Speaker 1: Bring me a good old Britney special. What's that? Actually?
Speaker 1: What's a Britney special? Just a good solid love? I
Speaker 1: mean you know that's gonna come alrighty, Hi guys, and
Speaker 1: welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. Sorry that
Speaker 1: we couldn't make it last week. Have we missed out?
Speaker 1: Askar and cut special. I'm gonna straight up blame Laura. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well yeah, okay, I'm actually I'm gonna take that back.
Speaker 1: I was mean, I am gonna blame Laura. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: good taking it back there, fort that was solid. No,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna blame Laura. Let me finish my sentence. Gonna
Speaker 1: blame Laura. But I'm not gonna pretend I wasn't slightly
Speaker 1: relieved because I was the most I have ever been.
Speaker 1: And when you pulled the pin, I was like, it's okay, Han,
Speaker 1: we'll make it work. And I was like, hallelujah. You
Speaker 1: were like, oh that's yeah. Yeah, you have been sick.
Speaker 1: We shouldn't do it. Don't push yourself, really, you just
Speaker 1: take care of yourself, babe. Now I understand where it
Speaker 1: really came from. Honestly, I mean I would have done
Speaker 1: it obviously, because I'm a team player, but I was
Speaker 1: relieved for sure. Well, guys, you know that we hate
Speaker 1: missing an episode, but sometimes life gets in the way,
Speaker 1: which is why we're bringing you a cracker episode today.
Speaker 1: Dun dun du. But you were crook right. You had
Speaker 1: the flu? Yes, I complained about it on the last episode,
Speaker 1: or complained about it on this episode. I had a
Speaker 1: flu or a cold or something that was just hanging around. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it just wasn't a fun week. And then on the
Speaker 1: weekend it was Marley's birthday. Yes, she's one, which I'm
Speaker 1: mind won't. This has been the longest and also the
Speaker 1: shortest year of my entire life. It's wild to me
Speaker 1: that she's won. But also I feel like I haven't
Speaker 1: slept for an entire year. I don't think you. I
Speaker 1: just can't believe because I remember when we started the podcast,
Speaker 1: she was in your belly and we were talking about, oh,
Speaker 1: we only have a few months before she pops, And
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's her first birthday, she's going
Speaker 1: off to college, she's got a boyfriend on them The
Speaker 1: other day, it was really awkward, did you too, I
Speaker 1: did see her like cuddling up to another little toddler. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a cousin, my cousin oh on Instagram. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was her cousin. I actually used to have like
Speaker 1: a love affair with my cousin when I was one,
Speaker 1: two three. We were I'm so glad that you like
Speaker 1: put in there the age. Oh, it was a really
Speaker 1: great love affair with my cousin when I was thirteen,
Speaker 1: and that was very formative. But you watched them, You
Speaker 1: watch them. Cut that sentence and be a headline sound
Speaker 1: by Brittany has awkward relationship with cousins, Thank you Daily Mail. No,
Speaker 1: but we he was my cousins and we were with
Speaker 1: the same age. We were very, very very little, but
Speaker 1: we just loved each other. We used to hold hands
Speaker 1: and like leaning, like you know when you're a meter
Speaker 1: of part, used to leave in and like peck on
Speaker 1: the lips and stuff. We have photos like that. I'm like, MoMA,
Speaker 1: why did you? Why did you allow this to happen?
Speaker 1: Like this is like this is added to my adult
Speaker 1: trauma and I'm still living through. This is the reason
Speaker 1: why a boy friend I've been in love with my cousin.
Speaker 1: Sh It's getting really weird really quick. On this podcast,
Speaker 1: I can guarantee so many of you listening right now
Speaker 1: have loved what you've loved a cousin or something for sure.
Speaker 1: That's fine because it's innocent. Oh wow, can only go
Speaker 1: up from here? Guys? What else have you done? Well? Like,
Speaker 1: I're gonna sit on Marley's birthday for a little while
Speaker 1: because it was like it was a really big milestone,
Speaker 1: but I am more of a milestone for me. Like,
Speaker 1: She's definitely not going to remember her birthday, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is the year. This is the day that my
Speaker 1: entire life changed and will never ever go back to
Speaker 1: what it was. Well, first birthdays they're more for the parents,
Speaker 1: aren't they. They're more for the adults to celebrate, do
Speaker 1: you think, Yeah, it's like I am celebrating the fact
Speaker 1: that I am actually a responsible adult and kept a
Speaker 1: whole other human alive for an entire year. Like that
Speaker 1: shit is worth celebrating. Yeah, right, with many Rose's Thank
Speaker 1: god Nana was there to be the responsible adult for
Speaker 1: the day. How is your weekend? Oh my, I'm just
Speaker 1: going to straight up complain. I am so exhausted. I
Speaker 1: have had the biggest work week of my entire life.
Speaker 1: I went to work at six am and I came
Speaker 1: home two days later and it's it's just been nuts.
Speaker 1: My saving grace is that I was doing it with
Speaker 1: my sister. We were on the same shifts together. But
Speaker 1: the hospital has been mental and I just haven't felt
Speaker 1: this fatigued in a really long time. And I'm not
Speaker 1: a complainer, guys. I'm always a hard worker. That's fine,
Speaker 1: but this is the next level. I just went to sleep.
Speaker 1: I sat on my bed right to meet Laura. I
Speaker 1: sat on my bed. I don't remember closing my eyes.
Speaker 1: It was twenty minutes. I was drawling. I was pasted
Speaker 1: out cold. Then I get a message from Laura being like, hey, babes,
Speaker 1: like you coming up And I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'd like crazy, that's my face, wiped the drawl off,
Speaker 1: ran up here. But other than that, like that's literally
Speaker 1: what I did. What didn't help is before I knew
Speaker 1: these mannic shifts were coming, a friend of mine was like,
Speaker 1: come and meet me for a drink. I was like, fine,
Speaker 1: but I have the biggest week of my life ahead.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go for one drink and I'm going
Speaker 1: to be home early. That went to about midnight. I
Speaker 1: got home at midnight. I'm in my new apartment. I'm
Speaker 1: in my bathroom with the window closed, and I hear
Speaker 1: someone say, Brittany, Now this is frosted glass. You can't
Speaker 1: see into my window. Wait, you're in the bathroom. I'm
Speaker 1: in my bathroom. Are you in the shower? No, I'm
Speaker 1: in the mirror about to take my makeup off. I'm
Speaker 1: not in the mirror. I'm looking in the mirror next
Speaker 1: to the window, windows, frosted glass, the lights on, and
Speaker 1: I hear this Brittany. I was like, what lift the window.
Speaker 1: I pulled my head out and there's a full blown
Speaker 1: party next door and I'm looking at these people with
Speaker 1: the lights in my eyes so I can't identify them.
Speaker 1: And I was like, did you just call my name?
Speaker 1: And they're like, I knows your name, Brittany, and I
Speaker 1: was like yeah. They're like, oh, get fucked. And then
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, no, like you know that because you
Speaker 1: just said my name. And they're like, we actually didn't.
Speaker 1: We just saw a shadow. We just picked it. We
Speaker 1: literally picked a name out of thin air. They swear
Speaker 1: to God that they just picked a random name and
Speaker 1: said Brittany. And I was like, oh, well that's weird.
Speaker 1: That's my name, and they're like, you want to come over?
Speaker 1: And I was like sure, So I went back downstairs
Speaker 1: and just went over to his party. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll meet you out the front. Because I'm really big
Speaker 1: on being like sometimes the best things come from saying yes. Okay.
Speaker 1: That was a huge per se. So I walked down
Speaker 1: to this party. Now, because they're bright party lights in
Speaker 1: my eyes, I couldn't see who I was talking to.
Speaker 1: But there were a bunch that were like seven guys
Speaker 1: a few chicks, and I was like, what's the worst
Speaker 1: that could happen. I'll go to this party or make
Speaker 1: some new friends. This is the middle of the night
Speaker 1: as well, yes, correct midnight? Okay. Then I get down
Speaker 1: to the party and the guy that meets me is me.
Speaker 1: I couldn't. He had a lot of facial hair, he
Speaker 1: was a bit drunk, he had a hat on. I
Speaker 1: couldn't really identify him or his age. Brittany ends up
Speaker 1: a swingers party. No, that would have been like leave
Speaker 1: your keys in the bowl right here and take your
Speaker 1: pants off. Her swingers party would have been better. I
Speaker 1: walked in and it is packed. This is a proper party.
Speaker 1: They've got a DJ, there's probably sixty seventy people in
Speaker 1: this huge house, and I'm like, this could be fun.
Speaker 1: Get down the back and he's like, do you want
Speaker 1: to drink? I was like, that'd be great. I'm standing
Speaker 1: there in like a turtleneck. We all know I love turtlenecks.
Speaker 1: I'm standing there in like a cashmere turtleneck. Oh my
Speaker 1: gold jewelry. I had the most beautiful, expensive trench coat on.
Speaker 1: He goes, what are you doing? Take your coat off?
Speaker 1: And I'm like before I came in the house. He's like,
Speaker 1: take you caut of. I'm like, it's fine. I like
Speaker 1: my coat. He's like, I'm gonna get you a drink.
Speaker 1: And I start to look around the party. I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I reckon the oldest person here. Oldest
Speaker 1: was twenty one oldest, so I was like, these people
Speaker 1: had to have been seventeen, eighteen nineteen. I was like,
Speaker 1: I look like the mum that's come to check in
Speaker 1: on the kids. I was like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: need to get out of here. I was like, but
Speaker 1: he's getting me a drink, so I'll just wait. He comes,
Speaker 1: he's like he pops his head back around the corner.
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, Babes is a beer fine, and I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: just get me something quickly because I was just standing
Speaker 1: there awkward. I was like, A bee's fine. I'm surprised
Speaker 1: he didn't come out with like a cocksacking cowboy, like
Speaker 1: a Buddy smurt Off black. He comes back and he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're actually all out of everything, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, it's probably time for me to go anywhere.
Speaker 1: I walked to the front door. He walked behind me,
Speaker 1: tried to kiss me. I was like, God, this could
Speaker 1: not get any worse. I just like ran, and now
Speaker 1: they know where I live and that's the end of
Speaker 1: my story. So anyway, sometimes saying yes he'sn't the best idea. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know I was going to tell that
Speaker 1: story twenty These are the crazy things that happened when
Speaker 1: you're single and you live alone. And that thing never
Speaker 1: gonna happen to me as far as I know. You'll
Speaker 1: be the person that pokes your head out and he's like,
Speaker 1: can you turn that deck? I thought like, I will
Speaker 1: call the fucking police if you don't turn that music off. Honest,
Speaker 1: stop calling for Brittany. I'm very angry at her right
Speaker 1: now and then do you know something even funnier. Well,
Speaker 1: it's not funnier, it's weird. Like I woke up in
Speaker 1: the morning, I had to go to work at five am.
Speaker 1: I woke up and I was so mad. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe this party is still going. I could
Speaker 1: hear the music still blaring. I was like, this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I walk out into my living room and it was me.
Speaker 1: The TV had turned itself on. I'm not kidding. I
Speaker 1: think I have a ghost. The TV turned itself on,
Speaker 1: put it onto an ABC music channel, and at full
Speaker 1: ball was blaring music and it had gone all night.
Speaker 1: So now my neighbors think I'm a party animal. I
Speaker 1: thought it was the next door neighbors the whole time.
Speaker 1: I don't think you have a ghost. I think that
Speaker 1: you probably have a ruined TV from the time that
Speaker 1: you flattered your apartment. But live and learn, baby, live
Speaker 1: and learn. Oh it sounds like you for someone who's
Speaker 1: worked so oh March this week, you have actually had
Speaker 1: a very very eventful weekend. Yeah. Anyway, other than that, Oh, oh,
Speaker 1: I will tell you something. Oh dear God, it keeps coming.
Speaker 1: Oh God, make it stop. Okay, so like, this really
Speaker 1: shit thing happened. I went. I was feeling a bit like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna live on the edge, you know, parked in
Speaker 1: a one hour park anywhere in Sydney, I feel like
Speaker 1: that's living on the edge. I had to go do
Speaker 1: some errands. I was walking back to my car. I
Speaker 1: knew I had been about one hour and six six
Speaker 1: point five minutes. Oh really, I was with the devil.
Speaker 1: I was dancing. I was like, oh my god, please
Speaker 1: don't let me have a fine walked up to my car.
Speaker 1: I could see it a little flap. I could see
Speaker 1: it flapping in the wind. I was like, kill me,
Speaker 1: walk up to it, pick it up two hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty dollars for this six minutes over and I was
Speaker 1: beside myself. I was like, I just you know, when
Speaker 1: you're just so defeated. I was like, I just can't anymore.
Speaker 1: Went to unlock my car to get in. It wasn't
Speaker 1: my car. What was I dig it? I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like big trope and the
Speaker 1: door didn't open, and I had this. I looked back
Speaker 1: down the ticket, looked at the red role on the car,
Speaker 1: looked at the car, and I was like, hellelujah, it's
Speaker 1: not my car. I put this poor person's ticket on
Speaker 1: and ran two cars up to my car that I
Speaker 1: had no ticket. I was really on a roller coaster
Speaker 1: with you. Then. Anyway, I got my emotions. There were
Speaker 1: a lot of emotions in a really short period of time.
Speaker 1: I didn't really know what to do with it. But
Speaker 1: I'm kind of jealous that you can have such a
Speaker 1: busy week and yet still so many things happened to you.
Speaker 1: The most exciting thing that I've done in the last
Speaker 1: week is that Matt and I opened a joint bank account.
Speaker 1: Our first one was that after our episode. Yes, congratulations,
Speaker 1: thank you guys, we're fully fledged adults. Now we parent
Speaker 1: a child and we have a joint bank account. So
Speaker 1: would you say you're official now? I would say that
Speaker 1: we are a proper couple. You know, a child wasn't enough,
Speaker 1: but having a joint bank account has really solidified our relationship.
Speaker 1: But now you can see what each other buy. That's
Speaker 1: a dangerous thing. Oh no, no, no, We're still going
Speaker 1: to get our wages into our own bank account. Don't
Speaker 1: be crazy before we get into accidentally unfiltered. Do you
Speaker 1: want to tell the people what The episode is about,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, have you ever been in that situation where
Speaker 1: you are smitten? All you can think about is this person.
Speaker 1: All you want to do is see them and speak
Speaker 1: to them and make out with them. And when you're
Speaker 1: with them, you just want to roll all over them
Speaker 1: and touch them and be affectionate and do everything with them.
Speaker 1: When you're not with them, you're messaging them, you're sending
Speaker 1: them carry your pigeons, you're talking to them constantly. Then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you find them repulsive. That's a
Speaker 1: real bait and switch, there wasn't it. Well that Ladies
Speaker 1: and Gentlemen has a really technical name, and it's called
Speaker 1: the ick. Yes, and that's what we're going to talk
Speaker 1: about today, the ick. But before we get into the ick,
Speaker 1: we are going to give you our favorite part of
Speaker 1: the episode. And you know what that is, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Speaker 1: The one gentleman who listens to this podcast, I think
Speaker 1: is twelve percent. Wait, have you actually looked at the
Speaker 1: figures of our podcasts or is this just a brittany guest? No,
Speaker 1: it is. You know, Hey, I'm on the back end.
Speaker 1: I'm the business end. Mate. We we got men, all right? Good?
Speaker 1: So and men would listen to this podcast to try
Speaker 1: and figure out what women want. Well they should. If
Speaker 1: they're not there, go tell your boyfriends. Actually just on this.
Speaker 1: We got a message today which was from somebody who
Speaker 1: has been listening to the episodes, and she she wrote
Speaker 1: it in as an accidentally unfiltered but it was more
Speaker 1: about her fiance, and she says, today I discovered that
Speaker 1: my fiance didn't know that women have two holes down there,
Speaker 1: like he thought that we peed and he uses the
Speaker 1: same holes. How many men he thought you peed and
Speaker 1: had sex and did everything? Everything was just one hole.
Speaker 1: It's a sexy pee baby making hole of magic. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. How many men do you think are walking
Speaker 1: around on planet Earth who don't realize that women have
Speaker 1: two holes? Three holes? I actually mate one for the
Speaker 1: number two's I thank god. I actually think more men
Speaker 1: than not would think that. I think more men would
Speaker 1: think there's that one hole. I have a feeling Matt
Speaker 1: thought this when we first got together, because I remember
Speaker 1: saying something to him and him looking confused but being like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know you're talking, no idea. Should we get him
Speaker 1: in just to ask him? Yeah, I'm Matt, okay, coming
Speaker 1: to my Matthew Johnson, thank you for this cameo. I've
Speaker 1: just I've just pulled him out from the lounge room
Speaker 1: into the bedroom. Matthew Johnson, how many holes do you
Speaker 1: think a woman has? Twelve? No? Really how many? Some
Speaker 1: have twelve?
Speaker 2: Others have ten?
Speaker 1: How many holes I used to between your legs? We're
Speaker 1: talking about specific are you used to?
Speaker 2: I used to think it was two.
Speaker 1: I think it was when we got together. You still
Speaker 1: want it was two?
Speaker 2: I when did we have that conversation?
Speaker 1: I have this very vivid memory of talking about it
Speaker 1: and you at one point being like yeah, no, like
Speaker 1: I knew that you did.
Speaker 2: For a lot of guys, it's a big mystery. I
Speaker 2: remember in high school guys sitting there going how many
Speaker 2: did you reckon?
Speaker 1: I reckon seven?
Speaker 2: How made you reckon? There's gotta be like one?
Speaker 1: But don't you do sex ed like you literally do
Speaker 1: a whole sex end class where you look at vaginas
Speaker 1: wouldn't you want to look at the vagina? And like,
Speaker 1: don't you all talk about you? Don't you talk amongst
Speaker 1: your friends as teenage boys being like I want to
Speaker 1: make sure I'm really good at sex and I know
Speaker 1: what to do when the moment happens, so you learn
Speaker 1: about it or do you just wing it?
Speaker 2: I think we had sex ed. I think it was
Speaker 2: half an hour of learning what a condom was, and
Speaker 2: that was it. There was nothing else. All my guy
Speaker 2: mates in high school, we just had no idea.
Speaker 1: Like, let's let's give you the benefit out and say
Speaker 1: that you already knew when we got into a relationship.
Speaker 1: At what age do you think you were when you
Speaker 1: realize that I don't piss out of my survex. When
Speaker 1: did you realize that the whole hidden He still doesn't
Speaker 1: know whether I had. I have no idea where it is.
Speaker 2: It's there somewhere, God knows.
Speaker 1: All right, ladies, for everyone who's listening to this, please
Speaker 1: go home and ask your men or the man closest
Speaker 1: to you, maybe it's your dad. Don't ask your dad.
Speaker 1: You have to ask them how many holes do they
Speaker 1: think a woman has? Because I don't think that this
Speaker 1: listener is alone. I think that there are a lot
Speaker 1: of men out there who have absolutely no clues.
Speaker 2: Now I think I was. I can't say an age
Speaker 2: otherwise it'll end.
Speaker 1: Up in daily mail.
Speaker 2: Okay, what question for you then? About the male anatomy
Speaker 2: on average, how many sperm will be in a guy's ejaculation.
Speaker 1: Two and twenty one thousands.
Speaker 2: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: You'll let me google it. Holy shit, holy shit, we
Speaker 1: just googled it.
Speaker 2: Googled it, and the answer is, on average, each time
Speaker 2: a man ejaculates, he releases nearly one hundred million sperm.
Speaker 1: Wow, one hundred million. Thank you, doctor Google. That's all
Speaker 1: a little swimmers. Anyways, Can I thank you for cameo? Matt?
Speaker 1: Please go back to life dinner now? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, great, good chat, big shout outs. All the life
Speaker 2: is out there. I hope you're having a great day.
Speaker 2: I look forward to chatting you guys next time.
Speaker 1: All right, bye. Maybe we should do an episode where
Speaker 1: we get questions written in and from a man's perspective,
Speaker 1: Matt can answer them. We'll interview him one day properly.
Speaker 1: Because that was really rogue. Okay, well, look that idea
Speaker 1: sounds great, But considering he submitted he didn't know how
Speaker 1: many holes woman has, I don't know how great Math's
Speaker 1: advice is going to be. Like, we're not saying that
Speaker 1: you have to take his advice. I think it'd be
Speaker 1: nice to hear things from man's perspective, So then we
Speaker 1: can tell him how wrong he is. I think so too,
Speaker 1: which is how we run our relationship. Anyway, we can
Speaker 1: have a panel of men who don't know what they're
Speaker 1: talking about. Actually one, don't we have two men, because
Speaker 1: that way they might have different opinions. All right, let's
Speaker 1: go to Accidentally Unfiltered. That was a rogue section. So
Speaker 1: Accidentally Unfiltered. You know what this is. It is our
Speaker 1: favorite section of the podcast. It is when you write
Speaker 1: in your most embarrassing stories and we all laugh at
Speaker 1: you anonymously, of course, but honestly we love it so
Speaker 1: so much. We feel for you in your embarrassment, but
Speaker 1: also we're here for you with the lulls. I've been
Speaker 1: coming in hard and fast than the last week or two,
Speaker 1: haven't they. Well last week we kind of put out
Speaker 1: there that we were thinking about doing a whole Accidentally
Speaker 1: Unfiltered episode and it was received gloriously. You all want one,
Speaker 1: We will put one together. It's in the works, all right,
Speaker 1: hit me with number one. Ahem. Okay, I love this
Speaker 1: from multitude of reasons. She starts by saying, I make
Speaker 1: my boyfriend listen when we're in the car, and he
Speaker 1: laughs along and nods at your great advice too. He
Speaker 1: actually really loves the show. I have an accidentally unfiltered
Speaker 1: embarrassing moment for you, But I do have to admit
Speaker 1: before I tell you, it took me a really long
Speaker 1: time before I realized that all these stories weren't Britney's stories.
Speaker 1: She thought every accent, she must have thought I was
Speaker 1: a fuck god. She thought every single accidentally unfiltered was
Speaker 1: from me. Why would you think that they're all from you?
Speaker 1: When I tell half of them as, I'm so perplexed,
Speaker 1: Like I know, guys, we've gone into a lot of
Speaker 1: crazy shit in our lives. But I can tell you
Speaker 1: that this is not all our crazy shit. Can you
Speaker 1: imagine if they were all? I wonder? I've been single
Speaker 1: ten years? Had some faith in me? Girl? Okay, So
Speaker 1: I finally got out to grab a coffee this morning,
Speaker 1: and as I was waiting, I noticed that the bristo
Speaker 1: was really cute. I'm in a happy relationship, but you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not blind. It's a really small cafe, so he
Speaker 1: took my order and then he said, hey, before you go,
Speaker 1: can I grab your number? I laughed, and I was
Speaker 1: so flattered, and I said, look, I'm really flattered, and
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend and I'm really
Speaker 1: happy with him. But it's really sweet. Thank you. He
Speaker 1: laughed and replied, Oh no, it's for the coronavirus tracking,
Speaker 1: so we can contact you with someone else here. I
Speaker 1: was so embarrassed. I apologized and walked outside to wait
Speaker 1: for the coffee there. But then I ended up in
Speaker 1: my car all of a sudden, I drove home without
Speaker 1: my coffee. Now I can never go back. She didn't
Speaker 1: even take a coffee, that she has a boyfriend, and
Speaker 1: she was still so embarrassed. Like, just I actually think
Speaker 1: that's funny. Imagine imagine that happening. Imagine you'd be like,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, I've got a boyfriend. He's like, what, dude,
Speaker 1: it's just for like a reservation. Like imagine, just like,
Speaker 1: oh god, I love that so much. Do you know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna I'm gonna call it on this guy's ass.
Speaker 1: I reckon he maybe had asked for your number, and
Speaker 1: then that was his reaction to being rejected. Try and
Speaker 1: think of it that way. That's super optimistic. But every place,
Speaker 1: like every cafe and restaurant i've been to recently, I've
Speaker 1: had to write my number down, So I think I
Speaker 1: think it was just possibility there that this was misinterpreted,
Speaker 1: and actually he thought you're a babe, and he's really
Speaker 1: embarrassed and he's running around with his tail between his legs,
Speaker 1: and you know what, girlfriend, you've still got it, even
Speaker 1: though you've got a boyfriend, You've still got it. It's
Speaker 1: actually one of my favorite ones we've had. All right, Okay,
Speaker 1: so accidentally unfiltered number two. A few years ago, I
Speaker 1: went on a family holiday with my parents to visit
Speaker 1: my sister. One night, when I was out with my sister,
Speaker 1: she took me to a gathering to meet some of
Speaker 1: her friends. This is where I met a hot guy
Speaker 1: and we headed off. With my sister's blessing, we agreed
Speaker 1: to go on a date the following night. We watched
Speaker 1: a movie at his and then we ended up sleeping together.
Speaker 1: After we finished having sex, he walked outside, button naked
Speaker 1: and sat on the veranda stairs to have a smoke.
Speaker 1: Still naked. I walked out and went to sit down
Speaker 1: next to him, but because it was dark, I didn't
Speaker 1: realize that where I was going to sit wasn't actually
Speaker 1: the stairs at the edge of the verandah. I fell
Speaker 1: two meters to the concrete below onto a gas bottle.
Speaker 1: I lay there, stark naked, bleeding from my back and
Speaker 1: my arm, while the poor guy was screaming, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is actually like dangerous. Yeah it was, but it's
Speaker 1: kind of funny. Did she die? The guy is screaming
Speaker 1: naked and comes raising down the stairs thinking his one
Speaker 1: night stand is dead and she's naked. They're both dude.
Speaker 1: After I managed to get my breath back, I asked
Speaker 1: my clothes and for him to drive me back to
Speaker 1: the hotel I was staying at. We've literally never spoken.
Speaker 1: I'm actually concerned for the girl. I'm glad that she's
Speaker 1: well enough to tell the tale. You can laugh at
Speaker 1: herself and her own misfortune. Naked onto your back onto
Speaker 1: a gas bottle, it could have exploded. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: just imagine doing it now, imagine doing a cloth. Oh guys,
Speaker 1: Maya are so brilliant. Thank you for running them in.
Speaker 1: Please keep them coming. And I feel like every week
Speaker 1: we read one, it triggers something in someone. Someone's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that reminded me of mine. And you
Speaker 1: write it in and that's what we want. Keep them
Speaker 1: coming so we can keep bringing you the lull. First,
Speaker 1: beautiful Brianny beautifully said, thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Now let's get into the episode. Okay, So guys, this
Speaker 1: episode we're talking about the ick. And it's that feeling
Speaker 1: that I think most of you have had at some
Speaker 1: point in your life. If you haven't had it yet,
Speaker 1: you're really lucky. And I hope you don't get it.
Speaker 1: I have had it, Laura, I know you've had it.
Speaker 1: It is just that feeling that hits you like a
Speaker 1: ton of bricks when you think you're in love and
Speaker 1: last and you're in this amazing relationship and you can't
Speaker 1: get enough of each other and then one day, Beam,
Speaker 1: you just can't stand them anymore. I reckon so many
Speaker 1: people have gone through this and that this is such
Speaker 1: a relatable topic. But I just don't reckon that many
Speaker 1: people know the name of it, or like haven't haven't
Speaker 1: given it a title before, really technical name. But this
Speaker 1: really technical name which has been coined is the ick.
Speaker 1: And because we're being so incredibly technical with this name
Speaker 1: and everything, I want to read you the definition of
Speaker 1: the ick from somewhere, which is a very reliable source
Speaker 1: where we get a lot of our information from, and
Speaker 1: that is the Urban Dictionary. Oh, I thought you're gonna
Speaker 1: say Daily Mail. You could be on the crips with
Speaker 1: a guy or girl. Everything seems to be going fine,
Speaker 1: you think you like them, but then you suddenly catch
Speaker 1: the ick. From then on, you can't look at the
Speaker 1: person in the same way. You just progressively get more
Speaker 1: and more turned off by them, weirdly, and maybe for
Speaker 1: no reason in particular, just grossed out by them. You'll
Speaker 1: cringe at the thought of you and them together. Nothing
Speaker 1: will be the same. You won't be able to do
Speaker 1: it any longer, and eventually you're gonna have to cut
Speaker 1: it off. This originated well they say it originated from
Speaker 1: Love Island, courtesy of Olivia from Love Island, and I'm
Speaker 1: guessing this is the American Love Island, so we haven't
Speaker 1: really got access to it. But there was also an
Speaker 1: episode in Friends that was the original Friends. There you go. Well,
Speaker 1: it was when Monicaarden of you guys. I mean, we
Speaker 1: all know that Laura prefers Seinfeld because she's a psychopath. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we all know that. I've not actually seen the episode,
Speaker 1: and I was just going off the articles I've read,
Speaker 1: so I was just kind of running in the wind there, guys.
Speaker 1: You guys remember when Monica was like twenty five and
Speaker 1: she was dating a guy that was younger. He said
Speaker 1: he was like nineteen or twenty or something, so she
Speaker 1: lied since she was twenty two. She was super into
Speaker 1: it that were hooking up, and then all of a
Speaker 1: sudden he told her he was only seventeen. He was underage.
Speaker 1: And that is when she says she has the egg.
Speaker 1: And this was a long, long, long, long time ago,
Speaker 1: and that is actually where it originated, but it was
Speaker 1: thrust back into our faces from Love Island. It's a
Speaker 1: feeling and a sensation that we've always known, but we've
Speaker 1: never ever been able to label it. So all it's
Speaker 1: done now is give it that label. Brittany, tell me
Speaker 1: a time when you've caught the ick. Oh, I had
Speaker 1: the ick so bad. It's only ever happened once, And
Speaker 1: I actually feel bad for saying it, Like I still
Speaker 1: feel bad to this day because this person was really great,
Speaker 1: really nice, did nothing wrong, really, I mean, we just
Speaker 1: didn't get along. But what happened was I was dating
Speaker 1: this guy, but I wasn't dating him for very long
Speaker 1: we were pretty new. We were long distance, so we
Speaker 1: didn't know each other that well, but that means the
Speaker 1: infatuation was it was easy and effortless because we spoke
Speaker 1: on the phone, we send our messages every few weeks.
Speaker 1: Would have a great weekend in Sydney. I also think
Speaker 1: sometimes when you're doing that sort of long distance, it
Speaker 1: almost amplifies and intensifies the relationship a little bit, where
Speaker 1: like they become even more desirable because you're not being
Speaker 1: exposed to them all the time. So it's like that
Speaker 1: distance makes the heart grow fonder kind of thing exactly.
Speaker 1: So I had decided to go on a holiday. I'd
Speaker 1: booked a trip from and just by myself, and he says, well,
Speaker 1: you can't go by yourself, like why don't I come?
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, no, I can go by myself,
Speaker 1: like that was the plan until I met you type thing.
Speaker 1: He's like, look I can get leave, I'll come, And
Speaker 1: I thought, okay, this could actually be fun. We booked
Speaker 1: a trip we went to America, which was not on
Speaker 1: my list. I went there for him because he really
Speaker 1: wanted to go. We were going for five weeks. Oh god,
Speaker 1: three days in and I just woke up and I
Speaker 1: had the eke so bad that I couldn't even look
Speaker 1: at him, and I can't even explain it. We'd had
Speaker 1: an argument the night before and then I just could
Speaker 1: not even look at him. I was like, I can
Speaker 1: never touch you again. And I had no choice. It
Speaker 1: was so severe that I couldn't even try and ride
Speaker 1: it out for the holiday, Like I couldn't even wait
Speaker 1: another day. So not a day we're in Vegas. It's
Speaker 1: so dramatic. I'm done. I have to run away from
Speaker 1: this man. No, that's what I did. The last thing
Speaker 1: you want to do is be on a holiday with
Speaker 1: someone and get to the UK. So I say to him,
Speaker 1: I can't do this, and I mean, we're not years
Speaker 1: down the track. It was early days. I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: like this isn't working for me. He's like he was
Speaker 1: beside himself. He was really upset. He was crying, and Brittany,
Speaker 1: who's obviously really has high emotions not just was looking
Speaker 1: at him and he was crying. I was like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: like this is over. Were you like almost more repulse
Speaker 1: by the fact that he was crying at the time,
Speaker 1: I was just staying even more turned off by you.
Speaker 1: Now yep. In my head, I was just like, make
Speaker 1: this stop and leave. I was like, in my head,
Speaker 1: I was like end it and get out anyway. So
Speaker 1: I said, look, it's not going to work. If you
Speaker 1: want to keep traveling together as friends because we'd planned
Speaker 1: a trip, that's fine, we can travel together as friends.
Speaker 1: And he I think he didn't realize how independent I was,
Speaker 1: how much travel I'd done on my own, and he's like,
Speaker 1: the only way we're traveling together is if it's together
Speaker 1: as boyfriend and girlfriend. So if you don't want to
Speaker 1: be alone, then you're gonna have to be my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Like he was always trying to bribe me. And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, that's cool, okay, I no worries. I'll
Speaker 1: leave tomorrow and he was like what and I was
Speaker 1: like yeah, like I'll just replay the trip. I was like,
Speaker 1: I would rather be on my own than have to
Speaker 1: have sex. So I knew that he wasn't a big
Speaker 1: traveler and he hadn't done a lot on his own,
Speaker 1: and I did feel bad for him. That's why I said,
Speaker 1: if you want to keep traveling his friends, like, we'll
Speaker 1: do that. So I let him keep the trip basically,
Speaker 1: and I just rearranged everything and I left the next day.
Speaker 1: And I'm not kidding. I never saw him it like
Speaker 1: that was it, Just like I just I just went
Speaker 1: on a five week callidad through America by myself at
Speaker 1: the time of my life. I ran into him like
Speaker 1: two years later. But that was it. And I can't
Speaker 1: to this day. I can't put a finger on it,
Speaker 1: can't put my finger on it, but I remember it.
Speaker 1: I remember looking at him, and it was the way
Speaker 1: he was speaking, it was the way he was delivering
Speaker 1: it, it was everything about him, and it just changed in
Speaker 1: a heartbeat. So I just that was it. I dumped
Speaker 1: the poor guy in America and off I trot. Well.
Speaker 1: I think that that's the whole concept, right at least,
Speaker 1: like catching the ick is that it It kind of
Speaker 1: can be something that turns. It turns almost instantly, Like
Speaker 1: it could be because of something they said, but it
Speaker 1: could also be because of like a habit. It could
Speaker 1: be because of some like the way they look. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's the way they eat their food. Like it's something
Speaker 1: that seems very insignificant that has an extremely significant reaction
Speaker 1: from someone. Oh he used to do really bad, wiz pops.
Speaker 1: I remember that that was a real turn off. You
Speaker 1: don't like people farting around you, whiz bobbing farting. Mate,
Speaker 1: you would not get along with Matthew Johnson very well.
Speaker 1: I've learned to love him in all of his imperfections.
Speaker 1: He's a beautiful man. What's your what's your eck stories?
Speaker 1: It simp okay. I have a few ex stories, But
Speaker 1: my first one, and the one that I think is
Speaker 1: the biggest one, is is I was dating this guy.
Speaker 1: He was a friend of my friends, and I'd heard
Speaker 1: about him quite a bit, and they were like trying
Speaker 1: to set us up on this date. And then by
Speaker 1: a chance, we actually ended up matching on Tinder anyway,
Speaker 1: and so we went on a date and I was like,
Speaker 1: I think this guy is amazing. I think he's so great.
Speaker 1: And then we went on a few more dates and honestly,
Speaker 1: like he was he was such a great guy, and
Speaker 1: then we had sex. There's one night so so we
Speaker 1: like I was the one who was disgusting, Like I
Speaker 1: am the one who I am the one who should
Speaker 1: have been dumped after this, Like I rocked up at
Speaker 1: his house drunk. I was I went to his house
Speaker 1: for a booty call and was like sloppy and gross,
Speaker 1: and anyway, he was a total gentleman. I mean he
Speaker 1: had sex with me, but he was still a total gentleman.
Speaker 1: I was sloppy, drunk and gross. He's still had sex
Speaker 1: with me, but he was he was a gentleman. This
Speaker 1: is the Cheesecake story all over it. I mean, I
Speaker 1: wasn't so drunk that I don't remember sex. Like I
Speaker 1: remember sex and it wasn't good. And I wrote woke
Speaker 1: up the next day and it was like a cloud
Speaker 1: had just been lifted. I imagine it's like how guys
Speaker 1: feel sometimes when guys are just in it for sex.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't originally like I was. I actually thought
Speaker 1: that we were going to end up dating. I actually
Speaker 1: thought they were going to end up in a relationship.
Speaker 1: But I woke up that next morning and I was
Speaker 1: like repulsed by him, just it was not attracted to
Speaker 1: him anymore. Knew I didn't want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with him, Like could not get out of that
Speaker 1: house fast enough. I don't know what it was. It
Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily the sex. It wasn't him, it wasn't me,
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't pin down what it was about the
Speaker 1: whole situation that I didn't like, but there was something
Speaker 1: about him that switch had just flipped and I was
Speaker 1: out of there. And I think that, like that feeling
Speaker 1: is something that probably a lot of women, and I
Speaker 1: think more women than men, have experienced in different relationships
Speaker 1: and dating when just for no reason, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you were totally off the guy who a week earlier
Speaker 1: you were all over. Did you get up and leave? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like without speaking to him, No, Like we had
Speaker 1: our morning pleasantries and then I left, but I was like,
Speaker 1: don't touch me. Yeah. And prior to that, we'd been
Speaker 1: texting all the time, we'd been very, very flirty, and
Speaker 1: then the thought of kissing him, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: did it happen because the sex was bad? Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: but then like i'd been drinking, so maybe I feel
Speaker 1: like I feel like I could have given him another
Speaker 1: chance and that would have potentially been better, but my
Speaker 1: physical repulsion to giving him like there was a full
Speaker 1: on blockage that I couldn't do it. Yeah. So I
Speaker 1: don't know, and I don't know where it came from,
Speaker 1: and I don't know what it is. But the more
Speaker 1: research that we've done on this specifically for this episode, guys,
Speaker 1: is that the is something that there is an underlying
Speaker 1: psychological reason as to why you were turned off that person,
Speaker 1: and it's like a visceral gut instinct. So, I mean,
Speaker 1: we talk a lot about believing in your intuition and
Speaker 1: following like what your intuition tells you, and it could
Speaker 1: be a case that your moral values don't align and
Speaker 1: instead of like you being very conscious and cognitive at
Speaker 1: that there is like this gut and guttural instinct and reaction.
Speaker 1: So you may be almost like pinpointing small and insignificant things,
Speaker 1: but there's actually an underlying reason that's a much bigger
Speaker 1: and much more profound reason as to why you've been
Speaker 1: turned off this person. It's funny that you say, you
Speaker 1: bring up these gut instincts, because did you know that humans,
Speaker 1: we are the only species, like the only animal that
Speaker 1: doesn't listen to our gut instinct and doesn't listen to
Speaker 1: our natural instincts fight it were the only ones that
Speaker 1: are like, oh, maybe it's not right, maybe I'm overthinking it,
Speaker 1: maybe we can work through it. Whereas every other animal,
Speaker 1: I mean, we have so many nerves and so many
Speaker 1: sensations around our body that work together for a gut instinct,
Speaker 1: and that's why animals listen to them for fear when
Speaker 1: a predator's coming, when they just know something isn't right.
Speaker 1: We're the only ones that are like, ah, there's so
Speaker 1: many red flags. Maybe we'll just keep working through that.
Speaker 1: I think the problem with that is that because we
Speaker 1: have such a strong sense of being, which comes from
Speaker 1: our ability to think things through and rationalize things. So
Speaker 1: if you're having these gut reactions to something but you
Speaker 1: can't rationalize why you're feeling them or thinking them, your
Speaker 1: brain almost wants to take power in that situation. But
Speaker 1: I guess sometimes your thoughts and your intuition they don't
Speaker 1: work together. They almost work against each other. It's like
Speaker 1: when people say, like your heart and your head are
Speaker 1: working against each other, it's the same thing, like your
Speaker 1: gut and your head are working against each other. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you and I do always we are big advocates,
Speaker 1: but go with your gut instinct, Like, if you really
Speaker 1: do have that deep, deep guttural feeling, then it is
Speaker 1: probably worth listening to your intuition as well. Is like,
Speaker 1: and we've said this in past episodes, but it is
Speaker 1: your body's dangerousponse. It's your body telling you that something's wrong,
Speaker 1: and it's your first very visceral response to kind of
Speaker 1: like be aware of what's happening in a situation. So
Speaker 1: I think we have always said that you need to
Speaker 1: really listen to your intuition and prioritize those feelings because
Speaker 1: they're very rarely wrong unless you're somebody who has commitment issues.
Speaker 1: But if if it's a feeling that you've had about
Speaker 1: someone or about something, I think that those feelings are
Speaker 1: presenting themselves for a reason and we need to pay
Speaker 1: attention to them. I had when I was in this
Speaker 1: relationship with the sociopath for two years and sood number
Speaker 1: three I said three, so dated a sociopath. I had
Speaker 1: that gut instinct the whole time, from day one, and
Speaker 1: I buried it the whole time because I just thought
Speaker 1: I was I just kept telling myself, you're overreacting, you're
Speaker 1: making things up. There's no way, you know, just embracing forward.
Speaker 1: It is. He's been so great to you, he's treating
Speaker 1: you so great, he's buying you all these things. But
Speaker 1: I'd be lying if I didn't say that my gut
Speaker 1: was telling me that it was wrong from day one,
Speaker 1: and I just ignored it. And I think a lot
Speaker 1: of women who go through really difficult and men who
Speaker 1: go through really difficult relationships and really difficult experiences can
Speaker 1: look back and acknowledge that there was some inkling, like
Speaker 1: there was some intuition there, and I think some people
Speaker 1: are way more attuned to it than others. But I
Speaker 1: do think, as a general rule, like we know that
Speaker 1: something's up, like you know from your partner's behavior. You
Speaker 1: know from like the way that they're interacting with you.
Speaker 1: You know from the way that they're dealing with like
Speaker 1: phone calls or their phone or like all different things.
Speaker 1: We're kind of getting a little bit off topic from
Speaker 1: the dick, But I think, like we've said at time
Speaker 1: and time again, but intuition is just such a strong
Speaker 1: factor that you need to listen to, and that plays
Speaker 1: into this concept of the ick. Yeah, okay, so there's
Speaker 1: a big difference between like what Laura and I just
Speaker 1: discussed our personal ick issues situations, and that was that
Speaker 1: Laura had hers what two nights in you just you
Speaker 1: just knew him two weeks. Yeah, I can, like I
Speaker 1: wasn't sleeping with some of the second you said it
Speaker 1: was the one night stand. Well we dated for a
Speaker 1: little while. It was the first time we had Oh okay, okay,
Speaker 1: so you had yours, you went with him, you went
Speaker 1: in a relationship. It was two weeks. But I reckon
Speaker 1: the happens often after having sex. What did he do
Speaker 1: to you? I got the egg from another guy after
Speaker 1: I had sex with him, and that was because he
Speaker 1: had a very questionable penis, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: can't date that penis. What do you mean? What do
Speaker 1: you mean? It was? What was a questioning? It just
Speaker 1: wasn't for me. I can see you. I can look
Speaker 1: at you now and you're literally weighing up do I
Speaker 1: do this or do I not? I'm just throw a
Speaker 1: pulse by like shape, like visceral reaction. It was like
Speaker 1: tell on the back a strange of spaghetti. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I know, and I feel like I'm dick shaming people.
Speaker 1: But it's honestly just I couldn't do it. Guys. How
Speaker 1: many times an episode do Laura and I look at
Speaker 1: each other and say, you should we delete that? I
Speaker 1: shouldn't delete that talk about it after look, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not nice, Like it's not a PC thing to say,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure there'll be another woman out there who
Speaker 1: does want it, but for sure it's different for everyone.
Speaker 1: People want different things totally. But I am absolutely sure
Speaker 1: that there are other women out there who have had
Speaker 1: sexual experiences with a guy and then they've decided after that, like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: this is like not for me for whatever reason. And
Speaker 1: I think that there is I really do think that
Speaker 1: the it can be strongly tied to sex, and because
Speaker 1: that's when like that's when something shifts in a relationship
Speaker 1: as well, that's when the power dynamic shifts, that's when
Speaker 1: physically the relationship shifts. So I do think that there
Speaker 1: is a lot of this conversation that's tied up in sex.
Speaker 1: There's this idea of you get the ick and you
Speaker 1: have to leave and you can't overcome it because there's
Speaker 1: just like no moving past that. But the further we
Speaker 1: dug and the more research we did, and the more
Speaker 1: psychologists we chatted to, we found out that that's not
Speaker 1: necessarily the truth. You don't have to get the egg
Speaker 1: and it doesn't have to be the end because there
Speaker 1: are different levels and different stages, whether it happens at
Speaker 1: the beginning or long term, when you're married, when you're
Speaker 1: first dating, whether you're official, it doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: the end. So we're gonna just chat about that. Well.
Speaker 1: I did actually read a really interesting article as well,
Speaker 1: which is going back a little while now, but it's
Speaker 1: called the ick is bullshit and we've got to stop
Speaker 1: using it as a reason to break up. So this
Speaker 1: article was on Pedestrian by a journalist named Melissa Mason,
Speaker 1: and the whole premise behind this, and what she's saying
Speaker 1: in her article is that saying that you automatically decided
Speaker 1: one day that you're no longer attracted to someone is
Speaker 1: like incredibly superficial because we live in this day and
Speaker 1: age now where we have zero patients, and she's written
Speaker 1: on this, you know, she blames this on the internet,
Speaker 1: on smartphones, on social media, we can get information in minutes.
Speaker 1: It's made us impatient, little bitches. We want promotions now,
Speaker 1: money now, and love now. And the thing with relationships
Speaker 1: is they grow, they don't just magically sprang into phenomenal
Speaker 1: intimate lovefests. And I think that there is truth to
Speaker 1: this as well, Like I do think that that you
Speaker 1: have to identify in yourself and you're going to be
Speaker 1: the only one who knows. Have to identify whether you've
Speaker 1: caught the ick over super superficial reasons and something that
Speaker 1: you could actually overcome, or is it something where your
Speaker 1: moral and your judgment values are actually not aligned our
Speaker 1: personality values. Whatever it is, there's something of your core
Speaker 1: beliefs that aren't aligned. They're two very different things, and
Speaker 1: one of them is you're going to be able to
Speaker 1: get over and maybe your feelings will change, and the
Speaker 1: other one is like, okay, time to part ways. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot I do agree with on this, and
Speaker 1: not just in relation to the eck, in relation to
Speaker 1: our generation in general and dating, jobs, job satisfaction, money savings,
Speaker 1: buying houses. We do have a generation now where we
Speaker 1: want things faster for less work. We want we want
Speaker 1: it now, We are impatient, we have done a whole episode.
Speaker 1: Actually on the grass is always greener, and the grass
Speaker 1: is always greener. I think that comes into when someone
Speaker 1: develops the inch a lot, because I think sometimes we
Speaker 1: get scared of commitment or we're unsure, and so we
Speaker 1: are actually searching for something to happen to make us
Speaker 1: uncomfortable so we can have a reason to leave. Think
Speaker 1: that you can look at this concept in two different lenses.
Speaker 1: You can look at it from the lens of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: your intuition is telling you something and you've got to
Speaker 1: get out. Or you can look at it from the
Speaker 1: lens of impatience and go, well, maybe you're being impatient.
Speaker 1: You're expecting your relationship or you're expecting this person to
Speaker 1: be a level of perfection that maybe you're not either.
Speaker 1: A psychologist Meritith Fuller, she talks about why we get
Speaker 1: the ick and how we can actually stop it from
Speaker 1: sabotaging relationships that are good on paper. A lot of
Speaker 1: the times we are searching for reasons to leave, like
Speaker 1: we just said, but she breaks it down into sort
Speaker 1: of I guess three stages or levels of the ick.
Speaker 1: So let's just like nut those out for a second.
Speaker 1: She says number one, the number one inch your opposites
Speaker 1: attract theory. So what she's saying is, when you first
Speaker 1: get together, you love that you're so different from your partner.
Speaker 1: You know, they might be tattered up, they might be
Speaker 1: wanting to adventure, they might have five different jobs. They
Speaker 1: might be dolphin trainer, they might love to hike on
Speaker 1: the weekends and motocross and you you're happy in your
Speaker 1: nine to five, you like to play chess on the weekends.
Speaker 1: You don't like to get your nails dirty, Like you're
Speaker 1: so opposite. But this is why you this is why
Speaker 1: you get together, because you take something from each other
Speaker 1: and it's exciting and it's out of your comfort zone
Speaker 1: and you think it's fantastic. But that only lasts so long,
Speaker 1: and once the magic fades from the beginning, once the
Speaker 1: honeymoon's over, you realize you literally just don't have anything
Speaker 1: in common anymore. People are like on their best behavior
Speaker 1: for the first month. They're like the Christmas version of themselves.
Speaker 1: So I think, you what do you mean, I'm a
Speaker 1: Christmas version of myself the first month, except I rock
Speaker 1: out to people's houses drunk and trying to have sex
Speaker 1: with them. Anyway, long story, that was Christmas forre But
Speaker 1: like you know, we get the best version of people.
Speaker 1: And I think that was another thing that was touched
Speaker 1: in this article that I just referenced, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: you get the best jokes, you get the best messages,
Speaker 1: you get the best attention, you get the best version
Speaker 1: of a person for the first couple of months, and
Speaker 1: then after that their true self starts to show, and
Speaker 1: I think you know you also have to be introspective
Speaker 1: and realize that the same goes for yourself as well,
Speaker 1: Like you're giving the best version of yourself, and then
Speaker 1: after a couple of months, guess what, your jokes probably
Speaker 1: aren't quite as funny and you're not quite as good
Speaker 1: at the banter or whatever. It is, Like, things do
Speaker 1: level themselves out as well. But what are your what's
Speaker 1: your opinion on opposites attract? Look, it's an interesting one.
Speaker 1: I used to be. I used to be really really
Speaker 1: pro opposites attract, and I used to like to date
Speaker 1: people that were opposite to me. But for me that
Speaker 1: was I don't know if you guys know, but I'm
Speaker 1: pretty loud for me that way. I dated an intrabad
Speaker 1: and all I did was talk at him and it
Speaker 1: didn't work out. So crazy, No, I dated people that
Speaker 1: were actually like quite shine reserved, and it never worked
Speaker 1: for me because then all of a sudden, and I
Speaker 1: remember saying to my mom. I remember saying, Mummy, he
Speaker 1: can't even swim because he couldn't The guy was dating
Speaker 1: for a long time couldn't swim. And she's like, pretty,
Speaker 1: that's not the end of the world. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: well it is because I want to go swimming on
Speaker 1: the weekend and he can't come because he'll drowned. And
Speaker 1: that's why. And that's whenhen we got to the point
Speaker 1: where I we were like, oh, okay, so the opposites
Speaker 1: attracting war off really quickly. And now I didn't realize
Speaker 1: we don't have anything in common. That's also what happened
Speaker 1: with the guy that I got the EQ with overseas.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize until we got there we had absolutely
Speaker 1: nothing in common. He wanted to do this food tour
Speaker 1: of America. Now I love my food. We all know that.
Speaker 1: But I was there in my mind. I was like,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go hiking in your seventy National Park. We're
Speaker 1: gonna get bungee jumping, We're gonna do camping, We're gonna
Speaker 1: do all this amazing stuff. We're gonna go diving. We're
Speaker 1: gonna see whales. I'm gonna free dive. He was like,
Speaker 1: We're gonna go to Texas to get a Texan barbecue,
Speaker 1: when you were like, I'm not signing up. We're gonna
Speaker 1: go to San fran to get the chowder we're gonna
Speaker 1: like it was a food. And I just looked at
Speaker 1: him and I was like, oh my god, Like I
Speaker 1: want to do nothing that you want to do, and
Speaker 1: you want to do nothing that I want to do.
Speaker 1: And that was a moment I was like, Okay, you
Speaker 1: can't actually be with someone that is pole opposite. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a big believer. Like I mean, I'm sure that
Speaker 1: there are relationships out there where people would say, like,
Speaker 1: we're so opposite, But I think your core values will
Speaker 1: always align, Like the things that you want in your family,
Speaker 1: the things that you believe in the way that you
Speaker 1: show respect for each other. I think that your core
Speaker 1: values have to be aligned. It's okay for there to
Speaker 1: be some parts of you that are very opposite, but
Speaker 1: I think the things that ground you and make you
Speaker 1: work as a couple is that there are some very
Speaker 1: there are some very significant underlying similarities. And when I
Speaker 1: speak to Mad about this, like, I think one of
Speaker 1: the reasons why we work so well as a couple
Speaker 1: is because we are almost the same. Like, we are
Speaker 1: so identical in our personalities that we know each other's
Speaker 1: triggers for what can set the other one off really badly.
Speaker 1: But we also know exactly how one person wants to
Speaker 1: be loved, how one person wants to be nurtured. Like
Speaker 1: we are so similar, and I think that that has
Speaker 1: been to our strength in a relationship. More so one
Speaker 1: of my best friends, she is the nicest, sweetest girl,
Speaker 1: but you'd almost think she was a bitch because she's
Speaker 1: so shy, like she's so softly spoken and reserved, but
Speaker 1: she's such a beautiful, loyal person when you know her.
Speaker 1: And her husband is like the opposite. He's so loud,
Speaker 1: he's such a big personality. He's so funny. He's the
Speaker 1: life of the party, like he will light up any room.
Speaker 1: And they get along swimmingly, like they're perfect for each
Speaker 1: other because every other value and everything else in their
Speaker 1: life is the same. It's a line. So they have
Speaker 1: all that in common, and they actually compliment each other.
Speaker 1: She needed somebody that was like that because that wasn't
Speaker 1: her own a party, you know, So she needed that.
Speaker 1: He needed her to be like babe's rainingy and rein
Speaker 1: it in and so she pulls him back and it
Speaker 1: just works really well. But it only works because every
Speaker 1: other part of their life is in line. You can
Speaker 1: date somebody who has opposite personality traits because you admire
Speaker 1: that of them, especially if you're dating someone who is
Speaker 1: an extrovert or is who who finds it really easy
Speaker 1: in gatherings to go and talk to anyone at the party,
Speaker 1: like they're very attractive personality traits. But I don't think
Speaker 1: that you need to have everything the same in order
Speaker 1: to be able to have a sustained relationship. But you,
Speaker 1: like you said, and like I said, I mean, there
Speaker 1: we go love it when we agree. There has to
Speaker 1: be those core things that underlyingly are the same. And
Speaker 1: I think for a lot of people when they end
Speaker 1: up catching the ick, it's because there's something fundamental in
Speaker 1: their relationship that's not the same. There's something that's been said,
Speaker 1: there's something that's been done, There's something that's shifted in
Speaker 1: their core values that's made them go, oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: this is not going to work out with this guy.
Speaker 1: We just discussed it. Point number two is there's a
Speaker 1: fundamental difference in your attitude. So you're ahead of the psychologist.
Speaker 1: I know, askan Kat, here we go, here's your free
Speaker 1: therapy session. So Meredith Fuller, she does actually use the
Speaker 1: example we're discussed about an introvert an extra for dating,
Speaker 1: and how it actually can work as long as they're
Speaker 1: in line with everything else. So we already really covered
Speaker 1: number two. That's amazing, look at us go. But what
Speaker 1: she does say is these x can still be worked
Speaker 1: through even if you are even if you do fundamentally
Speaker 1: have some differences. It doesn't have to be the end.
Speaker 1: She's saying. It just means you have to have a
Speaker 1: lot lot more open communication and you do have to
Speaker 1: be open to put it in the work and not
Speaker 1: jumping ships straight away. But that leads us to number three.
Speaker 1: Three is what we've been talking about earlier in the episode,
Speaker 1: which is out of nowhere. You just don't like them anymore,
Speaker 1: like you're trying to find a valid excuse why. And
Speaker 1: this one is when, like we said, you might have
Speaker 1: been dating for a few weeks, the relationship is relatively
Speaker 1: fresh and literally out of nowhere. It almost feels like
Speaker 1: you're just off them, like totally turned off. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: like you know rationally that someone putting two exits at
Speaker 1: the end of a text shouldn't make you feel sick
Speaker 1: or for a smooch, and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: the word smooch makes me want to punch you in
Speaker 1: the face. Oh, I hate the word smooth. Tell me
Speaker 1: for a smoochy smooth like smooch me smoochie. I think
Speaker 1: baby talk is a big oh me too. And people
Speaker 1: that talk to their dog like a baby. I know
Speaker 1: why you're saying this. Britt Semi recently dated a guy
Speaker 1: who spoke to his dog like it was a child.
Speaker 1: And it even gave me the ick. It was in
Speaker 1: an accent too. It was too much. Oh wow. Anyway,
Speaker 1: needless to say, it didn't work out. But this sort
Speaker 1: of a nick this is the one that she does say.
Speaker 1: You can't really overcome it if you were that instantaneously
Speaker 1: reposed and can't even bring yourself to touch him or
Speaker 1: cuddle him or her, I should say, to cuddle your
Speaker 1: partner in bed. If a message or them calling and
Speaker 1: then their name pops up on your screen, it makes
Speaker 1: you feel sick. There's not really a lot of coming
Speaker 1: back from that. It doesn't make you a bad person.
Speaker 1: If you're turned off someone and you don't want to
Speaker 1: give it a shot, like, you don't have to rationalize
Speaker 1: it in your head and try and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: but they're really nice and they've done this and there's
Speaker 1: no reason for me to feel this, Like it's okay
Speaker 1: for you to pull a pin on a relationship early
Speaker 1: because there's something about it that's made you feel like completely,
Speaker 1: completely repulsed. Because you don't want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship where you feel like you need to change someone,
Speaker 1: and you also want to be in a relationship where
Speaker 1: you feel that intense desire for someone as well. Then
Speaker 1: there's this idea of like, okay, so you've got the ick,
Speaker 1: you have to work out what level of ick you
Speaker 1: are and why it's happened, and then if it's worth
Speaker 1: trying to salvage the relationship and work through it, Like
Speaker 1: are you overreacting? For example, if the ick has something
Speaker 1: to do with their personality, like maybe it's something they do.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's the fact that they take their clothes off
Speaker 1: and drop in the corner. Oh my god. Somebody messaged
Speaker 1: in onto the Facebook group and said that she was
Speaker 1: dating a guy who used to bite his own toenails
Speaker 1: after he'd been walking around all day. I was like, that,
Speaker 1: shit's a break up a bull offence right there? Also,
Speaker 1: how flexible is he? Yeah? Impressive? That is impressive. I'm
Speaker 1: not even mad, I'm impressed. But it doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be something as crazy as that. Like a lot of
Speaker 1: people have said that they got the ick from snoring,
Speaker 1: or they got the ick because the person ate with
Speaker 1: their mouth open, or it was because the way they
Speaker 1: spoke to a waitress or a waiter at a restaurant,
Speaker 1: like the way that people treat other people. I think
Speaker 1: is a very valid reason to be instantly turned off someone.
Speaker 1: But they are also the things that if you do
Speaker 1: still love them and you want the relationship to work,
Speaker 1: you can work on that because there are things that
Speaker 1: can change. They're little easy things, and you probably just
Speaker 1: haven't been open with your communication. You just need to say, hi, babe,
Speaker 1: get your foot out of your mouth, gets stuck in discussion.
Speaker 1: It doesn't turn me on. Yeah, and I do. I
Speaker 1: do agree with this, I really, I mean, and we'll
Speaker 1: always be advocates for communication. We think that that's the
Speaker 1: most important thing in a relationship. But I also think secondly,
Speaker 1: like before we just jump out and say, oh, well,
Speaker 1: if you feel like this, then you should jump ship. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know I said it's okay for you to do
Speaker 1: that if you want to, but I will say before
Speaker 1: you do, just jump ship. Something that I think is
Speaker 1: really important is that feelings are fleeting, and you are
Speaker 1: not your feelings. And I've said this before, but I
Speaker 1: think sometimes we almost pay too much attention to how
Speaker 1: we feel at a certain time, and the way you
Speaker 1: feel today may not be the way that you feel
Speaker 1: in two weeks time. And I think that you know,
Speaker 1: be conscious of the fact that feelings are very dynam
Speaker 1: feelings can shift, and I mean there's even times in
Speaker 1: long term relationships where you may be turned off your
Speaker 1: partner for whatever reason. But that doesn't mean that you
Speaker 1: can't come full circle and be attracted to your partner again.
Speaker 1: It just takes effort, it takes communication, it takes getting
Speaker 1: back to a good place. But yeah, feelings really are dynamic,
Speaker 1: and they change all the time, and they shouldn't be
Speaker 1: what you totally base the decision off, especially not a
Speaker 1: rash and quick decision. If you're one of those people,
Speaker 1: if you're listening now and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is me. If you're one of those people that
Speaker 1: actually gets the ick a lot, and you enter a
Speaker 1: relationship and it's frequent and you're like, why does every
Speaker 1: guy turn me off? You need to look a little
Speaker 1: bit deeper, and chances are you might actually have some
Speaker 1: commitment issues or there might be something more deep seated
Speaker 1: there on your end, because it's not normal to get
Speaker 1: the ick consistently or like most people get it once
Speaker 1: or twice in their life, but if you're getting it
Speaker 1: every time, you need to be like, Okay, am I
Speaker 1: not giving this guy a chance? Am I? Am I
Speaker 1: calling the shots way too soon? Do I have a
Speaker 1: commitment issue? Is it me that actually is finding an
Speaker 1: excuse because I don't want to open myself up to
Speaker 1: hurt or to feel love or you know, so you
Speaker 1: have to look at yourself and think, Okay, can we
Speaker 1: work through this? And do I want to actually try
Speaker 1: and work through this with this guy? Or are you
Speaker 1: just going to breakup with him because he didn't stack
Speaker 1: the dishwasher right yeah? Or are you suffering from this
Speaker 1: idea of the grass is always green? Or I think
Speaker 1: we often compare our relationships and the guys that we
Speaker 1: start dating to our friends boyfriends, or what we see
Speaker 1: on Instagram or what we can see on social media,
Speaker 1: or what we think we could get or what we
Speaker 1: think could be better. And I do think that this
Speaker 1: constant comparison can really be the undoing, especially in early relationships. Also,
Speaker 1: second to that, comparing somebody to your ex. We've had
Speaker 1: this conversation before, but I think it's a really important
Speaker 1: one as well, Like, you're never ever going to have
Speaker 1: the intensity of feelings with somebody that you just met
Speaker 1: as what you're going to have for someone who you
Speaker 1: had a sustained relationship with, And so you're only robbing
Speaker 1: yourself of the ability of having a great relationship if
Speaker 1: you go into every new relationship comparing it to your
Speaker 1: ex and what you've felt for them. Comparison is the
Speaker 1: thief of joy. Favorite saying comparisons the fief of joy.
Speaker 1: I think, just to really wrap it up, even if
Speaker 1: it does seem logical, your intuition really is a powerful thing.
Speaker 1: It disconnects your whole body, your mind, your spirit, and
Speaker 1: you do need to trust it and listen to it
Speaker 1: in every single circumstance. So really get in tune with
Speaker 1: your body. Masturbate guys, and that's a wrap, all right, Guys.
Speaker 1: We never end an episode without our suck and our
Speaker 1: sweet and as much as we did a bit of
Speaker 1: complaining at the beginning of this episode, we still have
Speaker 1: some highlights. Yeah, but the complaining is not over. Well,
Speaker 1: strap yourselves in, guys, Britt, what is your suck? My
Speaker 1: suck would have to be. I worked really late into
Speaker 1: I told you how much I worked. This is such
Speaker 1: a minor thing, but I was more. Yeah, I worked
Speaker 1: really late. Right. I get home midnight. Then I had
Speaker 1: to get back up and be at work at seven.
Speaker 1: So I get back up a quarter to six, so
Speaker 1: I get like four and a half hours sleep. I'm
Speaker 1: going to work for a seventeen eighteen hour shift. I'm
Speaker 1: so tired. I have a triple shot coffee in the car.
Speaker 1: I make it. I'm driving to work and I know
Speaker 1: that I've got this eighteen hours ahead of me. I get,
Speaker 1: I park my car. I walk like a zombie into
Speaker 1: the hospital. I get in there and I realize that
Speaker 1: I left my coffee in the car. Now, this is
Speaker 1: the smallest thing, but I had tears in my eyes
Speaker 1: because I was so emotionally drained. I was like. I
Speaker 1: looked at my sister and I was like, she's like,
Speaker 1: what's wrong. I was like, my coffee. She's like what.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's in the car. And that was so
Speaker 1: far away, and it was raining, and that was my suck.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was convinced that I can't get
Speaker 1: through this without that coffee. That was I was so
Speaker 1: beside myself and it's so ridiculous, But you know, when
Speaker 1: you're fatigued, the smallest thing just sets you off. I think, Okay,
Speaker 1: there's two parts of this one one. Part one is
Speaker 1: that you had to then relive the when you got
Speaker 1: back in the car and saw the cold coffee cup
Speaker 1: sitting there. And two, why did you think going to
Speaker 1: someone's party at midnight when you've had so much fucking
Speaker 1: on was a good idea? That was like two nights before,
Speaker 1: because I just, you know what, I had this moment
Speaker 1: of like, I'm not living at the moment, I'm existing.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had that you would have had that
Speaker 1: feeling like, yeah, this is the last year of my
Speaker 1: life exactly. I was parenting Brittany. I was like, I'm existing.
Speaker 1: I'm not seeing any of my friends, i am not
Speaker 1: doing anything. I'm just working to the bone. I'm going
Speaker 1: from job to job to job. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I knew I should have listened to my gut. Guys,
Speaker 1: I knew I shouldn't go out, and I did because
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to live and I want
Speaker 1: to socialize with my friends. And anyway, that was my suck.
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous. Yes, I cried because I left my coffee
Speaker 1: in the cup. Also ridiculous, But fine, we get it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we're vulnerable. Small things tip you over the edge. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was. It's all right, You're you're meant to feel,
Speaker 1: You're allowed to feel. My sweet is actually I feel
Speaker 1: like it's about to happen. Guys, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you saw it's about Yeah, is this referring to Paradise
Speaker 1: about to be on tv? Because this is the longest,
Speaker 1: most drawn out thing I've ever ever experienced in my life.
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm over it already. There's no bigger
Speaker 1: example of who I am right now that you think
Speaker 1: that I'm talking about paradise. But I'm thinking about the
Speaker 1: slice of cake I'm about to eat from your fruit.
Speaker 1: It's my sweet. That has also been a very drawn
Speaker 1: out experience of brit She walked in here wanting cake
Speaker 1: and I was like, get in the bedroom. We need
Speaker 1: to record there your butt in the bedroom. All I said,
Speaker 1: in a really sexy voice, like get in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: All I've wanted a piece of cake and I'm so
Speaker 1: excited by it and it's going to get me through
Speaker 1: my days. What's yours? Okay, So my suck this week
Speaker 1: is that Marley had to have her one year vaccinations,
Speaker 1: which happened today. Most sweet is that I didn't have
Speaker 1: to take did That's all right? He sacrificed you for
Speaker 1: the COVID test last week. This is the least you
Speaker 1: could do. This is true. He was the sacrificial lamb today.
Speaker 1: So Marley had to go and have her Yeah, the
Speaker 1: one year vaccinations, which, like, it's very important. I'm very
Speaker 1: happy that she could have them. But for anyone who
Speaker 1: has small kids who have been vaccinated, you know that
Speaker 1: they are just not very happy. Little criticis afterwards, So
Speaker 1: did she did she like scream the house down? Was sure? Well, Matt,
Speaker 1: So Matt took her. I ended up having to go
Speaker 1: into work, but Matt took her in and she said
Speaker 1: that He said that she was a real trooper. But
Speaker 1: she was really upset when they did it, but then
Speaker 1: she got over it pretty quickly. That's the thing about kids.
Speaker 1: They have an attention span of a fish, and something
Speaker 1: that makes them upset, they're over it in like two
Speaker 1: seconds flat. Well, yeah, it'd just be the shock for
Speaker 1: two seconds and then yeah, and then yeah, she'd like
Speaker 1: the trauma of being pinned down. Why someone literally pins
Speaker 1: you down? And I don't know, but she just had
Speaker 1: like they get like a bit of a fever afterwards
Speaker 1: and they feel a bit sick. So she's been a
Speaker 1: bit shitty today and a bit sad. So I know
Speaker 1: that I'm in for a bad night sleep tonight. So
Speaker 1: that's my suck. My sweet is that it was her birthday.
Speaker 1: It was her birthday party, and it was so cute
Speaker 1: and it was really really small, like we just had
Speaker 1: like my family, my sister and her little boy and
Speaker 1: my like Matt's sister and brother, and like, it was
Speaker 1: just so nice to have everyone together and all the kids,
Speaker 1: and oh made me feel like such a parent. I
Speaker 1: still can't. I just still can't believe she's one. It's
Speaker 1: just mind blowing. I can't believe we've been doing this
Speaker 1: podcast for so long. I also, guys, cannot believe that
Speaker 1: we have almost hit two a million. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: can you believe how quickly that has happened. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: It has rolled around so fast. So since February we
Speaker 1: would have done two million. We're gonna go out. We're
Speaker 1: going to celebrate two million. Thank you to everybody who
Speaker 1: has been listening to the podcast. Thank you to everybody
Speaker 1: who has supported us from day dot, and to every
Speaker 1: single person who sends us messages and reviews and just
Speaker 1: tells us what a difference this podcast has made in
Speaker 1: their life. Means so much to us, and we know
Speaker 1: that it's made a difference to you because you tell us.
Speaker 1: And can you guys imagine Laura's actual two million speech
Speaker 1: If this is the Walmart She's getting aulterary and I'm like, babe,
Speaker 1: we're not even there yet. No, but the part of
Speaker 1: this is like doing the thing that has made us
Speaker 1: keep on doing this podcast week in and week out
Speaker 1: for the past year. Like we've done this through brit
Speaker 1: having crazy work schedules. We've done this through me giving
Speaker 1: birth and having a baby, done it and surving last
Speaker 1: year of our yeah, surviving the first year of parenting,
Speaker 1: through you doing another reality TV show. I've had some big,
Speaker 1: big life events in this time, and you, Laura, have
Speaker 1: shown up every week. Look now I'm getting emotional that
Speaker 1: the reason why we do it is because so many
Speaker 1: of you have message to say what a difference it
Speaker 1: has made to your life, especially to some of you
Speaker 1: who've gone through breakups or we've gone through some difficult
Speaker 1: times in your relationships, and that to us means the
Speaker 1: world and that is the only reason why we keep
Speaker 1: doing it every week, and because we have so much
Speaker 1: fun doing it as well. Yeah, the end, guys's definitely
Speaker 1: not the dollar value. On that note, if you have
Speaker 1: loved this episode, please leave us a review, hit five
Speaker 1: stars and share the love because we love love.
Speaker 2: The Bakaa, the bay, the