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Speaker 1: My name is Tatasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations

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Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young Ganya, Niana,

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Speaker 1: Kaka yah y and beIN Ahaka Nian our gay In Nimbini,

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Speaker 1: yakarum Jar, Dominyama, Umagahawakaman, damon Imlan Bumba, bang Gadabomba in

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Speaker 1: and now in wakah Ghana on yak rum Jar water Nadaa. Hello,

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Speaker 1: beautiful friends, we gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people.

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Speaker 1: We thank acknowledge and respect the Aberiginal people's land that

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Speaker 1: we're gathering on today. Take pleasure in all the land

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Speaker 1: and respect all that you see. She's on the Money

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Speaker 1: podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections, bringing you the tools,

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Speaker 1: knowledge and resources for you to thrive.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 3: that's here to help you spend, save and invest in

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Speaker 3: line with your values. No, I am not Victoria Devine

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Speaker 3: and she's not even here today. I've given her the

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Speaker 3: day off because I wanted to do something special. I'm

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Speaker 3: Jess Ricky and today we're talking about something that sits

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Speaker 3: right at the intersection of money, identity, and self worth.

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Speaker 3: Our wardrobes. You know that feeling when you're staring at

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Speaker 3: a closet full of clothes but still think to yourself, oh,

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Speaker 3: I've got nothing to wear. Well, my guest today knows

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Speaker 3: it better than anyone. She's someone we've had on. She's

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Speaker 3: on the money before. She's the founder of the Broke

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Speaker 3: Generation and the author of the brand new brook The

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Speaker 3: Wardrobe Project, A year Buying Less and Liking yourself More.

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Speaker 3: I've invited Emma Edwards into the studio today to talk

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Speaker 3: about how a No Bay Yar changed not just her wardrobe,

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Speaker 3: but her entire relationship with spending, confidence, and identity. Welcome

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Speaker 3: back to the show, Emma.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me again. Oh just

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Speaker 2: to move so excited to see you.

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Speaker 3: I have been an avid follower of the whole Wardrobe journey,

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Speaker 3: from when you did it your very first short challenge,

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Speaker 3: all the way through. I cannot tell you how excited

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Speaker 3: I am to talk to you a bit more about

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Speaker 3: it and what you've learned and the book.

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Speaker 2: Yes, thank you.

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Speaker 4: It's been a long time coming, I think because I

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Speaker 4: did the original challenge in like twenty twenty three. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: documented it all and now it's immortalized in a book.

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Speaker 3: As it should be. And I feel like it's exactly

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Speaker 3: as I said. It's something that so many of us

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Speaker 3: can relate to, right, Like that feeling of standing in

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Speaker 3: your closet and looking at like killos and killos of clothes.

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Speaker 3: I mean, like there's nothing in here, not one suitable

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Speaker 3: thing is crazy. So I'm very excited to get your

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Speaker 3: thoughts on how we can kind of work around our

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Speaker 3: mindset on that. But before we start, I wanted to

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Speaker 3: go back to who you were before the Wardrobe project.

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Speaker 3: Can you paint me a little bit of a picture

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Speaker 3: of the old Emma Edwards, not just the kind of

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Speaker 3: shopper that you were, but what you were going through

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Speaker 3: I guess on a deeper level.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go.

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Speaker 4: All the way back. I mean it's a funny one

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Speaker 4: for me. I think writing a book like this and

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Speaker 4: doing this challenge because everyone's like, didn't you write the

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Speaker 4: book called Good with Money?

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Speaker 2: Like aren't you meant to be really good at money?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 4: And I think that's where it got really interesting for

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Speaker 4: me because for me, before this challenge.

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Speaker 2: You know, way we were back.

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Speaker 4: Was a hot money mess, I always called myself, but

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Speaker 4: kind of in the year leading up to the challenge specifically,

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Speaker 4: I'd done so much work on my finances. I've got

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Speaker 4: so many of my ducks in a row, but there

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Speaker 4: was just this one kind of nagging area of spending

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Speaker 4: and my kind of I guess behavior that was still

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Speaker 4: I don't want to say a problem, but it wasn't

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Speaker 4: kind of fitting into the same boxes that the other

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Speaker 4: things that I'd worked on in my money had. I

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Speaker 4: wasn't spending money I didn't have anymore, but I was

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Speaker 4: still buying things with this sort of cycle of an

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Speaker 4: emotional high followed by a crash. And I used to

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Speaker 4: kind of do that with all kinds of things, and

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Speaker 4: my money in general would be very chaotic. But I

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Speaker 4: started to get on top of that sort of in

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Speaker 4: twenty eighty and I started that journey. End of twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 4: I paid off my debt. Then twenty twenty, you know,

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Speaker 4: we started to have lockdowns and things, but I was

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Speaker 4: lucky enough to keep my job and I was side

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Speaker 4: hustling at the time, so you know, I was saving

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Speaker 4: and I was still making that kind of progress. But

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Speaker 4: I think particularly here in Melbourne. You know, by twenty

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Speaker 4: twenty two, we were only a deep breath away from

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Speaker 4: the last lockdown.

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Speaker 3: It simultaneously feels so long ago, and also it honestly

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Speaker 3: feels like yesterday as well. I can't begin to explain it.

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Speaker 3: Trying to tell people who weren't here during those lockdowns

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Speaker 3: feels impossible.

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Speaker 4: Exactly, especially when I tell this timeline and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you know, twenty twenty two, I started to think about

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Speaker 4: doing this year without buying clothes, and they're like, what

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Speaker 4: do you mean that was right after lockdown.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, we came out of lockdown October twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and we didn't know if we were going to

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Speaker 4: you know, the first half of twenty twenty two, we

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Speaker 4: were like, well, when's the next one? Like, when's Lockdown seven?

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Speaker 4: And I think, like a lot of women, I had

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Speaker 4: an interesting experience during lockdown in that my relationship with

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Speaker 4: my body was just like thrown into.

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Speaker 2: The dumpster fire.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't agree more.

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Speaker 4: I discovered getting wine delivered to my house. I drank

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Speaker 4: a lot ate, a lot of cheese, and like I've

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Speaker 4: always been like a bigger gal, like a little.

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Speaker 2: Bit chunky or whatever.

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Speaker 4: But I was sort of around that the same time,

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Speaker 4: you know, getting back to the point of like accepting

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Speaker 4: my body's natural set point. And you know, I'd had

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Speaker 4: just sort of eating problems in the past, I'd sort

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Speaker 4: of really made good progress on, but then being stuck

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Speaker 4: inside and kind of dealing with rapid body changes as

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Speaker 4: well as kind of going back out into the world

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Speaker 4: and back into work and nothing fitting. And you know,

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Speaker 4: loads of people bought clothes online during COVID even though

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Speaker 4: we had nowhere to go.

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Speaker 2: I was one of those people.

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Speaker 3: Small bit of joy, any bit of joy we could.

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Speaker 4: Get, literally, And I really went through this sort of

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Speaker 4: cycle of trying to reinvent myself and wanting to emerge

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Speaker 4: from lockdown a different person or a more polished person,

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Speaker 4: or you know, really wanting to like put this. I

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Speaker 4: guess it's probably something to do with wanting to make

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Speaker 4: all of that lost time mean something. I went into

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Speaker 4: lockdown in my twenties came out in my thirties, Yeah, wow,

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Speaker 4: And that was you know, everybody's got their own kind

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Speaker 4: of experience with the years that they missed, but yeah,

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Speaker 4: for me, I'd had a lot of things I wanted

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Speaker 4: to feel about myself by the time I was thirty,

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Speaker 4: and I don't think I would have got them anyway

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Speaker 4: because of where that feeling was coming from. But I

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Speaker 4: think lockdown made that even worse. And so, yeah, before

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Speaker 4: the challenge, I was really in this cycle of constantly

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Speaker 4: reinventing myself and buying things for the person that I

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Speaker 4: wanted to be, and kind of having this idea in

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Speaker 4: my head of what something was going to look like

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Speaker 4: on me or what it was going to change, you know,

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Speaker 4: how it was going to change my life, the lifestyle

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Speaker 4: it was going to give me, and then not getting that, yeah,

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Speaker 4: And that's when I started to think, Oh, this is

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Speaker 4: really lingering. This is one part of my behavior that

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Speaker 4: I'm not able to control. Sounds really restrictive, but I

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Speaker 4: don't feel good about yeah, And that's when I started

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Speaker 4: to think about what would it be like to just

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Speaker 4: not buy anything for a whole year.

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Speaker 3: And that's a very radical thought to have, especially in

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Speaker 3: this day and age, I feel, because exactly what you

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Speaker 3: were touching on. I guess the broader psychology of it

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Speaker 3: all is, you know, so much of marketing leans into

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Speaker 3: you're going to feel a satin way become a certain

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Speaker 3: person by owning this product. It's this idea that we're

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Speaker 3: sold by influencers, by brands, by everything, but the thought

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Speaker 3: of making it through a whole year. I remember when

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Speaker 3: you first announced it on your Instagram because I followed

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Speaker 3: you forever. I remember when you said it. I was like, conceptually,

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Speaker 3: I love it, but I simply could never do it

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Speaker 3: because I feel like it's so hard for me to

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Speaker 3: imagine stepping outside of the consumers. And I guess and

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't consider myself like a crazy consumer. I try

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Speaker 3: to be very mindful and very conscious, but you're totally right,

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Speaker 3: like the way that it all plays into our broader

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Speaker 3: perception of ourselves, you know, and what that means. Stepping

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Speaker 3: away from that and saying no, I'm not going to

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Speaker 3: buy it at all is almost unfathomable to me. And

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Speaker 3: I don't feel great about that.

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Speaker 4: No, I'm glad that, you know, when you speak to

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Speaker 4: somebody that really relates to the things that I'm saying,

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Speaker 4: they're like, wow, yours. Get a couple of people that

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Speaker 4: are like, oh, I haven't bought clothed since nineteen seventy nine,

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Speaker 4: and I'm like grid very hard bright, Yeah, good for you,

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Speaker 4: and it's one of those things that you know, we

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Speaker 4: kind of a lot of people experience this kind of

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Speaker 4: borderline addictive cycle with buying clothes and things or buying

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Speaker 4: anything associated to your identity.

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Speaker 2: But we don't really talk about it.

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Speaker 4: And I'm so I'm always so stunned that we are

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Speaker 4: so willing nowadays to examine our behavior and examine ourself

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Speaker 4: sabotaging patterns in every single area apart from spending.

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Speaker 2: We're so secretive about it with spending, and.

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Speaker 4: We pretend that we've got it all together, or we

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Speaker 4: justify things and say, oh, you know, it's this or

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Speaker 4: it's that, and it's okay because X, Y and z.

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Speaker 4: But there's actually so much to be learned about yourself.

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Speaker 2: Through the way that you're spending.

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Speaker 4: And I think while a lot of women's spending, the

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Speaker 4: things that we buy are seen as frivolous, but also

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Speaker 4: examining your spending is also seen as a frivolous pursuit.

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Speaker 4: A lot of the time, I'll get sort of like,

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Speaker 4: it's not mockery, but it's sort.

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Speaker 3: Of momentary from people, yeah that oh.

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Speaker 4: You're you know, how dare you talk about what women

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Speaker 4: are buying when there's actually so much to be learned,

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Speaker 4: and there's a lot of them to be found when

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Speaker 4: you unparck why you're buying things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and also, don't punish us for being a product

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Speaker 3: of the net that you built for us, in the

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Speaker 3: box that you built for us. It really, I think

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Speaker 3: disproportionately impacts women because of you know, the generations and

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Speaker 3: generations of patriarchy, and women should look a certain way,

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Speaker 3: like you can't go into the office without looking put together,

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Speaker 3: your hair, you're done, your makeup, your outfit, like all

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Speaker 3: of these things that are put on us. But then

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Speaker 3: as soon as you care about it or want to

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Speaker 3: break it down or want to examine it, it's, oh, well,

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Speaker 3: don't be silly. They don't be frivolous. It's really interesting.

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Speaker 3: I think the way that that impacts everybody. It sounds

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Speaker 3: like you had to set yourself some ground rules to

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Speaker 3: get going. So you've decided to do this challenge, You've gone,

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Speaker 3: I want to step back, I want to figure it

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Speaker 3: all out. What rules did you put in place for yourself?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll just kind of add on a bit. You

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Speaker 2: know a lot of people go what made you decide

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Speaker 2: to actually do it?

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Speaker 4: And aside from the fact that it was getting towards

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Speaker 4: the end of the year and I had the opportunity

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Speaker 4: to do a really clean Jan to December. Yeah, I

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Speaker 4: was in the UK for the last month of twenty

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Speaker 4: twenty two, and i'd been back twice that year because

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Speaker 4: it was the first time since twenty nineteen. So I

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, the borders were open, let's go. And

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Speaker 4: I kind of realized that i'd been thinking about it.

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Speaker 4: But the thing that really was the nail in the

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Speaker 4: coffin was I was, you know, shopping around. I love

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Speaker 4: to shop in the UK because they've got a lot

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Speaker 4: more plus size options than we had here in Australia.

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Speaker 4: I was sort of seeing all these things and it

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Speaker 4: was a different season to when I was there the

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Speaker 4: last time, and I was thinking, oh, you know, having

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Speaker 4: all these you know, creative stories evolving in my head

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Speaker 4: of how great these things were going to look. And

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Speaker 4: I was suddenly struck by the fact that I had

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Speaker 4: those same thoughts about the things that I bought when

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Speaker 4: I was there the last time into but now those

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Speaker 4: things were not as special as I thought they were

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Speaker 4: going to be, or they were, as I would later learn,

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Speaker 4: like quite big purchase mistakes and That's when I kind

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Speaker 4: of thought, yeah, I think there's really going to be

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Speaker 4: something valuable here. So I embarked on it from January first,

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Speaker 4: twenty twenty three, and my rules were it was specifically clothing.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 4: And a lot of people go, why wasn't it you know,

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Speaker 4: why wasn't it a no buy about everything? And firstly,

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Speaker 4: I think that would be really hard and really restrictive,

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Speaker 4: but also a bit like I'd said, you know, I'd

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Speaker 4: worked on so many areas of my spending and I

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Speaker 4: wasn't over consuming in skin care or beauty or even

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Speaker 4: you know, I'd stopped using takeaway apps for a period

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Speaker 4: of time, and I found that really helped. I'm quite

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Speaker 4: good at a challenge environment to really step back and

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Speaker 4: examine why I'm doing things. I find that abstinence really

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Speaker 4: helps me do that. And so clothes were a really

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Speaker 4: specific part of it. It wasn't shoes, it wasn't bags,

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Speaker 4: it was specifically clothes. In fact, I probably under consumed

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Speaker 4: in accessories to the point that I wasn't, you know,

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Speaker 4: tying outfits together. It was all about, I think, because

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Speaker 4: it was so deeply related to my body image. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and my relationship with my body. It was the clothes

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Speaker 4: that with a thing. So I didn't specifically ban shoes,

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Speaker 4: although I later did bring in a shoe band just

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Speaker 4: because I found I was flirting a little bit with

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Speaker 4: you know, oh, I can't buy close to what look

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Speaker 4: at shoes and I was thinking, oh, you know, I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I think I bought a pair of Crocs during the year.

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Speaker 3: That was it.

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Speaker 2: And again is it really? They're not like an outfit.

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Speaker 4: So I wasn't too worried about that, but it was

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Speaker 4: very specifically no clothes. And I also banned second hand

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Speaker 4: shopping because a lot of people were like, oh, why

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Speaker 4: don't you just do you secondhand or you know, I'm

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Speaker 4: doing it too, but just secondhand. But the problem I

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Speaker 4: had with secondhand that was that it was just permission

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Speaker 4: to consume. It's like over consumption with a clean conscience

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Speaker 4: for me, and the thrill of the hunt and the

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Speaker 4: dopamine seeking and the you know that all of the

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Speaker 4: barriers that would usually stop you buying clothes, you know, price, availability, size,

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Speaker 4: you know, those sorts of things were all gone when

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Speaker 4: I was thrifting, because it was such a if you

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Speaker 4: found something that you liked that fit on, that was

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Speaker 4: a good price. It probably wasn't too expensive because the

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Speaker 4: stores are generally cheaper, or it's on deep Op or

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Speaker 4: Marketplace or vinted or wherever you're listening. But also there's

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Speaker 4: this intense scarcity, so like our brains produce scarcity to

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Speaker 4: help us justify purchases anyway, and we'll think, oh, he's

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Speaker 4: going to sell out or is this But in a

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Speaker 4: thrift store, you know it genuinely is going to be gone.

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Speaker 2: There's one of them.

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Speaker 4: You can't do you think about it for twenty four

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Speaker 4: hours or wait till next week, or buy it on

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Speaker 4: payday necessarily. So I thought, let's just cut all of that.

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Speaker 4: And I had a lot of feedback from people being like, oh,

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Speaker 4: why don't you allow yourself three items or this or that?

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Speaker 4: And I kind of thought, you know, I had so

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Speaker 4: many people, but what if this?

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Speaker 2: What if that?

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Speaker 4: And I just thought, I'm just going to deal with

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Speaker 4: all of it if it happens. If I get invited

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Speaker 4: to a cowgirl party, I will deal with them when

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Speaker 4: it happens. There's a high chance that I won't. I'm

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Speaker 4: not a particularly sociable person. I didn't have a jam

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Speaker 4: packed social calendar so on Saturday night not likely, and

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Speaker 4: you know your brain kind.

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Speaker 2: Of goes, oh, well, what if I get invited to

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Speaker 2: a black tie? Then I thought, I'll just cross that

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Speaker 2: bridge when I come to it.

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Speaker 4: If I have to borrow something, if I have to

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Speaker 4: buy one thing because I genuinely had nothing else, I

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Speaker 4: still think there's benefit. So I really just went in

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Speaker 4: all guns placing wow and said no clothes at all.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think there's so much merit in removing those barriers too,

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Speaker 3: and just say well, exactly dead, Like, if something comes up,

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Speaker 3: I can figure it out. I'm choosing to do this challenge.

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Speaker 3: It's the journey that I'm going on. And if that

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Speaker 3: had change over the course of the year, that's not

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Speaker 3: a bad thing. I think you still would have had

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Speaker 3: the opportunity to take a lot of learnings from it.

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Speaker 3: But exactly the dedication that setting yourself up for success,

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Speaker 3: I think is such an important part.

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Speaker 4: There's a big self trust piece as well. I think, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: a lot of people go, what if my weight changes

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Speaker 4: or what or what if that? I think, just trust

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Speaker 4: that you will know whether you are buying something because

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Speaker 4: you're cheating, or whether you're buying something because you genuinely

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Speaker 4: need to. Yeah, I think once you really commit fully

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Speaker 4: to the challenge, and that is a huge you know,

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Speaker 4: it's a big thing in behavior change. Committing to the

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Speaker 4: changes is the whole part of it. There's the change

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Speaker 4: that you do, but there's also the commitment that you make.

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Speaker 4: There's a lot to be said about just saying you

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Speaker 4: know what, I'm going to try it.

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Speaker 3: Getting on the horse is the hardest part, and if

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Speaker 3: you fall off, you can just get back on.

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Speaker 5: Yes.

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Speaker 3: How did those first few months feel Was there a

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Speaker 3: point where it got really hard? Did you feel like

340
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Speaker 3: there was a transition period where you were having these

341
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Speaker 3: impulses to do things that you were battling against.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 4: I found the first couple of months were hard in

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Speaker 4: that I could just see how long I had to go.

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Speaker 4: I was like, Oh, I've done it and I've said

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Speaker 4: it online, so I've got to do it.

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Speaker 3: Do it now.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, But at the same time, I was finding a

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Speaker 4: lot of joy in putting together outfits I hadn't worn before.

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Speaker 4: And that's why I do recommend people even try it,

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Speaker 4: even just for a month, because there's a lot to

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Speaker 4: be found in your wardrobe just by going, Wow, I've

353
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Speaker 4: really got to get creative here. So the first couple

354
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Speaker 4: of months were pretty easy. You know, in Australia it

355
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Speaker 4: was summer at that time, so you know, the things

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Speaker 4: you wear for the first couple of months of the year,

357
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Speaker 4: first two three months of the year about the same.

358
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Speaker 4: The time I found it hard was when we got

359
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Speaker 4: to sort of April May and the season started to change.

360
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Speaker 4: I had realized that I was looking outside of my

361
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Speaker 4: wardrobe then for I guess signals of what to wear.

362
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Speaker 4: You know, when you get really out of the habit

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Speaker 4: of wearing a certain season of clothes.

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Speaker 3: You're looking for inspo. What are the people wearing?

365
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you hit that point where you're like, what

366
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Speaker 2: are shoes that aren't sandals? Yeah? You know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: You're like, what do I wear?

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Speaker 3: How do I cover my arms?

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Speaker 2: I have no sleeves.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're just not in the cycle of it. That's

371
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Speaker 4: when I found the temptation that the strongest, because I

372
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Speaker 4: started to realize that, I think a change of season,

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Speaker 4: there's this shortcut available to you in shops when you

374
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Speaker 4: feel like you've got nothing to wear, there's this shortcut

375
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Speaker 4: and you go, oh, just get a couple of basics,

376
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Speaker 4: should get a couple of cardigans, a lople of jumpers.

377
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Speaker 4: I'll just get a couple of pairs of jeans or

378
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Speaker 4: whatever it is, and it sort of patches up that

379
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 4: resistance that we feel to not feeling connected to our wardrobes.

380
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Speaker 4: For that season, that was when I started to find

381
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Speaker 4: it the hardest. And then there was sort of a

382
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:36,440
Speaker 4: period after that where I'd really pushed my wardrobe to

383
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 4: the limit. I'd really you know, you run out of

384
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,560
Speaker 4: combinations eventually, of course, and then I had to really

385
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:46,520
Speaker 4: start rewaring. And while I got a lot of enjoyment

386
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 4: out of that and satisfaction in a way, but also

387
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,360
Speaker 4: just neutrality. I kind of accepted that I just didn't

388
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Speaker 4: have to feel good about what I was wearing all

389
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Speaker 4: the time, and that having a few things that I

390
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,520
Speaker 4: did like, I could just keep reaching for those. I

391
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 4: have found this new type of joy in really loving

392
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 4: something and wearing it again. I just it sounds so ridiculous,

393
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,160
Speaker 4: but I just hadn't experienced that, you know, that dopamine rush,

394
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,920
Speaker 4: that enjoyment. Yeah, outside of something new, I relied on

395
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,920
Speaker 4: novelty a lot in my wardrobe.

396
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,119
Speaker 3: And it's such a it's again like such a societal

397
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,960
Speaker 3: thing it's the don't you do. You don't want someone

398
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,600
Speaker 3: to see that you in an outfit that you've worn before.

399
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,000
Speaker 3: You need to find a different way to wear it.

400
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,480
Speaker 3: But there is something really lovely about knowing like, these

401
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,760
Speaker 3: are my favorite genes and I wear these genes twice

402
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 3: a week every week, and I should feel good about that.

403
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,560
Speaker 3: I should feel good about my cost per use, being like,

404
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,240
Speaker 3: I should feel good about the fact that I made

405
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,919
Speaker 3: a good purchase decision for something that I will get

406
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,600
Speaker 3: a lot of wear out of. But it's very interesting

407
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,200
Speaker 3: that you're yeah, you're saying that typically wouldn't give the

408
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 3: dope mean here.

409
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Speaker 2: You're so right.

410
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 3: We're always looking for that new thing, but that dove

411
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:52,160
Speaker 3: mean from the new item disappears so quickly, and that's

412
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,239
Speaker 3: where we get stuck buying again and again because we're

413
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 3: chasing it.

414
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,080
Speaker 4: And I, you know, I sort of explore a bit

415
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,920
Speaker 4: in the book about this idea of having nothing to wear,

416
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,680
Speaker 4: and when we look at the connection between beliefs and behavior,

417
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,680
Speaker 4: if we allow ourselves to believe that we have nothing

418
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 4: to wear because we are buying the wrong things, because

419
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 4: we haven't organized our wardrobe properly, because it's a change

420
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 4: of season and we feel like we have nothing to wear.

421
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,240
Speaker 4: A very logical response to that is to buy more stuff. Yeah,

422
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 4: but I think it's something really interesting happens when you

423
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 4: realize that the solution that makes logical sense is obviously

424
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 4: not working, because if you keep buying more but you

425
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 4: still don't have anything to wear, there's a missing piece somewhere.

426
00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:34,840
Speaker 4: For me, it was that, you know, buying to be

427
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,400
Speaker 4: somebody I wish that I was buying to hide my flaws,

428
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 4: buying for the novelty, buying for the dopamine hit. And

429
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,639
Speaker 4: I think when I started to realize that there was

430
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 4: so much joy to be had in actually seeing how

431
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,680
Speaker 4: I looked in my clothes and wearing clothes because I

432
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,159
Speaker 4: liked how they looked on me, rather than because I

433
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 4: liked the idea of them. Yes, especially being a bigger

434
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,920
Speaker 4: woman and I have some size privilege, I do fit

435
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 4: into some mainstream stores. But even then, when I look

436
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 4: at pieces of clothing online, nineteen times out of one hundred,

437
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 4: they're on a slimmer model, which only fed this idea

438
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,480
Speaker 4: of what it was supposed to look like. So I'd

439
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 4: be all hopped up when I'd buy something thinking I

440
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,560
Speaker 4: was going to look like that, and then I wouldn't

441
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,159
Speaker 4: look like that, And sort of that, combined with everything

442
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,399
Speaker 4: else that was going on with that sort of spending pattern,

443
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,120
Speaker 4: that just fueled this cycle of try again, try again,

444
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,159
Speaker 4: try again, and every time I had my hopes up

445
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,879
Speaker 4: that I was going to look like this image in

446
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,159
Speaker 4: my head that I kind of came to refer to

447
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 4: as the fantasy self.

448
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:35,400
Speaker 2: Which I'm sure we'll talk about later.

449
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, breaking that down. And it's interesting. The cutting

450
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:43,920
Speaker 4: off the consumption played a really interesting role in intercepting

451
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,919
Speaker 4: that behavior. A lot of people go, well, what if

452
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 4: I stop buying? But what do I do about all

453
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 4: the other emotional stuff when you stop feeding it?

454
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 2: When buying.

455
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 4: A lot of it neutralizes quite naturally on its own.

456
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,639
Speaker 4: Overtime doesn't happen overnight. We want it to happen overnight.

457
00:19:58,880 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 3: Despite the yeal on challenge.

458
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,640
Speaker 2: Why it's a year, It really needed to be a year.

459
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's And the crazy thing is those models also

460
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,880
Speaker 3: that we're all looking at don't look how No, most

461
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,800
Speaker 3: because if you've ever been to a you know, an

462
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,120
Speaker 3: e Comma shoot, they're pinned in with these giant clips

463
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 3: or they're photoshopping things they're wearing, shoes that are two

464
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 3: sizes to be. It's all again, it's all in the

465
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 3: power of marketing. But I want to ask you a

466
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,880
Speaker 3: bit more about this fantasy self exactly as you just said.

467
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 3: Can you tell me a little bit more about her,

468
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 3: what she was for you and that role that she

469
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,840
Speaker 3: does play in your spending.

470
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 2: The fantasyself was something I started to tease out. Again.

471
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,280
Speaker 4: This is why said it had to be a year,

472
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 4: because this is where I started to see these patterns

473
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 4: in what I was buying. I have a whole sort

474
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 4: of section in the book where I've got all these

475
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 4: categories of things that are hanging in our wardrobes and

476
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 4: the stories that they're telling. And a big one for

477
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 4: me was these fantasy items that were things I would

478
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 4: buy again and again and again to try and emulate

479
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 4: this look that I had in my head. And it's

480
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 4: often the opposite of who we are, or it has

481
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 4: certain aspects of ourselves that we wish that we could change.

482
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's a height thing, sometimes its size thing, you know.

483
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 4: For me, my fantasy self was always this sort of

484
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 4: complete antithesis to me, like tall, lanky, slim bean pole

485
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 4: when I'm literally.

486
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 2: Lik really crazy that one hundred percent, but I wasn't.

487
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 4: It's like I only saw clothes through the lens of

488
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,639
Speaker 4: her and never me, And I think that's why the

489
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 4: year was so powerful, because something else that I did

490
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 4: was when I wore outfits that I liked, I took

491
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 4: a photo of them and added them to an album

492
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,360
Speaker 4: on my phone so I could refer back to them,

493
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 4: and doing that made me see my clothes through the

494
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 4: lens of myself for the first time. I don't think

495
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 4: that we realized how little were actually looking at ourselves previously.

496
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 4: When I'd look in the mirror or I'd assess how

497
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,680
Speaker 4: I felt about an outfit, it was benchmarked against that

498
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 4: fantasy subconsciously. Of course, we're not thinking these things in

499
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 4: real time. But that was why I didn't feel good

500
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 4: about the way that I looked, because I felt like

501
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 4: I looked wrong and I had to try and change it,

502
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 4: and the easiest short cut for that was to buy something,

503
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 4: and so looking like sort of seeing myself in a

504
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 4: different way.

505
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 2: I think the year.

506
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 4: Didn't allow me to really engage with the fantasy self

507
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 4: because I couldn't. I engaged with her through buying, and

508
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 4: I bought for her, but I didn't get to do

509
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,640
Speaker 4: that through the whole year, and so what was left

510
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 4: was me, and I realized by the end of the year,

511
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 4: I was like, wow, my body image is so much

512
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 4: better than it used to be, just really gradually, and

513
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,880
Speaker 4: I thought, there can't be a coincidence, because I haven't

514
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 4: been putting my body on trial through you know, women's

515
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 4: sizing is. Oh, so I haven't been putting my body

516
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 4: on trial for what fits. I haven't been putting my

517
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 4: body on trial against this fantasy of what I wish

518
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 4: I looked like or what I thought I wish I

519
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 4: looked like. I haven't been comparing myself to the picture online.

520
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 4: I haven't been getting my hopes up and then putting

521
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 4: it on and being disappointed. All of that stripped away

522
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 4: gave me this room to actually see myself, and that's

523
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 4: when I could start seeing clothes in a way that

524
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 4: was I feel good in this, rather than oh, this

525
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 4: isn't that quite how I wanted or you know, anybody

526
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,399
Speaker 4: with thick thighs will know that trying to embrace the

527
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 4: straight leg jean trend, all jeans are skinnies, yeah.

528
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 3: Wide, baggy, baggy or skinny.

529
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 4: There's no in between mum jeans don't know barrel leg.

530
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 4: I don't mind because barrel leg look like mom jeans giving.

531
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 3: But I know what you mean.

532
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 4: I was trying, you know, my thing always and I

533
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 4: don't even think there's this term anymore. It'll probably come

534
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 4: back around again with the styles. But there was always

535
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 4: this style of cigarette trousers, sort of pencils tapered. That's

536
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 4: what I always wanted, but.

537
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 2: Just didn't it work for me. And now you know,

538
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: I would resist.

539
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 4: The wide leg for some reason because I don't know

540
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 4: that was playing into what my body really is. And

541
00:23:53,840 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 4: I was almost addicted to trying to be different. But

542
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 4: the year kind of took all of that pressure away

543
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 4: and I actually found at first piece with who I was,

544
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 4: but down the line a lot of joy. And now

545
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 4: when I get dressed, you know, I wear the same

546
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 4: things over and over again, and I'm more. This was

547
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 4: kind of a realization that I had towards the end

548
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 4: of the year, or more sort of even in the

549
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 4: year after, where I was able to buy again. I

550
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 4: like my clothes that I have more than the things

551
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 4: I see in stores. When I think about going to

552
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 4: an event that used to be like great perfect excuse

553
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 4: to go and buy something new, Whereas now I'm like,

554
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 4: I can't wait to wear that dress because I don't

555
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 4: get to wear it often because it is more formal.

556
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 4: I can't wait to wear that. I know exactly what

557
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 4: I'm wearing. Even for this today, I know exactly what

558
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 4: I'm wearing.

559
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 3: Incredible.

560
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: It never used to be like that.

561
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,479
Speaker 4: And when you don't feel like that, that's where all

562
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 4: of those marketing messages hit you, and they were it

563
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 4: works so well. You've only got to walk around Chadstone

564
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 4: or any shopping center.

565
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:51,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

566
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 2: I looked at this the other day. I was walking

567
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,439
Speaker 2: around and I thought, eighty percent of these stores, if

568
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 2: not more, are for women.

569
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 3: There is We're huge consumers where it's such a huge

570
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 3: segment of the market. It's an industry that's been built

571
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,680
Speaker 3: though on making us feel like shit about ourselves, and

572
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: that's why it's so profitable. I think for them, was

573
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 3: it confronting to slowly make that realization about all of

574
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 3: these I guess suppressed subconscious feelings about yourself, because as

575
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 3: you were talking about, I was deeply, honestly relating to

576
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 3: the fact that if I think on it really introspectively,

577
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: the relationship that I have to my clothes and my

578
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 3: wardrobe and shopping. I think is very similar to what

579
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 3: all I'm hearing is that I need to do this challenge. Yeah,

580
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 3: but I think there are a lot of things in

581
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 3: terms of my self perception and self worth that maybe

582
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 3: I don't feel so great about that really feed into that,

583
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 3: and I don't like that's quite uncomfortable to think about.

584
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 3: Was it hard to make those considerations and move through

585
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 3: them or have those realizations?

586
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 4: I suppose yeah, it was in a way, especially when

587
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 4: you kind of consider the environmental impact of consumption, and

588
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 4: you know, I think kind of icky when I go,

589
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 4: this wasn't a sustainability challenge, and it kind of was

590
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 4: in a collateral way. But I did it from a

591
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 4: finance and a behavior perspective. I found that the sustainability was,

592
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 4: you know, an added benefit. But I think that there

593
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,199
Speaker 4: really is something to be said about the behavioral aspect

594
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,120
Speaker 4: of sustainability, So I guess that's just on that. But yeah,

595
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 4: it was confronting to realize I think how long I'd

596
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 4: been subconsciously stuck in that cycle and how something that

597
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 4: I thought I enjoyed, you know, I'd make these excuses sometimes, Oh,

598
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 4: I just.

599
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 2: Like clothes, I love fashion, I love fashionion girl.

600
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, when really I just you know, I say this

601
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 4: in the book. I thought that I liked fashion, but

602
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 4: I actually just liked buying. And I think you hit

603
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 4: home that's when you're getting the most joy from your

604
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 4: clothes when you're buying. You don't love fashion and you

605
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 4: just love buying. There's you know, you can absolutely love both,

606
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 4: and you can shift that love of buying into into style.

607
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 4: But yeah, it was It was confronting, but it was

608
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 4: also almost a relief in a way because I had

609
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 4: finally understood the link between those things and why I

610
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 4: was doing these things. And I think, you know, it

611
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 4: helped in a way that I got the benefit in

612
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 4: real time. I sort of had the realization that I

613
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 4: had this problematic cycle, but at the same time as

614
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 4: experiencing the other side of it, so.

615
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,399
Speaker 3: You could really prove through. Yeah, that's incredible. There are

616
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 3: so many great lines, great catchphrases that you have that

617
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 3: really sit and resonate. One that I particularly loved was

618
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 3: the concept of outsourcing your identity to consumption, which we've

619
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 3: kind of just touched on, but I think there's so

620
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 3: much power in that state, like you're really calling it

621
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 3: for what it is.

622
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 4: Whenever I say that line, a lot of women relate.

623
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 4: And I think that it's, as you say, confronting in

624
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 4: a way to realize that we've kind of often pieced

625
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 4: together the version of ourselves that we try to be

626
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 4: through buying. And I talk in the book a bit

627
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 4: about the term put together. A lot of women say

628
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 4: they want to look put together. And while I, you know,

629
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 4: I on the surface, that makes complete sense, and I

630
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 4: think the term put together that there's merit to it,

631
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 4: especially in a professional environment or when you're putting together

632
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 4: your favorite pieces. But there's almost like a slightly sinister

633
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 4: undertone to that term.

634
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 1: Of put together.

635
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 4: And I kind of marrit it up with the term

636
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 4: polished that a lot of other women relate to that.

637
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 4: You know, we are sort of piecing ourselves together with

638
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 4: things that are sold to us, and I kind of

639
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 4: sometimes question if we weren't putting ourselves together with all

640
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 4: of these elements that are constantly sold, where would the

641
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 4: billions of dollars go.

642
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's so much power I think for the

643
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: big corps, the big companies that not to put my

644
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 3: tinfoil hat on. But you know, there's a lot out there.

645
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 3: I think for these huge corporations in keeping women feeling

646
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 3: bad about themselves. Keeping is consuming, Keeping is not looking,

647
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 3: you know, at what is causing those things moving past

648
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 3: that because that's what puts money in their pockets.

649
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, at the end of the day, and I think

650
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 4: as well, keeping us. You know, a lot of people

651
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 4: are kind of go oh. Companies aren't sitting there thinking

652
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 4: about how they can make for bad about ourselves. But

653
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 4: I think as long as the goalposts are moving, that's

654
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 4: all that matters. Yeah, as long as we are in

655
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 4: that position of feeling the way we do about ourselves

656
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 4: by consuming or consuming being a part of that, playing

657
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 4: a role in that, that's all you need because there's

658
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 4: always something more to be sold. There's a piece that

659
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 4: comes from, which is what the challenge is really saying

660
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 4: I have enough and the link between having enough and

661
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 4: being enough. When you say that you have enough, you're

662
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 4: sort of subconsciously saying, well, I am enough as well.

663
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 4: I don't need to buy new things, to go to

664
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 4: that work event, to have my birthday to be seen

665
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 4: in any way, I am enough with the things I

666
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 4: already have. And there's an interesting link there is.

667
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 3: That one of the biggest things you'd say the experiment

668
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 3: taught you about, like the impulse control and emotional side.

669
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: Of it all.

670
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think there's you know, there's that deep emotional side,

671
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 4: and then there's also sort of the whipped cream on top.

672
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 4: Is that just you know, that quick dopamine hit, but

673
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 4: buying something online or getting a little treat or whatever,

674
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 4: you know, that's sometimes very you know, flash in a

675
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 4: pan that's very real. It doesn't necessarily mean there's a

676
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 4: ton of emotional stuff going on that can still be

677
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: quite real. I think there's two parts of it to

678
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 4: unpack the deepest stuff, the deep cycles of what you're

679
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 4: buying and why you're buying. And then there's really watching

680
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 4: that sort of cycle of little treat, cycle of dopamine,

681
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 4: but again stepping back and creating more distance between the

682
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 4: last hit and the next hit that can break the

683
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 4: cycle as well. And it's something I did during the

684
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 4: year was what I called exposure therapy, and I'd go

685
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 4: into the shop, sort brows online and allow myself.

686
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 2: To meet that desire.

687
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 4: And yeah, there's a lot of mental peace that comes

688
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 4: from just saying I'm not even going to entertain buying this.

689
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 4: That was probably one of the most surprising things actually,

690
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 4: you know, in a impulse control sense, there's also that,

691
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 4: you know that meatia emotional stuff, but realizing how free

692
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 4: it was to just not be buying.

693
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I could see someone's.

694
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 4: Jacket, it didn't matter. It didn't have to go on

695
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 4: Google lens and stop putting it through. I didn't have

696
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 4: to google where's that from? Oh that looks like that.

697
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 2: Oh it's out of stock. Oh they've got it. What's

698
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 2: it called? High point? Can I be bothered to go

699
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: all the way over that? These loops I would jump

700
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 2: through all the time. Oh I want it for Saturday?

701
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: Will it get delivered in time?

702
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:24,239
Speaker 3: It's never ending, the thoughts. The noise of it all

703
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 3: is the noise, and I have more questions about that.

704
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 3: But I think we should jump to a really quick break,

705
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 3: and when we come back, I want to dive a

706
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 3: little bit more deeply into all those concepts that don't

707
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 3: go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. I'm chatting with Emma Edwards,

708
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 3: who has just released her book The Wardrobe Project, all

709
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 3: about her year of buying no clothing.

710
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 2: Now.

711
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 3: I have been wondering a little bit when you took

712
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 3: buying out of the equation, did you notice other areas

713
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 3: of your life, like time or creativity or happiness also

714
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 3: started to shift.

715
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 2: Yes, I found you know, I had that mental peace

716
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 2: that I talked about before.

717
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 4: That just sort of, I don't know, it just felt

718
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 4: a lot lighter in general. But obviously I was, you know,

719
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 4: hyper focused on the challenge. I was talking about it online.

720
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 4: You know, that was obviously quite palpable. I think the

721
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 4: other sort of area is I found a new sense

722
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 4: of creativity, not just in my wardrobe, but I also

723
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 4: I took up sewing again. I used to sew with

724
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 4: my gran when I was younger, because I would go

725
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 4: to her house when I was on school holidays or whatever.

726
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 4: And she died when I was fifteen, so I didn't

727
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 4: sort of pick it up again, but I'd always wanted to.

728
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 4: And you know, again, I could have done that at

729
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 4: any point. But I just don't think it's a coincidence

730
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 4: that I found the time the focus. You know, I'm

731
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:47,959
Speaker 4: very big on making a list of things I'm going

732
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 4: to do and.

733
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: Not doing that.

734
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 4: I don't think it's a coincidence that I was able

735
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 4: to engage with that during the year because I think

736
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 4: it took I think the challenge took a lot of

737
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 4: urgency out of the way I was relating to clothes

738
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 4: or even projects. And I think previously I was kind

739
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 4: of going, oh, I must start sewing again, but it's

740
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 4: going to take so long to make one top, or like,

741
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 4: I can't you know that thing about not wanting to

742
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 4: be bad at something.

743
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,959
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, I won't be able to wear it out

744
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 3: because it's not going to look like when I got

745
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 3: at the store.

746
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 4: Yes, Whereas I think the sense of slowness gave me

747
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 4: a sense of patience to learn. Take that up in

748
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 4: a way that you know, it directly fed into what

749
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 4: I was trying to do as well. I did have

750
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 4: a rule within the challenge that I could buy fabric again.

751
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 4: I had to do so mindfully. A lot of people go, oh,

752
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 4: I took up sewing and I couldn't stop my fabric.

753
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 4: You do have to be careful of that fabric's expensive.

754
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 2: But yeah, there was. It was a very creative year.

755
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 3: I think because you've removed some of the noise that feels,

756
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 3: I feel like it takes up again subconsciously, so much

757
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 3: room in your brain. All those things exactly you were

758
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 3: saying the hoops of where I want this, but where

759
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 3: can I get an Oh, down a stock maybe I'll

760
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 3: drive to the inside the city, or being borrowed from

761
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 3: someone I.

762
00:33:58,200 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: Can lend it online.

763
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 3: There's a lot of a lot of volume in your head,

764
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 3: I imagine once you finally figure out how to switch

765
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 3: that off.

766
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 4: Yeah it is, and I'm yeah, now I'm thinking now

767
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 4: you've asked me that, I'm thinking, oh, what did I

768
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 4: do with that sort of mental peace?

769
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 3: But you know, I noticed you could have just enjoyed it,

770
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 3: that's okay.

771
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 4: And I'd noticed it a lot, you know, if there

772
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 4: would be an event or someone's birthday or wedding and

773
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 4: I just you know, people going to watch I wear

774
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 4: on popping over to chance and to look for this,

775
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 4: and I was just kind of like, I'm done.

776
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: I know what I'm wearing, and like, oh course you

777
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 2: know what you're wearing. But sounds lovely. Yeah, it was great. God,

778
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 2: was there a moment.

779
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 3: Or something you realized during that year that completely rewired

780
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 3: your mindset where you thought, oh my gosh, now that

781
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,720
Speaker 3: I've seen this, I can't see it, like that switch

782
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 3: just flipped.

783
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 4: I think it was seeing those patterns in my wardrobe.

784
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 4: And I think, you know, coming back to something you

785
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 4: asked earlier, was there a point where it about hard.

786
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 4: There was a point, probably seven or eight months in

787
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 4: where the penny had dropped on how I was buying

788
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:05,479
Speaker 4: the wrong things, so chasing that fantasy self buying things.

789
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 4: You know, another thing I would do would be buy

790
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 4: If I liked something in black, I'd go and buy

791
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,879
Speaker 4: it in every color. I used to do this too, yes,

792
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 4: Or I'd go and buy a very similar version to

793
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 4: something else because I couldn't find the one I wanted.

794
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 4: Where's my stripeytop, I'll just buy another one, oh my god?

795
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 4: Or you know, little things like I wanted. You know,

796
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,760
Speaker 4: at one point I wanted a pair of like white

797
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 4: off white jeans, and I couldn't find any that I

798
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 4: liked that fitted, partly because I was chasing that tape

799
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 4: of look. But that's neither here nor there. But I

800
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 4: found a pair in Suzanne of all places, very generous

801
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 4: on the sizing, and they fit. They weren't quite what

802
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 4: I wanted, but I wanted to wear white jeans so

803
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 4: badly that I bought them.

804
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 1: Heard them.

805
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 4: So I think when the penny dropped on that, I

806
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 4: was kind of eager to get out and I kind

807
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 4: of thought, oh, I know now why I hate my

808
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 4: clothes all the time, because I'm buying for all the

809
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 4: wrong reasons, buying all the wrong stuff. And so I

810
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 4: had these things that I did like, but that was

811
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 4: quite a limited wardrobe. Everything else I could see the

812
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 4: issues with, and I wore them anyway, and you know,

813
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 4: I really pushed those to the limits. But I started

814
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 4: to compile this sort of list of yeses and noes,

815
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 4: so like really specific things about clothes, like the length

816
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 4: that I like, the type of sleeve, the type of fabric,

817
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 4: the type of fabric weight, Like I really knew what

818
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,000
Speaker 4: good purchases were going to be for me now. Yeah,

819
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 4: And at that point I kind of wanted to rush

820
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 4: out and go, oh, let me test this out and

821
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 4: you know, buy the right things. So that kind of

822
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 4: got quite difficult. But that penny dropping of where the

823
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 4: patterns of buying had been really wrong, that kind of

824
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: really changed the course of the challenge because I could

825
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 4: see then a time after the challenge which I had

826
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 4: to start entertaining towards the end of the year, because

827
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 4: I kind of thought, God, what now, like what am

828
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 4: I going to be like, am I going to repeat?

829
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 4: Am I going to go back to the way I was?

830
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 4: Am I going to repeat all the same patterns? And

831
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 4: I think realizing that those things which sound practical but

832
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 4: actually when you marry it up with that emotional stuff,

833
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 4: make a lot of sense. Yeah, that's when I started

834
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 4: to kind of think, Ah, I've really made a breakthrough here,

835
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 4: because I have so many reasons now not to go

836
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,879
Speaker 4: back to the way that I was, because there's an alternative. Yeah,

837
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 4: and I now think that I know how to buy

838
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 4: things mindfully that I do want to keep wearing. And

839
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 4: that's really how that was the turning point that got

840
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 4: me to where I am now.

841
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, were you nervous at any point about coming to

842
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 3: the end of your yark? Because I think for a

843
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 3: lot of people, when you do any kind of restrictive challenge,

844
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 3: whether it be clothing or finance, or even for people

845
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 3: who do fitness challenges and things, there's this, I guess,

846
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 3: very common storyline where you do it, you push really hard,

847
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 3: you get through it, and you get to the end

848
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 3: and you blow out. You know, you have your huge Yeah,

849
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 3: exactly right. Were you ever concerned that that would be

850
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 3: the case, or were you so steadfast in what you

851
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 3: learned that you just knew that it was going to

852
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 3: change your approach completely.

853
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 4: I was concerned because you can't, you know, you can't

854
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 4: take the fish out of water, Like we're still live

855
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 4: in a world where there is more and more and more.

856
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 4: We are still seeing everybody's lives on social media. There

857
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 4: is still somebody's latest affiliate link that I can click,

858
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 4: and there's still those external inputs.

859
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: So I knew that, you know.

860
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 4: I actually say in the book that the challenge really

861
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 4: began the year after because then I had to consume

862
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,959
Speaker 4: mindfully and you know, there were certain things I wanted

863
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 4: to replace in my wardrobe, but I had to be

864
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 4: careful not to go crazy or be over I was

865
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 4: a bit overconfident at one point as well.

866
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 2: I think, or I can't.

867
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 4: Possibly make a bad decision, whereas you know, a couple

868
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 4: of misses throughout that year when I did buy a

869
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 4: few things.

870
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 3: What were those things? Can you tell me, like, was

871
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 3: is there something that comes to mind that you bought

872
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 3: that You're like, ah, that was a bad and you

873
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 3: know now you can you know why?

874
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it's a hard one because it was

875
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 4: partly as well. The fabric wasn't it was a bit

876
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 4: of a letdown. There was some practical.

877
00:38:58,880 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 2: Aspects to it.

878
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 4: Just missed the mark, just miss the mark. Like it

879
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,280
Speaker 4: was a It was a suit, sort of a linen

880
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 4: blend suit. Yes, that I got on a really good

881
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 4: price and I fit really nicely and I was really

882
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 4: happy with it. Got it in the UK actually, and

883
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 4: something about when I hung it out the sun changed

884
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 4: the color of the white. Yeah, because I washed the

885
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,800
Speaker 4: trousers a lot more than the jacket. Yeah, and the

886
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 4: color change. So there was that aspect, but there was another.

887
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 4: I just sort of I look at it and I'm like,

888
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 4: I could have lived about that better. Yeah, Like I

889
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 4: wear it because this is the other kind of thing

890
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,800
Speaker 4: I learned to you know, things don't have to be

891
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 4: absolutely perfect. Wearing things can change your opinion of them.

892
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 4: I pulled a lot of things out of my donate pile.

893
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 4: Oh I love that, And I said this, you know,

894
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 4: I run this accountability challenge as well with other women

895
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 4: in the group, and a lot of people have their

896
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:50,240
Speaker 4: own kind of experience with these concepts. But something universally true,

897
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 4: aside from when you've had a drastic change in size.

898
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 4: Usually there's some treasure in your donate pile because we

899
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,760
Speaker 4: get rid of things very very quickly because the novelties

900
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,439
Speaker 4: worn off because we want an excuse to buy something else.

901
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 4: But yeah, I kind of got a lot. Sorry, I

902
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 4: can't remember what you actually originally asked.

903
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 3: Me coming to NY and I'm love it you every

904
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 3: minute of it.

905
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: Now.

906
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 3: I said it was like, was there a specific item,

907
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 3: which I think you did answer like, yeah, the suit.

908
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 3: You're bound to fall off though, too, I think as well,

909
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 3: like when you're changing the way that you fundamentally consume,

910
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 3: like there's going to be some learning curves. I think

911
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 3: it's so impressive that you can say, after coming out

912
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 3: of that whole year, you know, there are a couple

913
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 3: of swings and missus, but overall, like you're really happy

914
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 3: and you know what you need and what you look

915
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: for well enough to shop really effectively.

916
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 4: Now, yes, the way I consume is and that's kind

917
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 4: of how I forgave myself for not being on, you know,

918
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 4: on the mark every single time.

919
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 2: And you know the way the money if you are

920
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:48,720
Speaker 2: fundamentally different.

921
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, But I think the other challenge I had, which

922
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,879
Speaker 4: is actually how I ended up doing the challenge again

923
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 4: this year with slightly modified rules, is that again you

924
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 4: can't take the fish out of water, like there is

925
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 4: still so much more, more and more. When I learned

926
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 4: to buy better, I had to. I did a mini

927
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 4: freeze during the year, just three months where I didn't

928
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 4: buy anything else because one, I was craving that piece

929
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 4: because there were so many things, but also two, you

930
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 4: still only need a certain amount of clothes. So I

931
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 4: had learned to buy well and buy things that I

932
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 4: would really want to wear. The ability to over consume

933
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,919
Speaker 4: is still so easy that I almost was getting even

934
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 4: though it was more useful things I was buying. I

935
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 4: was almost kind of had to be careful not to

936
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 4: over consume good things because I'd had this pattern of

937
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 4: over consuming all the wrong things and that's what kept

938
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 4: me reconsuming.

939
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, Whereas then I had this, as I said before,

940
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 2: almost over confidence, where I.

941
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 4: Was like, I buy so well and you know, I

942
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 4: am good with money as they say, so I wasn't

943
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 4: spending money I didn't have, you know, I had this

944
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 4: almost where do I actually stop then? So then I

945
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 4: had to sort of I did the challenge again this

946
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 4: year where I was like, I'm not bringing anything new

947
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 4: into my wardrobe, partly for some sustainability reasons which I'll

948
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 4: come on to, but also to I guess experience those

949
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 4: learnings again with a wardrobe I loved, and that was

950
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 4: completely different because I wasn't learning all the things I'd

951
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 4: done wrong. I was actually just learning to be with

952
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 4: what I had. And now as we come to the

953
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 4: end of this year, I don't need to go and

954
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 4: replace things in the way I did before, so now

955
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 4: it's much more of a lasting change that has happened.

956
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 4: I later towards the second half of this year, I

957
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 4: allowed a limited amount of thrifting because I wanted to

958
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 4: get back into thrifting, but I still had that, Oh,

959
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 4: it's really hard to say no to something that's really good.

960
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 4: How do I limit this? So I really wanted to

961
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:47,000
Speaker 4: try that within the context of thrifting being the only option,

962
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 4: and that's been really fun. I've been customizing some things.

963
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 4: I've been buying a couple of things and dying them.

964
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 4: I bought this and I died it into my signature RUSS.

965
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 4: Yet it was great, fantastic.

966
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 3: I would never have known that that was not its

967
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 3: original color.

968
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 4: No, so well it looks and it has much in

969
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 4: trousers as well. But that's you know, that creativity has

970
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 4: really come back again. And I don't think that that's

971
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 4: a surprise that it's in the year where I've stepped

972
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 4: back and I think, just yeah, something can seem really restrictive,

973
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 4: but actually there's so much to be found and experienced.

974
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 3: Absolutely. How's your style changed through all of this, Like,

975
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,719
Speaker 3: what's the criteria now that you use to assess you're

976
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 3: talking about sustainability in that element a little bit? What

977
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 3: kind of things are you looking at when you are

978
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 3: considering bringing something into your wardrobe?

979
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm really looking at you know, I'm very much

980
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 4: of the belief that the most sustainable outfit you can

981
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 4: wear is one you already have. And so there's that,

982
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 4: you know, you don't need to be, you know, jumping

983
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,280
Speaker 4: through hoops and looking for all these amazing sustainable brands

984
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 4: if you're not buying anything at all.

985
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 2: Look, I have some.

986
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 4: Work to do on perhaps where I'm shopping. You know,

987
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 4: I'm you know, I'm not shopping Sheen and Timu and

988
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 4: things like that. But you know, your shops, your major retailers, it's.

989
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 2: A ray area.

990
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, like your Kmart, Yeah, came Out's country Road WI.

991
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 4: You know that it's not exactly sustainable, so I would

992
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 4: again it can be harder in plus size they're a

993
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 4: lot less and truly ethically made plus size stores. But

994
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 4: again I use that as an excuse for a long time,

995
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 4: can't shop ethically. I'm that shouldn't have to, but it is.

996
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 3: It's hard. It's like you're limited already.

997
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 4: And then you know, but I've really, you know, I'm

998
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 4: focusing very much on things I will wear, you know,

999
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 4: on my criteria list. I've I've worked out what makes

1000
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 4: me love my body the most, So things that work

1001
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,879
Speaker 4: really well on my curves, things that run longer because

1002
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 4: I have a funny body composition that my torso is

1003
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 4: really long. I'm tall in general, but a lot of

1004
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 4: my height comes from my torso.

1005
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:41,319
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1006
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 4: So where for so long I was chasing that like long, leggy,

1007
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 4: athletic look that was just so not what I am.

1008
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 4: Now I really kind of embrace my my curves but

1009
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 4: also the space I take up.

1010
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 2: I talk in the book a bit.

1011
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,640
Speaker 4: A bit how I moved away from wanting to be

1012
00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:00,879
Speaker 4: that sort of beige, minimalist, clean you know, old money

1013
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 4: almost look too much more bold and like you know,

1014
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 4: orange is my signature color.

1015
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 3: And I'm colorful to me.

1016
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 2: I don't think give you I do.

1017
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 3: I think a vibrant yes, And.

1018
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 4: Like I'm not a quiet person and I am silly

1019
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 4: and I do joke around, and I'm not neat and

1020
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 4: polished and you know, put together per se in that

1021
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,320
Speaker 4: traditional sense. So I really started to lean into that

1022
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 4: a bit more, and I started sort of using these

1023
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 4: style anchor words. So I started There's a drink that

1024
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 4: I have when I'm in the UK that's like an

1025
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 4: espresso with whipped cream, like all espresso conpana, And I

1026
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 4: was like, that's kind of my style. Like there's the

1027
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 4: basics and the simples and the you know, the nice clean,

1028
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 4: you know, suiting or denim or whatever, but then there's

1029
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 4: these like punchy.

1030
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 2: Elements as well.

1031
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, like no one can see today, but I'm wearing

1032
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 4: my like my big velvet orange shoes, which people have come.

1033
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 5: To known me for.

1034
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 3: Shoes I've ever seen the fantastic, but.

1035
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 4: Like they're kind of me in a shoe. Like they're

1036
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,359
Speaker 4: big and they're chunky, and they're loud and they take

1037
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 4: up space and they're very cool. And that's kind of

1038
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,399
Speaker 4: a really big difference as well, from trying to fit

1039
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 4: into that little neat box to just being like, especially

1040
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,399
Speaker 4: now with the way we're seeing style and we're seeing

1041
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 4: this move to the right, with this sort of you know,

1042
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 4: clean girl, clean core, Yeah, moving away from that. Even

1043
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 4: my nail ladies say the other day, she goes, you're

1044
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 4: the only one of my clients that gets a bright

1045
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 4: colors crazy And I was like, oh, look, maybe they

1046
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 4: have to have baite for work. It was like, no,

1047
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 4: it's a real trend.

1048
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 3: Long gone are the days of Cajun shrimp, you know

1049
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 3: for anyone out there.

1050
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 4: And it, yeah, like embracing that in my style has

1051
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:37,279
Speaker 4: been really nice and doing it within the boundaries of

1052
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 4: this is what works, this is what I will wear,

1053
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 4: this is something that will fit with what I already have,

1054
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 4: and overall just consuming less, buying less, and lucking myself more.

1055
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 3: Ah, that's the dream. Those anchor words that you're talking about.

1056
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 3: Is that something you talk through in the book, because

1057
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 3: that's something I really struggle with. Someone asked U and

1058
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,959
Speaker 3: A on Instagram or something recently, someone said, how would

1059
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 3: you describe your style? And I said, I have absolutely

1060
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 3: like for my clothes, for my home, I couldn't tell you,

1061
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:06,920
Speaker 3: And I feel like that's probably a huge gap because like,

1062
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 3: how do you shop when you don't know what you're

1063
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 3: shopping for?

1064
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 4: It's kind of like, how would you exist in the

1065
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 4: world if you didn't know what you've valued? You know,

1066
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 4: how do you shop when you don't know what your

1067
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 4: style is? I think, yes, I do talk about that

1068
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 4: in the book, and I talk about it in the

1069
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 4: sense of, you know, I have to stay on my

1070
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:21,320
Speaker 4: lane because I'm not a stylist.

1071
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 2: I talk about the style a.

1072
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 4: Lot, but I'm not a qualified stylist, but I talk

1073
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 4: about it in this sense a lot of anchoring it

1074
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 4: to something something physical or something visual, whether it's a

1075
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:35,240
Speaker 4: plant or a place or a city drink.

1076
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 2: You know, there was that kind of ic latte phase.

1077
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:39,319
Speaker 4: I think a lot of people will have that sort

1078
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:40,959
Speaker 4: of style, But there's a lot to be said about

1079
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 4: that because you perceive that thing a certain way, and

1080
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 4: so someone might say, Oh, my style is New York

1081
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 4: and like, that's not something that can be replicated by

1082
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 4: anybody else because the way they perceive New York, oh

1083
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,239
Speaker 4: is really specific to them.

1084
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 2: So again people will be like, express it.

1085
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 5: What are you like?

1086
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 2: What are you talking about.

1087
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 4: But it made sense to me, and I see that

1088
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 4: in my style choices, and that's really all that matters.

1089
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 4: Whereas when we kind of use word you know, feminine, floral, like,

1090
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 4: it can help in a way, but then a hundred

1091
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 4: girls in a lineup could say feminine and it could

1092
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 4: mean something different to them. So your interpretation of like

1093
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 4: traditional style words like that. But I think when you

1094
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 4: pick it, you know, for some people their style might

1095
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 4: be like a velvet sofa and like that evokes a

1096
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 4: feeling in them and they replicate that in their style

1097
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 4: and then it's really unique to you, which is FIRS

1098
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 4: style should be really exactly exactly. But we're so homogeneous

1099
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 4: in our style now the individuality is more and more rare.

1100
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not celebrated in the way that I should be.

1101
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 3: I feel like, either, Wow, we've covered so much today

1102
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 3: before we go. I would love to know for anyone

1103
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: who's listening, they're going I think I need to They're

1104
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,360
Speaker 3: doing exactly what I'm doing. I need to do this challenge,

1105
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 3: This challenges for me. What would your advice be to

1106
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 3: someone who's looking to take it on?

1107
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 4: M Well, I have a whole advice section at the

1108
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 4: back of the book. So I definitely check that out

1109
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 4: because there's a lot to say. My device would be

1110
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 4: don't overthink it, even though I've overthought it to the

1111
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,400
Speaker 4: point I've written a book about it. Don't overthink it.

1112
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:14,240
Speaker 4: Just see what happens again. Trust that you will overcome

1113
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 4: any obstacles as they come to you. You'll instinctively know

1114
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,320
Speaker 4: whether you are sticking to your values of the challenge

1115
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 4: or not. And I guess within that, think about what

1116
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 4: you want to get out of it. What is the

1117
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 4: feeling that you have around your clothes? Yeah, you relate,

1118
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 4: but what does it feel like for you? What are

1119
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 4: the examples of the things that you relate to, What

1120
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 4: items in your wardrobe maybe making you.

1121
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 2: Think about your fantasy self? What does your fantasy self

1122
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 2: look like? How does your.

1123
00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 4: Shopping and your style, your relationship with style kind of

1124
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 4: relate to everything else in your life. You know, for me,

1125
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 4: it was those body image issues. It was growing up

1126
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,919
Speaker 4: through diet culture, through you know that touched my money

1127
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 4: in a lot of ways, and this was that one

1128
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 4: lingering thing. A story I tell a lot is a

1129
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 4: story that's very generously shared in the book from somebody

1130
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:03,720
Speaker 4: from my accountability program, and she had left a toxic

1131
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 4: relationship and she realized that her fantasy self was actually

1132
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 4: not her fantasy self, but his fantasy of what she

1133
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:15,280
Speaker 4: should have done. Wow, And like, there are so many ways,

1134
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 4: depending on what stage of life you're at, a lot

1135
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 4: of people experience the fantasy self when they become a

1136
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 4: mum because they're so you know, that's like next level

1137
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 4: of women's standards of everything that you should be when

1138
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 4: you become a mother, and the identity shift that you

1139
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:30,879
Speaker 4: go through and the lifestyle shift that you go through.

1140
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 4: COVID was a big one at the time, you know,

1141
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 4: for me, thinking about how maybe your buying patterns are

1142
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 4: relating to other things happening in your life that can

1143
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 4: kind of help you find what you're looking for. In

1144
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 4: doing the challenge, I'd be careful of doing it just

1145
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 4: to get the satisfaction of doing it. I'm sure that

1146
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,759
Speaker 4: can be very enjoyable. But I think you need to

1147
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 4: go with a question that you're looking to answer in

1148
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 4: a way to get that really deep learning out of it.

1149
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 4: But you know, it doesn't need to be a year.

1150
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 4: It could be a month. And I think a big

1151
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 4: one is know your behavioral style, Like I said before,

1152
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 4: I'm somebody that does very well with a challenge with abstinence,

1153
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 4: partly because I want to do for work. Yeah, it

1154
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 4: becomes content for me. It helps me examine, you know.

1155
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 4: I'm fascinated by why we do what we do, why

1156
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,439
Speaker 4: we lie, So that helps for me. But if you're

1157
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 4: the type of person that needs a three item buffer,

1158
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 4: work with that. Like you know yourself better than I know.

1159
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 4: You make like set yourself up a success rather than

1160
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 4: trying to do what someone else has done. Because it

1161
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 4: sounds good. Yeah, yeah, it's got to be very personal

1162
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 4: to you.

1163
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 2: Like your style. I love that.

1164
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,040
Speaker 3: And what a beautiful little bow to title up in.

1165
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:36,320
Speaker 3: I have loved this chat, and I thank you so

1166
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 3: much for coming in and sharing. I honestly it's been

1167
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 3: such a joy to have you in.

1168
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. I could yap

1169
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 2: about this all day.

1170
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 3: I have to come back. I know so many of

1171
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:46,920
Speaker 3: our community members are going to be exactly like me

1172
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 3: and wanting to dive deeper into this. So we'll pop

1173
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 3: a link for the wardrobe project in the show notes

1174
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 3: so you can grab your copy. I honestly, I think

1175
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 3: I'll be doing this challenge in twenty twenty six, and

1176
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 3: if you enjoyed this episode, please send it to a

1177
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,200
Speaker 3: friend who might need a little to rethink their shopping

1178
00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 3: habits or their overflowing wardrobe. Don't forget to hit subscribe

1179
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 3: so you never miss an episode, and check out all

1180
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 3: of Emma's links that will have down there as well.

1181
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 3: So thank you for listening, everybody, and we're back for

1182
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 3: another episode on Friday. Hi guys, h.

1183
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 5: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

1184
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:27,280
Speaker 5: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

1185
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:30,720
Speaker 5: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

1186
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 5: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

1187
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,799
Speaker 5: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

1188
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 5: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.

1189
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: Advice tailored towards your needs.

1190
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 5: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives

1191
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:49,719
Speaker 5: of Money showper pty Ltd ABN three two one IS

1192
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 5: six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four

1193
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 5: five one two eight nine.

1194
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 4: He would you want to lead Room