1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,400 Speaker 1: When I think about my place as a parent and 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: I think about those two words help or hurt, I 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: want to be the helpful parent. I want to be 4 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: the parent that is able to guide and direct, not hurt. 5 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: It's a Happy Family's podcast, the podcast for the time 6 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 2: poor parent. He Yes Wants Answers. 7 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 3: Now, you know, I think that if I was to 8 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 3: rate the most often asked question I'm given when it 9 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:31,480 Speaker 3: comes to raising kids, discipline would be the number one question. 10 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 3: How do I get my kids to do as they're told? 11 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 3: How do I get my kids to listen? What I 12 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 3: do to my kids when they don't do the right thing. 13 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 3: It's just all about discipline. It's the thing that drives 14 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 3: parents bonkers. 15 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we're all waiting for that ready made 16 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: manual that tells us how to. 17 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 2: Do it all. It's about kid's perfect. 18 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: Because every moment is different, right, Every child is different, 19 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: and the way we deal with each child in different 20 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 1: situations is different. It's really challenging. 21 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. 22 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 3: In fact, the most watched video that I've ever been 23 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 3: involved in was on gold Cast. I think there's been 24 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 3: something like seventy eight million people watch the video. And 25 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 3: it's really a story about how to discipline a child. 26 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 3: That's what everyone loved about it. Everyone wanted to know 27 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 3: how to do it, and they liked the compassion that 28 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 3: was behind the discipline. Oh by the way, my name 29 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 3: is Doc Justin Courson and the author of six books 30 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 3: about raising happy Families. I'm here with my wife and 31 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 3: co host missus Happy Families, Kylie, mum to our six daughters. 32 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: Tonight. You're talking about the dos and don'ts of discipline 33 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: and there is so much in this. 34 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 3: So just a quick heads up for people who are 35 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,559 Speaker 3: not aware of this. Every single month we do a webinar. 36 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 3: We charge thirty bucks for the webinar, and we give 37 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 3: you the very best, the latest science, the most practical 38 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 3: techniques about how you can work with your kids to 39 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 3: make your family happier. So obviously this one's all about disciline. 40 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 3: Let's talk about that in a sec But for people 41 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 3: who want to know a bit more, we have this 42 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,559 Speaker 3: thing called a Happy Family's membership, and instead of paying 43 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 3: thirty dollars to watch the webinar, you pay either twelve 44 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 3: dollars a month or seventeen dollars a month and you 45 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 3: get the webinar and so many other things to make 46 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 3: your family happier. Like the resource list is as long 47 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 3: as your arm. So if you would like to attend 48 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 3: the webinar, we'd love to have you there. That's tonight. 49 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 3: But if you would like to have ongoing monthly support, 50 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 3: jump out of the Happy Families website happy families dot com, 51 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 3: dot you and check out the Happy Families membership because 52 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 3: that way you get all of the webinars, and you 53 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 3: get them for a fraction of the price of what 54 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 3: you pay for them normally. 55 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 2: Plus you get all those other resources. 56 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 3: Anyway, that's the shameless plug for the membership, which I 57 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 3: love and which We've got a very large family who 58 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 3: are now part of that, and I love the fact 59 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:31,839 Speaker 3: that we get to help them. 60 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 2: Let's talk about tonight's webinar. 61 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: Well, I've had a little bit of a sneak peek 62 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: at your presentation tonight, and. 63 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 3: Not a sneak peak. You've read the presentation inside. 64 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: I don't even know where to start. There is so 65 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: much information in here, and I wish that we could 66 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: tell everybody about all of it. 67 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 3: Can you start with the I got a message from 68 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 3: somebody about the dos and don'ts of discipline webinar for tonight, 69 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,359 Speaker 3: and can we just talk about that for a second. 70 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,799 Speaker 3: Not that I'm into parents shaming, okay, because I don't 71 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 3: want to make people feel like they should be ashamed, 72 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,080 Speaker 3: but some people, right, well, this. 73 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: Comment that came through flawed me. I actually wondered whether 74 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: it was real. I had to ask you. 75 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 2: I just. 76 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,679 Speaker 1: She just said, if people don't know how to raise 77 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: a child without being taught, I would suggest they rethink 78 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: before they breed. 79 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,079 Speaker 3: Because everybody knows how to raise children before they have them, right. 80 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: I just love that. 81 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 3: It's kind of like saying, if you don't know how 82 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 3: to operate before you become a doctor, then don't even 83 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 3: bother becoming one. So some people are discouraging their friends 84 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 3: from participating in THETIS, and dads are just We've actually 85 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 3: got a friend that had a great conversation with a 86 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 3: maid of mine, a mutual friend, Tim, who had some 87 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 3: friends come over to his place and they were admiring 88 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 3: the bookshelf because you know, the bookshelf is a bit 89 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 3: of a status symbol, and in the home people come 90 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 3: over and look at the kind of books you read. 91 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 2: They're like, oh, yes, you are. 92 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: It's so much a status symbol. But it can give 93 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: you a very good insight. 94 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 2: It shows you who you're really talking to, doesn't it. 95 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 3: So these people were looking at Tim's bookshelf and they've 96 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 3: said to Tim and Marianne, you guys have got all 97 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 3: these parenting books on your bookshelf. What have you got 98 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 3: them for? You're already such great parents. He just kind 99 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 3: of look like, Yeah, it kind of goes the other 100 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 3: way around. We've read the books and that's why we 101 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: do it. Okay as parents. Anyway, let's talk about this 102 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 3: webinar because I want to help everyone to be a 103 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 3: better parent when it comes to discipline and their kids. 104 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: Well, I guess, I guess. The first question I've got 105 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 1: for you, justin is you know, what is this? What 106 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: is discipline and how does it impact the way we 107 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: interact with our children in tough moments. 108 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 3: I love this question because there's a fundamental flaw in 109 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 3: the way people understand discipline, not just in Australia, but 110 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 3: I think in Western society generally. When we think about 111 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:53,239 Speaker 3: disciplining kids, we usually think about getting them in trouble 112 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 3: for doing stuff wrong. Like that's just the standard answer. 113 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: Discipline means getting kids in trouble off an to appear 114 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,160 Speaker 3: in the media to talk about whether or not it's 115 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 3: okay to discipline other people's kids. And what the question 116 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 3: really is is, if somebody's child does something I don't like, 117 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 3: can I get them in trouble? 118 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: On? 119 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 3: How can I get them in trouble? It's that kind 120 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 3: of thing. But that's not what discipline means. Well, it 121 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 3: kind of does. If you look at today's dictionary, discipline 122 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 3: just has one word beside it punish punishment. But if 123 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 3: you look at older dictionaries from back when the word 124 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 3: was invented, discipline actually comes from the Latin disciples, which 125 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,559 Speaker 3: means to teach or to guide, to show the way. 126 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 2: And I think if we think about. 127 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:38,280 Speaker 3: Discipline that way, discipline's about showing the way when our 128 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 3: children make mistakes, when our children behave in challenging ways, 129 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 3: when our children lose the plot, they don't need us 130 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 3: to punish them. 131 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 2: Like if I was to distill. 132 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,359 Speaker 3: The word punishment down to one very simple word, it 133 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 3: would be hurt. You know, when you punish someone, you 134 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 3: make them pay a price, You exact retribution. You've done 135 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,919 Speaker 3: the wrong thing, And here's. 136 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 2: How it's going to hurt you. 137 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,679 Speaker 3: Punishment is all about hurting, discipline, showing the way, teaching 138 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 3: and guiding and instructing. 139 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 2: That's all about helping. Yeah. 140 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: When I think about my place as a parent and 141 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 1: I think about those two words help or hurt, I 142 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: want to be the helpful parent. I want to be 143 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: the parent that you know is able to guide and direct, 144 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: not hurt, and you know, dish out consequences. 145 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, and consequences is just another word for punishment. Like 146 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 3: people are like, I don't want to punish them, but 147 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 3: there does need to be consequences, And I'm like, well, 148 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 3: it's kind of the same thing as a euphemistic soft 149 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 3: way of saying I don't want. 150 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 2: To hurt them, but I'm gonna have to hurt. I've 151 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 2: got to hurt them. They've done the wrong thing. 152 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 3: So I reckon, why why don't we spend a few 153 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 3: minutes in just a sec unpacking some of the do's 154 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 3: and don'ts of discipline to give people a taste of 155 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 3: what we're going to talk about tonight. 156 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast. 157 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 1: For a happier family, try a Happy Families membership, because 158 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: a happy family doesn't just happen. 159 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 3: Details at happy families dot com dot au. 160 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, and we are talking about 161 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: the dos and don'ts of discipline. Now, obviously you've got 162 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 1: you've got, you've got a list here of does and 163 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: don't let's. 164 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,679 Speaker 3: Unpack a few of those, Okay, I think we should 165 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 3: dive into them. When you looked at the list, what 166 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 3: intrigued you the most? Because you've heard me talk about 167 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 3: this sort of stuff for years, So one that stood out. 168 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: To me the most, like literally the very first one 169 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 1: that I just love and you know, going back to 170 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 1: that hurt or helpful parent, I want to be the 171 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: helpful parent. The idea that children are people too. 172 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, So we kind of forget sometimes that children are people. 173 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 3: We just think that they're robots, that they should do 174 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 3: what they're told when they're told, and when they don't, 175 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 3: we kind of become agitated and irritated. It's like, no, no, no, no, 176 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 3: I told you to do something, so just do it. 177 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 3: We forget that they've got feelings, that they've got hopes 178 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 3: and dreams, that they've got preferences, that they're in the 179 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 3: middle of their favorite show ever, and I know it's 180 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 3: always their favorite. 181 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 2: Show ever, every single time. It doesn't matter what show 182 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 2: it is. Like, oh, but this is the best episode. 183 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: It's my favorite show. 184 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 3: But every now and again it just helps if we 185 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 3: can step into their shoes and see the world through 186 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 3: their eyes. Remember what it was like to be little 187 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 3: and they have this big person always bossing them. 188 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, when I was growing up, there was 189 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: you know, it was this whole idea of children as 190 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: supposed to be seen but not heard. And I love 191 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: this concept that children are people too because I feel 192 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: like it tells me that we're evolving as individuals and 193 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: as parents. 194 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 195 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 3: Doctor Luise Porter actually wrote a book called Children Are 196 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 3: People Too, and it's. 197 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 2: A beautiful book. 198 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 3: I really really recommend it, and it talks about just 199 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 3: this issue that we forget. I mean, how many of 200 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 3: us can really remember what it was like to before 201 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 3: or even to be fourteen, and what our hopes and 202 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 3: our desires and our preferences were then. But the more 203 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 3: we can step into and remember that, the more likely 204 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 3: it is that as parents we're going to be more 205 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 3: compassionate and more helpful in the way we discipline our kids. 206 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,360 Speaker 3: That is the way we teach them, the way we 207 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 3: show them, the way. 208 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 1: I guess the next one that taps into that beautifully 209 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: is that people matter, things don't. 210 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,719 Speaker 3: So my favorite I'm going to share this story in 211 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 3: the webinar. So if you're watching the webinar and you've 212 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 3: listened to the podcast, spoiler alert, just letting you know. 213 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 3: So some years ago, one of our kids went to 214 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 3: a conference. She came back from the conference and told 215 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 3: us this story, and it was amazing, so amazing that 216 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 3: I got in touch with the guy that was involved 217 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 3: in the story and got permissioned to be able to 218 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 3: share the story myself and let everyone know about it 219 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 3: because it was such a beautiful story. So this guy 220 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 3: works for a major software company in the United States, 221 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 3: had to go and present a conference into state and 222 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 3: for whatever reason, something went wrong with his laptop. His 223 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 3: laptop completely died. The shops were closing. He didn't have 224 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,719 Speaker 3: time to go and buy a new laptop. And even 225 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 3: if he had time to go and buy a new laptop, 226 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 3: he wasn't going to have time to set it up, 227 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 3: put all of his programs on it, and all that 228 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 3: kind of thing. This was back before we did everything 229 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 3: in the cloud, so you know, we've got to go 230 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 3: back a few years for this. Anyway, he is desperate, 231 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 3: doesn't know what to do, and then thinks, I know, 232 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,319 Speaker 3: I'll see if the neighbor's got a spare laptop. Well, 233 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,320 Speaker 3: it so happens that the neighbor had just bought a 234 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 3: brand new one that week, had just finished setting it up. 235 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 2: It was literally brand new out of. 236 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 3: The box, just set up, literally hadn't used it himself 237 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 3: at all, and said, you know what, I'll just keep 238 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 3: using mind for another few days. You take my brand 239 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 3: new one, because then you won't have any problems. Take 240 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 3: it to the conference, use it when you come back. 241 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:20,679 Speaker 2: I'll grab it off you. Then. 242 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 3: So this guy says, thanks so much, that's amazing. He 243 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 3: borrows the laptop, he loads all of his programs on there, 244 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 3: it's got it all set to go, flies away does 245 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 3: the conference, comes back late at night, crashes out. The 246 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 3: next morning, he comes into the kitchen, and of course 247 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 3: the first thing that he's going to do that day 248 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 3: is drop the laptop back to the neighbor and say. 249 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. 250 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 3: But when he walks into the kitchen, he sees his 251 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 3: son doing something he's not supposed to be doing. His 252 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 3: little I think four year old son is riding his 253 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 3: skateboard around the kitchen, around the kitchen bench around the 254 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 3: kitchen island sort of thing, and he's like, hey, son, 255 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,079 Speaker 3: you're not allowed to do that. What are you writing escape? 256 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 3: And then he's like, hang on, we don't have a skateboard. 257 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 2: Oh no. 258 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 3: He looks down and his son has gotten the brand 259 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 3: new laptop and screen down, keyboard down. He's skating around 260 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 3: the kitchen bench on the laptop. And so you know, 261 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 3: this guy is just freaking out. His thinking, Oh, number one, 262 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 3: this is so embarrassing. Number two, he's destroyed the laptop. 263 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 3: Number three, we don't really have the money to be 264 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 3: buying a new laptop to replace somebody's brand new laptop 265 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 3: because I've already got to buy my own new one anyway. 266 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 2: And so he's freaking out. 267 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: This is a disaster waiting to have a massive, massive problem. 268 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 3: And as you can imagine, the four year old cops 269 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 3: his wrath right like, this did not go well for 270 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 3: the four year old. It's like, what are you doing? 271 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 3: And he was trying to be nice to the four 272 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 3: year old, but he wasn't nice to the four year old. 273 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 3: It didn't go well at all. So then he's kind 274 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 3: of going through this thing, what do I do about 275 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 3: the laptop? So he just doesn't go back to the neighbor. 276 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 3: He just hangs on to the laptop. 277 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 2: For a day. And then two days and three days neighbors. 278 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,679 Speaker 1: Have stopped talking over less than this. 279 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:57,439 Speaker 2: This is serious. 280 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 3: And finally one day he's out the front and he'd 281 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 3: been avoiding the neighbor completely, but the neighbor drives in 282 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 3: the driveway while he's out in the front yard and 283 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 3: he's like, oh, no, he's seen me, and so he 284 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 3: gives him a wave and then he goes inside, and 285 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 3: about thirty seconds later, there's sort of this oh, I 286 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 3: have a knock. 287 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,120 Speaker 2: On the door, and he's like, oh, what am I 288 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 2: going to do? 289 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 3: And the neighbor's standing there smiling and says, hey, how 290 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 3: you doing, And he says, I'm good, and he says, so, 291 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 3: I've noticed you've been avoiding me lately, Like the neighbor 292 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 3: is just so upfront about it, and he goes, no, no, 293 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 3: I haven't really been avoiding enough. 294 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,480 Speaker 2: It's been really busy. 295 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 3: He says, Oh, okay, no problem. I thought you might 296 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 3: have been avoiding me because maybe something's happened to the laptop, 297 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 3: like he's just cold and just set it straight up. 298 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,319 Speaker 3: And so obviously, the guy goes, oh, yeah, well about 299 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 3: the laptop, and so he tells him what happens, and 300 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,559 Speaker 3: he's expecting this frustration. 301 00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 2: He's expecting maybe even an eruption. You know. He's like, really, 302 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 2: I've really blown it. 303 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 3: The neighbor looks at him and says, well, I hope 304 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 3: you didn't get your son in too much trouble. And 305 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 3: he's like, I beg your pardon. 306 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:00,840 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. 307 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 3: He says, people matter, things don't. Oh is that a 308 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 3: great story? And I think that if we can remember 309 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 3: that way, like our kids aren't trying to break the VARs, 310 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 3: they're not trying to put a hole. And well, I 311 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 3: mean every now and again and anger, maybe they do 312 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 3: the wrong thing, but if they do the wrong thing 313 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:22,079 Speaker 3: intentionally out of anger, then they matter even more because 314 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 3: they're struggling that much. People matter, not things. So that's 315 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 3: just a taste of what we're going to talk about. 316 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 3: I mean, I could talk for ages and ages and ages, 317 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 3: but clearly we don't have time. 318 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 2: For the whole webinar right now. But that's happening tonight. 319 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 3: The do's and don'ts of discipline, and if you can 320 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,720 Speaker 3: make it, it would be awesome to have you there. 321 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 3: If you miss it, you can buy it in the 322 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 3: Happy Family's shop. Because not everybody listens to the podcast 323 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 3: the day that we put it out there, obviously, but 324 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,360 Speaker 3: it would be so cool to have you as part 325 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 3: of the Happy Families membership so that you can participate 326 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,679 Speaker 3: in all of the webinars where I tell all of 327 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 3: those stories and I think I've got about another ten. 328 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 2: Dos and don'ts have discipline that we're going to talk 329 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 2: about tonight. So many can't wait for it. So glad 330 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 2: you gave me the chance to tell that story on 331 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 2: the spot. I love it. 332 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 3: Hey, if you're enjoying the podcast, we'd love for you 333 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 3: to tell everybody about it by jumping onto Apple Podcasts 334 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 3: on leaving a rating and a review. 335 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 2: Those five star ratings and all of your reviews. 336 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 3: Help other people to find out about the podcast and 337 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 3: make their families happier, to help their kids know that 338 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 3: people matter things don't, or at least that people matter 339 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 3: more than things because things kind of matter a little 340 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 3: bit sometimes. If you can leave that rating and a review, 341 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 3: we can help other families be happier. 342 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Justin rule On from Bridge Media. 343 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 3: For producing the podcast, and to our executive producer, Craig Bruce. 344 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 3: If you'd like more info about how to make your 345 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 3: family flourish, and especially our Happy Families memberships, you can 346 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 3: get all the info at happy families dot com dot 347 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 3: au