WEBVTT - The Curious Case of the Twisted Testicle

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<v Speaker 1>Last night worked to midnight, had a shower?

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<v Speaker 2>Was that a flexor not a shower? That worked for

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<v Speaker 2>a fucking midnight?

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<v Speaker 1>Just never ends. I was like, I cannot wait to

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<v Speaker 1>go into bed, head, hit the pillow, close my eyes,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I realized.

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<v Speaker 2>We have an episode that came out today.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, fuck, I haven't uploaded the episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you write them?

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<v Speaker 1>I wrote it.

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<v Speaker 2>You're very good at that.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you read today? Not the strongest? You didn't remind

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<v Speaker 1>me normally, you remind me.

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<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't have to.

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<v Speaker 1>Wednesdays come around so cool.

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<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't have to remind you because that would make

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<v Speaker 2>me your boss and I'm not. We're equals.

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<v Speaker 1>Almost almost dropped the ball, made that mistake a few times.

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<v Speaker 3>Not today.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to two Golding Dads. I'm Mattie J And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Mash. This is a podcast that is all about parenting.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. And if

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<v Speaker 1>you have come thinking that you may get any type

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<v Speaker 1>of advice, unfortunately you've come to the wrong podcast. It's

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<v Speaker 1>not going to happen here, not today, not ever.

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<v Speaker 2>Never, never, ever, ever ever ever anyway. Hell am I'm good, Look,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm good. I can't say I'm bad because there's people

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<v Speaker 2>that they're much worse than me. But no, but this

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<v Speaker 2>is week two of Oscar having to come home early

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<v Speaker 2>from kindy.

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<v Speaker 1>What happened last time?

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<v Speaker 2>He was just sad. He was tired because I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>pick him up, so Papa picked him up, and then

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<v Speaker 2>I went and got Macy from the same kindy. Later on,

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<v Speaker 2>I saw Oscar's teacher and she was like, is Oscar

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<v Speaker 2>Cab'm like, yeah, he seems fine to me, which is fine.

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<v Speaker 2>She was like, yeah, he was just laying around everywhere

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<v Speaker 2>and that's not like him, fucking slob. I'm like, how

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<v Speaker 2>do I get him do that at home? Fucking slub?

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<v Speaker 2>So two days later, let's just go two days later, No,

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<v Speaker 2>the day later. I'd already promised him the day off

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<v Speaker 2>because he was so sad on the Wednesday. I just

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<v Speaker 2>couldn't have him off on the Wednesday, but I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>you can stay of from the Thursday with me and

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<v Speaker 2>Macy went outsaw my dad. When out saw my nan,

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<v Speaker 2>it was fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Would you ever backtrack on those type of promises or

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<v Speaker 1>does he remember?

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<v Speaker 2>He fucking remembers, mate, He will never forget, like he'll

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<v Speaker 2>remember things. Like he'll just blurt out something that he

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<v Speaker 2>remembers from so long. Once actually, once we promised him

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<v Speaker 2>in Monster the Truck if he slept in his bed

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<v Speaker 2>all night. Tournal Little Monster Truck promised him that because

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<v Speaker 2>we're just like, look, you have to stop sleeping in

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<v Speaker 2>our room. And he slept the whole night, woke up

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<v Speaker 2>the next day, didn't even mention. Granted, I told him

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<v Speaker 2>when he was really tired to going to bed, so

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<v Speaker 2>I just thought he's forgotten. Anyway, two weeks later, we're

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<v Speaker 2>in the car, we pull up to the shops and

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<v Speaker 2>he goes, can I get that Monster truck now? Two

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<v Speaker 2>weeks and I was I was like, fuck are you

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<v Speaker 2>talking about? And he was like, I slept in my

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<v Speaker 2>bed the whole night. It was one night he'd been

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<v Speaker 2>saving ever since then. And I was like, but then, at.

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<v Speaker 1>The same time, they hold on to the most random

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<v Speaker 1>bits of information, and then you're like, hey, you took

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<v Speaker 1>your shoes off yesterday. Where'd you put them? They're like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh yeah, and I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

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<v Speaker 1>And you're like, basically like, where have you put your shoes?

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<v Speaker 1>And they're like mine, will just hide them. And yet

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<v Speaker 1>a song will play and she's like, that was the

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<v Speaker 1>song that you had your first dance to at the wedding.

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<v Speaker 2>I've seen the wedding video, and you're like, what. We

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<v Speaker 2>went to Nancy other day and Oscar pointed at a

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<v Speaker 2>photo of me and April and my dad at our

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<v Speaker 2>wedding and was like, is that your wedding? I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>because where was I? I was like, not there? Than anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>So I promised him the day off. Anyway. We went

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<v Speaker 2>out and saw my name anyway, came back and he

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<v Speaker 2>was just a bit off in the avo and then

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<v Speaker 2>April's finished work and got home and took one look

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<v Speaker 2>at him and like he had quite red cheeks, like

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<v Speaker 2>and I thought I must have been from the wind

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<v Speaker 2>or something. But then like the bulk of it calmed down.

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<v Speaker 2>It was quite patchy, like like he had severe acne.

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<v Speaker 2>Is there?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, I don't know if you've ever heard of his

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<v Speaker 2>Matthew slap cheek. Yeah, your facials exactly what the fuck

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<v Speaker 2>is slap cheek? You might ask, It's an illness. And

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, April's like, yep, he's got slap cheek,

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<v Speaker 2>Like she knew what the fuck she was talking about

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<v Speaker 2>She's obviously just googled it that he's got this.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that a nickname? Is that like the street term

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<v Speaker 1>for it stuff? And you're like, oh, he's got slap cheek?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I went out to do that Marcott job thing, right,

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<v Speaker 2>And I was talking to a moment out there, shout

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<v Speaker 2>out to that mom because you said I love the podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I was saying, oscars at home he has and she went, oh, no,

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<v Speaker 2>like she fucking knew, And I thought, what do you

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<v Speaker 2>is slap gee?

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<v Speaker 1>But do you think she walked away going I need

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<v Speaker 1>to find out what slap cheek?

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone knows.

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<v Speaker 1>Ash talked about it in a way that just had

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<v Speaker 1>so much confidence that she didn't don't want to be

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<v Speaker 1>an idiot.

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<v Speaker 2>It definitely wasn't common. And I was like, I's got

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<v Speaker 2>something called slap gee, which I didn't know what that was.

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<v Speaker 2>I still don't even know what that was. To define it,

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, it looks like you've been slapped in the cheek.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like I swear to God and slap him. I

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<v Speaker 2>swear to God. Okay, I wouldn't do that.

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<v Speaker 1>If you ever do get angry at Oscar and April

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<v Speaker 1>comes home like, oh, that slap cheeks come right back right.

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<v Speaker 2>But you can see it's kind of like noticeably, Like

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, but apparently it's not contagious. He's the kicker,

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<v Speaker 2>and I could be fucking wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope not.

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<v Speaker 2>Man Like, No, it's not contagious if the slap cheek

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<v Speaker 2>is visible. So it's leading up to it. So why

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<v Speaker 2>he was so tired and run down and all that stuff, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>how are you supposed to pre empty? He's got that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so it's contagious. It's a silent killer, you could

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<v Speaker 1>say that.

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<v Speaker 2>So you've got to pre empt every day that. Now

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<v Speaker 2>every time my kid's tired is like slap cheek.

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<v Speaker 1>Smells like slap cheek.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn it. Anyway, slap cheek got the best of him,

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<v Speaker 2>which leads into this week. So so tired, he's been

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<v Speaker 2>so wingy since, but he's still been like his playable self. Busy, busy,

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<v Speaker 2>busy busy boy, like NonStop, like last night, flipping around

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<v Speaker 2>on the cat. You've been at kindy all day, bro

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<v Speaker 2>with your mate, and he's here. He's jumping all over everything,

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<v Speaker 2>fucking smashing glasses.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the biggest difference between boys and girls is that

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<v Speaker 1>boys just run at a much higher tempo. Like the

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<v Speaker 1>girls come home from daycare and they just want to

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<v Speaker 1>draw or snuggle on the couch.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's like Macy. Macy will get up to have

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<v Speaker 2>a sniffer. What's going on with Oscar? Like if he's

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<v Speaker 2>over here building a fucking whatever. Like I said, he's

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<v Speaker 2>like a kelpie and like he just like flips and

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<v Speaker 2>bloody blades, but everywhere it's it's chaos. I just like

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<v Speaker 2>because we're all knacked but him, And it's like, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd love that sort of energy, but also I wouldn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Then this week he's obviously been run down as you do.

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<v Speaker 2>You get poor kids. Got a coolestle.

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<v Speaker 1>He's got the herb.

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<v Speaker 2>He's got the herb and or he all they then

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<v Speaker 2>he's completely fine. We're putting some viras on there, so

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<v Speaker 2>he knows what a virax tastes like now because every

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<v Speaker 2>time we put it on, he just goes He's into

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<v Speaker 2>it more like things like that's what you're supposed to do.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, bro, don't.

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<v Speaker 1>It tastes nice? Is it? No? Okay? So it's just

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<v Speaker 1>like chemical.

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<v Speaker 2>Since the chemical that goes on and he's dried out.

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<v Speaker 1>And he's got a taste for it.

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<v Speaker 2>He's got a taste for it.

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<v Speaker 1>You're making in the morning, I couldn't put it as

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<v Speaker 1>a Vira could.

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<v Speaker 2>Assault for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Acts at the restaurant, Yeah, you don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Have I don't see the virarex on the menu. This

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<v Speaker 2>kid can read. So he went today. But then I've

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<v Speaker 2>got a call at ten thirty this morning saying that

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<v Speaker 2>he needs to go because they think he's got a

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<v Speaker 2>hand foot in my mouth. Now off the back of that,

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<v Speaker 2>so he's got pop has taking him to the doctor

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<v Speaker 2>today so that we can work. Because this is work,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll keep you posted on that. We might go for

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<v Speaker 2>week three next week, Jesus.

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<v Speaker 1>Although it's a nightmare, no question about it, just back

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<v Speaker 1>to back illnesses. The positive though, is that he's building

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<v Speaker 1>a strong immune system.

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<v Speaker 2>For when for when he's an adult.

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<v Speaker 1>Well let's look at you for example, right, Oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're not the healthiest person I've ever had.

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<v Speaker 2>What did I have for breakfast this morning? I had

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<v Speaker 2>two meat patties. Two things are bacon, two eggs, and Jesus, jes.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, Except I'm sick like three times more often than

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<v Speaker 1>you are. You're never sick, You're never ever sick. Ever,

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<v Speaker 1>whereas I'm fleeing.

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<v Speaker 2>I am. I'm just on a good run, So do not.

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<v Speaker 1>I won't jinx it. I won't. I also not. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to one up your illness story. This episode's

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<v Speaker 1>all about sick kids so far to really feel good.

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<v Speaker 2>There is something else I want to talk to you about.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll get to it.

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<v Speaker 1>Akat two medical stories that I have.

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<v Speaker 2>Any hospital visits.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I will get to that. I'll get to that.

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<v Speaker 2>Johnson's love guard to the hospital.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So yesterday I moved house. I'm now just down

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<v Speaker 1>the road for my sister. She's got three kids. George

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<v Speaker 1>is her eldest. He's about six or seven and similar

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<v Speaker 1>to Oscar, he's a kelpie. He's just full of beans.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like climbing trees, jumping off how old. So he's

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<v Speaker 1>six or seven. I think at the moment he's really

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<v Speaker 1>into being on a scooter and a skateboard. That's his jam. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>and I used to skateboard double Shark, double Shaker.

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<v Speaker 2>B I can't wait to go to.

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<v Speaker 1>Used to skateboard quite a good skater back in the day.

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<v Speaker 2>That was your best trip.

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<v Speaker 1>I think the best trick I did was like a

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<v Speaker 1>board slide or doing like a seven jumping down a

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<v Speaker 1>set of stairs. Seven was my hole was the highest.

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<v Speaker 1>And I could can't tell if you're actually impressed just

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<v Speaker 1>being fucking patronizing.

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<v Speaker 2>Towards me at the moment, I don't see it anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's something that George and I, you know, we've

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<v Speaker 1>got your bondage. Yeah, oh my George, let me show

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<v Speaker 1>you what to bring.

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<v Speaker 2>Him up to the skate park Terry Hills skate Park.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I can't because he had an incident.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So I was walking Buster and I walked past my

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<v Speaker 1>sister's house and I was just called and I was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, if you're out the front, i'll say hi.

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<v Speaker 1>And George was there on a scooter and he was

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<v Speaker 1>having a little go and we had a bit of

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<v Speaker 1>a play and they had you know the those plastic

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<v Speaker 1>camping tables that have.

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<v Speaker 2>The they fold up oheah, yeah, yeah, the.

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<v Speaker 1>Legs that come out. They're a really old one of

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<v Speaker 1>those that's just been like gathering dust for ages. And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, we could kind of set that up

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<v Speaker 1>as a bit of a ramp and a few times

0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:15.320
<v Speaker 1>I was kind of jumping up it and it was

0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:20.040
<v Speaker 1>a bit, a bit sketchy anyway. I was like looked

0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:21.520
<v Speaker 1>at the time, and I'm like, well, my kids are

0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:23.600
<v Speaker 1>coming home soon. I better go, Like bye, George.

0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:26.560
<v Speaker 2>You know so you've just set up a dangerous obstacle

0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:28.840
<v Speaker 2>for a child. Is that what's happened?

0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, my sister was there. It wasn't as if

0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:37.400
<v Speaker 1>I'd done this just begin. I waved goodbye. I get

0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:41.040
<v Speaker 1>a message from my sister an hour later saying we're

0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:41.679
<v Speaker 1>in hospital.

0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, can I show you're in enabler?

0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:46.360
<v Speaker 1>Can I show you what happened?

0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:48.080
<v Speaker 2>George? What have you done to this poor child?

0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:51.040
<v Speaker 1>George is OK. People are listening right now. Don't worry.

0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:54.239
<v Speaker 2>Uncle Maddie. Have you been to visit him yet.

0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:56.120
<v Speaker 1>No, because it happened yesterday and I've been.

0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:00.199
<v Speaker 2>I've been flat out the audacity of you.

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.040
<v Speaker 1>So he came up on the scooter, up off the table,

0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 1>lost control, he landed head first. Fuck yeah, oh my,

0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.480
<v Speaker 1>he's got head but of the ground. That's three stitches.

0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:15.400
<v Speaker 2>Did he have a concussion?

0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes, also concussion because he wasn't wearing a helmet.

0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:23.120
<v Speaker 2>So kids, kid, hey, Uncle Maddie, like, hey, do you

0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:26.320
<v Speaker 2>know what see that sketchy table over there. Let's set

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:27.920
<v Speaker 2>it up and you can jump off it. Not me,

0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:29.480
<v Speaker 2>you can jump.

0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:33.040
<v Speaker 1>And whilst you're jumping, here hold these knife anyway, look

0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:33.600
<v Speaker 1>at Maddy.

0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.360
<v Speaker 2>Shouldn't I wear a helmet? No, that's how I picture

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:36.840
<v Speaker 2>that happening.

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:40.120
<v Speaker 1>But my sister was like, they give a bit of gas.

0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:43.640
<v Speaker 2>When he gets actually jealous of the gas, you have

0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:44.120
<v Speaker 2>the option.

0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:50.000
<v Speaker 1>You have raspberry, vanilla, chocolate or Coca Cola. He went

0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:51.400
<v Speaker 1>for Coca Cola, loved.

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:53.920
<v Speaker 2>It cool, And I say, hey, George, mate, it's best

0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:56.120
<v Speaker 2>that you get this out of the way first, because

0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:59.920
<v Speaker 2>if you're going to continue to skate, continue to scoot,

0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 2>maybe Uncle Ashley teaching how to cir because man, he

0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:06.439
<v Speaker 2>can't do that. You're gonna hurt yourself. Get them stitches

0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:09.160
<v Speaker 2>out of the way early, build up the outside of

0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:10.199
<v Speaker 2>your body immunity.

0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.960
<v Speaker 1>But I spoke to my sister just before we recorded,

0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:16.280
<v Speaker 1>and he woke up this morning and was like, I

0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:18.160
<v Speaker 1>want to go to school. Obviously wants to show off.

0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:20.440
<v Speaker 1>You know, he's got still yeah yeah yeah. And Kate

0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.040
<v Speaker 1>was like, I don't think you should just so sweet

0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:24.760
<v Speaker 1>and he was like no, no, no, Mama, feel fine.

0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:27.199
<v Speaker 1>So she's like, okay, cool, like dropping off at school.

0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:29.520
<v Speaker 1>Half an hour later they call her up and they're like, oh,

0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:35.680
<v Speaker 1>George's got he's falling over, he's got a headache. Is

0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:38.280
<v Speaker 1>it sick bay, Yeah, he's still got concussion. Going to

0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:38.800
<v Speaker 1>pick him up.

0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:43.000
<v Speaker 2>So that reminds me my brother in law is a

0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:46.920
<v Speaker 2>really good skater. So picture of this. He's a PhD. Okay,

0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:51.640
<v Speaker 2>it's PhD in what in geographical philosophy something like that.

0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:52.840
<v Speaker 1>What the fun is that?

0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:54.640
<v Speaker 2>No? No, no, anyway, so he's a you need to

0:13:54.679 --> 0:14:00.000
<v Speaker 2>professor and he's UNI professor nosering Mullett covered in tat skates.

0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 2>So just picture that, okay, picturing it? So I think

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.760
<v Speaker 2>it was last year. So still skates a lot. This

0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.680
<v Speaker 2>is going on the injury thing. Anyway, He's at the

0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:14.040
<v Speaker 2>skate park where it's predominantly kids. At this skate park,

0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:16.800
<v Speaker 2>there's a couple of adults who's still shred he's shredding

0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 2>at the skate park, comes off, breaks his wrist right

0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:22.640
<v Speaker 2>in front of all these kids. And he was telling

0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.320
<v Speaker 2>me that he was sitting there and one of the

0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.360
<v Speaker 2>mums had to hold an umbrella over him so you

0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:35.480
<v Speaker 2>didn't get burnt from the sun by the ambula. So

0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:38.360
<v Speaker 2>there you go, George. There's no age bounds on that.

0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:42.240
<v Speaker 2>And I'm pretty sure he's like thirty seven or thirty

0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:45.000
<v Speaker 2>six or something as well, so it ever ends, mate,

0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:45.600
<v Speaker 2>trust me.

0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:49.120
<v Speaker 1>That is a fucking embarrassing. It's one of those things that,

0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:52.200
<v Speaker 1>like riding a skateboard, you think that's just like a bike. Man.

0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:54.080
<v Speaker 1>I tried to do a pop shove it and I

0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:57.080
<v Speaker 1>almost very nearly whipped out and killed myself.

0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.280
<v Speaker 2>And I'm just getting back into skating because it's like

0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:01.440
<v Speaker 2>the first and shit, so I've just been like, okay,

0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.680
<v Speaker 2>we'll go to do something and yeah, You're like, how

0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:05.440
<v Speaker 2>did I do this?

0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.960
<v Speaker 1>Like kneel down to do an ollie? As I like,

0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:11.280
<v Speaker 1>as I crouched down, I was like.

0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. Did you have a moment when you

0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:17.400
<v Speaker 2>got the call from your sister being like George's in

0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 2>hospital and you're like, oh no, and then you hung up.

0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:20.840
<v Speaker 2>We went glad it's not my.

0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:27.200
<v Speaker 1>Kids, yes, because see this happened last week, but we

0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:29.280
<v Speaker 1>didn't tell the story because we told that story of

0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:32.240
<v Speaker 1>one of your fans verbally abusing me instead.

0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:33.960
<v Speaker 2>You know what, you deserve it now.

0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:38.720
<v Speaker 1>After that, we had a little trip to hospital with Marley.

0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:40.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh so Karma's got ya?

0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:44.040
<v Speaker 1>And can I just say also she is fine? Both

0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:45.560
<v Speaker 1>these stories all happy endings.

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:49.080
<v Speaker 2>You're a liability, you lot well, you're clogging up the

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:53.000
<v Speaker 2>system the rest of us. No one that literally like

0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.680
<v Speaker 2>Oscar went to hospital twice in his life. He's four,

0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Marley's been in the hospital more times than me. And

0:15:58.560 --> 0:15:59.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm twenty.

0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.120
<v Speaker 1>Why are you looking at me? And I'm the problem here?

0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.360
<v Speaker 1>Like it's not like, hey, which we do this weekend?

0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:08.840
<v Speaker 1>Let's go to emergency the children, So we go back

0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.640
<v Speaker 1>to emergency. I hate going there.

0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:13.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, to be fair, you keep telling me that, mate,

0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 2>but you still keep going.

0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:18.000
<v Speaker 1>To be fair, I've actually never done the hospital trip.

0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:19.880
<v Speaker 1>It's always been Laura.

0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:21.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and you can't really complain.

0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:23.320
<v Speaker 1>And I was kind of like, I don't know how

0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.200
<v Speaker 1>this works, but also.

0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:26.040
<v Speaker 2>You actually did this trip.

0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:30.840
<v Speaker 1>I did this. But also remembering that Lola had those screams,

0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:33.320
<v Speaker 1>which we were like giving a tough love because we

0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 1>thought it was because she wanted a bottle of.

0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Milk, but she had a perforate drum.

0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:39.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So now Marley, not long after that, she was like, oh,

0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.080
<v Speaker 1>my stomach hurts, and I like, well, that's weird that

0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:47.000
<v Speaker 1>she never had that complaint happened again that night, wouldn't

0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:49.840
<v Speaker 1>have dinner. She's like, oh, like still my stomach is

0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:53.560
<v Speaker 1>really hurting. Thought she was fine then that she woke

0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:56.240
<v Speaker 1>up at maybe like nine o'clock at night screaming, being

0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.160
<v Speaker 1>like my stomach And I was like, fuck, like you

0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:04.080
<v Speaker 1>probably just hung If we didn't have the perforaded ear

0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:07.520
<v Speaker 1>drum in the back, I'd be like, go back to bed.

0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.879
<v Speaker 1>But Laura was like this is not good. Like she was,

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:15.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, in the fetal position, crying. So well, I'm

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:16.880
<v Speaker 1>glad you now agree with me that the right thing

0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:18.200
<v Speaker 1>to do Ash was got to a hospital.

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, we go there.

0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:25.159
<v Speaker 1>We go there, they do a couple of tests. They

0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:27.520
<v Speaker 1>say it's fine, you have to come back for it ultrasound.

0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:29.440
<v Speaker 1>But you can't do that till the next day. So

0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.320
<v Speaker 1>Laura gets something like midnight next morning, take her back

0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.480
<v Speaker 1>into emergency for an ultrasound.

0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:35.640
<v Speaker 2>You this time?

0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:37.560
<v Speaker 1>I went the second time, and you kin'd of get

0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:41.520
<v Speaker 1>anyone who's never been to emergency with your kids? Is it?

0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:44.640
<v Speaker 1>It's got like a triage nurse? Is that right? Don't

0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 1>quote me on this if I'm saying it wrong. I

0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:48.200
<v Speaker 1>apologize sorry to the nurses out there.

0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:50.360
<v Speaker 2>You're doing a fantastic job.

0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:52.439
<v Speaker 1>But they do like an initial how sick are you?

0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.520
<v Speaker 1>And if it's life threatening, obviously you get seen. George

0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:55.800
<v Speaker 1>got seen straight away. Yeah.

0:17:56.600 --> 0:17:59.920
<v Speaker 2>Miley's like, I'm dying, oh right this way.

0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:02.560
<v Speaker 1>But they say it'll be a bit of a wait,

0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:05.399
<v Speaker 1>so we have to wait four hours to get the ultrasound.

0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:08.080
<v Speaker 1>And it's funny you kind of you look at each

0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:10.639
<v Speaker 1>kid as they come through, and you're kind of like, oh,

0:18:10.720 --> 0:18:12.800
<v Speaker 1>how sick is their kid? How quickly will they get seen?

0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:16.399
<v Speaker 1>And some kids are like fine, as in, you have

0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:18.000
<v Speaker 1>a temperature, you give them pane at all. They get

0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:21.200
<v Speaker 1>to emergency and they're absolutely fine with other kids come

0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:23.960
<v Speaker 1>through and that like George, and they need stitches.

0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:27.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they even from the forehead. It's like stat.

0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:30.959
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of stats, a lot of yelling, and

0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I was like, fucking, how come on, Like,

0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:34.960
<v Speaker 1>I just want to get this ultrasound done and find

0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:37.800
<v Speaker 1>out what's wrong. But at this point Marley's fine, She's

0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:40.760
<v Speaker 1>like and they also you can't give the kids food

0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.360
<v Speaker 1>before the ultrasound, So Marley's there four hours, like dad,

0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:45.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm hungry. There's a vending machines that every kid is

0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.240
<v Speaker 1>there getting like chips and chocolate. I was like, I

0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:50.200
<v Speaker 1>just want to eat something, and I'm like, no, you can't.

0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:56.240
<v Speaker 2>The ultrasound punish and they don't understand either. It's a punish. Yeah.

0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:59.280
<v Speaker 1>Anyway, we get the ultrasound and it felt.

0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.160
<v Speaker 2>You just come with nothing but pictures today.

0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.800
<v Speaker 1>I know, I know, Sorry, I know, I'm very very

0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:08.239
<v Speaker 1>picture heavy, very visual, and we get the ultrasound and

0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.080
<v Speaker 1>it felt really nostalgic.

0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:18.320
<v Speaker 2>She's pregnant. Oh my god, flashback it's a boy. Oh

0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:21.359
<v Speaker 2>my god. So those of you listening, I'm just looking

0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:24.679
<v Speaker 2>at a picture of Marley getting ultrasound on a tummy

0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:29.000
<v Speaker 2>like Mummy would have done. So that's why Matt's thinking, flashback,

0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 2>did you start going? Because I would be c sick,

0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:36.000
<v Speaker 2>you know me in that? How long were you there?

0:19:36.040 --> 0:19:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Four hours?

0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:39.000
<v Speaker 1>Because obviously you know probably five hours?

0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:39.320
<v Speaker 2>Fine?

0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:42.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, do you know what it was? Do you know

0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:45.240
<v Speaker 1>what it was? A telescopic in testine?

0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:48.200
<v Speaker 2>M Is it one of the ones it goes.

0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:55.960
<v Speaker 1>Like a submarine? Well they they said that like it

0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:57.120
<v Speaker 1>sometimes happens.

0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, that kid's like, I love that diagnosed. Sometimes

0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:03.520
<v Speaker 2>happens off you go, you're done.

0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:06.480
<v Speaker 1>Literally, I was like, how do you fix? The testine

0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:08.800
<v Speaker 1>kind of goes like like a telescope goes in on itself.

0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:12.320
<v Speaker 1>It hurts, happens for a number of reasons, comes back

0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:13.800
<v Speaker 1>out of this comes back out.

0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:15.280
<v Speaker 2>It's like when a bit gets stuck in your rib.

0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:17.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like this is it.

0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:20.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm die. Actually I'm okay like that.

0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:22.760
<v Speaker 1>But I also kind of thought, I was like, are

0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:24.240
<v Speaker 1>they just kind of making this up on the spot,

0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:26.359
<v Speaker 1>because I was like, I was like, how do I

0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:27.920
<v Speaker 1>make sure it doesn't happen again? And they're like, oh,

0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:30.440
<v Speaker 1>like it's totally fine.

0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:32.280
<v Speaker 2>Like it's just one of those funny if it was

0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:37.160
<v Speaker 2>like a vegan nurses like just don't eat meat. Oh, yes,

0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:40.920
<v Speaker 2>right on it. She's okay, that's the main thing.

0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:43.440
<v Speaker 1>So I was, you know, it was Can I just say,

0:20:43.720 --> 0:20:47.639
<v Speaker 1>on a serious note, there is nothing better than walking

0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:49.840
<v Speaker 1>out of the hospital with like a thumbs up, you're

0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:52.080
<v Speaker 1>good together. They're like, you're good to go. Yeah, Like

0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:54.639
<v Speaker 1>because we had to like not to end on a

0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:56.960
<v Speaker 1>down a note. You have to walk to get to

0:20:57.000 --> 0:20:58.800
<v Speaker 1>the ultra sound was like a fucking maze.

0:20:58.760 --> 0:20:59.800
<v Speaker 2>Past the dying people.

0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:01.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah, you have to.

0:21:02.200 --> 0:21:04.399
<v Speaker 2>It's like hospitals are no good.

0:21:04.400 --> 0:21:07.679
<v Speaker 1>Walking past these beds with the kids who have like

0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:09.240
<v Speaker 1>tubes up their nose and they're.

0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:11.000
<v Speaker 2>Like, you know with what was the children's hospital?

0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:14.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, children's Yeah, so walking past the sick kids and

0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:16.600
<v Speaker 1>you're like, that's not how a kid should be spending

0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:17.400
<v Speaker 1>the day like it's.

0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:19.760
<v Speaker 2>And that look, honestly, we've got a pretty good when

0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:22.560
<v Speaker 2>you think, oh, totally, speaking of triage, I want to

0:21:22.560 --> 0:21:24.160
<v Speaker 2>go back to the triage.

0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:25.879
<v Speaker 1>What is triche mans triage?

0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:27.600
<v Speaker 2>Just like they like you said that, I don't know

0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:30.199
<v Speaker 2>what it exactly means, but they determine who needs to

0:21:30.240 --> 0:21:33.480
<v Speaker 2>go up the line anyway. So this is something that

0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:36.240
<v Speaker 2>happened to me where I had to deal with a

0:21:36.240 --> 0:21:38.080
<v Speaker 2>triarche nurse and you were saying, oh, you know, the

0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:41.040
<v Speaker 2>people that are dying go first. So when I was fourteen,

0:21:41.280 --> 0:21:43.800
<v Speaker 2>let's just skip right into this story right away. I

0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:44.960
<v Speaker 2>didn't think I was going to tell this story.

0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:46.560
<v Speaker 1>No, well, can I just say that, do you ever

0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:48.439
<v Speaker 1>think you are going to tell any particular story?

0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:50.879
<v Speaker 2>No? It just comes to me on the mark. I'm

0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:52.600
<v Speaker 2>just definitely not written. I've go written down what I

0:21:52.600 --> 0:21:53.679
<v Speaker 2>want to talk to you about it. I was just

0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:57.159
<v Speaker 2>going to fuck it, going to talk about to talk

0:21:57.160 --> 0:21:58.760
<v Speaker 2>about I'm just going to bounce off what you've said

0:21:58.800 --> 0:22:01.959
<v Speaker 2>and I will remind myself. So when I was fourteen,

0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:04.000
<v Speaker 2>lived on the Gold Coast at the time, and we

0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:06.440
<v Speaker 2>actually came did a house swap with our old neighbors

0:22:06.840 --> 0:22:09.040
<v Speaker 2>in Sydney. So we did house swap. So we came

0:22:09.040 --> 0:22:10.560
<v Speaker 2>down to Sydney for like two or three weeks coming

0:22:10.560 --> 0:22:12.880
<v Speaker 2>over how long it was anyway, So we drove down.

0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:15.280
<v Speaker 2>The whole family drove down. I was in the car.

0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:17.280
<v Speaker 2>I was the tallest, so I was in the passenger seat,

0:22:17.280 --> 0:22:20.720
<v Speaker 2>which you know, at fourteen a lot of involuntary erections.

0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:26.399
<v Speaker 2>That's not the story.

0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:32.320
<v Speaker 1>Did I forget what it's like being fourteen? I used

0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:34.400
<v Speaker 1>to get maybe like ten a day.

0:22:34.880 --> 0:22:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I can't wait to talk to you mum when

0:22:36.480 --> 0:22:38.240
<v Speaker 2>she comes down.

0:22:39.480 --> 0:22:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Can I just confirm? So your mom's in the backs mum,

0:22:42.080 --> 0:22:42.840
<v Speaker 1>and my sister.

0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:44.119
<v Speaker 2>In the back seat. I'm in the front with an

0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:50.720
<v Speaker 2>awkward erection, classic hiding it somehow, And the problem is

0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:53.239
<v Speaker 2>like there's nothing to distract you. Back then it was

0:22:53.560 --> 0:22:56.679
<v Speaker 2>four I had a phone, but there used to be

0:22:56.680 --> 0:22:57.680
<v Speaker 2>no reception on the way.

0:22:58.000 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, game boy, what would you play?

0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:01.280
<v Speaker 2>It was just like look out the window and hope

0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:05.480
<v Speaker 2>the direction goes down, like looking at roadkill. Like yeah,

0:23:05.600 --> 0:23:08.920
<v Speaker 2>it was like that's kind of sexy. Anyway. So we

0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:09.600
<v Speaker 2>came to sit.

0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:15.280
<v Speaker 1>You ounder control. You and your old man are just

0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:17.919
<v Speaker 1>like ah, like father likes something. He's looking over.

0:23:18.040 --> 0:23:23.920
<v Speaker 2>He's like, wrong, that didn't happen, and he didn't drive

0:23:23.960 --> 0:23:30.240
<v Speaker 2>a manual. Anyways. We're only here for like twenty four hours,

0:23:30.320 --> 0:23:32.959
<v Speaker 2>forty eight hours, okay, And I went to catch up

0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:35.320
<v Speaker 2>with some of my mates. Can you know you're not

0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:37.400
<v Speaker 2>going to fucking dog?

0:23:37.800 --> 0:23:41.000
<v Speaker 1>What's what's wrong with her?

0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:43.359
<v Speaker 2>Because she's swollen?

0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:48.800
<v Speaker 1>What does she have swollen nees for? Okay, swollen knee?

0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:51.320
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, you should take it to a

0:23:51.480 --> 0:23:52.280
<v Speaker 2>pet physio.

0:23:53.040 --> 0:23:55.920
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, yeah, that's a.

0:23:55.280 --> 0:23:57.560
<v Speaker 2>Are you fucking serious.

0:23:58.160 --> 0:24:03.000
<v Speaker 1>What any one who's not aware? Ashes had to go

0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:05.760
<v Speaker 1>over lift his dog onto the couch.

0:24:05.880 --> 0:24:09.040
<v Speaker 2>It's a low lying couch, dude, Like it's thirty centimeters

0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:11.879
<v Speaker 2>off the ground even, and the dog is like, come here, bitch.

0:24:11.960 --> 0:24:13.880
<v Speaker 2>The other day I had to lift up those two

0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:18.240
<v Speaker 2>steps and it's two steps. She could have just gone upstairs.

0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:19.200
<v Speaker 1>How old is she the dog?

0:24:20.440 --> 0:24:22.640
<v Speaker 2>She'd be ten soon, Okay, so she'll be dead soon

0:24:22.880 --> 0:24:25.440
<v Speaker 2>soon enough. Little dogs live forever they do. I will

0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:27.560
<v Speaker 2>be saying like, oh my god, this burden of a dog.

0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:32.119
<v Speaker 2>And she'll live till I'm like twenty. Hurry up so

0:24:32.119 --> 0:24:38.760
<v Speaker 2>I can replace you any You and your dad getting erections?

0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:40.680
<v Speaker 2>No together? No?

0:24:40.760 --> 0:24:41.640
<v Speaker 1>So where were we?

0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:43.679
<v Speaker 2>We're here for like twenty four or forty eight hours?

0:24:43.720 --> 0:24:45.760
<v Speaker 2>And I went saw some mates because I used to

0:24:45.800 --> 0:24:47.880
<v Speaker 2>go to school here, and I went and met with them,

0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:50.720
<v Speaker 2>surved a couple of times with them that day. Great,

0:24:50.800 --> 0:24:53.320
<v Speaker 2>having a lot of fun. And then I got like

0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:57.840
<v Speaker 2>a pain in my lower stomach, like lower, I don't

0:24:57.840 --> 0:24:58.359
<v Speaker 2>know left.

0:24:58.400 --> 0:25:00.440
<v Speaker 1>I think it was not erection related, not.

0:25:00.480 --> 0:25:03.119
<v Speaker 2>Erection related, not related. I don't think it's related to

0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:03.760
<v Speaker 2>the erections.

0:25:04.000 --> 0:25:06.440
<v Speaker 1>Actually a lot of sense.

0:25:07.880 --> 0:25:10.960
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, it's like so much pain, so

0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:13.439
<v Speaker 2>much pain, and my dad had to come and get me.

0:25:13.880 --> 0:25:17.240
<v Speaker 2>And Dad's like come the classic dad like comes to

0:25:17.320 --> 0:25:21.160
<v Speaker 2>pick me up. I'm in excruciating pain. But he hasn't

0:25:21.200 --> 0:25:25.080
<v Speaker 2>seen this person's parents since we moved, so he's like, oh,

0:25:25.200 --> 0:25:28.080
<v Speaker 2>stop and have a chat. I'm in the car. Man

0:25:28.359 --> 0:25:32.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm in the car, like Dad, I'm fucking in so

0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:34.240
<v Speaker 2>much pain. I was like, and I just said to him,

0:25:34.640 --> 0:25:40.240
<v Speaker 2>it's my fucking nuts right. My testicles are fucking pulsating,

0:25:40.240 --> 0:25:43.000
<v Speaker 2>they're so sore. And as soon as I said anything

0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:48.520
<v Speaker 2>about my testicles, like a man should, let's come. And

0:25:48.560 --> 0:25:51.680
<v Speaker 2>my dad's no good with like doctors or something like that,

0:25:51.720 --> 0:25:53.399
<v Speaker 2>even though he's a medical rep. How the fuck does

0:25:53.440 --> 0:25:54.040
<v Speaker 2>that work.

0:25:54.200 --> 0:25:59.200
<v Speaker 1>Isn't it? Parents are so crazy and like any little

0:25:59.480 --> 0:26:01.640
<v Speaker 1>your dad's chatty. I met your dad and he loves

0:26:01.680 --> 0:26:04.800
<v Speaker 1>he loves the gin wag. You're there on death's door

0:26:05.440 --> 0:26:05.960
<v Speaker 1>and he's like.

0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:10.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh, cliffs, got over it, mate, youkay. That's pretty much

0:26:10.320 --> 0:26:12.920
<v Speaker 2>what it was like until I mentioned my testicles, and

0:26:12.960 --> 0:26:14.600
<v Speaker 2>he's thought, fuck.

0:26:14.560 --> 0:26:15.840
<v Speaker 1>This is a medical emergency.

0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:18.359
<v Speaker 2>So he's driven so taking me to the medical center.

0:26:18.480 --> 0:26:20.720
<v Speaker 2>He's taken me back to where we're staying for mom

0:26:20.760 --> 0:26:24.480
<v Speaker 2>to take me to the medical center. That's a bloody shamuzzle.

0:26:24.840 --> 0:26:26.359
<v Speaker 2>He was just didn't want to go. I don't think

0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:27.120
<v Speaker 2>it's like, thanks Dad.

0:26:27.200 --> 0:26:29.840
<v Speaker 1>Maybe he was like me and he didn't know. Maybe,

0:26:29.880 --> 0:26:32.600
<v Speaker 1>But when it comes to testicles, every second count.

0:26:32.800 --> 0:26:36.600
<v Speaker 2>Every second does count. Matthew anyway, so mam has taken

0:26:36.600 --> 0:26:39.399
<v Speaker 2>me to the medical center. Anyway, I remember vividly sitting

0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:41.480
<v Speaker 2>in the medical center. It was like the plastic those

0:26:41.600 --> 0:26:46.320
<v Speaker 2>medical center plastic chairs with like the gray thin I

0:26:46.359 --> 0:26:49.200
<v Speaker 2>felt like I was melting the plastic. That's how much

0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:51.439
<v Speaker 2>pain I was in. I was sweating, I was hot,

0:26:51.560 --> 0:26:54.919
<v Speaker 2>and I was just like anyway, doctor see me, and

0:26:54.920 --> 0:26:57.800
<v Speaker 2>they're like, we don't know, we don't know what it is.

0:26:58.160 --> 0:27:00.320
<v Speaker 2>Then sent me to the emergency room.

0:27:00.560 --> 0:27:01.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, ultra sound.

0:27:02.080 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 2>And then I get to the emergency room it's been

0:27:04.119 --> 0:27:04.800
<v Speaker 2>like four hours.

0:27:05.119 --> 0:27:08.000
<v Speaker 1>Me just like oh yeah, ultra sound, that's the only

0:27:08.080 --> 0:27:08.600
<v Speaker 1>medical word.

0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:13.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, and stating my arm ultrasound. Anyway, I got

0:27:13.400 --> 0:27:16.640
<v Speaker 2>to see the tree arched nurse. Okay, also that term

0:27:16.720 --> 0:27:20.080
<v Speaker 2>very good Mary, mindflowing fourteen years of age. I've already

0:27:20.080 --> 0:27:22.479
<v Speaker 2>shown my nuts to one person. The next thing, I've

0:27:22.480 --> 0:27:24.320
<v Speaker 2>got to show my nuts to another person.

0:27:24.400 --> 0:27:25.920
<v Speaker 1>Were they big? Were they enlarged?

0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:30.320
<v Speaker 2>No? No, but very sot, very sore stomach. Really really,

0:27:31.440 --> 0:27:33.720
<v Speaker 2>that's like, I'll tell you what's wrong with you. You've

0:27:33.720 --> 0:27:34.359
<v Speaker 2>got a direction?

0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:36.920
<v Speaker 1>Who's that? Who's that? What's that medical show where a

0:27:37.000 --> 0:27:42.439
<v Speaker 1>guy has to like diagnosed those strange cases ah, embarrassing.

0:27:41.880 --> 0:27:47.840
<v Speaker 2>Bodies anyway, So I'm like, at this point, like four

0:27:47.880 --> 0:27:51.960
<v Speaker 2>hours of pain, like sweating, really really bad, tree arched

0:27:52.040 --> 0:27:56.560
<v Speaker 2>nurse took one look at me and went, your testicles

0:27:56.560 --> 0:28:02.720
<v Speaker 2>are twisted. Yeah, so in the sack itself, and this

0:28:02.760 --> 0:28:06.960
<v Speaker 2>is where the triash nurse has gone. You're okay. You

0:28:07.000 --> 0:28:09.840
<v Speaker 2>would think, okay, you're not in a life threatening situation,

0:28:10.240 --> 0:28:13.280
<v Speaker 2>but your nuts are more important than anyone in this

0:28:13.400 --> 0:28:16.320
<v Speaker 2>fucking er right now, because no one is more important

0:28:16.320 --> 0:28:22.560
<v Speaker 2>than your testicles. Straight through, I'm in surgery, in fucking

0:28:22.680 --> 0:28:26.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking like minutes because there's only a certain amount

0:28:26.359 --> 0:28:27.800
<v Speaker 2>of time before the nut dies.

0:28:27.960 --> 0:28:29.959
<v Speaker 1>It's a cold blue.

0:28:29.560 --> 0:28:32.560
<v Speaker 2>Like cold blue woo woo woo, straight through.

0:28:32.800 --> 0:28:35.760
<v Speaker 1>Since I had a car accident, don't.

0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:40.640
<v Speaker 2>Worry about me and get that saved the testicle anyway,

0:28:40.720 --> 0:28:42.600
<v Speaker 2>straight in, And the last thing I remember was like

0:28:42.640 --> 0:28:45.520
<v Speaker 2>I was on the bed and they're pushing me into surgery.

0:28:45.800 --> 0:28:48.760
<v Speaker 2>But to get me into surgery, they actually had to

0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:52.040
<v Speaker 2>go into a supply closet for a U turn and

0:28:52.120 --> 0:28:54.320
<v Speaker 2>I passed out in the supply closet, So I thought

0:28:54.360 --> 0:29:01.320
<v Speaker 2>we did the surgery and the supply closet anyway, Hell, anyway,

0:29:01.800 --> 0:29:05.000
<v Speaker 2>separated the testicles, stitch them to the walls of the

0:29:05.040 --> 0:29:10.040
<v Speaker 2>testicle sack, and so for the next three weeks while

0:29:10.080 --> 0:29:13.440
<v Speaker 2>we're in Sydney. Still I'm fucking bedridden with these testicles

0:29:13.920 --> 0:29:16.760
<v Speaker 2>that were huge. And my mate at the time thought

0:29:16.760 --> 0:29:19.760
<v Speaker 2>it would be really really funny to pretend to sackack me,

0:29:19.840 --> 0:29:23.960
<v Speaker 2>so I'd squeeze my legs together. It was fucked anyway.

0:29:24.160 --> 0:29:27.080
<v Speaker 1>What an apologies if you're going to get to this point,

0:29:27.160 --> 0:29:29.400
<v Speaker 1>But what causes a twisted testicle?

0:29:29.560 --> 0:29:30.120
<v Speaker 2>No idea.

0:29:30.240 --> 0:29:30.960
<v Speaker 1>It just happened.

0:29:31.200 --> 0:29:34.360
<v Speaker 2>Just happened. Happens a lot apparently, but we were minutes away

0:29:34.360 --> 0:29:36.960
<v Speaker 2>from losing it. Well, thankfully now I have two kids.

0:29:37.000 --> 0:29:39.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't really need them now they're actually twisted back up.

0:29:41.120 --> 0:29:43.800
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, I just thought you just the word tree,

0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:46.600
<v Speaker 2>I was just really spark something in me.

0:29:46.640 --> 0:29:49.400
<v Speaker 1>Then did you, like you have you ever gotten in

0:29:49.440 --> 0:29:52.720
<v Speaker 1>contact with that nerves? Have you said that could be

0:29:52.720 --> 0:29:57.240
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful get it on the podcast? What was her name?

0:29:57.280 --> 0:29:57.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you remember?

0:29:57.840 --> 0:30:01.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't have a clue, Matthew it was that was

0:30:01.560 --> 0:30:02.760
<v Speaker 2>like nineteen years ago.

0:30:02.880 --> 0:30:04.120
<v Speaker 1>That would be a beautiful story.

0:30:04.400 --> 0:30:05.320
<v Speaker 2>So old.

0:30:06.520 --> 0:30:09.920
<v Speaker 1>They're coming together. I wonder how many nutsacks she saved

0:30:09.960 --> 0:30:10.880
<v Speaker 1>in her career as well.

0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:14.480
<v Speaker 2>I hope a lot. I hope she's got You know

0:30:14.520 --> 0:30:16.560
<v Speaker 2>when it's like when you leave like the army and

0:30:16.600 --> 0:30:19.120
<v Speaker 2>you get like the purple heart, They're like, here's a

0:30:19.200 --> 0:30:22.200
<v Speaker 2>set of purple testicles. Here's a set that didn't make it,

0:30:22.320 --> 0:30:24.040
<v Speaker 2>but not because of your efforts.

0:30:24.040 --> 0:30:26.880
<v Speaker 1>How lucky though, How lucky that she was on call

0:30:27.160 --> 0:30:29.200
<v Speaker 1>at the very minute that you came in with your

0:30:29.200 --> 0:30:30.080
<v Speaker 1>twisted nat sack.

0:30:30.440 --> 0:30:36.440
<v Speaker 2>But also afterwards, I, as teenagers do they ridicule people.

0:30:37.040 --> 0:30:40.880
<v Speaker 2>So my mates thought I had one ball one ball ash.

0:30:40.880 --> 0:30:43.360
<v Speaker 2>And this goes back to when the other day I

0:30:43.400 --> 0:30:45.560
<v Speaker 2>went and bought a guitar and you're like, what are

0:30:45.560 --> 0:30:48.320
<v Speaker 2>you going to learn? Wonder Wall, Like it's a joke,

0:30:48.720 --> 0:30:51.200
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, that's funny because my mats made

0:30:51.280 --> 0:30:52.680
<v Speaker 2>up a song called one ball.

0:30:52.680 --> 0:30:54.600
<v Speaker 1>Because I look over and you start crying and I

0:30:54.640 --> 0:30:55.400
<v Speaker 1>was like ash.

0:30:55.440 --> 0:31:02.040
<v Speaker 2>They were like, cause he's got one ball. Anyway, we

0:31:02.160 --> 0:31:05.920
<v Speaker 2>just really took a long journey together there. But I'm fine, obviously,

0:31:06.480 --> 0:31:07.680
<v Speaker 2>But yeah.

0:31:08.080 --> 0:31:10.280
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for sharing that story.

0:31:10.320 --> 0:31:11.440
<v Speaker 2>Should we go into lies now?

0:31:11.600 --> 0:31:24.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, tell me love, tell me little. So we are

0:31:24.320 --> 0:31:26.000
<v Speaker 1>now back with parenting lies.

0:31:26.080 --> 0:31:28.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So the Budget Smuggler is going to be happening

0:31:28.360 --> 0:31:30.440
<v Speaker 2>from now until the end of the year.

0:31:30.640 --> 0:31:31.320
<v Speaker 1>It's coming back.

0:31:31.360 --> 0:31:32.040
<v Speaker 2>It's coming back.

0:31:32.160 --> 0:31:34.560
<v Speaker 1>We know people right now will be panicking.

0:31:35.120 --> 0:31:38.000
<v Speaker 2>Maybe I'm missed out on the budgets. No, there's plenty

0:31:38.040 --> 0:31:40.920
<v Speaker 2>of opportunities to do that over the course of the

0:31:40.920 --> 0:31:42.520
<v Speaker 2>back end of the year, So still get stories in

0:31:42.600 --> 0:31:45.600
<v Speaker 2>for that. But in the meantime, we bring back everyone's

0:31:45.640 --> 0:31:49.320
<v Speaker 2>favorite segment, which is the lies and Matthew, what do

0:31:49.360 --> 0:31:50.240
<v Speaker 2>you do you have for me?

0:31:50.320 --> 0:31:54.040
<v Speaker 1>I've got one ash. This one is from writ a Day,

0:31:54.680 --> 0:31:58.960
<v Speaker 1>Britt A Day a Day. It says, tell me lies.

0:31:59.000 --> 0:32:02.040
<v Speaker 1>I bloody love this. Well, Britt, we love it too.

0:32:02.920 --> 0:32:05.320
<v Speaker 1>So she says, I've just realized that my husband and

0:32:05.320 --> 0:32:09.200
<v Speaker 1>I have already been lying to our eleven month old son, Rowan.

0:32:09.840 --> 0:32:12.600
<v Speaker 1>He keeps going to share Slash give food to the dog,

0:32:12.800 --> 0:32:15.840
<v Speaker 1>and I'm bloody sick of it because she keeps making

0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:17.160
<v Speaker 1>food for him because it's the dog.

0:32:17.480 --> 0:32:18.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it sucks.

0:32:18.440 --> 0:32:21.200
<v Speaker 1>It's like the one bad thing about having a small child.

0:32:21.480 --> 0:32:23.360
<v Speaker 2>The dog's well fed all the time.

0:32:23.560 --> 0:32:27.200
<v Speaker 1>So she says, no, dogs don't like sausages, and no,

0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:30.800
<v Speaker 1>dogs don't like sandwiches, so whatever, he's eating. She has said,

0:32:30.800 --> 0:32:33.920
<v Speaker 1>the dog doesn't like it, and it works, but she says, mate,

0:32:34.000 --> 0:32:38.040
<v Speaker 1>my dog will eat his own shit. He would devour

0:32:38.080 --> 0:32:40.080
<v Speaker 1>whatever the tiny human has handed him. So now the

0:32:40.120 --> 0:32:43.640
<v Speaker 1>dog just stares at us like we're committing the ultimate betrayal.

0:32:44.560 --> 0:32:49.480
<v Speaker 2>Stop lying to the child. That's pretty good because I

0:32:49.520 --> 0:32:52.960
<v Speaker 2>know Mazie, like I always say, the dogs stalking them?

0:32:53.320 --> 0:32:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, they're just.

0:32:55.000 --> 0:32:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Stalk dinner time. Yeah, they're just stalking. No, at all times,

0:32:58.640 --> 0:33:02.640
<v Speaker 2>don't it's always this tone as well. Don't feed the dog.

0:33:04.120 --> 0:33:06.440
<v Speaker 1>So annoying, so annoying.

0:33:06.120 --> 0:33:08.600
<v Speaker 2>My lie, Matthew is something that I can't remember who

0:33:08.680 --> 0:33:11.960
<v Speaker 2>it came from. But if this does ring any bells

0:33:12.000 --> 0:33:14.920
<v Speaker 2>from someone, thank you. But I also do this as

0:33:14.960 --> 0:33:19.720
<v Speaker 2>well as like it's part of a parenting style. Okay,

0:33:19.800 --> 0:33:24.200
<v Speaker 2>So if anytime Oscar, mainly because maybe doesn't understand yet,

0:33:24.440 --> 0:33:29.080
<v Speaker 2>anytime Oscar is being a naughty boy or doing the

0:33:29.080 --> 0:33:32.160
<v Speaker 2>wrong thing, it could be six twelve months out from

0:33:32.160 --> 0:33:36.160
<v Speaker 2>his birthday, I always say, that's it. Your birthday's canceled.

0:33:36.600 --> 0:33:38.960
<v Speaker 2>You don't get to change age this year. Your birthday's

0:33:39.040 --> 0:33:43.800
<v Speaker 2>completely canceled. Works a treat every time, because he's just

0:33:43.840 --> 0:33:46.880
<v Speaker 2>like they obviously associate it with presents, okay, but also

0:33:46.960 --> 0:33:48.560
<v Speaker 2>I like to throw in there that you're going to

0:33:48.600 --> 0:33:51.160
<v Speaker 2>be four again for another year. I think all the

0:33:51.200 --> 0:33:53.200
<v Speaker 2>other boys and all the other girls are going to

0:33:53.240 --> 0:33:56.560
<v Speaker 2>be five. You, sir, you continue that behavior, you will

0:33:56.560 --> 0:33:59.040
<v Speaker 2>remain four. Your birthday will be canceled.

0:33:59.160 --> 0:34:02.280
<v Speaker 1>That's great. But Marley sometimes she'll be like, I don't

0:34:02.280 --> 0:34:04.320
<v Speaker 1>want to grow up, dad, And she's like, I don't

0:34:04.320 --> 0:34:06.560
<v Speaker 1>want to get older because she's so sweet.

0:34:07.360 --> 0:34:12.040
<v Speaker 2>Because a moron, he's not. He's not, but he's a boy.

0:34:12.080 --> 0:34:14.160
<v Speaker 2>He all he cares about is where the next monster

0:34:14.200 --> 0:34:19.040
<v Speaker 2>trucks coming from. Okay, so he's not a moron.

0:34:19.239 --> 0:34:22.439
<v Speaker 1>Hey are we are? We going to do lies next week?

0:34:22.520 --> 0:34:24.080
<v Speaker 2>So we are going to do lies next week. But

0:34:24.120 --> 0:34:28.120
<v Speaker 2>then we're back baby with budget. Mugger's most ordinary parents,

0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:30.960
<v Speaker 2>So get your lies in, get your ordinary parenting moments in.

0:34:31.680 --> 0:34:35.640
<v Speaker 2>Whether it's a D M or there's an email in our.

0:34:36.000 --> 0:34:42.360
<v Speaker 1>Two D two double D double d's look dot com

0:34:42.400 --> 0:34:43.080
<v Speaker 1>dot dot.

0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:45.839
<v Speaker 2>A U yes, correct, So get him over. Like I said,

0:34:45.880 --> 0:34:49.640
<v Speaker 2>there's going to be plenty of opportunities for ordinary parents

0:34:49.640 --> 0:34:51.160
<v Speaker 2>and lives for the back end of this year. But

0:34:51.239 --> 0:34:53.200
<v Speaker 2>ordinary parents, you get to win something, which is great.

0:34:53.360 --> 0:35:04.560
<v Speaker 1>Love it. Let's end the episode on questions. We always

0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:07.640
<v Speaker 1>have two questions. I'm going to start off ash and

0:35:07.760 --> 0:35:11.879
<v Speaker 1>ask you if you could hire any celebrity to look

0:35:11.920 --> 0:35:18.280
<v Speaker 1>after your kids, who would it be? And why? Let's

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:20.359
<v Speaker 1>go I mean, sure we can make it open ended

0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:22.480
<v Speaker 1>and have anyone could be alive for the sake of

0:35:22.520 --> 0:35:23.080
<v Speaker 1>this question.

0:35:23.160 --> 0:35:24.879
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, while I'm thinking.

0:35:25.080 --> 0:35:27.840
<v Speaker 1>You go, I'm going to go Kim Kardashian.

0:35:29.080 --> 0:35:35.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm going to go Scott Disick. Well, those who

0:35:35.040 --> 0:35:37.520
<v Speaker 2>know that person is who's on the keeping up with

0:35:37.560 --> 0:35:40.839
<v Speaker 2>the Kardashian he would be the funnest babies that are

0:35:41.040 --> 0:35:42.480
<v Speaker 2>fuck it, I want him to babysit me.

0:35:42.840 --> 0:35:45.200
<v Speaker 1>No, he's just he's like a drunk, isn't Heah.

0:35:44.880 --> 0:35:46.640
<v Speaker 2>But he's such a wayanka, but he knows he's a

0:35:46.680 --> 0:35:48.480
<v Speaker 2>winger and everything that comes out of his mouth is

0:35:48.520 --> 0:35:49.520
<v Speaker 2>fucking hilarious.

0:35:49.600 --> 0:35:52.839
<v Speaker 1>The Lord, the Lord Lord. I'm pretty sure he goes

0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:53.600
<v Speaker 1>by the name of the Lord.

0:35:54.080 --> 0:35:57.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you're talking about it saying Scott Dissic, Yeah.

0:35:57.200 --> 0:35:58.520
<v Speaker 1>He used to be married to Corny.

0:35:58.600 --> 0:36:01.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's the best. He's so good. Whereas,

0:36:01.400 --> 0:36:03.080
<v Speaker 2>for example, if It's like he's like, do you want

0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:06.279
<v Speaker 2>something to drink? And Chris Kardashian's like, well, it's like

0:36:06.280 --> 0:36:08.319
<v Speaker 2>I don't need you love yes or no, that's the

0:36:08.440 --> 0:36:09.600
<v Speaker 2>energy I want in my house.

0:36:09.840 --> 0:36:12.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm going Kim just because it would just be such

0:36:12.880 --> 0:36:15.799
<v Speaker 1>a flex to have. Yeah, and she's got kids.

0:36:15.800 --> 0:36:16.799
<v Speaker 2>It wouldn't be cheap though.

0:36:17.360 --> 0:36:20.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm not paying. Oh I'm not paying, like

0:36:20.120 --> 0:36:22.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm fuck whos gonn afford Kim Kardashian to look after

0:36:22.680 --> 0:36:25.680
<v Speaker 1>your kids. I'm just doing it purely for like, for

0:36:25.719 --> 0:36:28.279
<v Speaker 1>the flex, for the flex of like I mean, I

0:36:28.680 --> 0:36:31.520
<v Speaker 1>actually would she be a bad mum? I mean, I'm

0:36:31.520 --> 0:36:33.960
<v Speaker 1>sure she's got an army of helpers. Oh yeah, I'm

0:36:33.960 --> 0:36:37.319
<v Speaker 1>sure she's never This is me judging. I'm sure she's

0:36:37.360 --> 0:36:40.000
<v Speaker 1>never like in the trenches trying to feed her kids.

0:36:40.000 --> 0:36:42.640
<v Speaker 1>She's got probably like a list of fourteen people before

0:36:42.640 --> 0:36:44.680
<v Speaker 1>her before she has to get on her hands and

0:36:44.719 --> 0:36:45.440
<v Speaker 1>knees and get in.

0:36:45.480 --> 0:36:50.080
<v Speaker 2>Then she got her hands and knees. I'm going to

0:36:50.160 --> 0:36:52.920
<v Speaker 2>go with Scott Dissick because you've gone Kim k And

0:36:52.960 --> 0:36:55.440
<v Speaker 2>I realized, and I'm just gonna say that is because

0:36:55.440 --> 0:36:57.720
<v Speaker 2>I went down the wormhole the other day of watching

0:36:57.760 --> 0:37:00.640
<v Speaker 2>Scott Dissick videos on TikTok, and I need that sort

0:37:00.640 --> 0:37:03.080
<v Speaker 2>of energy in this house because I think I would

0:37:03.120 --> 0:37:06.000
<v Speaker 2>have a lot of fun and my kids would have

0:37:06.040 --> 0:37:06.640
<v Speaker 2>a lot of fun.

0:37:06.920 --> 0:37:09.560
<v Speaker 1>Because if you're out, okay, I'm going to change mind. Yeah,

0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:10.799
<v Speaker 1>Princess Diana.

0:37:10.960 --> 0:37:12.919
<v Speaker 2>Which is dead, we can bring it back.

0:37:13.480 --> 0:37:15.239
<v Speaker 1>But why because she's beautiful?

0:37:15.320 --> 0:37:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh fuck, Matthew, please, I have a question for you.

0:37:22.640 --> 0:37:22.920
<v Speaker 1>Please.

0:37:23.560 --> 0:37:26.640
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything you said you'd never do as a

0:37:26.680 --> 0:37:29.840
<v Speaker 2>parent that you now do all the time?

0:37:30.680 --> 0:37:32.320
<v Speaker 1>M Yeah, there's a lot of things.

0:37:32.600 --> 0:37:33.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a lot of things.

0:37:33.400 --> 0:37:37.680
<v Speaker 1>Obviously. The most prominent one would be the iPad situation, Like,

0:37:37.719 --> 0:37:40.520
<v Speaker 1>holy shit, I used to judge parents.

0:37:40.719 --> 0:37:43.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I used to be like, I'm never gonna do that.

0:37:43.360 --> 0:37:46.239
<v Speaker 2>Ah man, I went out the window immediately.

0:37:46.560 --> 0:37:50.040
<v Speaker 1>Kids. I would if I saw a family with young

0:37:50.120 --> 0:37:52.880
<v Speaker 1>kids with iPads at the dinner table at a restaurant,

0:37:52.920 --> 0:37:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I would be like, oh never.

0:37:55.200 --> 0:37:57.800
<v Speaker 2>Now we get it completely totally.

0:37:57.880 --> 0:38:01.160
<v Speaker 1>You gotta it's amazing. You've been at my sister's house.

0:38:01.200 --> 0:38:03.319
<v Speaker 1>I remember, like, because she's got the three kids when

0:38:03.640 --> 0:38:05.600
<v Speaker 1>one of them is not being injured in a hospital.

0:38:06.080 --> 0:38:09.959
<v Speaker 2>Sorry, George, Sorry George was setting up that really Dodgy ramp.

0:38:10.520 --> 0:38:12.279
<v Speaker 1>So were my kids and her kids are together on

0:38:12.320 --> 0:38:14.759
<v Speaker 1>a Friday, we might have dinner. It is chaos. It

0:38:14.800 --> 0:38:16.919
<v Speaker 1>is absolutely Oh yeah, kids are going mental. We feed

0:38:16.920 --> 0:38:18.799
<v Speaker 1>the kids first and we give them iPads to put

0:38:18.840 --> 0:38:21.360
<v Speaker 1>TV on, and it's just like a drug. It's like

0:38:21.400 --> 0:38:24.880
<v Speaker 1>a sedative. They're just like forty five minutes.

0:38:24.640 --> 0:38:26.759
<v Speaker 2>And then any luck, they fall asleep and you're like,

0:38:27.040 --> 0:38:29.120
<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, that's the stuff.

0:38:29.200 --> 0:38:32.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean. Don't get me wrong. You don't always rely

0:38:32.239 --> 0:38:33.520
<v Speaker 1>on the iPad twenty four to seven.

0:38:33.600 --> 0:38:36.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah you do. I've got a quite and actually I've

0:38:36.600 --> 0:38:38.960
<v Speaker 2>got a really quick question for you as well. And

0:38:39.040 --> 0:38:41.239
<v Speaker 2>I'll probably going to ruffle a couple of feathers year,

0:38:41.280 --> 0:38:44.000
<v Speaker 2>but whatever, I don't really give a fuck. Parents who

0:38:44.080 --> 0:38:48.719
<v Speaker 2>put their kids on the leads, yeah, yeah, going on,

0:38:48.840 --> 0:38:51.160
<v Speaker 2>it's like before you had kids, you like, I'm never

0:38:51.200 --> 0:38:54.520
<v Speaker 2>going to do that. I haven't done that. I put

0:38:54.560 --> 0:38:56.799
<v Speaker 2>a leg rope on Oscar once, but just because he

0:38:56.920 --> 0:38:58.719
<v Speaker 2>was like, put this on my wrist, and I was

0:38:58.800 --> 0:39:01.600
<v Speaker 2>just like, actually, this is kind of nice.

0:39:02.800 --> 0:39:04.400
<v Speaker 1>Is this at home or was this out in public?

0:39:04.440 --> 0:39:05.720
<v Speaker 2>I was just here, this was in the garage.

0:39:05.719 --> 0:39:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you like took it for a test run.

0:39:07.239 --> 0:39:08.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because he was like, picked up one of my

0:39:09.000 --> 0:39:10.440
<v Speaker 2>leg rights and he was like putting this on like

0:39:10.440 --> 0:39:13.239
<v Speaker 2>a wristband. I was like sweet, and then he's like

0:39:13.320 --> 0:39:15.000
<v Speaker 2>moving towards the door and I gave it a yank

0:39:15.040 --> 0:39:20.160
<v Speaker 2>and he was like and I was like, this says no,

0:39:20.239 --> 0:39:24.120
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't the backpack lead. It's so it's kind of

0:39:24.120 --> 0:39:26.840
<v Speaker 2>a bit demeaning, and I'm sorry it is.

0:39:27.360 --> 0:39:29.040
<v Speaker 1>It is absolutely demeaning.

0:39:29.040 --> 0:39:31.160
<v Speaker 2>If you do it to your kid, that's fine, that's

0:39:31.200 --> 0:39:35.080
<v Speaker 2>your decision. I'm not gonna judge you. Actually, I'm going

0:39:35.160 --> 0:39:40.759
<v Speaker 2>to judge you. That's fucked up. Why I don't even

0:39:40.760 --> 0:39:43.200
<v Speaker 2>put the dog on a lead because I feel bad

0:39:43.239 --> 0:39:43.960
<v Speaker 2>when I yank it?

0:39:44.760 --> 0:39:48.319
<v Speaker 1>Okay. I think it depends on the kid though, right,

0:39:48.520 --> 0:39:50.120
<v Speaker 1>Like if you've got a kid who was like a

0:39:50.200 --> 0:39:53.360
<v Speaker 1>runner or she's a runner, ye, little boy, little boys

0:39:53.400 --> 0:39:56.359
<v Speaker 1>like Miley's pretty good in that. It's stressful. Okay, you're

0:39:56.400 --> 0:39:58.879
<v Speaker 1>going to like the Easter Show and then you're going

0:39:58.880 --> 0:40:00.439
<v Speaker 1>with Oscar and he's going to run away.

0:40:00.520 --> 0:40:04.560
<v Speaker 2>He's going to you know, yeah, I think where in

0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:07.080
<v Speaker 2>that situation, I'm like, fine, but like, look, if your

0:40:07.160 --> 0:40:10.239
<v Speaker 2>child is a prominent runner away or that's not going

0:40:10.280 --> 0:40:15.200
<v Speaker 2>to call it well said. Rather, then if you're near

0:40:15.239 --> 0:40:18.600
<v Speaker 2>a road and stuff, fine, because look, you hear about

0:40:18.640 --> 0:40:20.000
<v Speaker 2>it all the time where a kid gets you by car.

0:40:20.400 --> 0:40:23.160
<v Speaker 2>Fuck that would suck. So look, I take back to

0:40:24.440 --> 0:40:26.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't take it all back. I take it. If

0:40:26.640 --> 0:40:28.680
<v Speaker 2>your kid's a runner and you've got them on a lead,

0:40:29.040 --> 0:40:31.680
<v Speaker 2>and it's like, look it's a life and death situation,

0:40:32.080 --> 0:40:35.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm fine with that. But if you're just in a

0:40:35.440 --> 0:40:38.719
<v Speaker 2>shopping center walking your kid on a lead for the

0:40:38.800 --> 0:40:40.920
<v Speaker 2>sake of because it's easier and convenient for.

0:40:40.960 --> 0:40:45.680
<v Speaker 1>You, hang on a second, hang on it ash. You can't.

0:40:45.760 --> 0:40:46.640
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't make any sense.

0:40:46.680 --> 0:40:48.160
<v Speaker 2>You can't to hate them.

0:40:48.239 --> 0:40:52.839
<v Speaker 1>You can't be someone that says yes to iPads twenty

0:40:52.880 --> 0:40:53.799
<v Speaker 1>four to seven.

0:40:53.600 --> 0:40:54.799
<v Speaker 2>And then draw.

0:40:56.719 --> 0:40:58.040
<v Speaker 1>That doesn't fucking make any sense.

0:40:58.080 --> 0:40:59.240
<v Speaker 2>My opinion means nothing.

0:40:59.440 --> 0:41:00.480
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't make any sense.

0:41:00.840 --> 0:41:03.120
<v Speaker 2>But I'm just going to say the lead things a

0:41:03.120 --> 0:41:04.240
<v Speaker 2>bit demeaning. What do you reckon?

0:41:05.120 --> 0:41:06.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, look.

0:41:07.640 --> 0:41:08.040
<v Speaker 2>You cancel.

0:41:10.239 --> 0:41:11.360
<v Speaker 1>I've never done one before.

0:41:11.520 --> 0:41:13.640
<v Speaker 2>No me, I've done the leg rope. But that's about it.

0:41:13.640 --> 0:41:15.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you're visually visually, it's just.

0:41:15.920 --> 0:41:17.840
<v Speaker 2>Because you put it on a backpack doesn't make it

0:41:17.880 --> 0:41:20.480
<v Speaker 2>any better. Just put it around its neck like a

0:41:20.520 --> 0:41:21.440
<v Speaker 2>dog and move on.

0:41:23.200 --> 0:41:25.080
<v Speaker 1>I want to get you a lead. I want to

0:41:25.120 --> 0:41:27.239
<v Speaker 1>get you on, not just the leg rope one. I

0:41:27.320 --> 0:41:30.400
<v Speaker 1>want to get a proper lead that's designed for crazy

0:41:30.400 --> 0:41:31.800
<v Speaker 1>toddlers and put.

0:41:31.640 --> 0:41:32.040
<v Speaker 2>It on me.

0:41:33.400 --> 0:41:34.680
<v Speaker 1>No, I want you to use it for a while.

0:41:34.680 --> 0:41:37.239
<v Speaker 2>No, I won't. I won't use it because, honestly, look,

0:41:37.480 --> 0:41:39.200
<v Speaker 2>if I'm being honest, it's a bit fucked.

0:41:39.200 --> 0:41:41.600
<v Speaker 1>That don't make any sense. It's like you love birkenstocks,

0:41:41.640 --> 0:41:44.560
<v Speaker 1>then you won't wear cross but then you won't have a.

0:41:44.560 --> 0:41:46.640
<v Speaker 2>Bay and round me out as a person. I had

0:41:46.680 --> 0:41:49.839
<v Speaker 2>a question. I asked you for your answer. You gave

0:41:49.880 --> 0:41:51.600
<v Speaker 2>me a weird look and said it's a bit demeaning.

0:41:51.960 --> 0:41:52.959
<v Speaker 2>Let's leave it on that.

0:41:53.239 --> 0:41:54.239
<v Speaker 1>Sure, and.

0:41:55.719 --> 0:42:01.879
<v Speaker 2>Free the lead. On that note, I think it's time

0:42:01.960 --> 0:42:04.720
<v Speaker 2>we said goodbye. And I'm sorry if I've annoyed anyone

0:42:04.719 --> 0:42:07.320
<v Speaker 2>with that leash thing. But no, fucking get over yourself.

0:42:07.760 --> 0:42:09.840
<v Speaker 2>How dare you go through life and not be offended?

0:42:10.320 --> 0:42:15.799
<v Speaker 1>If you enjoyed this episode, somehow love a review will

0:42:15.880 --> 0:42:16.800
<v Speaker 1>be really amazing.

0:42:16.880 --> 0:42:20.000
<v Speaker 2>We not the leash people away from the reviews.

0:42:21.360 --> 0:42:24.600
<v Speaker 1>Man, the leash people, they're opinionated. You offend the leash people,

0:42:24.760 --> 0:42:25.799
<v Speaker 1>and you're in trouble.

0:42:25.560 --> 0:42:28.560
<v Speaker 2>Free the leash Free That okay, they're going to be

0:42:28.640 --> 0:42:29.640
<v Speaker 2>knocking on my door going.

0:42:29.480 --> 0:42:32.800
<v Speaker 1>How d you don't know what? People who ashes offended

0:42:32.840 --> 0:42:34.320
<v Speaker 1>so fast since the podcast started.

0:42:36.239 --> 0:42:41.560
<v Speaker 2>Country and Lea People, the leash users. Did you see that?

0:42:41.680 --> 0:42:45.040
<v Speaker 2>Actually banning crocs now in shopping centers, airports and trains.

0:42:45.040 --> 0:42:45.719
<v Speaker 1>That's bullshit.

0:42:45.800 --> 0:42:47.640
<v Speaker 2>That's such about times.

0:42:47.680 --> 0:42:51.640
<v Speaker 1>Just it's just the media using like click okay.

0:42:51.400 --> 0:42:52.200
<v Speaker 2>Donald.

0:42:53.360 --> 0:42:56.040
<v Speaker 1>Fake news, fake news.

0:42:56.200 --> 0:42:57.400
<v Speaker 2>People keep on talking.

0:42:57.680 --> 0:42:59.000
<v Speaker 1>That's a terrible impersonation.

0:42:59.040 --> 0:43:00.400
<v Speaker 2>I can't do it. I don't I know.

0:43:01.360 --> 0:43:02.640
<v Speaker 1>No stuffer right there.

0:43:02.960 --> 0:43:05.919
<v Speaker 2>Follow us on Instagram, Yes, please follow us and yeah,

0:43:06.000 --> 0:43:08.520
<v Speaker 2>just reminder, get your ordinary stories in, get your lives in.

0:43:10.000 --> 0:43:19.959
<v Speaker 1>We'll see you next week. Good bye bye. Two Doting

0:43:20.040 --> 0:43:24.160
<v Speaker 1>Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia

0:43:24.280 --> 0:43:26.840
<v Speaker 1>and the connections to land, see and community.

0:43:27.080 --> 0:43:29.600
<v Speaker 2>We pay our respects to their elders past and present

0:43:29.640 --> 0:43:32.680
<v Speaker 2>and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island

0:43:32.680 --> 0:43:36.399
<v Speaker 2>the people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land