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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: on answers Now Today.

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Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin Coulson.

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Speaker 3: Unfortunately, missus Happy Families, Kylie could not be here today.

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Speaker 3: Stuff happens in families every now and again, so you're

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Speaker 3: stuck with me, which is such a bummer. Because Kylie

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Speaker 3: was desperate for this conversation today, we've finally been able

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Speaker 3: to track her down the winner of season two of

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Speaker 3: Parental Guidance, Kat the Honest Mum, to talk about her

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Speaker 3: experience and everything that's been.

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Speaker 1: Going on since the show was recorded. The best parenting

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Speaker 1: style is Kat honest, Kat, honestly. How are you going?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm utterly disappointed that Kylie's not here to thank me.

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Speaker 1: I know you will.

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Speaker 2: You will do it. Look, I'm doing fantastically and I've

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Speaker 2: actually been I must start this off by saying, I

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Speaker 2: have been really enjoying your podcasts with your lovely wife.

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Speaker 1: Oh thank you.

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Speaker 3: Well, what's it been like doing the recap of the show,

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Speaker 3: Like the show's been on the TV for the last

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Speaker 3: few weeks and Kylie and I are talking about the

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Speaker 3: next day. Well, how has it felt to hear these

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Speaker 3: conversations about you, about Kat from the TV.

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Speaker 2: I find it really like there's two forms that this

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Speaker 2: comes in for me that is still mind blowing for me.

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Speaker 2: One of them is my children will say something to

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Speaker 2: me like, hey, Mom, could you look up this on

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Speaker 2: Google because we're doing some homework, and I'll go to

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Speaker 2: get into the little Google bar, but all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: my face is there, and then ten minutes later, I'm

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Speaker 2: reading about myself and they're sort of waving at me saying, hey, Mom,

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Speaker 2: do remember you were actually doing a task for us.

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Speaker 2: So that's a bit of a that's a bit of

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Speaker 2: a mind blowing experience. But listening to these podcasts, what

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Speaker 2: I love about it is, as you know me to be,

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Speaker 2: I'm always busy and I'm always on the go, and

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Speaker 2: I don't actually have a lot of time to sit

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Speaker 2: down and listen to something that goes for forty five

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Speaker 2: minutes to an hour. Also, being neuro divergent, I don't

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Speaker 2: tend to go back to things. So twenty five to

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Speaker 2: thirty minute podcast review and Your Lovely Wife just really

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Speaker 2: just going over the important stuff, having a great chat

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Speaker 2: about things and not leaving things out is absolutely brilliant.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 3: I'm so glad you said that we're supposed to only

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Speaker 3: go for ten or fifteen minutes, but we just get

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Speaker 3: carried away. We have too much fun, and I'm so I.

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Speaker 2: Think that's and I think that's really important because you know,

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Speaker 2: you're a duo in so many forms. But I love

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Speaker 2: the fact that sometimes it's actually okay to disagree with

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Speaker 2: each other and have different points of view. And I

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Speaker 2: think when you're in the right in the crux of that,

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Speaker 2: you can't just wrap it up, can you.

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Speaker 1: No? No, definitely not, because I've got to prove that

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Speaker 1: I'm right.

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Speaker 2: I mean, of course, of course, and then we're all

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Speaker 2: rooting for her on the other end. But that's okay.

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Speaker 3: You know what everybody always is. I don't know why,

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Speaker 3: but everyone I love Kylie on the podcast. No one

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Speaker 3: ever said anyway. Kat Let's look about you and your

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Speaker 3: experience on parental Guidance and everything associated with that. The

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Speaker 3: first thing that I want to ask you about just

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Speaker 3: the experience for you of being on national TV for

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Speaker 3: three weeks. I know that you've already got a pretty

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Speaker 3: popular social media profile on TikTok. Yeah, but what's it

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Speaker 3: like being that woman on the TV show The Honest Parent.

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Speaker 1: What's that being like?

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Speaker 2: I've really started to like myself more and more in

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Speaker 2: the last few years of my life, and I'm I'm

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Speaker 2: fifty this year, Justin, and I'm really probably since I

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Speaker 2: was about forty four, So started really embracing who I

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Speaker 2: am and being proud of myself and knowing that, you know,

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Speaker 2: you've got this kind of motto that I like to

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Speaker 2: give myself and then roll over on to my children

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Speaker 2: as best I can. But I've got to tell you

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Speaker 2: rewatching that and sitting with my children in the lounge

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Speaker 2: room and some friends. My goodness, did that couch look

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Speaker 2: big when it was just me on it. I looked

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Speaker 2: at that and I thought, wow, okay, you actually really

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Speaker 2: did that. You went in there, guns are blazing, so

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Speaker 2: to speak, ready to rock and roll, and did that

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Speaker 2: all by yourself, whilst other people had the pleasure of

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Speaker 2: having their partners to sit down and digest and reflect

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Speaker 2: and talk about things. At the end of the day. Really,

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Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it was just me Lovecat,

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Speaker 2: so happy for her. She's doing it all alone and

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Speaker 2: she's nailing it. She's not just doing it. She's not

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Speaker 2: going to be a fall part of and it just

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Speaker 2: reconfirmed to myself said, I'm doing okay. I'm doing this job,

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Speaker 2: and I'm doing okay, because you've got to be pretty

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Speaker 2: confident to put yourself out there on national TV.

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Speaker 1: Right. You give me goosebumps? Yeah? I love that.

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Speaker 3: People recognizing you, people recognizing the kids, the kids adjusting

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Speaker 3: their new fame in the school yard.

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Speaker 2: Look, Jesse's very popular with the girls. Let's just say

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Speaker 2: he's Look, I'm six foot justin and he's probably up

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Speaker 2: to my cheeks and he's a blonde bombshell with jimples

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Speaker 2: and blue eyes. So the girls have He can't quite

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Speaker 2: understand it yet and he's not really digesting it the

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Speaker 2: way I expect him to in maybe two or three years,

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Speaker 2: but he's definitely getting a little bit of a bit

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Speaker 2: of acknowledgement more than he used to. Billy's too cool

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Speaker 2: for school and just takes things in her stride. I

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Speaker 2: do get you're that honest mum. And do you know

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Speaker 2: what a lady in the shops actually said to me,

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Speaker 2: We need to make you a T shirt that says stop,

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Speaker 2: because I feel apparently that was my catch phrase throughout

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Speaker 2: the show. So I love that idea because she's you know,

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Speaker 2: I've gotten a lot of positive feedback. Obviously, there's a

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Speaker 2: little bit of negative that comes with positive, but I'm

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Speaker 2: comforted by the positive, and I try not to acknowledge

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Speaker 2: the negative.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's always going to be keyboard warriors who

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Speaker 3: would never do what you did, never stop rightly, So

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Speaker 3: I think that you're right to let them just have

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Speaker 3: their own little corner where they can be whoever they are. Kat,

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Speaker 3: we do have to talk about one of the biggest

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Speaker 3: and most I guess, provocative moments of the entire show,

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Speaker 3: and that was when your little daughter jumped onto a

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Speaker 3: computer program and was approached by a stranger and she

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Speaker 3: literally gave away the farm.

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Speaker 1: She sold every everything for nothing.

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Speaker 3: Okay, she's just revealed her street address.

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Speaker 2: Ah, what's all this. That's not my text, that's other people.

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Speaker 2: So you haven't talked at all? Okay, good, Okay, that's cool.

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Speaker 2: None of you can beat me up any more than

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Speaker 2: I'm beating myself up right now.

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Speaker 1: So no one's beating you up. Everyone feels for you

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Speaker 1: right now.

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Speaker 3: Obviously, you had a really big moment on the show

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Speaker 3: and ended up walking out of the room and just

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Speaker 3: having to compose yourself. Can you talk us through that

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Speaker 3: experience and what's happened in the aftermath.

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Speaker 2: I'm really glad you asked me that there's been a

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Speaker 2: little bit of confusion based around how upset I was

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Speaker 2: with the fact that I mentioned that she'd lied. That

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Speaker 2: was a really big moment in my parenting manual of learning.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't not at all, not even in this lightest

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Speaker 2: angry that Billy had lied. I was so disappointed in

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Speaker 2: myself that I'd come in so hard with me questioning her,

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Speaker 2: that she within herself therefore thought, oh, I can't be honest,

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Speaker 2: I can't tell mum about that. So yes, I do

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Speaker 2: believe that a penny dropped for her a very big

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Speaker 2: valuable lesson, But I also think it was a very

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Speaker 2: big valuable lesson for me because I need to go

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Speaker 2: in softer. Since then, we've talked about this discussion probably

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Speaker 2: every two to three months. We revisit it, which I

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Speaker 2: never would have done before if it wasn't for the show.

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Speaker 2: Jane was just fabulous with her knowledge in that arena

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Speaker 2: as well, So it is a regular thing that parents

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Speaker 2: need to do. I thought I had it all covered

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Speaker 2: in that department, but I really did not. Cyber safety

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Speaker 2: is a big thing that's growing, and it's going to

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Speaker 2: overtake all the knowledge that any Gen x's and boomers

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Speaker 2: and that are going to ever be able to keep

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Speaker 2: up with because we're not growing up with it. So

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Speaker 2: I've really learned a lot about it. It was shocking

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Speaker 2: for me to see that my little daughter wanted to

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Speaker 2: play with someone so badly that she, like you said,

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Speaker 2: sold the farm.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well, we're going to be talking with Detective Superintendent Jane

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Speaker 3: Crossling tomorrow on the podcast about exactly what happened, how

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Speaker 3: it played out, and her advice her parents on that.

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Speaker 3: I'm just so glad that it created so many conversations.

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Speaker 3: So many people saw it and said, oh, we are

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Speaker 3: talking about that in our family now because the kids

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Speaker 3: saw it too.

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Speaker 2: Justin I had many people in the supermarket post office

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Speaker 2: coming up and literally sobbing, sobbing to me and thanking me,

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Speaker 2: so something that Billy thought was quite embarrassing having to revisit.

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Speaker 2: So many people thanked me and told me about conversations

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Speaker 2: that they had then had with their children, things that

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Speaker 2: they had discovered through the conversation from having that with

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Speaker 2: their children. In the next following twenty four to forty

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Speaker 2: eight hours, and that made me so happy, so happy.

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Speaker 3: I want to talk about this issue that you raised

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Speaker 3: just a couple of minutes ago.

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Speaker 1: You're a single mum. You're sitting on that couch, and

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Speaker 1: you're right.

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Speaker 3: I remember in season one when deb a single mom,

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Speaker 3: was sitting on that couch, and she from time to

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Speaker 3: time really did kind of look that a little bit,

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Speaker 3: I guess lonely, and you also had some of those moments.

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Speaker 3: But I love the way that you've reflected back on

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Speaker 3: this acknowledgment.

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Speaker 1: It's a big couch.

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Speaker 3: And even though you're there on your own, you feel

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Speaker 3: like you did fill the couch, You use that space.

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Speaker 1: You did it really well.

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Speaker 3: I want to ask you a question because when it

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Speaker 3: comes to research around single moms, this is the toughest

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Speaker 3: gig that there is. You don't have the same level

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Speaker 3: of support that somebody with a partner or a husband has,

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Speaker 3: like Kylie and I have and all the other parents

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Speaker 3: that are on the show. Doing it on your own

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Speaker 3: brings unique challenges. So tell me a bit about how

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Speaker 3: you make it work, because I know from feedback that

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Speaker 3: we've had that as a single mum, You've kind of

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Speaker 3: inspired a whole lot of parents, a whole lot of

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Speaker 3: single moms and dads to go, Okay, I can live

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Speaker 3: into this.

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Speaker 1: I can make this work, I.

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Speaker 2: Think for me, and I really firmly believe this parenting

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Speaker 2: can be a nightmare for all involved, not just the adults,

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Speaker 2: not just the partnerships, the marriages, the children themselves. But

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Speaker 2: I feel like we've got to actually just hear as

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Speaker 2: well as listen. This is really really important to me.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to ever get to the point where

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Speaker 2: it seems like I like the sound of my own

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Speaker 2: voice to my children. I encourage so many discussions in life,

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Speaker 2: and this can be about anything. There's nothing off the table,

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Speaker 2: which I very much promote throughout the show, and I

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Speaker 2: just feel like that makes life easier for us, because

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Speaker 2: that means that emotions aren't off the table. That means

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Speaker 2: that upsets and you know, obviously child friendly and conversations

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Speaker 2: that need to be navigated around their age. We just

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Speaker 2: discuss things so much that I never believe that parenting

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Speaker 2: has to not be enjoyable. And that's a really big

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Speaker 2: thing for me. I'm really big on and it might

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Speaker 2: be my generation, but I'm really big on continuing a

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Speaker 2: very traditional approach to parenting. Not quite as far as

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Speaker 2: to say be seen and not heard because I said, so,

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Speaker 2: you'll do that because I want you to. Nothing like that.

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Speaker 2: But I'm very big on respect. But I'm also very

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Speaker 2: big on respect both ways. It's never, never just for

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Speaker 2: the children to have respect for the parent. The parent

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Speaker 2: needs to have respect for the children as well. So

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Speaker 2: I think I always highlight my errors as best I

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Speaker 2: can to the kids. They are quite happy to highlight

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Speaker 2: my errors as much as they can to me. So

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Speaker 2: it's a growth. It's a growth, but for everyone throughout

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Speaker 2: the whole duration of their childhood, isn't it. That's just

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Speaker 2: how I see it.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, when you think back to the show, my my

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Speaker 3: total highlight is so immature, but my total highlight was

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Speaker 3: this way.

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Speaker 2: I got it could be could, it could be doue,

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Speaker 2: it could be do.

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Speaker 1: I just cracked me up.

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Speaker 3: But also Buses had a couple of shining moments. When

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Speaker 3: you think about the show itself, what was your favorite

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Speaker 3: thing about the show And it may have been a

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Speaker 3: challenge or it may just be a reflection on the

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Speaker 3: show now that it's over, But what did the show

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Speaker 3: do for you, what was your favorite part of this.

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Speaker 2: I have got a very tiny one liner, and it

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Speaker 2: was really a shift in my whole demeanor about that

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Speaker 2: entire show. And I'm really glad you asked me that

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Speaker 2: because I really want to share it with people. I've

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Speaker 2: had a bit of feedback to say that maybe I

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Speaker 2: am a bit abrupt, maybe I am a little bit

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Speaker 2: hard on the odd occasion, maybe I'm a little bit

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Speaker 2: too direct. And to me, there was this one moment

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Speaker 2: when I looked at Billy and she looked back and

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Speaker 2: she was about to attempt ab sailing and I saw

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Speaker 2: her cry, and I've gone from being you know what,

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Speaker 2: you could probably break your arm, you could drop, you could.

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Speaker 2: But the second I saw her cry, I love that

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Speaker 2: Australia got to see my whole demeanor shift and straight

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Speaker 2: away I just turned that immediately into oh love, and

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Speaker 2: I approached her straight away, and the whole way I

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Speaker 2: parented was seen from a different angle. And I think

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Speaker 2: that that's really important for me to have everyone see

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Speaker 2: that I am a soft and squishy like a marshmallow,

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Speaker 2: and it's only I get really tough when I need

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Speaker 2: to be.

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Speaker 1: Here's how that played out. I love.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you know what, look at me, never ever ever

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Speaker 2: going to make you do something that you wouldn't want

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Speaker 2: to do. Okay, I'm not going to make you do that.

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Speaker 3: Kat Kylie's favorite part, and she wanted me to mention

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Speaker 3: this to you even though she couldn't be here.

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Speaker 1: Was the very last thing that we heard on the show.

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Speaker 2: I think I'm always going to be an honest parent.

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Speaker 2: That just confirms it. I can finally trust my gut

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Speaker 2: instinct and it's telling me that I'm.

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Speaker 1: On the right track.

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Speaker 3: Kay, Can you tell me when did that realization happen?

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Speaker 3: Was it because of the show? Were you already there

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Speaker 3: before the show? Has it happened as a result of

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Speaker 3: the challenges and getting that vote of confidence?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: Where does that come from? And how long does it

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Speaker 3: take to get there? Because so many parents just wish

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Speaker 3: for something like that.

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Speaker 2: It was like a penny drop moment. I've been told

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Speaker 2: so many times by family members, by friends, you are

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Speaker 2: doing such a good job. You are raising such beautiful children.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, your kids are so well mannered, they're

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Speaker 2: so polite. This is a testament to you. Kat I

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Speaker 2: am the most awful person at taking a compliment. I

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Speaker 2: will always back it up with a oh yeah. But

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Speaker 2: and I'm terrible at taking a compliment. I believe that

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Speaker 2: that's very much a gen X thing. We're not really

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Speaker 2: good at it. Great at giving them, great at really

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Speaker 2: highlighting wonderful things to people, but not good at taking them.

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Speaker 2: For me to sit in that room, and I did

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Speaker 2: get very emotional when I heard my name called out.

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Speaker 2: It was like the validation that I had never looked for.

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Speaker 2: I never looked for it, and I just looked at

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Speaker 2: these people in their faces and they were genuinely happy.

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Speaker 2: There was no envy in that room. It was complete

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Speaker 2: and utter happiness. And I just thought in that blitz

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Speaker 2: second and I said it, you guys love me. Thank

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Speaker 2: you for loving me and seeing me. And that's just

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Speaker 2: when I realized I'm actually doing Okay, this is really good.

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Speaker 2: I've been on this couch. My personality is big enough

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Speaker 2: to fit on this couch. I'm doing the role of

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Speaker 2: two parents here and I'm nailing it.

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Speaker 3: I love your enthusiasm, and it was such a great moment.

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Speaker 3: The whole room just lit up there like, yes, this

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Speaker 3: is so great. We kind of need to wrap this up,

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Speaker 3: but just as we do so I'd love to know,

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Speaker 3: Kat overall, how would you rate the experience, whether you

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Speaker 3: whether you emerged as the quote unquote when I mean,

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Speaker 3: we don't really make a big deal about the winning.

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Speaker 3: To be honest, the show is not really about winning

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Speaker 3: and finding the best parenting style. But every now and

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Speaker 3: again there are people who will say, oh, I could

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Speaker 3: never do a show like that, or these people are nuts.

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Speaker 3: And there's obviously some people, like I said earlier, the

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Speaker 3: keyboard warriors, who do have comments that are not productive

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Speaker 3: and helpful. How would how would you overall describe your

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Speaker 3: experience being part of Parental Season two?

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Speaker 2: There is not one iota of regret with this, the

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Speaker 2: cast and the crew, everybody was so accommodating and kind

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Speaker 2: and inviting and wonderful. Like I've made friendships, and I

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Speaker 2: know that we all you know, you hear this sort

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Speaker 2: of thing, all made friendships for life. But I genuinely

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Speaker 2: have made friendships and companionship with some people that I

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Speaker 2: otherwise wouldn't have had the luxury of meeting. My children's

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Speaker 2: confidence has just skyrocketed through that experience, and there's not

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Speaker 2: one bit that I wouldn't do again. In fact, I'm

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Speaker 2: hungry for more justin something else.

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Speaker 1: We need a new honest parent TV show.

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Speaker 2: You know what, I've got an idea for you. Let's

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Speaker 2: get to season four and let's get the winner so

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Speaker 2: called winner from one, two, three, and four, and let's

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Speaker 2: do them in the challenge.

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Speaker 1: Do a reunion show.

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Speaker 2: I love it, a reunion from the winner from each

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Speaker 2: season and then put them on a season and that

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Speaker 2: would be a kodboomba.

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Speaker 1: I think you should go up against Ali Langdon her fan.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Look, honestly, Ali, how beautiful is she?

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Speaker 1: She's great.

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Speaker 2: He cried so many tears for me, she did, and

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Speaker 2: so many people have actually said to me, wow, did

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Speaker 2: you have a really good connection with her? Because she

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Speaker 2: was just so on your team and not as in

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Speaker 2: for me to benefit at the end, but just she

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Speaker 2: was very mindful. You were both beautiful about fact that

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Speaker 2: I was sitting on that nice, big on that big

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Speaker 2: Titanic couch all by myself. But she really has a

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Speaker 2: beautiful heart, such a wonderful heart. But I think I

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Speaker 2: would smash her in the parenting corner corner. I'll arm

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Speaker 2: wrestler to her. I think I'd probably win that.

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Speaker 1: Tanne, I love your confidence.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I just remembered one more question that's just popped

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Speaker 3: into my head. The ab sailing challenge in the in

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Speaker 3: the Grand Finale, when everything was I mean this, this

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Speaker 3: was just such a big challenge. Your kids opted out,

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Speaker 3: and in that moment you said, we can always come

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Speaker 3: back and do it again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Have you taken that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? No, I haven't done that. Opportunity just hasn't arisen

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Speaker 2: for us. But I'm a really big believer in we're

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Speaker 2: not here to traumatize our children, right, We're not here

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Speaker 2: to sit there and, in my eyes, make them do

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Speaker 2: something that they may be not ready to do. But

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Speaker 2: I want that level of you know, this is not

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Speaker 2: the last opportunity in your whole life. Next time we

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Speaker 2: go to do something, it's an option for you to

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Speaker 2: do that. I reckon you're probably going to want to

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Speaker 2: give that a go, because I can tell you right now,

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Speaker 2: justin for months, like my children have been just saying

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Speaker 2: to me, Mom, I really wish we'd done that. Absolutely, Hey,

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Speaker 2: well maybe let's organize the time to do that again. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And now they're keen for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Although some people maybe didn't think that I push enough.

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Speaker 2: I'm dealing with, you know, a sensory overload from one child.

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Speaker 2: I don't wish to harm them in any way. I

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Speaker 2: want them to want it themselves, and you know, maybe

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Speaker 2: I could have gone alongside them. So there's all reflection

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Speaker 2: in every single avenue of that.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 3: And of course you do have kids who have some

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Speaker 3: additional needs as well that some people would often say.

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Speaker 3: They'd be like, oh, hang on, is there or are

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Speaker 3: there No, there are all neurotypical kids.

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Speaker 1: We're like, no, We've got a good level of diversity

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Speaker 1: in there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And if I may say, Jesse is a really

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Speaker 2: mixed bag, and I'm probably not going to use the

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Speaker 2: language that modern day people will use, but he is

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Speaker 2: a mixed bag full of goodies, and we'll call it

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Speaker 2: of different things on the spectrum, and it's quite quite

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Speaker 2: an elite little package actually. But he had a lot

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Speaker 2: to overcome with those things. And as a parent, we

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Speaker 2: know those children better than anybody, and we know when

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Speaker 2: it's going to go really wobbly or where it can

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Speaker 2: and create trauma where they'll never want to do that again.

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Speaker 2: So I really had to look at what was going

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Speaker 2: on there and know my children and know that that

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Speaker 2: wasn't the day for it well.

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Speaker 3: You brought a bag of goodies to put a good

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Speaker 3: season two Cats, The Honest Parent. It was so good

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Speaker 3: to be able to chat with you and wonderful to

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Speaker 3: be able to see on the Telly. Really wish you

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Speaker 3: luck with whatever comes next.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so very much. It's been an absolute pleasure.

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Speaker 2: And please get Kylie back on because I really miss it.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's always about Ki. That's fine. Thanks Kat,

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Speaker 1: appreciate your honesty again, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: Justin.

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Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from

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Speaker 3: Bridge Media.

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Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

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Speaker 3: For more about making your family happier, please visit happyfamilies

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Speaker 3: dot com or check out our Facebook page Doctor Justin

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Speaker 3: Colson's Happy Families