Speaker 1: Laura, come on, hello, Happy Monday as I'm calling it
Speaker 1: Happy pad padam Celebration Day, everybody.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a I think we need to shorten that.
Speaker 2: Let's just call it Happy for Doom Day.
Speaker 3: Yeah to you, Brittany's because the other Grammy nominations are out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, in our very own Kylie Minogue, actually a few
Speaker 4: he's got nominated. But Kylie Minogue, thank god got nominated
Speaker 4: for arm because I just took over the world.
Speaker 5: That song is such a banger. But also, I mean,
Speaker 5: if you've looked at that nomination list, there are so
Speaker 5: many women like they have overtaken the whole Grammy.
Speaker 2: There's only one man. It's all women. It's literally all women.
Speaker 4: Miley Cyrus, Billie Eilish, Olivia Rodrigo.
Speaker 2: She even got Voluntail, Swift Weir and.
Speaker 6: The man is a gay man in choice of art
Speaker 6: and another Ossie as well.
Speaker 2: You've got a bit of a soft spot for Troy,
Speaker 2: don't you miss?
Speaker 6: Totally women and gay men like that's this show.
Speaker 5: We are embodying us from top to bottom, isn't it?
Speaker 2: Literally?
Speaker 6: When we said that, all right, now, welcome to the
Speaker 6: top to bottom.
Speaker 5: You would talk about a bottom anyway, Okay, do you
Speaker 5: know what I wanted to tell you? Guys, kids really
Speaker 5: test us, And if you're a parent, you know what
Speaker 5: I mean. But I reckon, my daughter Mally May had
Speaker 5: the world's most ridiculous tantrum on the weekend. I think
Speaker 5: she wins the award for that. I'm going to tell
Speaker 5: you all.
Speaker 2: About it next.
Speaker 6: All right, let's go, the pick up is on for
Speaker 6: your Monday welcome.
Speaker 7: Now, if you're a parent, you would know that little
Speaker 7: kids are.
Speaker 5: Put on this earth to test us, to test our patience,
Speaker 5: to test our boundaries, to.
Speaker 2: Test your pelvic floor muscles. Did they do that as well?
Speaker 5: Yeah, but just to test you in every way, and
Speaker 5: they really love to push the limits. Now, I want
Speaker 5: to know if your kids, give us a call and
Speaker 5: let me make me feel better about this. I want
Speaker 5: to know the most ridiculous tantrums that your kids have
Speaker 5: ever had, because I think my child, Marley May, she's
Speaker 5: four years old, I reckon she probably had the most.
Speaker 2: Hellis tantrum that's ever happened.
Speaker 5: On the worst tantrum number one, the winner of all tantrums.
Speaker 6: Wow, where were you? What happened?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 7: So we were walking, we were out on the street
Speaker 7: in public. We were walking to.
Speaker 5: The public tantrum, and they are good because you have
Speaker 5: to try and decide are you going to discipline or
Speaker 5: are you just going to kind of drag them away
Speaker 5: from the scene of the crime, right, Like you've got
Speaker 5: to try and figure out how you're gonna how you're going.
Speaker 2: To mediate these sorts of tantrums.
Speaker 5: So we're walking along, we're right out the front of
Speaker 5: a very very busy cafe, and we've been talking about
Speaker 5: family structures, like we've been talking about my mum and
Speaker 5: my dad and how that's nana and granddad and kind
Speaker 5: of like where she fits in our family tree.
Speaker 7: And all of a sudden, she says, Mummy, so I'm
Speaker 7: a twin.
Speaker 2: And she's put two and.
Speaker 5: Two together because she has a sister, Lola. However, her
Speaker 5: sister is two years younger than her. And I was like, no, sweetie, Like,
Speaker 5: a twin is someone who's born on the same day.
Speaker 5: You know, you both shared mummy's tummy at the same time,
Speaker 5: I'm trying to explain what a twin is to a
Speaker 5: four year old, which, mind you, it sounds easy. That's
Speaker 5: a really hard call, Like that's a really complex thing
Speaker 5: to try try and explain to a four year old,
Speaker 5: and she turned around. She was like, no, Mummy, I'm
Speaker 5: a twin. I'm a twin because Lola is my sister
Speaker 5: and wear the same so I am a twin now.
Speaker 5: I didn't realize that she was getting quite so agitated
Speaker 5: by the fact that she's not a twin. And we're
Speaker 5: walking past this cafe and I said, no, darling, you
Speaker 5: you're not a twin. And this went on for a
Speaker 5: little while. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, my child,
Speaker 5: who is not a twin, throws herself out of the
Speaker 5: pram and I'm talking like Commando, rolls out of the
Speaker 5: prem onto the ground, onto the ground. She is laying
Speaker 5: face down on the ground, her skirt is up over
Speaker 5: her head, and she's screaming, I'm.
Speaker 6: A twin, I'm a twin.
Speaker 7: Mummy, you're the.
Speaker 2: Worst mummy ever, And so I what do you do?
Speaker 2: At that point, I was like, okay, give a biology lesson.
Speaker 7: I was a girlfriend. If you want to be a twin,
Speaker 7: you can be a twin.
Speaker 2: Get up.
Speaker 5: There's people the cafe table who was sitting next to
Speaker 5: us laughing, but me sombarrassed. I was conceding. I was like,
Speaker 5: if you want to be a twin, you can be
Speaker 5: a twin. That wasn't enough, she canntinued to screen.
Speaker 4: Do you think con seating is the right thing to
Speaker 4: do here? Obviously you want the tantrum to end Laura,
Speaker 4: But do you think it's more like, I don't know,
Speaker 4: maybe biologically she should understand that she's not a twin.
Speaker 5: You know, there's a hills that you have to choose
Speaker 5: whether you're going to die on them, and dying on
Speaker 5: the am I a twin hill was not the hill
Speaker 5: that I was. I was, I was so dumb And
Speaker 5: this went on for I'm not kidding five minutes and
Speaker 5: I ended up dragging her by her feet back into
Speaker 5: the pram.
Speaker 2: It was a whole scene.
Speaker 6: Christy, if you had you or your child, you had
Speaker 6: tantrum like this.
Speaker 4: Yesterday one was the funniest in a while.
Speaker 5: So my seven year old.
Speaker 4: Try the slight melt down yesterday because the sky was
Speaker 4: too broad.
Speaker 2: Right, But seven sevent is not where I put tantrums.
Speaker 2: I thought, tantrums.
Speaker 6: I've seen a tantrum.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if I don't get avocado or my rap as
Speaker 4: a tantrum.
Speaker 6: Tomorrow, Hi what was your kid's tantrum about?
Speaker 4: So we were doing our usual breakfast routine and we
Speaker 4: were asters in the tellowtoast, and because I couldn't carve
Speaker 4: it into a butterfly, our meltdown was more over. Yeah,
Speaker 4: then you didn't want to try to carve it into
Speaker 4: a butterfly, or your artistic skills aren't up to scratch. Look,
Speaker 4: I'm no artists, So there was no way I could
Speaker 4: get this butterfly.
Speaker 6: That's a hard shape, Like do a stuff that's a moth.
Speaker 2: She's like, what is this? Do you know what? I
Speaker 2: used to have tantrums when my mummy.
Speaker 4: You went through this phase where she always used to
Speaker 4: put those you know those I forget what they call
Speaker 4: their leggings, but they have the stirrups on them.
Speaker 2: They go under your feet. Oh yeah, you Supray used
Speaker 2: to have them. I hated them.
Speaker 4: Mum used to always make me wear them, and I
Speaker 4: remember tantrum every time. I was like, they're uncomfortable on
Speaker 4: my feet. They rubbed, they blister, they don't. I just
Speaker 4: didn't want to wear them, and I constantly had that
Speaker 4: tantrum as a kid.
Speaker 5: It's because you were a fashion icon brite, even when
Speaker 5: you were like, three, yes, don't maybe wear this outther house?
Speaker 2: Mum, I think you're fine. Fine is pronounced fashion. All right, Well,
Speaker 2: coming up, Mitch.
Speaker 5: You're in the dating world at the moment, and I
Speaker 5: know you say how tough it is, but I reckon,
Speaker 5: I have come across this single worst first date in
Speaker 5: the history of the world.
Speaker 6: You haven't spoken to one of my suitors, have you, Yeah.
Speaker 7: This came from one of the guys you've been dating.
Speaker 2: Fantastic intervention.
Speaker 6: Oh wait on the pickup.
Speaker 5: Now, if you were out there in the dating game,
Speaker 5: you know, going out there on your single dates, just
Speaker 5: trying to meet someone, it is tough.
Speaker 6: That's my life at the moment with.
Speaker 2: That for six years. What are you talking about?
Speaker 5: I did it for ten years, though I know and
Speaker 5: tell me I had some pretty terrible dates back in
Speaker 5: the day. But I came across what I think could
Speaker 5: possibly have been the worst date in the history of
Speaker 5: first dates. Now, we all can agree that it's quite
Speaker 5: important not to waste food, but the question is how
Speaker 5: far would you go? So this woman has gone out
Speaker 5: on a date with a guy who she metch with.
Speaker 5: She thought he was hot, she thought he seemed like
Speaker 5: he had his stuff together, and they sat down at
Speaker 5: this restaurant and she handed him a menu and he goes, oh, nah.
Speaker 2: No, I don't worry. I don't need a menu.
Speaker 5: And she goes, oh, you're just going to get a drink,
Speaker 5: Like we're not We're not doing food. Then he goes, no, no,
Speaker 5: you water, But I hate seeing food wasted.
Speaker 7: I'm just gonna have what's left on these plates.
Speaker 6: Here, no on the on the tables around him.
Speaker 5: And he points to the table next to him and
Speaker 5: right there is a bit of cold toast, some shriveled
Speaker 5: up sausages, and he was like, I'm quite happy to
Speaker 5: eat this. And the woman was like, okay, talk me through,
Speaker 5: talk me through what's going on here, Like, you know,
Speaker 5: the cost of living is harsh.
Speaker 6: What has happened could be a joke. Maybe he's being silly.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe he's joking.
Speaker 5: No, he hated seeing the wastage of food so much
Speaker 5: that he then took the plate of food and started
Speaker 5: eating what was left next to him by people who
Speaker 5: had been sitting there.
Speaker 4: Actually part of it I get. I'm like, cool, you
Speaker 4: don't always food, Like I love that about you. But
Speaker 4: you don't eat Somebody else's in a world of COVID germ,
Speaker 4: you don't eat someone's food on week six.
Speaker 5: If you were that crazy you hold that in first
Speaker 5: state is not going to cut it.
Speaker 2: I don't think I would ever twenty years deep into
Speaker 2: a marriage. My partner's not eating someone else. You don't
Speaker 2: even fart around your partner. You're not going to eat
Speaker 2: food or a plate next door.
Speaker 4: Or are you comparing eating some strangers leftover food a
Speaker 4: restaurant to doing a whiz pop?
Speaker 6: Sorry, really, take you are so weird?
Speaker 3: I will just say that I actually think i'd get
Speaker 3: I think there'd be an instant second date.
Speaker 6: Like he cares about the world and starvation. I would go,
Speaker 6: marry me. That's beautiful. That is beautiful.
Speaker 4: Yes, I've dated for only I mean in relationship for
Speaker 4: a year, but I was dating incessantly, NonStop. I was
Speaker 4: lining those bad boys up for a solid decade on
Speaker 4: every dating app, everywhere I could find them.
Speaker 2: They were lined up. Rather, I was trying.
Speaker 5: Went on so many dates in Australia that she ended
Speaker 5: up having to date someone overseas, and she exhausted the allocation.
Speaker 3: Actually had to download the Pakistani version of Tinder just
Speaker 3: so she could get a new pool of men.
Speaker 4: And I also remember there's this one guy, Like I
Speaker 4: have a list, I could tell you guys of bad
Speaker 4: first dates.
Speaker 2: But I remember this one guy rattle. Oh okay, you
Speaker 2: tell me trying.
Speaker 4: You want to hear about the guy that wanted to share,
Speaker 4: taking share to the new level, so he took food.
Speaker 2: Directly off my plate.
Speaker 4: The guy that had a really great banter online, but
Speaker 4: turns out he couldn't speak English in person, thanks Google Translate.
Speaker 4: Also the guy that made me get twenty dollars out
Speaker 4: of the atm mache to pay for our lunch. There
Speaker 4: was the guy that told me he left his wallet
Speaker 4: on the bus after our entire meal with drinks.
Speaker 2: What else you want to I've got a hundred one hundred.
Speaker 4: Different The guy that took me to a museum and
Speaker 4: then said he had to leave and left me at
Speaker 4: the museum.
Speaker 6: So wait, you slept over night at the museum?
Speaker 2: She said, Yeah, I was that movie A Night at
Speaker 2: the Museum. It was based on me.
Speaker 6: They Come Alive. Yeah, is that how you met Rebet Wilson.
Speaker 5: I want to know what was out of all the
Speaker 5: bad first dates you've had, what was the worst.
Speaker 2: The most awkward.
Speaker 4: One was the guy that the banter was great and
Speaker 4: the convo was great, very he was very articulate, right, like,
Speaker 4: very intelligent, very well constructed sentences. But that was because
Speaker 4: he didn't actually speak English, and he was Google translating everything,
Speaker 4: so Google Translate for the text would translate everything and
Speaker 4: put it into the text.
Speaker 2: So I just thought this guy was really intelligent, which.
Speaker 4: He could have been, but I'll never know because I
Speaker 4: couldn't speak to him when we got to the date.
Speaker 2: He didn't speak English. Wait, what what nationality was? He
Speaker 2: was Brazilian?
Speaker 6: Wow?
Speaker 5: Okay, so, and he was fully doing Google Translate for
Speaker 5: every conversation. And at no point, Britt, did he decide
Speaker 5: to tell you that prior, just so you were told me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he told me where he was from.
Speaker 4: But I assumed because he was speaking in texting in
Speaker 4: English he spoke English, but he didn't.
Speaker 2: He was just translated.
Speaker 6: He circled back to the museum. Did you get there
Speaker 6: with him?
Speaker 2: And then did he just like he was in London? Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was in London.
Speaker 4: We got there and then he said, I can't remember
Speaker 4: what excuse you did, but obviously he didn't like the
Speaker 4: way I looked or what something, or maybe he maybe
Speaker 4: there was an emergency, but he he just left me
Speaker 4: at the museum, and I'd already paid to get in,
Speaker 4: so I stayed in there.
Speaker 2: It wasn't a free me.
Speaker 5: Did he say that he needed to go to the bathroom?
Speaker 5: Was there any explanation for that?
Speaker 2: I have to go No. I think it was one
Speaker 2: of those like my friend called kind of things.
Speaker 3: Got it, You've really made it out and you found
Speaker 3: your beautiful boyfriend.
Speaker 2: He left me at the museum. I date the museum.
Speaker 6: Is that why you got with him so quickly? Like job,
Speaker 6: that's such a bad run. I'll take what I can get.
Speaker 4: A room, boyfriends six months and beautiful.
Speaker 2: That's why I said yes.
Speaker 6: All right. Hey.
Speaker 3: Next on the show, were almost had a run in
Speaker 3: that ended brit in hospital over the weekend. This is true,
Speaker 3: and I can say this but a fan and this
Speaker 3: happens sometimes with you know, being best friends with you.
Speaker 6: Know, YouTube must stop. It's very hard.
Speaker 3: A fan almost ended Britt in hospital when we were
Speaker 3: out together on the weekend. And let me just say,
Speaker 3: a bucket load of vomit was involved. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 3: want to well, I'm reliving it. Block your nose, guys,
Speaker 3: it's next on the pickup. So we were all hanging
Speaker 3: out on the weekend.
Speaker 6: Where't we go?
Speaker 2: We were because we actually are real friends outside of work.
Speaker 3: Were paid for three outings together a year and that was.
Speaker 7: The contracted with Beautiful Producers birthday.
Speaker 6: It was our Beautiful producer Tony. It was a birthday.
Speaker 3: So we all went out to a pub and we
Speaker 3: all had some drinks. So Laura was there, Britt, you
Speaker 3: were there, I was there. We were all hanging out
Speaker 3: and it was like a beautiful modern seating area.
Speaker 6: The bar was right next to the bench.
Speaker 2: Seating, very fancy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was beautiful. So Laura, you left right before
Speaker 3: this happened.
Speaker 5: I was only there for a short period of time,
Speaker 5: had some kids to get home to, and I smoke
Speaker 5: bombed earlier in the afternoon.
Speaker 6: Thank god you did.
Speaker 2: You're lucky. You were the winner.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: We're sitting there and as we're in Britt and I
Speaker 3: are there, we're drinking out of coconut sugar, and we
Speaker 3: hear this commotion happening at the bar, like we we
Speaker 3: kind of hear like clanking and screaming and moaning and groaning.
Speaker 2: You're like ah, and then something spoils over.
Speaker 3: And then we see a woman like a Poulter glass
Speaker 3: like a dementor, and Harry Potter like just rush to
Speaker 3: the bathrooms.
Speaker 6: We go, what is going on over there?
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 6: The gossip gets back to us at the.
Speaker 2: Taks, makes its way back through the bar.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you know when something happened at a bar,
Speaker 3: everyone's talking about it. A young girl had too many drinks,
Speaker 3: went to the bar to make another run. As she
Speaker 3: put her hands down on the mahogany wood, she vomited
Speaker 3: all over, projected all over the bar and the bar tender.
Speaker 7: I feel I can't even it was vomit. It makes
Speaker 7: me feel sick.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the physically, the smell of vomit, the look of
Speaker 4: vomit like makes you feel sick.
Speaker 7: But it was like she it was like like an exo.
Speaker 4: It came out of nowhere because she was just like happy, bubbly,
Speaker 4: nothing went up to order for the drink and then
Speaker 4: just put her hands on the bar and then it
Speaker 4: went poltergeisty like out the mountain.
Speaker 3: So the worst part was everyone was kind of like,
Speaker 3: who's that girl? Who's that girl? Because no one saw her.
Speaker 2: How did this girl not get kicked out.
Speaker 6: That's what she flew to the bathroom. I told you,
Speaker 6: like a demento.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she ran off.
Speaker 3: We thought she was gone. Fast forward to about twenty
Speaker 3: minutes time. No one knows what the phantom vomited demon
Speaker 3: girl looks like. We're sitting there, Britt and I go
Speaker 3: up to get a drink. And the only way I
Speaker 3: can describe it as like in those zombie movies when
Speaker 3: the zombie like sees fresh blood. This woman notices Britt.
Speaker 3: You know you and you guys are recognizable. She sees
Speaker 3: Britt out of the corner of her eyes, just like
Speaker 3: a zombie. She her hands are up like a t rex.
Speaker 3: She turns to Brit. She's got a chunk of vomit
Speaker 3: on the corners of her mouth.
Speaker 6: She goes really.
Speaker 4: Day and she makes an absolute bee line for us.
Speaker 4: Now we couldn't still be sure that this was the
Speaker 4: vomit girl, but she came up through.
Speaker 6: Or a chunk of vomit, and nine year that.
Speaker 4: She gave us all are hard because she was really sweet,
Speaker 4: a really big fan, and I could smell the moment
Speaker 4: and she was you know when you have had a
Speaker 4: few drinks and you want to be really close to someone,
Speaker 4: like rubbing up on them and stuff.
Speaker 2: She was so close to me.
Speaker 4: And all like it smells, and I'm a sympathetic vomitor.
Speaker 4: So I'm I'm trying to talk to this girl politely
Speaker 4: and I'm like.
Speaker 3: Oh, please, please, you're being polite. I was like the
Speaker 3: secret Service next to President Biden. I had to jump
Speaker 3: in front of brit in slow and a nugget of
Speaker 3: aaronsheenie landed on my cheek in front of it.
Speaker 6: To save Britt. She's stunk.
Speaker 2: Guys, I feel physically sick by this. So what did
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 5: Because obviously you want to be nice? Someone who hears
Speaker 5: and like follows the show, follows the podcast.
Speaker 2: And what do you dorit?
Speaker 6: Do you want to get a selfie?
Speaker 3: Baby?
Speaker 6: Don't think you do when you look at this photo.
Speaker 6: The next day.
Speaker 2: We got a nice little photo and then I said,
Speaker 2: do you want a glass of water?
Speaker 3: All right, well, listen before we go, we have a
Speaker 3: thousand dollars cash up for grabs thanks to Target.
Speaker 2: What a good time for thousand bucks too?
Speaker 6: Right before Chrissy, my god, it would be absolutely perfect.
Speaker 6: So this is I've got the Target present in front
Speaker 6: of me. All you need to do is tell me
Speaker 6: what is inside my gift box.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be a hard one to guess. What do
Speaker 2: you think it is? Well, when I want to guess,
Speaker 2: because if we guess and get.
Speaker 5: It right, all right, all right, Well, a thousand dollars
Speaker 5: could be yours if you can guess what that sound is.
Speaker 3: Correct, targets all over my hands, the pickup dot com
Speaker 3: dot You have a guess, and a thousand bucks could
Speaker 3: be yours.
Speaker 6: We'll see tomorrow.
Speaker 7: Bye guys,