1
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,080
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

2
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,119
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers?

3
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,640
Speaker 2: Now, Kate Middleton, you go girl? Can we just get

4
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:16,360
Speaker 2: off the back toddlers, preschoolers, little kids, whatever? Can we

5
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 2: just let them be kids and not expect them to

6
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,279
Speaker 2: sit through a pooring pageant. I wouldn't even sat through

7
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:20,799
Speaker 2: that pageant.

8
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,160
Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom

9
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:24,680
Speaker 1: and dad.

10
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,200
Speaker 2: It's Friday, feel good Friday. Hello, this is doctor Justin Coulson,

11
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,480
Speaker 2: the founder of Happy Families dot Com. Today you why

12
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,200
Speaker 2: are you smiling? Why are you smiling?

13
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,360
Speaker 3: I'm wondering why it's feel good Friday?

14
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,599
Speaker 2: Does Fridays feel good? It's almost the weekend. We get

15
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,160
Speaker 2: to breathe, we get to relax, we get to slow down.

16
00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,360
Speaker 3: He thought you might have a big surprise or something here.

17
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,080
Speaker 2: With Kylie, my wife and mum to our six kids.

18
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,959
Speaker 2: Who is going to be desperately disappointed? Now I've highlighted

19
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,960
Speaker 2: that I don't have a surprise. Thanks for that. Hey,

20
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,040
Speaker 2: can I just share some really exciting news before we

21
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,720
Speaker 2: get into our older better tomorrow and all the stuff

22
00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,520
Speaker 2: that we've got to do today. I've just done a

23
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,560
Speaker 2: quick google and My seventh book is available for pre

24
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,880
Speaker 2: order now online.

25
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:09,400
Speaker 1: Woo is that the big surprise? That's the field. So

26
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,760
Speaker 1: in case you've missed it, I've written a brand new book.

27
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,880
Speaker 1: I was approached by the people that write the Dummies

28
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,480
Speaker 1: books and I've written Dad's Guide to Pregnancy for Dummies,

29
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:20,679
Speaker 1: the second edition.

30
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,880
Speaker 2: It's an Australian one. There's a US Version's boy, you've

31
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,520
Speaker 2: got to make sure you get the Australian one. But

32
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,280
Speaker 2: the Australian second edition Dad's Guide to Pregnancy for Dummies.

33
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,160
Speaker 2: We'll link to it in our show notes for the podcast.

34
00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,280
Speaker 2: It's available for pre order now, just in time for

35
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,240
Speaker 2: Father's Day. If you know a dad who is expecting.

36
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,440
Speaker 3: Can I say that a dad who is expected and.

37
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,080
Speaker 2: Dad's expect in the same way that mums expect. That's okay,

38
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 2: isn't it. I hope I'm not just we've just lost

39
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,120
Speaker 2: half hour listeners because of my political incorrectness. You know

40
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,040
Speaker 2: what I mean. Dads are expected, They're not expected in

41
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,640
Speaker 2: the same way that mums are expecting, but dads are

42
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,880
Speaker 2: excited about all this baby stuff. If you know a

43
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,880
Speaker 2: dad who's going to be having a baby, okay, I

44
00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:01,760
Speaker 2: need to say that again. If you know it, whose partner,

45
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,320
Speaker 2: a wife is having a baby and he wants a

46
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,960
Speaker 2: little bit of support, wants to know, you know.

47
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,440
Speaker 3: Someone who's going to become a dad.

48
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,000
Speaker 2: Oh that's what I'm trying to say. I did write

49
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,720
Speaker 2: the book after all. You think I'd get this together,

50
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:16,440
Speaker 2: wouldn't you? The books available, Dad's Got to Pregnancy for Dummies.

51
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,800
Speaker 2: You can find it online for pre order right now,

52
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,840
Speaker 2: just in time for Father's Day. You can get it

53
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,400
Speaker 2: at book Topia. I think that's online at Dimix and

54
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,200
Speaker 2: a couple of other online retailers as well the pre orders. Hey,

55
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,040
Speaker 2: can I actually mention this in all seriousness? I know

56
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,880
Speaker 2: we've sort of goofed off a bit, but I'm so

57
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,839
Speaker 2: proud of this book, Kylie. You and I have been

58
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,240
Speaker 2: through six labors together. One of them ended up being

59
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,120
Speaker 2: an emergency. Cis aian. But we've had these six labors together,

60
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,079
Speaker 2: and the things that we've learned about how a husband

61
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,600
Speaker 2: or partner can support his wife or partner as she's

62
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:54,480
Speaker 2: going through that labor process have been relationship changing. And

63
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,080
Speaker 2: I put all of that in there, all the stuff

64
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,960
Speaker 2: that we've learned from going through these labors and talking

65
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,600
Speaker 2: with people who know who know exactly how this stuff

66
00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,160
Speaker 2: works best? Would you agree? There've been some of the

67
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,239
Speaker 2: most wonderful bonding experiences of our lives in spite of

68
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,080
Speaker 2: everything you went through.

69
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,000
Speaker 1: As long as we're not talking about baby number one, yes,

70
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,720
Speaker 1: hands down, all right?

71
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,480
Speaker 2: So baby number one, we didn't get any help, right.

72
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,920
Speaker 3: We were doing it. We were doing it alone.

73
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 2: Should we share the story? I know it's otady about

74
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,520
Speaker 2: it tomorrow, but this is this is worth sharing. So, Kylie,

75
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,520
Speaker 2: how pregnant were you when we decided to go for

76
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,720
Speaker 2: a drive from Rockampton to Brisbane seven hours in our

77
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:29,840
Speaker 2: day hatsu charade.

78
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 3: Well, I had twelve days to go, twelve.

79
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,680
Speaker 2: Days till the due date, and your parents were in Brisbane.

80
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,400
Speaker 2: We were living in Rockhampton. I was a radio announcer,

81
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,840
Speaker 2: and I thought, let's just go down and visit your family.

82
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,160
Speaker 3: Because it was first time around. Neither of us were

83
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,080
Speaker 3: pretty clued in.

84
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:46,240
Speaker 2: We had no idea what we were doing, and.

85
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,480
Speaker 1: I missed my mom. I just I wanted to be

86
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,480
Speaker 1: with my mum. So we took a quick drive down

87
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,760
Speaker 1: to Brisbane.

88
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,080
Speaker 2: I was in the daihatsu and my parents.

89
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,760
Speaker 1: Were actually at a social event, so we crashed the

90
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,560
Speaker 1: party and said hello to everybody and then headed back home.

91
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,040
Speaker 1: And about about two o'clock in the morning, I started

92
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:09,200
Speaker 1: getting some niggles. And I'd actually gone into pre labor

93
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,880
Speaker 1: at about seven months, so I actually knew what was happening,

94
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,400
Speaker 1: but there was it wasn't serious, so I just I

95
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,800
Speaker 1: just kind of let you sleep through it. By about

96
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,200
Speaker 1: six o'clock they had increased, and I knew that this

97
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:23,200
Speaker 1: was actually.

98
00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,200
Speaker 2: Building, this was going to turn to a labor yeah.

99
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 1: And so I woke you up and I said, I

100
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:33,120
Speaker 1: think we need to go home, which is seven hours and.

101
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,720
Speaker 2: Your parents are like, maybe you should stay in Brisbane

102
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:35,839
Speaker 2: and have this baby.

103
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,920
Speaker 1: And all I could think about was now, I've paid

104
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,480
Speaker 1: all this money to have the obstetrician of my choice,

105
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,920
Speaker 1: and I want him to be the one that delivers

106
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,480
Speaker 1: my baby, not some random in some Brisbane hospital and.

107
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,880
Speaker 2: Who probably would have done the job just fire, probably,

108
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:49,600
Speaker 2: but you.

109
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:53,120
Speaker 3: Know, so anyway, you and I got in the car

110
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:53,520
Speaker 3: and we.

111
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,040
Speaker 2: Drove seven hours back to rock Anton voll your labory.

112
00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,440
Speaker 1: Some people would say it was probably a little bit,

113
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:05,479
Speaker 1: a little bit irresponsible, ambitious, but being first time and

114
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,320
Speaker 1: knowing that generally speaking, first time is quite slow. I

115
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,120
Speaker 1: rang a friend of mine who was actually due the

116
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,800
Speaker 1: same day as I was in Rockhampton, and but she

117
00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,880
Speaker 1: was having baby number four. So I actually rang her

118
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,880
Speaker 1: and I said, this is what I'm thinking. She said, yeah,

119
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,160
Speaker 1: you should You should be okay.

120
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,360
Speaker 2: Terrible advice, you should be okay. So I didn't write

121
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,800
Speaker 2: about this in Dad's Guy to Pregnancy with Dummies. I

122
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,440
Speaker 2: should have, now that i'm thinking about it, I should

123
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,800
Speaker 2: have put it in that. It would have been a great story.

124
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:29,880
Speaker 3: So anyway, we drove.

125
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,159
Speaker 1: All the way home. I contracted the entire way. I

126
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,520
Speaker 1: was in so much pain. We were in a little

127
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:34,520
Speaker 1: two door charade.

128
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,400
Speaker 2: I still remember stopping at the petrol stakes and I'm

129
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,880
Speaker 2: it wasn't a self serve. They actually come out and

130
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,960
Speaker 2: put the petrol in. It was because it was that

131
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,920
Speaker 2: long ago. And the lady saw you in the trying

132
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,800
Speaker 2: to get out of the car and I couldn't and

133
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,480
Speaker 2: she said, I was your wife, okay, And I said, oh,

134
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,839
Speaker 2: she's in labor. We're about to have a baby. And

135
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,320
Speaker 2: she was like, oh, how fast can I put this gas?

136
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,960
Speaker 2: Like I'm going to get this petrol in the garden now?

137
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,480
Speaker 2: As you absolutely freaked out, But.

138
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:02,400
Speaker 3: We drove, we drove into camped in and everything stopped.

139
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,840
Speaker 3: Literally everything stops.

140
00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,359
Speaker 1: So we'd had plans that we're supposed to go ahead,

141
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,720
Speaker 1: but because we'd made a trip to Brisbane, we'd cancel them.

142
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,479
Speaker 1: So we rang our friend bachelor all the more and said, hey,

143
00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,200
Speaker 1: we're back in town.

144
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,360
Speaker 3: Do you want to go for dinner?

145
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,280
Speaker 1: And he did and literally he knocked on the door

146
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,760
Speaker 1: and I went started labor again, that's right.

147
00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:22,600
Speaker 2: So we had a very uncomfortable meal until he finally said,

148
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,600
Speaker 2: I really think I should go, and of course we

149
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,560
Speaker 2: went to hospital and we had our firstborn. And anyway,

150
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,400
Speaker 2: Dad's got to pregnancy. Dad's got to pregnancy for dummies.

151
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,640
Speaker 2: The book is there so that you don't make the

152
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,440
Speaker 2: same mistakes. It also that the loved ones in your life,

153
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,240
Speaker 2: the dads who are going to or the men who

154
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:40,560
Speaker 2: are going to become dads, either for them.

155
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,560
Speaker 1: The reason you have read in this book is so

156
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,640
Speaker 1: that the mothers in the room feel supported.

157
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,000
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, because and the.

158
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,479
Speaker 1: Dads in the room actually feel empowered to be able

159
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,359
Speaker 1: to give the appropriate support.

160
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,800
Speaker 2: You should write the advertising copy for me. This is great.

161
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,720
Speaker 2: So the book's available. I mean, this wasn't supposed to

162
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,000
Speaker 2: turn into a story and a plag for the book,

163
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,000
Speaker 2: but there it is. The book is called Dad's Guide

164
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,920
Speaker 2: to Pregnancy for Dummies. You can get it on pre

165
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,200
Speaker 2: order now from all of the usual places online. Make

166
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,920
Speaker 2: sure that you get the second Australian edition with my

167
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,520
Speaker 2: name on the cover. Okay, the doctor justin calls someone

168
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:15,440
Speaker 2: if your boy, you might.

169
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,440
Speaker 3: Get a very different approach to dadhood.

170
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,040
Speaker 2: You might feel like I've nailed it anyway. Today is

171
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,920
Speaker 2: about I'll do better tomorrow. That's that's what this podcast

172
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,040
Speaker 2: supposed to be. Where we talk about the winds and

173
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,800
Speaker 2: the losses, the things that we got right and the

174
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,520
Speaker 2: things that we got wrong, the nails and the fails.

175
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 2: If I can paraphrase a friend of mine, Holly wayIn

176
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,360
Speaker 2: right in terms of how our parenting has gone at Kylie.

177
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,160
Speaker 2: Given that we've talked about this so far, let's do

178
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:45,640
Speaker 2: that right after break. The unhealthy, unhelpful boy code that

179
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,480
Speaker 2: is rampant in our children's school and social environments encourages

180
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,240
Speaker 2: some persistent and dangerous ideas about what it means to

181
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,400
Speaker 2: be mailed. But the Building Better Boys webinar is here

182
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:59,160
Speaker 2: to help unpack these cultural ideas and help guide our

183
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:03,520
Speaker 2: boys to be brilliant, beautiful, and even better. Building better

184
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,640
Speaker 2: Boys is available today online at Happy Families dot com

185
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:07,119
Speaker 2: dot au.

186
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,280
Speaker 1: It's The Happy Family's podcast, the podcast for a time

187
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,040
Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers.

188
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,560
Speaker 2: Now, Hey, did I mention that I've got a new

189
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:14,160
Speaker 2: book coming out?

190
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 3: I think the whole first half was about.

191
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,840
Speaker 2: That Dad's Guide to Pregnancy For dumm, He's just saying

192
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,280
Speaker 2: it's out now. Anyone you know who's going to become

193
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,680
Speaker 2: a dad, they need to read it, even if it's

194
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,560
Speaker 2: not the first time they're becoming a dad. Okay, I'll

195
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:29,680
Speaker 2: do better tomorrow, Kylie, what has can I just this

196
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,560
Speaker 2: is not about my book. I've been meaning to bring

197
00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:33,920
Speaker 2: this up on the podcast for about a week and

198
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,400
Speaker 2: a half now, and I keep forgetting. Can we please

199
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,439
Speaker 2: talk about Kate Milton? Can we please talk about Prince

200
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,360
Speaker 2: Lewis or Prince Louis. I don't know how you saying

201
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:46,960
Speaker 2: Louis Prince Louis and the expectation that people have that

202
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,480
Speaker 2: a preschooler will sit and watch the most boring pageant

203
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,559
Speaker 2: in the world for hours.

204
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,920
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a preschooler. I think it's the

205
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:58,040
Speaker 1: fact that Prince Louis is a royalty and the expectation

206
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:02,600
Speaker 1: that the public has on that and what I love

207
00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:05,800
Speaker 1: about this story, and I do I love it. Fans

208
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,160
Speaker 1: probably not the right word, but I just loved Princess Diana,

209
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,680
Speaker 1: and so over the years, I've watched a lot of

210
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:15,240
Speaker 1: documentaries and things, including her sons and just their remembrances

211
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:20,760
Speaker 1: of childhood and just the structure and the strictness and

212
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:26,720
Speaker 1: the lack of emotion and empathy and connection that existed

213
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:31,320
Speaker 1: between parents and grandparents and children. And this story just

214
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:36,240
Speaker 1: warms my heart that one generation later, we've had such

215
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,160
Speaker 1: a shift, just in that one family circuit breaker.

216
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,880
Speaker 2: Kate Middleton, you go girl, It's all I wanted to say.

217
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,439
Speaker 2: Can we just get off a back toddler's preschoolers, little kids, whatever.

218
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,600
Speaker 2: Can we just let them be kids and not expect

219
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,600
Speaker 2: them to sit through a boring pageant. I wouldn't even

220
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:53,280
Speaker 2: sat through that pageant, That's all I'm saying. Okay, So

221
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,000
Speaker 2: Kate Middleton is giving me, she's my inspiration for old

222
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,600
Speaker 2: do better tomorrow? What is your old do better tomorrow?

223
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,040
Speaker 1: So we have an a year old in our house

224
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:06,480
Speaker 1: who is desperate to acquire an app on my phone. Right,

225
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,520
Speaker 1: she is a Pokemon fiend and we'd love to have

226
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,760
Speaker 1: Pokemon Go. She's played it on a few other people's

227
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,480
Speaker 1: phones and is desperate for me to download it. My

228
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,800
Speaker 1: issue with it is that if I do, then not

229
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,319
Speaker 1: only will I not know where my phone is up, yeah,

230
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,360
Speaker 1: that she will just be constantly on it. And so

231
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,040
Speaker 1: we sat down and I said to her, well, I said,

232
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,400
Speaker 1: if you are really convinced that you need to have this,

233
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,360
Speaker 1: and I think you need to sit down and have

234
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,320
Speaker 1: a think about the reasons why you need to have it,

235
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:42,199
Speaker 1: and maybe write a little bit of a persuasive speech argument,

236
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:46,400
Speaker 1: an argument as to why you think this is a

237
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,120
Speaker 1: good idea on why it's so important to you?

238
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:48,320
Speaker 2: Right?

239
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:49,720
Speaker 3: Can I read you what your own?

240
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,960
Speaker 2: I can see it's in purple sexter on one of

241
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,560
Speaker 2: my clean pieces of a four papers.

242
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,360
Speaker 1: She may have asked me a couple of times while

243
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,400
Speaker 1: she was thinking about these things, how do I spell

244
00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:58,880
Speaker 1: this word?

245
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,000
Speaker 2: What she written?

246
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,120
Speaker 1: She said, it gets me out of the house, more

247
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,800
Speaker 1: fair call, it makes me exercise.

248
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,880
Speaker 2: I don't know, I've chasing Pokemon's really exercised. And that's fine.

249
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,800
Speaker 2: I guess it's more active than sitting on the couch

250
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:12,600
Speaker 2: staring at a screen.

251
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,320
Speaker 3: Lots of people have it, lots.

252
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,440
Speaker 2: Of people do, lots of unhealthy. I don't know if

253
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,360
Speaker 2: that's a strong argument.

254
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:24,520
Speaker 1: She's also suggested that she will eat more food if

255
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,640
Speaker 1: she's able to get it.

256
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:29,000
Speaker 3: Really, it will keep me entertained.

257
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:35,199
Speaker 2: I nr tea, if you're destroying my brain when you

258
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,439
Speaker 2: try to spell her spelling, that's it'll keep.

259
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,240
Speaker 3: Me entertained, and I will not ask for it all

260
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:41,760
Speaker 3: the time.

261
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:46,120
Speaker 2: Here's the great thing about this. As parents, our job

262
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,440
Speaker 2: is not to just say yes or no all the

263
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,199
Speaker 2: time and be the unilateral arbiter. Our job is to

264
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,320
Speaker 2: help backads to think through things, to make arguments, to

265
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,160
Speaker 2: work out how they can function effectively. And I love this.

266
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,480
Speaker 2: She's given us what six reasons? Six reasons she has

267
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,760
Speaker 2: to have Pokemon and go worry you up to with it?

268
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:03,440
Speaker 2: Are you going to give it to.

269
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,760
Speaker 3: Him at this point? No?

270
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:10,600
Speaker 1: No, But the conversation continues, and again, I just like

271
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,560
Speaker 1: you said, I love that she's thinking about it. I

272
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 1: love that she's coming up with reasons why it's actually positive.

273
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,560
Speaker 1: But it leads into a capacity for us to have conversation.

274
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,679
Speaker 1: I haven't shut her down. I haven't said no, and

275
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,360
Speaker 1: so we're able to continue this conversation together to work

276
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,559
Speaker 1: out what the pros and the cons are and whether

277
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,840
Speaker 1: or not we think it's going to work in our

278
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:31,520
Speaker 1: family right now.

279
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,600
Speaker 2: Yes, so we've got a fourteen year old who wants Snapchat.

280
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,440
Speaker 2: She hasn't given me the essay yet, but maybe you're

281
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,480
Speaker 2: waiting for broadcast. It's just going to be forthcoming. Let's

282
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,480
Speaker 2: wait and watch this space. Hey, thanks for sharing your

283
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,160
Speaker 2: older about it tomorrow. What's to take home message for

284
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:45,440
Speaker 2: that one?

285
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,920
Speaker 1: I think when our kids want things, especially when they

286
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,800
Speaker 1: feel really big and important to them, it's really important

287
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,280
Speaker 1: that we don't shut them down, that we give them

288
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,640
Speaker 1: the opportunity to come to the table with an argument.

289
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,680
Speaker 1: And as a parent having the capacity to be open

290
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:02,000
Speaker 1: mind did and recognized that if your kids can come

291
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,600
Speaker 1: up with some genuinely good reasons as to why they

292
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,280
Speaker 1: should have something, that that should go a long way

293
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,400
Speaker 1: in helping you to make a decision.

294
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,880
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm open to the conversation. Great take home message.

295
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,240
Speaker 2: My one's really simple. Last week I was in Sydney.

296
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:20,480
Speaker 2: I've hinted I can't say a whole lot, but I've

297
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,920
Speaker 2: hinted that there was a whole lot of season two

298
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:24,480
Speaker 2: Parental Guidance stuff happening that I was involved in. I'm

299
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,959
Speaker 2: so excited for season two, That's all I can say.

300
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,559
Speaker 2: I'm so excited for Season two of Parental Guidance. But

301
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,720
Speaker 2: while I was there, Sydney had its massive light show,

302
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,600
Speaker 2: Vivid happening. It was freezing cold, like I see, horribly

303
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,520
Speaker 2: windy cold, horrible weather. But we decided to do something

304
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,800
Speaker 2: completely out of the box, something that I don't think

305
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,040
Speaker 2: we've ever done so spontaneously since we decided to drive

306
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,839
Speaker 2: Rock Campton when you were pregnant and then drive home

307
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,960
Speaker 2: all of you are laboring. I contact you and said,

308
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,240
Speaker 2: let's bring the kids down for the weekend. And so

309
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,720
Speaker 2: you and the kids came to Sydney for the weekend

310
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,600
Speaker 2: and we got to hang out at Vivid. We visited

311
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,440
Speaker 2: blood ones and friends that we haven't seen for ages

312
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,640
Speaker 2: as we traveled around, and we just had a great

313
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:12,360
Speaker 2: weekend as a family. And it was extravagant and a challenge.

314
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,240
Speaker 2: And it's going to cause some discomfort as a result

315
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,920
Speaker 2: for a couple of weeks as we recover from it,

316
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,960
Speaker 2: maybe a couple of months. But the experience was worth it,

317
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 2: regardless of what the cost was, and it was just

318
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,120
Speaker 2: a reminder seeing the delight on the kids' faces when

319
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,960
Speaker 2: they got to do something so different. I mean, I

320
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,520
Speaker 2: don't know when the last time was that we put

321
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,560
Speaker 2: the one on aeroplane together. I can't remember the last

322
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,280
Speaker 2: time we actually went away on a holiday, like COVID

323
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,120
Speaker 2: has completely shut down our holidays. We haven't holidayed for

324
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,480
Speaker 2: two years. And even though it was only a weekend,

325
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,600
Speaker 2: it was so exciting to see how much fun they

326
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,120
Speaker 2: had to be walking around Vivid at nine point thirty

327
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,000
Speaker 2: ten o'clock at night with our eighteen year old daughter

328
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,320
Speaker 2: and she's just having a ball with this, thinking it's

329
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 2: the best to be spending time with the little kids

330
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,480
Speaker 2: as we as we hugged and wrestled and visited friends,

331
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:01,040
Speaker 2: and I just thought the whole thing. It was a

332
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,800
Speaker 2: reminder that we need to do that sort of stuff

333
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,600
Speaker 2: more often. It doesn't even have to cost lots of money,

334
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:08,720
Speaker 2: but just doing spontaneous, big things with our kids, it

335
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:09,480
Speaker 2: makes a difference.

336
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 1: The joy for me was showing up somewhere and having

337
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,400
Speaker 1: the kids have a recollection and kind of go hanging

338
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,040
Speaker 1: a sec does my friend live here, you know, And

339
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 1: I mean Emily was two when we left, and so

340
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,760
Speaker 1: for her while we've been back a couple of times,

341
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,760
Speaker 1: you know, she's really digging hard and digging deep to

342
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 1: kind of come up with these connections. But to see

343
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,080
Speaker 1: her face light up when she remembered there's somebody here

344
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 1: that I loved. And to watch them reconnect and as kids,

345
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,600
Speaker 1: they just they have this capacity to just pick up

346
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,520
Speaker 1: where they left off. And every time the kids would

347
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,480
Speaker 1: reconnect with somebody that they haven't seen for a couple

348
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,720
Speaker 1: of years now, it just was so beautiful. It filled

349
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 1: my love bucket just watching it without even having to

350
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,160
Speaker 1: participate in it.

351
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,920
Speaker 2: Doesn't have to take her message right there, though, I

352
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,920
Speaker 2: love that the idea that we should take our kids

353
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,840
Speaker 2: back to places that we used to be so that

354
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,880
Speaker 2: they can strength and renew rekindle those relationships. It really

355
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,080
Speaker 2: was an absolutely sweet thing to do last weekend. So

356
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,240
Speaker 2: that's my older better tomorrow, we've covered some ground. Kate

357
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:17,480
Speaker 2: Middleton Princess Louis Dad's Guide to Pregnancy for Dummies out

358
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,600
Speaker 2: now pre order. Please get hold of it. If you

359
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 2: know any dad who or anyone who's about to become

360
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,280
Speaker 2: a dad, whether it's for the first time or the

361
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,760
Speaker 2: fifth time, and our arguing with your kids, our old

362
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,200
Speaker 2: do better tomorrow about apps and travel. Hey, we hope

363
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,400
Speaker 2: you have a wonderful, wonderful weekend with your family. We

364
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 2: hope that you get to have a super Saturday, a

365
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 2: sensational Sunday, and we look forward to being back with

366
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,960
Speaker 2: you on the Happy Families podcast on Monday when we

367
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:45,160
Speaker 2: address the issue of smacking. It's back in the news.

368
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 2: There are calls for smacking to be made illegal in

369
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,520
Speaker 2: Australia after small countries around the world have done so,

370
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 2: and some new researchers come out in Australia showing just

371
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,920
Speaker 2: how rife smacking is in Australian families. We're going to

372
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,840
Speaker 2: pull that apart on Monday. I can't wait for that

373
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,240
Speaker 2: conversation for now, though, The Happy Famili's podcast is produced

374
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 2: by Justin Rulan from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our

375
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,159
Speaker 2: executive producer and if you'd like more information about how

376
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,640
Speaker 2: your family can be happier, please join our Happy Families memberships.

377
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 2: You can find everything that you need to know about

378
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,200
Speaker 2: it at Happyfamilies dot com dot au. Have a great weekend,