all night writing this sketch. 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:38.640 I was so excited. 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.480 I came in. I asked if you had any questions, and. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.000 You stared at me like you were firing me from 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:47.640 Tesla and were like, it's not funny. 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:51.840 Oh, I don't know, Like, what do you get out 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:54.040 of adding him a year later, except just like trying 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:54.640 to get a one up? 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:54.800 Now? 0:03:54.920 --> 0:03:56.839 I agree. I'll never tell you, guys when your jokes 0:03:56.840 --> 0:03:57.280 sound funny. 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.920 You always fell us, and I never tell you when 0:03:59.920 --> 0:04:01.480 you make me cry, Mitch, but I will one day 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:02.400 because I really. 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:05.720 Make the press cry, pick up, put down, speak of crying. Jesus. 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:08.680 I've seen the footage the Australian men's netball team performing 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:10.600 a dance routine before their game. 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.359 I didn't pick it up. Pick it up? Why can't 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:17.279 they do a dance routine? 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:17.760 I love it. 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:19.760 I was just adding some drama. Actually am all for it. 0:04:19.760 --> 0:04:21.960 The Australian men's netball team didn't even know it existed. 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.800 Has divided fans. On the opening day of netball's Fast 0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:27.720 five series, they lip sunk and syncs bye bye bye. 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.040 Good on the men calling it cringe. 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:33.159 I just think that's called spatus baite. There's no part 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:33.400 of them. 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:34.880 That were like, hey, this will make us play better. 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:36.520 People want a viral moment. 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:38.679 They knew that if they did an end sync dance 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:41.520 together in unison before the game, it would go viral. 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:42.880 That's that's where we're at now, sport. 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.760 Didn't you see the NURL player in America, the huge 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.599 player on the weekend that celebrated his touchdown by doing 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:51.040 the raygun dance. I saw that these are just moments 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:53.880 that people know they can like capitalize on the moment. 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:55.640 Go viral, pick up or put down. 0:04:56.400 --> 0:04:59.320 There's a boss going viral for banning employees from taking 0:04:59.440 --> 0:05:01.000 leave to care for sick kids. 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:07.200 Do put that down. Put that down with a strong 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.279 put down, Throw it down, smash it. Okay, give me 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:10.760 the context. 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:12.960 All right, A box has been slammed for unreasonable note. 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.040 He passed it on an office noticeboard. The note said, 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:17.680 calling out because your child is sick, I mean going 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.599 home sick thinks in America is no longer a valid 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:21.880 excuse to miss work. 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:23.280 And will now result in a write up. 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:25.680 We do not employ your children, and as such, their 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:28.000 sickness is not an excuse for you to miss work. 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:31.440 Go team, Go team. 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.640 That just would not fly in Australia. Like what are 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:37.040 parents supposed to do? Like if you get a call 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.120 up from your daycare or from your school that your 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.120 kid is sick, you have to go and get them. 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:42.919 And this is the thing that every parent has to 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.400 deal with, Like it's just part and parcel that just 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:47.880 for me is infuriating, Like you have a responsibility to 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:49.600 take care of your kids and you need your workplace 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:52.480 to support you. I agree, but I'm going to be 0:05:52.520 --> 0:05:53.520 devil's advocate here. 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:57.200 I understand why an employer could get frustrated if say 0:05:57.200 --> 0:06:00.160 they have four staff that all have kids, and for 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:02.280 a week straight they've all had to go and look 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:05.880 after their kids and the work is not getting anything done. 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:07.600 I understand why someone could be like, well what am 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.160 I gonna do? I'm still trying to run a business. 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.919 But absolutely not you take I mean people aren't just 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:14.760 taking paid leave. There's parameters around how you take your leave. 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:16.640 If it means that you have to take a sick day, 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.120 you have sick days they're there for a reason, or 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:21.560 you have bereavement leave, or you have like care is leave, 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:23.400 Like there are so many different types of leave that 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:25.800 you can and can't take. It's not like someone's just 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:27.719 going I'm an o'clock off early, still pay me for 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.440 the day anyway. That just that's outrageous to me. Yeah, 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:31.160 put that down. 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.440 In Australia, fall and part time employees can take care 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:36.479 as leave paid on family member. 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:38.039 It's allowed and it's good. 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:40.200 Look as they should well look talking about kids, I 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:43.279 am facing my own situation in my household at the 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:46.679 moment with my my daughter Lawla. She's three and let's 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.159 just say she is addicted to something and I don't 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:50.160 know how to break the addiction. 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:51.800 Very early for an addiction. 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:53.800 My brain wanted to say so many things there, but 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:55.640 I'm trying to run a three year old addict. 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:57.440 All right, let's just say but out of puree for 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:59.080 the time. That's next on the show. 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:05.960 Guys, I've gotten myself into a situation. So Lola is 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:08.400 three years old now right, well, she's almost three point five, 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:10.720 oh three point eight, she's going to be four in 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:14.480 February next year. And we kind of missed the boat 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.040 on weaning her off something that most people wean their 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:22.880 kids off when they're a little baby, hard drugs. Never 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:26.720 I was gonna say, like like formula milk. No, look, 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:29.520 Lola still has a dummy. Not all the time, hear 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:31.320 me out. I'm not a terrible parent, but she still 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:33.600 has a dummy at nighttime, and we have tried to 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:35.680 get her off this thing, but she is obsessed. She 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:39.520 is dummy obsessed, unlike any other kid I have ever experienced. 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:42.720 She is obsessed to the point where we tried to 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:45.360 wean her off at last year at Christmas time, and 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:48.440 for six weeks, every single night she just scream cried, 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:50.600 and then I'd have to like lay in bed and 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:52.120 pat her to sleep, and it was a nightmare. So 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:54.920 I was like, have it back. So I broke the 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:56.840 golden rule. The golden rule is that if you wean 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:58.840 your kid off a dummy, you never ever give it back. 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:02.160 You just stay strong. But it didn't stay strong. She 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:04.960 got it back, and now her addiction is even worse. 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:06.200 He's made a grave error. 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:08.640 I'm going to say that coming from someone with no 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:10.920 kids or experience, you've heard. 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:13.320 A yeah, I'm ready to pass immediate judgment and I've 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:15.120 never paid somebody called docs. 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:17.080 No. But look, I mean a lot of people feel 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:19.680 really strongly about this, especially things like dummies and bottles 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:21.480 and everything else, and like there is a time limit 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.440 that kind of goes on, and just like reserve your judgment. 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.200 I know that she should be off it, and we're trying, 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:27.880 Like we're at a point now where we're like, okay, 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.120 you're four years old in February. We need to try 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:31.040 and win you off this thing. 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:31.880 Four years old for. 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:35.240 A dummy, right, wretchy teeth and stuff, and like you 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:36.319 can have speech impediments. 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:38.120 There can be a lot of stuff pushes your teeth out. 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:40.200 Yeah, so it's affecting her speech a little bit. But 0:08:40.240 --> 0:08:46.080 she does have like a mad overbide that's actually just cruel. Okay, no, 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:47.960 it is if you know what's doing it. You've just 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:49.480 got to harden up and do what's best. 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.520 So expensive, in the long run, you're gonna have to 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:53.320 pay races. There's a lot of dental work for her. 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:55.360 Yeah, I know, I know, but I kind of feel 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:57.320 like at the moment, it's been the lesser of two evils, 0:08:57.360 --> 0:08:59.640 and now she's just like something that has become like 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:02.920 a negociation tactic. Anyway, we're doing our best. We are 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:06.760 about to introduce and remind her of the dummy Fairy. 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:08.599 So I think it's time that the dummy Fairy is 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:10.320 going to pay a visit to our house. Now, if 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.080 you're not familiar with the dummy Fairy, the way it 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:15.280 works is the dummy Fairy comes, she collects the dummy 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:17.520 or he collects the dummy as it is in our household, 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.440 and you plant it in the garden and the dummy 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:23.520 Fairy leaves a lollipop or they leave a toy, or 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:25.960 they leave something that's really special and the kid can 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:28.040 choose like what it is that they want. And so 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:30.880 I had this conversation with Lola the other day and 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:32.720 I was like, okay, sweetie, like you know, the dummy 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:34.720 Fairy is coming soon, we're going to do a calendar, 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:36.960 we're going to do a countdown. We're reading a book 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:39.560 about the Dummy Fairy. It's all very, very special, and 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:41.880 she's starting to get excited about the idea about him 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:46.439 coming and leaving her a present. And yesterday she runs 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:48.800 into the bedroom and it's like three o'clock in the morning, 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:51.000 so she's really excited to tell me that something that 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:55.199 she's realized about the Dummy Fairy, and she goes, Mummy, 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:59.520 I figured it out. She's like, if they're dummy fairy 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:04.160 brings me presents, I'm just gonna ask for another dummy 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:08.360 and then cackles with this evil Then you know they're 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:11.960 too smart. It's too old. They can outsmart you. 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:15.280 Like she's your fault man for like setting up those rules. 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:17.520 You could have said anything, the dummy Fairy comes, take 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:19.840 the fairies, and that's good. But you've said she gives 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:22.760 you one gift whatever you was, grant you any wish 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:23.240 in the world. 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.880 I want more dummy. It's less amount of dummy, totally. 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.800 Whatever your heart desires, the kid's heart desires dummies. 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:32.120 This is what she had to say this morning about it. 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:36.640 I thought maybe she'd forget and no, she hasn't gonna 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:41.880 get me on it. She's she's convinced. She's gonna be 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:42.640 sorely disappointed. 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:45.720 I think I can hear you over. Yeah, I'm joking. 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:48.400 I don't know how to negotiate this. I'm just gonna 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.800 have to give us some tough stop negotiating. You don't 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:52.000 negotiate with your child. 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:55.160 We've spoken of so many children psychologists, and they all 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:55.920 say the same thing. 0:10:56.320 --> 0:10:59.000 You set the boundaries and you tell them, or you 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:00.520 can come over and try and put it to bed 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:01.480 when she doesn't have one. 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.320 When I do that, you've got yourself. Sorry, neither of us. 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.439 Oh my god, No, all right, let's move along. Something 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:10.040 I'm more in touch with. Well, I used to be 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:15.679 dating horrific dating stories because we've got a couple of 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:16.720 absolute bangers. 0:11:16.960 --> 0:11:18.880 I went on a date with the robot ones. I'll 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:21.719 save it for next, But I did. I dated a No, 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:23.680 he's a human, but I didn't realize he was half cyborg. 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:25.400 It was a whole thing. I know the what. 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:26.959 I'm so confused. 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:28.680 Yeah, i'll tell you next, don't worry. 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:31.760 I feel like it's that time of year again, at 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:33.319 the end of the year, where everyone comes out of 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:36.400 the woodworks and talks about their worst dates. 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:37.040 Like it's like the. 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.040 Year where everyone reflects back and they're like, you know what, 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:40.000 I'm swearing off dating. 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.199 I'm going single? Yeah, I mean it never gets easier, 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:42.719 I does it. 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:45.520 But there are these internet threads going bonkers where people have. 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:49.079 Been riding in their dates and they're so cooked. I 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:50.240 have listened to one of these. 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:52.880 She told him she was a vegan, and he took 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.199 her out to a steakhouse intentionally. 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.440 When she said, Hey, I'm a vegan, can we go 0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:59.560 somewhere else? He said, nah, a bit of metal? 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:00.000 Do you good? 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:01.480 Oh my god. 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:03.520 I think that was an innuendo there. But if you're 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.440 a vegan, you get invited. I didn't think about that. 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:08.360 She also would still have to eat steak, so he 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:09.040 was still a prick. 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:10.760 But if you're a vegan, why did you even go, 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:12.440 like just say no? Why did you say yes to 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:12.840 the date? 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:14.640 I went on a date once when I was single. 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:16.120 This was years ago when I first came out. It 0:12:16.160 --> 0:12:18.360 was one of my first like guy dates, and I 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:20.080 was dating this guy and we were on the like 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:23.080 an open car park rooftop and he was shivering like 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.240 I'm talking like shivering, and I wanted to get a 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:26.880 look over the city to make a move to kiss him. 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:28.480 And we're looking over the city like, you know, more 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:30.840 fastera and simber, and I like put my arm around him, 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.960 and he was hypothemic. He was shaking and cold to 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.520 the touch, corpse like. And I was like, you're really cold, 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.440 and he's like back to the car, and I was like, 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:39.920 what's wrong? 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:40.880 Is everything right? 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.559 And I've got scoliosis. I've got a metal bean through 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:44.040 my spine. 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:45.760 Oh he was so it was literally freezing from the 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:46.200 inside out. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.800 He's got a metal pole through his body. He's half cyborg. 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:49.679 He froze. 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:53.240 He's not, you know. I went on a date once 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.160 where the guy it was literally a lunch date. 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.920 I'm talking sandwich in the smoothie and the guy made 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.240 me go and get twenty dollars cash from it at 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:02.400 it's insane. 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:04.120 I also went on a dinner date. He invited me 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:07.120 to dinner, then he didn't eat, didn't drink, and then 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:09.839 I paid for it. There's a lot of flogs out there. 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:11.680 I went on a date once and I left to 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:13.240 go to the were at his house and I went 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.240 first date though, and it was he look, it sounds bad, 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:17.959 but he said it was just for dessert, and that's 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:19.839 what I thought it was. Anyway, I went to the 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:22.120 bathroom and I came back out and he was completely 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:25.560 stark naked, and there he was with two apple pies. 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.280 And it was not what I wanted at all. 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:28.240 The dessert. 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:29.440 AI. 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.760 Yeah, but he had it on him. Anyway. 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:34.120 He says, that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. And 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:37.440 he's called reminded you of a horror date story. What 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:38.000 happened to you? 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:40.679 Yeah, I don't know if it's much of a date. 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.319 It's definitely unique. 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:42.959 What is it? 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:46.320 I was on holidays and I met this guy and 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:50.280 he's working his part time summer job hiring out kayaks 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.000 and paddle boards on the side of the river. And 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:53.439 we hit it off and we decided to go for 0:13:53.480 --> 0:14:00.319 a little bit of a paddle downstream. We inevitably started 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:03.680 getting it on on the river bank. What a nice date, 0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:10.280 I know, so romantic, and thankfully for me, it didn't 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.480 last very long because as we wrapped up, he proceeds 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:18.000 to let me know that this whole time, there has 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:19.680 been a brown snake under my head. 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.040 Oh my god, he didn't tell you and he didn't 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:24.480 stop till he was done. 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:27.720 That is so it was very focused. 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:33.760 I can imagine. Yeah, they care. 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:35.400 There was two snakes. There wasn't there was. 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.760 I'm being told, apparently we have your husband, Laura Maddy 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:38.800 Jay who's been listening. 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:39.960 He's dated a lot of women. 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:42.400 He's called the show Maddie Hope, he's not still. 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:45.680 Hello, guys, how are we so well? This is when 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.480 I lived in London. I lived in London for four years, 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.120 just in case anyone was wondering, and I was on 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:52.360 a first day. I met this girl on Tinder. We 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:55.000 met at the pub, and I thought the date was 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.960 going really well, like she was super chatty, super sociable, 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.640 We're having great conversation. The only weird thing was she 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:05.520 just kept going to the bathroom, but not just once, 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:09.080 not twice, would go to the bathroom quite frequently in 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:13.920 between drinks. And then I realized that she was actually 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:17.680 indulging in how can I say the Devil's dandriff if you. 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.280 Know what I mean? She was having her own party. Yeah, 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:22.320 we get it, we get it. 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.240 A couple of those beers and then eventually after a 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.720 little while, she was like, look. She owned up to 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.080 it and said, do you want someone I can give 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.480 it to you go to the bathroom, and I was like, no, 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:35.000 I'm okay. You know, it's a Tuesday night and I 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:38.120 think I think I'll pass. And then she took that 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:41.280 really badly, so she then announced on the top of 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.680 her lungs to the entire bar, going, oh, great, so 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:46.600 my date's going to judge me because I'm doing this. 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:50.600 He thinks he's better than me, and then started attacking me. 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.320 And then after a little while I kind of tried 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.640 to calm down the situation. I said to her, I 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.160 think it's best if I leave, And then once again 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:00.960 she stood up at the top of hers in front 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:03.640 of everyone of this busy bar in London, saying like, 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:05.720 well look at look at me now, who's an idiot? 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:07.360 My date's walking out of me. That makes you feel 0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:11.040 really good. Thanks a lot for a great first date. 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.240 How do you feel, Matt, that like someone needed that 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.040 much help to get through a date with you.