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Speaker 1: On today's show, Sophie Guidolin clashes with her ex sister

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Speaker 1: in law over Instagram photos, Grazy Episcopo's new boyfriend Hard

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Speaker 1: launches their relationship, and Little Tay back from the Debt. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and welcome to Outspoken. It's your dose of the hottest

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Speaker 1: influencer and pop culture news twice a week. I'm Kate

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Speaker 1: Torbert and apparently our fourth triplet is appearing on the

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Speaker 1: Block currently, well, we would be quadruplets usually.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: We got a few messages about this because apparently we

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Speaker 1: look like Eliza, who's part of a sister duo on

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Speaker 1: the Block.

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Speaker 2: And I thought they were friends. No, they're sisters.

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Speaker 1: So I went and had a stalk, as you do,

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Speaker 1: and in the photos I was like, m can't really

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Speaker 1: see it.

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Speaker 2: And then I went and.

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Speaker 1: Watched some of the videos of her appearing on the Block,

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Speaker 1: and oh my god, there is such a striking, weird similarity.

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Speaker 1: I think it's the way we talk and these expressions

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Speaker 1: like she literally looked like me with a cap on.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't believe it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it sometimes can be the characteristics, I know, so

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Speaker 1: for you often get random lookalike, so it's always just

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Speaker 1: random blonde girls like I got a few times that

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Speaker 1: I look like a merely a web who's this makeup

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Speaker 1: part is? That was a very flattering one, But I mean,

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Speaker 1: you guys often get that.

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Speaker 2: You look like Anna Kendry.

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Speaker 1: I feel like OG listeners of the podcast would be

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Speaker 1: sick of hearing that comparison. Yeah, well, Eliza from the

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Speaker 1: Block is actually from Adelaide, so maybe we should try

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Speaker 1: and meet up with her at one point. Maybe she's

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Speaker 1: got our annoying Adelaide accents as well as some people

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Speaker 1: single thing.

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Speaker 2: How do you guys think you'd.

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Speaker 1: Go on the block though, because Dale and I have

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Speaker 1: often said it would be so fun, but we feel

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Speaker 1: like we'd be hated because we'd just be wrangling with

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Speaker 1: it over you know, what furniture were going to get.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine if the three of us were the

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Speaker 1: team on the block. I think they'd have to shut

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Speaker 1: down production the amount of arguing that would be going on.

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Speaker 1: I don't think Dale would actually get on the block

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Speaker 1: because he's got a very old fashioned taste in furniture

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Speaker 1: that I don't think is really relevant.

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Speaker 2: But he'd be great. He just get in there and

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Speaker 2: do everything. He'd do all the trading stuff.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I agree with you, k I think that

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Speaker 1: the block would have to move to a different time

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Speaker 1: slot if we were on there because of all the

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Speaker 1: arguing and verbal abuse one another. I've heard apparently it's

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Speaker 1: just a bitch first at the moment, but I do

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Speaker 1: want to tune.

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Speaker 2: In to see this Eliza. Now I've speaking of my interest.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was saying in our Facebook group, Oh, I'm watching

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Speaker 1: the block at the moment. I just can't get into

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Speaker 1: it because it's so bitchy. And I saw it and

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Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, better start watching the block.

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Speaker 3: Sounds good Another day, another packet of Tim Sam's that

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Speaker 3: I've slacked, slobby pigs, slob kebobs. Everyone has been complianted

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Speaker 3: so far on their like block bods, everyone except me.

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Speaker 1: Back in June, speculation was mounting that Graciepiscopo was dating

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Speaker 1: a mystery in New Zealander by the name of Daniel Klassen,

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Speaker 1: after photos of a woman that resembled her appeared on

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Speaker 1: his Instagram account. At the time, the Perth influencer denied

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Speaker 1: the rumors and continued to remain quiet on the status

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Speaker 1: of her relationship with baby Daddy Andre Rebello now. Just

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Speaker 1: a reminder, Andre is currently standing trial accused of murdering

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Speaker 1: his own mother, Colleen Bellow, but has pleaded not guilty.

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Speaker 2: So Gracie has stayed very.

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Speaker 1: Quiet on the matter, but there were rumors that she

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Speaker 1: was visiting Andre in prison and bankrolling his legal team. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's clear that where there's smoke, there is fire.

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Speaker 1: As on Thursday, Daniel Hard launched his relationship with Gracie,

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Speaker 1: so he shared photos of him and Gracie celebrating his

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Speaker 1: twenty eighth birthday on his now public Instagram account. In

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Speaker 1: one photo, the couple are cuddling whilst holding a bottle

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Speaker 1: of champagne. There were also photos of Gracie.

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Speaker 2: And Daniel enjoying a.

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Speaker 1: Stay at a luxury hotel a few months earlier. It's

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Speaker 1: pretty funny because it appears Gracie has made a gibe

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Speaker 1: but the media that were reporting on her new relationship

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Speaker 1: during the birthday celebration, So presumably she's the one that

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Speaker 1: organized Daniel's birthday cake because it was very similar to

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Speaker 1: the one she celebrated her birthday with a month ago. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: the cake was shaped like a love heart with words

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Speaker 1: Happy Birthday, New Zealand hunk in icing, which is a

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Speaker 1: nod to align in the Perth Now news story about

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Speaker 1: the then rumored couple. Now it seems like Daniel's friends

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Speaker 1: are in on the joke, because when you go have

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Speaker 1: a look at the people tagged in the birthday celebrations,

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Speaker 1: one has listed on his Instagram bio friend of the

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Speaker 1: New Zealand hunk with a link to the Perth Now article.

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Speaker 1: Whilst that's quite funny, I do find it a bit

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Speaker 1: odd though, because it's quite clear that they're both sitting

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Speaker 1: there googling themselves. And you know when you get in

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Speaker 1: a new relationship and you google someone, can you imagine

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Speaker 1: him googling racing pis Capote and seeing all this heavy

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Speaker 1: shit about Andre and this terrible thing that's happened with

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Speaker 1: his mom. The thing is she's a Perth girl, and

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Speaker 1: there's not a huge amount of influencers in Perth, like

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Speaker 1: there's not a huge amount of Adelaide, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like she is Perth's now obsession, just like Kayla Atsinas

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Speaker 1: is in Adelaide for the advertising. It's sort of like

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Speaker 1: the cover girl for perfoun Gotta remember this Daniel Glasson.

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Speaker 1: He's obviously not someone who's been in the influencers space

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Speaker 1: at all, so for him and his friends, it'd be

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Speaker 1: pretty funny him being nicknamed this mystery New Zealand tounguk.

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Speaker 1: Is it a bit weird that he's now taken his

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Speaker 1: account off private though, I think it's pretty telling because

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Speaker 1: Gracie knows that Daniel's Instagram account is being monitored by

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Speaker 1: the media, so I feel like this is a clear

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Speaker 1: statement from her.

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Speaker 2: A hard launch from her as well that they are together.

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Speaker 1: Was because she's trying to distance herself from Andre and

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Speaker 1: the terrible publicity around him, and also the criminal proceedings

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Speaker 1: around him. It has recently come out that his trial

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Speaker 1: date is set for October next year, so I think

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Speaker 1: it is a complete strategic move to say I'm not

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Speaker 1: with this guy anymore, and I've got nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with this case as well, and you'd want to move

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Speaker 1: on with your life as well. I mean, they do

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Speaker 1: have a child together, her and Andre, so obviously you

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Speaker 1: can't erase that connection. But I think it really does

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Speaker 1: put a big split between the two. It shows that

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Speaker 1: we won't be seeing Gracie turning up to court and

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Speaker 1: supporting Andre in any way, which I'm sure Perth Now

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Speaker 1: is devastated about because that photo would have sold a

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Speaker 1: lot of papers. It's a great move for her influencing,

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Speaker 1: so we would it have sold a lot of papers.

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Speaker 1: Anytime there's an article about influencers on Perth Now or

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Speaker 1: Adelaide Now, the comments or like who's that? Well, I apologize,

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Speaker 1: I apologize. It would have got a lot of clicks

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Speaker 1: when the young people read online. Yeah, but the jokes

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Speaker 1: on those morons think they're so clever making that comment,

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Speaker 1: because that just creates engagement. And then again that's why

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Speaker 1: the news publications post it. I hope you will add.

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Speaker 3: The most amazing day Today.

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Speaker 1: Sophie Gwiedlin is in a bit of an awkward online

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Speaker 1: fight with her ex sister in law. So it all

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Speaker 1: started when Sophie and her fitness program The Bod, shared

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Speaker 1: before and after photos of Sophie that were apparently taken

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Speaker 1: six weeks apart. The photos were part of an advertising

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Speaker 1: campaign to promote The Bod's fitness challenge, and in the

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Speaker 1: before photo, Sophie looked lean but a little bit undefined,

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Speaker 1: while in the after she's completely ripped. She's got a

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Speaker 1: full on six pack, and people began immediately questioning the promotion,

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Speaker 1: with some followers calling misleading. So The BOD responded to

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Speaker 1: followers urging them to read the full caption. Now it's

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Speaker 1: a little bit sneaky because the caption that appeared above

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Speaker 1: the fold on Instagram reads our proven method time and

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Speaker 1: time again, the BOD founder Sophie Gwiedland, trying our new

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Speaker 1: transformation challenge week one to week six, You then have

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Speaker 1: to scroll down at ten paragraphs of text beneath that

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Speaker 1: to then read a disclaimer at the end that says

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Speaker 1: our founder, Sophie, whilst once was a beginner and has

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Speaker 1: used our exact methods time and time again, is now

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Speaker 1: a qualified professional athlete. The backlash was so much the

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Speaker 1: comments actually had to be turned off on the post.

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Speaker 2: Now, amid all.

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Speaker 1: Of this backlash, Sophie's former sister in law, Bev Figaria,

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Speaker 1: decided to share her views on influencers photoshopping more like

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Speaker 1: stick than knife in Yeah Now, she urged her followers

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Speaker 1: not to compare their real life to someone's controlled online content.

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Speaker 1: She wrote, I'm so glad I have boys and not girls.

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Speaker 1: One influencer in the past motivated me to get in

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Speaker 1: shape as I used to be absolutely obsessed with her body.

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Speaker 1: I honestly thought she was perfect. I would have traded

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Speaker 1: bodies with her if I could. All I saw was

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Speaker 1: social media. There's the healthy part of being motivated by

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Speaker 1: someone to get in shape, and then there's the part

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Speaker 1: where you don't understand why your waiste is not a

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Speaker 1: small or why you have cellio at, why you have

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Speaker 1: no abs, why you can't build muscles super quick, etc.

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Speaker 1: Even though you have trained hard for months and months

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Speaker 1: and you eat healthy. Then you find out some of

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Speaker 1: those influences photoshop their bodies, know how to pose, amongst

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Speaker 1: other things. This is actually so dangerous for all these

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Speaker 1: young girls and adults struggling with their body image and

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Speaker 1: mental health.

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Speaker 2: It's really upsetting to see.

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Speaker 1: I've got to say I agree with her posts and

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Speaker 1: her sentiments. Yeah, but it's interesting timing because everyone is

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Speaker 1: assuming that she has taken aim at Sophie Gwiedland, even

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Speaker 1: Sophie Gweedland herself, because she actually hit back and shared

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Speaker 1: some photos of herself and wrote, you can't photoshop a video.

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Speaker 1: These are my results, whether they resonate.

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Speaker 2: With you or not.

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Speaker 1: The beauty of each individual is that we choose ourselves

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Speaker 1: how we wish to live and look, I feel so

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Speaker 1: sad for people. Seriously, I'm so glad I'm surrounded by love,

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Speaker 1: overflowing with gratitude each day, and not to live in

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Speaker 1: such a low frequency.

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Speaker 2: Gosh.

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Speaker 1: Her response just reminds me of something Mitch thirdled, right,

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Speaker 1: all those references to low frequency. It's like we need

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Speaker 1: a translator, like from influenza to normal person.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean? It just means I'm happier than you.

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Speaker 1: H'm happy, Fuck you, I'm successful. It's interesting to hear

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Speaker 1: Bev talk about the fact that Sophie was a motivator

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Speaker 1: for her and that she really wanted to get in

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Speaker 1: shape like her and was quite envious of her figure.

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Speaker 1: And that is because Sophie Gwidland used to be friendly

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Speaker 1: with Andrew Figaria, the brother for you, for years before

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Speaker 1: they actually got together. So I feel like Bev somewhat

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Speaker 1: had a almost a.

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Speaker 2: Paras parasocial relationship.

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Speaker 1: She sort of knew her and probably saw all these

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Speaker 1: amazing things going on in her life.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't that.

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Speaker 1: Say a lot as well, that, as you said, she

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Speaker 1: had this parasocial relationship with Sophie, but then the reality

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Speaker 1: of meeting her and I suppose even seeing what goes

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Speaker 1: into having a body like that.

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Speaker 2: Or she tought her off.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean she's accused her at photoshopping, so she's

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Speaker 1: seen her body in real life and then sees the

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Speaker 1: way displayed online. Now Bev actually has responded to Sophie's

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Speaker 1: posts and said, my posts are my thoughts I have

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Speaker 1: usually at the gym, as it's my time alone. I

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Speaker 1: speak my mind, whether it's about my mental health or

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Speaker 1: my kids. My posts are not aimed at anyone in particular.

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Speaker 1: I don't compare myself to the hundreds of influencers online

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Speaker 1: because you don't know what is real or what is not.

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Speaker 1: People need to stop jumping to conclusions, as I don't

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Speaker 1: want to start worrying every time I post that it

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Speaker 1: will be taken out of context. Now I am on

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Speaker 1: team BEV, but I do have to say, of course

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Speaker 1: people are going to jump to conclusions because this isn't

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Speaker 1: the first time she has made jibes about Sophie online.

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Speaker 1: Do we have to be team Bev or Team Sophie.

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Speaker 1: I don't really team anyone. I'm looking at this objectively

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Speaker 1: from the relationship of having you know, your relationship with

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Speaker 1: a sister in law.

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Speaker 2: I think it's.

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Speaker 1: Awkward that they're clearly wrangling online. Yeah, but there's a

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Speaker 1: reason why I get that.

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Speaker 2: There's a reason I'm sticking up for her brother yip,

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Speaker 2: But does.

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Speaker 1: It really help making these sort of comments and oh

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Speaker 1: my god, say you're such a fens hitter. I actually

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Speaker 1: am team BEV as well. But don't you think that

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Speaker 1: there is this unspoken competitiveness between sister in laws in

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Speaker 1: a way, particularly if they're the blood relative. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I think also if they're close in age, because brothers

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Speaker 1: and sisters have.

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Speaker 2: A really weird relationship.

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Speaker 1: I mean those who I've come across, because I mean,

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Speaker 1: they're we're talking about this the other day. Having sisters

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Speaker 1: as opposed to a brother is really different because with sisters,

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Speaker 1: you sort of tell each other everything. You can yell

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Speaker 1: at each other, but with a brother and sister, they

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Speaker 1: sort of look out for each other. I think they

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Speaker 1: always is crae, and there's an age where you don't

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Speaker 1: like you have to stop sharing a room, whereas with sisters,

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Speaker 1: it's almost like their businesses yours all the time. Why

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Speaker 1: do you think there's more competitiveness? Is that because it's

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Speaker 1: sort of who can impress the family more well, I

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Speaker 1: do think it depends on the sister in law as well.

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Speaker 1: It definitely does. I do think it has something to

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Speaker 1: do with the blood relative though, because I suppose growing up,

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Speaker 1: if you've got a brother, they're always your number one supporter,

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Speaker 1: They're your corner. However, when that guy then marries someone

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Speaker 1: or gets into a relationship, they then have to be

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Speaker 1: their wife's or girlfriend's biggest supporter. I think it's different

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Speaker 1: when it's just, say, for instance, two sister and lot

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Speaker 1: two women coming into the scenario and dating two brothers,

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Speaker 1: because you almost more have this great friendship with the

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Speaker 1: new person coming in because you bond over because you're

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Speaker 1: one of them. You guys are the outsiders, so you

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Speaker 1: bond over what that family does differently. Now moving away

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Speaker 1: from this photo shopping drama, Sophie Gwiedland has dropped a

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Speaker 1: few clues that she may be releasing a book. So

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Speaker 1: a follower commented on one of her posts that body though,

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Speaker 1: and Sophie replied, Nah, thanks, girl, finally feeling like me

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Speaker 1: after a hell two years. Well, actually like a new person,

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Speaker 1: to be honest. She then went on to say I

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Speaker 1: won't share too much, but I wrote a chapter on

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Speaker 1: a book I've been writing for three years today and

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Speaker 1: it's like my alignment has come full circle.

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Speaker 2: Don't you love the.

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Speaker 1: Voice that everyone puts on for reading out other people's captions.

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Speaker 1: I always get a weird voice in my head when

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Speaker 1: I see someone wrote no, because.

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Speaker 2: I never write no.

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Speaker 1: I'm always like, Oh, I for one will be buying

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Speaker 1: this book as soon as it hits the shelves because

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Speaker 1: I want to know what Sophie has to say about

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Speaker 1: her relationship breakdown with doctor Andrew. That year Cosne told

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Speaker 1: Thou This year, Cosne ten Thou. Followers of social media

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Speaker 1: personality and rapper Little Tay have been left in a

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Speaker 1: state of confusion after it was announced last week that

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Speaker 1: she died as sudden and tragic death. A day later,

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Speaker 1: she made a dramatic return from the dead, Sophie, can

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Speaker 1: you tell us about Little Tay? When this popped up

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Speaker 1: on my Facebook feed, I had literally no idea who

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Speaker 1: Little Tay was? And sorry, it cracks him up because

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Speaker 1: beforehand we were saying, is it little Tay? Do we

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Speaker 1: pronounce it little Tay or little Tay? I feel like

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Speaker 1: it might be interchangeable, but anyway, I feel like we'll

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Speaker 1: all be in the same boat if not really knowing

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Speaker 1: who she is. She was only nine years old when

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Speaker 1: she gained a lot of notoriety in twenty eighteen, and

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Speaker 1: it was posting very controversial videos where she was either

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Speaker 1: going off on the foulmouth rants or she was showing

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Speaker 1: off a lot of her wealth. And it did come

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Speaker 1: out that apparently her mum was using former employees' homes

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Speaker 1: or cars to basically film a lot of this content

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Speaker 1: in front of so it's question whether she does actually

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Speaker 1: have a wealthy background or not. Imagine when these went

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Speaker 1: viral and she's like the mom's like, oh fuck yeah.

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Speaker 2: Found Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was this real shock value though, that made her

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Speaker 1: gain a lot of traction on a lot of views.

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Speaker 1: And it wasn't long before she actually disappeared from the

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Speaker 1: Internet and spotlight altogether because she hasn't really been online

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Speaker 1: for five years until this weird post came out. So

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Speaker 1: on Wednesday, after five years of silent, a post came

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Speaker 1: out on Little Tay's Instagram announcing she had died a

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Speaker 1: sudden and tragic death, and the post said it's with

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Speaker 1: a heavy heart that we share the devastating news of

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Speaker 1: our beloved Claire's sudden and tragic passing. We have no

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Speaker 1: words to express the unbearable loss and indescribable pain. This

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Speaker 1: outcome was entirely unexpected and has left us all in shock.

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Speaker 1: Her brother's passing adds an even more unimaginable depth to

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Speaker 1: our grief. Now this was what was even more bizarre,

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Speaker 1: because this post was claiming that her brother, Jason, had

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Speaker 1: also recently passed away. Now, this news traveled very fast,

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Speaker 1: and the stories of her death quickly hit the mainstream media.

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Speaker 1: Now I saw these headlines and again I didn't really

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Speaker 1: know who she was, but TikTok were all over it.

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Speaker 1: She was trending on TikTok, and as what is usual

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Speaker 1: on TikTok, a lot of conspiracy theory started bubbling under

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Speaker 1: the surface. Because Little Tay's brand was built on shock value,

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Speaker 1: so many people are questioning, well, is this announcement a hoax?

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Speaker 1: And I think people were hoping it was. And this

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Speaker 1: was further ignited when Little Tay's ex manager, Henry Sang

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Speaker 1: weighed in, telling the media, I think she's alive and

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Speaker 1: I think it was fake. So Henry said he was

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Speaker 1: skeptical about why the statement hadn't been signed from anyone

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Speaker 1: in Little Tay's family. It's so odd because at the time,

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Speaker 1: Little Tay's father also chose not to confirm or deny

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Speaker 1: the deaths.

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Speaker 2: And this is particularly weird.

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Speaker 1: Because a day later, Little Tay reportedly reached out to

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Speaker 1: the US media confirming that she was in fact alive

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Speaker 1: and that her Instagram account was compromised by.

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Speaker 2: A third party.

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Speaker 1: So she released a statement to entertainment website TMZ saying,

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Speaker 1: I want to make it clear that my brother and

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Speaker 1: I are safe and alive, but I'm completely heartbroken and

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Speaker 1: struggling to find the right words to say. It's been

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Speaker 1: a very traumatizing twenty four hours. All day yesterday, I

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Speaker 1: was bombarded with endless, heartbreaking and tearful calls from loved ones,

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Speaker 1: all while trying to sort out this mess. My Instagram

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Speaker 1: was compromised by a third party and used to spread

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Speaker 1: jarring misinformation and rumors regarding me, to the point that

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Speaker 1: even my name was wrong. My legal name is Tatn,

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Speaker 1: not Claire Hope. She also then went on to thank

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Speaker 1: Instagram for helping her recover the account. Is it terrible

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00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,360
Speaker 1: that this just reminds me of it of that episode

362
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 1: of Friends where Ross pretends he's dead to hear what

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Speaker 1: all of his old school friends.

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Speaker 2: Say about it.

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00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 1: So it's quite sad. But when someone passes away, everyone

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Speaker 1: is suddenly reinterested in them, and she started trending on TikTok.

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Speaker 2: So it's awkward.

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Speaker 1: But this has kind of resurrected her social media career

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Speaker 1: as well, because she's fourteen now. She was big on social.

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Speaker 2: Media when she was nine years old.

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Speaker 1: We haven't heard much of her from the last five years,

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Speaker 1: and then suddenly she's trending on TikTok. It sounds awful,

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Speaker 1: But does anyone think that this possibly could have been

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Speaker 1: a strategy to help gain interest back in Little Take Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there is a lot of speculation online at the moment

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Speaker 1: that this is an attention seeking stune.

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Speaker 2: Even her ex manager weighed in.

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Speaker 1: Saying that he thinks that the whole thing was orchestrated

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Speaker 1: by Little Tay and her family. It's quite odd because

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Speaker 1: her father, he didn't say anything the day before about

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Speaker 1: a hacking going on, He didn't deny that she had

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Speaker 1: passed away, and her family do seem quite heavily invested

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Speaker 1: in monetizing their child. I mean she's only fourteen, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean at the time in twenty eighteen, they basically

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Speaker 1: trademarked everything, and they weren't shy about monetizing her, so

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Speaker 1: they literally had memes of her face on scarves and

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00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,119
Speaker 1: different things that they could sell. And she also was

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Speaker 1: reportedly homeschooled at the time because her family said that

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Speaker 1: she was too famous. So it feels like they're very

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Speaker 1: caught up in the fame game. What I don't get

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Speaker 1: is why did they include that her brother was also dead?

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Speaker 2: Was this just to add to the story.

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00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,240
Speaker 1: Well, I do have to say that Meta have since

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00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 1: come out and confirmed that Little Tay's account was in

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00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,200
Speaker 1: fact hacked, and that they assisted her in gaining control

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Speaker 1: of it again.

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Speaker 2: But hacked by who. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: It's a very weird story. I wonder Meda could surely

399
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 1: trace the IP and found who did it. Oh listen,

400
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:39,879
Speaker 1: we should stop up on the way and get a

401
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,280
Speaker 1: bottle of wine or something. Yeah, what for these people

402
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,399
Speaker 1: invited us for dinner?

403
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 2: We have to bring something?

404
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,200
Speaker 1: Why?

405
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,720
Speaker 2: Because it's rude otherwise, So you're telling me, instead of

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00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,080
Speaker 2: them being happy to see.

407
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,159
Speaker 3: Me, they're going to be upset because I didn't bring anything.

408
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,200
Speaker 2: The fabric of society is very complex. George.

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00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 1: Now let's get into am I the asshole? A man

410
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,199
Speaker 1: has ridden into Reddit asking is he the asshole for

411
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 1: asking his wife to text him all the errands she

412
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,960
Speaker 1: will be running for him? So, for some context, he

413
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,480
Speaker 1: commutes into work, which takes him an hour and a

414
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,959
Speaker 1: half each day, and his wife is a stay at

415
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 1: home mum who looks after their six year old son.

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00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,960
Speaker 1: So originally she would run some errands for him, but

417
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,200
Speaker 1: it got to the stage where sometimes she would forget

418
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 1: to do things for him, and he would get a

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00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 1: little bit annoyed about that. So he ended up demanding

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Speaker 1: that his wife texts him at the start of the

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00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,399
Speaker 1: day the list of errands that she will be running

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00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 1: for him, and at four point thirty he checks in

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00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 1: to see how it's all going and to make sure

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00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 1: it's all done. Now, who is the asshole in this situation?

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00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: Because she's not happy with it, she says, Look, I

426
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 1: can remember all the things. Do we have to have

427
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 1: you checking in on me like I'm a child? I

428
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 1: think a lot of listeners will agree with my sentiment

429
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 1: this guy is the asshole. There's nothing wrong with occasionally

430
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 1: asking your partner if they have time to pick something

431
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 1: up but the fact that he is treating his wife

432
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 1: as though she's some sort of personal assistant and that

433
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 1: he's the boss of the house who she's.

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Speaker 2: Got a report back to.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry, but those are your personal jobs

436
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 1: or errands that you can run after work or on

437
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,640
Speaker 1: the weekend. He did say he works ten hour day,

438
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 1: so I actually do feel sorry for people who work

439
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,400
Speaker 1: a nine to five job and don't work from home,

440
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 1: because since working from home, I'm always like, how do

441
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 1: people fit in these errands because you have so much

442
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,399
Speaker 1: life admin going on, and if there's not someone that

443
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 1: has the flexibility to do those things, because there's things

444
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 1: that you can only get done between nine to five,

445
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 1: which doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah, I totally

446
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,080
Speaker 1: get that, but are the things every week and every

447
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,400
Speaker 1: day that you need done. It sounds like this guy

448
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 1: is demanding every day his partner gone pick up things

449
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: for him and have her running around the city as

450
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 1: though she's got nothing better to do. And that's what

451
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 1: I find condescending, because yes, she may be a stay

452
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 1: at home mum, and I get that her child is

453
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,719
Speaker 1: probably at school, but there's still a lot of mental

454
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 1: burden around the house and her own errands that she

455
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: needs to be running, or maybe things that she wants

456
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 1: to be enjoying and doing well. It is very dependent

457
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,959
Speaker 1: on what the errands are, because if they are errands

458
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,360
Speaker 1: that mutually benefit both of them, then you know it's

459
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,119
Speaker 1: fair enough to get her to do them if she

460
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: has got the free time.

461
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 2: However, I think the.

462
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: Issue is that he's treating her like a child, and

463
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 1: because one day she may have forgotten to do something,

464
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 1: or hey, it may have been too busy to do it,

465
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 1: he's now breathing down her.

466
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 2: Neck being like, oh, have you done it? Have you

467
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 2: done it? That's a thing.

468
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 1: I feel like he doesn't respect her role in the

469
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: home and he's been condescending and acting as if she's

470
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 1: got nothing better to do than go and act as

471
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 1: his pa and do the things that he doesn't want.

472
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 2: To do on the weekend.

473
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: I think, generally speaking, women often hold the burden of

474
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 1: the mental load in the household. So there's these jobs

475
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 1: that they just end up having to do. You don't

476
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: get a lot of thanks for them, and they're done

477
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: and people don't really notice that they're done. For exs

478
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 1: like buying presents. You know, it's something that women always do,

479
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 1: or making sure that if you're going to a friend

480
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 1: or family member's house that you remember to bring a

481
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: dish or bring chocolates or I feel like men, generally speaking,

482
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: don't think about these things because maybe they've been brought

483
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 1: up that they don't have.

484
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 2: To worry about.

485
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 1: I think women do it to people please and women

486
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: like to be liked. No. I also think it's because

487
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 1: in these scenarios, we've been socialized to think that it

488
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 1: reflects poorly on the woman if they don't do these things.

489
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 1: So for instance, if your mother in law was to

490
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 1: drop by it's and the house was a mess, it's

491
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 1: not oh my god, my son hasn't been cleaning up enough.

492
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: It's like you haven't been looking after him.

493
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

494
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: I think that is a totally wrong way of thinking,

495
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 1: but I feel like we still have that thought in

496
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: our culture. Or if you go to a friend's house,

497
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: even if it's your partner's friend, and you don't bring

498
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 1: a dish or you don't bring a thank you present,

499
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 1: it reflects on the woman for some reason, not the guy.

500
00:22:59,000 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 2: Yeah.

501
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: I mean people might say, oh, well, the mental load

502
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: is just created by women then, because they're imagining these things.

503
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: But I don't think it's an imagination. I do think

504
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 1: that there is judgment on women if you don't act

505
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 1: a certain way or aren't polite in those situations. But

506
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: there's also the mental load of filling in insurance forms

507
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,360
Speaker 1: or paying bills or doing the shop. And I also

508
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: think that we've got to stop being the martyrs and

509
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 1: just accepting that. So I push back on it a lot.

510
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 1: For instance, my partner, he will buy a lot of

511
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 1: his family's presence. I'm happy to get involved in bring

512
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 1: some thoughts, but I leave him in charge of those things. Yeah. See,

513
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: Reese is really good in like in terms of bringing

514
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: stuff to people's houses. He'll always bring a bottle of wine,

515
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 1: and he actually is very organized with gifts. I've kind

516
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 1: of taken over because there was one Christmas where he

517
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 1: was in charge, and look, I don't think we spend

518
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: enough money on the gifts, so I was happy to

519
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: take charge of it. But it does become very stressful

520
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: leading into Christmas.

521
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 2: That's the thing. I think. It's all about communication.

522
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 1: So in a partnership, if there's an area that one

523
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,199
Speaker 1: partner is better at doing or better at covering, then

524
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 1: I think it's good to have that communication and know

525
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 1: that they're covering now. But back to the actual scenario.

526
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 1: I think the guy's problem is it seems very ungrateful

527
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 1: and it feels like he's diminishing what his wife actually

528
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 1: has to do during the day and thinks that his

529
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 1: errands should be the top priority, and I think that's wrong.

530
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear what you guys think about this

531
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: when we will leave a post in our Facebook community

532
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: where you can leave your opinions. I think that is

533
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: all we have time for though today. Thank you so

534
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: much for joining us. If you have enjoyed today's show,

535
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: could you please make sure you are subscribed on Apple

536
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 1: podcast and also Spotify. It's really exciting because we now

537
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 1: have Outspoken Plus, which is our subscription series now on Spotify.

538
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 1: We do have a link in the show notes if

539
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 1: you want to sign up to it. This podcast was

540
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: recorded on the traditional land of the Ghana people of

541
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 1: the Adelaide Planes. We pay respect to elders past and present.

542
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 3: The first one, man's.

543
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: Strang breaks to trappings people, that's that man's fram breaks

544
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 1: to rape. That's not man's strong