WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT -  How to end an affair

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<v Speaker 1>Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life

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<v Speaker 1>on Cut.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha filling in for Laura today

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<v Speaker 2>because very excitingly, I mean, there's kind of this whole

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<v Speaker 2>other side. I know that everyone who listens to the

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<v Speaker 2>podcast knows that Laura has Tony made.

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<v Speaker 1>A double life. Yeah, she fully has a double life, and.

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<v Speaker 2>I do think that very excitingly Tony may drops two

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<v Speaker 2>collections a year. Today just so happens to be one

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<v Speaker 2>of those days where she's dropped a brand new collection

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<v Speaker 2>and a little bit of insight into you know, how.

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<v Speaker 3>This little team works. I don't know how the hell

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<v Speaker 3>Laura does it.

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<v Speaker 1>We don't know how the hell we work at all,

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<v Speaker 1>full stop, Like we don't know. We scratch our hands

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<v Speaker 1>every single week.

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<v Speaker 3>Every single time.

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<v Speaker 2>But part killie when I consider that Laura has two

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<v Speaker 2>completely separate businesses.

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<v Speaker 3>She also has two young children. Like I just I

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<v Speaker 3>genuinely I don't know when the woman sleeps.

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<v Speaker 1>A Kisha has stepped on him for her And we

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<v Speaker 1>love having you, hear keys. You always happen to fall

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<v Speaker 1>on a Thursday, though, don't you? It never falls on

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<v Speaker 1>a Tuesday.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, and I feel a little bit gypped, because

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<v Speaker 2>not that I don't love asking, don't get me wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>The reason that I mostly feel a bit gypped is

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<v Speaker 2>because usually on a Thursday, we don't do Accidentally Unfiltered

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<v Speaker 2>or the brand new segment confessionals, even though I'm often

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<v Speaker 2>the one who will read your messages on Instagram and

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<v Speaker 2>kind of say, oh, this person sent in this hilarious

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<v Speaker 2>accidentally unfiltered.

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<v Speaker 3>Anyway, someone has sent in a confessional.

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<v Speaker 1>Basically, what you're trying to say. She's basically trying to say,

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<v Speaker 1>is you want your time to shine, you want to

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<v Speaker 1>read a confessional. I can tell no, I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>my time to shine.

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<v Speaker 3>I want my.

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<v Speaker 2>Time to share. Because sometimes I'm not even joking. I

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<v Speaker 2>would just be sitting there. When I used to have housemates,

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<v Speaker 2>I used to know that they hear me just start

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<v Speaker 2>cracking up laughing from my bedroom, and they would be like,

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<v Speaker 2>she's reading messages for work, She's reading those things that

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<v Speaker 2>people send in. Someone sent in a confessional that actually

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<v Speaker 2>had me gasping for air. I was laughing that hard

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<v Speaker 2>at and I would love to share it if I'm

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<v Speaker 2>allowed to, even though it's a Thursday.

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<v Speaker 3>I want to break the rules.

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<v Speaker 1>Before you share it, I want to ask you something.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to know, how has this week been for you?

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<v Speaker 1>Because it's Freedom Week in New South Wales. You more

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<v Speaker 1>than anyone you have had every lockdown in Australia, I

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<v Speaker 1>think because you just moved around. How did you feel

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<v Speaker 1>about it?

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<v Speaker 2>What did you get up to a bit of context

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<v Speaker 2>about that is that I went through the whole Victorian

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<v Speaker 2>lockdown last year, which was an absolute shit show and

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<v Speaker 2>a half. So for any of our Victorian listeners, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel you because I was there with you and listening

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<v Speaker 2>to Laura talk about how, you know, coming out of

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<v Speaker 2>lockdown she actually felt for the first time that she

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<v Speaker 2>had a little bit of social anxiety. I really really

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<v Speaker 2>know what she was talking about, but for me, it

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<v Speaker 2>happened last time. So I went through the Victorian line

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<v Speaker 2>and then I went into hotel quarantine. And when I

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<v Speaker 2>came out of hotel quarantine, I was like, this doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>make any sense to me. I'm such an extroverted person.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been locked up for literally months and I feel

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<v Speaker 2>so weird being around people. I feel like I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to make plans, I don't want to go out

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<v Speaker 2>and socialize. And it was really really odd this time around.

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<v Speaker 3>I was at the pub on Monday night. You were

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<v Speaker 3>like straight out there.

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<v Speaker 2>I was honestly like, where can I have my first

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<v Speaker 2>sip of a beverage in a venue surrounded by people?

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<v Speaker 2>And I went to the Clavelli Hotel, which is a

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<v Speaker 2>couple of suburbs down. I could hear all of these

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<v Speaker 2>men that had just been like having drinks together. They

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<v Speaker 2>were a bit drunk, and I saw these really young

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<v Speaker 2>boys with Vogka raspberries in their hands, and I was like, ah,

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<v Speaker 2>nature is healing.

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<v Speaker 1>What was the general vibe? Were people just frothing or

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<v Speaker 1>were people still like people cautious of COVID? Like could

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<v Speaker 1>you see? Was there like a feeling of people not

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<v Speaker 1>really knowing how to act normal, like they've been keipt

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<v Speaker 1>up for too long?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean I think that there's quite a few mixed opinions.

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<v Speaker 2>I've definitely spoken to some of my friends that have

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<v Speaker 2>been like, I'm not ready to go out yet, Like

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<v Speaker 2>I just I still am a little bit worried. I

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<v Speaker 2>guess for me, I kind of have a bit. Maybe

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<v Speaker 2>I feel a little bit more secure because you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I am jabbed and I'm kind of like Yeah. Cool,

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<v Speaker 2>Like risks are a lot lower and I'm ready to

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<v Speaker 2>get back out there and do my fang.

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<v Speaker 1>Yep, get back on the horse. What you really mean

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<v Speaker 1>is it's time to get back on the dating scene.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm absolutely ready for my hot girl summer. The

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<v Speaker 2>one thing that has been a little bit disappointing about

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<v Speaker 2>this freedom week is that all of a sudden, the

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<v Speaker 2>weather has turned to shit. And I mean like it's

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<v Speaker 2>raining and cold, and it's just raining all day for

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<v Speaker 2>the next week.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's put a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Of a dampener, quite literally on the spirits.

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<v Speaker 1>It's always like I didn't want to give you everything

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<v Speaker 1>all once. It's like we don't want to give you

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<v Speaker 1>complete freedom, like we still want to semi keep you inside.

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<v Speaker 1>So here is a downpour.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think something that we'll be keeping the numbers

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<v Speaker 2>down is the fact that no one wants to go

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<v Speaker 2>outside right now. But I have a question that is

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<v Speaker 2>so important brit that I need your wisdom and I

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<v Speaker 2>need your advice on well.

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<v Speaker 1>Like this is ask I'm card I give my wisdom

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<v Speaker 1>out every Thursday. What do you need to know?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I don't know if you because you've only been

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<v Speaker 2>back in Australia for a little bit. Blueberries have been

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<v Speaker 2>weirdly cheap for quite some time. Blueberries and strawberries you

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<v Speaker 2>can get them for like two dollars a punnet, and

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<v Speaker 2>I have been eating upwards of a punnet a day. However,

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<v Speaker 2>I have a question for you. This particular punnet of

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<v Speaker 2>blueberries that I have just gone to eat, I've opened

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<v Speaker 2>and I must have had them for maybe three days.

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<v Speaker 2>They've been sitting on the bench, so I haven't refrigerated them.

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<v Speaker 2>One of them has mold on it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, you want to know if i'd eat the other ones?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you If one of the berries has mold on it,

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<v Speaker 2>can you just discard that blueberry?

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<v Speaker 3>Slush strawberry? It's happening in both punnets.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you just get rid of that one and the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of fine? Do you eat the rest of the

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<v Speaker 2>punnet or do you throw the whole thing away?

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<v Speaker 1>This is actually a good question. This has happened to

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<v Speaker 1>me before with strawberries. It happens with that as well,

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<v Speaker 1>because sometimes you'll just get like one really bad strawberry

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<v Speaker 1>and the other ones are Okay, I think what I

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<v Speaker 1>think at this point of my life. Okay, in the

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<v Speaker 1>olden days in my youth when I was a sprightly

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<v Speaker 1>young thing with no money.

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<v Speaker 3>When you were poor and you couldn't afford to buy

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<v Speaker 3>another punnet, and.

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<v Speaker 1>I was poor and like a young unichhoodent and you

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<v Speaker 1>know you don't have because I used to be like

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<v Speaker 1>six dollars upun it, I probably would have just Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>when I say probably, I did. You just throw the

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<v Speaker 1>bad one out and you eat the rest. You give

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<v Speaker 1>them a rinse, You give them a rinse under the water,

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<v Speaker 1>just to be sure. But now I just wouldn't do it.

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<v Speaker 1>If there's one that's moldy, I just couldn't. I would

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<v Speaker 1>just think that there is mold on the other ones

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<v Speaker 1>that might be so small and significant that I can't

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<v Speaker 1>see it yet, and it just freaks me out. And like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not at a point now where I have to

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<v Speaker 1>eat moldy food, like I can. I can throw it out.

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<v Speaker 2>And it must be nice to be at the point

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<v Speaker 2>where you don't have to eat the moldy blue bear.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a really great place to be in live. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>So I would probably not eat the mold if there

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<v Speaker 1>was something in there that was moldy and just be

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<v Speaker 1>in the bin for me. What. I feel like you

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<v Speaker 1>are going to eat it.

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<v Speaker 2>Look now that I'm actually making my way through the

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<v Speaker 2>entire punnet, I've just picked out three that have mold

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<v Speaker 2>on them. Still, there's some that are really nice and

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<v Speaker 2>firm and taught, and I'm like, that one looks great.

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<v Speaker 1>Nah, chuck them.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm going to risk it to get the biscuit.

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<v Speaker 2>And I don't know if I'm in the point where

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<v Speaker 2>I have to worry about how expensive blueberries are.

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<v Speaker 3>Firstly, they're very cheap at the moment.

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<v Speaker 2>Secondly, I'm earning money, so like, my life isn't that dire.

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<v Speaker 1>But Keisha, you live in Bondai Beach. You've got it.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got a job, and you just said the pannet

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<v Speaker 1>of blueberries was two dollars. Throw the punnet out. It's

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<v Speaker 1>got mold on it. I will shout you a new

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<v Speaker 1>punnet it's on me.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, that one's got a lot of mold on it. Yeah, No,

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<v Speaker 2>I think this punnet's done.

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<v Speaker 1>There is a bit. I'm literally feeling sick as I

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<v Speaker 1>look at this. She's holding them up to me, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I'm like, woman, are we not paying you enough?

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<v Speaker 3>All right?

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<v Speaker 1>Let me hear it? What is your confessional keche.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I forgot. I haven't even told you yet.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, this has got me so excited. Thank you for

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<v Speaker 2>welcoming me to the brand new segment. If you have

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<v Speaker 2>a confessional, please slide on into the DMS at Life

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<v Speaker 2>Uncut podcast on Instagram. We get a lot of messages

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<v Speaker 2>where people are like, I don't know where to send this.

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<v Speaker 3>Just send it, just type the message.

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<v Speaker 1>It's also funny because every episode we tell you were

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<v Speaker 1>to send it and people go, hey, is this where

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<v Speaker 1>I send it?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, yes, girl, right here, drop it in. Okay.

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<v Speaker 3>This one had me literally in stitches laughing.

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<v Speaker 2>I was out one night and ended up back at

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<v Speaker 2>a guy's house for drinks. All the guys were around

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<v Speaker 2>the fire and I went to the bathroom to check

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<v Speaker 2>myself out. I was totally wasted. My makeup was absolutely nowhere.

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<v Speaker 2>I hadn't fake tanned or really prepared for the night

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<v Speaker 2>as it was spontaneous and look, I knew I wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>looking my best. I thought I could fix the situation

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<v Speaker 2>if I could just find a little bit of foundation

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe some bronza.

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<v Speaker 1>In this man's bathroom.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, in this guy's bathroom hoping this guy had a sister.

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<v Speaker 3>I started looking in the bathroom drawer and cupboard.

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't find anything except for some better dean.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know what came to me, but I proceeded

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<v Speaker 3>to rub the dark yellow antiseptic solution all over my body.

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<v Speaker 2>Trying to give myself that bronzed, glowy, freshly face tanned look.

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<v Speaker 1>No.

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<v Speaker 2>I went back outside and danced by the fire all night,

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<v Speaker 2>looking like someone who had a bad case of jaundice.

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<v Speaker 3>I hope no one could smell me.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't understand. Okay, so just before we get into this,

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<v Speaker 1>because this has to be unpacked for anyone that doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>know what better dean is. It's like that antiseptic that

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<v Speaker 1>you put on a cut or a wound, or that

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<v Speaker 1>can be better than garb, or that you mix me

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<v Speaker 1>water for a sore throat, and it's like it's like

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<v Speaker 1>a deep, rusty red color, Like it's very distinct smell

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<v Speaker 1>and a very distinct color.

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<v Speaker 3>So I'm and it stains too, and it's stained.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm assuming everyone knows what better it in is.

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<v Speaker 1>Now to unpack this, what the actual fuck were you thinking?

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<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:04.119
<v Speaker 1>Wow? And also betting usually comes in like really small containers.

0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:05.720
<v Speaker 1>How did you think there's enough of that to rub

0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:08.080
<v Speaker 1>on your body and make it look like a faked hand? Like,

0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:09.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm so confused.

0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:12.080
<v Speaker 3>She must have been so drunk that stuff is concentrated.

0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:14.280
<v Speaker 3>A little bit goes a long way, Britt. I mean,

0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.720
<v Speaker 3>maybe she's the type of girl who also.

0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Would eat the moldy punet of blueberries because.

0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:24.600
<v Speaker 3>Maguiva up some fake tan fors.

0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:26.680
<v Speaker 1>And okay, I don't I would have been out. I

0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.680
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't straight out of it. I would have I don't know,

0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:30.439
<v Speaker 1>because okay, you put it on your body, you put

0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.079
<v Speaker 1>it on your face for blush, like trying to look

0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.360
<v Speaker 1>like you've got this tan. You definitely look like you've

0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.560
<v Speaker 1>got a disease. And then you go out to the

0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:38.319
<v Speaker 1>fire and act like nothing happened. You're like, hey boy,

0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.360
<v Speaker 1>it's just had to freshen up in the bathroom. How

0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:41.400
<v Speaker 1>did no one notice?

0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:44.480
<v Speaker 3>She goes out and they're like, are you experiencing liver failure?

0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:46.400
<v Speaker 2>Because right now you are yellow. You look like a

0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Simpsons character. You should have just been a homer like

0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:51.600
<v Speaker 2>backing into the bush away being like I have made

0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:52.240
<v Speaker 2>a mistake.

0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:54.240
<v Speaker 1>I think I need to take you to the hospital.

0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:56.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, that was so good. This is why

0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:58.360
<v Speaker 1>this this is why this new segment is so brilliant,

0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:00.000
<v Speaker 1>because there are things that you think no one would

0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.160
<v Speaker 1>ever I ever do, And I'm sure you've never told

0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.199
<v Speaker 1>anyone that story. So thank you so much for sharing

0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:07.000
<v Speaker 1>that with us. Keep those coming in, all right, Should

0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:08.160
<v Speaker 1>we get into some questions?

0:11:08.400 --> 0:11:10.240
<v Speaker 3>Yep, let's jump into some questions. Ah.

0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.600
<v Speaker 2>This first one I have for you, brit very very juicy,

0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:16.680
<v Speaker 2>and I just want to remind everyone that this is

0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:17.480
<v Speaker 2>a real person.

0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so before you.

0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.840
<v Speaker 2>Get your judgment on, this is a real person and

0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:24.319
<v Speaker 2>we need some kindness.

0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I mean, just so you guys know, they're all real

0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:28.720
<v Speaker 1>people every week and you're gonna see why I needed

0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:30.000
<v Speaker 1>to remind you of this though.

0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I've turned into someone I never thought I would.

0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:36.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm getting married in three months, but I've been sleeping

0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:39.120
<v Speaker 2>with someone I work with for two months.

0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:41.920
<v Speaker 3>I love my fiance. I want to be with him.

0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:45.000
<v Speaker 2>We have our life together, we want to start a family.

0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:48.280
<v Speaker 2>He is so amazing and so is our life. I've

0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 2>been sleeping with a guy I work with for two

0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:52.640
<v Speaker 2>months who is also married with two kids.

0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:55.160
<v Speaker 3>It's the best sex I've ever had.

0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.120
<v Speaker 2>There's definitely feelings there beyond sex for both of us,

0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:00.240
<v Speaker 2>but I know I need to end it with him

0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:01.200
<v Speaker 2>and focus.

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:01.600
<v Speaker 3>On my partner.

0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.600
<v Speaker 2>We both agree we need to end it and want

0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.520
<v Speaker 2>to stay with our current partners. My question is, how

0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.400
<v Speaker 2>do we end it when it's hard to walk away

0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.280
<v Speaker 2>from the sex and the connection that we have.

0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.520
<v Speaker 3>Do we just stop talking or do we.

0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:17.080
<v Speaker 2>Slowly cut it out of our lives? Please help me

0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:19.640
<v Speaker 2>figure this out, since I know you'll probably ask. We

0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.400
<v Speaker 2>both still have sex with our partners, but for me,

0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.319
<v Speaker 2>there is definitely a sexual chemistry lacking, and I feel

0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:27.720
<v Speaker 2>like my partner doesn't want sex as much as I do.

0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.480
<v Speaker 2>I really really don't want to end things with my

0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.199
<v Speaker 2>current partner. I haven't told anyone about this, and it's

0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:34.960
<v Speaker 2>been really hard not being able to talk to my

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:37.240
<v Speaker 2>friends about it. I hope I can get some of

0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:37.800
<v Speaker 2>your help.

0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:43.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, what are you doing? Girl? I feel

0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:47.439
<v Speaker 1>so sorry, not for you, but for your fiance. That

0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:50.240
<v Speaker 1>is who I feel really sorry for. This is a

0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.920
<v Speaker 1>really shitty situation, and it's obviously very hard for you

0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:55.680
<v Speaker 1>because you've developed feelings for someone else. But the only

0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.240
<v Speaker 1>reason you've developed feelings for someone else is because you've

0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:00.960
<v Speaker 1>allowed yourself to develop those feeling You've put yourself in

0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:05.120
<v Speaker 1>a situation where you have become close and intimate with

0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.360
<v Speaker 1>someone else that's not your fiance. And we all know

0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:12.840
<v Speaker 1>that sex isn't ever just sex for women or very rarely,

0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:15.520
<v Speaker 1>we get these dopamine hits and it becomes an addiction

0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.400
<v Speaker 1>and we feel very intimate and close, and these connections

0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:22.400
<v Speaker 1>form even if you don't want them to. Your question

0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.400
<v Speaker 1>here is you're saying that you know you need to

0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:27.080
<v Speaker 1>be with your partner and you need to end things

0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:28.840
<v Speaker 1>with this person, and it should How do you end it?

0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 1>Should it be a soft fade out? Can you keep

0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.640
<v Speaker 1>the contact? No? Like it's not a soft fade. This

0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:35.959
<v Speaker 1>has to end if you want to be with your partner.

0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean, a this shouldn't have happened. But I don't

0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:40.439
<v Speaker 1>know what else is going on in your life. Obviously

0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:42.920
<v Speaker 1>there's something that's not quite right, because that's why you've

0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:46.960
<v Speaker 1>gone to seek out someone else. If you want this

0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:49.040
<v Speaker 1>relationship with your fiance to work, you need to one

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:50.880
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent end this, and I think you need to

0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.280
<v Speaker 1>cold turkey it. You just end it. You don't soft fade.

0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.520
<v Speaker 1>You don't cut down to sleeping together once a week,

0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:58.679
<v Speaker 1>you don't contact each other anymore. He has a wife

0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:02.120
<v Speaker 1>and kids, like he has a whole whole family. On

0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:04.520
<v Speaker 1>the flip side of this, if you're saying, like, we

0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.520
<v Speaker 1>just have this real connection and if you think it's

0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.880
<v Speaker 1>going to be hard to pull away from this other

0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:12.000
<v Speaker 1>person that you're having in an affair with, then I

0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:14.760
<v Speaker 1>don't think you should marry your fiance. Like, I don't

0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:17.320
<v Speaker 1>think you're in the right situation. Because if you have

0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 1>these really strong feelings for someone else and you're saying,

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how I'm going to keep him up

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:23.680
<v Speaker 1>and we have this real connection, then I don't think

0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:25.680
<v Speaker 1>you're marrying the right person. So I think that you've

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:27.920
<v Speaker 1>got to really make a decision. If you know you

0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 1>want to be with your fiance like you're saying, then

0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.440
<v Speaker 1>this shouldn't be hard for you. You need to cut it

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.840
<v Speaker 1>and give everything you have to your fiance. And I

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:36.760
<v Speaker 1>know that this might not be what you want to hear.

0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:39.560
<v Speaker 1>And I think deep down you already know the answer.

0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:41.680
<v Speaker 1>I think you really do. I think you know what's right,

0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:43.000
<v Speaker 1>and you think you know what we're going to say.

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.920
<v Speaker 1>But I think you want to hear somebody else tell you.

0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:47.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, that was why I actually like at the start

0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:49.520
<v Speaker 2>of this, I said, I just want to remind everyone

0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:51.760
<v Speaker 2>that this is a real person who is experiencing this,

0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.400
<v Speaker 2>because I'm not in any position to stand on a pedestal,

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:56.600
<v Speaker 2>point the finger and say you're doing the wrong thing,

0:14:56.720 --> 0:15:00.640
<v Speaker 2>because you like the reality is cheerity know that she is,

0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:03.840
<v Speaker 2>and you know she doesn't need us to kind of

0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:07.040
<v Speaker 2>stand here and berate her about that. But the question

0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:10.960
<v Speaker 2>that you've asked is how do I stop this? And

0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:14.080
<v Speaker 2>I think that realistically, if you work with this person,

0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:17.000
<v Speaker 2>that you're kind of I guess what I'm reading between

0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.240
<v Speaker 2>the lines is that is that you feel so sexually

0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.600
<v Speaker 2>attracted to this person that you don't really trust yourself

0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 2>around them because you kind of let this innate desire

0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:25.000
<v Speaker 2>take over.

0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:26.040
<v Speaker 3>When you're in their presence.

0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:28.240
<v Speaker 2>I think you need to put things in place so

0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:30.840
<v Speaker 2>that you're not in their presence. So, whether that be

0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:34.240
<v Speaker 2>that you are not alone together ever at work, if

0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.760
<v Speaker 2>you somehow find a way to implement that, or I'm

0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:39.880
<v Speaker 2>obviously you're going to have to have this conversation with

0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.400
<v Speaker 2>this other person. But as you've said, he also wants

0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:46.080
<v Speaker 2>to remain with his partner. It sounds as though you

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.600
<v Speaker 2>need to put some actual physical boundaries in place, and

0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:51.800
<v Speaker 2>if that's not able to be done, it might mean

0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:53.600
<v Speaker 2>that you have to leave your job.

0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:55.320
<v Speaker 3>It might mean that you.

0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:57.680
<v Speaker 2>Have to kind of go that is who I used

0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:00.160
<v Speaker 2>to be, and I don't want that for myself. I

0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.920
<v Speaker 2>don't want that for my life with my partner that

0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:05.280
<v Speaker 2>I do want to be completely dedicated to and I

0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.160
<v Speaker 2>do want to be committed to, And if that's what

0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 2>has to happen, then maybe you need to look at

0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 2>that as an option, because it's sounding like you will

0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:17.200
<v Speaker 2>already feel guilt about the situation, and perhaps you can

0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:19.800
<v Speaker 2>try and rewire your brain so that when you're around

0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:23.080
<v Speaker 2>this person that you have been cheating with, maybe it's

0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.360
<v Speaker 2>good for you to picture something like the look on

0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:28.600
<v Speaker 2>your partner's face if they were to find out. Picture

0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:30.600
<v Speaker 2>what would happen if it was on your wedding day

0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:32.920
<v Speaker 2>and all of a sudden, this information got released to

0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.680
<v Speaker 2>everyone in front of you. And I think that if

0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:38.960
<v Speaker 2>you can try and associate feelings like that with this

0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:41.200
<v Speaker 2>other person that you're cheating with, I think that those

0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:45.200
<v Speaker 2>feelings of that chemistry and that sexual desire could quite

0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 2>quickly be quashed because what you have writing on the

0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:52.160
<v Speaker 2>line is so much more than just this innate desire

0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:53.440
<v Speaker 2>to have sex with this person.

0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:57.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but also like, just have some self control, Like, honestly,

0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.880
<v Speaker 1>if you are I really I do believe this, and

0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:03.560
<v Speaker 1>I know there's always temptations in relationships, and for the

0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:05.040
<v Speaker 1>rest of our life, you're always going to have an

0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:07.200
<v Speaker 1>attraction to someone else. We're humans. You're always going to

0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:09.560
<v Speaker 1>look at someone and be like, damn surety, like you're

0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:10.040
<v Speaker 1>a babe.

0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:11.560
<v Speaker 3>That's so normal.

0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.879
<v Speaker 1>But if you can't, if you cannot have any self

0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.680
<v Speaker 1>control around someone that you think is attractive, I don't

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:19.880
<v Speaker 1>think you're in the right relationship. And I'm not having

0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:22.640
<v Speaker 1>to go at you personally. This goes for any relationship.

0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:25.200
<v Speaker 1>If you marry someone and you're saying I want to

0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:27.439
<v Speaker 1>spend my life with them, and they are of the

0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:30.879
<v Speaker 1>understanding that you two are exclusive and you don't have

0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:33.720
<v Speaker 1>an open relationship, then that is something you really need

0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.720
<v Speaker 1>to commit to an honor and think about because maybe

0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.520
<v Speaker 1>that isn't the life you want deep down, maybe you're

0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:42.159
<v Speaker 1>really comfortable. I also want you to keep in mind

0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:45.199
<v Speaker 1>that it is a really normal thing when you're in

0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:49.000
<v Speaker 1>a long term relationship for the sex to change. It's

0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.720
<v Speaker 1>you don't have that same animalistic feeling where you want

0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:54.439
<v Speaker 1>to be all over each other like you do at

0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:56.760
<v Speaker 1>the beginning of a relationship. It's different. You still want

0:17:56.800 --> 0:18:00.399
<v Speaker 1>to have sex and you love makings different and your connections,

0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:02.359
<v Speaker 1>but it's not the same as it was. And what

0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:06.320
<v Speaker 1>you're feeling now with this person is a level of excitement.

0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:09.520
<v Speaker 1>You're doing the wrong thing. You're sneaking around. He's feeling

0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:11.879
<v Speaker 1>the same thing too, because he's sneaking around behind his

0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.840
<v Speaker 1>wife and his children's back. If you were in a

0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.840
<v Speaker 1>long term relationship with this person too, the sex would

0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:19.919
<v Speaker 1>probably end up exactly the same as it is with

0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.280
<v Speaker 1>you now. It would also die down the same as

0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:24.320
<v Speaker 1>it has with his relationship. So I think that that's

0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.439
<v Speaker 1>really important, something really important to think about. And I

0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:28.879
<v Speaker 1>know a lot of people that have written it in

0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:30.600
<v Speaker 1>the past, and a lot of people we've spoken to

0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.520
<v Speaker 1>have said that this is what's happened. They have met

0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.280
<v Speaker 1>someone and they've left their partner for this person because

0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:38.720
<v Speaker 1>it was just like this all consuming feeling that they'd

0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:40.960
<v Speaker 1>never had before, and the sex was amazing and they

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:42.480
<v Speaker 1>just wanted to be with each other all the time.

0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.080
<v Speaker 1>And after a couple of months, six months, they realized

0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:49.679
<v Speaker 1>very quickly that it was a moment in time and

0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.360
<v Speaker 1>it was more about the situation and it wasn't necessarily

0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:55.080
<v Speaker 1>the connection was not this deep seated connection where they

0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:57.960
<v Speaker 1>were soulmates. So I think you really need to sit

0:18:58.000 --> 0:19:00.239
<v Speaker 1>down and just ask yourself what you want. And if

0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:02.760
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to marry your partner, that's actually okay

0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:05.320
<v Speaker 1>like that, there is nothing wrong with that. You just

0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:08.280
<v Speaker 1>need to decide why you're making these decisions. So think

0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:10.439
<v Speaker 1>about what it is that's driving you to be with

0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.960
<v Speaker 1>someone else. Is there more going on at home? But

0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:16.000
<v Speaker 1>if you really really want to be with your fiance,

0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:20.119
<v Speaker 1>then like for me, it needs to end. There's no

0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:22.480
<v Speaker 1>slow fade off with this person you're having an affair with.

0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:24.760
<v Speaker 1>It just needs to end. I would just have one

0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.760
<v Speaker 1>last conversation with him and say I'm absolutely committed to

0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:30.600
<v Speaker 1>my relationship and this we cannot have any communication anymore,

0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:32.320
<v Speaker 1>and then that's it. That's it. You just have some

0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:32.959
<v Speaker 1>self control.

0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:34.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think what you were saying about the whole

0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:38.359
<v Speaker 2>forbidden fruit vibe is very real. Like when you feel

0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:40.440
<v Speaker 2>like you're doing something that's a bit naughty and it's

0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.560
<v Speaker 2>so exciting, you know, we get addicted to that dopamine hit,

0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.480
<v Speaker 2>that rush of like this is such a thrill. So

0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:48.439
<v Speaker 2>I very much agree with you in that sense, and

0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:50.960
<v Speaker 2>I think that it's probably best you have said that

0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.040
<v Speaker 2>you haven't told anyone about this. I actually think that

0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:54.480
<v Speaker 2>this is the type of thing that would be really

0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:56.960
<v Speaker 2>good for you to unpack with a psychologist, just so

0:19:57.000 --> 0:19:59.320
<v Speaker 2>that you can have that accountability. You know, these people

0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:02.600
<v Speaker 2>are trained professionally for this, and I think that if

0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:04.560
<v Speaker 2>you do have someone that you can go to that

0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:08.160
<v Speaker 2>is such a trusted source, like a professional psychologist, that

0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:11.760
<v Speaker 2>might actually help you keep yourself on track, because right

0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.399
<v Speaker 2>now it sounds like you need someone to be accountable to.

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:16.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you definitely need to have someone to talk to.

0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:18.719
<v Speaker 1>And I know I understand this is something that you

0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:20.720
<v Speaker 1>don't want to speak to your friends or anyone about,

0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:23.240
<v Speaker 1>but it's important that you are going through something that

0:20:23.359 --> 0:20:25.639
<v Speaker 1>is pretty heavy and it's a big weight on your

0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:28.280
<v Speaker 1>shoulders and it is confusing, and I don't think it's

0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:29.840
<v Speaker 1>the sort of thing you should ever have to keep

0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:32.080
<v Speaker 1>just to yourself. So absolutely, if there's someone that you

0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:34.400
<v Speaker 1>can reach out to and share this with and work

0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:36.800
<v Speaker 1>through it. I think that that's one hundred percent what

0:20:36.840 --> 0:20:39.280
<v Speaker 1>you should do. Yeah, and before, I'm just still thinking

0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:41.359
<v Speaker 1>about it. Before. I don't want it to sound like

0:20:41.400 --> 0:20:43.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm just having to go with this girl, because I

0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:45.720
<v Speaker 1>know people that have been in this kind of situation

0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:47.720
<v Speaker 1>before that have done the wrong thing in their relationship,

0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:50.119
<v Speaker 1>and there's always more to the story. It's never just

0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:52.119
<v Speaker 1>like I want to be a horrible person and do

0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:54.240
<v Speaker 1>the wrong thing to my partner. There is always more

0:20:54.280 --> 0:20:56.200
<v Speaker 1>going on. But that is why I just think it's

0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:58.160
<v Speaker 1>important you talk to someone about it and work out

0:20:58.160 --> 0:20:58.920
<v Speaker 1>what you really want.

0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.880
<v Speaker 2>I wholeheartedly agree with you, Britt. We are not here

0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:04.760
<v Speaker 2>to put judgment on everyone. We've all got our demons

0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:07.440
<v Speaker 2>and we've all fucked up before, so I'm not gonna

0:21:07.480 --> 0:21:09.199
<v Speaker 2>point the finger at anybody.

0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:12.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, so, let's jump into question number two. Okay,

0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:15.879
<v Speaker 1>question number two. I'm eight weeks into a new relationship

0:21:15.920 --> 0:21:19.439
<v Speaker 1>with an absolutely amazing guy. We are super compatible in

0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:21.800
<v Speaker 1>so many ways. He treats me like a goddess, he's

0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:25.200
<v Speaker 1>done sexy, and he's just a genuinely great human. He's

0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:27.280
<v Speaker 1>the first guy in my seven years of dating that

0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:29.240
<v Speaker 1>I have felt there might actually be a future with,

0:21:29.320 --> 0:21:31.520
<v Speaker 1>and I really want to give it my all. But

0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:35.120
<v Speaker 1>because there's always a butt when it comes to our beliefs,

0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:38.000
<v Speaker 1>we are very very different. He is religious, He's Christian,

0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:41.479
<v Speaker 1>he takes his faith very seriously, whilst I consider myself

0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:44.000
<v Speaker 1>to be more spiritual. I was raised Christian, but I

0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:46.000
<v Speaker 1>don't agree with a lot of the teachings now, so

0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:48.880
<v Speaker 1>I just no longer follow it. There are certain elements

0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:53.120
<v Speaker 1>of Christianity, particularly around LGBTI matters that I will never

0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:55.280
<v Speaker 1>agree with, and I know that he and I will

0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:57.720
<v Speaker 1>never see eye to eye on He knows where I

0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:00.040
<v Speaker 1>stand and claims to be okay with it, but I

0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:02.439
<v Speaker 1>worried that might not always be the case. So my

0:22:02.520 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 1>question is, do you think you can be with someone

0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:09.480
<v Speaker 1>long term who fundamentally holds very different views and beliefs

0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:09.720
<v Speaker 1>to you?

0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:10.960
<v Speaker 3>Woo.

0:22:11.080 --> 0:22:13.879
<v Speaker 2>Usually I'm a bit of a let's play two sides

0:22:13.880 --> 0:22:16.800
<v Speaker 2>of the coin here, but for this I have a

0:22:16.960 --> 0:22:20.480
<v Speaker 2>very very clear answer. But I do think the answer

0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:24.439
<v Speaker 2>is from my perspective. I do not think that you

0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:28.240
<v Speaker 2>can be with someone where you have different belief systems.

0:22:28.440 --> 0:22:30.840
<v Speaker 2>So whether that be your political views, whether that be

0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:32.840
<v Speaker 2>your religious.

0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:33.639
<v Speaker 3>Views, whatever it might be.

0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:36.399
<v Speaker 2>The way that you see the world to me is

0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:40.480
<v Speaker 2>a really really important thing. And this actually I grew

0:22:40.560 --> 0:22:42.320
<v Speaker 2>up in a situation quite similar to this.

0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:43.160
<v Speaker 3>As I was a kid.

0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:47.360
<v Speaker 2>My dad became very religious. And it wasn't the thing

0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:49.600
<v Speaker 2>that broke up my parents, but it kind of was

0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:53.240
<v Speaker 2>the thing that broke up my parents because it impacts

0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:56.080
<v Speaker 2>the way that you see so many different aspects of

0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:57.880
<v Speaker 2>the world, and I think it really impacts the way

0:22:57.880 --> 0:22:59.640
<v Speaker 2>that you want to raise your children as well. Though

0:22:59.680 --> 0:23:03.359
<v Speaker 2>I'm not religious, but I have dated someone whose father

0:23:03.520 --> 0:23:07.040
<v Speaker 2>was the pastor of a church, and I remember thinking

0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:09.359
<v Speaker 2>at the time, this could be a really big issue

0:23:09.359 --> 0:23:11.160
<v Speaker 2>for us if we end up having children. I don't

0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 2>want my children to be baptized. I don't want them

0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:16.320
<v Speaker 2>to be christened. I don't want them to go to

0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:19.080
<v Speaker 2>church because I don't believe in that kind of stuff.

0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:20.119
<v Speaker 3>But he really would have.

0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:22.720
<v Speaker 2>And it was again, it wasn't the thing that broke

0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:24.280
<v Speaker 2>us up, but it was definitely something in the back

0:23:24.280 --> 0:23:26.240
<v Speaker 2>of my mind that I was like, this is something.

0:23:25.960 --> 0:23:28.879
<v Speaker 3>That maybe I should be taken a little bit more seriously.

0:23:29.000 --> 0:23:30.280
<v Speaker 3>And now that I'm older.

0:23:30.960 --> 0:23:33.840
<v Speaker 2>I very much think that it is so important to

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:35.760
<v Speaker 2>be aligned on those kinds of things.

0:23:36.119 --> 0:23:38.680
<v Speaker 1>Look, I agree, I do think you one hundred percent

0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:41.000
<v Speaker 1>need to be aligned with where you see your life going,

0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:43.159
<v Speaker 1>how you want to raise kids, the things that you

0:23:43.160 --> 0:23:45.639
<v Speaker 1>can talk about, the things you can support and believe,

0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.600
<v Speaker 1>your political agenda, all of the above. Like, it's very

0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:51.280
<v Speaker 1>important that you're sort of on the same wavelength. Do

0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:53.640
<v Speaker 1>I think you can be with someone with differences. I do.

0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:58.000
<v Speaker 1>I do think you can, but only if they're not

0:23:58.200 --> 0:24:01.879
<v Speaker 1>to the extreme. Only if you can both say like, cool,

0:24:01.960 --> 0:24:04.280
<v Speaker 1>well I believe this and you believe that, And that's

0:24:04.320 --> 0:24:05.600
<v Speaker 1>just how it's going to be. Neither of us are

0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:08.080
<v Speaker 1>going to push our agenda on each other. We're still

0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:10.040
<v Speaker 1>going to be able to independently do what we want

0:24:10.080 --> 0:24:11.959
<v Speaker 1>to do and believe in what we want to believe in.

0:24:12.720 --> 0:24:14.760
<v Speaker 1>There is a way that that can work. I mean,

0:24:14.840 --> 0:24:17.240
<v Speaker 1>I dated someone I'm not religious, and I dated someone

0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:19.719
<v Speaker 1>for two years I was a Muslim, and you know,

0:24:19.920 --> 0:24:22.800
<v Speaker 1>we were in love and we talked often about what

0:24:22.840 --> 0:24:24.920
<v Speaker 1>the future would look like and he never actually tried

0:24:24.960 --> 0:24:27.320
<v Speaker 1>to push anything on me, which is the only reason

0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:30.560
<v Speaker 1>it worked. But where you start to come unstuck in

0:24:30.640 --> 0:24:33.439
<v Speaker 1>these kind of relationships is and you're only eight weeks in,

0:24:33.600 --> 0:24:35.760
<v Speaker 1>so you might not have had these conversations yet. But

0:24:35.960 --> 0:24:38.520
<v Speaker 1>where you come unstuck is when children come into the picture,

0:24:38.560 --> 0:24:40.680
<v Speaker 1>because it changes the rest of your life, and it's

0:24:40.720 --> 0:24:43.200
<v Speaker 1>all day and it's every day, and it's very important

0:24:43.240 --> 0:24:45.399
<v Speaker 1>that you're raising them how you want to raise them.

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:47.720
<v Speaker 1>So if you don't agree on that, and if it's

0:24:47.720 --> 0:24:50.640
<v Speaker 1>the difference between them going to church or not going

0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:54.080
<v Speaker 1>to church or anything else that comes along with your religion,

0:24:54.200 --> 0:24:56.120
<v Speaker 1>then it's going to be a problem, whether you want

0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:58.680
<v Speaker 1>to admit it or not. So I think that it's

0:24:58.720 --> 0:25:00.520
<v Speaker 1>hard for you. It's really early days, so maybe you

0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:03.440
<v Speaker 1>need to have the conversation. I couldn't be with someone

0:25:03.480 --> 0:25:06.360
<v Speaker 1>and you brought up that there's a problem with LGBTI

0:25:06.800 --> 0:25:10.680
<v Speaker 1>if my partner didn't or wasn't supportive of gay marriage

0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:14.639
<v Speaker 1>or he was homophobic, that for me is a deal breaker.

0:25:14.800 --> 0:25:17.200
<v Speaker 1>It just one hundred percent is I'm so passionate about

0:25:17.240 --> 0:25:19.320
<v Speaker 1>it that for me, it's too much of a difference.

0:25:19.320 --> 0:25:21.359
<v Speaker 1>And it sounds like that's an issue in this because

0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:22.840
<v Speaker 1>you've specifically singled that out.

0:25:23.000 --> 0:25:24.360
<v Speaker 3>But I also think that this could.

0:25:24.440 --> 0:25:26.879
<v Speaker 2>And I hope I'm not projecting my own beliefs onto you,

0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:29.400
<v Speaker 2>because I would consider myself to be quite an outspoken

0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:33.440
<v Speaker 2>and quite quite full on in terms of the political space.

0:25:33.760 --> 0:25:35.200
<v Speaker 3>So for me, it's.

0:25:35.080 --> 0:25:37.480
<v Speaker 2>Really important that I would be with someone that had

0:25:37.480 --> 0:25:38.399
<v Speaker 2>the same views as me.

0:25:38.600 --> 0:25:39.200
<v Speaker 3>Maybe if you.

0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Were more like a moderate person in things like, you know,

0:25:42.119 --> 0:25:44.040
<v Speaker 2>religion and political beliefs, that kind of thing, they kind

0:25:44.040 --> 0:25:46.040
<v Speaker 2>of go hand in hand, they cross over a lot.

0:25:46.359 --> 0:25:48.239
<v Speaker 2>Maybe if you are a little bit more moderate, this

0:25:48.280 --> 0:25:50.439
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be as big of an issue to you. But

0:25:50.560 --> 0:25:53.200
<v Speaker 2>you have said in your message to us that you will.

0:25:53.240 --> 0:25:55.520
<v Speaker 2>You know, you're never going to agree or see ey

0:25:55.560 --> 0:26:00.359
<v Speaker 2>to eye on some things like LGBTI matters. So I

0:26:00.400 --> 0:26:02.960
<v Speaker 2>think that for this one, you need to firstly work

0:26:03.000 --> 0:26:06.320
<v Speaker 2>out how big of an issue this will be for you,

0:26:07.440 --> 0:26:10.600
<v Speaker 2>and then have a think about, oh, well, you know,

0:26:10.680 --> 0:26:12.120
<v Speaker 2>is it better to just nip it in the bud

0:26:12.160 --> 0:26:14.440
<v Speaker 2>now because this is not going to change We've got

0:26:14.560 --> 0:26:17.080
<v Speaker 2>very different political and religious beliefs.

0:26:17.840 --> 0:26:19.320
<v Speaker 3>Or is it that important to you.

0:26:19.840 --> 0:26:21.320
<v Speaker 1>I know in eight weeks you've been with it for

0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:23.320
<v Speaker 1>eight weeks, and I know because I fell in love

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:25.479
<v Speaker 1>with Jordan in eight weeks. I know that you can

0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:27.760
<v Speaker 1>have really strong feelings for someone in that short amount

0:26:27.760 --> 0:26:31.560
<v Speaker 1>of time. Absolutely, but it's definitely easier to extract yourself

0:26:31.560 --> 0:26:33.200
<v Speaker 1>from a situation that you know is not going to

0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:35.840
<v Speaker 1>work now than one year or two years in. So

0:26:36.040 --> 0:26:38.160
<v Speaker 1>I think if you know that you have those feelings now,

0:26:38.280 --> 0:26:40.200
<v Speaker 1>don't just put a band aid on it and keep going.

0:26:40.600 --> 0:26:42.320
<v Speaker 1>I would front up and deally with it now.

0:26:42.480 --> 0:26:46.119
<v Speaker 2>Brick question for you, how would you feel now, However,

0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:48.760
<v Speaker 2>many months into being with Jordan if you found out

0:26:48.760 --> 0:26:53.199
<v Speaker 2>he voted no to the gay marriage debate, Like so

0:26:53.760 --> 0:26:55.159
<v Speaker 2>it is to add that on the end, if you

0:26:55.200 --> 0:26:58.720
<v Speaker 2>found out he voted no to the gay marriage plebiscite.

0:26:58.800 --> 0:27:01.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm very lucky I've been with him almost

0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:03.840
<v Speaker 1>a year now, but I'm very lucky that I know

0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:05.600
<v Speaker 1>he didn't and I know he's very supportive of that.

0:27:05.640 --> 0:27:09.880
<v Speaker 1>But it would, honestly, I would, really I would discuss

0:27:09.920 --> 0:27:11.680
<v Speaker 1>with it. I'd have to have a discussion and say, hey,

0:27:11.800 --> 0:27:13.480
<v Speaker 1>do you still feel that way? I know you've voted

0:27:13.480 --> 0:27:14.919
<v Speaker 1>for that, but do you still feel that way? And

0:27:15.000 --> 0:27:16.920
<v Speaker 1>is that the way you're going moving forward? And I

0:27:16.920 --> 0:27:18.280
<v Speaker 1>don't think I could be with him there's too many

0:27:18.280 --> 0:27:21.400
<v Speaker 1>people in my life that I love very very dearly

0:27:21.480 --> 0:27:23.720
<v Speaker 1>that that would affect. So I just couldn't support it.

0:27:23.800 --> 0:27:25.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't think I could be with it. It's just

0:27:25.080 --> 0:27:27.280
<v Speaker 1>one of those things that I feel very very strongly about.

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:28.520
<v Speaker 3>I very much see what you mean.

0:27:28.560 --> 0:27:30.600
<v Speaker 2>It's like, there's so many memes about this when it's

0:27:30.640 --> 0:27:32.200
<v Speaker 2>like if you fall in love with someone and then

0:27:32.200 --> 0:27:34.760
<v Speaker 2>find out that they have official in their Instagram handle,

0:27:34.800 --> 0:27:36.760
<v Speaker 2>I feel like this is an actual, real one where

0:27:36.760 --> 0:27:38.640
<v Speaker 2>it's like, ah, if you fall in love with someone

0:27:38.680 --> 0:27:41.879
<v Speaker 2>and then find out that they're a secret homopholk.

0:27:41.600 --> 0:27:43.359
<v Speaker 1>If you fell in If you fell in love with

0:27:43.359 --> 0:27:45.720
<v Speaker 1>someone and then you found out they ate moldy blueberries,

0:27:45.720 --> 0:27:46.560
<v Speaker 1>would you stay with them?

0:27:48.359 --> 0:27:48.600
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:27:48.720 --> 0:27:51.119
<v Speaker 2>I would say they're very resourceful and they could be

0:27:51.119 --> 0:27:52.000
<v Speaker 2>bear grills if.

0:27:51.920 --> 0:27:53.160
<v Speaker 3>We're out in the wilderness.

0:27:53.359 --> 0:27:55.639
<v Speaker 1>But this is again like this is very individual to you.

0:27:55.720 --> 0:27:58.960
<v Speaker 1>It's only if something matters to you that strongly that

0:27:59.080 --> 0:28:00.880
<v Speaker 1>is going to affect you. So for a lot of people,

0:28:00.880 --> 0:28:03.359
<v Speaker 1>what might not matter. But you've said it's obvious an issue.

0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:05.000
<v Speaker 1>It's on your mind enough to write into us. So

0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:07.199
<v Speaker 1>I think, yeah, I have the conversation with him and

0:28:07.240 --> 0:28:09.520
<v Speaker 1>really decide if it's what you want your future to

0:28:09.560 --> 0:28:09.960
<v Speaker 1>look like.

0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:11.880
<v Speaker 3>Rightyh okay?

0:28:11.920 --> 0:28:12.680
<v Speaker 1>Question number three.

0:28:12.760 --> 0:28:13.600
<v Speaker 3>Question number three.

0:28:13.800 --> 0:28:18.119
<v Speaker 2>This one very topical right now because of some international

0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:22.520
<v Speaker 2>travel restrictions apparently being lifted. Very excited with recent years

0:28:22.560 --> 0:28:25.639
<v Speaker 2>of international travel resuming in the near future. When a

0:28:25.640 --> 0:28:28.119
<v Speaker 2>couple of my friends and I met recently, we started

0:28:28.200 --> 0:28:31.440
<v Speaker 2>dreaming of our future travels. I have traveled with one

0:28:31.480 --> 0:28:34.119
<v Speaker 2>of these friends before, but not the other. The friend

0:28:34.119 --> 0:28:36.479
<v Speaker 2>I have traveled with before I would love to travel

0:28:36.480 --> 0:28:39.360
<v Speaker 2>with again. But I can't imagine traveling with the other friend,

0:28:39.440 --> 0:28:42.640
<v Speaker 2>despite knowing her most of my life, because I already

0:28:42.680 --> 0:28:44.959
<v Speaker 2>know that I would be really annoyed by her, and

0:28:45.040 --> 0:28:48.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't want that to affect our friendship. When we

0:28:48.160 --> 0:28:50.600
<v Speaker 2>caught up recently, both friends said that we should plan

0:28:50.640 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 2>a trip for the three of us next year. They

0:28:52.680 --> 0:28:56.959
<v Speaker 2>were both so excited. I just smiled and didn't comment.

0:28:57.640 --> 0:28:59.840
<v Speaker 2>If they bring it up again, how do I ap

0:29:00.000 --> 0:29:02.080
<v Speaker 2>approach the fact that I don't want to travel with

0:29:02.320 --> 0:29:02.960
<v Speaker 2>one of them?

0:29:03.360 --> 0:29:05.080
<v Speaker 3>Oh, this is so awkward.

0:29:06.440 --> 0:29:09.280
<v Speaker 1>This is pretty awkward, but okay. So the first part

0:29:09.280 --> 0:29:11.560
<v Speaker 1>of me wants to say, you don't have to do

0:29:11.600 --> 0:29:12.880
<v Speaker 1>anything you want to do. You don't have to go

0:29:12.920 --> 0:29:15.320
<v Speaker 1>on a trip. This is your money that you're spending,

0:29:15.440 --> 0:29:17.680
<v Speaker 1>and you have waited a long time, like, of course

0:29:17.720 --> 0:29:19.520
<v Speaker 1>you want to have an amazing time, and of course

0:29:19.520 --> 0:29:21.160
<v Speaker 1>you want to go wherever you want to go and

0:29:21.200 --> 0:29:24.360
<v Speaker 1>make sure you're having fun. On the other hand, they're

0:29:24.360 --> 0:29:27.200
<v Speaker 1>obviously very good friends, and it's a bit of a

0:29:27.240 --> 0:29:30.560
<v Speaker 1>tricky one because what other reason would you give them

0:29:30.680 --> 0:29:33.360
<v Speaker 1>that you wouldn't want to go with them. Have you

0:29:33.480 --> 0:29:37.240
<v Speaker 1>thought that maybe you guys could go on a trip

0:29:37.320 --> 0:29:38.680
<v Speaker 1>and do whatever you want to do. Maybe you could

0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:40.160
<v Speaker 1>go on your own trip for a little while or

0:29:40.200 --> 0:29:41.920
<v Speaker 1>with another friend, and you could all just meet up

0:29:41.960 --> 0:29:43.960
<v Speaker 1>for a week somewhere. Maybe you could say, I really

0:29:43.960 --> 0:29:46.040
<v Speaker 1>want to go and tack these places off. Let's all

0:29:46.080 --> 0:29:48.720
<v Speaker 1>meet for sale Croatia and do a week together in Croatia.

0:29:48.880 --> 0:29:51.480
<v Speaker 1>And I'm sure if she's your lifelong friend for a

0:29:51.480 --> 0:29:55.240
<v Speaker 1>week or two somewhere, that's so amazing. Where there's more people,

0:29:55.320 --> 0:29:56.959
<v Speaker 1>it's not just you guys, I'm sure you'd have a

0:29:57.000 --> 0:29:59.800
<v Speaker 1>really amazing time. So there's definitely ways around it. And

0:29:59.840 --> 0:30:01.520
<v Speaker 1>I I think when I thought about this, this is

0:30:01.520 --> 0:30:04.160
<v Speaker 1>the way I would approach it. I would say, go

0:30:04.200 --> 0:30:05.640
<v Speaker 1>and do what you want to do. Maybe there's someone

0:30:05.720 --> 0:30:07.920
<v Speaker 1>else you can go with as well, maybe it's another friend,

0:30:07.920 --> 0:30:09.320
<v Speaker 1>and then you guys can all meet up for like

0:30:09.360 --> 0:30:11.960
<v Speaker 1>this one or two weeks in the middle. What do

0:30:11.960 --> 0:30:12.600
<v Speaker 1>you reconcasion?

0:30:12.720 --> 0:30:14.240
<v Speaker 2>I think you and I are both in the very

0:30:14.240 --> 0:30:18.600
<v Speaker 2>fortunate situation where we're both traveled a lot. And one thing.

0:30:18.640 --> 0:30:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I remember this being such a big thing for me.

0:30:21.240 --> 0:30:24.240
<v Speaker 2>I was so specific about who I traveled with, and

0:30:24.280 --> 0:30:28.080
<v Speaker 2>a lot of the time that meant I traveled by myself. Yes, yeah,

0:30:28.120 --> 0:30:31.200
<v Speaker 2>I have never had a friendship end because of traveling together,

0:30:31.240 --> 0:30:34.600
<v Speaker 2>but boy have I heard some stories of friendships crumbling

0:30:34.800 --> 0:30:38.200
<v Speaker 2>under the pressure. The one question I would ask myself

0:30:38.240 --> 0:30:40.600
<v Speaker 2>before I would consider traveling with a friend of mine

0:30:41.080 --> 0:30:44.760
<v Speaker 2>was how do they react when things don't go to plan?

0:30:45.600 --> 0:30:47.680
<v Speaker 2>Because I think that is the best question you can ask,

0:30:47.680 --> 0:30:50.520
<v Speaker 2>because when you're traveling, inevitably things are not going to

0:30:50.520 --> 0:30:52.560
<v Speaker 2>go to plan. You're gonna have missed flights, you're gonna

0:30:52.600 --> 0:30:55.320
<v Speaker 2>have canceled things, you're gonna lose stuff like one of

0:30:55.320 --> 0:30:57.880
<v Speaker 2>you might get sick. Stuff isn't going to work out.

0:30:57.960 --> 0:31:01.800
<v Speaker 2>And I think that it's those situations where the people

0:31:01.840 --> 0:31:05.000
<v Speaker 2>who respond to change and are very flexible and adaptive.

0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:09.600
<v Speaker 2>They shine, but the people who don't, they do not shine,

0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:12.120
<v Speaker 2>and those friendships will come crashing down.

0:31:12.840 --> 0:31:14.440
<v Speaker 1>I think it's like, I think it's important to make

0:31:14.480 --> 0:31:16.560
<v Speaker 1>sure you guys actually want to do the same stuff

0:31:16.600 --> 0:31:18.400
<v Speaker 1>on a trip. Because there are some people that want

0:31:18.400 --> 0:31:21.320
<v Speaker 1>to go traveling and they want to see museums, and

0:31:21.400 --> 0:31:23.680
<v Speaker 1>they want to go on the walking tours of the

0:31:23.720 --> 0:31:25.320
<v Speaker 1>city and they want to do all that kind of thing.

0:31:25.360 --> 0:31:27.280
<v Speaker 1>They want to be really cultural. There are other people

0:31:27.320 --> 0:31:28.920
<v Speaker 1>that want to go because they want to party and

0:31:28.960 --> 0:31:30.600
<v Speaker 1>they want to drink, and they want to go to

0:31:30.680 --> 0:31:34.600
<v Speaker 1>these yacht weeks. They're two very different experiences. I think

0:31:34.640 --> 0:31:36.400
<v Speaker 1>you all need to be on board with the same thing.

0:31:36.440 --> 0:31:40.640
<v Speaker 1>I remember I went traveling with one boyfriend once we

0:31:40.720 --> 0:31:43.800
<v Speaker 1>went to We went traveling too soon, like we didn't

0:31:44.000 --> 0:31:45.920
<v Speaker 1>really know each other yet. I was already going on

0:31:45.960 --> 0:31:48.240
<v Speaker 1>a trip by myself. He was like, why don't I

0:31:48.320 --> 0:31:50.240
<v Speaker 1>just come? This is you guys might have heard me.

0:31:50.320 --> 0:31:51.880
<v Speaker 1>This is the guy I've talked about in the past

0:31:51.920 --> 0:31:55.200
<v Speaker 1>where we broke up overseas in Vegas. I broke up

0:31:55.240 --> 0:31:58.560
<v Speaker 1>with me in Vegas. We never saw each other again anyway.

0:31:58.560 --> 0:32:01.280
<v Speaker 1>It was him, but he was. The reason we broke

0:32:01.400 --> 0:32:03.560
<v Speaker 1>up is because we went on this trip traveling and

0:32:03.800 --> 0:32:07.360
<v Speaker 1>we were so different. We didn't want to do one

0:32:07.560 --> 0:32:09.560
<v Speaker 1>thing that was the same. I wanted to go on

0:32:09.640 --> 0:32:11.840
<v Speaker 1>all these hikes. I wanted to go on adventuring, I

0:32:11.880 --> 0:32:14.280
<v Speaker 1>wanted to go cliff jumping, and I wanted to go

0:32:14.480 --> 0:32:17.160
<v Speaker 1>on yours and everything for me was like really outside

0:32:17.200 --> 0:32:19.600
<v Speaker 1>and really adventurous. And he wanted to just do this

0:32:19.720 --> 0:32:23.560
<v Speaker 1>food tour he'd had booked all these really random cafes.

0:32:23.600 --> 0:32:25.880
<v Speaker 1>He just wanted to eat. He didn't wasn't into adventure,

0:32:25.920 --> 0:32:28.400
<v Speaker 1>he wouldn't go for hikes with me, And I thought,

0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:30.520
<v Speaker 1>why we are so different, We don't want to do

0:32:30.560 --> 0:32:32.520
<v Speaker 1>one thing that's the same. Right now, this isn't going

0:32:32.560 --> 0:32:35.400
<v Speaker 1>to work. And we literally ended because we wanted different

0:32:35.440 --> 0:32:38.600
<v Speaker 1>things traveling. And obviously that wasn't the end of the world,

0:32:38.640 --> 0:32:40.760
<v Speaker 1>but I just knew in that moment we were not

0:32:40.880 --> 0:32:43.000
<v Speaker 1>right for each other. But that's the thing. If you

0:32:43.000 --> 0:32:44.520
<v Speaker 1>don't know, if you don't want to do the same

0:32:44.560 --> 0:32:46.120
<v Speaker 1>thing as the people you're traveling with, it's going to

0:32:46.200 --> 0:32:47.840
<v Speaker 1>be disastrous totally.

0:32:47.880 --> 0:32:50.120
<v Speaker 2>And you can have friends in your life and to

0:32:50.160 --> 0:32:53.080
<v Speaker 2>be completely honest, I'm sorry if any of my good

0:32:53.120 --> 0:32:54.880
<v Speaker 2>friends are listening to this podcast and you know I'm

0:32:54.920 --> 0:32:55.680
<v Speaker 2>talking about you.

0:32:56.080 --> 0:32:59.840
<v Speaker 3>I have some high maintenance friends. I'm not being nasty.

0:33:00.200 --> 0:33:01.760
<v Speaker 2>They are not the ones that I would choose to

0:33:01.800 --> 0:33:05.440
<v Speaker 2>go traveling with because I just I can see that

0:33:05.600 --> 0:33:08.240
<v Speaker 2>being a disaster. And whey the sounds of it, you

0:33:08.440 --> 0:33:10.240
<v Speaker 2>like this person, this person is your friend, and you

0:33:10.360 --> 0:33:11.320
<v Speaker 2>like hanging out with them in.

0:33:11.240 --> 0:33:12.320
<v Speaker 3>Your actual life.

0:33:12.640 --> 0:33:15.040
<v Speaker 2>But it's a really really different situation to be around

0:33:15.080 --> 0:33:18.280
<v Speaker 2>each other twenty four to seven, experiencing different things. It

0:33:18.320 --> 0:33:20.800
<v Speaker 2>sounds like you already know that you don't want to

0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:24.200
<v Speaker 2>travel with this person, and you have your reasons for that.

0:33:24.520 --> 0:33:27.800
<v Speaker 2>So look, I if it were me, I would just

0:33:27.840 --> 0:33:30.120
<v Speaker 2>be saying I would be coming up with some type

0:33:30.120 --> 0:33:34.480
<v Speaker 2>of excuse, just saying, hey, look what you guys want

0:33:34.480 --> 0:33:37.840
<v Speaker 2>to do sounds really great. This one I'm gonna sit out,

0:33:38.040 --> 0:33:38.520
<v Speaker 2>come up.

0:33:38.480 --> 0:33:39.200
<v Speaker 3>With a reason.

0:33:39.360 --> 0:33:42.440
<v Speaker 2>It can be anything. It can be I'm gonna save

0:33:42.560 --> 0:33:44.920
<v Speaker 2>for a different trip. It can be oh, I'm thinking

0:33:44.960 --> 0:33:47.720
<v Speaker 2>about maybe going and doing this instead. Unfortunately, it means

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:49.080
<v Speaker 2>that you are going to miss out on traveling with

0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 2>the one friend that you do want to travel with,

0:33:50.680 --> 0:33:53.880
<v Speaker 2>that you have traveled with before. But in my opinion,

0:33:54.200 --> 0:33:56.360
<v Speaker 2>better to miss out on this trip than to ruin

0:33:56.400 --> 0:33:58.160
<v Speaker 2>a friendship that you've had for most of your life.

0:33:58.200 --> 0:33:58.920
<v Speaker 1>I agree.

0:33:59.120 --> 0:34:00.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm glad agree on that.

0:34:01.760 --> 0:34:04.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, guys, that is it for ask gun Kat. Thank

0:34:04.080 --> 0:34:06.080
<v Speaker 1>you for coming in, Thanks for coming in and joining

0:34:06.160 --> 0:34:08.400
<v Speaker 1>us today. Keisha, We love, absolutely love having you, and

0:34:08.440 --> 0:34:10.480
<v Speaker 1>thanks for bringing you a little confessional. I hope more

0:34:10.520 --> 0:34:13.279
<v Speaker 1>than anything you have thrown your blueberries out. Oh, if

0:34:13.320 --> 0:34:15.640
<v Speaker 1>you haven't yet, they go straight and they've been after this record.

0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:18.000
<v Speaker 2>No, I have not thrown out the punnets just yet.

0:34:18.000 --> 0:34:18.640
<v Speaker 3>But don't worry.

0:34:18.640 --> 0:34:20.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm still in your house, so by the time you

0:34:20.920 --> 0:34:23.360
<v Speaker 2>get out of quarantine and you get back here, there

0:34:23.360 --> 0:34:26.360
<v Speaker 2>will be plenty of multi blueberries left over for you.

0:34:26.560 --> 0:34:28.840
<v Speaker 1>Great, can't wait. That's so nice of me. But speaking

0:34:28.880 --> 0:34:31.600
<v Speaker 1>of speaking of quarantine, before we wrap up, I just

0:34:31.640 --> 0:34:33.800
<v Speaker 1>wanted to a shout out to one of our listeners, Kelly.

0:34:34.000 --> 0:34:36.920
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh, I saw this on your Instagram story.

0:34:37.000 --> 0:34:40.560
<v Speaker 3>This was the most kind, wildly lovely thing that someone

0:34:40.600 --> 0:34:41.240
<v Speaker 3>has done.

0:34:41.440 --> 0:34:43.160
<v Speaker 1>It was like impossible for me to get this past

0:34:43.160 --> 0:34:45.799
<v Speaker 1>start because nowhere does it here, No one delivered it here,

0:34:45.800 --> 0:34:48.600
<v Speaker 1>and I had like a little exponential crisis. But Kelly

0:34:48.840 --> 0:34:51.160
<v Speaker 1>just found out where I was staying. She went and

0:34:51.200 --> 0:34:52.560
<v Speaker 1>got me the past us. She wrote me a note.

0:34:52.560 --> 0:34:54.200
<v Speaker 1>She dropped it to reception and she was like, I

0:34:54.239 --> 0:34:57.120
<v Speaker 1>hope this makes your quarantine better and absolutely diod. So

0:34:57.160 --> 0:34:59.239
<v Speaker 1>that's my little shout out to Kelly. That was really

0:34:59.239 --> 0:35:02.200
<v Speaker 1>really amazing. Guys, give your questions coming in to life

0:35:02.200 --> 0:35:04.640
<v Speaker 1>on cut podcast, Instagram, slide on into the d ms.

0:35:04.760 --> 0:35:07.920
<v Speaker 1>Also keep your accent unfilters and your confessionals and anything

0:35:07.920 --> 0:35:10.080
<v Speaker 1>else you think that we would want to hear.

0:35:10.440 --> 0:35:10.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:35:10.719 --> 0:35:13.120
<v Speaker 2>I actually kind of love so much that it doesn't

0:35:13.120 --> 0:35:14.920
<v Speaker 2>even need to be a segment anymore.

0:35:15.239 --> 0:35:18.600
<v Speaker 3>If something that you think is funny happens, just message us.

0:35:19.239 --> 0:35:20.759
<v Speaker 3>We'll find a space for it.

0:35:21.320 --> 0:35:23.799
<v Speaker 1>If you fuck up, tell us, we'll call the fuck

0:35:23.880 --> 0:35:24.360
<v Speaker 1>up Friday.

0:35:26.800 --> 0:35:28.560
<v Speaker 2>Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell

0:35:28.600 --> 0:35:30.960
<v Speaker 2>you if you tell your cat, tell your neighbor, and

0:35:31.640 --> 0:35:32.239
<v Speaker 2>share the love.

0:35:32.320 --> 0:35:33.040
<v Speaker 3>Is that how it goes?

0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:34.960
<v Speaker 1>You usually do that, but you're a lot better at it.

0:35:35.280 --> 0:35:37.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. Better tell your mom, tell your dad, tell dog,

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:40.800
<v Speaker 1>toy friends, you share the love because we love love