Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money podcast that
Speaker 4: makes personal finance fun even on Fridays. It is our
Speaker 4: favorite day of the week because we get the team
Speaker 4: together and celebrate you ow incredible. She's on the Money
Speaker 4: community today, Mis Just Greegie is going to be sharing
Speaker 4: her favorite money wins from our community with you. Miss
Speaker 4: beck Sayed is going to be sharing her broke tips,
Speaker 4: and we're going to be helping to answer a juicy
Speaker 4: money dilemma, which this week is all about what to
Speaker 4: do when you find out your colleague is doing the
Speaker 4: same job as you, but is getting paid more to
Speaker 4: do it and something that you slid into our DMS
Speaker 4: about this week, we're talking about whether you should ask
Speaker 4: your partner to stop going to the bank of Mum
Speaker 4: and Dad.
Speaker 2: Happy Hallowekend, Happy Halloweekend. That's the theme. Absolutely, it is.
Speaker 5: I've never heard that before. That's clever.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's it. It's a big un mate.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what was the thing. It's my wedding anniversary. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we can what secret. It could great either way because
Speaker 2: some people celebrated last weekend because this obviously Halloween this
Speaker 2: week is in the middle of the week, so it's
Speaker 2: take your pug.
Speaker 4: Jess has just been like both, yeah, absolutely, I love that.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 4: In not so spooky news, what is my wedding anniversary
Speaker 4: this weekend? And I'm so excited about that two years.
Speaker 4: But get this, you guys are gonna be like, sorry,
Speaker 4: what the hotel that we got married at. We were
Speaker 4: like so excited because we thought this is going to
Speaker 4: be lame, but we could like go for a stay
Speaker 4: k on our anniversary and as our family grows, like
Speaker 4: take take the kids and stuff. So we had booked
Speaker 4: this stayk for a couple of nights at the hotel
Speaker 4: that we got married at, and we were so excited
Speaker 4: to take Carvey. And then they called us and said
Speaker 4: they don't accept children at the hotel anymore.
Speaker 5: What I say, I haven't.
Speaker 4: I don't know what if anything happened, but they were like, yeah,
Speaker 4: you can't bring your kid, and I'm like, my kid
Speaker 4: is nearly eight months old. I will not just be
Speaker 4: like leaving him at home.
Speaker 2: Oh we're not going. We're not going. We're just gonna
Speaker 2: hang out. It's fine. But you know when you're just.
Speaker 5: Like, that's so strange.
Speaker 4: Rue. Also, I want to know what happened that made
Speaker 4: you ban kids in general.
Speaker 2: You just know that someone's kid was like running up
Speaker 2: the whole way, smearing shit on the walls or like
Speaker 2: something extreme. Yeah, because if it wasn't like fair enough,
Speaker 2: if it was a kid free hotel to begin with,
Speaker 2: like an adults only remember I have my wedding there,
Speaker 2: get the kids everywhere.
Speaker 5: I'm really curious to know.
Speaker 2: I just need to know the goss. Anyway.
Speaker 4: Anyway, moving on, we have some new five star reviews. Guys,
Speaker 4: who was just three cheek do you want to start
Speaker 4: us off this week. Absolutely.
Speaker 2: My one is from Kate cute name, and she said,
Speaker 2: I love this podcast so much. It has taught me
Speaker 2: so much about money that I wish I knew years ago.
Speaker 2: I love you so much better late than never. Highly
Speaker 2: recommend you. It is so sweet.
Speaker 4: I was in Spotlight yesterday and I met one of
Speaker 4: ow she's on the Money community members, and I looked
Speaker 4: like a bogan. I was wearing my socks and my
Speaker 4: birken stocks together I call them burken socks, and I
Speaker 4: was buying embroidery thread and did not look my best
Speaker 4: and she.
Speaker 2: Was like, Hi, what are you embroidering?
Speaker 4: I saw it on your and making Santa sacks. Also,
Speaker 4: I really like you know how online. I don't know
Speaker 4: if anybody else is as chronically online as me, but
Speaker 4: I've seen a lot of girls buy like jeans that
Speaker 4: have like little flower embroidery patches on their like jean
Speaker 4: backs and pockets and stuff, and I think it's so
Speaker 4: cute and they're so expensive, and I'm like, can't be
Speaker 4: that hard?
Speaker 2: Could you do it? I could do it myself.
Speaker 4: And thread, like colored thread is like a dollar fifty each,
Speaker 4: So I was like this could be me. And also
Speaker 4: I have ADHD, so that's my current hyperfixation.
Speaker 2: That's my hobby.
Speaker 4: I'll probably have a new one in two weeks. Thank
Speaker 4: you great.
Speaker 5: Well, before you get there, can you embroider me some jeans?
Speaker 2: I would? Yeah, let me learn first.
Speaker 4: I mean I have done embroidery before, but like, let
Speaker 4: me just brush up on my skills and then you
Speaker 4: let me know what you want and I'll.
Speaker 2: Do it for you perfect, exactly exactly.
Speaker 4: I want to know what's your five star review that
Speaker 4: you're going to share this week?
Speaker 2: Beck?
Speaker 5: Okay, so this one comes from Brook. Brook says, I'm
Speaker 5: absolutely loving this podcast. It's all I want to listen
Speaker 5: to twenty four to seven. I appreciate the way Victoria
Speaker 5: Devine explains complicated and confusing in brackets for someone with
Speaker 5: no financial background subjects in a way that is simple
Speaker 5: and easy to understand. Thank you so how nice is that?
Speaker 4: I know?
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for this amazing resource. Fabulous she's
Speaker 5: on the Money team.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 4: Also, there's like seven hundred plus episodes, so we can
Speaker 4: be in your ears all the time. Also, I wouldn't
Speaker 4: wish that upon anybody like.
Speaker 2: That's fair if you want it, but maybe you don't
Speaker 2: want it.
Speaker 4: Also, I mean, thank you for the five star review.
Speaker 4: I really appreciate it. But there are a lot of
Speaker 4: other good podcasts. My favorite one is Morbid. You should
Speaker 4: like mix it up a little bit because only wanting
Speaker 4: to listen to this girl.
Speaker 5: She's only human.
Speaker 4: True, it's true, It's true. I have one though. This
Speaker 4: one's from Marie Kim. She says, love the empowering energy.
Speaker 4: I'm a long way from being a millennial. My thirty
Speaker 4: something daughter put me on too, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: But I figure it's never too late to learn about
Speaker 4: money and finance. It's so true, so right. Financial literacy
Speaker 4: is so important for men, and no matter what age
Speaker 4: you are or what your current knowledge level is, this
Speaker 4: is a fantastic podcast. Lifelong learning is the key that
Speaker 4: is so cool. Cur Hi, Everyone's welcome. I feel like
Speaker 4: you guys might have noticed we have been moving away
Speaker 4: from the Hello, We'll welcome to She's on the Money,
Speaker 4: the podcast for millennials. Yeah, because I'm like, our community
Speaker 4: is so diverse. Yeah, like, And over the last what
Speaker 4: six months or so, we've been like the podcast that
Speaker 4: makes personal finance fun. And I think that that's really like,
Speaker 4: it's important to point that out as well, because we're
Speaker 4: not just for millennials, like, we have so many younger
Speaker 4: people and also so many older people, like we have
Speaker 4: women in their seventies. And I think we had a
Speaker 4: message what was it like a couple of months ago,
Speaker 4: and they said, my grammar, who's eighty one, listened to
Speaker 4: your podcast and thought it was really fun.
Speaker 2: No, I was that cool? Iconic? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 4: It's probably an untapped retiree market we could get in retirement.
Speaker 2: Not much yet, but hopefully soon. We're working on it.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: Let's go on to the money wins from our community
Speaker 4: this week, Jess, what are you bringing to the table
Speaker 4: wearing a witch's hat?
Speaker 2: Oh bridy. Firstly, this week I have went from Holly
Speaker 2: who said, because if she's in the money's recommendation to
Speaker 2: build an emergency fund. For the first time ever, I
Speaker 2: was able to pay an unexpected three hundred dollars bill
Speaker 2: that popped off with cash instead of putting it on
Speaker 2: my credit card.
Speaker 4: Is so cool and you're not just staying out of debt.
Speaker 4: How good does it feel?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: Holy moly, I've got the cash for that, And that's
Speaker 4: that's me changing my money story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and seeing people We're getting around Holly on the thread,
Speaker 2: which was we love to see it. Next, I've got
Speaker 2: a money win from Lauren, who said I told my
Speaker 2: boss that I was working on saving some money to
Speaker 2: buy some new furniture, and she offered me an extra
Speaker 2: twelve hour shift to pick up.
Speaker 4: Oh thank you you that that's a photo of a
Speaker 4: truck that was taila he had.
Speaker 2: No break let. Next, I've got a money win from Katie,
Speaker 2: who said she recommended our fabulous celebrant to two couples
Speaker 2: who we know, who both ended up booking her for
Speaker 2: their wedding. The celebrant ended up sending us a hundred
Speaker 2: dollars restaurant vout chat. I so a thank you. That's
Speaker 2: it's so sweet go out for dinner on us.
Speaker 4: You're a new couple and probably spent all your money
Speaker 4: on your wedding anyway.
Speaker 2: I was just like, so thoughtful and sweet. Next, I've
Speaker 2: got a money win from Sarah, who said she saved
Speaker 2: ten grand off of their new shed build just by
Speaker 2: getting an extra quote. She said she usually gets three,
Speaker 2: but this time around, she just ended up getting four,
Speaker 2: and the last one that came in was ten thousand
Speaker 2: dollars cheaper than all others, more than you think.
Speaker 4: See, I need to go get some driveway quotes there
Speaker 4: you go, Yeah, because like ours came in and I
Speaker 4: was like, absolutely not. And so right now I have
Speaker 4: like a derelict front yard because we've started demolishing. And
Speaker 4: then we realized that the quotes that came back, I
Speaker 4: was like, I am not willing to pay that expended
Speaker 4: absolutely not, yeah, but just exorbitant. Like I know that
Speaker 4: putting in a new driveway, it's not going to be
Speaker 4: a cheap yest. Yeah, but like, don't take the mickey,
Speaker 4: you know, sure, I'm not going to play with you.
Speaker 4: If you're not going to play nice chop around.
Speaker 2: Well, I suggest at least four at least for Sarah's recommendation.
Speaker 2: So there you go, orrib what else have you got?
Speaker 2: And lastly, this week, I've got a money in from
Speaker 2: Maddie who said a brow salon that she's visited in
Speaker 2: the past posted on the Instagram story because they had
Speaker 2: a couple of free slots for a brow and lash
Speaker 2: appointment if you were happy to be a content model
Speaker 2: because they needed it for the Instagram tape. Pics at
Speaker 2: any time. Absolutely so Maddie swooped in, snagged a booking
Speaker 2: and saved herself one hundred and twenty bucks one hundred
Speaker 2: and twenty dollars because I guess it was a free
Speaker 2: She's going to retreat so expensive. Do you guys remember Beck,
Speaker 2: You're probably going to be like nah, never when like
Speaker 2: a full set of nails was like thirty dollars crazy?
Speaker 2: Do you remember when you used to get them.
Speaker 4: Like in like end of high school, like thirty bucks
Speaker 4: and you get there these chunky, aresycrylics terrible? You know
Speaker 4: the ones, the really thick wide Yeah, or they sound
Speaker 4: so like they were thirty dollars. Yeah, they'd be like
Speaker 4: how much now plasticky? Oh you're paying like seventy dollars
Speaker 4: at least to get stuff nowadays black material. And I
Speaker 4: mean we live in like what's central Melbourne, so like
Speaker 4: it might be less out of Melbourne, but like it's
Speaker 4: I'm not saying it's not worth it, like absolutely not,
Speaker 4: Like still pay your nail text they deserve it. But
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, like just remember when
Speaker 4: things didn't feel as so, Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's why I do my nails at home because.
Speaker 4: I do my nails at home as well, and I
Speaker 4: love it, but I do pay for my brows and lashes.
Speaker 4: It's not something I'm willing to mess around with. We
Speaker 4: all know i'd mess it around for real bad. Yeah,
Speaker 4: come in with no eyebrows and you'd be like I
Speaker 4: thought they were tattooed on Victoria.
Speaker 2: And I did for me this week. I love that. Beck.
Speaker 2: Have you got some little broke tips? If so, what
Speaker 2: are they?
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 5: Actually, just really quickly, I almost had a money lost
Speaker 5: this week, and I just I feel that it's important
Speaker 5: to tell in case anyone else gets one of these.
Speaker 5: So I got an email the other day and it
Speaker 5: was like Rebecca sired and it had my date of birth,
Speaker 5: and it was like, how do I know this? It
Speaker 5: was very like it was scarey, but it was also
Speaker 5: very like they're talking to me and they're like, we've
Speaker 5: tapped your computer and we're going to share all of.
Speaker 2: Your yeah, And I was excuse and like all this.
Speaker 5: All this time, you've been building your reputation. I was like,
Speaker 5: I don't know what they're talking about, but I was
Speaker 5: also like I'm scared about what they Also.
Speaker 2: I have been trying to keep a clean little reputation.
Speaker 4: I was like, I guess everyone knows, but I was like,
Speaker 4: is there I don't know, And so you start questioning
Speaker 4: yourself and then I was like, I was like.
Speaker 5: We're nice people. Just send us two thousand dollars and
Speaker 5: I was like, what is anyway? I d ended up
Speaker 5: doing anything, obviously, because I was like, I guess you know,
Speaker 5: I'm not too worried, and nothing happened, but I guess
Speaker 5: it did.
Speaker 4: Someone was like, what are you going to do? Say
Speaker 4: something bad about me? Have a fun time?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you want to send photos of me to everyone?
Speaker 5: Everyone has the ugliest photos of me that I've ever seen.
Speaker 2: I think you can say something to me that I
Speaker 2: haven't said to myself. Sit down email. I think they
Speaker 2: assume that everyone has something they want to hide, and
Speaker 2: they're just hoping that someone goes, oh, like I've got
Speaker 2: photos or I've got screenshots, or I've got something I
Speaker 2: don't want to get to share them? Share them? Are
Speaker 2: they photos of me pre baby? Yeah? Show people?
Speaker 5: Yes, isn't me looking down on my phone with the
Speaker 5: double chin?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 5: Send it welcome anyway.
Speaker 2: In case anyone gets.
Speaker 5: One of those, don't do anything about it because no
Speaker 5: I'm not real.
Speaker 2: No, they're not. They're just hoping that you'll be your
Speaker 2: paddic if you're something.
Speaker 4: I do really enjoy the scam the scammer videos that
Speaker 4: are going around at the moment. I love I just
Speaker 4: I love it. And when the guy pretends to be
Speaker 4: the little old lady and he's like.
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I got the Apple gift card.
Speaker 4: And he's like yes, read me the numbers. And then
Speaker 4: he's like, yes, I've just put it in and I
Speaker 4: bought something with it. That's so exciting, and the scam
Speaker 4: is like, you're not meant to do. It's just sweet revenge.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, if you're a scammer, you deserve it. Every
Speaker 2: awful thing that's coming up right back to broke tips
Speaker 2: back yes.
Speaker 5: Okay, so this first one comes from a friend of
Speaker 5: mine and who says, if you save this all Halloween
Speaker 5: theme just by the way, yea, if you.
Speaker 4: Say Halloween theme, our money wins. I did look that
Speaker 4: cut a money lot or a Neil money lost school kids.
Speaker 5: We're doing that all day. Okay. So my friend says
Speaker 5: that if you know, at the end of Easter, like
Speaker 5: everything's super cheap, like all the eggs and stuff, like that.
Speaker 5: If you save, you save all those and you put
Speaker 5: those really cheap. You can also like boxing day things
Speaker 5: like that, any kind of day where chocolate is crazy cheap.
Speaker 5: The next day or day off or whatever, just bulk
Speaker 5: by and kids don't mind. If the chocolate's got a
Speaker 5: little bit of that fat bloom on it, they're gonna
Speaker 5: eat it. They don't mind.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't eat it as a kid, So be careful
Speaker 4: because I think that Jess would be the same. You
Speaker 4: know where they get the little white that is. Yeah,
Speaker 4: seeing the chocolate coming out, it's usually like just like
Speaker 4: cocoa butter, like it's actually sounding, but it's quicker about it,
Speaker 4: like that's in chocolate, Like it's good for you.
Speaker 2: It's not bad.
Speaker 4: It just like starts to separate over time because I.
Speaker 2: Just thought the chocolate was going bad. I've never really
Speaker 2: given it that much. No, so you were like over
Speaker 2: and out.
Speaker 4: You can put it still though, because it will remelt
Speaker 4: into your ingredients. I buy the like mini eggs, but
Speaker 4: then I regret the mini eggs when I decide to
Speaker 4: use that chocolate for a recipe and I have to
Speaker 4: hand unral eggs and put them in a bowl until
Speaker 4: you get two hundred grams or.
Speaker 2: Something, and I'm like, why did I do this? Oh
Speaker 2: my god?
Speaker 5: Why is they're not a TikTok hack yet for quickly
Speaker 5: undoing all of them? Because sometimes, like you're, I am
Speaker 5: raving this. Sometimes I'm insatiable, especially with these little eggs.
Speaker 4: I like that it slows me down. Yeah, that's fairy,
Speaker 4: like I need to be. I need to be held
Speaker 4: back from the chocolates, and so individually wrapped things help
Speaker 4: because you best believe if I buy a whole block
Speaker 4: of chocolate.
Speaker 5: She's gone, gone, She's gone.
Speaker 4: Like I opened it. It's one serving, one package goals
Speaker 4: one serving.
Speaker 5: No, I agree with that. I agree with that. This
Speaker 5: next one comes from alex. This one is silly and
Speaker 5: really funny and just like maybe no one will use it.
Speaker 5: If you put a an empty bowl of just an
Speaker 5: empty bottle out and you put like a little sign
Speaker 5: saying just take one, then it will look like if
Speaker 5: you've been pillaged already and you don't have to do anything.
Speaker 2: Treated get but you don't want your house to be Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
Speaker 2: people still egg houses. I'm sure they would. Surely someone
Speaker 2: cut it off on the and they honked it as
Speaker 2: really loud at like driving home the other day, and
Speaker 2: my boyfriend was like, on Halloween, we're going to find
Speaker 2: if we can. We're not, We're not, but he was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I don't want to waste eggs, but can
Speaker 2: we keep eggs in our cars and just egg people
Speaker 2: who cut us offween?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's so fine.
Speaker 2: I think or treat hard to treat ha ha. It's
Speaker 2: not even a treat.
Speaker 5: It is such an annoying prank though, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I remember our house way back when I was probably
Speaker 4: like eight or nine got egged. I don't know if
Speaker 4: it was on Halloween Halloween or not. Maybe animals, but
Speaker 4: like our household got egged, and my mom was off
Speaker 4: it because it was summer.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: She was not happy even gross, And I was like,
Speaker 4: ew did they cook? Like they just they didn't cook.
Speaker 4: They just went hard like they like they like had
Speaker 4: kind of dried onto the walls and stuff, and we
Speaker 4: had like a brick house.
Speaker 2: It was kind of like, yeah, the brick. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I just remember mum being like a fair enough Yeah,
Speaker 4: I agree with her.
Speaker 2: I would be pretty pretty I see yous preferably.
Speaker 4: But also I don't understand the like I understand the
Speaker 4: concept of trick or treating right, really cute.
Speaker 2: But like now I'm a mum.
Speaker 4: I'm like, am I gonna tell Harvey about strange danger?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Twenty four to seven, like three hundred and sixty four
Speaker 4: days of the year. I'm like, stranger's gotta be careful
Speaker 4: of them one day of the year. I'm like, so
Speaker 4: to do is go and knock on strangers doors while
Speaker 4: you're dressed up and take whatever candy they give you
Speaker 4: and be grateful for it.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: True with little kids.
Speaker 2: So I feel like, wait, I don't know how this works,
Speaker 2: but my son will not be doing trick or treating
Speaker 2: by himself. I mean I have to do. Yes, I
Speaker 2: have a job for you. You live in a really
Speaker 2: nice estate.
Speaker 4: I'm going to drop my kid over to you on
Speaker 4: Halloween and be like, looks like a you problem.
Speaker 2: It's really good. Our state's quite good because they do
Speaker 2: a map every year. So if you if you're going
Speaker 2: to have candy, so so people who don't want to
Speaker 2: participate don't get knocked on their door all night. So
Speaker 2: if you're going to have stuff for kids, you put
Speaker 2: your name and your address goes on a map, and
Speaker 2: so then they have a map of the estate where
Speaker 2: to go. And usually they'll say, oh, like if you're like,
Speaker 2: if you want that, it's kind of cute and.
Speaker 4: That feels right, That feels a lot safer, and like,
Speaker 4: genuinely you living in a state makes me feel a
Speaker 4: lot safe.
Speaker 2: It's very community. I live on a main road. Like,
Speaker 2: not feeling great about that.
Speaker 4: Perfect utopia does it's basically gated broke tip back, Okay,
Speaker 4: my one is I went through and I compared all
Speaker 4: the prices of like lollies and stuff like that. So
Speaker 4: just like a generic one, I'm going to use the
Speaker 4: freddo the twelve pack of frettos for any for example,
Speaker 4: so in Coals and woolwords six dollars, reject Shop and
Speaker 4: Alga five dollars. NQR roughly like two dollars. Obviously QR
Speaker 4: is iconic, but also who cares if it's running out soon?
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly.
Speaker 5: NQR is so good. I'm assuming there'd be something at cheap.
Speaker 2: About heaps of them.
Speaker 5: There would be some equivalents for other states, but just
Speaker 5: have a little look. See I'm not sure if there's
Speaker 5: an QR everywhere, but I'm sure you'll find something equivalent,
Speaker 5: but yeah, so I recommend all your Holloween shopping go
Speaker 5: to NQR. And even if they're like lollies no one's
Speaker 5: ever heard of before, some kids love just like stuff
Speaker 5: just their mind, just chuck it in there.
Speaker 2: I feel like lollipops are really good too, because they're
Speaker 2: often come in packs of like fifty sheep wrapped and
Speaker 2: they individually wrapped as well. So I feel like stuff
Speaker 2: like that is good. I haven't done anything.
Speaker 4: I feel bad, but I'm going to get egged good.
Speaker 4: But I feel like even going to Kmart and getting
Speaker 4: the party packs, you know how they come in like
Speaker 4: individually wrapped candy, bracelets and stuff.
Speaker 2: If I was a kid, that's what I want.
Speaker 4: Yeah, on a candy watch something fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then all the Halloween candy goes on sale
Speaker 2: the day after Halloween, Like he's yes, and you say.
Speaker 5: That stopped you?
Speaker 2: What do you got your eye on to purchase this season?
Speaker 2: Just you know the trolley like they do the oh yeah,
Speaker 2: they have like a Halloween like mixed pack, And I
Speaker 2: like them because they're individually wrapped and they're good to
Speaker 2: just like keep in your purse for an afternoon gummy web.
Speaker 4: That's very dope, That's very justic I feel like, in
Speaker 4: the most non offense, if we ever just belongs in Utah,
Speaker 4: like in the nicest way possible, like super wholesome, always
Speaker 4: has good hair, like wants to drink a lot of diet.
Speaker 4: Coke also wants to celebrate all of the holidays with
Speaker 4: a theme and has like a mega mansion that she
Speaker 4: like dresses up. Yeah, Bubbie dreamhouse vipes. Oh, I wish
Speaker 4: I had a porch to decorate.
Speaker 2: It'd be so porch. See.
Speaker 4: She even talks about, No, I'm so happy you guys
Speaker 4: supported me this year and finally dressed up for the show.
Speaker 4: I'm just wearing a tiara, but we forgot if you
Speaker 4: were better organized, Beck, what would you have dressed up as?
Speaker 5: I was meant to be? Ellen Degeneroes.
Speaker 2: I really like that. I really like that. Sad.
Speaker 5: I know I'll try and do it sometime this week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like her, all right?
Speaker 4: And Jess, what were you going to dress up as?
Speaker 4: Had we actually said yeah, of course we're in we
Speaker 4: definitely were prepared.
Speaker 2: I would have done the classic Britney Spears baby one
Speaker 2: more time because I feel like It's simple enough of
Speaker 2: an outfit that I wouldn't feel crazy walking into the building.
Speaker 2: I'm Kati, the fluffy little you know tabs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh no, So I would have recycled my Barbie
Speaker 4: fairy Topia costume. That doesn't need another excuse to get out,
Speaker 4: it does. I would have recycled that. I think it's
Speaker 4: got a two to a little like sparkly top. I've
Speaker 4: got fairy wings, there's a tr like. It's just a lot.
Speaker 4: Unfortunately I got rid of the blonde wig, so would
Speaker 4: have had to buy another one. But you know, you
Speaker 4: get what you get. But I bought all of the
Speaker 4: jewelry for that too, like the Barbie fairy Topia necklace,
Speaker 4: the Barbie fairy Topia like bracelet. I also had the
Speaker 4: fairy Oki karaoke wings that is, yes, of course if
Speaker 4: you'd like to borrow them, no worries. They actually it's
Speaker 4: like a backpack that you put on and it's plastic
Speaker 4: fairy wings.
Speaker 2: Did you see them? You would have?
Speaker 4: You were on my birthday picturing, Yeah, so, like everyone
Speaker 4: had had a few beveraginos except for me, because I
Speaker 4: had found out the day before thirtieth birthday that we
Speaker 4: had that I was pregnant. So I was drinking fake
Speaker 4: champagne all night, duping you guys. And yeah, it has
Speaker 4: like an attached wand which is actually the microphone and
Speaker 4: pre like the backpack the middle of the fairy wings speaker.
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, why did I know that?
Speaker 2: That's cool?
Speaker 4: What do you mean you did know that? I was
Speaker 4: dancing and singing all night? This is before morning sickness
Speaker 4: took hold. Right, of course, it was fantastic. Let's go
Speaker 4: to a really quick break on the flip side. We're
Speaker 4: going to talk about what to do when you find
Speaker 4: out that your colleague is doing the same job as
Speaker 4: you but getting paid way more, and something that you
Speaker 4: lead into our dms about We're chatting about whether you
Speaker 4: should ask your partner to stop going to the bank
Speaker 4: of Mom and dad. Don't go anywhere, guys, Welcome back, everybody.
Speaker 2: Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma. Hi, there,
Speaker 2: have you.
Speaker 4: Got a money dilemma you just can't solve? He's on
Speaker 4: the Money team is here to help. Every week we
Speaker 4: tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your
Speaker 4: most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved,
Speaker 4: simply head to our website and leave us a short
Speaker 4: voice recording, and you might just find yourself on the show. Now,
Speaker 4: let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 6: Hi, she's on the money. Love love, love your work.
Speaker 6: I have a question here and would really like your advice.
Speaker 6: Our company hire a temporary support staff from our head
Speaker 6: office from Europe. After a few months, she decided want
Speaker 6: to stay in Australia, so the company sponsor her for
Speaker 6: our work visa to work in Australia. So she works
Speaker 6: in a very similar role as what I do, like
Speaker 6: a project coordinator, project administrators sort of role, do not
Speaker 6: really need special skills at all. Lately, I find out
Speaker 6: that she's actually getting pay more than double of what
Speaker 6: I'm getting paid at the moment, and her work low
Speaker 6: is probably only sixty percent of what I'm doing. I
Speaker 6: feel really frustrated about this. I want to know, is
Speaker 6: this even lego in so many different level Should I
Speaker 6: confront my boss about the big pay gap difference or
Speaker 6: should I be looking for another job? Thank you? In
Speaker 6: that month?
Speaker 2: Oh my god. When she said, oh, she's.
Speaker 4: Being paid more, I was like, oh, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we've all been there, but also like I don't know
Speaker 4: the context, like, you know, has she come from overseas
Speaker 4: with a lot more experience? Like yeah, And I'm not
Speaker 4: trying to justify it because that sucks, but I'm assuming life.
Speaker 4: Like then she gave us the context and I was like, sorry, girl,
Speaker 4: what double?
Speaker 2: And she's doing less work?
Speaker 5: That is so criminal? I think it is criminal.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is, but it isn't like it depends on
Speaker 4: like their award rates. It depends on like the legalities
Speaker 4: of the industry. Is it acceptable?
Speaker 2: No? And that's what we're going to.
Speaker 4: Talk about, right, Yes, So I want to know what
Speaker 4: would you guys do Beck if you came to work
Speaker 4: and found out new person at work was being paid
Speaker 4: double what you're doing less work?
Speaker 5: Okay, what would you do? This actually happened recently, but
Speaker 5: not with me, with someone someone then you name them Sharon,
Speaker 5: named them Sharon, yep, and then the other person was
Speaker 5: named Kim for example.
Speaker 2: Okay. Great.
Speaker 5: First of all, I just want to say I'm so
Speaker 5: glad that pacey gritsy is no longer a thing anyway.
Speaker 4: But to also just caveat that, you need to be
Speaker 4: really careful because while it was abolished if it is
Speaker 4: still in your employment contract. While not legal, your workplace
Speaker 4: might have some type of ramifications for talking about it.
Speaker 4: If you signed a contract that has that in it,
Speaker 4: it would be yeah, that pre dates when pace Chrissy
Speaker 4: was not allowed to be included in your contracts. So
Speaker 4: now I want to talk about pay, and I really
Speaker 4: want to be completely transparent about it, like you guys
Speaker 4: know me well enough by now, but I also don't
Speaker 4: want you to get any trouble.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I want to make sure that you're protected,
Speaker 2: so know that. But also maybe.
Speaker 4: Next you know, salary review or like job reviewed, be
Speaker 4: like you need to remove that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, sorry back to you.
Speaker 4: Bet, because I didn't want anyone to be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: we can just talk about it.
Speaker 5: Sure, that's great. Sorry great, No, no, no, no, But
Speaker 5: basically sh Sharon, Sharon told Kim that Kim, well, actually,
Speaker 5: Kim asked Sharon how much everyone was getting paid because
Speaker 5: they're doing all the exactly literally exact same role. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's the exactly role, the exact same title. And Sharon
Speaker 5: told Kim this, how much we get paid? Kim realized
Speaker 5: she's getting paid twelve k less wow for no absolutely
Speaker 5: no reason. Anyway, when the boss has found out that
Speaker 5: Kim knew blah blah blah, they went to Sharon. They
Speaker 5: were like, you shouldn't be they're trying to intimidate share,
Speaker 5: trying to intimidate that disgusting, despicable. I hate it.
Speaker 4: In if yeh y yes about it, I'll give you
Speaker 4: a boss a call and be like, hey, so beg.
Speaker 2: I just was wondering, were you doing this or now?
Speaker 5: Yeah, And luckily Sharon stuck up for herself and she
Speaker 5: was like, basically, I just think that if you don't
Speaker 5: have in your contract you are allowed to be talking
Speaker 5: about it, then you can shout it from the rooftops.
Speaker 5: Because there are people out there who have maybe been
Speaker 5: loyal to a company for so long absolutely not in
Speaker 5: so many different situations and things like that, and they're
Speaker 5: getting paid less than everyone else. They don't know about it.
Speaker 5: Everyone needs no pay secrecy.
Speaker 4: I don't like it, but hate secrecy only benefits the
Speaker 4: employer exactly, it doesn't benefit anybody.
Speaker 5: I completely agree. But to answer our listener's question, should
Speaker 5: you confront or look for your job? I say both.
Speaker 5: You should definitely, you should definitely be confronting and definitely bex.
Speaker 2: Start a riot angry we're not having it. How would
Speaker 2: you go about that?
Speaker 5: Though, I'll be like, well, actually maybe you would find
Speaker 5: a job vers a secure job. And then when they're like, hey,
Speaker 5: oh you're leaving, why you're leaving? Like, because you guys
Speaker 5: are so sneaky, everyone knows.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to put this on glass door. I
Speaker 2: was going to say, I just gonna say, put it
Speaker 2: on glass door, put it somewhere like, jess, what would
Speaker 2: you do? The one thing I will say is that
Speaker 2: with the workload thing, I think sometimes you can look
Speaker 2: at a coworker and it's easier, Oh, they seem like
Speaker 2: they do nothing. But unless you're.
Speaker 4: Everyone looks at me that way, they're not wrong. But
Speaker 4: everybody does look at me that way, yes, but unless
Speaker 4: you're like sitting like cyber do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 4: I think that it's easy to go, oh, it seems
Speaker 4: like they're doing half my workload, but you don't necessarily know,
Speaker 4: so I don't know that I hard to quantify completely,
Speaker 4: So I don't know that I would build that into
Speaker 4: my argument because I think that sometimes jobs that seem
Speaker 4: like they're not taxing actually have like an overwhlming amount
Speaker 4: of just like tedious things or whatever that you might
Speaker 4: not know that they're dealing with. So I wouldn't build
Speaker 4: that into your argument just because it might be easy
Speaker 4: for them to refute that and say, oh, actually they're
Speaker 4: doing X Y L and you go, oh crap, Like
Speaker 4: now I don't stand on completely, but if you're doing
Speaker 4: similar roles, the pay should absolutely be similar. There's really
Speaker 4: no good reason, as you said, outside of maybe historical
Speaker 4: experience or seniority. But even then you kind of go,
Speaker 4: if we're doing the same thing, like, how much does
Speaker 4: that really factor in? I think that I would it
Speaker 4: depends how much you like your job. Really like, if
Speaker 4: you like your job, if you like what you're doing,
Speaker 4: you like your colleagues, then it is worth I think
Speaker 4: having the conversation before looking elsewhere and saying, hey, like,
Speaker 4: I've been made aware of this disparity, can you please
Speaker 4: do it to me why that exists? I think giving
Speaker 4: them an opportunity to say, you know, this person maybe
Speaker 4: is managing some of the team back in Europe remotely,
Speaker 4: or this person has ten years more experience than you,
Speaker 4: or whatever the case may be. And if there's nothing,
Speaker 4: if there's no good reason, which it feels like maybe
Speaker 4: there's a good chance that's the case. You're going to
Speaker 4: catch them out and they're going to be like, ah,
Speaker 4: they are, and you're gonna be like, gotcha, and then
Speaker 4: you can kind of, I think, launch into the negotiation
Speaker 4: and be like, this is really unreasonable if you can't
Speaker 4: give me a reason as to why you're being paid more,
Speaker 4: I don't see any reason that you should not be
Speaker 4: matching ching salary to this.
Speaker 2: See what they say, hopefully, Oh, we're so sorry. You're
Speaker 2: totally right, we'll sort that out. If they don't, that's
Speaker 2: when I would personally start looking front the job, especially
Speaker 2: if it's like for like like I get so frustrated.
Speaker 4: I also feel like I don't like being super confrontational
Speaker 4: in these situations because it doesn't help you. Like marching
Speaker 4: into your boss's office and being like, what are you doing?
Speaker 4: Is not a great idea. I would actually step back
Speaker 4: for a hot second, and I'd be like, Okay, how
Speaker 4: long have I been with this organization? Let's go back
Speaker 4: to basics. Let's look at my employment contract. Am I
Speaker 4: fulfilling everything in that contract? Fantastic? What am I doing
Speaker 4: above and beyond that? Because we all know if we've
Speaker 4: been with a company for a couple of years, we
Speaker 4: might be adding a few things here and there, or
Speaker 4: like we might have lost a few responsibilities and had
Speaker 4: them replaced with something else. We want to understand whether
Speaker 4: the job title you have today is still reflective of
Speaker 4: the role that you perform, because it is a lot
Speaker 4: more persuasive to have an argument that's not only should
Speaker 4: I get paid more, but also I have been thinking
Speaker 4: I need a role title upgrade and a salary upgrade.
Speaker 4: What are we talking about? I would, then, from my perspective,
Speaker 4: schedule a meeting with your manager and say, hey, I'd
Speaker 4: really like to schedule a meeting to discuss my salary.
Speaker 4: Give them enough notice and say I would love to
Speaker 4: sit down with you at lunchtime on Friday, or a
Speaker 4: two pm on Friday. Actually definitely a two pm on Friday,
Speaker 4: because we don't need to do salary negotiations in our
Speaker 4: lunch break. That is a work conversation. So we're going
Speaker 4: to have our Friday conversation, and then the day before
Speaker 4: or the morning of, you're going to send a really
Speaker 4: nice email to your manager, and that email is going
Speaker 4: to outline everything that you want to talk to them
Speaker 4: about in a really clear, concise way, and you're going
Speaker 4: to deliver it in the nicest possible way, So you're
Speaker 4: going to say, Hi, Beck, I just wanted to send
Speaker 4: you an email ahead of our meeting because, as you know,
Speaker 4: I would like to discuss my pay, but I want
Speaker 4: to make sure before this meeting to make sure it's.
Speaker 2: As productive as possible.
Speaker 4: We're on the same page. I would like to let
Speaker 4: you know that I have done some research, so we're
Speaker 4: going to do external research as well. I've looked at
Speaker 4: the Hayes Salary Guide, I've looked at Glassdoor, I've looked
Speaker 4: at what seeks remuneration for similar roles are and the
Speaker 4: role that I'm currently doing it sits at X. Obviously,
Speaker 4: don't use that statistic if it's not going to work
Speaker 4: for you. But like I've done some reviews and in
Speaker 4: a perfect world, that review will say that you're being underpaid.
Speaker 4: So you put that on the table and say so,
Speaker 4: I would really like to discuss my salary in light
Speaker 4: of this. I also would like to discuss the discrepancy
Speaker 4: between my role and another impartployee's role, and I want
Speaker 4: to have a discussion around pay parity in the organization.
Speaker 4: What does that look like? How can that be remediated?
Speaker 4: Because right now I don't feel very engaged. I don't
Speaker 4: feel like I'm being valued, and obviously we all want
Speaker 4: a really nice outcome. Look forward to the conversation because
Speaker 4: that gets all your information out before having to go
Speaker 4: and like we're just girls at the end of the day,
Speaker 4: like sitting down and being like, I need to advocate
Speaker 4: for myself. Like, don't get me wrong. If you can
Speaker 4: do that, that is absolutely fantastic. But you're also giving
Speaker 4: your boss some time because often in these situations where
Speaker 4: there's levels of management, it's not your manager who makes
Speaker 4: that decision. So like in my organization, great Jess might
Speaker 4: come to me about salary. I do call the shots.
Speaker 4: That's the right decision, But like Jess sending an email
Speaker 4: because you know Beck might be her manager, because Beck
Speaker 4: then has to go to Meat to advocate for that.
Speaker 4: I'm giving you all of the tools and resources you
Speaker 4: need to advocate for me on my behalf.
Speaker 2: Does that make sense?
Speaker 4: So like if your manager maybe goes, oh yeah, I
Speaker 4: just wants to pay increase, what are we going to do? Like,
Speaker 4: at least I have put all of the information on
Speaker 4: a page and Beck could forward that to my manager
Speaker 4: and be like, she's got a really good point, like
Speaker 4: this isn't actually acceptable and outlining all of that, and
Speaker 4: at the same time I would be looking for another role.
Speaker 4: I think these conversations are really constructive and help us grow,
Speaker 4: but I also think that it sounds like they don't
Speaker 4: value you in the way that you deserve to be valued.
Speaker 4: And just because you've quote uncovered this and it might
Speaker 4: be remediated, doesn't mean that they are going to continue
Speaker 4: to value you. I would find an organization that backs
Speaker 4: the hell out of you, yes, but have this conversation
Speaker 4: make them pay you more and than the week after
Speaker 4: they've done that, leave.
Speaker 5: Completely agree sweet sweet revenge, which.
Speaker 2: All that maybe undage. I feel lucky.
Speaker 5: Yes, Kim was back paid in my story.
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely absolutely back pays another thing to negotiate. So
Speaker 4: I just think it's it's wildly unfair and I hate
Speaker 4: that these things happen, and I'm really sorry, Like I'm
Speaker 4: really sorry that you have to advocate for yourself when
Speaker 4: your management team should be looking at the overall remuneration structures.
Speaker 4: I know that over time things get a little bit off,
Speaker 4: but it's their job to ensure pay parody for lack
Speaker 4: for like roles.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, totally agree. Insane and if you want to
Speaker 2: leave us a money dilemma. By the way, we've had
Speaker 2: a few people dming us recently, being like, hey, go
Speaker 2: to our website, She's the money to talk to you, and
Speaker 2: then there's a podcast page. Go to that and you
Speaker 2: can literally drop your voice notes straight there. Yeah.
Speaker 4: You can record on your phone, you can record on
Speaker 4: your desktop. It's a ten out of ten idea. You
Speaker 4: can also leave love notes there, so you can just
Speaker 4: leave us little voice memos, which some people do when we.
Speaker 2: Find really fun.
Speaker 5: Absolutely.
Speaker 4: Would you guys like to get to the DM that
Speaker 4: we got this week.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Oh.
Speaker 4: I've been waiting for this one because I feel like
Speaker 4: we've got thoughts, you know. So this week where we
Speaker 4: received a DM, they said, hey, she's on the money.
Speaker 4: I have a money dilemma. I grew up very poor,
Speaker 4: coming from government housing where money was scarce, and I
Speaker 4: never asked for money as a kid or even now,
Speaker 4: because I know money is a struggle. My partner grew
Speaker 4: up wealthy and got what he asked for whenever he wanted.
Speaker 4: Is it fair for me to ask him to stop
Speaker 4: asking his parents for financial help. I feel he doesn't
Speaker 4: value money and doesn't understand how to work and save
Speaker 4: for the things he wants. He continuously goes straight for
Speaker 4: the bank of his parents when he wants something. It
Speaker 4: is never for needs. I can't tell if it is
Speaker 4: a red flag or if my jealousy is just showing
Speaker 4: up through him. I like that you're thinking about you know,
Speaker 4: am I just envious about this situation?
Speaker 2: We are fair, it's not.
Speaker 4: It's not you being envious. I think in this situation,
Speaker 4: wanting people to value money, especially if you're in a
Speaker 4: relationship together and you're building a life together, think is
Speaker 4: a very big shared value set validating you there. No,
Speaker 4: it's not envy. Yeah, like I'm a little bit jealous
Speaker 4: if someone was just going to give me free money,
Speaker 4: I get it.
Speaker 2: But this is a bit deeper than that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree. It really does sound like me and
Speaker 5: my best friend lives so week because we do grow
Speaker 5: up completely differently. She came from a very wealthy family
Speaker 5: and they did work very hard for their wealth, and
Speaker 5: I grew up not so well off. But we're both
Speaker 5: like exactly the same, and so I think living with her.
Speaker 5: We lived in there for a few years, and there
Speaker 5: were definitely moments where I was like, oh, it's it
Speaker 5: kind of like hurts a little bit in my belly
Speaker 5: to see that she might be given opportunities that I
Speaker 5: might not.
Speaker 2: That would have been challenging with such a close friend.
Speaker 5: It is, but it's also like I also tend to
Speaker 5: remind myself that, like we we are exactly the same.
Speaker 5: But I'm very very grateful for my upbringing. I'm very
Speaker 5: very grateful for everything that led me here, and if
Speaker 5: even one tiny thing changed, and I wouldn't be exactly
Speaker 5: why I am today, And I quite like exactly. I
Speaker 5: love that you know what I mean much back and
Speaker 5: so and but it is still it's nice to have,
Speaker 5: like a little bit I know that if something went wrong,
Speaker 5: Hopefully it's the same for a listener, if something really
Speaker 5: really went wrong, you do kind of have access to that. Hopefully.
Speaker 5: I can imagine that if you're in that situation, it's
Speaker 5: nice to know it's there. But I do understand the
Speaker 5: feeling of being like, wow, like I've got to work
Speaker 5: for this, and you can kind of just ask for
Speaker 5: it and you kind of get it.
Speaker 2: That does suck.
Speaker 5: But honestly, if you're trying to teach, you know, financial
Speaker 5: resilience and things like that, I can I can understand
Speaker 5: why you maybe want to get your partner to not
Speaker 5: do that as much. But I think it's okay that
Speaker 5: like really bad. Like, I think it's fine, but it
Speaker 5: isn't a valuable thing to learn, like the resilience and
Speaker 5: independence financially and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't think that either of them is wrong. Like,
Speaker 2: I understand that it's very frustrating if you and your
Speaker 2: partner have different perspectives on money and handling that, and
Speaker 2: if you're e'en like you're obviously both by products the
Speaker 2: environments that you grew up in. And I can see
Speaker 2: how for someone who's had to work really hard for everything,
Speaker 2: seeing someone just be handed something would be frustrating. And
Speaker 2: you I can understand being like, well, you're not going
Speaker 2: to learn because you're just being bailed out every time.
Speaker 2: But that being said, like, I don't think I think
Speaker 2: I've said this before, I don't necessarily think it's reasonable
Speaker 2: to expect your partner to change fundamental things about themselves
Speaker 2: and fundamental things about their upbringing. I think that it's
Speaker 2: absolutely worthy of a conversation and saying, hey, like, I
Speaker 2: feel like you're not respecting the goals as much as
Speaker 2: I am because you're not prioritizing them. You're spending on
Speaker 2: other things and then hoping that your family will bail
Speaker 2: them out. I think that that's a very valid conversation
Speaker 2: to have, But you also need to recognize that the
Speaker 2: case might just be that you have different value sets
Speaker 2: and different experiences with money, and that they may be
Speaker 2: too different for you to be able to operate together
Speaker 2: because ultimately, like you're hopefully assuming you want to follow
Speaker 2: a traditional you know, trajectory, going to be your partner
Speaker 2: for the rest of your life, and it may be
Speaker 2: that that's not something that they can or want to
Speaker 2: change about themselves. And on the flip side, I feel like,
Speaker 2: if their parents are in a wealthy enough position that
Speaker 2: they can help them out financially, don't we all really
Speaker 2: want to build generational wealth so that we can look
Speaker 2: after our future generations. Where I was going to go
Speaker 2: with it, like if I worked really hard and I'm
Speaker 2: a multimillionaire. From my mouth to God's lips, you know,
Speaker 2: this is why she's just been trying to kiss up
Speaker 2: you want to make out with him. He hasn't been
Speaker 2: listening to me, you know. Like if I found myself
Speaker 2: in the position where I was wealthy, of course I
Speaker 2: would want to support my children and give them every
Speaker 2: opportunity and whatever. So I can't really fault your partner
Speaker 2: or their family for being in that position. I think
Speaker 2: what we really have to do is reflect on is
Speaker 2: this going to be something that's going to bother you
Speaker 2: long term? Because you may not be able to reconcile
Speaker 2: the difference.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: I think that you're both in the right and honestly,
Speaker 2: like I grew up in a less prosperous household, and
Speaker 2: like I would be the same, Like I would be
Speaker 2: pissed off that if someone was not putting in the
Speaker 2: hard yard then I felt like I was, Like, I
Speaker 2: fully get that, but I also think that you can't
Speaker 2: necessarily expect that to change, Like I don't know that.
Speaker 2: I think that that's a reasonable level of expectation. Does
Speaker 2: that make sat I I'm contradicting. No, I totally get it.
Speaker 2: I think looking at it from the flip side, we
Speaker 2: all want the best for our kids, right, Like and
Speaker 2: if his parents, I don't know I look at myself right,
Speaker 2: like gift giving is a love language of mine, Like
Speaker 2: I love it. I bring gifts for the team, I
Speaker 2: bring gifts for my friends, like you best believe, like
Speaker 2: my baby he needs something and I have the ability
Speaker 2: to get it for him. Not only do I want to,
Speaker 2: but it gives me a deep sense of validation to
Speaker 2: go I did that, Like, yeah, I got that, Like
Speaker 2: I don't know, I just I feel as though maybe
Speaker 2: his parents have like look at it, right, Like, let's
Speaker 2: take your situation, Jesse.
Speaker 4: You said I didn't grow up in a prosperous environment.
Speaker 4: If you then had kids and you were super prosperous,
Speaker 4: you often find that the parents who grew up with
Speaker 4: not much then want to give their kids absolutely everything,
Speaker 4: and they're probably getting a lot of validation from it.
Speaker 4: So he might have just grown up with this situation
Speaker 4: of being like, oh I really want this, and mom
Speaker 4: and dad being like, girl, oh boy, whatever.
Speaker 2: You can have it.
Speaker 4: Like all he has to do is message his parents
Speaker 4: and he's got it. Like that's fantastic. But we also
Speaker 4: I get the NB side of it, like if that exists,
Speaker 4: but I think it's also fair to go we're not
Speaker 4: on the same page financially, and that's where we need
Speaker 4: to zoom out. If that's part of his money story, fine,
Speaker 4: let's sweep that to the side for a minute. What
Speaker 4: are we working to wards together? Are you saying that
Speaker 4: your partner right now just spends his money really frivolously
Speaker 4: and then just asks his parents for heaps of stuff
Speaker 4: and doesn't have a heap of savings, but you have
Speaker 4: a heap of savings and you're trying to save for
Speaker 4: a house and he says he's in, but he's not
Speaker 4: really in because he's spending all his money and seems
Speaker 4: to have the bank of Mum and Dad backing up
Speaker 4: his spending behavior. Is that what you're saying, or are
Speaker 4: you saying he's saving, he's investing, and you know, we're
Speaker 4: working towards this really secure financial future together. I'm compromising
Speaker 4: a lot. I'm not getting all these things that I want.
Speaker 4: He's saving all his money and just texts his mum
Speaker 4: when he wants a new PlayStation, right, Like, so he's
Speaker 4: not having to dip into savings and have that level
Speaker 4: of compromise that you've got. Yeah, does that make sense?
Speaker 4: So like that would annoy me too and be like
Speaker 4: he's so unfair, Like I'm compromising, and you know, at
Speaker 4: the end of the day, I'm not buying the makeup
Speaker 4: and the shoes and the clothes that I want because
Speaker 4: I'm trying to save for this house and he's doing
Speaker 4: the same thing and saving, but then he's just asking
Speaker 4: his mum for the stuff. Yeah, Like, oh, okay, you
Speaker 4: need to have a conversation about this. And this is
Speaker 4: about not only under standing each other's money stories, but
Speaker 4: your shared values and what you're working towards together and
Speaker 4: what that's going to look like. So is it bad
Speaker 4: that he's using the bank of Mum and Dad. I
Speaker 4: don't think so. And the reason I don't think so
Speaker 4: is you never deeply know somebody else's money story. And also,
Speaker 4: who are you to judge? Like if you could do
Speaker 4: that too, I'm sure you would. I live in a
Speaker 4: world where I didn't grow up super rich. My parents
Speaker 4: couldn't give me all of those things either. I love
Speaker 4: everything that they did, but we weren't super wealthy. On
Speaker 4: the flip side, I'm now starting to make more money
Speaker 4: than I ever have before, and I'm trying to balance this,
Speaker 4: Like I don't want my kid to be spoilt. But
Speaker 4: I also want to make sure that he has all
Speaker 4: of the things that I think he needs and deserves.
Speaker 4: And so I am thinking, what do I do do
Speaker 4: I invest for his future when he gets to eighteen?
Speaker 4: Would I want him having access to money? The answer
Speaker 4: actually between and Steve and I is no, we want
Speaker 4: him to be older than that. But I know that
Speaker 4: the world is a really tough place to live right now,
Speaker 4: and I would like to be contributing towards a first
Speaker 4: home deposit for him in the future. And I want
Speaker 4: to do that for my other kids, And like, how
Speaker 4: do I establish that so by the time, you know,
Speaker 4: my son gets to the age where he's buying property,
Speaker 4: I love that we could help, but I know that
Speaker 4: that's not what his You know, lots of his friends
Speaker 4: might be experiencing, or his partner might be experiencing. That
Speaker 4: doesn't mean that it's the wrong thing for us to do.
Speaker 4: And as his parent, if my son then had a
Speaker 4: partner that said you need to stop that, I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 4: I worked really hard to be able to give him this.
Speaker 4: I worked really hard, and that was like my mission
Speaker 4: and my driving force, And now you're telling me that
Speaker 4: I can't give my son the things that I want
Speaker 4: to give him. Does that make sense? And like, it
Speaker 4: doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, Like just because I'm saying
Speaker 4: that it can still happen doesn't mean it's not frustrating.
Speaker 4: Like from the outside, Like you can be annoyed and beck,
Speaker 4: you can look at your friend and be like, that's
Speaker 4: so annoying. But then I think you know, if you
Speaker 4: sat down with your friend's parents and said like, oh,
Speaker 4: why do you just give her stuff, they'd probably be like,
Speaker 4: We're so proud to be able to do that, Like
Speaker 4: it's so cool.
Speaker 2: We worked so hard.
Speaker 4: Like they might tell you stories about how they grew up,
Speaker 4: and you know, maybe they've lost some businesses along the
Speaker 4: way and then they did a new business and something
Speaker 4: finally worked, and like everyone has this narrative and their
Speaker 4: story that you don't know about. So I don't think
Speaker 4: it's fair to judge it. But I also think it's
Speaker 4: fair to have a conversation and say to your partner,
Speaker 4: I'm feeling really uncomfortable about this, yeah, and that's fair.
Speaker 4: Telling him to stop is a different conversation than going, hey,
Speaker 4: i'm noticing that you're doing this a lot can we
Speaker 4: talk about it? Like I feel real weird about it? Yeah,
Speaker 4: Like have you always done this?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Like what does this mean? Like how do you
Speaker 2: value money? What are you going to do if your
Speaker 2: parents maybe aren't around one day?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And because I can understand the fear that poor money
Speaker 2: habits now might meet in the future when there's not
Speaker 2: someone there to support you, you you could go, oh God,
Speaker 2: what's going to happen if.
Speaker 4: What's your plan for the future, Like your parents are
Speaker 4: doing this for you, how are you planning on setting
Speaker 4: up the same structure so that you can do that
Speaker 4: for your kids? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like is that the plan? Like, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I think there's a lot of money stories conversation, but
Speaker 4: shared values and beliefs conversations that need to happen before
Speaker 4: you go, hey, I don't like that you go to
Speaker 4: the bank of mom and dad.
Speaker 5: Sure, sometimes what you need is just validation, just someone
Speaker 5: to be like, hey, I know I do this, and
Speaker 5: I know that you could never and you don't have
Speaker 5: access to that, but and I see that nothing's going
Speaker 5: to change. But I see that, and that's like that's
Speaker 5: enough sometimes to be like thanks, I'm going to keep
Speaker 5: on keep an.
Speaker 4: Ony yeah, but like also a rising tide lift soulships.
Speaker 4: So like, if I'm doing well, hopefully the people around
Speaker 4: me are then learning and benefiting from the fact that
Speaker 4: I'm doing well and we can all rise together, Like
Speaker 4: I don't want to rise if nobody else is ill,
Speaker 4: and what everybody else say. We obviously asked a few questions,
Speaker 4: and we said, is it a red flag for you
Speaker 4: if your partner relies on their family for their wants?
Speaker 4: And seventy four percent of you said, yep, feels like
Speaker 4: a dependency, and twenty six percent of you said nope,
Speaker 4: family help is fine if it's available.
Speaker 2: Fair. Fair.
Speaker 4: We also asked, would you ask your partner to stop
Speaker 4: relying on their parents? Sixty percent of you said definitely,
Speaker 4: because it builds character, and forty percent of you said nope.
Speaker 4: Their finances their choices.
Speaker 2: I think once you start working towards shared goals, it's
Speaker 2: definitely more valid because their finances are impacting your finances.
Speaker 4: Yeah that I agree with that, Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 4: And like that's the conversation at hand, Like how does
Speaker 4: this play into an US situation? Like you're not asking
Speaker 4: his parents to buy you stuff, but you're just going
Speaker 4: well what does this mean long term?
Speaker 2: Sure?
Speaker 4: Like, how is this impacting our financial goals? We also said,
Speaker 4: come on, give us your two cents where you want
Speaker 4: to know. What are your thoughts on this? One person said,
Speaker 4: parents love language. Maybe gift giving, which is quite funny,
Speaker 4: That's what I said, maybe the one thing of the
Speaker 4: few things they feel they can do now their kids
Speaker 4: are adults. Someone else said, focus on your own mindset
Speaker 4: rather than your partners. Another person said, my concern would
Speaker 4: be that he has not matured and is irresponsible with money,
Speaker 4: not a grown man trait that I want.
Speaker 2: I think that's good, but also have we asked him? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Right, Like, I get that you feel that might be irresponsible.
Speaker 4: And I'm not even trying to defend him. I'm just
Speaker 4: trying to see it from the flip side. But you
Speaker 4: might see that as irresponsible, and he might go, oh,
Speaker 4: we've only been together for like a year. I haven't
Speaker 4: really told you. But I invest and I save everything.
Speaker 4: A mum and dad know that I work really hard
Speaker 4: in the background, and they're like real proud of that.
Speaker 4: So like, if I want something, they don't want me
Speaker 4: spending my investments, so they just buy it. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: you'd be like, oh, that's a different story, and I'm
Speaker 4: not saying it makes it right or wrong.
Speaker 2: It doesn't. That would also annoy me.
Speaker 4: I'd be like, oh, I'm so frustrated, like I wish
Speaker 4: I had that, but yeah, it's just there's lots of
Speaker 4: different things floating around.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Someone said, girl, that's called intergenerational wealth.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Someone else said, in this economy, all the.
Speaker 4: Help you can get, honestly fair, Like if your partner
Speaker 4: was getting gifted stuff, you'd be like, yep, slate, no worries.
Speaker 2: If doone have the ability to do that for me? Like,
Speaker 2: I'd be back, pass right please.
Speaker 4: Someone else said, I feel like you could just have
Speaker 4: an open conversation about it with them. Then it's true,
Speaker 4: more conversations about money more often, please.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Someone else said, I'd feel the same as you, but
Speaker 4: it also doesn't affect you.
Speaker 2: So maybe your values just done aligne. It's a hard conversation,
Speaker 2: but it's one that you have to have.
Speaker 4: And then somebody else said, I would suggest having a
Speaker 4: chat with a therapist because you might have developed a
Speaker 4: scarcity relationship with money. Wow, it's very cerebral but true.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: It's true. I feel like that's probably a good place
Speaker 4: to leave it. I feel like always talking about it.
Speaker 4: I mean you could even talk to like a girlfriend
Speaker 4: about it, or just having chats about money in general
Speaker 4: is really good. Like really, we all come out of
Speaker 4: it feeling fresher, like you were saying before, even just
Speaker 4: someone being like, oh, I'm doing this, but like I
Speaker 4: acknowledge that, Like Becky, you're not in that position right now,
Speaker 4: You're oh, thanks, Like at least I feel like sometimes
Speaker 4: when we talk about money, there's an underlying tone of like,
Speaker 4: I think everyone should X y Z, Like, oh, I'm
Speaker 4: buying my first home. You're like, I'm not in a
Speaker 4: position to buy my first home. Does the person I'm
Speaker 4: talking to think that I should be doing that because
Speaker 4: like I haven't saved for that, Like what do I do?
Speaker 4: And I think that, Yes, Sometimes just acknowledging that everyone
Speaker 4: is in the same position can be really constructive.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I completely agree.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't believe it.
Speaker 5: Sometimes the answer is communication.
Speaker 1: Well I didn't see that.
Speaker 4: That's crazy. That is a perfect place to leave it.
Speaker 4: Thank you for joining us for our not that spooky
Speaker 4: episode of Friday's She's on the Money. We will endeavor
Speaker 4: to try harder next year, but yeah, spooky season.
Speaker 2: Greetings. I suppose that's it.
Speaker 5: Happy Hillarene.
Speaker 2: Bye guys, Hi guys.
Speaker 4: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
Speaker 4: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
Speaker 4: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
Speaker 4: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
Speaker 4: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
Speaker 4: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
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