1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: The Women Woody podcast that bite sized. 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 2: Can you get angry at someone who doesn't wave thanks 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 2: when you're letting them in? And the reason I'm bringing 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 2: up is because it's come up in the studio the 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 2: other day. What are you and now? Button Bush and 6 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 2: George absolutely adamant. 7 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 3: We were popping off, weren't we, George? 8 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 2: We were popping off. He's my techniques. Awful guys, He's 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 2: a button pusher. So why do you get so annoyed? 10 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 3: I think it's just because if you, if you take 11 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 3: the time to go look, I'll even flash my lights out. Yeah, 12 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 3: I've pulled to the side here. 13 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,319 Speaker 2: Oh, you'll even flash your lights just to let him 14 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 2: know the full treatment. 15 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 3: So well, I've done double onto the effort, double point. 16 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,639 Speaker 3: I've flicked my lights to the side. And I might 17 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 3: be in a rush to get somewhere a pedicure. I 18 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 3: don't know why that came to my mind, but I 19 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,520 Speaker 3: might be laid to an appointment. I let them through. 20 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,880 Speaker 3: They know that they go through. If it's the simplest 21 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 3: thing to just go like cheers mate, Yeah, I really 22 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 3: appreciate it, and then I go. I enjoyed that oxytocin 23 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 3: because I've received some validation for doing a nice thing, 24 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 3: and then I move on for them not to do that. 25 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: It's just like I've just done you a favor, like 26 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,960 Speaker 2: get around me. So if we go back a step, 27 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 2: as I said before, would you not have done the 28 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:15,479 Speaker 2: favor if you knew that you weren't going to get 29 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:15,959 Speaker 2: the thanks? 30 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 3: No, I would. I probably wouldn't. Yeah, I wouldn't let 31 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 3: him if I if I could look into the future 32 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 3: and know they wouldn't appreciate the favor, Yeah, and I 33 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 3: would not let him in will Wow, I would almost accelerate, 34 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 3: not into a dangerous level. No, but I would be, 35 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 3: you know, quite stubbornly take up the middle of the road. 36 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 2: Are you the same, George, Yes, I am. It's just manners, 37 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 2: just general manners, just chivalry, chivalry, it's chivalry. 38 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:38,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 39 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 2: Interesting, we're about to. 40 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 3: Fall in a trap, aren't we feel we're about to 41 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 3: fall in a trap? 42 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 2: No, it's just interesting because I get annoyed as well. Yeah, 43 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 2: one hundred in annoyed as well. But the moment. But 44 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 2: the more I've been thinking about it, the more I 45 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 2: think that it's like a it's just a Really I 46 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 2: think that the demand or the need for reciprocity or 47 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: getting something back and you're doing good something good for 48 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 2: someone is can be a lot of what's wrong with 49 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 2: the world go on. Like I think that you know, 50 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 2: like when people you know, and sometimes when I used 51 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 2: to do when I used to do charity work, right, 52 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 2: So I'd go and work for charity and meet some 53 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 2: people there and you'd be like, oh, you know, you know, 54 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 2: you know, you talk about why you're doing it really 55 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 2: And one of the things that always irked me was 56 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 2: people that were like, oh, I just love it because 57 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,519 Speaker 2: you know, it makes me feel so good. Sure, and 58 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 2: I know that that charity makes me feel good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 59 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 2: because they're doing the charity work, of course, And I 60 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 2: know that's a side benefit of doing the charity work, 61 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 2: but that can't be the reason that you do the 62 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 2: charity work. 63 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 3: Right. 64 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 2: It's the same as when you give a Christmas present 65 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 2: to somebody at Christmas. You might get one back, but 66 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: you're not giving them the present so that you get 67 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:45,919 Speaker 2: one back. 68 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no, that's a bit off if you 69 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 3: do that. 70 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: And I think it's the same thing with doing the 71 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 2: favor for somebody in traffic and expecting a wave back. 72 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 2: I think it's weird if you're doing it and just 73 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 2: because you're expecting the wave back. 74 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 3: And I think, and I think, I don't go out 75 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 3: of my way to let people in just to get waves. 76 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 3: I don't get kicks off waves will if you think 77 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 3: you do. But you do that, I'm not some wave 78 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 3: you do. I don't drive home and go I'm gonna 79 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 3: let him forty five cars tonight and I'm going to 80 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 3: get damn waves. 81 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 2: But but that's part of it, though, because that's why 82 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 2: you get so annoyed when they don't wave at you. 83 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 2: Maybe it is because you get so annoyed You're like, 84 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 2: I've done this thing for you give me something back. 85 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 3: Yeah. 86 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 2: I just think that's strange. I can't wrap my head 87 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 2: around it. Yeah, because it's a nice thing to let 88 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 2: somebody in the traffic. It's a good thing to do. 89 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: But that nice thing, I think gets diluted if you're 90 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 2: only doing it because you expect them to wave at you, 91 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: because people get pissed off when they don't wave if 92 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 2: you do. Sometimes like the other day, Okay, so the 93 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 2: other day I was driving down the street. I had 94 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 2: the kid in the back. Yeah, right, I have Max 95 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 2: crying in the back. I was leaning over to put 96 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 2: a dummy in her mouth. I didn't even notice that 97 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 2: there was a car that had stopped for me. Oh, 98 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 2: I had no idea. Sure drove past the guy heard 99 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 2: a horn on the way out. It was me. 100 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 3: It was me, and I didn't realize Max was in 101 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 3: the car thirty one. 102 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 2: O six ' five. Can you get angry at someone 103 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 2: who doesn't wave thanks when you let him in? I 104 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 2: want even some other people. I don't know. Maybe I'm 105 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 2: blowing this up. Maybe I'm being ridiculous. Maybe it is 106 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 2: just man as it could be everything that's wrong with 107 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 2: the world. Can you get angry at someone for not 108 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 2: waving you when waving at you when you let them in? 109 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 2: Thirty one oh six y five. I think it's everything 110 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 2: that's wrong with the world, the fact that we all 111 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 2: expect something in return for the good that we do 112 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 2: for another person. 113 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 3: Do you want to see the death of thank you? 114 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: No? No, no, I don't. But again, it. 115 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 3: Isn't saying thank you that reckons. It's that recognition that 116 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 3: you've done something nice. You're saying if it's everything wrong 117 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 3: with the world, should we just not say thank you? 118 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 2: Well? I think that thank you is So if it's 119 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 2: a genuine thank you, if it's genuine gratitude involved, you're 120 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 2: saying it to the person because they've done something really 121 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 2: nice for you. But I think the issue there again 122 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,159 Speaker 2: is are you doing the thing for the person and 123 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,719 Speaker 2: because you expect to thank you? Would you still be 124 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 2: angry at them even if they didn't give the thank 125 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 2: you back to you? Would you still sorry? Would you 126 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 2: still do the deed if you knew that you weren't 127 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 2: going to get a thank you back? So really, I 128 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 2: don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's an easy 129 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,839 Speaker 2: thing to wrap your head around. Yeah yeah, I just 130 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 2: remember when I was on a I remember when I 131 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 2: was on a meditation retreat and they were trying to 132 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 2: teach this concept, this idea of unrequited love, giving and 133 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,359 Speaker 2: giving and giving and giving, And I know I've blown 134 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 2: this up into something far too big. I'm just talking 135 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,280 Speaker 2: about people waving it, others so thankful, letting them in 136 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 2: the traffic. But the example that they use to or 137 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 2: the like the little parable or a little proverb they 138 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 2: used was the sun never says to the earth, you 139 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 2: owe me for warming you up every day. It will 140 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 2: blow us up later though, no, it might blow up itself, 141 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,919 Speaker 2: it won't us up. But the sun never says to 142 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 2: the earth every day, you owe me for warming you 143 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 2: up every day. And then it goes under, say, look 144 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,359 Speaker 2: what happens to a love like that? And you know 145 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 2: we've got life. So that's the It's a nice message, 146 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 2: I know. But Katie, what do you reckon? I've caught you. 147 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:06,359 Speaker 2: Of course, I've got time for Buddhists, for Buddhist proverbs. 148 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,679 Speaker 2: What happened? 149 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 4: I'm ropeable literally as you were saying, it happened one 150 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 4: of those real obvious ones where like everyone knows the 151 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 4: left lanes ending, why you're still in it? But I thought, 152 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 4: you know what, I'll keep the vibes positive. I don't 153 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 4: need their toxic energy. I'll let them in. And that 154 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 4: shiny BMW driver went right in and nothing, not even 155 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 4: a finger up of her thank you, nothing absolute words. 156 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 4: I can't say, I'm. 157 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,359 Speaker 3: Radio yeah, give us the full number plate. 158 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, that's fine, let's fine. 159 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 4: I think. 160 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 2: I think everything that I've said in the last ten 161 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 2: minutes needs to go onto a cave and it doesn't 162 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 2: apply to BMW drivers. Think we just need to keep 163 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 2: you separate. 164 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 3: Let's go to Nicole here. Nicole, we're talking about whether 165 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 3: you get angry when you let someone into the traffic 166 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 3: and they don't wait that you. What's going on with you? 167 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: Yeah? So I actually got really super petty. A lady 168 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 1: didn't wait to me in the traffic, so I took 169 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: her number plate and I stewed on it for a 170 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: little bit and I was like, na, stuff, and I'm 171 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: doing it, and I reported her for littering. 172 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 2: Well for no reason. 173 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: She didn't say thank you, but she didn't really. 174 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 2: Why does it grind you so much? Nicole? I'll ask 175 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 2: you the same question that I asked before. Would you 176 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 2: let someone in if you knew they weren't going to 177 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 2: say thanks? 178 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: No? 179 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 2: Way? 180 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: No? 181 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 2: So do you only let them in so that you 182 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 2: can get the feeling of thanks that you've let someone in? 183 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 2: Is that the only reason you let someone in? No? 184 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,559 Speaker 1: I think you do it to be a decent human 185 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: and then you expect them to be a decent human back. 186 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 2: Okay, so the expectation that they're going to carry your 187 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 2: your your your humanity through. 188 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, your parents should raise you with manners, yes, No. 189 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 2: Man is a free like my mum always used to 190 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 2: say that as well. Good man is a free like. 191 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 2: It's not a hard I'm not saying it's a hard. 192 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 3: Thing to do, given that they don't weigh acknowledgement one 193 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 3: hundred percent their litteries as well, she's just joined the 194 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 3: duds there. 195 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, cologic there, there is, there's no. 196 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 3: Logic the study on that. The correlation between people who 197 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 3: don't weigh yes and people who lit. 198 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it would probably be high. I'm not saying it. 199 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 2: I'm not saying it would probably be high. But I'll 200 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 2: wrap all this up in a confusing hypothetical for everybody. 201 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 3: Again, it's perfect because I'm not done. 202 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 2: I'm not done. Do you do a good the question? 203 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 2: I mean it kind of comes down to doing good 204 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 2: things for bad people. Would you still do a good 205 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 2: thing for a bad person just because there they are 206 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 2: what you deem a bad person. That's what I'm That's 207 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,199 Speaker 2: what pisses people off. You go, you go, I've done 208 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 2: a good thing for you, and then I've just found 209 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 2: out that you're undeserving of that good thing. You're a 210 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 2: bad person. 211 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:05,080 Speaker 3: It must be hard for I know, doctors or paramedics 212 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 3: that you know go to particular scenes and they might 213 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 3: know that they are working on a person who has 214 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 3: inflicted a whole bunch of you know, vain on someone else, right, 215 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 3: and then they need to give them. Part of their 216 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,719 Speaker 3: job is to give them the utmost care psychologically. 217 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 2: That must be very really hard. Yeah gee whiz well, Donewards, 218 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 2: that's very good. Yeah, I'm right there, aren't I Yeah, 219 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:26,719 Speaker 2: hit it. 220 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 3: In the nucleus right there and then lost that. 221 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 2: I just got to stop when 222 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 4: More of the boys on the full podcast just scroll 223 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 4: up