WEBVTT - Tips to conquer intrusive thoughts and overthinking 🧠 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:11.879 Get everyone safe to say, it's been the week of weeks, 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:16.119 absolutely hectic on all fronts, and I'm actually down in 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:22.240 Tasmania at the moment filming a wellness TV show, Plass. 0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:24.799 I've spent a little bit of time in hospital, which 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:27.639 I'll give you a bit more context around when we 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:29.560 all catch up next week. But this week I just 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:33.000 wanted to reshare one of my favorite episodes with doctor 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:37.760 Jodie Richardson, all about anxiety and our children. I think 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:40.919 it's one of those things that was really top of 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:43.960 mind coming out of COVID, but it's something we always 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:46.120 need to keep tup of mind. I love this episode, 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:48.040 so I thought i'd reshare it with you this week. 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:51.280 Enjoy it if you haven't heard it. I'll be back 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:53.840 next week in the studio to fill you in on 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:59.720 everything that's been going on and have a great week. 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.360 So I'm very lucky to be sitting here today with 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:25.280 doctor Jodie Richardson, who is a mum of two, a 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.919 best selling author and I've got her two incredible books 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:32.080 sitting here in front of me, a speaker and also 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:36.720 hosts her own weekly podcast called Well Hello Anxiety, and 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:38.480 we are here Jodie, welcome. 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:40.039 Thank you so much for having me. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:43.600 I think I would be safe in saying that after 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.240 the last two years that we have all endured across 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:50.600 Australian across the world, the word anxiety is probably coming 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:52.040 up a lot more than it used to. 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:54.440 So how has. 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:57.040 Lockdowns and uncertainty and all of this bad news that 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:02.240 we've been navigating impact anxiety and what can we do 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.200 to try and reduce our worries and anxiety? 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:08.880 Unpredictability is such a huge driver of anxiety and uncertainty 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:12.040 because our brain registers threat and so the last two 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:17.160 years understandably have been really stressful for families, for children, 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:19.440 for professionals, it's been a really. 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:21.919 Difficult couple of years because there's so much that. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:24.359 We don't know, And even going into the start of 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:27.200 well start of February in twenty twenty two, they're still 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:32.040 unknowns and there's still expectations placed upon us that are 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:36.239 more ordinary for us in terms of rapid antigen testing 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:38.760 and masks. But kids don't know if their teachers are 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:40.320 always going to be there in their class if they 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:43.000 get COVID and need to take some time off. Kids 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.080 don't know if they're going to be exposed to COVID. 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:46.960 We as adults don't know if we're going to be 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:50.040 homeschooling our kids again, if they are exposed at school, 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:52.760 and that's going to bring another interruption into our lives. 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.520 It's just so much that we still don't know. 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:58.880 And lives never genuinely predictable anyway, But the last couple 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:01.240 of years have certainly up and I think it's good 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.160 for people to know that anxiety is a really normal 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:05.480 human emotion. We all experience it, but it's when we 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.160 get stuck that it's a problem. 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:09.360 So I'm so glad you said, first of all, it's normal. 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:11.680 I'm really glad too that you brought up kids, because 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:14.680 I think most of our listeners were probably nodding along 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:16.320 thinking of their own. 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:17.960 Situation over the last two years. 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:22.120 But you are actually an expert in kids anxiety as 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.320 well as adults anxiety. So the two books that I've 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:26.919 got sitting here in front of me are Anxious Mums, 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.880 and your best seller, which doesn't surprise me at all, 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:33.600 is Anxious Kids. Let's talk about the kids a little 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:37.680 bit more, because I'm obviously a doting father of three 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:41.640 soon to be four girls and probably at either end 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.520 of the spectrum, my four year old and my sixteen 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:45.960 year old. From anxiety perspective, I've got one little girl 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:49.680 who's heading off to kindergarten and another little girl who's 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.360 starting her year eleven, which tends to be a very 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:56.800 high pressure school year, and she's become quite disconnected over 0:03:56.800 --> 0:04:00.120 the last two years from that normal flow of prep 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:03.800 for those two big years, and socially disconnected from all 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:06.280 of our friends and really missing that social aspective thing. 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:10.400 So what should we be looking for as parents when 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:12.040 it comes to anxiety with their children. 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:13.839 The number one thing is avoidance. 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:16.640 That when we feel anxious and uncomfortable about something, and 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:20.960 when our kids feel anxious and uncertain, that avoidance often 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:22.160 becomes very clear. 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:22.560 Very quickly. 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:25.320 I don't want to go, I don't want to separate, 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:27.880 I don't want to do it. Getting back into school 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:29.680 is going to be really hard. Some kids have really 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:34.240 enjoyed being at home and having that predictable routine at 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:36.359 home and not having the unpredictability of being in the 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:39.080 social setting with kids at school, which can be really 0:04:39.200 --> 0:04:41.719 challenging for some kids, depending on where they are socially 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:45.400 and how they go at school. But other kids are 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:48.160 feeling like getting back into school is something that they 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:49.960 know is good for them, but they're just not used 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:51.440 to it and it's the start of a new school 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.919 year and more challenges. What's the workload going to be 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:56.920 like in year eleven? How am I going to manage 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:58.559 that with all of the other things that I'm doing? 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:01.280 Am I going to be able to meet the expectations 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.400 that I have on myself? You know, for older kids 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:05.480 and for little kids, it's for some of them it's 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:09.919 their first proper time in the classroom without lockdown looming 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.479 having been something they've experienced or something that they've got 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:15.960 coming up. So when it comes to anxiety, a huge 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.200 thing to look out for is that avoidance. And we 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.880 know avoidance just amplifies anxiety. So it's something to help 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:21.680 manage if you can. 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:25.000 So, yeah, So the first part is to identify these 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:26.960 things and the second part is to how do you 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:27.520 deal with it? 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:31.680 So I come from a family of tough love. 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.400 You know, if I went to school and had a 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:37.960 crappy day, there would be no way. My mum was 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.520 definitely more empathy and sensitive, I think, But then my 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:42.720 mom passed away when I was fifteen, and that was 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:44.919 a bit of a tough nut, but it was I 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.320 wouldn't have had any option to not go back to 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:52.200 school and face these things head on and now as 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:55.680 a pair, And I wonder I think that was good 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:55.960 for me. 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.360 I mean, and maybe you tell me I'm way off 0:05:59.360 --> 0:05:59.880 track here, but. 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:03.560 I am really grateful that my dad made me go 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:05.599 back and face those things head on and not put 0:06:05.600 --> 0:06:08.080 my head in the sand and not run away from 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:10.000 my problems and all these kind of things. I'm being 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:12.080 a bit dramatic, but you know that's sort of what is. 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.640 So what are you suggesting we do then without you? 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:17.000 And when it comes to anxiety and this avoidance issue, 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:17.320 do you. 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:19.159 I think your dad was on the right track. 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:22.160 Absolutely. I'm glad you said that, because I'm that's how 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:22.800 I parent. 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:25.880 And I wonder if that's a conscious decision that I've 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:29.440 made or just the apple not very far from the tree. 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:31.880 But I do think there's something even in my subconscious 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.600 where I think I think I'm a strong person and 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:38.160 I can actually I'm quite resilient and I can navigate 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:41.000 problems well because my dad made me deal with them 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:43.560 at the time, and I've learnt these skills over time, 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:46.280 whereas if I just continued to avoid them and run 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:47.960 away from them, I'd probably now be a bit of 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:50.279 a fish out of water whenever I'm facing these curve balls. 0:06:50.360 --> 0:06:52.360 Yeah, and we can work out how we manage that, 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:54.839 whether or not it's sometimes we do what's called it 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:58.000 a step ladder approach, which is, for a child that 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.800 has been refusing to go to school, sending them back 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:02.920 to school full time is going to be too much 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:04.040 for the score of diusals. 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:05.560 Obviously really serious and very. 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:08.520 Difficult, but it's about like dipping your toe in the water, 0:07:08.720 --> 0:07:11.160 step by step by step and breaking down a big 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:14.880 challenge into smaller parts and helping a child experience the 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:18.200 first small step and then becoming accustomed to the discomfort 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:21.240 that comes with maybe going and staying in the classroom 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:24.040 for period one of the day and then coming home 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.160 or spending some time in the library. So breaking it 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:29.320 down but also really validating for kids how they feel. 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:32.760 Because when it's easier for us to say, don't worry 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.160 about it, or there's nothing to stress about, or it 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:37.960 will be okay, but when a child's feeling everything that 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:41.080 comes with anxiety, which is all the physical sensations of 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.880 racing heart, that edginess that we all know. Then being 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:47.080 able to validate that for them is really powerful to 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.640 say I know that this is hard. I'm not trying 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:51.080 to say to you that this is not hard, but 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.560 I also know that you can do it, and we 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.560 can work on this together. And so that gives that 0:07:56.680 --> 0:07:59.960 child that sense of hope and together with a pair 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:03.480 working towards this big goal, so eventually, over time they 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:06.120 can rise to that challenge and rise to other challenges 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:09.040 that will no doubt come before them across their lives 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:09.440 as well. 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:13.280 I've just had an a hum because I do both 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.360 of those things really well with my four year old. 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:17.800 I don't do the validation very worth my sixteen year 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:20.760 old because I think there's something inside me that perhaps 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:24.560 unfairly says she's old enough. I can be a bit 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:28.160 more direct, as in, I'll say to her, Mavie, this 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:31.160 is it's life, you know, like sometimetimes you have tough 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:33.560 days at school, you like, you know, I don't feel 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:35.720 with her, I just kind of go, you know, you're 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:37.560 just gonna have to suck this up and kind of 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:39.720 face it, because that's that's las sweating and you know, 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:42.280 it's if you don't face these things now, you're going 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:44.680 to get into the workforce, and you can't just quit 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:46.800 your job or not go back to work if someone 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:48.440 at work gives you a hard time, you know, like 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.679 you feel like your job as a parent is of 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:52.160 course they need to love you, but you're trying to 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:54.480 prepare them for the big, wide, scary world out there 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.840 once they leave home or whatever it is. And I'm 0:08:56.880 --> 0:08:59.920 a bit tough, and I feel like Snare's my wife 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:02.720 is a bit the other way, and maybe I overcompensate 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:03.280 a little bit. 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:06.960 I think Evy's going to thank you a lot chat 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:07.240 one day. 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:09.839 I mean, I always says, I know he might be 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:11.520 frustrated at me. Now, I just wanted to one day 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:13.559 wake up when she's eighteen or nineteen or twenty three 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:16.160 or whenever it is, and say, oh, thanks for being 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:17.920 how you were when you were And I now actually 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:20.640 get why you were how you were, even though at 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:22.320 the time I thought you're a bit tough on me. 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:24.120 So that's actually really nice here. 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:26.920 So a lot of our listeners won't have children, and 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:30.280 they will have also been experiencing anxiety, and we are 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:32.800 obviously a fitness Wellness podcast, So I'd love to talk 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:37.120 to you about the link between exercise and anxiety. I 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:40.600 know you are a avid exerciser and a big fan 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:44.960 of it, and I'd love to understand from you why 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:48.679 you think exercise can be so beneficial and what your 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:51.800 tips are around exercise and how it can help with 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:53.400 anxiety instrest management. 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:58.080 Oh gosh, exercise is the most unbelievable prescription for anyone 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:00.880 with anxiety. And one of the things to note about 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:02.760 it is that it's the natural end to the fight 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.760 or flight response. So when we become anxious, there's a 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:08.040 part of our brain that's recognized a threat, and we 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:09.559 might not consciously. 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:10.679 Detect that threat. 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.680 It could just be too many emails in area, and 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.040 a fight or flight response is switched on and it's 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:18.680 preparing our body to fight the threat or to run 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:20.880 away from it. And when we are actually just sitting 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:23.720 at our laptops or lying in bed, then we're not 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:25.839 putting all of those changes in our body to good use. 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:28.079 And so exercise is the natural end to the fight 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:30.559 or flight response. So not only does it help to 0:10:30.559 --> 0:10:33.760 dissipate the cortisol and the adrenaline we release, so many 0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:38.480 amazing neurotransmitters. There's endocannabinoids, which really give us a sense 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:42.120 of hope and optimism. So when you exercise, you feel good, 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.480 you feel uplifted. Some people get a real euphoric feeling, 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:46.640 a real run is high. 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:47.559 I get that. 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:50.360 I feel amazing when I exercise, and it keeps me 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.480 coming back for more. Others don't quite get that and say, well, 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:55.839 maybe it's not for me. But what we know is 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:58.880 it changes the brain. It increases resilience in the brain. 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:04.040 Our brain releases it's called brain a derived neurotropic factor BDNF, 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:06.560 which is like a miracle grow like a fertilizer for 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:11.040 our brain cells, so strengthening our neurons, strengthening connections. We 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:15.439 also have another neurotransmitter released, which is called GABBA, and 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:18.480 that is like putting on the brakes for the stress response. 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:23.240 So there's all these amazing things going on in our brain. Also, 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.800 one of the things about exercise is that it mimics 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:30.120 the anxiety response. So when we become anxious, our hearts rate, 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:35.360 our breathing changes, we get tense, we perspire, and we 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:39.400 feel those feelings and they make us feel tense and worried. 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:41.840 We don't like it, and we want to do what 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.839 we can to not feel like that because we don't 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:45.920 like those feelings. 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:46.920 But when we do. 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:49.959 Exercise, we feel tense, our heart rate goes up, our 0:11:49.960 --> 0:11:53.160 breathing rate goes up, we perspire. And if we can 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:58.360 reframe those sensations to be recognized as just merely feelings 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:01.400 in the body and not have that story of anxiety 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:05.600 around it, then exercise just develops this general resilience to 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:08.959 that experience as well and helps us cope better. 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:12.360 It's interesting, isn't it, Because a lot of us think 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:14.559 we should be going through life trying to avoid stress, 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:18.400 whereas as an exercise scientist, you know that you're actually 0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:22.080 doing yourself a faibor putting your body under stress, adapting 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:24.480 to that stress and growing and evolving and growing and 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:26.280 growing and then handling the stress better and handling the 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:29.800 stress better. And stress is good. Yeah, I mean, stress 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:33.160 is such a dirty word and a negative word in 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:35.760 the way it's used typically in our language, but in 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:41.400 fitness terms, stress is good. Does all exercise have those 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:42.280 magic powers? 0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:42.520 You know? 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:46.319 Would a light walk be as beneficial as a hard 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.640 run or a hit session or a circuit where you're 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:52.319 puffing and panting or is there a level here of 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.640 the more stress I put myself under with a tougher workout, 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:56.760 the better the benefits are. 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:57.040 Going to be. 0:12:57.360 --> 0:12:59.679 Yeah, there's certainly an element to that, and as you 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:03.080 and I both know, it's about people working their way 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:06.600 up towards working really hard. And so I would say 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:08.680 if you can get out, because the bonus of even 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.000 going for a walk is you start to get some 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:13.680 of those benefits. But if you're going outside, you're getting 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:16.600 all the benefits of being in nature, which is so 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:19.120 calming for our nervous system. If you're doing it with 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.960 someone else, you've got that opportunity to connect, and it 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.560 gives you that accountability as well, So you've got those 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:28.000 additional benefits. Because when when we look at happiness on 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.760 the whole in our lives, it's our connections with other 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.720 people and our relationships number one that bring us the 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:37.240 most joy and meaning in our life. And so any 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.839 exercise is good. And I always like to say to people, start, 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:44.520 start small, and build up. And I used to shy 0:13:44.640 --> 0:13:48.600 away a little bit from really encouraging people to increase 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:51.800 the intensity. And you know, back when I was a PTE, 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.200 I would ease people in probably a little bit over 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.800 too long a period, Whereas, if you're safe and you've 0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:59.280 got the nod from your dock and you're ready to 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:03.600 do it, build up under professional guidance like your twenty 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:06.760 eight program, and don't be afraid of building up to 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:09.000 lifting heavy weights and to be working hard. I mean, 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.120 I finish a cross fit and I kid you, not 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.280 on my back, like just feeling like, oh my gosh, 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.120 I can't believe my body just did that, and my 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.199 heart is thumping out of my chest and I can't 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:21.440 even speak, but I just feel such a sense of accomplishment. 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:25.920 I feel strong, and I feel empowered. And so it's 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:29.040 finding the exercise that's the best fit for you, I 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:31.400 think is the best advice, isn't it. And doing it 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:34.080 as a group program connecting with other people and being 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.720 a part of something also brings meaning to your life, 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:38.160 and so you're going to be. 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:39.600 More likely to continue with it. 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:42.600 So it's just something I would love everybody to bring 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:43.520 into part of their day. 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.320 But don't give up. If you've tried one thing and 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:46.960 it wasn't. 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:48.840 The right fit for you, You've got to keep going 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:50.160 and finding what works. 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:51.720 Oh my god, there's so many things there. 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.400 First of all, from an exercise science perspective, I love 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.400 that you've said that, because I candidly think most people 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:01.640 don't quite understand their bodies are capable of, you know, 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.000 and they never they have gears that they don't even 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:06.280 know they exist. Something I do want to talk to 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:10.080 you about from a parenting perspective is pressure that parents 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:14.880 put on themselves, the guilt that parents have. We've actually 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:19.320 got a question from Sonya just about this topic, and 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:21.400 she is asking about mum guilt. 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:22.920 Maybe we take a question from Sonya. 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:29.760 I've regained about seven to eight kilos and I'm trying 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.440 to walk every day. I still try and eat healthy. 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:36.200 I'm just lost. I guess how do I regain my focus? 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:40.840 How do I, I guess, not feel guilty about putting 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:41.760 myself first? 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:44.920 Again, that's a big question. I must have this question 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:45.440 all the time. 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:49.440 Yes, Sonya, it's really it's so common for mums in 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:52.400 particular to feel guilty, especially if we've got young children 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:54.720 and we're starting to do the things that we might 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:57.960 have once done before we were before we were parents. 0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:00.840 And one of the things I like to say to 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:03.040 you Sonia and anyone else who experiences this is the 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:06.720 idea that it's really natural to feel all feelings, and 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:09.200 that if you feeling guilty, it means that you care, 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:12.040 means that you care about your child. It means that 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:14.800 you care about what's important for you. And I would 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:17.280 say to you, don't wait till you don't feel guilty 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:21.640 to do what's really important. I remember when I was 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.040 a new mum, I thought a good mum using air 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.160 quotes because you can see this sort of podcast, I 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:30.080 thought a good mum spent pretty much every waking minute 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.960 with their infant. And I was just absolutely ruining myself 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:38.120 and I wasn't back into exercise. And when I really 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:41.440 rediscovered my values and recognized that my mental health was 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:45.520 not good story for another time, exercise was something that 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.120 was missing. I found it really hard to go back 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:51.120 to the gym and hand over my newborn to a 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.720 stranger in the gym and do my workout, and I 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:57.160 felt terribly guilty. But what I realized was that the 0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:01.000 way that I felt after doing the exercise was preparing 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:04.320 me and building my resilience and filling my cup to 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:06.359 be a better parent, to be more present when I 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:09.400 was back with him. And also what I found over 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.000 the years is me filling my own cup and still 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:14.880 being an individual as well as a parent, has role 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.359 modeled for my kids in the most extraordinary ways. And 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.360 whilst I did a crossfeit work out on Monday, our 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:22.800 son who's thirteen, went for his run and then he 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.280 joined me at the CrossFit box and just sort of 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:28.239 cheered everyone on and hung out with us. And I 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.719 can see that my doing the things that have been 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:34.879 important to me have really role modeled healthy behaviors and 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:38.439 self care for my kids. And so, Sonia, i'd encourage 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:40.720 you to think about when you are taking care of yourself, 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:44.240 you're showing your kids also what it is that they 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:46.920 can do to look after themselves, because if you give 0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:49.480 everything away to everyone else, then that's what you're teaching 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:53.320 them as well. So all feelings are okay. Acknowledge that 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:56.400 you feel guilty, but think about what's important to you 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:00.800 and take steps to do that. Know that in doing 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:02.960 that you're actually setting a fine example for your children 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:03.560 as well. 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:05.760 I love that role modeling bit. That's something I hadn't 0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:09.120 thought of before. That's the icing on the cake, isn't it. 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:11.400 I can't add anything else to that. I think that's 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:16.600 absolutely spot on, and I hope that helped Sonya. We 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:20.200 talk about anxiety, and we talk about reducing stress. What 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.119 it really comes down to is how do we find happiness? 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:27.199 You know, that's really what you help people do a 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:30.040 bit of a question without notice and quite a general question, 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:32.760 but what are your top three or top five? You 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:34.840 can have as many as you like gifts on finding 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:36.800 happiness that you can kind of leave our listeners with. 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:39.679 Well, what I would say first and foremost is to 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:41.520 know that it's not actually natural to be. 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:42.320 Happy all the time. 0:18:42.400 --> 0:18:43.639 Yeah, that's good, and. 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:46.200 That, like you say, we do the things that we do, 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:47.880 we do the work we do, we like to look 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:49.320 the way we do, we dress the way we do, 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:51.680 we do the exercise we do, because we're always looking 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:54.359 to feel good. And I think we were raised. I 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:56.879 know I certainly was as a gen X, a raised 0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:59.080 to sort of think that, well, if you're not happy, 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:01.399