WEBVTT - #95 Breakups, Balloon Fights And Bum Wipes 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:02.760 There are certain people, Ash, that you don't see for 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:05.400 a while, and then you see them and you go, shit, 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:10.120 I'm getting on, getting on, I'm getting old. 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:11.880 They're getting old, everyone's getting old. 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:15.440 I saw technically, as soon as you're born, you're getting old. True, 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.880 I'm not going to as soon as you're born, you're dying. Jeez, 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:19.599 very deep. 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:24.160 I saw Sarah Michelle Geller and what's her husband called? 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:32.240 And they were looking old, like retirement home old. No, yeah, 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:33.720 I mean they're still in love, still married. 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:35.600 But I was like with age. 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:37.680 I was like, I was like, good on them, Good 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:59.400 on them, Hollywood, surviving them, got no other options. Welcome 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:01.600 back to two Odding Dads. I am Maddie Jay and 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.920 I'm Ash. And this is a podcast that is all 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:10.680 about parenting. It is the good, the bad, and the relatable. 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:16.800 And if you've come for advice, chokes on you. Are 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:19.840 you a good I'm fine, joke's on you. Choke you. 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.880 Because we don't give it, Ash, I do I have 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:29.240 to ask you something? Wondering if we have just a 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:32.320 bit of time up us sleeve for a quick little drink. 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:35.679 You know we do quick little beer if you will, 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:37.720 what about a Byron Bay in a Bottle. 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:43.600 There he is. It's back, baby, here he is. Cheers, Hey, Talla. 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:50.480 Like a vacation to Byron Bay. 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:53.880 My next trip with the family really very close to 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:55.680 Byron Bay, Tweed Coast. 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:56.440 Sweet Coast. Baby. 0:01:56.440 --> 0:02:00.000 Do you know why I booked it? So I can 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.520 and go closer to where this bad boy is made. 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:04.480 I see and my parents. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:10.040 Inspired by Stonewood's home on the edge of the Pacific Ocean, 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:14.440 they brew this golden hazy Pacific out with all those 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.760 Australian bali and guess what they've. 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:18.720 Got, Matt Galaxy hops from Tazzy that. 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.760 Gives its big tropical fruit aromas flavors, and of course 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:24.080 it's refreshing taste ash. 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:27.760 That's why they call it Byron Bay in a Bottle Delicious. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.520 Yes, ask for a refreshing Pacific out at your local 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.360 bottle shop, pub or bar. And of course I'd love 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.320 to thank Stonewood for making this episode possible. 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:38.000 Cheers my friend, Cheers buddy. All right, what do you 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:38.400 got for me? 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:42.400 The sickness continues. I've been trying to avoid you, actually. 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:44.839 Not me, though I've been I'm just maybe I'm gonna 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:46.960 carry a pigeon. I don't know, and more so because 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.880 I speak to you about four times during the day 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:51.839 and I learn I actually have to apologize. The last 0:02:51.840 --> 0:02:54.320 few times you've called, I've been like, what is it 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:57.360 and you're like, I'm just driving, we'restling hello, and I'm like, 0:02:57.360 --> 0:02:58.960 if it's business, let's talk, it's not. 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:01.000 See you later, so fucking rude. 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:02.959 Well you just you're cool. I don't want to I 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.440 don't want to push you away. I just want to riff. 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:08.240 I want to riff. That's what this podcast is for. 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:10.040 Yeah, I know that you're given all the riff and 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.360 there's certain things that I can't bring to the table here. 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:15.200 This is an absolute safe place. You can say anything 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:16.959 here and not me, not a listener, no one is 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:17.560 going to judge you. 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:19.800 You're all going to regret that you don't want to know. 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:21.120 It's deep down I've. 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:22.760 Been pushing you away, but I only do that so 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:24.519 we come closer together on the podcast. 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:28.400 No, I don't like it. Sorry, you stop it immediately. 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:30.400 You have more illnesses. 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.600 Yes, afternoon, Oscar did a little spew and I thought, Fuck, 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:35.360 that's weird. Food's meant to go in your mouth, not 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:35.880 come out of it. 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.240 Ah, I'm not doctor. 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:43.880 I don't know doctor, but that's not right, April, do 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:45.480 you know what it was? He took himself off to 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:48.520 the toilet too to spew up, which is beautiful, hey, 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:51.920 credit credit to But then April still yelled out to 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:54.200 me like as like like I've got to come help. 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:55.760 It's like what am I going to help with? Not 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:56.440 a too man job? 0:03:57.200 --> 0:03:58.080 Like I want to stay it. 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:03.080 Oh oh and then again last night wait, so he 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:04.280 spewed it in the toilet. 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:07.680 Yeah, fine, clean, like a clean snap. Shadow didn't even 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:09.760 have to wipe his mouth. Shout out to Oscar, that 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:10.320 is great. 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:12.240 Yeah, it was like I don't know what he been. 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:13.960 He'd been at poppers so obviously. 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.200 And then what's Papa given him here? 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:22.880 Like like, what did you eat a poppers? 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:26.240 He was like, nothing too bad, just Lamington's and copcake? 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:28.200 How many? 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.360 Four packets? 0:04:31.760 --> 0:04:33.800 One point two five lit a bottle of coke and 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:35.120 a cup of ice. 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:38.280 Yeah, it was like bregon and red cordial in there 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:41.360 somewhere because it was a bit red. Anyway, he was fine, 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:43.560 let's hope it's not blood, No, it's. 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:45.200 Bitterally flew over blood and. 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:52.240 Then he he spewed up again about nine o'clock A 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:53.040 double spewed. 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:55.400 This one was in the bed, his bed. 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.920 Oh, so wrapped it up and then he went through 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:00.680 yellow for getting on the sheets. 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:05.640 Yeah, I made him wash him my hands one kidding, kidding, kidding, kid, 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:06.520 child labor. 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:06.840 Is not a joke. 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:12.400 It's really funny though. And then we were like, oh, 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:14.320 we'll put him in our room. Like, he's not going 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:17.240 to my bed. I was fucking spilled up. So we're like, 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:18.920 we'll try and put his mattress into it. You put 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:25.840 him outside. Yeah, sorry, this is not a joke. Canep 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:29.000 me serious for once? And then I was like, the 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:30.560 mattress isn't going to fit in our room? 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:33.560 Where'd you put? You know? 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:35.520 I think you've got one here, one of those fold 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:36.440 out little couches. 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:41.760 It was a foam cout fifteen dollar ones from came. 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:44.240 I just folded that out, put it on the floor 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:45.039 next to it. 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:46.919 It's like a full five centimeters of. 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:52.800 He slept right through to six o'clock, didn't wake up. Yeah, brilliant. 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:55.400 I honestly made it super cozy because he. 0:05:55.400 --> 0:05:59.960 Was like, why can't I come into bed? The dogs 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:05.480 up there too, You're to get I was like that 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:06.440 they're coming for me. 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:08.200 I was nearly going to get stay on the counsel. 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:11.240 I can't get sick. I can't cannot do it anyway. 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:13.320 We're good. But dog this morning he just want he 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.919 was energetic doing lego. He's great. Wonder what it was. 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:19.120 He must have just eaten too much of something at 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:21.240 Popa's house. I remember I drank too much red Cordial 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.440 at my NaN's house once and I spewed up everywhere, 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:24.480 and then afterwards I was like. 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:27.760 I'm back, how much red corder? Was too much red Cordial? 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:29.440 None of your business? 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.440 That's me here? You going, yeah, good, thank you, very well, 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:40.440 very well. I'm trying to figure out where. 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:44.720 I should start my stories from. Look, I'll I'll tell 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.680 you what just happened, what just happened. 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.080 You won't tell me over the phone. I might as 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:54.279 well tell me. He can he lose that attitude? Not needed, Okay, 0:06:55.160 --> 0:07:00.520 isn't it. You know what Marley said this morning, She's like, 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:02.680 you know and Mommy don't love each other. And I 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.640 was like, why would you say that? He's like you guys, well, 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:09.400 you argue a lot. I was like, oh, go on 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:09.760 to us. 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:19.160 So last night I had to send a very awkward email. Oh, 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:20.720 and it was one that I'd been putting off. 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:22.920 For a while. You're kicking someone out of dance class. 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.280 Were you on the same level. 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:28.400 I think this is one of the most as a parent, 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:32.600 one of the hardest things you have to do. I 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:35.080 sent an email last night that I've been putting off 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:38.080 for at least two weeks, and it was an email 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:41.240 to break up with my daycare. 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:47.400 We the same one Andrew John's goes to. Well he's 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:50.040 gone now, so that's why I'm leaving. He's gone. We're 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:55.320 all going to the mutiney a on why Marley's going 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:55.880 to be school. 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.040 So Marley's heading off to Kinny next year. So Marley's 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:02.080 wrapping up there and we are still the daycare that 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:04.640 we used to be at when we lived over in Bronti. 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:07.760 So just it's a long I'm going to justify this. 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:10.760 It's about I worked out the math ash and it's 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:16.080 about about an hour return trip. It takes me so 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:18.720 let me you know, it doesn't It sounds like a lot. 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.679 When I say it to Laura, She's like, you're an idiot. 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:23.120 Doesn't take that long, And I'm like, it does. It's 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:26.200 fifteen minutes there, right, fifteen minutes there. 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:30.760 Thirty minutes to get my coffee. It's it takes me 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:32.520 about twenty I don't know how long it takes you. 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:37.440 People laps up down Bondo bees quick PERV did that once. 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.200 It takes about twenty minutes to get them out of 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:41.520 the car into daycare, do the drop off back in 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:44.720 the car. If there's no parking, so you got to 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:46.240 like park the keke at a walk. Sometimes you have 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:47.480 to do a couple of loops to try and get 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:47.760 a pass. 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:49.880 Check the hazards on these days, bro just leaving. 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:53.400 No dude, they have they know it's opposite to school, 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:58.280 and they have parking inspectors every second day, every second day. 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:01.920 I can't give just a fucking breaks. Parents are break 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.680 they are there like it's the amount of rain drover 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.880 is getting fines in bundas unbelievable. 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.680 So you've gotta get a park So then by the 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.400 time I drive home fifteen minutes, it's been essentially it's 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:17.920 been a day I've been that's a day job. 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:20.640 I have to park, I have to pack supplies in 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:21.079 the car. 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:23.000 I'm going to be going for at least by the 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:24.240 time I get home I'm going to pick the kids 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:24.560 back up. 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.040 It's a long journey. It's a nightmare. 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:28.719 So I've got them in a daycare that's down the 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:32.000 road from where we currently live. And also it's where 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:35.640 my sister takes her kid. Yes, so now we can 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:37.200 share the drop off. 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:38.920 I know who's going to be doing the drop off 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.920 from the beg ho here on now my sister, especially 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:45.800 with half hours Marley's new school from this walking distance. 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:50.559 Ah, that's the dream. It's great. Where similar conundrum. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.280 At the moment because we were in Warriorwood, went to 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:54.240 two kindys at the each end of the street. 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:59.240 Right, perfect, Now I'm like a ten minute drive away. Yeah, 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.079 I saw you doing off the other day. I was like, ash, 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.760 like how far is it? 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:08.640 Well, even to the point last night we're driving home 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:12.080 and sometimes a bit of a late one yesterday, but 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:14.199 Lola will fall asleep in the drive home. 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:18.000 It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. So I've made the decision. 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:20.600 It was a big, big call because I remember last 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:24.240 time we changed that daycare, it was like the change 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:24.920 of routine. 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:26.400 Fuck, it was a nightmare. 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:31.120 New people, new teachers. She's going with the going with 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:32.080 the other family. 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:35.400 With my niece and they're the same days as well, 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:37.160 so it's just going to work out perfectly. But then 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:40.520 I so I sent them my last night, partly because 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.520 my sister was like to Lola, hey, you must be 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:46.160 so excited, like we're going to be on at the 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:46.840 same daycare. 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:48.120 And Lola was like, am I you. 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:50.280 Just thought about ghosting them and start doing anymore? 0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:52.319 They still charge me they got my bank detail. 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:53.200 Yeah, it was much better. 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:57.360 I would rather pay the money to avoid the order. 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.040 Now it's going to happen. Now you're going to bump 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:01.600 into someone from that s like telling works. 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:03.839 I haven't seen your kid in a while. 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.800 But that was this morning, dude, oh shop. 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:09.320 I sent the email, the break up email last night, 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:12.640 being like just confirming because because Lola was also kind 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:15.040 of telling other people I was getting pard or that 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:16.800 she was telling everyone that she's wrapping up. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.000 Yeah, And so then I was like, well, I know 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.000 I've got to come in. You've got to come clean, 0:11:21.040 --> 0:11:24.200 and I've come clean. And then this morning on drop off, 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:26.880 the director, who was lovely. 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:29.880 Can I just say you have to say that she's 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:30.640 really nice. 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:34.360 She was up in Lola's room waiting for she was 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:37.800 waiting for you. I was like I was like, hey, 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:39.439 how are you and she's like good, and I was. 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:41.400 Like, got your email last night? 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:43.800 She didn't, and she was like looking at me and 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:47.560 going what are you doing? And why are you sweating? Sorry? 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:49.280 I didn't mean to It's not you. 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:52.000 It's me, and she didn't know what I was talking about. 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.320 And then I just was like, we're not coming back, 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:02.440 threw the bag down of it, can't, got in the 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:03.280 car and drove off. 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:05.079 Well how much notice you have to give it? I've 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:08.640 never quit an Oh yeah, I was to one d something. 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.200 Little plenty of notice. We're not wrapping up until end 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:15.880 of December. But it's weird because since since Lola was 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:18.280 like eight months dude, she's now three, she's been going 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:20.880 she's gone it. They so, why would you do that? 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:22.600 I spent more time with my child? 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:27.679 Are you more yeah they have? Are you more upset 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:32.120 from Lola? Or are you like this kindergarten needs my business? 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:36.400 No? They're doing fine. Great, they got like the waitlisters. 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.800 What about those people to do family day cares? What's that? 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:42.120 That's fucking weird? What's that? We're like, oh, well, one 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:46.559 person takes twelve kids. Yeah, and then like they rotate, rotate. 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:50.040 So if youve got like five close friends and five 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:51.240 moms and dads. 0:12:50.960 --> 0:12:53.200 Or dads and dads or mums and moms to be inclosed, 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:55.080 if that was me, I just put the TV on 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:55.679 for the full day. 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:57.760 I would Yeah, that'd be me. I have a big 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:01.880 I have a really big you know, mouse, and I'd 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:04.760 just be like, get in everyone, we get them all. 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:08.480 I'd just get a group of treadmills and those like 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.040 stickless attached to your head that has a snack on 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:12.920 the end of it, and they'd. 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.280 Be like, snack be ash. How was my son today? 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.040 And you're like, oh, yeah, great day, Yeah. 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:19.840 Great day. He's clocked up fifteen k's that's nothing. 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:23.240 Band aid has been ripped off. I do feel better, 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.199 but it's emotional. It's emotional because you know, it's such 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:27.080 a big part of my life. 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:32.360 I don't know. If Lola's you didn't go there, I'd 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:34.000 be like, I've been going there every day. She's had 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:34.959 the same teacher. 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:38.920 Oh, same teacher for like, you know, almost two and 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:41.839 a half years. It's hard for me, dude, Okay, it's 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:42.320 hard for me. 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.240 Yeah, I must be. But it's the right thing to do. 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.679 It is few in terms of driving an hour there 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:48.040 and back. 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:48.520 Thank you. 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:53.240 Also, while someone Lola, I don't know, Macy's still in nappies, 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:53.640 isn't she? 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:54.720 Yeah? 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:56.760 She still like she takes hers off, does a we 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:58.520 in the party? Now, that's about it. 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:03.160 So she's progressing on her own terms. That does not 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:07.560 surprise me. Is that a dig at my parenting? That 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:10.800 was a dig at Macy. She does what she wants. 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:11.360 She does. 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:12.920 She doesn't answer to anybody. 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:13.800 I know. 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.800 Lola is now at a stage I can't even remember 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:21.880 how we taught Marley to wipe herround bump. We still 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.160 do like nine percent of the wiping. But Lola is 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:25.400 now like I'll do it. 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.920 It's like, this is my responsibility. I've got this. 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:31.520 And she is terrible at wiping her ownd bump. She'll 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:33.080 just she just what she does. 0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:39.800 Ash and chicks, ship, heaps what baby girls like? 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:42.560 Yeah? Girls poo Well, I've got a boy and her girl, 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:44.480 so I know it's because Oscar doesn't eat. 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:50.640 That's true. There is no Macy is you know you've 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:54.400 seen Macy's fecal She ships once a month. It's like 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:57.920 things like fucking leg of a chair. It's fucking huge. 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:01.280 Is listening to this right now? 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:06.520 Are going that's wrong, there's no science or actually, can 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:09.680 we look that up? So, jess, our producers just said 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:12.920 that women have slower bowel movements so they pooh less. 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:14.840 So there you go in ants why they're bigger? 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:18.200 You said, I don't want to get in this argument. 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:22.240 I don't want to stoop to your level. Stoop on down, baby, Okay, sorry, 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:28.480 So Lola's I think her arms they're too short. You 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:30.040 I menationed a dinosaur Tronto wipers. 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.240 But it's kind of it's like Lola, she can't she 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.400 can't quite get like in there, like to wipe her bum. 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:37.920 So what she does is she just gets heaps of 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:41.040 toilet paper, right, just gets shitloads of it. 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:43.440 This is how Lola wipes her bumb. She then just 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:47.360 like wedges it between her cheeks and then so she's 0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:50.720 got like hanging out a bum and then she waits 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.560 here for about thirty seconds. Then she's like and then 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.840 she pulls it out like it's absorbing it. Yeah yeah, 0:15:57.880 --> 0:15:59.160 and then puts it in the toilet. 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:01.520 If I come in and I go, can I just 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:06.040 can I just check? She's like, what for I'm good, 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:10.560 you're back. And sometimes if I try and take it 0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:12.800 out of her backside whilst it's there for that thirty 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.280 second period, she's like, what are you doing? 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:20.560 Hasn't fully absorbed yet, I'm not, and I'm trying to 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:22.720 I try to explain to her, now, you've got to 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:23.920 got to wipe. 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:29.240 Yeah, it doesn't it's not like a paper towel. Just 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:30.560 soak your shit into it. 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.960 She's got paper towels and taller baby completely mixed up. Yeah, 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:37.320 easy mistake to make, but she can't. I'm trying to 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.040 want to say to her, just wait till your arms 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:43.280 grow a bit longer and then you can wipe your 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:43.680 own bumm. 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.160 It's very difficult. I didn't have this problem with Marley. 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:51.520 Yeah, I'm trying to think, like I think I just 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.320 said to Oscar, if you don't wipe your bum and 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:56.040 I've got to do it, then you've got to wipe 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:59.760 my bum I remember that. Remember worked? So now he's 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:01.160 in As far as I know, I don't even check 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.080 it anymore. Probably's walking around out there stinging like shit. 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:03.520 This morning. 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:06.920 I have no idea what was going on. 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:12.200 He still he's doing well, but yeah, it's I don't know, 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:15.720 what do you do? Like why I suppose, like. 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:18.480 Well, whenever Lolog disappears, she doesn't tell us when she 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:20.040 doesn't tell us when she does a shit anymore. So 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:21.760 we've got to now try and catch her before she 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.240 comes and to act. Yeah, she comes out, her hands 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.840 smell like shit. She still her backside smells like shit. 0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:28.959 And then there's normally just it's just ship everywhere. 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:31.840 Yeah, I'm not looking forward to Macie because Macy she 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:34.000 just takes off to the to the party and then 0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:35.639 I like look down the hallway and she's sitting there 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:41.080 and she's like, what are you doing? So happy, so content, 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:43.200 but like not even sometimes you just bring the poty 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:44.399 out and put it in front of the TV and 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:49.000 just sit down and just love. It's not a seat mate, 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:53.160 I've got a situation. I love that that I would 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:54.680 love to run by. It didn't happen to me, It 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:56.919 happened to April. Shout out to April. April is my 0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:00.000 wife of how many years? 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:04.399 I don't know, five, no, six, no? Seven? 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:12.960 Yeah, wow, veteran, it's nearly finished. Sorry that's a joke. 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:16.080 Sorry, bub, but that's a couple of jokes. She hates 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:16.760 that I use it. 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.440 And one of them is that where it's like, yeah, 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:20.960 marriage is only the last like ten years like. 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:22.520 Oversect me one. 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:25.480 The other one is where I'm a divorcee's dream because 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:26.320 I've had a sect to me. 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:31.479 I mean, I can understand why she wouldn't like these jokes. 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:34.280 I know, I know, Sorry, Bobe. 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:38.840 So there's April situation. So every Thursday and Friday at 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.280 down the local library they do I think called Rhyme. 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:43.760 Time Love Rhyme Time. I've mentioned it before. It's great. 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.679 It's a free it's a free initiative by the local council. 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:50.920 Usually on this particular day, April went to ram time 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:51.399 with Macy. 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:52.880 She can go on her own, because that'd be weird. 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.520 She went with and Macy had a. 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:57.760 Balloon with her. Oh, took the. 0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:02.600 Balloome with her. Anyway, they're at time and Macy's placed 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:05.640 the balloon down and gone off to do rhyme Time 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:08.399 and then do coloring in And in the time that 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:12.400 Macy's gone, a little boy has seen the balloon come 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:16.560