Speaker 1: You're not going to mention anything about my appearance today.
Speaker 2: It's not always about you, bro.
Speaker 1: You know, I just got a little haircut and even
Speaker 1: said anything.
Speaker 3: I did notice it. Well, if you notice it, what
Speaker 3: do you say something I would like to see from you?
Speaker 1: I've actually gone a bit. This is a bit ash esque.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would like to see a little bit less side.
Speaker 3: Burn less side burn Yeah, what do you mean at
Speaker 3: the moment? Less?
Speaker 2: Like a tape it? More more tape it side back? Yeah,
Speaker 2: it is a bit tape it. Yeah, I really like it.
Speaker 3: The length of the back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that needs to be shorter. Really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it looks good even more. Yeah, just that bit.
Speaker 1: I can't tell if you're setting me up.
Speaker 2: You're right on track. Okay, I'll show you later what
Speaker 2: I mean. Okay, I also got a haircut too, Have
Speaker 2: you not noticed?
Speaker 1: I get sorry? You look great and you've grown your beard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's going on there?
Speaker 2: Me? Life crisis?
Speaker 4: Got I have not seemed like a vertle that front.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to two dating dads. I am Maddie Jay
Speaker 1: and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about
Speaker 1: haircuts apparently. So it's the good, the bad, the good,
Speaker 1: the bad haircuts and the relatable haircuts.
Speaker 2: What's a relatable haircut?
Speaker 3: Which feel age?
Speaker 1: Just short back in sides? It is, Yeah, it's been
Speaker 1: done to.
Speaker 2: Death, hasn't that.
Speaker 1: It's a bit it's overkay.
Speaker 2: People are leaving the back now because they're like, it's
Speaker 2: been done to death.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm jumping really late on the bandwagon
Speaker 1: of having it long on the back.
Speaker 2: I like it. I think you're in good. You've got
Speaker 2: to remember we're in now. Well, you're in your late thirties, dude.
Speaker 1: I was at an event where someone said how old
Speaker 1: are you? And I said, I'm turning thirty eight and
Speaker 1: they went.
Speaker 3: Oh shit, you're almost forty.
Speaker 2: The fuck ore.
Speaker 1: I was like, how old are you and they're like,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six.
Speaker 2: Oh it's wild.
Speaker 1: I'm almost forty dude, almost forty.
Speaker 2: Hey.
Speaker 1: You know what I've noticed is that the biggest change
Speaker 1: the closer I get to.
Speaker 2: Forty one sec. No advice we'll be giving in this podcast.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Let's move forward. Ye, sorry, thank you. The
Speaker 2: lawyers were stressing out just then. I was stressed.
Speaker 1: I've noticed that the back hair, like you know you
Speaker 1: have a little is it called like a welcome mat.
Speaker 2: What's it called above your welcome mat? Yeah, welcome mat
Speaker 2: doesn't I don't have it anymore.
Speaker 3: You trimmed it? Yeah, go on, just look away.
Speaker 1: Oh god, you missed the spot. A couple of little
Speaker 1: straight A couple of little straight hairs?
Speaker 3: Who did that?
Speaker 1: Was that very hard to shave that region?
Speaker 2: This is going to shave that reason?
Speaker 3: How would you do it?
Speaker 2: This is if anyone who know. This is like the
Speaker 2: lower back lower above the butt crack. Yeah, where the
Speaker 2: love handles are.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 2: For some.
Speaker 3: Jesus, it's like run where my back six pack is?
Speaker 1: I do like the twist, the twist the I go under.
Speaker 2: Ill just go right under, and I go from my
Speaker 2: lower back right through to my gooch.
Speaker 3: Or my taint.
Speaker 1: If you would, it looks very good. Why did you
Speaker 1: trim yours?
Speaker 3: I want to look better at a bathing suit dream winter.
Speaker 3: You've had that for a long time.
Speaker 2: It was creeping its way up to my shoulders.
Speaker 1: Well, dude, that's what That's what I'm experiencing. Mine used
Speaker 1: to just be that little part there. It's now like
Speaker 1: it's up to my laps.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like two dokin granddads. What the fuck?
Speaker 1: Why is my pubic hair waited until I've almost hit
Speaker 1: the age of forty to then go ah, we will
Speaker 1: start growing on the back.
Speaker 3: Yes, get it. Boys like you won't.
Speaker 1: Notice why now if you're a medical expert, tell me.
Speaker 3: But some people were hairy in school, like man children.
Speaker 2: I haven't made whose back was back in ass hairy
Speaker 2: since we were like fourteen.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I only got under our hair when I was eighteen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it feels good to get that off my chest.
Speaker 1: The look on your face. I remember like every morning
Speaker 1: looking under my arms in high school being like come on,
Speaker 1: like waiting for that first little sprout to happen in
Speaker 1: the garden. I'm like, at any second, now it'll happen.
Speaker 3: And kids at school would have given you so much shit.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like swimming carnivals. It was you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was freak. I used to love the old.
Speaker 2: The old comeback would be like you thought you had
Speaker 2: a pube until you pissed out of it. I never
Speaker 2: heard that that was a glassy Oh god, yeah, and
Speaker 2: you could get you be like your one you don't
Speaker 2: have your pubes, and two you got a tiny dick.
Speaker 3: It's like a double up. It's the double the double
Speaker 3: like it's the one too.
Speaker 1: A little while ago, Ash, we were talking about the
Speaker 1: fact that Oscar had performed very well at his cross country.
Speaker 1: What place did he get?
Speaker 2: It was ninth, But because your shoe fell off, couldn't
Speaker 2: catch up.
Speaker 1: Of course that morning, who was tying the shoelaces.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you recall it was a Belk
Speaker 2: crush shoe. I apologize, Yeah, you should. I apologize, And
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's funny. We don't have country. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you were saying from year three up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're wrong. I was very wrong.
Speaker 1: I've tried so hard to subscribe to the school newsletter.
Speaker 1: Why would you want to do that, because because things
Speaker 1: like cross country, that's how we find out I'm not
Speaker 1: good East to have parade.
Speaker 3: I'm not getting told anything. I'm in the dark.
Speaker 2: Can't you get emails but the newsletter. That's all in
Speaker 2: the newsletter, but I don't receive. I purposely gave them
Speaker 2: zero emails for me. They go to April.
Speaker 1: Would see where opposite and our found that Laura, is
Speaker 1: that's true, Laura, that they could be like your child
Speaker 1: is being held at gunpoint and you need to come
Speaker 1: to the school to pick it up, pick it up,
Speaker 1: pick her up, and Laura will like see that like
Speaker 1: a week later and be like, where's where's Marley? A
Speaker 1: week still being held hostage. She doesn't read her emails. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: God love her.
Speaker 3: You and April together would be terrible. Me and Laura
Speaker 3: together terrible.
Speaker 1: So it works if we ever are inclined to swap partners.
Speaker 1: Let's just remember this conver station. Well we know it's
Speaker 1: just on that really quick.
Speaker 2: Ever went to a party and there was a bowl
Speaker 2: at the front that said three keys in here as
Speaker 2: a joke. I must have been a joke. Must have
Speaker 2: been which party? A birthday party? Don't know, but we're
Speaker 2: going back next week.
Speaker 1: So my sister goes to the same school. Sister is
Speaker 1: very like, she's.
Speaker 2: How old is your sister?
Speaker 1: I mean very good, very good, very good, very good,
Speaker 1: some of your best work now. But she is she's
Speaker 1: dialed in to the to the school newsletter. She is
Speaker 1: the kind of mum who like works at the canteen.
Speaker 3: You write it right the school.
Speaker 1: She's pretty she's the editor. She's the editor. And she
Speaker 1: was like, hey, you got next Wednesday? You got She
Speaker 1: actually listened to the podcast and was like, just you
Speaker 1: know you do have a cross country it is coming up,
Speaker 1: so you are welcome, and I was like fuck. I
Speaker 1: was like, So I went to Marley and I was like,
Speaker 1: she's actually a pretty good runner. Not to like and
Speaker 1: I sound like a like my child is so.
Speaker 2: Fast, so smart, so fast, she could fly. But I
Speaker 2: sat her down and I was like, hey, you got
Speaker 2: something coming up and it's going to be very exciting.
Speaker 2: I used to like cross country. Yep. I used to
Speaker 2: be the champion of my school. We're going to sit
Speaker 2: here and he's going to glowed about.
Speaker 1: You went to regionals, went to my auntie.
Speaker 3: Actually regionals on carry on.
Speaker 1: We had zones and then we had regionals after zones,
Speaker 1: I was one step away from making states.
Speaker 2: I'm standing by it.
Speaker 3: When you get to ausies, bro, did you make ouzies?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, for what?
Speaker 2: Lots of things go on to my jump, long jump
Speaker 2: four hundred meters, beach sprinting flags, battle board.
Speaker 3: I was trying to have a moment.
Speaker 2: And anything else I can I could. The list goes on, yeah,
Speaker 2: well what happened here? Ah beer, Well he's naturally sad.
Speaker 1: Wow, just ship on me. When I'm trying to have
Speaker 1: a moment, with the listeners. So it was a big
Speaker 1: deal cross country for me. You know, not all of
Speaker 1: us went to Aussie's. Some of us were happy with
Speaker 1: just winning Reach of the Stars. I say, well said,
Speaker 1: And I went to Smiley and said, you have cross
Speaker 1: country coming up, you have to run. And it was
Speaker 1: like I was telling her that she was going to
Speaker 1: lose a limb. I was like, hey, next Wednesday, you're
Speaker 1: going to lose a limb. It's going to get cut
Speaker 1: off at school, but it's going to be for a
Speaker 1: good cause. She was like, why why do they make
Speaker 1: us run? And I was like, it's just it's cross
Speaker 1: country is a it's an event. You're going to run
Speaker 1: against the people in your class. And she's like, but
Speaker 1: for what what are we competing for? And I was like,
Speaker 1: to be the fastest.
Speaker 3: She needs like a real reason.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she doesn't get sports. She's not like a like
Speaker 1: she would rather dance. And I was trying to explain
Speaker 1: to her, like there's a reason we do this, and
Speaker 1: she was like I don't understand, Like what are we
Speaker 1: trying to achieve here? Because you have to Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like, it's fun because you get to you get
Speaker 1: to run.
Speaker 2: Run with your friends. And there's two types of kids.
Speaker 2: I think, kids that like to run for fun and
Speaker 2: kids that like to run competitively. Oscar is the competitive one.
Speaker 2: I can't be like, oh, just run over there. He'll
Speaker 2: be like timey. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like you've got like a little whippet dog that's great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got like a docile great dane. That's like, why
Speaker 1: would I run? Like, you know, what's gonna What am
Speaker 1: I going to get at the end of it? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't get anything. You get like a
Speaker 1: ribbon if you win, if you come first thing or third,
Speaker 1: if you come fourth. You don't get anything. And she's like,
Speaker 1: that's a ship deal.
Speaker 2: She sees the logic in it on it and I
Speaker 2: kind of do realize it is.
Speaker 1: It's a weird fucking concept, it is. I think, like
Speaker 1: it's like it's very gladiator asque, like you will all
Speaker 1: fight to the jask. I'm all run, drop and die
Speaker 1: and then we'll learn spelling.
Speaker 2: Yeah do you think like that? They're like they get
Speaker 2: them involved, So it's more like I don't know, like
Speaker 2: the getting involved part.
Speaker 1: You know, you just gotta just okay, Can I tell
Speaker 1: you a story?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: At my school. When I was growing up, this is
Speaker 1: Brookfield Primary School. Shout out to anyone from Brookfield and
Speaker 1: Queensland close down. I heard absolutely not. It's thriving, it's doing.
Speaker 2: They were like, who's going to go to reach it's expanding.
Speaker 3: Fuck you.
Speaker 1: There was a young boy, Peter Low.
Speaker 3: I thought he could say no.
Speaker 1: Peter Low was in my sister's grade, one year older,
Speaker 1: and he was the poster child across country. He was
Speaker 1: someone who had cerebral palsy and every single year he
Speaker 1: would run the cross country. It would take him a
Speaker 1: lot longer than everybody else. He would run this race
Speaker 1: knowing he's not going to win the race. He just
Speaker 1: wanted to be involved. And when he would come in
Speaker 1: at the finish line, we would have the whole school
Speaker 1: cheering him on because every single year he got involved
Speaker 1: he did it. And my mam always said to us,
Speaker 1: you're so lucky. He's so lucky to be able to run.
Speaker 1: You have two working arms, two working legs. Peter Low
Speaker 1: would fucking kill for that. Yeah, And I was like,
Speaker 1: you're right. We would always run it, doing it knowing
Speaker 1: that Peter Low could do it. And if Peter Low
Speaker 1: can do it, then we're going to do.
Speaker 2: It as well. That's pretty encouraged. I'd love to know
Speaker 2: where Peter Low is. My mum was trying to google
Speaker 2: in my class. I think he's an accountant really, but
Speaker 2: it was amazing he was. He could have easily have
Speaker 2: sat out the cross country totally, but every single year
Speaker 2: he fucking did it.
Speaker 3: Just got it done, got it done.
Speaker 2: That's just like, did you tell that story of Marley?
Speaker 1: And I said, Marley, let me tell you the story
Speaker 1: of Peter Low. And she was like, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about. I was like, Brookfield Primary School.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what you would have been thinking.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you're so lucky to be able
Speaker 1: to go out there and you can run. You're so blessed.
Speaker 1: She was, I don't know if the story was really hidden. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And every morning she'd fucking be in tears because I'm like,
Speaker 1: don't forget, you've got cross country.
Speaker 3: So you kept spooking with the cross country yeah, wa,
Speaker 3: like that's tomorrow.
Speaker 2: With the pigs with the megaphone.
Speaker 1: They got to start training. So this morning was the
Speaker 1: day of cross country today. Today, I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be there because I think if I'm
Speaker 1: there she's more inclined to not want to do it,
Speaker 1: and I want to be with me, you know what
Speaker 1: kids are?
Speaker 2: Then like that, April cried at the cross country for
Speaker 2: what because she was so sad because all the kids
Speaker 2: that didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1: Okay, good to know that it's not just Marley, No,
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 3: She felt like it was a form of torture. Don't
Speaker 3: maybe do it?
Speaker 2: And then like some kids thrive off that sort of
Speaker 2: ship Likesca loves that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1: But this morning we were like putting on her socks
Speaker 1: and shoes.
Speaker 3: She was like, I don't want to do it. I'm like,
Speaker 3: you're fucking do it. Do it for Peterlo.
Speaker 2: So have we got a result yet?
Speaker 3: Oh you don't know it fucking got canceled cancer.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 3: She's probably like it's next term, the next time. So
Speaker 3: I guess I'm to train. I might'st all they do
Speaker 3: if anyone.
Speaker 2: How long is how long is you want? It's literally
Speaker 2: I want to say it's like three hundred meters? How
Speaker 2: just a kilometer? They gave us a breakdown.
Speaker 3: A kilometer, Yeah, yeah, a kilometer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're training for regionals. Bro.
Speaker 1: That is that is that is far does torture? Yeah,
Speaker 1: can we get the Department of Education inspecting your school?
Speaker 3: Northern Beaches?
Speaker 2: I reckon?
Speaker 3: Okay, well, okay, if you.
Speaker 2: Live a kilometer and your kid does, he's like four,
Speaker 2: he's silly, sicks man.
Speaker 3: Still very different. The Klombter's not that far. Dude, you're forty.
Speaker 2: Forty. If I'm forty, you're forty five.
Speaker 3: How does that make you feel?
Speaker 2: Stuff it?
Speaker 3: You're so close to fifty. It's like twelve more summers
Speaker 3: than Mars.
Speaker 2: Is like twice around thequadrangle? Quadrangle? Quadrangle?
Speaker 3: Is this math?
Speaker 2: Jesus so canceled? Going in next year? Do you do
Speaker 2: you know being a subscriber to someone who reads the newsletter?
Speaker 2: Do they do athletics to like some some stage.
Speaker 1: They do have an athletics carnival? Correct. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know when it is. I'll wait till my sister tells me.
Speaker 1: I have my goal for like my midyear goal is
Speaker 1: to get subscribed to the newsletter.
Speaker 2: How come you can't? What's this zeal?
Speaker 1: I try and on the website, put email in and
Speaker 1: it says we'll send you a link. Click the link
Speaker 1: and your subscribed. The link never comes I've never had
Speaker 1: the link. I've never I've tried someone at school going out.
Speaker 3: That's it. I don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not easy, right, Okay, Well I look forward
Speaker 2: to hearing the results of Marley's run.
Speaker 1: I will say that George the year threes, George is
Speaker 1: my nephew. They did it, They ran.
Speaker 3: How did you go?
Speaker 1: He came fourth? That's branding. But he had to let
Speaker 1: me just tell you, he had to go in the
Speaker 1: grade above because he started school late.
Speaker 3: So he's like.
Speaker 2: Nine to be fair. So if you had gone into
Speaker 2: his grade, yes, he was did.
Speaker 1: I dropped the kids off this morning and I brought
Speaker 1: George with me, and he was petrified, like because it
Speaker 1: was the year above, because he had to race against
Speaker 1: the older kids.
Speaker 3: Did you tell the Peterlow story? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And then you were like a young Mandy Jo who
Speaker 2: went to regionals one time ran with would you like
Speaker 2: me to tell them the story of ash Wicks who
Speaker 2: went to work? And yeah you should? What place did
Speaker 2: you come to? Ozzi's did not finish? I can't remember.
Speaker 2: I didn't like, I didn't win. I didn't win ausies clearly,
Speaker 2: no way. What did they come? I think in a
Speaker 2: four hundred. I got fourth. That's the closest shouse.
Speaker 3: Well, regionals you played before.
Speaker 1: Before I continue, I want to tell you something really quick.
Speaker 1: How much do you reckon? You spent on school uniforms
Speaker 1: for Oscar.
Speaker 2: No idea and April bought the original ones and then
Speaker 2: they have a second hand shop at the and it's
Speaker 2: dirt cheap, like five bucks for a pair. Shure.
Speaker 1: See I got they upsold me.
Speaker 2: I'm surprised by that. You're not easy to upsell. I
Speaker 2: know I panicked unless it's business class.
Speaker 1: Now how much so we made the mistake?
Speaker 3: Boys is easy. Boys?
Speaker 1: You give them shorts and a polo. Right, yeah, for
Speaker 1: girls is hard. Let me tell you. Let me take
Speaker 1: this is for maciek okay, well Macey and to school.
Speaker 3: She will have the.
Speaker 1: Option of a dress or a squort, skirt, shorts and
Speaker 1: a polo.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Marley was like I want the dress, and we're like, great,
Speaker 1: dress is beautiful, you can.
Speaker 3: Have the dress.
Speaker 2: I think may still go the dress to tell her
Speaker 2: to shut up.
Speaker 3: Okay, let me call her right now when she wants
Speaker 3: that dress. Don't do it.
Speaker 2: Don't do it.
Speaker 1: Because they all started on the dress and then all
Speaker 1: the older kids.
Speaker 2: Are in skirts. No squirts. Okay, that's just gonn take
Speaker 2: a little wile. Get my head around the scot scoort.
Speaker 1: A scort is a skirt, but shorts.
Speaker 2: Okay with you like jawns, like jean shorts, very good,
Speaker 2: very good, but they're called like you have to go
Speaker 2: in and ask for sports sneams, also jeekers.
Speaker 1: But I had to get Marlek. She now has these
Speaker 1: dresses that she won't wear, so I have to get
Speaker 1: her scorts. And Apollo and I went into the uniform
Speaker 1: shop this morning and I said, can I have two
Speaker 1: squats and two polos? And she was like, of course,
Speaker 1: and then she went for the brand new ones and
Speaker 1: I was like, but there was a line of people
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was, I panicked. I didn't
Speaker 1: ask for second one hundred bucks for two for two scots.
Speaker 1: It's such a raw two squats and two polows. It's
Speaker 1: a rawt but like you can pass them down a loller.
Speaker 2: I guess, thank you, But I know that we've got
Speaker 2: the winter uniform coming up. What's the winter uniform? I'm
Speaker 2: glad you asked. It's a whole new fucking uniform.
Speaker 3: Like pants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so pants it's a button up shirt for the boys,
Speaker 2: for the boys. What I think the shoes stay the same.
Speaker 2: I hope so. I would hope so, But otherwise I'm
Speaker 2: going to be out of pocket.
Speaker 3: Yeah, home was button up shirt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think. I think we're going to refuse.
Speaker 2: We've fucking pushed back on that dude pushing into a hole.
Speaker 2: If they want to make oscar run like four kilometers
Speaker 2: for cross country, allow that, but you've got to put
Speaker 2: your foot down, give.
Speaker 3: Him a bear of pants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I don't know. I just know that the
Speaker 2: secondhand stuff is so much cheaper.
Speaker 1: You've got a man, don't. They saw me and they were.
Speaker 3: They pulled your pants down as soon as you walked
Speaker 3: in here.
Speaker 1: I got bent over, bent over in front of it,
Speaker 1: in front No, she didn't even spit, she did even spit.
Speaker 1: Just bent me over in front of my child as well.
Speaker 1: Marley was like dad, and I was like, don't look
Speaker 1: at this.
Speaker 2: Molly May's like while he's spending. When I was asking
Speaker 2: for something, I got sucked by a pair of Scots. No,
Speaker 2: are they really long to oscar shorts like shawts? No?
Speaker 3: Three like three quarter they're like three quarters. They're like
Speaker 3: long shorts or short longs. We don't know, we've got
Speaker 3: to pull.
Speaker 2: The other day, he's like, can you do my string up?
Speaker 2: I was like yeah, but the things up here. I
Speaker 2: was pretty much doing up his drawstring and he's fucking
Speaker 2: up his chest.
Speaker 3: And that's probably why he came, because you know, the
Speaker 3: shoe fell off.
Speaker 2: It's different. It was a wardrobe malfunction of a different kind.
Speaker 2: With Oscar, we had our first parent teaching interview. You
Speaker 2: had your schedule, you wouldn't know.
Speaker 3: It's not in the newsletter or.
Speaker 5: The awkward silence. Now, it's really starting to make me
Speaker 5: feel weird. I'm trying, Ash. I know I'm doing a
Speaker 5: great dad. I'm doing the best that I can a
Speaker 5: great dad.
Speaker 2: And it's a school's fault that you can't get onto
Speaker 2: the news.
Speaker 1: I can't fucking I can't get in there. I can't subscrip.
Speaker 2: You and I are very different.
Speaker 1: It's like Bergheim nightclub. You can't get in, are you
Speaker 1: do you? You obviously have the big group chat. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I ignore that.
Speaker 2: Oh man. I was like Ashes left immediately before I
Speaker 2: even saw read one mess.
Speaker 1: People were asking you about lunchboxes and I was like,
Speaker 1: too hot, too hard.
Speaker 3: Okay, parent, teacher, have you been scheduleding for your parents?
Speaker 3: Had last week?
Speaker 2: You had your stuff? Me too? Yeah, it's quick. Do
Speaker 2: you think I suppose at the end of the term now,
Speaker 2: fucking hell, life goes fast. Oh man, it does go quick.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're only forty sorry, fine, Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have to get you.
Speaker 1: I don't know if Oscar was like this, Marley was
Speaker 1: really and it was it was me, Laura Marley was
Speaker 1: there and Mary's teacher, and Marley was being really silly,
Speaker 1: like in front of the teacher. Yeah, she was like
Speaker 1: she was she was like nervous, silly.
Speaker 2: Well, she was just being like like bum we we
Speaker 2: in front of the teacher. And I was like, what
Speaker 2: do you shut up?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, well, you know you're gonna
Speaker 1: behave and then she was like smack him in the face.
Speaker 3: It was they had the report out there.
Speaker 1: She was, you know when sometimes in front of other
Speaker 1: people she was being super silly, very I was embarrassed.
Speaker 1: That was.
Speaker 3: I was just embarrassed we didn't take Oscar. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3: I feel like they're better without.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean, no one wants to hear what
Speaker 2: someone has to say about you in front of you
Speaker 2: to someone else.
Speaker 1: It was it was a light touch. It was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like here's a picture that she drew. Yeah, Like,
Speaker 1: what do they say about Oscar?
Speaker 2: He's good, apparently he's really I don't know where who
Speaker 2: this kid is. Let's put it this way, I don't
Speaker 2: know who this He's really cool.
Speaker 3: He's s CR, isn't he s r C?
Speaker 2: As I was close, he's really Apparently, he's really kind,
Speaker 2: he's really helpful. He's really he's like really like picks
Speaker 2: up things really fast.
Speaker 1: I've been assaulted by Oscar. You tried to kidnap He's
Speaker 1: a violent young man. You tried to kidnap him.
Speaker 2: If anything, you should be embarrassed about that, because he
Speaker 2: beat the ship out of you.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, like all and all really really good, except like classic,
Speaker 2: my son does get distracted easily.
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, that makes total sense.
Speaker 2: But otherwise really good. But I felt like the whole
Speaker 2: thing was like really daunting, even for us. I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm nervous.
Speaker 3: What's a teacher like?
Speaker 2: So there's two teachers they do a job share for
Speaker 2: the first term because the regular teachers on long service, right,
Speaker 2: and one of them was heavily pregnant. I'm talking like
Speaker 2: that about like she's got just finishes up this week
Speaker 2: because she's gonna give birth to a child. And then
Speaker 2: both lovely. But I felt like it's the first time
Speaker 2: experiencing that, like as it was for you. But April
Speaker 2: and I both felt like it was nerve racking for
Speaker 2: some reason. I don't know why. Everything was fine, thank God,
Speaker 2: but like I can imagine, like if you've got like
Speaker 2: quite a naughty kid, it would be pretty daunting.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it'd be awful if that were struggling.
Speaker 2: Do you know what? I was really really nervous until
Speaker 2: I had to sit in one of those kids chairs
Speaker 2: and I thought, this is all silly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like your knees are up by you.
Speaker 2: I felt like I felt like I was getting in trouble.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh shit, And then I was like,
Speaker 3: this is a bit silly on this chair.
Speaker 1: I was I don't know the teacher listens to this podcast,
Speaker 1: but I was. After five minutes, I was kind of
Speaker 1: like I was struggling to stay focused.
Speaker 3: There you go.
Speaker 2: Now my teacher actually has a little thing for Maddie Ja.
Speaker 2: I gifted the Schools of books for book Fair? Did
Speaker 2: you give my calendar? I thought that was inappropriate, but actually,
Speaker 2: just on the calendar really quick. I went and dropped
Speaker 2: Macy off at her kindy and one of the teachers
Speaker 2: came up and said, Laurel's got one of your calendars
Speaker 2: in the staff room. She was gifted for christ Laurel
Speaker 2: was She was like, oh, I love Maddie j And
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, he's all right. He only made
Speaker 2: it to regionals, but yeah, you've got a big fan
Speaker 2: over there. Thank you.
Speaker 1: So maybe I should come to the next parent teachers,
Speaker 1: me and you two gay dads? Yeah, how is Macy?
Speaker 1: By the way, Macy's good.
Speaker 2: Macy has learned to toilet train herself somehow. I don't
Speaker 2: know how.
Speaker 3: Just one day she was like I'm finished, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, okay, good time. I was like, time to
Speaker 2: change and happy walking, and she's sitting on the toilet. Hm,
Speaker 2: I ordered she again, she's three and a bit.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's like prime potty training.
Speaker 2: But I didn't.
Speaker 3: I feel like she's watching Oscar.
Speaker 2: Dude, what it is?
Speaker 3: Oscar?
Speaker 1: He's now parenting your other child. Well that he's the
Speaker 1: man of the he you can start paying for ship.
Speaker 2: Then he was like for gods, But like I felt
Speaker 2: like I didn't like both my kids, I don't even
Speaker 2: think about like I didn't have to do any real
Speaker 2: toilet training, like like what other than going.
Speaker 3: We should we?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think Laura would always watch Marley and she'd be like,
Speaker 1: I want to do that, like I want to, I
Speaker 1: want to I want to experience that ride achievable goal
Speaker 1: I'm being on the toilet. So Lola was pretty easy
Speaker 1: even even now. I don't know if Macy's like this Lola.
Speaker 1: Whenever she's doing a little activity, she locks into it
Speaker 1: to the point where she pushes the needle very far
Speaker 1: when it comes to like knitting to wi. So she'll
Speaker 1: be coloring something in and she won't want to finish it,
Speaker 1: and she won't she won't want to go to the
Speaker 1: toilet until she's finished coloring in and then.
Speaker 3: And then she's like, ah still does that. He relisself.
Speaker 3: He was like drawing and he's like, I'm like, we're
Speaker 3: holding under your dig for mate, go.
Speaker 2: Into the piss and like, okay, we right back, and
Speaker 2: he sprinted off. Macy's doing obviously just all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: doing ships on the toilet, right, and then I'll be like.
Speaker 1: Still wiping though, right she no, She's banging on wiping
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what is going I got a check,
Speaker 1: which is weird.
Speaker 2: It's so weird, just like be like, come here and
Speaker 2: let me check your asshole. What's a fucking weird thing.
Speaker 3: Is It's weird when you come in there and you're like, alright,
Speaker 3: term for the asshole inspection. Don't know if I grab
Speaker 3: your toes?
Speaker 2: Hello, hello, oh my god, everything's everything seems to be
Speaker 2: on now cough.
Speaker 1: Sometimes Laola's like I've finished and I'm like, let me
Speaker 1: have a check.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this ship everywhere?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, it looks like when you used to when
Speaker 2: you're a kid, and then you get a drop of
Speaker 2: paint put it in a piece of paper and a
Speaker 2: butterfly butterfly and I'm like, did you wipe and Lalla's
Speaker 2: like yeah, yeah, wall and I'm like, God, you need help.
Speaker 2: And I'm waiting to go into the bathroom and just
Speaker 2: see a ship on the side of the fucking tour
Speaker 2: like oh yeah, just waiting for it. But she does
Speaker 2: this quirky thing where she'll be like daddy like yeah,
Speaker 2: She's like, can you get me a book and then
Speaker 2: I walked in and she was like, I didn't at
Speaker 2: this stage, I.
Speaker 3: Didn't know that she was on the tour.
Speaker 2: And I walked past the toll the doors wide open,
Speaker 2: like it looked at my right. And then she's like
Speaker 2: holding the book and I was like, what.
Speaker 3: The hell is? And then can she read? No?
Speaker 2: And then I was like what do you use the
Speaker 2: book for it?
Speaker 1: She just helps me relaxed, and I was like reading
Speaker 1: the Financial Times.
Speaker 2: And she does this weird She's doing this weird walk
Speaker 2: at the moment where it's like a real smug like
Speaker 2: like the like the daker on the shirts by the
Speaker 2: way shirts like that, where it's like she like struts
Speaker 2: off down the hallway like she's just successfully back a
Speaker 2: massive turn out.
Speaker 1: What is she reading the toilet?
Speaker 2: Oh? Just whatever book she can get a hand on.
Speaker 3: Good on her, Good on you.
Speaker 1: That's great, that's great parenting take for I love how
Speaker 1: you like, I don't know who's doing it. April's d
Speaker 1: like blood, sweat and tears, making sure that leaves rolled off,
Speaker 1: and you're like, it's she's just done it herself.
Speaker 3: Shout out to April.
Speaker 2: April, Sure did you ask Ash?
Speaker 1: We would normally do lies, but I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: rest lies for this week.
Speaker 3: Is that a lie?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: Gotcha? Gotcha? We're gonna rest lies.
Speaker 2: Ok.
Speaker 1: We're going to bring back lies next week.
Speaker 2: We are, but a little.
Speaker 1: Reminder that if you do have any lies, we wan't
Speaker 1: really obscure ones. You know, the crazy, the better send
Speaker 1: them through to us. But we're going to jump straight
Speaker 1: into listener questions, Ash, what precious thing you that's beautiful?
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you?
Speaker 1: Next question, what precious thing did you or your kids destroy?
Speaker 1: This is off the back of just little mentioned little
Speaker 1: nod to your dad destroying the art peace last week?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yes, I do have something before this
Speaker 2: as please. I hate to always flash back, but I can.
Speaker 1: I just say, don't you dare apologize for hating a
Speaker 1: flashback because I love them.
Speaker 2: Let's go right back. How old also was about oscars age.
Speaker 2: I lived in Narrabeen in what they call an asbestos house.
Speaker 2: It's funny because I live in asbestos house now, so
Speaker 2: I've gone full circle. They say, closed the circle. Here
Speaker 2: we are and my dad's quite an avid surfer. And
Speaker 2: when we were kids, we were all coming back from somewhere.
Speaker 2: I think it was like it must have been a
Speaker 2: weekend because no one was working, no one was at school.
Speaker 2: We had one family car. We went very well off,
Speaker 2: and I remember we did a surf check on the
Speaker 2: way home from wherever we were, and I recall Dad
Speaker 2: being like, it's good, got to get these kids home
Speaker 2: so that he can go. So we drove home. It
Speaker 2: had quite a long driveway out the side of the
Speaker 2: house that on the left side was a fence that was.
Speaker 3: Like just like a timber fence, and it's it was
Speaker 3: not the pretty side.
Speaker 2: Of the tim offence. You now, there's an ugly side.
Speaker 2: It was the ugly side because we're poor. Someone else
Speaker 2: payer defense, Okay, And I recall us driving up the
Speaker 2: driveway and getting out of the car.
Speaker 1: It can I will say, it is quite a flex
Speaker 1: to have a defence, to have the fence on the
Speaker 1: nice side.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's your fence situation?
Speaker 2: It's definitely nice. You're a nice guy.
Speaker 3: Look, it is the nice side on.
Speaker 2: Both sides of the house. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I know, sorry, must be very nice.
Speaker 1: So I don't know what it feels. I'm going to
Speaker 1: relate to your story, but I just I can't know,
Speaker 1: I don't get it and didn't get it to me
Speaker 1: feel poor.
Speaker 2: Anyway, So we've gone up. I am on the passenger
Speaker 2: side behind Mum in my chair.
Speaker 3: Anyway, so we've all gotten out of the car.
Speaker 2: And I was so so young, so there's like the
Speaker 2: memory is not completely clear, what it's hazy, But anyway,
Speaker 2: we've all gotten out of the car. Dad's put his
Speaker 2: board in the car and gone to reverse back down
Speaker 2: the driveway and and I don't know if you recall,
Speaker 2: on the poor side of the fence is where the
Speaker 2: posts are that keep the structural integrity of said fence.
Speaker 2: And the back door on the passenger side, which was
Speaker 2: my side, had been slightly left open, and he had
Speaker 2: reversed down the driveway, hence ripping the car door off.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, expensive exercise. So think about this. Think a
Speaker 2: four door car with three doors and a big hole
Speaker 2: where the fourth door is meant And how is the
Speaker 2: fence fence well built? The poor side the rich person
Speaker 2: that I was like, not my ridge side of the fence,
Speaker 2: and it was perfectly fine from what I recall, but
Speaker 2: it did it did rip the car door clean off. However,
Speaker 2: my as you can imagine, my dad was rope because
Speaker 2: there's two things that have happened here. He's missed the serve,
Speaker 2: which is probably the thing he was most upset about
Speaker 2: it in the end, and the car is missing a door,
Speaker 2: our only car that we have.
Speaker 3: That dad's source of getting to work.
Speaker 2: And I think at the time he had like three
Speaker 2: jobs because he worked in sales this time.
Speaker 3: Okay, so I apologize.
Speaker 2: So this was not this is pre sales rep days.
Speaker 2: No need to yell, Okay, I won't. I refuse not to.
Speaker 2: He had a couple of different jobs in different areas.
Speaker 2: But anyway, he was really ropeable about it, and he
Speaker 2: was ropeable about it for years.
Speaker 3: It was the sort of thing where they bring it.
Speaker 2: Back up all the time.
Speaker 1: He can I just can I just confirm for one second? Yes,
Speaker 1: was it your fault?
Speaker 3: Like was it? Were you in the was it?
Speaker 2: I'm imagining right now that everything's happening really quickly, your
Speaker 2: dad's like, get out of the fucking car, gotta go,
Speaker 2: gotta go.
Speaker 1: Maybe it'll happen too quick. You didn't get a chance.
Speaker 1: You're grade too, you're grade too, you're like seven.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was on my side, my door. Hence
Speaker 2: my fault.
Speaker 3: So I've no, no, no, no. Let me finish the story
Speaker 3: then we can ask questions. So it was I copped
Speaker 3: the blame because that's my door.
Speaker 2: That's unfair. Sorry, it's not unfair. I don't think it's
Speaker 2: unfair to It's an assumption. That's what that is, whether
Speaker 2: it's unfair or not.
Speaker 3: He assumed. He assumed, They all assumed.
Speaker 2: Everyone's assumed.
Speaker 1: If you're the driver, you check the doors before you drive.
Speaker 2: For years, it was brought up, always, always brought up
Speaker 2: for so long, come on, thank you, let go now,
Speaker 2: all the way until teenage years, where it was continually
Speaker 2: brought up to be it went from being like how
Speaker 2: pissed off they were about it and how much it
Speaker 2: costs them in the end to it being like an
Speaker 2: embarrassing story, like tell people ruin the family. I just
Speaker 2: did this somewhere around my sixteenth birthday. You didn't ruin
Speaker 2: the family, as you chose to ignore that. It's again,
Speaker 2: oh I missed. It's okay, around my sixteenth birthday an
Speaker 2: admission of someone admitted to actually doing it my sister.
Speaker 2: So back then, my sister has opened the door. Older
Speaker 2: sister got out on that side with me, left the
Speaker 2: door open. Wow, it ripped off. She pointed the finger
Speaker 2: at me. Fifteen years or something, I say, twelve years
Speaker 2: something like that. Ten twelve years had gone by her
Speaker 2: keeping her mouth shut, enjoying me being brought up for
Speaker 2: years and years.
Speaker 1: So she just stood there watching you get beaten, pretty
Speaker 1: much smacked up earlyhood.
Speaker 3: Where she has finally said it was me.
Speaker 1: What was the trigger point for her admitting I can't remember.
Speaker 3: I just the guilt was too much.
Speaker 2: I think that the guilt got to her evengual and
Speaker 2: it might have got to the point where you.
Speaker 1: Would hold onto that to your deathbed. Really, yeah, you
Speaker 1: would expect like if she was about to go, she'd
Speaker 1: be like, by the.
Speaker 3: Way the car door was meat, Yeah, fully, what has happened?
Speaker 1: I was unsure, like what why she wanted to clear
Speaker 1: a conscience?
Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I mean, we're still talking. This is
Speaker 2: fifteen years ago that she cleared a conscience. And I
Speaker 2: was like, I remember for I remember for so long
Speaker 2: it was like I because the car was fucking ruined,
Speaker 2: pretty much like it was an old car anyway, and
Speaker 2: it was like I was always the kid in the
Speaker 2: family who ruined the car. My sister could never do
Speaker 2: any wrong. It shaped the rest of my childhood. I
Speaker 2: reckon because it was like, I remember when you.
Speaker 3: Fuck the car up, your piece of shit. Shit, not
Speaker 3: that my.
Speaker 2: Parents spoke to me like that. Mom might have that
Speaker 2: would yeah wow, but yeah for so long, and my
Speaker 2: sister would do the they're like, you remember that, and
Speaker 2: then eventually, like I.
Speaker 1: Said, how's your relationship now with your sister?
Speaker 2: That's great, We're great.
Speaker 3: We're great friends until I get her back eventually.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's a scarring moment. But I was the
Speaker 2: precious item that I had ruined of my parents.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry you had to experience that. It's like
Speaker 1: those stories of the person who was like incorrectly charged
Speaker 1: with murder and they spent the whole life in prison.
Speaker 3: That's exactly how I felt.
Speaker 2: I felt like I was incarcerated an innocent man. Yes,
Speaker 2: I felt like it was In the move the Hurricane, No, okay,
Speaker 2: it's let me just give you the just really quick.
Speaker 1: It's quite a long about a car door that gets broken.
Speaker 2: It's about a car door that gets written. It's about
Speaker 2: a boxer who gets framed for a murder. A long
Speaker 2: time ago, and there was a really famous song called
Speaker 2: the Hurricane.
Speaker 1: To me right now, I'm getting nothing but one word
Speaker 1: screaming into my vision.
Speaker 2: What do you mean, Hollywood movie imagine they're making a
Speaker 2: blockbuster movie out of me ruining the card?
Speaker 1: This has got I mean, I think screenwriters would be
Speaker 1: salivating right now.
Speaker 2: Years I lived in shamee I lived. I was suppressed
Speaker 2: for years in my own family home.
Speaker 3: Yeah, betrayed.
Speaker 2: I was betrayed by your own legend. What I have
Speaker 2: never been able to trust ever again?
Speaker 3: Anyone? Anyone?
Speaker 2: Wow, the sight of a car door like it s inspiral,
Speaker 2: sends me spiraling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, every time you shot a car door flashbacks.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, I'm like every time you see a fence,
Speaker 2: anytime someone weirs about me slamming their door, I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: you gotta be sure, you gotta be careful, and you
Speaker 2: gotta be sure.
Speaker 1: This has got to be made into a movie. Surely
Speaker 1: we should do it.
Speaker 3: It'll we know.
Speaker 1: A start Man Arrival was a hurricane based on a
Speaker 1: true story.
Speaker 2: It is a true story, but there you go, And
Speaker 2: there was a ten minute song the was it. This
Speaker 2: is the story of the hurricane, but this is.
Speaker 3: A story of a car door.
Speaker 2: How's the go again, Jess, can you just get that
Speaker 2: song up really quick?
Speaker 3: How does it go?
Speaker 2: Again?
Speaker 3: It's not important anyway. It's goot feature film written all
Speaker 3: over it.
Speaker 2: Who would play me? Probably young?
Speaker 1: You have to play yourself, dude. Probably with Ai you could.
Speaker 1: They could do like a young version of yourself. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't need to.
Speaker 2: Have like an upper up and what up and coming
Speaker 2: young actor to play me. That's what I want, okay,
Speaker 2: and then the teenage version of me. Don't make him
Speaker 2: look as awkwards idea as a teenager. I want like
Speaker 2: a nice, pristine teenager.
Speaker 3: I'll do it the pristine teenager, can we That's a
Speaker 3: bit much.
Speaker 1: Very very very Harvey Weinstein of you.
Speaker 2: That's what I was going for.
Speaker 1: There's two things that I I originally said that in
Speaker 1: my mind. So I didn't break anything. Actually I did
Speaker 1: break a few things.
Speaker 3: Just twenty four other women's hearts on the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Jesus, A couple of things, just old old note. We
Speaker 1: we ended up having our neighbors. It wasn't like a
Speaker 1: mountain bike. It was like a cruiser bike. Did a
Speaker 1: few jumps on it.
Speaker 2: Sick.
Speaker 3: I used to I used to was. I was very bad.
Speaker 3: I used to love riding bikes. But I would always
Speaker 3: like trying and hit jumps fall off.
Speaker 2: You got to hit jumps, you got hit the jump.
Speaker 2: What's the point of having a bike if you're not
Speaker 2: hitting jump?
Speaker 1: Well, said sick, So broke the bike. My dad when
Speaker 1: I was this is like really young. My dad had
Speaker 1: these machetes.
Speaker 3: Okay, what's the name ivan that.
Speaker 1: He had bought he was working in Pappa Ne, Guinea.
Speaker 1: There were like these like carved machetes. They were like
Speaker 1: I can't again, very hazy.
Speaker 3: This is when I'm let's hope. So that's like six.
Speaker 2: So when you do get questioned about the machetes.
Speaker 1: And I remember they were like not machetes, you would
Speaker 1: use the old machetes that would be like on a mantelpiece
Speaker 1: on display.
Speaker 3: In a psychopath's house.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, And I have this memory with my oldest
Speaker 1: sister or brother where we took the machetes. We went
Speaker 1: down into the backyard there was a big rock and
Speaker 1: we would then smash the rock with a machete and
Speaker 1: it made little sparks and we were like, how cool
Speaker 1: is this. We're making fire And we just like bashed
Speaker 1: the hell out of the machete until they were all
Speaker 1: like dinted in from the rock because we like making sparks,
Speaker 1: and then we just put them back until my dad
Speaker 1: came home and was like, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 3: Okay, you ruined the man's hobby pretty much his prize possessions.
Speaker 2: Do we know what they cost? Though?
Speaker 3: No I don't, but they were priceless. Yeah, why do
Speaker 3: kids do dumb shit like that?
Speaker 1: Then I will just say as well, last thing, this
Speaker 1: one is etched into my mind. We used to have
Speaker 1: a ride on lawnmower shut up, and I used to
Speaker 1: really love the ride on lawnmower. It's very slow, but
Speaker 1: we had at one point a little slope and.
Speaker 3: To hit the jumps on that too. Well, I.
Speaker 1: Got the hose out and we're like with then a
Speaker 1: bit of an incline. I wet it so all the
Speaker 1: grass was like real greasy, and then I would hit
Speaker 1: it at pace and then turn and drift and do
Speaker 1: a bit sick that is good. And then I did
Speaker 1: that a number of times until I kind of went
Speaker 1: faster and faster and sharper and sharper, until I ended
Speaker 1: up rolling the ride on lawnmower down the hill and
Speaker 1: it ended up upside down. Luckily I didn't have the
Speaker 1: blades on and I jumped off the right on lawn
Speaker 1: mower so I was not crushed, so like full action
Speaker 1: movie jump with action packs.
Speaker 3: And then you're like, that was sick, Let's do it again.
Speaker 1: And then I was like I couldn't I couldn't lift,
Speaker 1: I couldn't correct the lawnmower it and I think I
Speaker 1: just left home. I just my mum was away and
Speaker 1: my dad was coming home, and I was like, well
Speaker 1: for me, yeah, see guys, my backpack off to the
Speaker 1: bus and I went to a MAT's house.
Speaker 2: A police weren't falsely accused. Man, I've got a question
Speaker 2: for you. I know we're not really in the you
Speaker 2: know we did last week talk about Christmas and the
Speaker 2: guy that had the fucking Christmas music on.
Speaker 1: Yes, but in terms of gift giving, of course, birthdays,
Speaker 1: birthdays are.
Speaker 3: They do happen throughout the year.
Speaker 2: I am aware of that. Actually, sorry, I didn't mean
Speaker 2: to just a reminder. I did remind you about Laura's
Speaker 2: birthday the other day.
Speaker 1: Yes, when's your birthday again?
Speaker 2: I'm not telling you because you forget every year and
Speaker 2: you're like, what July seven.
Speaker 1: July six, your April. You're coming up. I'm going to
Speaker 1: missage April.
Speaker 2: You're the worst. What are the worst you? What are
Speaker 2: the worst presents you can give a child? It's birthday, Christmas, regardless,
Speaker 2: just presents. Top three? Give me your top three worst.
Speaker 1: I'm going to start with number three. A carryoke machine.
Speaker 1: That was my number two.
Speaker 3: I think they're like they're a nightmare.
Speaker 2: Well, I told that story that I got one from
Speaker 2: my mother in law and I hit it and we
Speaker 2: never and the kids never asked about it ever again.
Speaker 1: You'll play with it for a day, a week at
Speaker 1: the most, and then you got you got to bury.
Speaker 2: That one day it was gone. Literally it was Boxing day,
Speaker 2: and I'm like this.
Speaker 1: There is one thing that kids do not need. It's
Speaker 1: a piece of equipment to amplify their voice.
Speaker 3: You might as well give them a drum kit.
Speaker 1: Yes, Like I say, for anyone out there, don't give
Speaker 1: karaoke machines to kids.
Speaker 2: No good one. What's your do you want to do?
Speaker 1: What's your number three?
Speaker 2: My number three is hot wheels tracks. I thought that
Speaker 2: would be a great gift in theory. Yeah, when I
Speaker 2: first heard Oscar, I was like, oh, who love hot
Speaker 2: wheels track? But there's a couple of things with them.
Speaker 2: The firstly is the hot wheels. Cars get left on
Speaker 2: the ground and in the dark if their flips upside down,
Speaker 2: eat a couple of plastic sharp wheels. And man, you
Speaker 2: know when people are talking about stepping on blocks, step
Speaker 2: on a hot wheels car, bro oh my god, that's
Speaker 2: one thing and the other thing is and it might
Speaker 2: just be my kid. The frustration because they car never
Speaker 2: makes it to the end of the track, or the
Speaker 2: track bits get lost, or he'll be.
Speaker 3: Like, I'm going to do this track and it's gonna work.
Speaker 2: And because they don't understand physics at that age, well
Speaker 2: neither do I. It I know what's kind of going
Speaker 2: to work and what's not going to work. The frustration
Speaker 2: just I just end up. I've hidden them. I've got
Speaker 2: a box full of them, and I've hidden them because
Speaker 2: it's the worst.
Speaker 1: My second, my number two on my list slime that
Speaker 1: is bad. Slime is just like, if there is one,
Speaker 1: if anyone brings in slime into this household, within seconds,
Speaker 1: I'm putting that in the fucking bin.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna hard slime through it.
Speaker 1: Because it just like it gets everywhere, gets on the
Speaker 1: carpet gets in the kid's hair, stinks.
Speaker 3: That smell it.
Speaker 1: Like it just ends up every where and then it
Speaker 1: dries hard. It's it's hard to get off.
Speaker 3: How would you define that smell.
Speaker 2: It's like a chemical chemical, synthetic rubbery concox.
Speaker 1: It's nuclear. That's a very good word for its nuclear.
Speaker 1: It's essentially that you're bringing in nuclear waste into a household.
Speaker 2: And usually because it's slime and it's meant to be
Speaker 2: appillion with kids, it's bright colored and the kids don't
Speaker 2: get it, like, they don't they don't know how to
Speaker 2: play with it. Okay, they don't know how it works.
Speaker 2: How does slime work? It's like what are you trying
Speaker 2: to what are you trying to achieve with slime? It's
Speaker 2: like even a big thing, a chewing gum, like it
Speaker 2: just end up fucking everywhere.
Speaker 1: And no need for it. There should be. Hey, there's
Speaker 1: an election coming up. One thing that I want to
Speaker 1: have as a rule legislation ban slime.
Speaker 2: Will stop full stop. Yeah, there's a whole aisle dedicated
Speaker 2: to slime in like some shops, the slim shop. Now aha,
Speaker 2: number two for me? Do you know what I hate?
Speaker 3: Going in again? In theory, it's like this would be cool.
Speaker 3: I also going to love this kids.
Speaker 2: You anything remote control drives me fucking wild.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: I think the first time that you get given a
Speaker 2: remote control calf, your kid does and you you're in
Speaker 2: charge of setting up, it's like the novelty wars wears
Speaker 2: off real quick before it's like annoying. They usually make
Speaker 2: annoying sounds. The batteries never last that long, are expensive,
Speaker 2: and then there's the meltdown when you don't have the
Speaker 2: appropriate batteries, and I just think you're setting the parent
Speaker 2: up there for a lot of failures after you've given
Speaker 2: the initial cool looking gift of the rally car. And
Speaker 2: I was like that sick And then he crashes into
Speaker 2: something and it breaks and and he's like, oh, I
Speaker 2: need to do one.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that that's very.
Speaker 1: Anything remote control. It's simple, okay. My number one number
Speaker 1: one melted bead kits. Oh you know, you know the
Speaker 1: ones where you have like a triangle shape and then
Speaker 1: you put the beads on and you iron it like
Speaker 1: it's so delicate, it's so near, and but I can
Speaker 1: barely finish the shape, and trying to get a toddler
Speaker 1: not toddler that because are not toddler. Sorry, I apologize
Speaker 1: to try and get my child under the age of
Speaker 1: ten to complete that.
Speaker 2: Like it's just it's essentially it becomes a point where
Speaker 2: you're just playing with it.
Speaker 1: I'm doing and the beads end up fucking everywhere.
Speaker 2: There's a moment when done, when you're ironing, like the
Speaker 2: choices of I made in life for this to be
Speaker 2: what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you in those those cupboards down there,
Speaker 1: how many times I've gone to get something out, like
Speaker 1: a charger and then I've hit the bead bowl and
Speaker 1: beads of bloody who When the kids are like, we
Speaker 1: play with the beads, it's it's just it's awful. It's
Speaker 1: guaranteed to end up in tears. The kids are frustrated,
Speaker 1: they're annoyed, and then like when you do iron it
Speaker 1: and then they're like, they're not happy with it.
Speaker 2: It's just no beads. I'm gonna give you my number
Speaker 2: one now please. And I received this from my sister,
Speaker 2: the one who blamed me for the car thing.
Speaker 3: So thanks, Beth. A kazoo go on.
Speaker 2: So A kazoo is a small mouth whistle sort of
Speaker 2: thing that goes.
Speaker 1: Is it kind of like they had the world Cupella.
Speaker 3: It's like a minivozella and the kazoo family.
Speaker 2: It's it's it's one of the kazoo relatives.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's an offspring of the kazoo.
Speaker 2: I thought say so.
Speaker 3: It's like a baby kazoo.
Speaker 2: Right, no way, vizella sorry, baby Vouverzella is a 's evolution,
Speaker 2: the evolution of life. Where we going? Where am I
Speaker 2: going with it? Let me continue though. My child, Oscar
Speaker 2: was two for his second birthday. Got him. It's like
Speaker 2: a metal kazoo, and the problem is with the kazoo,
Speaker 2: is it doesn't. It's like a harmonica, also part of
Speaker 2: the Ververzella family. It's actually the distant cousin of the kazoo.
Speaker 2: It's a wind instrument. Would you just like the trumpet anyway? Sorry,
Speaker 2: we could go on all that. With a harmonica, you
Speaker 2: can blow out and you can suck in. Yes, and
Speaker 2: it makes noise. Same with the kazoo, but it's more annoying.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, man, if we get insert a kazoo here, yes,
Speaker 2: that'd be great.
Speaker 6: Oh my dad, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, fine, fine,
Speaker 6: fine one, I like dressing dance prettings.
Speaker 2: But she brought him a kazoo for a second birthday.
Speaker 3: But the problem with second birthday, Yeah, but she did.
Speaker 2: It from on purpose, you know why? She did it, asshole,
Speaker 2: to annoy the shit out of me. And a week
Speaker 2: later I was like, this fucking kazoo. I've got to
Speaker 2: get rid of it. But the problem is I kept
Speaker 2: throwing it away and it kept reappearing.
Speaker 3: You know how, like just was a cursed kazoo.
Speaker 2: It was like a boomerang, not related to the kazoo.
Speaker 2: Just to clarify, that's more of a hobby throwing hobby.
Speaker 2: No wind instrument with a It just kept turning back
Speaker 2: up and I think it was crushed.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 2: It continued to make noise, and all what happen is
Speaker 2: at like six o'clock in the morning, Oscar would like
Speaker 2: wake up and I'd hear this in my own personal hell.
Speaker 2: So if you're listening to this list, do not buy
Speaker 2: unless you really hate.
Speaker 3: Them A kazoo. A kazoo for a child.
Speaker 2: Also vi visella love that in that nothing nothing in
Speaker 2: the related instrument. Please unless they're talented at.
Speaker 3: It, which remember, my kid is talented at that age.
Speaker 3: My dad got a harmonica.
Speaker 2: My dad plays guitar, and he wanted to play guitar
Speaker 2: and harmonica at the same time, which I don't know
Speaker 2: if you've seen the contraption that that is goes over
Speaker 2: your neck and it holds the Dylan. Yeah, very good reference.
Speaker 2: Thank you, very very good. You've seen it. And he
Speaker 2: got a harmonica. I remember my sister we hated it.
Speaker 2: We all hated it. But I think he knew what
Speaker 2: he was doing as well. Do I just live in
Speaker 2: a family full of evil people where he would just
Speaker 2: be like eventually we had to hide it from him.
Speaker 2: He's a fully grown man. To talk about full circle,
Speaker 2: I'm going full circle again again, cursed by win Win
Speaker 2: related instruments.
Speaker 1: And on that note, it's been a pleasure. It's been
Speaker 1: a joy. If you have any listener questions, please submit
Speaker 1: them to us either on social media two Doting Dads Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.
Speaker 2: Give us your lists, your list of toys that you
Speaker 2: should just well, things you just shouldn't get a child. Weapons,
Speaker 2: don't get them weapons, no michetes. I wouldn't recommend it.
Speaker 2: They'll end up damaged or they'll kill each other just
Speaker 2: don't get any like ka Zoo. And if you enjoyed
Speaker 2: this episode, please leave a review, subscribe, send to a friend,
Speaker 2: whatever you like, or you can join us on socials.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads on Instagram, TikTok. And of course I
Speaker 2: said that before. I just I said that.
Speaker 1: I've already said to social media.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna through a lot of trauma these days.
Speaker 2: Bro repeat things I said it.
Speaker 1: And if you want to leave us a review, subscribe,
Speaker 1: comment very let us know.
Speaker 2: That's yeah.
Speaker 1: Hey, we'll get out of here. Is anything else?
Speaker 3: I think that's it. We'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2: Bye. You are with another man? How's it go again?
Speaker 2: I can't remember?
Speaker 1: He was in the army, he drove tanks, gaba.
Speaker 2: It was it again? You were with another man? Hang,
Speaker 2: and I'll think of it that it's not your best?
Speaker 2: What's that? Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
Speaker 2: of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see
Speaker 2: and community. We pay our respects to their elders past
Speaker 2: and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
Speaker 2: Torrestrate Islander peoples today.