WEBVTT - Ask Uncut - Are They REALLY Allergic Though??

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<v Speaker 1>This episode was recorded on cameragle Land. Hi guys, and

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<v Speaker 1>welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

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<v Speaker 2>Laura, what is wrong with that?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Brittany. I've been trying to figure out what's in

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<v Speaker 3>my eye and I've just realized I'm like, something is

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<v Speaker 3>my eye. I'm pretty sure it's a flake of my croissant,

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<v Speaker 3>because it was just all over me more shuffling it

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<v Speaker 3>in before the record, and I think I have croissant hied.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you want me to come get it out?

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<v Speaker 2>What with your tongue?

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<v Speaker 3>With my with my tongue? No, maybe I've got a

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<v Speaker 3>maybe you can't get it with those nails. Do you

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<v Speaker 3>want me to no?

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<v Speaker 2>I think figure her eyeball on record.

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<v Speaker 3>Brittany, I would figure your eyeball because I'm wondering now

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<v Speaker 3>if I've actually got the flake out and the flake

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<v Speaker 3>left a mark on my eye. You know how sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>your eye get scratched and then it feels Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 3>think I've got it. I think I've got a croissant wound. Wow,

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<v Speaker 3>that was crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Croissant debreed or get your could you go?

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<v Speaker 3>You got to be careful croissants. I'm dangerous.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So, guys, if you're just joining us, you will

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<v Speaker 1>know that we've been on holidays.

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<v Speaker 2>Clearly things are not back to normal yet.

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<v Speaker 1>But we actually can't update you on the holiday because

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<v Speaker 1>we haven't had it. So we're recording this just before

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<v Speaker 1>we went away so that we can, you know, school

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<v Speaker 1>ease an.

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<v Speaker 2>Extra day out of it.

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<v Speaker 3>This is our last day before holidays.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is technically my last holiday before I have

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<v Speaker 1>a baby and never have holiday again in my life

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<v Speaker 1>because you actually never will. Yeah, so that's it. So

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<v Speaker 1>hopefully I had a great time. I'll tell you all

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<v Speaker 1>about it on Wednesday.

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<v Speaker 3>What can you tell us what you're doing?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm going what do you think I'm doing? Going

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<v Speaker 2>to holiday and I'm going down to Ala Dallah. That's

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<v Speaker 2>all we do. We were talking about it recently.

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<v Speaker 1>Matt and I were like, okay, so technically, I mean

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<v Speaker 1>we will go for other trips locally, but like, technically,

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<v Speaker 1>once this baby comes, like we're never going to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to afford to fly anywhere again because like you've

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<v Speaker 1>got to once your kid turns too, you've got to

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<v Speaker 1>pay for three seats for children.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was like, that's it. We're never going anywhere.

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<v Speaker 3>We're gonna stay maybe you can just leave them at home?

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<v Speaker 2>No, why not?

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<v Speaker 3>Why is that such a bad thing? Actually? Okay, like

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<v Speaker 3>my can't parents have a week to recover and leave

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<v Speaker 3>the kids with the grandparents or some boom? Is that

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<v Speaker 3>like shamed?

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<v Speaker 2>Not everyone has grandparents?

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<v Speaker 3>Who you do?

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<v Speaker 2>Capable? Alia is super capable.

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't leave her with the kids for a week, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I certainly would never leave her with three kids for

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<v Speaker 1>a week like me.

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<v Speaker 3>I could take a You're like, hell no, you would call.

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<v Speaker 1>The dog sitter and be like, sorry, can someone please

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<v Speaker 1>mind Laura's children.

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<v Speaker 2>I would've got seventy dollars an hour. I would leave

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<v Speaker 2>them at home and Delilah look after them.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, girl's got.

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<v Speaker 2>It, very mature, like where is where's Poppy?

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<v Speaker 3>Bree?

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<v Speaker 2>You're like she's fine and maybe.

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<v Speaker 3>Not she's too, which went, oh is a fan?

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, well, we will update you on holiday stuff

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<v Speaker 1>and everything that's been happening, but like we said, hasn't

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<v Speaker 1>happened yet, so we don't want to make up stories

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<v Speaker 1>for you.

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<v Speaker 3>I forgot to tell you guys something and I got

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<v Speaker 3>I saw it again today because I screamed on it,

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<v Speaker 3>but got me giggling.

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<v Speaker 2>Was it thirsty hams, so because let me tell you

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<v Speaker 2>that's going off.

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<v Speaker 3>Was it the thirsty hands? Did we get any responses

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<v Speaker 3>from people that have been thirsty Hamstring?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I've had a few people DM me about the

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<v Speaker 1>thirsty Hamster. If you don't know what it is, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>just go back and listen to the first ten minutes

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<v Speaker 1>of the last askar and cut we did or it

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<v Speaker 1>was truly unhinged and.

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<v Speaker 3>It was obviously we hadn't been on holidays yet.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't recommend ever trying it at home. A lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people commented, no one's tried it. I'm yet to

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<v Speaker 1>find someone who's actually tried it. Slide into my DMS

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<v Speaker 1>if you have, if you've had a man just playing

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<v Speaker 1>on top of the car for the good of the nation.

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<v Speaker 3>I just don't. I think it's some Do you know

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<v Speaker 3>what I think this is? I don't think it's like

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<v Speaker 3>a trend or a thing. I think one sicco's done

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<v Speaker 3>at once and has written about it, and now it's

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<v Speaker 3>turned into something like people aren't doing this.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's not call people sicicos just because they like to

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<v Speaker 1>have the car adventurous sex capades.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, what is your update?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I was just going to say, it's very small,

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<v Speaker 3>it's not an update. But I'm on Dancing with the

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<v Speaker 3>Stars at the moment, as are you, and you guys know, well,

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<v Speaker 3>sometimes I forget myself because we recorded it so long ago.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, oh shit, that's right, I'm on Dancing with

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<v Speaker 3>the Stars. But you know, it's so funny, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>when you go to respond to a story or send

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<v Speaker 3>it to a friend and you accidentally get it sent

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<v Speaker 3>to you. I didn't know if I explained that right.

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<v Speaker 3>You know how you can go to forward someone else's

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<v Speaker 3>story to a friend, Yes, but sometimes you just forward

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<v Speaker 3>it to the person. And I remember the most prime

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<v Speaker 3>example is when you put up a photo of Maley

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<v Speaker 3>as a little kid Malie May is a little baby Laura,

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<v Speaker 3>and someone responded someone went to send it to their

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<v Speaker 3>friend and say something about her looking like a turtle,

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<v Speaker 3>or like oh she finally looks cute, something rude, but

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<v Speaker 3>they accidentally sent.

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<v Speaker 2>It to you. So it was when Maley was two

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<v Speaker 2>years old.

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<v Speaker 1>I put up a really cute picture of her and

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<v Speaker 1>somebody replied to the picture very very obviously meant to

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<v Speaker 1>send it to their friend, and she said, oh, look,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess her kid finally got cute, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>she was an odd looking little baby, but she was

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<v Speaker 1>still cute to me. God damn it, she was cute

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<v Speaker 1>to everybody, thanks for the The cross side that she

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<v Speaker 1>had when she first came out was a stigmatism that

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<v Speaker 1>really was she was totally cross.

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<v Speaker 2>That made her cute. No.

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<v Speaker 3>So I had put up some stories from dancing and

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<v Speaker 3>I had three responses in my damn from the same person,

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<v Speaker 3>like they'd responded three times and its very evidently wasn't

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<v Speaker 3>supposed to go to me. The first one said ill

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<v Speaker 3>just one word eat two laters ill, and I was like, Oh,

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<v Speaker 3>that's unusual, weird. Next one yuck, and I was like, okay, interesting.

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<v Speaker 3>A couple of minutes later, who even is she? So

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<v Speaker 3>somebody messaged me ill, yuck? Who even is she? And

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<v Speaker 3>I was like the fact I get that you're trying

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<v Speaker 3>to send my story to somebody else, and I'm ill,

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<v Speaker 3>like you don't like red, that's cool, but imagine trying

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<v Speaker 3>to send the same story three times to a friend

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<v Speaker 3>to comment like that could have been one sentence, that

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<v Speaker 3>could have been one sentence and one comment. And I

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<v Speaker 3>got it, and I was like, oh was it was

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<v Speaker 3>that bad.

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<v Speaker 1>I still think honestly, when I see things like that,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you're a fan.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a fan.

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<v Speaker 1>She's doing your favor, she's engaged with your content. You

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<v Speaker 1>should be grateful, brit But.

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<v Speaker 3>It was also weird because I did go on a

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<v Speaker 3>little investigation. She doesn't follow me, so she's obviously that's

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<v Speaker 3>why she said who is she? Obviously, but she's she

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<v Speaker 3>stumbled across my It just it's just weird to me.

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<v Speaker 3>When I see that stuff, it makes you wonder how

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<v Speaker 3>many people are sending that to other people. But I'm

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<v Speaker 3>like three messages to a friend sending just a random

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<v Speaker 3>you don't know her, she's on a TV show. You've

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<v Speaker 3>sent it to really double down on like ill gross,

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<v Speaker 3>discussing vomit in my mouth, like like clomped out, Oh

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<v Speaker 3>did I tell you?

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<v Speaker 1>I think I've told you this one before, but like

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<v Speaker 1>cut it out if I have cash. So Matt, because

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<v Speaker 1>like obviously Matt does really silly videos, and for like

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<v Speaker 1>the longest time during COVID, like some of those videos

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<v Speaker 1>got pretty weird, right, Like Matt would be dressing up

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<v Speaker 1>in my dresses and doing all weird types of things. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>we went to England when we first started dating, and

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<v Speaker 1>Matt used to live over there, so he's got a

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<v Speaker 1>really great group of friends over there.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember really great group.

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<v Speaker 1>Of friends and I met them all and they're so

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<v Speaker 1>lovely And anyway, came back here covid hit. He was like,

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<v Speaker 1>we were doing enough funny videos and one of his friends,

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<v Speaker 1>actually it was the wife of one of his very

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<v Speaker 1>very friends, just sent the video to him and was

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<v Speaker 1>like like, oh my god, this is so cringe. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't believe he would post this. And then he never

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<v Speaker 1>heard from her again. He wrote back and was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>thanks for that, and then never they've never spoken since

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<v Speaker 1>it's been five years.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, that's really shit because it's your private group. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 3>it's an actual friend.

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<v Speaker 4>I was gonna ask you if you replied to the

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<v Speaker 4>person who said yuck, who is she?

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<v Speaker 3>I just put a hand up.

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<v Speaker 2>It's me.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I sent her the vote number.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, click a link.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh guys, let's get into our vibes and unsubscribes for

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<v Speaker 1>answering your questions, Brittany, what is your vibe?

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<v Speaker 3>My vibe is nothing new, but I'm sure a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of people haven't heard of it. It is something that

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<v Speaker 3>my family and my group of friends have been playing

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<v Speaker 3>for a very long time.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a board game Monopoly.

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<v Speaker 3>No, have you heard of Monopoly? No? I want a vibe.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm disappointed at how sucked into my phone I can get.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm trying to bring back some wholesome interactions with

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<v Speaker 3>people again because this got me thinking. It was off

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<v Speaker 3>the back of an article I read about George Clooney

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<v Speaker 3>and a Mile Clooney, and so whenever they have people

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<v Speaker 3>over to the house, they entertain a lot. There is

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<v Speaker 3>like a phone basket and you go in and you

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<v Speaker 3>can't go into their house without putting your phone in.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's because they, I guess, they get no privacy

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<v Speaker 3>in their life. They're huge. They want to be able

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<v Speaker 3>to feel safe to have their conversations knowing that no

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<v Speaker 3>one has the phone anyway. That's not my vibe, but

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<v Speaker 3>it got me thinking about those interactions and I'm bringing

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<v Speaker 3>back and my sister Sherry and I and Jay we

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<v Speaker 3>played a couple of weeks ago when I visit them.

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<v Speaker 3>But just the board game Articulate, I don't know if

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<v Speaker 3>you guys haven't played it.

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<v Speaker 2>Articulated is great.

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<v Speaker 3>It's so good, so We've got two favorite board games

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<v Speaker 3>that we've been like playing for years and we've just

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<v Speaker 3>sort of brought them back. Balderdash and Articulate. But Articulate

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<v Speaker 3>if you haven't heard of it, it is so much fun.

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<v Speaker 3>It's literally just you team up. You've got thirty seconds

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<v Speaker 3>and you just have to guess. One person describes whatever

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<v Speaker 3>word it is and the other person has to guess

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<v Speaker 3>it and you just churn through them. But it is

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<v Speaker 3>so much much fun, and it's really fun to play

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<v Speaker 3>with a group of friends. Like I just think we

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<v Speaker 3>sometimes needed the reminder to go back and have these

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<v Speaker 3>wholesome interactions where A you're actually present and B you're

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<v Speaker 3>using your brain. It's like, but so that's my You

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<v Speaker 3>can get it literally anywhere. Twenty five bucks, Big Wa

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<v Speaker 3>so great.

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<v Speaker 1>When we used to live together, Nasa and I Na's

0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.400
<v Speaker 1>our video editor. For anyone who is new to the

0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.360
<v Speaker 1>pod Articulate, it used to get a very good run

0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:27.880
<v Speaker 1>in our house.

0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:31.440
<v Speaker 2>It's great. A couple of lines play game articulates.

0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:33.160
<v Speaker 3>Sherry and I a band from playing in our family

0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:37.719
<v Speaker 3>because we're so competitive. No, not that we know each other.

0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.120
<v Speaker 3>We spend our whole life living together. We shared a

0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.400
<v Speaker 3>room our whole life. We've worked in the same hospital

0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.720
<v Speaker 3>our whole life, live together. We know each other inside

0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:47.280
<v Speaker 3>out that it's just not fair. It's like, it's no

0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:51.040
<v Speaker 3>we finish the telepathic community. Sometimes we say one people

0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:53.760
<v Speaker 3>think we're cheating. We'll say one word, not even we

0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:56.080
<v Speaker 3>haven't got a syllable out and we've got the answer,

0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:57.800
<v Speaker 3>and people think we're cheating. I'm like, how we But

0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:59.440
<v Speaker 3>we just know each other too well, so we're allowed

0:09:59.440 --> 0:09:59.920
<v Speaker 3>to play together.

0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:02.560
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what'd board games really anti climactic?

0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:04.320
<v Speaker 1>That I tried to wheel out recently and play with

0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:05.720
<v Speaker 1>Matt's mum Scrabble.

0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:07.000
<v Speaker 2>It's fucking sober.

0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:08.520
<v Speaker 3>It's a bit like seventy plus now.

0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:09.920
<v Speaker 2>So slow moving, isn't it?

0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:10.360
<v Speaker 3>Anyway?

0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.199
<v Speaker 2>Can just watch your vibe So slow moveing.

0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:16.480
<v Speaker 3>That's because you're slow. It's spelling subscribers Scrabble.

0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:21.200
<v Speaker 4>My vibe this week is for anyone who perhaps was

0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:24.720
<v Speaker 4>not taught handy little things while they were growing up,

0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:26.880
<v Speaker 4>whether that came from your parents or your grandparents, and

0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:28.640
<v Speaker 4>you were just missing. There's a couple of gaps in

0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:31.360
<v Speaker 4>how to do shit around the house. I have been

0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:36.880
<v Speaker 4>using the Bunnings Warehouse how to videos extensively. I now

0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:40.800
<v Speaker 4>feel like I've gone from a novice. So over the weekend, I.

0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:42.280
<v Speaker 3>Know I'm building my first house out.

0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:43.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm now a pro.

0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:47.160
<v Speaker 4>Well, I removed wallpaper and I was really I was like, oh,

0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:49.520
<v Speaker 4>this could be a really big job. I've heard people

0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:50.640
<v Speaker 4>say it's really challenging.

0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:51.559
<v Speaker 2>Blah blah blah.

0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:54.160
<v Speaker 4>They had like a two minute thirty video on everything

0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:56.560
<v Speaker 4>that I needed and how to remove it, all properly

0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:58.640
<v Speaker 4>and different like if it's on this surface and if

0:10:58.679 --> 0:10:59.560
<v Speaker 4>it's on that surface.

0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:00.400
<v Speaker 3>Anyway.

0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:03.319
<v Speaker 4>The videos are short, they're concise, They're obviously made by

0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.520
<v Speaker 4>people who know relatively what they're doing, but it's not

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:09.959
<v Speaker 4>too complex. I've also watched ones on how to paint

0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.080
<v Speaker 4>because I've been painting as well, and.

0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.880
<v Speaker 3>How to rip up grass and replant grass.

0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.480
<v Speaker 2>So Keisho is now a Diway queen.

0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:19.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you've always kind of been a Diway queen,

0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.440
<v Speaker 1>but now you're like really erring into Doway pro category.

0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:24.640
<v Speaker 4>Now I'm allowed to do it. Before I had to

0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.400
<v Speaker 4>hide it from the land lawn. Now I'm actually a

0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:28.120
<v Speaker 4>load to two things.

0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:30.720
<v Speaker 3>It looks great, Thank you, thank you.

0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.440
<v Speaker 4>I appreciate that I tried very hard, but yeah, They've

0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.520
<v Speaker 4>got some really really good practical videos.

0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.000
<v Speaker 3>So if there's anything that you're not really sure that here, they've.

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.360
<v Speaker 4>Got how to clean tile flows, how to install a

0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.840
<v Speaker 4>security camera, how to hang a TV, how to identify

0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:46.559
<v Speaker 4>and fixed drafts. Like, they've got this whole video series

0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:48.320
<v Speaker 4>that are only a couple of minutes long to help

0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:49.480
<v Speaker 4>you kiss.

0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:52.839
<v Speaker 3>She's also like squeezing away into my family. You know,

0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:54.720
<v Speaker 3>she's got a crush on my dad. I get a message, Hey,

0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:56.160
<v Speaker 3>just got off the phone from your brother, a really

0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:57.199
<v Speaker 3>great fifteen minute chat.

0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:58.400
<v Speaker 2>I was like, what your brother.

0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:00.880
<v Speaker 3>She's like, he's talking me through my renot. I'm like, what,

0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.880
<v Speaker 3>he's the best. He's a painter, So I asked him.

0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.839
<v Speaker 4>I was like hey, he replied to sorry, I think

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:10.120
<v Speaker 4>his partner, Kim replied to a story that my boyfriend

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.280
<v Speaker 4>put up of me painting. So they got, in my opinion,

0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.920
<v Speaker 4>they opened the door to ask for unsolicited advice.

0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:18.480
<v Speaker 3>My boyfriend put on a photo and that my brother's

0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.679
<v Speaker 3>wife commented on that told my brother that that opened.

0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:23.280
<v Speaker 2>Up the next thing.

0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:25.480
<v Speaker 4>I was having a twenty five minute conversation with Dane.

0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:26.520
<v Speaker 2>It was very helpful.

0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:30.480
<v Speaker 4>He helped me like what types of paints for skirting boards.

0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:32.679
<v Speaker 3>It was very good. Maybe he could start a series.

0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:34.640
<v Speaker 1>Can I just say we've gone from the vibe being

0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:38.160
<v Speaker 1>Bunnings related to being just called Dane called Dane.

0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:40.959
<v Speaker 3>Feel so in the show notes I will put Dane's photos.

0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.880
<v Speaker 4>We absolutely will not, But no, my actual vibe is

0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.280
<v Speaker 4>the Bunnings Warehouse how to video series.

0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:47.520
<v Speaker 3>Cool.

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.199
<v Speaker 1>I love this because I honestly do believe that if

0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:52.600
<v Speaker 1>you I mean, apart from like surgery or something really

0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:54.560
<v Speaker 1>high level, go to go to school for that. But

0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:58.439
<v Speaker 1>for most things in life, there are such thorough tutorials

0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.840
<v Speaker 1>on how to get started, especially for things in like business,

0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.120
<v Speaker 1>not just handy things, but there's so much you can

0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 1>find online. They can, like step by step help you

0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.560
<v Speaker 1>through all the stuff that you think you can't do.

0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:09.280
<v Speaker 2>And then you get this little sense of like, oh,

0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:09.720
<v Speaker 2>look at me.

0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:12.200
<v Speaker 3>The number of times I've poot three quarters of away

0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:14.640
<v Speaker 3>through a business course online and I just get bored.

0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.640
<v Speaker 3>I've never finished it, but I've restarted the same one

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:20.440
<v Speaker 3>so many times, and I'm like, well, boring, what are

0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:21.160
<v Speaker 3>all these numbers?

0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:25.520
<v Speaker 1>All right, all guys. My recommendation. It is a drama

0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.600
<v Speaker 1>slash biopic. It's called scoop. It came out in twenty

0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.880
<v Speaker 1>twenty four, and it's all about the behind the scenes

0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.960
<v Speaker 1>story of how the women at BBC were the ones

0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:38.760
<v Speaker 1>who brought that interview, that very famous interview of Prince

0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.559
<v Speaker 1>Andrew in twenty nineteen where he spoke about not being

0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.640
<v Speaker 1>able to sweat and everything else, all of their links

0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:47.320
<v Speaker 1>to Jeffrey Epstein off the back of a pat picture

0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:48.760
<v Speaker 1>that was taken in the park of the two of

0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:51.559
<v Speaker 1>them together. I thought it was a really fascinating story.

0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.200
<v Speaker 1>I had no idea that it was the women of

0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:57.680
<v Speaker 1>BBC who were the ones who absolutely brought that to

0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:00.920
<v Speaker 1>the forefront, who were the ones who who curated the

0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:03.880
<v Speaker 1>relationship with the royal family and also with the royal

0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.600
<v Speaker 1>family's pr relations in order to bring that to being

0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:11.880
<v Speaker 1>a possibility. It doesn't have great ratings on Rotten Tomatoes,

0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:14.200
<v Speaker 1>and I saw that, and I think it's like seventy

0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:17.240
<v Speaker 1>something on Rotten Tomatoes. Went into it thinking and expecting

0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:18.680
<v Speaker 1>that it wasn't going to be very good as a

0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:20.680
<v Speaker 1>result of this, But I think if you're interested in

0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:24.480
<v Speaker 1>media or you're interested in that whole story and how

0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:27.600
<v Speaker 1>it unfolded, for me, I found it utterly fascinating. I

0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:29.880
<v Speaker 1>watched it with my mother in law, who's a total royalist,

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.080
<v Speaker 1>And the thing about it is that Prince Andrew did

0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:36.200
<v Speaker 1>that interview, and the royal family were all privy to

0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:39.080
<v Speaker 1>that interview and they thought the interview was well done.

0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:40.880
<v Speaker 2>Their perception of that interview was that.

0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Actually, you know what, he nailed that, and he did

0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 1>a really great job at at least educating the public

0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 1>on his version of events. And as we know, it

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:53.040
<v Speaker 1>was the most damning pr interview that he could have

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.000
<v Speaker 1>ever done, and he was stripped of all these royal titles.

0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:57.120
<v Speaker 2>And the flow and effect from that.

0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 1>But it kind of raises the questions would the pun

0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.280
<v Speaker 1>been as severe had he never done that interview, Because

0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:05.680
<v Speaker 1>if he hadn't done that interview and had just stayed

0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:08.720
<v Speaker 1>quiet as he had done up until that point, he

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.000
<v Speaker 1>potentially would still have all these royal titles. But the

0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.520
<v Speaker 1>backlash from it was just so incredibly severe.

0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:14.960
<v Speaker 2>So it's called Scoop.

0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:18.120
<v Speaker 1>It's on Netflix now, and yeah, it's about an hour

0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:19.880
<v Speaker 1>and twenty minutes, and I.

0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:21.160
<v Speaker 2>Really thoroughly enjoyed it.

0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:23.280
<v Speaker 4>This is the one that has Julian Anderson and Billy

0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:23.760
<v Speaker 4>Piper in it.

0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 3>I've seen it. I absolutely loved this film.

0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:27.440
<v Speaker 2>It's really good, so good.

0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.720
<v Speaker 3>Billy Piper unrelated, She's amazing. She's a bit of an underdog.

0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.240
<v Speaker 3>People don't give her enough credit. I reckon what was

0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.840
<v Speaker 3>her band she was in? I can't remember. She's in

0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:41.240
<v Speaker 3>secret director diary. But she was a singer, push was

0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.440
<v Speaker 3>an actress and now she's actually a really good actress. Anyway,

0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:44.560
<v Speaker 3>that sounds great, Laura.

0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Okay, go watch it. Let's get into your question.

0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:50.560
<v Speaker 3>Kay, question number one, to look or not to look

0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.600
<v Speaker 3>during birth? That is the question. For a bit of

0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:57.320
<v Speaker 3>background on Mother's date, my entire family had a bit

0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.480
<v Speaker 3>of a heated argument about a certain topic, and I

0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.720
<v Speaker 3>want your opinion on it. The disagreement was about whether

0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.800
<v Speaker 3>the father should have a peep at their child being

0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:09.080
<v Speaker 3>born during active birth. My opinion is that the father

0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.200
<v Speaker 3>should at least have a quick glance at what the

0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.360
<v Speaker 3>woman has to go through to have a child. I

0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:15.640
<v Speaker 3>really don't want to sound insensitive, as I know some

0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:18.680
<v Speaker 3>people can be grossed out. I'm also a nurse, so

0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:20.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if that impacts my opinion, as I

0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.520
<v Speaker 3>don't get turned off by these things. I also understand

0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:26.800
<v Speaker 3>there are certain circumstances where this would not be encouraged

0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:30.200
<v Speaker 3>by midwives or doctors. But in best case scenario with

0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:32.720
<v Speaker 3>a healthy vaginal birth, I'd love to hear what you

0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:33.600
<v Speaker 3>all have to say.

0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I remember when Matt didn't want to cut the umbilical cord.

0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.960
<v Speaker 1>Matt's really square, like he's really squeamish. He doesn't do

0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:43.280
<v Speaker 1>well with blood. He's not the best person to have

0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:45.320
<v Speaker 1>by your side during a birthing experience.

0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:47.640
<v Speaker 2>But you know, like he makes up for it in otherways.

0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:49.720
<v Speaker 2>But he absolutely by.

0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.520
<v Speaker 3>How he nearly missed it getting the chicken sandwich no.

0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:53.480
<v Speaker 1>Usually, but how he makes like funny content reels when

0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm in active labor about things you shouldn't say when

0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:56.880
<v Speaker 1>your wife's in labor.

0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:58.640
<v Speaker 2>But I'm actually legitimately like, okay.

0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:00.360
<v Speaker 3>Matt, things you shouldn't do when I'm in Where is

0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:01.000
<v Speaker 3>make it video?

0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:03.760
<v Speaker 2>So Marley, this happened with both babies.

0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.399
<v Speaker 1>They're like out of me, connected by the umbilical cord,

0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:09.239
<v Speaker 1>like still there and like everyone's like a baby. And

0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.960
<v Speaker 1>then the obsctrician hands him the scissors to cut It's

0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:15.480
<v Speaker 1>like a clamp and then scissors to cut the umbilical cord.

0:17:16.080 --> 0:17:20.520
<v Speaker 1>Matt was like like not even looking and like just

0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:21.680
<v Speaker 1>waving scissors around.

0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:24.040
<v Speaker 3>I was like, dude, I.

0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.360
<v Speaker 2>Push this kid out of my who heart.

0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:27.399
<v Speaker 1>You can at least look at it to cut the

0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:30.960
<v Speaker 1>umbilical cord and not accidentally stab it. Anyway, he cut

0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:33.800
<v Speaker 1>the umbilical cord and it was I'm not kidding you,

0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:37.760
<v Speaker 1>about fifteen centimeters long because he was just so squirmished.

0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:41.320
<v Speaker 1>The obstrician just looked at him and recount it straight away.

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:43.959
<v Speaker 2>Looked at like, what the fuck was that recut it?

0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.679
<v Speaker 1>Look my opinion, yes, I think that they should have

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.480
<v Speaker 1>get over it. Get the fuck over it. However, I

0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.440
<v Speaker 1>understand that some people might then pass out. They might

0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:57.200
<v Speaker 1>then make it about themselves. I think you've just got

0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:57.760
<v Speaker 1>passing out.

0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.600
<v Speaker 3>It's making it about yourself, like if you're conscious, and

0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:05.199
<v Speaker 3>I guess so selfish. It's like convulsion on the ground.

0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:08.400
<v Speaker 3>That's what happened with Carest and you're like, you would

0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:09.160
<v Speaker 3>have a heart attack.

0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:14.359
<v Speaker 4>Podcast on doting Dad's ash fainted during the birth of

0:18:14.400 --> 0:18:15.040
<v Speaker 4>his first kid.

0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:17.720
<v Speaker 3>I think a lot of people would. Dude, my ex

0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:21.439
<v Speaker 3>fainted when I got a splinter. I've never seen not

0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:23.640
<v Speaker 3>what It's not their fault, obviously, he's gotten an aversion

0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:25.679
<v Speaker 3>of blood. But like, I got this big splinter ones

0:18:26.119 --> 0:18:27.840
<v Speaker 3>and I was like, oh, can you get this splinter out?

0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:32.040
<v Speaker 3>I'll never forget it, talk about getting the ick. You

0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:34.080
<v Speaker 3>can get this splinter out. And he looked at it

0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:36.879
<v Speaker 3>and it was really it wasn't even a splinter. It

0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:38.359
<v Speaker 3>was like a big chunk of wood in my finger.

0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:39.960
<v Speaker 3>And then he just looked up at me and I

0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:41.960
<v Speaker 3>was like, you're right, and then his eyes just rolled

0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.280
<v Speaker 3>back and he just fainted every time he saw blood.

0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:46.640
<v Speaker 3>So there was no if I was still with him,

0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:49.320
<v Speaker 3>which I'm obviously not, There's no way somebody like that

0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:52.320
<v Speaker 3>could watch a birth like you just couldn't. You just couldn't.

0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:54.600
<v Speaker 2>I think it is you know, obviously I make lots

0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:55.080
<v Speaker 2>of jokes.

0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:58.520
<v Speaker 1>It is definitely dependent on the person and what they can.

0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, if you've met you can't stomach it and

0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.200
<v Speaker 1>you're going to pass out, and then it's going to

0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:05.879
<v Speaker 1>be more of an inconvenience. Like obviously, I understand that

0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:08.320
<v Speaker 1>there are parameters to it, but I do not like

0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:10.560
<v Speaker 1>it when men use it as an excuse because they

0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:13.639
<v Speaker 1>don't want to take on the responsibility of looking. And

0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I always think of that fucking Robbie Williams quote where

0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:17.399
<v Speaker 1>it's quite famous, where he's.

0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:19.440
<v Speaker 2>Like, oh, it's like watching your favorite pub burned down.

0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.560
<v Speaker 4>If that's the reason, though, I don't agree with it,

0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:24.640
<v Speaker 4>but I haven't heard that same, haven't you.

0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.439
<v Speaker 3>Oh, but it is funny, it's like watching it's like

0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:28.560
<v Speaker 3>my safe place. No.

0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:29.680
<v Speaker 2>But the thing is is like.

0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:31.879
<v Speaker 1>If that's the reason why you're not looking, then you

0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 1>need to get a grip and like.

0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:36.640
<v Speaker 3>At least you said favorite pub, because there are many.

0:19:37.600 --> 0:19:38.360
<v Speaker 2>I love him to.

0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:47.360
<v Speaker 3>Security and I'm not even allowed jobs that bas has. Yeah,

0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:49.240
<v Speaker 3>I've got a need a timeline.

0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:52.439
<v Speaker 1>I think it's like, I mean those types of tropes

0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:55.040
<v Speaker 1>and the jokes like, look, you can laugh about it,

0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:58.080
<v Speaker 1>but it is deeply entrenched in misogyny. As a woman,

0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:01.320
<v Speaker 1>you don't get the opportunity to not be one affected

0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:04.200
<v Speaker 1>by childbirth or have the luxury to not look, not feel,

0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:06.800
<v Speaker 1>not anything, whether it's coming out the sun, ruth, or

0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:08.960
<v Speaker 1>you're having a vaginal birth, Like that's affecting you in

0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:11.760
<v Speaker 1>ways that are beyond your control that you have to

0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:14.560
<v Speaker 1>look at whether you're squirmish or not. And it's like

0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:18.120
<v Speaker 1>men get to have the option to choose because they

0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:21.520
<v Speaker 1>might feel uncomfortable or it might change their opinion.

0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:23.000
<v Speaker 3>Or guess what, my vagina is uncomfortable.

0:20:23.160 --> 0:20:25.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just I just don't have a lot of sympathy.

0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.000
<v Speaker 1>And even when you know, we make jokes about partners

0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:30.320
<v Speaker 1>passing out or whatnot, I still don't have a lot

0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:30.880
<v Speaker 1>of sympathy.

0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:33.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I do, kick them to the side, continue

0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 2>on with birth.

0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:37.159
<v Speaker 3>They're making it about the I do only because I

0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:39.200
<v Speaker 3>worked in a hospital so long. I've seen so many

0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:42.320
<v Speaker 3>family members pass out over different things, like some people

0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:45.520
<v Speaker 3>can't stomach stuff, and I get it. And the reason

0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:49.280
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I want to say, yes, everybody should be

0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:51.200
<v Speaker 3>having a look, and you should be there and supporting

0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:53.800
<v Speaker 3>it if you can. I'm talking about people that are extreme,

0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:55.560
<v Speaker 3>like not people that just don't want to see their

0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:59.159
<v Speaker 3>pub get ripped apart. But I also think the people

0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.160
<v Speaker 3>that say it'll ruin it for me, like I don't

0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:03.040
<v Speaker 3>want to remember it like that, I won't ever be

0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:04.800
<v Speaker 3>able to look at the same Guess what is not

0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:06.960
<v Speaker 3>the same? A watermelon just came out of it, like

0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:10.240
<v Speaker 3>it's changed, We've changed. I hate I hate that kind

0:21:10.280 --> 0:21:14.120
<v Speaker 3>of stuff, But I just think, and you know, your

0:21:14.160 --> 0:21:15.840
<v Speaker 3>partner This is what it comes down to. You know,

0:21:15.920 --> 0:21:18.760
<v Speaker 3>your partner, if they're not gonna faint over, like, if

0:21:18.760 --> 0:21:21.119
<v Speaker 3>they're not blood fainters, then yes they can have a

0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:23.240
<v Speaker 3>fucking look, they can be there with you and support you.

0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:25.200
<v Speaker 1>But on that, let's unpack that for one second. When

0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:27.840
<v Speaker 1>you say it's changed, you just birthed the watermelon. It's

0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.800
<v Speaker 1>not the same, absolutely, But then we're inferring that a

0:21:31.960 --> 0:21:38.119
<v Speaker 1>pre virginal, perfect, unspoiled vagina is like the preferred version,

0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:40.600
<v Speaker 1>and like, yes, it might be changed, Yes there might

0:21:40.600 --> 0:21:42.480
<v Speaker 1>be things that don't go back to exactly the way,

0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:44.800
<v Speaker 1>but like, let me tell you, you can have vaginal births

0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:48.040
<v Speaker 1>and then go and still be able to, you know,

0:21:48.240 --> 0:21:50.919
<v Speaker 1>have fantastic sex and not be able to tell the difference.

0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:53.600
<v Speaker 3>No, but it's I'm saying it's their mind, yes exactly.

0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:56.360
<v Speaker 1>And that's the problem is that there's this like psychology

0:21:56.440 --> 0:21:58.080
<v Speaker 1>that once a woman's had a baby that.

0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:01.320
<v Speaker 2>Like it's all, oh, they've destroyed them. Yeah, fucking have it.

0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:03.679
<v Speaker 1>And it's just like I hate that it adds to

0:22:03.720 --> 0:22:06.080
<v Speaker 1>that sort of sigma around it for women.

0:22:06.240 --> 0:22:09.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but they're like freaking weirdos that are like, oh,

0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:11.120
<v Speaker 3>I can't I don't want to watch your breastfeed because

0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 3>I can't look at a breast the same like they

0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:14.520
<v Speaker 3>should be sexy, not a way of lying. And I

0:22:14.560 --> 0:22:17.000
<v Speaker 3>know that they're a minority, like that is not as common,

0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:21.040
<v Speaker 3>but they exist, like those people exist, So I don't know,

0:22:21.359 --> 0:22:23.080
<v Speaker 3>you know your partner at the end of the day.

0:22:23.200 --> 0:22:25.159
<v Speaker 3>Whilst you might like them to be down there, you

0:22:25.200 --> 0:22:27.919
<v Speaker 3>can't force them down there. I think it's a conversation

0:22:28.040 --> 0:22:30.199
<v Speaker 3>you need to have before you go into birth, like

0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:31.480
<v Speaker 3>how do you feel do you want to have a

0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:33.280
<v Speaker 3>look It would be really cool. I would like you

0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:35.960
<v Speaker 3>to see that moment. And if you think that they're

0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:40.280
<v Speaker 3>doing it for the right reason, like they're very vomity, fainty, lightheaded,

0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:42.679
<v Speaker 3>don't force them. But if they you think they're just

0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:44.760
<v Speaker 3>doing it because they're like can't look it a the same,

0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:46.919
<v Speaker 3>then fuck that. Yeah, and you grab their hair and

0:22:46.960 --> 0:22:47.960
<v Speaker 3>you push that down there.

0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:49.480
<v Speaker 2>I'll get it.

0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:52.080
<v Speaker 3>You get that head down there, you get it in there.

0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:53.640
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what?

0:22:53.680 --> 0:22:56.879
<v Speaker 1>I actually find really reassuring about this though, And this

0:22:57.040 --> 0:22:59.800
<v Speaker 1>is very subjective. It's only within my own sort of

0:22:59.840 --> 0:23:03.000
<v Speaker 1>like friendship network and people that I've spoken to. I

0:23:03.040 --> 0:23:06.200
<v Speaker 1>do think that often men have a perception of how

0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:08.880
<v Speaker 1>they think it's going to be, and they might even

0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:11.119
<v Speaker 1>have written their own sort of version of narrative of

0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:12.960
<v Speaker 1>like what childbirth is going to be, and Oh, I

0:23:12.960 --> 0:23:14.400
<v Speaker 1>don't want to go down there, I don't want to look.

0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:17.639
<v Speaker 1>I would say ninety nine point nine percent of dads

0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:19.680
<v Speaker 1>that I know that I've spoken to who have had

0:23:19.720 --> 0:23:22.480
<v Speaker 1>a look have been like, Wow, that was fucking amazing,

0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:26.000
<v Speaker 1>what absolute miracle, Like that was a really cool thing.

0:23:26.040 --> 0:23:28.960
<v Speaker 1>And the dads I'm thinking of in particular are probably

0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:30.960
<v Speaker 1>people who I would have thought would have been a

0:23:30.960 --> 0:23:33.399
<v Speaker 1>bit more like, oh my pub Burton down but really

0:23:33.680 --> 0:23:34.960
<v Speaker 1>they were the one that was like, hey, can I

0:23:35.000 --> 0:23:36.639
<v Speaker 1>send you the birth video? And I was like, maybe

0:23:36.720 --> 0:23:39.800
<v Speaker 1>check with my best friend first before you sent me.

0:23:40.280 --> 0:23:42.280
<v Speaker 2>Ben I'd because he was so excited.

0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:44.480
<v Speaker 3>You know, I'm interested to see how Ben would go

0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:47.200
<v Speaker 3>because he isn't actually very good with blood. I haven't

0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:49.879
<v Speaker 3>seen him faint, but i've seen him like with needles

0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:52.560
<v Speaker 3>and injections. I've seen him go very pale like he's

0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:54.919
<v Speaker 3>and he'll say I'm not great with it, which is weird,

0:23:54.960 --> 0:23:58.399
<v Speaker 3>like I don't know the psychology behind it. Because he

0:23:58.440 --> 0:24:00.959
<v Speaker 3>said he can get tattooed all day, Like, it's not

0:24:01.000 --> 0:24:03.480
<v Speaker 3>the needle in the pain, but it's something the psychology

0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:05.880
<v Speaker 3>to do with, like maybe you're withdrawing blood or it's

0:24:05.920 --> 0:24:09.080
<v Speaker 3>like a placenter injection or whatever. But I'll be interested.

0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:11.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm not convinced he'll be down there, but we'll see,

0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:11.640
<v Speaker 3>all right.

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Question number two, how do I tell my husband I've

0:24:15.080 --> 0:24:18.199
<v Speaker 1>been adding tomatoes to Sorry, this is so stupid to

0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:18.880
<v Speaker 1>his dishes?

0:24:19.240 --> 0:24:20.520
<v Speaker 2>Hear me out, though, you'll know why.

0:24:21.200 --> 0:24:23.520
<v Speaker 1>My husband told me when we met that he is

0:24:23.600 --> 0:24:27.119
<v Speaker 1>allergic to tomatoes, as in, he gets ibs from it and

0:24:27.160 --> 0:24:29.879
<v Speaker 1>he ends up on the toilet. For six years, I

0:24:29.920 --> 0:24:32.520
<v Speaker 1>have not cooked with tomatoes. Can you imagine how hard

0:24:32.560 --> 0:24:36.120
<v Speaker 1>that is? No tomato in any dishes. It has been hell.

0:24:36.560 --> 0:24:39.359
<v Speaker 1>But about four weeks ago I got ballsy. I started

0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:40.840
<v Speaker 1>adding tomatoes to things.

0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:42.960
<v Speaker 3>Like that is ballsy if someone's allergic, like.

0:24:42.960 --> 0:24:45.360
<v Speaker 2>To the bolonaise loll She writes.

0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:48.359
<v Speaker 1>I even blended it so he wouldn't see it. Oh

0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:51.840
<v Speaker 1>my god, it tasted amazing. God I'd missed tomatoes, it

0:24:51.880 --> 0:24:54.560
<v Speaker 1>had been so long. Anyways, he didn't run to the

0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:57.000
<v Speaker 1>toilet afterwards, and he said that that was my best

0:24:57.000 --> 0:25:00.439
<v Speaker 1>bolonnaise yet obviously because I had fucking tomatoes in So

0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:02.720
<v Speaker 1>the last four weeks I have been adding tomatoes to

0:25:02.800 --> 0:25:05.920
<v Speaker 1>our dinners and hiding it, and then he has been

0:25:05.960 --> 0:25:08.760
<v Speaker 1>completely fine. So my issue is this, how do I

0:25:08.800 --> 0:25:11.040
<v Speaker 1>tell him that he's not allergic to tomatoes? Or do

0:25:11.119 --> 0:25:12.240
<v Speaker 1>I just never tell him?

0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:15.399
<v Speaker 2>Help? He will soon be so mad if he finds

0:25:15.440 --> 0:25:16.640
<v Speaker 2>out what I have done to him.

0:25:19.000 --> 0:25:20.919
<v Speaker 3>I mean, first of all, I think we need to

0:25:20.920 --> 0:25:24.040
<v Speaker 3>put a disclaimer in if your partner's allergic to something

0:25:24.080 --> 0:25:27.160
<v Speaker 3>or things they are, don't like secretly try and test it.

0:25:27.400 --> 0:25:30.160
<v Speaker 3>We don't advise that why haven't you just cooked your

0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:32.399
<v Speaker 3>meals with tomato for six years? Six years is a

0:25:32.480 --> 0:25:34.960
<v Speaker 3>long time to like go without something.

0:25:34.720 --> 0:25:36.840
<v Speaker 2>No, because then you've got to cook two separate meals.

0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:39.040
<v Speaker 1>Like often, if you're the one who's cooking, you'll just

0:25:39.080 --> 0:25:41.399
<v Speaker 1>create one dish that is suitable for everyone.

0:25:41.440 --> 0:25:43.159
<v Speaker 3>Do you know what I think has happened. I'm going

0:25:43.200 --> 0:25:44.480
<v Speaker 3>to give him the benefit.

0:25:44.119 --> 0:25:44.879
<v Speaker 2>Of the doubt.

0:25:45.160 --> 0:25:49.080
<v Speaker 3>I think he probably did have reactions to tomatoes. Tomatoes

0:25:49.160 --> 0:25:52.119
<v Speaker 3>are like a proper IBS trigger. They are in the

0:25:52.160 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 3>fodmap group because of their high fructose, and a lot

0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:58.560
<v Speaker 3>of people have issues with tomatoes, but you can outgrow that.

0:25:58.760 --> 0:26:02.919
<v Speaker 3>He might have had that issue not consumed it for

0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:05.280
<v Speaker 3>the last six years, and maybe it's changed and he's

0:26:05.320 --> 0:26:07.160
<v Speaker 3>not having the reactions the same way. Like I don't

0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:10.040
<v Speaker 3>think he's lied to you about it. I'd be bringing

0:26:10.080 --> 0:26:12.280
<v Speaker 3>it up. I'm telling him because you can't. You can't

0:26:12.320 --> 0:26:14.520
<v Speaker 3>go the next twenty years of your marriage secretly like

0:26:14.640 --> 0:26:16.200
<v Speaker 3>dosing his food with tomato.

0:26:16.560 --> 0:26:19.560
<v Speaker 1>I think that it's important to distinguish and now I'm

0:26:19.560 --> 0:26:22.240
<v Speaker 1>going to take it real science y and probably more

0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:25.400
<v Speaker 1>seriously than I should. There's a difference between an allergy

0:26:25.480 --> 0:26:29.040
<v Speaker 1>and an intolerance, right, very different, and I think that

0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:31.440
<v Speaker 1>sometimes we conflate the two, and that's what makes people

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:33.639
<v Speaker 1>annoy it. There's so many people out there who are like,

0:26:33.960 --> 0:26:36.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm allergic to dairy, I'm allergic to wheat, I'm allergic

0:26:36.720 --> 0:26:39.520
<v Speaker 1>to gluten. Unless you are celiac, or unless you have

0:26:39.680 --> 0:26:42.600
<v Speaker 1>like a very severe reaction where you're anaphylactic and end

0:26:42.720 --> 0:26:44.680
<v Speaker 1>up in hospital, you are not allergic.

0:26:45.000 --> 0:26:47.560
<v Speaker 2>You have an intolerance, which means that you can have

0:26:47.600 --> 0:26:48.679
<v Speaker 2>small amounts of something.

0:26:48.680 --> 0:26:50.320
<v Speaker 1>The more you have of it, the more that there

0:26:50.359 --> 0:26:53.160
<v Speaker 1>is a likelihood that you'll have an adverse reaction. And

0:26:53.400 --> 0:26:56.600
<v Speaker 1>for me specifically, I have an intolerance to MSG. Like

0:26:57.080 --> 0:26:59.679
<v Speaker 1>I'm very sensitive to MSG and I have ended up

0:26:59.680 --> 0:27:03.280
<v Speaker 1>in hospital because I have had an anathletic reaction to it. However,

0:27:03.600 --> 0:27:06.760
<v Speaker 1>if I have small amounts, I'm okay. So if someone

0:27:06.840 --> 0:27:08.560
<v Speaker 1>was microdosing my food.

0:27:08.240 --> 0:27:09.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm still in hospital with it, be like, I'm not

0:27:09.760 --> 0:27:10.280
<v Speaker 3>gonna stop.

0:27:10.400 --> 0:27:14.720
<v Speaker 2>Like I really love Asian food, It's my favorite cuisine.

0:27:15.000 --> 0:27:16.439
<v Speaker 1>No, But the thing is is like I can have

0:27:16.480 --> 0:27:19.600
<v Speaker 1>small amounts and I can cope fine. My worry for

0:27:19.680 --> 0:27:22.240
<v Speaker 1>you in this situation is that your partner has an

0:27:22.240 --> 0:27:25.600
<v Speaker 1>intolerance to tomatoes, and yes, you might be microdosing him,

0:27:25.840 --> 0:27:27.400
<v Speaker 1>but the poor guy's gonna wake up in a few

0:27:27.440 --> 0:27:30.960
<v Speaker 1>weeks time be shitting the bed because you didn't listen

0:27:31.000 --> 0:27:33.159
<v Speaker 1>to him and he's just used the wrong terminology. So

0:27:33.320 --> 0:27:37.119
<v Speaker 1>I do think that that's a very very plausible situation

0:27:37.200 --> 0:27:39.560
<v Speaker 1>that's going to occur, and like he's gonna start having

0:27:39.560 --> 0:27:42.520
<v Speaker 1>these reactions and not know why. So I don't think

0:27:42.520 --> 0:27:46.000
<v Speaker 1>it's really like necessarily an aha moment, I got you,

0:27:46.000 --> 0:27:49.080
<v Speaker 1>you lie totally. But I do think we throw around

0:27:49.119 --> 0:27:51.359
<v Speaker 1>the terms to willy nilly these days, and people are

0:27:51.400 --> 0:27:53.399
<v Speaker 1>too quick to be like, I can't eat that because

0:27:53.400 --> 0:27:54.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm allergic to it, and it's like, oh

0:27:54.960 --> 0:27:57.720
<v Speaker 1>you might, you might get the runs for four hours,

0:27:57.760 --> 0:27:59.280
<v Speaker 1>you're find you know, die.

0:27:59.400 --> 0:28:01.720
<v Speaker 3>I think sometimes people say it because it's easier to

0:28:01.720 --> 0:28:05.199
<v Speaker 3>say to someone, so like if someone says, hey, like,

0:28:05.280 --> 0:28:08.960
<v Speaker 3>what are your dietary requirements? Sometimes so for me, because

0:28:08.960 --> 0:28:12.560
<v Speaker 3>I have such painful reactions with my ibs to garlic,

0:28:12.680 --> 0:28:16.879
<v Speaker 3>now it's easier for me to sometimes say to someone, oh, no, garlic,

0:28:16.880 --> 0:28:19.400
<v Speaker 3>I'm allergic. Like sometimes I'll throw the term away because

0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:21.440
<v Speaker 3>it's just easier to say, like, yes, I have a

0:28:21.480 --> 0:28:23.760
<v Speaker 3>severe reaction. Am I going to die from it? No,

0:28:24.000 --> 0:28:26.159
<v Speaker 3>but it's going to make me extremely uncomfortable for a

0:28:26.200 --> 0:28:26.600
<v Speaker 3>long time.

0:28:26.720 --> 0:28:28.919
<v Speaker 1>I wonder how restaurants respond to this. I'd be so

0:28:28.960 --> 0:28:31.199
<v Speaker 1>interested if you're a cook or a cheffer working in

0:28:31.200 --> 0:28:34.000
<v Speaker 1>a restaurant, because when someone says, you know, I'm allergic

0:28:34.040 --> 0:28:36.119
<v Speaker 1>to shellfish, the way that they have to prepare food

0:28:36.280 --> 0:28:39.080
<v Speaker 1>is so different to just you know, oh, I'm intolerant

0:28:39.120 --> 0:28:42.000
<v Speaker 1>to dairy. Like they're totally different ways in which they

0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:44.200
<v Speaker 1>have to prep a kitchen. So when everyone's like, oh,

0:28:44.200 --> 0:28:45.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm allergic to this, I'm allerged to this. It just

0:28:45.880 --> 0:28:47.800
<v Speaker 1>like creates, it's just becomes a bit of a pain

0:28:47.800 --> 0:28:48.200
<v Speaker 1>in the art.

0:28:48.280 --> 0:28:50.000
<v Speaker 3>I would never do it at a restaurant because that's

0:28:50.040 --> 0:28:50.880
<v Speaker 3>when I eat it, Yeah.

0:28:51.240 --> 0:28:53.480
<v Speaker 2>An Italian restaurants. Like I'm allergic to garlic.

0:28:53.600 --> 0:28:55.680
<v Speaker 3>I go to a garlic restaurant and I'm like, no garlic,

0:28:56.040 --> 0:28:56.640
<v Speaker 3>I reckon, I am.

0:28:56.640 --> 0:28:58.920
<v Speaker 1>I talked about this before. I have like the most

0:28:59.120 --> 0:29:03.200
<v Speaker 1>severe reaction. I'm fine, digestively fine. I just fucking stink

0:29:03.320 --> 0:29:04.000
<v Speaker 1>after garlic.

0:29:04.240 --> 0:29:06.080
<v Speaker 3>I look so bad.

0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:09.160
<v Speaker 2>It's like outrageous.

0:29:09.240 --> 0:29:11.800
<v Speaker 3>Like now we know we see you every day. Yeah,

0:29:11.840 --> 0:29:12.040
<v Speaker 3>I know.

0:29:12.120 --> 0:29:14.600
<v Speaker 2>I love you guys. Even even last night that was like,

0:29:14.600 --> 0:29:16.160
<v Speaker 2>did you eat garlic today? I was like, no, I

0:29:16.160 --> 0:29:19.640
<v Speaker 2>haven't even touched it. Did you look at garlic today?

0:29:20.800 --> 0:29:25.400
<v Speaker 3>I secretly micro dosed Ben's food. So Ben hates, like

0:29:25.680 --> 0:29:28.840
<v Speaker 3>detests mushrooms. He will not eat them, which is fine,

0:29:28.880 --> 0:29:30.680
<v Speaker 3>like I don't care for them. I cannot have them

0:29:30.680 --> 0:29:33.160
<v Speaker 3>in my life. He doesn't like the texture mainly. But

0:29:33.600 --> 0:29:35.600
<v Speaker 3>I really like one of my favorite foods to eat

0:29:35.600 --> 0:29:37.880
<v Speaker 3>out for an entres aran chining, and I really wanted

0:29:37.920 --> 0:29:39.400
<v Speaker 3>to get this aran chining, and I wanted to share

0:29:39.400 --> 0:29:41.480
<v Speaker 3>it with him, but it was mushroom and like a

0:29:41.520 --> 0:29:43.400
<v Speaker 3>parmesan or something. Anyway, I just lied to him and

0:29:43.440 --> 0:29:45.000
<v Speaker 3>told him it was cheese. He didn't look at them menu.

0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:45.880
<v Speaker 2>I just ordered it.

0:29:46.280 --> 0:29:48.360
<v Speaker 3>And he ate it and loved it. And then in

0:29:48.360 --> 0:29:52.160
<v Speaker 3>my head I was like, maybe he don't dislike mushrooms,

0:29:52.200 --> 0:29:54.959
<v Speaker 3>so maybe I'm going to start microdosing his food with mushroom.

0:29:55.000 --> 0:29:56.840
<v Speaker 1>But you did say that you think it's a texture

0:29:56.880 --> 0:29:59.040
<v Speaker 1>thing because a lot of people haven't abe to bit,

0:29:59.480 --> 0:30:02.240
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people have aversions to food. It's actually

0:30:02.280 --> 0:30:04.320
<v Speaker 1>got nothing to do with the flavor. It's got to

0:30:04.320 --> 0:30:07.320
<v Speaker 1>do the feeling and the texture of that food. So like, yeah,

0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:09.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean that's how you get kids around trying things

0:30:09.520 --> 0:30:11.320
<v Speaker 1>that they think they don't like. It's like they're like,

0:30:11.360 --> 0:30:13.360
<v Speaker 1>I hate mushrooms, You're like cool, you blend them, put

0:30:13.400 --> 0:30:14.800
<v Speaker 1>them in a soup, and then you figure out, actually

0:30:14.800 --> 0:30:15.280
<v Speaker 1>they're fine.

0:30:15.360 --> 0:30:17.160
<v Speaker 4>I want to back this woman and support her. I

0:30:17.200 --> 0:30:18.840
<v Speaker 4>once had a boyfriend who was a use of shit.

0:30:18.920 --> 0:30:20.720
<v Speaker 4>He used to about cheating on me all the time,

0:30:20.760 --> 0:30:22.400
<v Speaker 4>and he also turns out lied that he had an

0:30:22.400 --> 0:30:25.800
<v Speaker 4>a lactose intolerance when basically this went we were together for.

0:30:25.720 --> 0:30:27.560
<v Speaker 3>Like I don't know six months or something, maybe a

0:30:27.600 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 3>bit longer. But he used to claim that he.

0:30:29.320 --> 0:30:32.480
<v Speaker 4>Was completely lactose intolerant, and I used to use butter

0:30:32.640 --> 0:30:34.880
<v Speaker 4>to cook and I just kind of snuck it in

0:30:34.960 --> 0:30:35.560
<v Speaker 4>at one point.

0:30:35.640 --> 0:30:37.280
<v Speaker 3>He never had a problem. When she thought she could

0:30:37.320 --> 0:30:38.760
<v Speaker 3>get away with killing him, She's like, I'm going to

0:30:38.800 --> 0:30:39.400
<v Speaker 3>put the butter in.

0:30:39.480 --> 0:30:41.640
<v Speaker 2>It was when you found out he was cheating on you, wasn't.

0:30:41.400 --> 0:30:44.440
<v Speaker 1>It if you lie about everything, you check a stick

0:30:44.480 --> 0:30:45.760
<v Speaker 1>of wur pack in there, and off you go.

0:30:47.480 --> 0:30:49.360
<v Speaker 2>Let's see you go cheat on me now?

0:30:49.560 --> 0:30:51.400
<v Speaker 3>But no, he was always fine, and so I was like,

0:30:51.440 --> 0:30:51.960
<v Speaker 3>I knew that.

0:30:51.920 --> 0:30:53.920
<v Speaker 4>He made this up for drama, Like I knew he

0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:56.680
<v Speaker 4>just thought it added to his personality. I really want

0:30:56.680 --> 0:30:59.480
<v Speaker 4>to just say this because I know someone is going

0:30:59.520 --> 0:31:04.000
<v Speaker 4>to come in the reviews or the comments. Ways Lifers,

0:31:04.200 --> 0:31:07.320
<v Speaker 4>please do not do not follow this woman's advice. Do

0:31:07.440 --> 0:31:09.120
<v Speaker 4>not if your partner has told you, or someone your

0:31:09.200 --> 0:31:11.800
<v Speaker 4>dating has told you that they're allergic, just believe them

0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:15.200
<v Speaker 4>because the negative outcome that could happen is way.

0:31:14.880 --> 0:31:16.800
<v Speaker 2>Worse than you being right. In this instance.

0:31:16.920 --> 0:31:18.760
<v Speaker 3>You can go and do all guys, you can do

0:31:18.800 --> 0:31:21.040
<v Speaker 3>an allergy test. Go and do it properly. It's like

0:31:21.120 --> 0:31:22.920
<v Speaker 3>you don't have to eye it's not one extreme with

0:31:22.960 --> 0:31:24.760
<v Speaker 3>the other. You don't have to never eat something again

0:31:24.880 --> 0:31:27.200
<v Speaker 3>or try to kill them with microdozing, like you can

0:31:27.280 --> 0:31:29.600
<v Speaker 3>go and get tested. Have we answered whether she should

0:31:29.600 --> 0:31:33.640
<v Speaker 3>tell her husband? I said, tell him, Yeah, we have it.

0:31:33.640 --> 0:31:36.840
<v Speaker 3>Actually the question I think you need to tell him.

0:31:37.280 --> 0:31:40.040
<v Speaker 3>I think, but making a mistake, be like, oh my god,

0:31:40.320 --> 0:31:43.840
<v Speaker 3>I blanked and put tomato in the bolinnes last night.

0:31:43.920 --> 0:31:45.920
<v Speaker 1>I put posada in that. I had no idea that

0:31:45.960 --> 0:31:49.560
<v Speaker 1>posada was made from tomatoes. I have a much more

0:31:49.600 --> 0:31:52.280
<v Speaker 1>important question for you. I would love to know how

0:31:52.280 --> 0:31:54.440
<v Speaker 1>the fuck you were making bolinnies without.

0:31:54.160 --> 0:31:58.080
<v Speaker 4>Tomatoes in the first sounds like the worst, No wonder

0:31:58.120 --> 0:31:59.760
<v Speaker 4>he loved this one, Like what what?

0:32:00.400 --> 0:32:02.040
<v Speaker 2>Because bolonnaise is such.

0:32:01.880 --> 0:32:04.320
<v Speaker 3>A marmardo sauce, That's what I don't get. Wow.

0:32:04.440 --> 0:32:07.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I raise your question with another question.

0:32:07.480 --> 0:32:09.280
<v Speaker 3>Okay, this definitely needs to be an aftermath.

0:32:09.320 --> 0:32:10.680
<v Speaker 2>Tell us how you cook your bolonnise.

0:32:12.640 --> 0:32:15.920
<v Speaker 3>Next question, not inviting mom's new boyfriend to my wedding.

0:32:16.480 --> 0:32:20.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm getting married next year, yay, yay. But I have

0:32:20.120 --> 0:32:22.400
<v Speaker 3>a bit of a dilemma. My parents split a few

0:32:22.440 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 3>years ago, and since then my mum has had a

0:32:24.720 --> 0:32:27.120
<v Speaker 3>string of short term boyfriends.

0:32:26.600 --> 0:32:28.880
<v Speaker 2>So Queen, she's now dating someone new.

0:32:28.720 --> 0:32:30.760
<v Speaker 3>And will likely want to bring him to the wedding,

0:32:30.960 --> 0:32:33.080
<v Speaker 3>as she will want to parade her new man to

0:32:33.120 --> 0:32:35.560
<v Speaker 3>the rest of the family. That sounds a bit scathing,

0:32:35.600 --> 0:32:38.000
<v Speaker 3>doesn't it. That sounds like there's a bit of something

0:32:38.040 --> 0:32:40.400
<v Speaker 3>going on between the mother and daughter. Here's the issue.

0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:45.280
<v Speaker 3>I don't like him, fair that's pretty okay, that's pretty

0:32:45.480 --> 0:32:48.280
<v Speaker 3>platant issue. It's very likely they're not even going to

0:32:48.280 --> 0:32:51.280
<v Speaker 3>be together by then. Anyway. Our wedding is very small

0:32:51.280 --> 0:32:53.800
<v Speaker 3>and intimate, and I really don't want this random in

0:32:53.840 --> 0:32:56.960
<v Speaker 3>the photos, especially someone who might not be around long term.

0:32:57.280 --> 0:32:59.920
<v Speaker 3>Am I being unreasonable if I don't want to invite

0:33:00.120 --> 0:33:02.960
<v Speaker 3>him or whoever she's dating at the time, or is

0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:05.560
<v Speaker 3>it okay to gently set that boundary. I would love

0:33:05.600 --> 0:33:06.520
<v Speaker 3>to hear your thoughts.

0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I think we've answered this question in many variations over

0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:12.200
<v Speaker 1>the years. It's a really tricky one because of course

0:33:12.240 --> 0:33:13.760
<v Speaker 1>it's going to come with a drama. But in the

0:33:13.800 --> 0:33:15.880
<v Speaker 1>same instance, you don't have to have anyone at your

0:33:15.880 --> 0:33:18.160
<v Speaker 1>wedding that you don't want there. Does that mean that

0:33:18.200 --> 0:33:20.120
<v Speaker 1>your mom is going to react in a great way.

0:33:20.360 --> 0:33:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Who knows, Like, I don't know what type of person

0:33:22.520 --> 0:33:24.760
<v Speaker 1>your mum is. I don't know how she responds to feedback.

0:33:25.200 --> 0:33:28.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what scene she will cause. She might say,

0:33:28.400 --> 0:33:30.440
<v Speaker 1>of course, honey, like whatever you want, it's your day,

0:33:30.680 --> 0:33:32.040
<v Speaker 1>it's not my day, and I'm not going to make

0:33:32.040 --> 0:33:34.080
<v Speaker 1>it about me. She may also be a mother of

0:33:34.080 --> 0:33:37.320
<v Speaker 1>the generation that makes everything about her, so like, it's

0:33:37.400 --> 0:33:39.000
<v Speaker 1>really hard for us to know.

0:33:38.920 --> 0:33:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Exactly how this is going to impact you.

0:33:40.760 --> 0:33:42.760
<v Speaker 3>I am getting that from what she said, though, even

0:33:42.760 --> 0:33:46.240
<v Speaker 3>the way she said parade her in her the term parade,

0:33:46.560 --> 0:33:49.200
<v Speaker 3>and we've spoken about like how much our word can

0:33:49.280 --> 0:33:51.760
<v Speaker 3>change the structure or the meaning or the feeling of

0:33:51.760 --> 0:33:54.560
<v Speaker 3>a sentence. But the word parade, I'm getting the impression

0:33:54.600 --> 0:33:56.800
<v Speaker 3>there's a bit of disdain there. You feel like she

0:33:56.840 --> 0:33:57.560
<v Speaker 3>will want to make it.

0:33:57.480 --> 0:34:00.560
<v Speaker 1>About her totally, which you know, in your mom defense,

0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:03.520
<v Speaker 1>your mum would categorize that as I'm just happy and

0:34:03.560 --> 0:34:06.120
<v Speaker 1>living my best life and I'm proud, and you see

0:34:06.160 --> 0:34:09.320
<v Speaker 1>that as me parading. I do think that in this instance,

0:34:09.440 --> 0:34:11.680
<v Speaker 1>especially if the divorce is kind of recent or there's

0:34:11.719 --> 0:34:14.160
<v Speaker 1>some dramas there. Obviously your dad's going to be there.

0:34:14.360 --> 0:34:16.279
<v Speaker 1>Maybe that was her husband. I don't know, you know,

0:34:16.360 --> 0:34:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what the relationship set up was, but

0:34:19.520 --> 0:34:21.280
<v Speaker 1>I do think you can say, like, Mum.

0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:24.160
<v Speaker 2>You know, I really just want immediate family.

0:34:24.760 --> 0:34:27.479
<v Speaker 1>I don't know your partner that well, and I really

0:34:27.560 --> 0:34:30.160
<v Speaker 1>want it to be about us and having special time together,

0:34:30.719 --> 0:34:33.400
<v Speaker 1>not so much at being about the relationships. I just

0:34:33.440 --> 0:34:35.759
<v Speaker 1>don't want you to be having to spend time with

0:34:35.840 --> 0:34:37.279
<v Speaker 1>him when I want you to spend time with me

0:34:37.480 --> 0:34:38.920
<v Speaker 1>and be a big part of my wedding.

0:34:39.280 --> 0:34:40.640
<v Speaker 2>That could be a way around it.

0:34:41.040 --> 0:34:43.440
<v Speaker 1>I think that there is an uncomfortable conversation that's going

0:34:43.520 --> 0:34:46.560
<v Speaker 1>to happen here when you don't invite him. However, I

0:34:46.600 --> 0:34:49.839
<v Speaker 1>don't think that you're out of your rights not inviting him.

0:34:49.880 --> 0:34:51.840
<v Speaker 1>I think that you was totally within your rights to

0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:53.200
<v Speaker 1>say that you don't want him to be there.

0:34:53.440 --> 0:34:56.840
<v Speaker 3>I agree it gets tricky when it's someone so immediate

0:34:56.880 --> 0:35:00.400
<v Speaker 3>to you, so like type it's like an aunt here, uncle,

0:35:00.560 --> 0:35:03.120
<v Speaker 3>or a cousin or whatever. I feel like it's easier

0:35:03.480 --> 0:35:06.640
<v Speaker 3>when it's your mum. It's different, and I think it

0:35:06.719 --> 0:35:09.520
<v Speaker 3>might be different. You say it's like next year, so

0:35:09.560 --> 0:35:12.280
<v Speaker 3>it might be another year's time. If he's still around

0:35:12.320 --> 0:35:16.040
<v Speaker 3>by then, it's tricky because that is classified as a

0:35:16.040 --> 0:35:19.120
<v Speaker 3>lot a lot of term relationship that she deems as

0:35:19.160 --> 0:35:21.800
<v Speaker 3>I guess serious, because that's, you know, well over twelve months.

0:35:21.840 --> 0:35:23.359
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how new new is and I don't

0:35:23.360 --> 0:35:25.680
<v Speaker 3>know how far away the wedding is, so it gets trickier.

0:35:26.040 --> 0:35:29.520
<v Speaker 3>I would maybe train wait it out a little bit

0:35:29.560 --> 0:35:31.360
<v Speaker 3>and see how the relationship goes, like do you have

0:35:31.400 --> 0:35:34.560
<v Speaker 3>a few more months to see you'll get the impression

0:35:34.560 --> 0:35:36.600
<v Speaker 3>of if that relationship is probably gonna last or not,

0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:40.160
<v Speaker 3>And you said maybe it won't. You did also say

0:35:40.320 --> 0:35:42.719
<v Speaker 3>or maybe she'll be with someone else by then. That's

0:35:42.760 --> 0:35:46.280
<v Speaker 3>different if she's just met someone absolutely like you're like sorry,

0:35:46.360 --> 0:35:48.680
<v Speaker 3>like it's found me, only I don't know him. He's

0:35:48.680 --> 0:35:50.840
<v Speaker 3>been around for ten minutes, Like I think that that's okay.

0:35:51.239 --> 0:35:54.800
<v Speaker 3>It's only tricky because it's another year away. I'm getting

0:35:54.800 --> 0:35:57.799
<v Speaker 3>some underlying issues there, and I don't feel like it's

0:35:57.800 --> 0:36:00.319
<v Speaker 3>going to go down well. That conversation that it doesn't

0:36:00.320 --> 0:36:02.120
<v Speaker 3>mean you can't have it, and you're not entitled to

0:36:02.200 --> 0:36:04.839
<v Speaker 3>bring that up, Like plenty of people bring those conversations up,

0:36:05.200 --> 0:36:07.320
<v Speaker 3>and they're tough like I had to bring those conversations

0:36:07.360 --> 0:36:09.760
<v Speaker 3>up with people in my extended family over my wedding

0:36:10.239 --> 0:36:12.160
<v Speaker 3>and that was hard, Like I couldn't imagine if I

0:36:12.200 --> 0:36:14.239
<v Speaker 3>had to have that conversation with my mum or my dad.

0:36:14.360 --> 0:36:15.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I think you hit the nail on the head,

0:36:15.840 --> 0:36:18.319
<v Speaker 1>brit when she says parade her new man around. If

0:36:18.360 --> 0:36:19.919
<v Speaker 1>they've been together for more than a year and a half,

0:36:19.960 --> 0:36:21.839
<v Speaker 1>let's say, as an estimate, by the time the wedding

0:36:21.960 --> 0:36:24.239
<v Speaker 1>rolls around, it's not really her new man, is it.

0:36:24.239 --> 0:36:25.920
<v Speaker 2>It's just her partner.

0:36:26.320 --> 0:36:29.680
<v Speaker 1>So I can understand why when that date rolls around

0:36:29.800 --> 0:36:32.280
<v Speaker 1>that that will be something that will be a real wedge.

0:36:32.920 --> 0:36:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Like I said, it's really going to depend on the

0:36:35.960 --> 0:36:40.359
<v Speaker 1>personality of your parents. And I think we all have

0:36:40.680 --> 0:36:42.279
<v Speaker 1>a bit of a I think most of us can

0:36:42.360 --> 0:36:44.000
<v Speaker 1>kind of look at our mums or look at our dads,

0:36:44.360 --> 0:36:46.440
<v Speaker 1>and at the age that we are now, have a

0:36:46.520 --> 0:36:48.560
<v Speaker 1>gauge as to how they're going to react based on

0:36:48.760 --> 0:36:51.760
<v Speaker 1>the way that they have reacted in past situations, because

0:36:52.239 --> 0:36:55.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, parents don't just spontaneously behave differently. I don't

0:36:55.719 --> 0:36:58.920
<v Speaker 1>think surprise us with this like newfound sense of grace

0:36:59.239 --> 0:37:02.200
<v Speaker 1>or self awareness they usually are pretty set in their

0:37:02.239 --> 0:37:05.560
<v Speaker 1>patent behavior, and so I do think that you probably

0:37:05.640 --> 0:37:07.520
<v Speaker 1>know how your mum's going to react. Hence why you've

0:37:07.560 --> 0:37:09.319
<v Speaker 1>written this in because you know what's going to cause

0:37:09.320 --> 0:37:11.360
<v Speaker 1>a drama. You know what's going to be a big deal,

0:37:11.400 --> 0:37:13.839
<v Speaker 1>and you want to know if you're the problem in causing.

0:37:13.560 --> 0:37:14.160
<v Speaker 2>That big deal.

0:37:15.000 --> 0:37:18.600
<v Speaker 1>That's probably the bigger question here, and it really just

0:37:18.640 --> 0:37:21.000
<v Speaker 1>comes down to whether or not like what's going to

0:37:21.080 --> 0:37:24.080
<v Speaker 1>be the biggest problem is having some guy there that

0:37:24.200 --> 0:37:26.640
<v Speaker 1>will be in a few photos going to cause you

0:37:26.680 --> 0:37:30.279
<v Speaker 1>more distress than the potential family fallout or drama that

0:37:30.360 --> 0:37:32.000
<v Speaker 1>might happen by not inviting him.

0:37:32.080 --> 0:37:33.160
<v Speaker 2>And that's for you to weigh.

0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:35.759
<v Speaker 3>Up also because if it is, I mean, it's more

0:37:35.800 --> 0:37:38.000
<v Speaker 3>than that you don't like him. It's hard you flat

0:37:38.000 --> 0:37:39.600
<v Speaker 3>out don't like him, right, I don't want someone in

0:37:39.640 --> 0:37:42.040
<v Speaker 3>my wedding that I don't like either. But if it's

0:37:42.040 --> 0:37:44.040
<v Speaker 3>more around the photos. We spoke about this in the

0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:45.920
<v Speaker 3>last couple of weeks on an ask on cut you

0:37:46.120 --> 0:37:49.280
<v Speaker 3>just do photos without him as well? Hey, guys, immediate

0:37:49.320 --> 0:37:51.600
<v Speaker 3>family only now and then you always have the best

0:37:51.600 --> 0:37:52.280
<v Speaker 3>of both worlds.

0:37:52.400 --> 0:37:55.360
<v Speaker 2>I totally agree, totally agree, all right, last question.

0:37:55.400 --> 0:37:57.359
<v Speaker 1>It's a bit of a long one, but you got

0:37:57.360 --> 0:37:59.560
<v Speaker 1>some skin in the game with this one who moves

0:38:00.120 --> 0:38:03.080
<v Speaker 1>long distance love. I'm twenty spoiler, I wrote this inn

0:38:03.560 --> 0:38:05.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm twenty five now, yeah.

0:38:05.560 --> 0:38:06.880
<v Speaker 3>Right now, that would be me.

0:38:07.080 --> 0:38:07.680
<v Speaker 2>That would be me.

0:38:07.760 --> 0:38:08.879
<v Speaker 3>Hey guys, I'm twenty two.

0:38:09.880 --> 0:38:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm twenty five.

0:38:11.239 --> 0:38:13.040
<v Speaker 1>I met the man of my dreams during a two

0:38:13.080 --> 0:38:15.960
<v Speaker 1>week Kenttiquy tour. We clicked the moment we met.

0:38:16.120 --> 0:38:17.120
<v Speaker 3>Dude.

0:38:17.160 --> 0:38:20.320
<v Speaker 1>He genuinely is everything I've ever wanted and more, except

0:38:20.360 --> 0:38:23.200
<v Speaker 1>he lives in Canada and I'm Australian. I have spent

0:38:23.360 --> 0:38:27.160
<v Speaker 1>literally my entire life focusing on my academics, sacrificing every

0:38:27.280 --> 0:38:30.320
<v Speaker 1>family event imaginable to do this. I'm now a junior

0:38:30.360 --> 0:38:34.160
<v Speaker 1>doctor with an immaculate reputation and planning to specialize in anesthetics,

0:38:34.360 --> 0:38:37.400
<v Speaker 1>which is very competitive. I don't have a medical license

0:38:37.400 --> 0:38:39.880
<v Speaker 1>in Canada. To get one, it would be two exams

0:38:39.960 --> 0:38:42.800
<v Speaker 1>costing five thousand dollars. Assuming that is that I passed

0:38:42.800 --> 0:38:45.239
<v Speaker 1>the first time, then I don't think I'd have much

0:38:45.239 --> 0:38:48.240
<v Speaker 1>of a chance getting into anesthetics in a foreign country.

0:38:48.320 --> 0:38:50.640
<v Speaker 1>He has spent ten years working his way up the

0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:53.200
<v Speaker 1>hierarchy of a jewelry store company where he is now

0:38:53.239 --> 0:38:56.200
<v Speaker 1>the top manager. He's moved twice to open new stores

0:38:56.200 --> 0:38:59.200
<v Speaker 1>for them. Apparently there is very few jewry suppliers for

0:38:59.239 --> 0:39:02.160
<v Speaker 1>the stores, like the wholesales I assume in Canada, and

0:39:02.200 --> 0:39:04.960
<v Speaker 1>his dad owns one of them. And this guy plans

0:39:04.960 --> 0:39:08.239
<v Speaker 1>to work for his dad eventually. This work opportunity for

0:39:08.320 --> 0:39:12.040
<v Speaker 1>him sounds like it is potentially a multi million dollar opportunity,

0:39:12.360 --> 0:39:14.759
<v Speaker 1>So it's going to be incredibly difficult for either of

0:39:14.840 --> 0:39:17.319
<v Speaker 1>us to move. It feels like one of us will

0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:19.680
<v Speaker 1>take a massive step back in our careers that we

0:39:19.719 --> 0:39:20.719
<v Speaker 1>will never overcome.

0:39:20.920 --> 0:39:23.040
<v Speaker 2>What should I do? Do we need to give up?

0:39:23.080 --> 0:39:23.279
<v Speaker 3>Now?

0:39:23.440 --> 0:39:25.200
<v Speaker 1>We are both on the same page that we've never

0:39:25.200 --> 0:39:27.839
<v Speaker 1>had a connection like this before, and I truly think

0:39:27.880 --> 0:39:30.239
<v Speaker 1>he could be my penguin. We've been spending hours on

0:39:30.280 --> 0:39:32.919
<v Speaker 1>the phone every day since we met, and we want

0:39:32.920 --> 0:39:34.759
<v Speaker 1>to make it work. But how I don't know how

0:39:34.800 --> 0:39:36.440
<v Speaker 1>to ask for one of us to make the ultimate

0:39:36.480 --> 0:39:39.760
<v Speaker 1>sacrifice when we are both so career driven. Who should

0:39:39.800 --> 0:39:42.319
<v Speaker 1>sacrifice their career to move for long distance love?

0:39:42.840 --> 0:39:47.200
<v Speaker 3>This is so hard but also not hot.

0:39:47.719 --> 0:39:49.480
<v Speaker 2>But it's like I can't even relate.

0:39:50.200 --> 0:39:52.080
<v Speaker 3>No, I mean, this is my dire life. Yeah, I

0:39:52.520 --> 0:39:55.239
<v Speaker 3>know I read this and I just felt everything that

0:39:55.280 --> 0:39:57.200
<v Speaker 3>you're feeling, and I know how it feels. But what

0:39:57.239 --> 0:39:59.000
<v Speaker 3>I do want to say is, for me, this one's

0:39:59.040 --> 0:40:02.040
<v Speaker 3>a little bit more more obvious. There is not one

0:40:02.080 --> 0:40:03.839
<v Speaker 3>part of me that thinks you should give up your

0:40:03.880 --> 0:40:07.000
<v Speaker 3>career to go and move and be with him. And

0:40:07.080 --> 0:40:11.319
<v Speaker 3>I say that because not all careers are equal. And

0:40:12.280 --> 0:40:14.799
<v Speaker 3>this is because if you get onto the anesthetics program,

0:40:14.840 --> 0:40:17.400
<v Speaker 3>which you've studied for, it's like another eight years of

0:40:17.440 --> 0:40:19.600
<v Speaker 3>trying to study, do your exams. That's if you get

0:40:19.600 --> 0:40:23.759
<v Speaker 3>on straight away, do your residencies, become a consultant, like

0:40:23.840 --> 0:40:26.239
<v Speaker 3>that is your whole life. You've dedicated and you've even

0:40:26.280 --> 0:40:28.719
<v Speaker 3>said that, You've said I've dedicated my whole life. You've

0:40:28.719 --> 0:40:31.440
<v Speaker 3>looked into going, so you are willing to. But if

0:40:31.480 --> 0:40:33.720
<v Speaker 3>it's going to be detrimental to your career at this point,

0:40:33.960 --> 0:40:36.160
<v Speaker 3>I would be looking for a different option.

0:40:37.080 --> 0:40:37.440
<v Speaker 2>Now.

0:40:38.800 --> 0:40:42.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to diminish this guy's career by any means,

0:40:43.120 --> 0:40:45.680
<v Speaker 3>but from the information you've given me, I just think

0:40:45.680 --> 0:40:48.560
<v Speaker 3>he has more leniency to come here for a little while.

0:40:48.560 --> 0:40:50.640
<v Speaker 3>If it's a family business, I'm sure he can talk

0:40:50.680 --> 0:40:53.359
<v Speaker 3>to his dad in some capacity and say, hey, I

0:40:53.400 --> 0:40:56.120
<v Speaker 3>could have met the love of my life, like she

0:40:56.200 --> 0:40:58.719
<v Speaker 3>could be the one. You guys need to spend some

0:40:58.760 --> 0:41:00.600
<v Speaker 3>time together and figure out if it's even a thing,

0:41:00.760 --> 0:41:04.040
<v Speaker 3>because like we all know, a month, look, I married

0:41:04.040 --> 0:41:05.640
<v Speaker 3>the guy I met for three days. I get that,

0:41:05.760 --> 0:41:07.680
<v Speaker 3>but that very well could have gone down the gurgler

0:41:07.680 --> 0:41:09.600
<v Speaker 3>and not been something like you do have to put

0:41:09.600 --> 0:41:11.680
<v Speaker 3>in the time to try and see if it is it.

0:41:12.640 --> 0:41:15.080
<v Speaker 3>I would be going down the track of trying to

0:41:15.120 --> 0:41:18.640
<v Speaker 3>see if he can make his move to Australia work,

0:41:18.760 --> 0:41:20.760
<v Speaker 3>or if not, if he can just travel in between

0:41:20.760 --> 0:41:23.360
<v Speaker 3>a little bit more, because you can't travel anyone that

0:41:23.440 --> 0:41:25.400
<v Speaker 3>knows what it's like when you are at the stages

0:41:25.440 --> 0:41:27.719
<v Speaker 3>you are of your study and a doctor. You don't

0:41:27.719 --> 0:41:29.800
<v Speaker 3>get time to just duck over every couple of weeks

0:41:29.800 --> 0:41:31.719
<v Speaker 3>to Canada. It doesn't look like that. You barely get

0:41:31.719 --> 0:41:34.680
<v Speaker 3>a fucking day off. So I would be saying, can

0:41:34.719 --> 0:41:37.360
<v Speaker 3>he work around it? Does he have any leniency with

0:41:37.440 --> 0:41:39.960
<v Speaker 3>his dad's like it's his family's business. Maybe he can

0:41:39.960 --> 0:41:41.440
<v Speaker 3>come back in a couple of years and you can

0:41:41.480 --> 0:41:44.480
<v Speaker 3>move back. I tried to go and work in Canada.

0:41:44.600 --> 0:41:47.400
<v Speaker 3>My sister and I and it to get the medical license.

0:41:48.040 --> 0:41:51.040
<v Speaker 3>Some countries you just go over, you pay the fee

0:41:51.320 --> 0:41:52.320
<v Speaker 3>and you can start working.

0:41:52.400 --> 0:41:52.560
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:41:52.560 --> 0:41:54.960
<v Speaker 3>You think medicine is medicine wherever in the world. Canada's

0:41:55.000 --> 0:41:57.440
<v Speaker 3>laws are so hard, like there's so many exams, you sit,

0:41:58.320 --> 0:42:00.520
<v Speaker 3>it's so expensive that we ended up. I'm just going

0:42:00.600 --> 0:42:02.719
<v Speaker 3>and doing nothing. My sister was a bellboy, Like we

0:42:02.800 --> 0:42:04.799
<v Speaker 3>just said, hey, too hard, basket, which is going to work.

0:42:04.840 --> 0:42:07.400
<v Speaker 3>So I totally get it, but I don't want to

0:42:07.440 --> 0:42:10.520
<v Speaker 3>say give up on the relationship either. If you do

0:42:10.600 --> 0:42:12.680
<v Speaker 3>think it is it. But I would be so upset

0:42:12.760 --> 0:42:16.239
<v Speaker 3>for you if you gave up all your hard work

0:42:16.239 --> 0:42:19.520
<v Speaker 3>to get to this position now without one hundred percent

0:42:19.600 --> 0:42:20.880
<v Speaker 3>knowing if this is your person.

0:42:21.520 --> 0:42:23.880
<v Speaker 1>I think I disagree with you slightly in this because

0:42:24.200 --> 0:42:26.280
<v Speaker 1>when you say not all careers are built the same,

0:42:26.719 --> 0:42:28.840
<v Speaker 1>I think what you're saying is that then there's a

0:42:28.920 --> 0:42:30.920
<v Speaker 1>hierarchy in terms of importance.

0:42:31.080 --> 0:42:33.319
<v Speaker 3>And I don't think I don't mean importance. I mean

0:42:33.520 --> 0:42:36.560
<v Speaker 3>with your ability to travel, Like some careers can travel,

0:42:36.760 --> 0:42:38.400
<v Speaker 3>hers cannot totally.

0:42:38.440 --> 0:42:40.200
<v Speaker 1>But it depends on what the career is that he

0:42:40.320 --> 0:42:42.480
<v Speaker 1>has and the opportunity he has in where he's worked

0:42:42.520 --> 0:42:44.680
<v Speaker 1>he's also spent ten years working his way up the

0:42:44.760 --> 0:42:48.160
<v Speaker 1>hierarchy of this juristal company where he is now their

0:42:48.200 --> 0:42:48.960
<v Speaker 1>top manager.

0:42:49.440 --> 0:42:51.000
<v Speaker 2>That's important to him, and.

0:42:50.840 --> 0:42:53.799
<v Speaker 1>That's something that is of a priority to him that

0:42:53.840 --> 0:42:56.799
<v Speaker 1>he's communicating, and it's something that he has spent a

0:42:56.880 --> 0:43:00.200
<v Speaker 1>decade being ambitious and working towards. I think it's unfair

0:43:00.280 --> 0:43:02.560
<v Speaker 1>to expect that he would give that up just because

0:43:02.560 --> 0:43:04.440
<v Speaker 1>his is not in a medical field and yours is.

0:43:05.000 --> 0:43:08.959
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely some have the flexibility to travel. I don't think,

0:43:09.120 --> 0:43:11.520
<v Speaker 1>by the sounds of the way that this question was framed,

0:43:11.600 --> 0:43:13.680
<v Speaker 1>that this man works for his dad. He works in

0:43:13.719 --> 0:43:15.920
<v Speaker 1>a company that his dad owns one of the businesses

0:43:15.960 --> 0:43:19.040
<v Speaker 1>of with the intention that in the future he will

0:43:19.080 --> 0:43:21.880
<v Speaker 1>work in his dad's company. But you also said he

0:43:21.920 --> 0:43:24.080
<v Speaker 1>spent ten years of his life working his way up

0:43:24.400 --> 0:43:26.719
<v Speaker 1>the hierarchy of a jewelry store company where he's now

0:43:26.840 --> 0:43:30.400
<v Speaker 1>their top manager. I understand why he doesn't want to

0:43:30.400 --> 0:43:33.800
<v Speaker 1>make that sacrifice either, And I guess my feeling towards

0:43:33.880 --> 0:43:37.680
<v Speaker 1>this is I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone

0:43:37.960 --> 0:43:40.600
<v Speaker 1>when neither of us are willing to sacrifice, because that's

0:43:40.640 --> 0:43:42.279
<v Speaker 1>the thing that you have to probably get to the

0:43:42.280 --> 0:43:45.120
<v Speaker 1>bottom of if you can't and you won't and you're

0:43:45.160 --> 0:43:47.920
<v Speaker 1>not able to, and he's also saying he can't and

0:43:47.960 --> 0:43:50.479
<v Speaker 1>he won't and he's not able to, regardless of whether

0:43:50.520 --> 0:43:53.200
<v Speaker 1>you think he's able to, regardless of whether you think

0:43:53.239 --> 0:43:55.360
<v Speaker 1>he should be the one to move, if he's not

0:43:55.360 --> 0:43:58.160
<v Speaker 1>willing to make those sacrifices or you know, isn't able

0:43:58.200 --> 0:44:01.040
<v Speaker 1>to because his career is something that's so important to him,

0:44:01.320 --> 0:44:03.279
<v Speaker 1>then I'm kind of am curious as to why you

0:44:03.280 --> 0:44:06.040
<v Speaker 1>would put all of the time and energy into it.

0:44:06.080 --> 0:44:07.920
<v Speaker 1>I know, well, like brit when we've had this conversations

0:44:07.960 --> 0:44:11.240
<v Speaker 1>about it being about you, like your career is different.

0:44:11.440 --> 0:44:12.920
<v Speaker 1>You know, if there's going to be someone who's going

0:44:13.000 --> 0:44:15.279
<v Speaker 1>to move, it would be you. Of course it would

0:44:15.280 --> 0:44:18.400
<v Speaker 1>come with sacrifices, but you would still be able to

0:44:18.440 --> 0:44:20.040
<v Speaker 1>do a lot of the things that we do here

0:44:20.120 --> 0:44:23.320
<v Speaker 1>from overseas. I don't know if this is the same situation,

0:44:23.400 --> 0:44:24.759
<v Speaker 1>and I know that you've said that it's going to

0:44:24.800 --> 0:44:27.640
<v Speaker 1>cost five thousand dollars and there's all of these caveats.

0:44:28.239 --> 0:44:32.000
<v Speaker 1>I do think that very very big and deep chats

0:44:32.000 --> 0:44:33.880
<v Speaker 1>should be had. It's great to spend, you know, so

0:44:33.960 --> 0:44:36.520
<v Speaker 1>much time on the phone, talking but figuring out like

0:44:36.640 --> 0:44:39.200
<v Speaker 1>if it's a possibility between the two of you, because

0:44:39.239 --> 0:44:40.839
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it's fair for any one of us

0:44:40.840 --> 0:44:43.160
<v Speaker 1>to sit here and say who should sacrifice their career

0:44:43.200 --> 0:44:45.520
<v Speaker 1>to move long distance, because I don't think it's just

0:44:45.560 --> 0:44:49.240
<v Speaker 1>about career. It's sacrificing your family, it's sacrificing your stability,

0:44:49.280 --> 0:44:52.239
<v Speaker 1>it's sacrificing your friendship groups, it's sacrificing living in a

0:44:52.239 --> 0:44:55.560
<v Speaker 1>completely different country. And the thing is is that in

0:44:55.680 --> 0:44:59.279
<v Speaker 1>order for this relationship to work, one person has to

0:44:59.280 --> 0:45:01.640
<v Speaker 1>be willing to make that sacrifice, and it sounds like

0:45:01.760 --> 0:45:04.760
<v Speaker 1>at the moment neither of you are, So I don't

0:45:04.760 --> 0:45:08.560
<v Speaker 1>know whether it is worth the emotional investment. But that's

0:45:08.640 --> 0:45:11.960
<v Speaker 1>just how I would rather have those conversations upfront and

0:45:12.000 --> 0:45:14.360
<v Speaker 1>figure out whether it's a possibility, because you've made it

0:45:14.400 --> 0:45:16.600
<v Speaker 1>really clear in your question that that's just simply not

0:45:16.640 --> 0:45:17.600
<v Speaker 1>a possibility for you.

0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:19.120
<v Speaker 2>So you're expecting a lot of him.

0:45:19.440 --> 0:45:21.920
<v Speaker 3>The thing is, every relationship, long distance or not, every

0:45:21.960 --> 0:45:24.680
<v Speaker 3>single relationship has sacrificed. There's no such thing as a

0:45:24.719 --> 0:45:27.680
<v Speaker 3>relationship without sacrifice. In the day to day, in the parenting,

0:45:27.920 --> 0:45:31.839
<v Speaker 3>with work, with moves, with everything there's definitely more sacrifice

0:45:31.880 --> 0:45:35.680
<v Speaker 3>from somebody in a long distance relationship, without doubt, and

0:45:35.840 --> 0:45:38.239
<v Speaker 3>one of you does have to be okay to do it.

0:45:39.520 --> 0:45:42.759
<v Speaker 3>I just don't think in this situation, and I mean

0:45:42.800 --> 0:45:44.560
<v Speaker 3>we only know what you've told us. I don't think

0:45:44.600 --> 0:45:46.560
<v Speaker 3>in this situation it is the right thing for you

0:45:46.600 --> 0:45:52.520
<v Speaker 3>to do, to go now, unless you know that it

0:45:52.600 --> 0:45:56.080
<v Speaker 3>is something solid and real. Because if you go there

0:45:56.239 --> 0:45:58.920
<v Speaker 3>and you see the exams, you spend ten to fifteen

0:45:58.960 --> 0:46:01.760
<v Speaker 3>thousand dollars if you part them, and then you start

0:46:01.840 --> 0:46:05.200
<v Speaker 3>in a new country your medical training, then something goes

0:46:05.239 --> 0:46:06.960
<v Speaker 3>south and he says, you know what. Not for me,

0:46:07.120 --> 0:46:10.200
<v Speaker 3>you're stuck on a program in another country with people

0:46:10.239 --> 0:46:12.200
<v Speaker 3>you don't know. I'd be trying to spend some more

0:46:12.239 --> 0:46:14.520
<v Speaker 3>time together. Whether he can come to you in the

0:46:14.560 --> 0:46:16.799
<v Speaker 3>interim for a holiday. You definitely need to spend more

0:46:16.840 --> 0:46:19.839
<v Speaker 3>time than two weeks on Kentiqi, because I get why

0:46:19.840 --> 0:46:22.600
<v Speaker 3>there's chemistry after two weeks in KENTICKI, like, I've been there.

0:46:22.640 --> 0:46:26.520
<v Speaker 3>I get it, But I would be then having those conversations. Yes,

0:46:26.560 --> 0:46:28.560
<v Speaker 3>it sounds like you can go. It's not easy. You

0:46:28.600 --> 0:46:30.480
<v Speaker 3>do have to sit exams and it is a lot

0:46:30.480 --> 0:46:32.560
<v Speaker 3>of money. I would be asking him to pay half

0:46:32.560 --> 0:46:35.040
<v Speaker 3>of that as well. Everything's half like if you're going

0:46:35.120 --> 0:46:38.040
<v Speaker 3>to make that sacrifice, But I would also be having

0:46:38.040 --> 0:46:41.520
<v Speaker 3>bigger conversations about what it would look like for both

0:46:41.600 --> 0:46:44.040
<v Speaker 3>of you to do it. So write down and chat

0:46:44.080 --> 0:46:45.880
<v Speaker 3>about what it looks like for you to do it,

0:46:45.920 --> 0:46:47.760
<v Speaker 3>What has to happen, what has to be in place,

0:46:47.760 --> 0:46:50.239
<v Speaker 3>what wheels are in motion, what sacrifice there is will

0:46:50.320 --> 0:46:53.799
<v Speaker 3>put your career back, do the same for him? Maybe,

0:46:54.120 --> 0:46:55.680
<v Speaker 3>and this is what Ben and I talk about, but

0:46:55.719 --> 0:46:58.840
<v Speaker 3>maybe there is an opportunity for both. Maybe in some

0:46:59.080 --> 0:47:01.920
<v Speaker 3>world he can come here now for a couple of years,

0:47:01.960 --> 0:47:03.880
<v Speaker 3>and then when I'm like more locked in my career,

0:47:03.920 --> 0:47:05.239
<v Speaker 3>we can go over there, and then maybe you can

0:47:05.280 --> 0:47:07.640
<v Speaker 3>be a doctor in Canada. But at the end of

0:47:07.680 --> 0:47:09.440
<v Speaker 3>the day, if you both come and say, well, I'm

0:47:09.440 --> 0:47:11.719
<v Speaker 3>not moving and I'm not moving, you either are going

0:47:11.719 --> 0:47:13.520
<v Speaker 3>to be in a relationship that has no end date,

0:47:13.560 --> 0:47:15.439
<v Speaker 3>which is no point if you're not seeing each other

0:47:15.480 --> 0:47:18.560
<v Speaker 3>and you're not working towards the future. It's okay if

0:47:18.560 --> 0:47:21.040
<v Speaker 3>you're in long distance, but you're working towards the same thing.

0:47:21.120 --> 0:47:22.560
<v Speaker 3>But if you guys can't get on the page of

0:47:22.600 --> 0:47:25.520
<v Speaker 3>what you're even working towards. Yeah, I would probably be

0:47:25.560 --> 0:47:26.480
<v Speaker 3>cutting my losses.

0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:29.240
<v Speaker 1>If you were willing to do that, then the cost

0:47:29.280 --> 0:47:32.319
<v Speaker 1>of doing that is absolute parody. Like he's he needs

0:47:32.360 --> 0:47:34.520
<v Speaker 1>to show the commitment to the sacrifices that are being

0:47:34.560 --> 0:47:37.240
<v Speaker 1>made as well. I think that when you are doing

0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:40.279
<v Speaker 1>and navigating a long distance relationship like this, look, go

0:47:40.360 --> 0:47:42.319
<v Speaker 1>over there, have a holiday. He can come here for

0:47:42.360 --> 0:47:45.200
<v Speaker 1>a holiday. See if there's actually some sort of stability

0:47:45.200 --> 0:47:46.080
<v Speaker 1>and reality to it.

0:47:46.200 --> 0:47:48.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when you're not on cantique.

0:47:48.360 --> 0:47:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Is that even going to be like necessarily enough, like

0:47:52.160 --> 0:47:53.439
<v Speaker 1>you know, going on a two week trip.

0:47:53.480 --> 0:47:54.880
<v Speaker 2>I mean it was for you, Britt. Is that going

0:47:54.920 --> 0:47:56.480
<v Speaker 2>to be the case for everyone? I don't know.

0:47:56.640 --> 0:47:58.560
<v Speaker 3>Some people live with a partner for five years and

0:47:58.560 --> 0:47:59.080
<v Speaker 3>it's not enough.

0:47:59.280 --> 0:48:01.480
<v Speaker 1>If you don't know, you don't know. But I think

0:48:01.480 --> 0:48:04.560
<v Speaker 1>that that part of it's worth a try. My only

0:48:04.640 --> 0:48:07.080
<v Speaker 1>thing though, is when you're in a long distance relationship

0:48:07.160 --> 0:48:10.719
<v Speaker 1>like this, big conversations have to happen earlier and the

0:48:10.800 --> 0:48:13.959
<v Speaker 1>sooner that you can have those big conversations where maybe

0:48:14.040 --> 0:48:16.440
<v Speaker 1>the answers aren't the answers you want to hear, but

0:48:16.560 --> 0:48:18.960
<v Speaker 1>you need to hear them in order to progress or

0:48:18.960 --> 0:48:22.920
<v Speaker 1>make decisions. I think, don't shy away from this conversation

0:48:22.960 --> 0:48:25.400
<v Speaker 1>you're having with us, have it with him. Like you

0:48:25.440 --> 0:48:28.680
<v Speaker 1>can have that conversation with him. It's not overbearing, it's

0:48:28.719 --> 0:48:31.359
<v Speaker 1>not too much because you're both trying to figure out

0:48:31.400 --> 0:48:33.440
<v Speaker 1>how it could be possible for your.

0:48:33.280 --> 0:48:34.000
<v Speaker 2>Life to work.

0:48:34.360 --> 0:48:36.880
<v Speaker 1>And if he turns around and says, I'd love you

0:48:36.920 --> 0:48:38.719
<v Speaker 1>to come here for a holiday, but I want you

0:48:38.760 --> 0:48:41.520
<v Speaker 1>to know there's absolutely no possibility that I'm ever going

0:48:41.560 --> 0:48:44.279
<v Speaker 1>to move to Australia or could ever move to Australia,

0:48:44.680 --> 0:48:46.600
<v Speaker 1>well then you know, you know who's going to have

0:48:46.640 --> 0:48:48.640
<v Speaker 1>to make the sacrifice. But I don't think it's fair

0:48:48.719 --> 0:48:50.680
<v Speaker 1>to assume that he would be the person to do

0:48:50.719 --> 0:48:52.960
<v Speaker 1>that when he's saying he's spent a decade of his

0:48:53.000 --> 0:48:55.480
<v Speaker 1>life working towards something that's clearly really important to him.

0:48:56.080 --> 0:48:57.840
<v Speaker 3>You know, with Ben and I we had that conversation

0:48:58.000 --> 0:49:00.520
<v Speaker 3>both ways where I said, well, well, look like if

0:49:00.560 --> 0:49:02.040
<v Speaker 3>I come to you, and what does it look like

0:49:02.040 --> 0:49:04.640
<v Speaker 3>if you come to him? He looked into coming here,

0:49:04.680 --> 0:49:06.920
<v Speaker 3>but you can't just come. There's X amount of teams

0:49:07.040 --> 0:49:09.840
<v Speaker 3>that sign positions for three years and they're in contracts

0:49:09.840 --> 0:49:11.239
<v Speaker 3>and if there's not a spot for you. There's not

0:49:11.280 --> 0:49:13.440
<v Speaker 3>a spot for you. So when I say not all

0:49:13.480 --> 0:49:16.680
<v Speaker 3>careers are created equal, that's what I mean. No one's

0:49:16.719 --> 0:49:19.319
<v Speaker 3>more important in their career, Like you can't say that,

0:49:19.400 --> 0:49:22.920
<v Speaker 3>but some careers physically are not malleable enough to be

0:49:22.960 --> 0:49:25.719
<v Speaker 3>able to pick up and take somewhere else. The only

0:49:25.760 --> 0:49:28.040
<v Speaker 3>other thing I want to say, and it's like contradictory

0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:31.040
<v Speaker 3>to everything that I did. I know, but you don't

0:49:31.120 --> 0:49:33.040
<v Speaker 3>know if he's a man of your dreams after a

0:49:33.080 --> 0:49:36.799
<v Speaker 3>two week Wintiqui. And he very well could be. But

0:49:36.920 --> 0:49:39.799
<v Speaker 3>it's really easy to get caught up in the chemistry and.

0:49:39.719 --> 0:49:40.839
<v Speaker 2>The love and excitement.

0:49:41.000 --> 0:49:43.720
<v Speaker 3>And I know you've been speaking every day for an hour,

0:49:43.960 --> 0:49:46.160
<v Speaker 3>but they are the moments where you are getting the

0:49:46.160 --> 0:49:48.960
<v Speaker 3>best of somebody, and so I don't want you to

0:49:48.960 --> 0:49:51.480
<v Speaker 3>get caught up. He might have everything you need on paper,

0:49:51.920 --> 0:49:53.560
<v Speaker 3>but you just won't know until he spend a bit

0:49:53.600 --> 0:49:54.359
<v Speaker 3>more time with him.

0:49:54.520 --> 0:49:57.640
<v Speaker 4>I have a very specific to you bit of advice,

0:49:57.880 --> 0:50:00.480
<v Speaker 4>and from what I'm gathering, it sound to me as

0:50:00.480 --> 0:50:02.920
<v Speaker 4>though you're not yet on the scheme program of Anaesthetics,

0:50:02.960 --> 0:50:04.879
<v Speaker 4>which is the program that you go on to. It's

0:50:04.960 --> 0:50:07.600
<v Speaker 4>usually about four to five years where you specialize and

0:50:07.680 --> 0:50:10.360
<v Speaker 4>then you become a n necestist. Right, I would actually

0:50:10.400 --> 0:50:13.280
<v Speaker 4>go right now to your supervisor of training or whoever

0:50:13.320 --> 0:50:15.960
<v Speaker 4>looks after that particular part of the hospital that you're

0:50:16.000 --> 0:50:18.600
<v Speaker 4>working at. I would have a conversation with them and

0:50:18.840 --> 0:50:21.040
<v Speaker 4>just float the idea of, like, do you have any

0:50:21.080 --> 0:50:23.799
<v Speaker 4>good relationships with anyone in Canada of the place that

0:50:23.880 --> 0:50:25.680
<v Speaker 4>you actually do want to move to to be with

0:50:25.760 --> 0:50:28.880
<v Speaker 4>this person, and just suss out what their medical programs

0:50:28.880 --> 0:50:32.000
<v Speaker 4>are like, because yes, it will mean that you basically

0:50:32.040 --> 0:50:34.120
<v Speaker 4>will have to take a one to maybe two year

0:50:34.200 --> 0:50:36.839
<v Speaker 4>step back because you're going to have to sit these

0:50:36.840 --> 0:50:40.799
<v Speaker 4>exams rebuild those relationships in another country. But Canada has

0:50:40.880 --> 0:50:44.080
<v Speaker 4>fantastic medicine. It's not like it would be a detrimental

0:50:44.160 --> 0:50:48.479
<v Speaker 4>move for your career long term to be training over there,

0:50:48.600 --> 0:50:50.719
<v Speaker 4>and you could get onto a program over there, and

0:50:50.760 --> 0:50:52.839
<v Speaker 4>you could be as happy as Larry. I know people

0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:55.600
<v Speaker 4>who have gone over and done fellowships over in Canada.

0:50:55.680 --> 0:50:58.919
<v Speaker 4>The medicine is fantastic, and you know, maybe that could

0:50:58.960 --> 0:51:01.799
<v Speaker 4>be something that you could actually look into. I think

0:51:01.800 --> 0:51:03.440
<v Speaker 4>it would be better for you to make that decision

0:51:03.440 --> 0:51:05.719
<v Speaker 4>now before you're on the program before you're locked in

0:51:06.040 --> 0:51:07.520
<v Speaker 4>to four years here in Australia.

0:51:07.600 --> 0:51:09.279
<v Speaker 1>The only thing is Kesh with that is it's the

0:51:09.280 --> 0:51:11.640
<v Speaker 1>same thing brit said. You're then locked into a program there.

0:51:11.760 --> 0:51:14.160
<v Speaker 1>The relationship doesn't work out, you're stuck there with no family,

0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:16.799
<v Speaker 1>no friends and support, no boyfriend, no nothing, and you're

0:51:16.840 --> 0:51:18.000
<v Speaker 1>the one who made the sacrifice.

0:51:18.040 --> 0:51:20.480
<v Speaker 4>I think you would have to make that move knowing

0:51:20.600 --> 0:51:23.759
<v Speaker 4>that you wouldn't be resentful if you did end up

0:51:23.800 --> 0:51:25.279
<v Speaker 4>on a program there and things didn't.

0:51:26.160 --> 0:51:28.359
<v Speaker 3>It's hard, but I just don't think she should move.

0:51:28.400 --> 0:51:30.480
<v Speaker 3>I just I just don't think she should even like

0:51:30.520 --> 0:51:32.120
<v Speaker 3>I know you just said, Keysh. You know it might

0:51:32.160 --> 0:51:33.799
<v Speaker 3>be a step back of a couple of years. That's

0:51:33.840 --> 0:51:35.960
<v Speaker 3>fucking huge as a woman. And I say as a

0:51:36.000 --> 0:51:38.759
<v Speaker 3>woman because two years as a woman step back is

0:51:38.840 --> 0:51:40.640
<v Speaker 3>huge if you have a biological clock and you want

0:51:40.680 --> 0:51:43.040
<v Speaker 3>to have kids, and like another two years onto like

0:51:43.080 --> 0:51:45.960
<v Speaker 3>eight to twelve years of training is so big. I

0:51:46.040 --> 0:51:48.719
<v Speaker 3>just would be thinking very carefully before I made any move,

0:51:48.800 --> 0:51:50.479
<v Speaker 3>and I would be seeing if he can come here

0:51:51.120 --> 0:51:54.200
<v Speaker 3>for a holiday first. Let him come here and spend

0:51:54.239 --> 0:51:56.440
<v Speaker 3>some time together and make your decision. Unless you have

0:51:56.480 --> 0:51:59.040
<v Speaker 3>holidays coming up one of you needs to commit to

0:51:59.040 --> 0:52:01.400
<v Speaker 3>spending some time together. But it's fucking hard. Man. I

0:52:01.400 --> 0:52:03.279
<v Speaker 3>feel Sophie falling in love with someone on the other

0:52:03.280 --> 0:52:06.080
<v Speaker 3>side of the world. Don't recommend. I know I've got

0:52:06.080 --> 0:52:08.040
<v Speaker 3>a husband on there, best thing to happen to me,

0:52:08.120 --> 0:52:11.040
<v Speaker 3>but it's not been easy. Like it has not been easy.

0:52:11.239 --> 0:52:12.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, guys, that is it from USK.

0:52:12.440 --> 0:52:14.360
<v Speaker 1>If you have a question for asking cut, slide on

0:52:14.480 --> 0:52:17.200
<v Speaker 1>into the DMS at Life on Cut podcast. You can

0:52:17.239 --> 0:52:19.839
<v Speaker 1>also join at the Facebook group the discussion group which

0:52:19.880 --> 0:52:21.080
<v Speaker 1>is Life on Cut Discussion Group.

0:52:21.400 --> 0:52:23.160
<v Speaker 2>Super creative name for that one.

0:52:23.480 --> 0:52:26.960
<v Speaker 1>Or you can watch us on a discussion group Life

0:52:27.000 --> 0:52:28.080
<v Speaker 1>on Cut Discussion Group.

0:52:28.120 --> 0:52:29.799
<v Speaker 2>It's actually the best. I live there.

0:52:29.880 --> 0:52:31.680
<v Speaker 3>My post code is the Facebook.

0:52:32.640 --> 0:52:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Go and join and can watch it all on YouTube.

0:52:35.280 --> 0:52:38.279
<v Speaker 3>And you know the drill, mum te dad tea, dog tea.

0:52:38.280 --> 0:52:40.920
<v Speaker 3>Friends and share the love because we love