WEBVTT - The Lazy Manipulator...Weaponised Incompetence

0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:22.759
<v Speaker 1>Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:24.960
<v Speaker 1>I am Brittany and I'm.

0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:26.799
<v Speaker 2>Laura, And you know what, I think this is going

0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:29.480
<v Speaker 2>to be the last time that we're going to describe

0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.440
<v Speaker 2>to you the apartment that we're coming from, because I'm

0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:35.760
<v Speaker 2>finally recording it out of BRIT's new apartment, which.

0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:37.560
<v Speaker 1>Is your old is my old apartment.

0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:39.159
<v Speaker 2>And let me tell you, this apartment looks a hell

0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.040
<v Speaker 2>of a lot better when it doesn't have two screaming

0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:43.440
<v Speaker 2>kids and a massive fucking dog in.

0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.479
<v Speaker 3>A so funny Matt came over the other day to

0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:47.440
<v Speaker 3>drop something off or pick something up I can't remember,

0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:48.120
<v Speaker 3>and he walked in.

0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:51.559
<v Speaker 1>He's like, holy shit's so nice. It's like this is

0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:54.840
<v Speaker 1>He's like, this is so much nicer than we licha.

0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:56.240
<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to tell Laura.

0:00:56.560 --> 0:00:58.720
<v Speaker 2>Also, okay, wait, I do have one question. Why is

0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:00.000
<v Speaker 2>your lamp duct taped together?

0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:00.480
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:01.880
<v Speaker 1>They're a movie list in it and I haven't had

0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:05.600
<v Speaker 1>time to take it off. It's a really tall lamp

0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:07.520
<v Speaker 1>that I guess it's not like a swivel. It could

0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:07.919
<v Speaker 1>have broken.

0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:10.440
<v Speaker 3>So they wrapped all these duct tape around it and

0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:11.200
<v Speaker 3>then they just left.

0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:12.600
<v Speaker 1>You know when you move into a new.

0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:16.480
<v Speaker 3>House, you leave boxes unpacked for like years, like plural, yes,

0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:17.399
<v Speaker 3>that duct tape.

0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:18.800
<v Speaker 1>God knows how long that's going to be there for.

0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:20.959
<v Speaker 2>So we moved into a new house so that Laura

0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.360
<v Speaker 2>could have her own room, and she's still sleeping in

0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:25.959
<v Speaker 2>a portercot in that room amongst boxes, Like, you just

0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:28.280
<v Speaker 2>haven't said it better. Well, actually, no, that's a whole

0:01:28.319 --> 0:01:30.840
<v Speaker 2>other conversation. Matt lost the screws. Do you know what?

0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:33.520
<v Speaker 2>Matt is the friggin' best dad ever and he is

0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:37.119
<v Speaker 2>such a hands on, amazing, amazing man. But that kind

0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:38.760
<v Speaker 2>of leads me a little bit into what we're talking

0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:41.400
<v Speaker 2>about today on today's episode, and we are talking about

0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:43.440
<v Speaker 2>something that is trending on TikTok.

0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:44.959
<v Speaker 1>It seems to be where we get a lot of her.

0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:48.200
<v Speaker 1>I've said that a lot lately, This bad boy is

0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:49.120
<v Speaker 1>trending on the Talk.

0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:51.200
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it's because everything's trending on TikTok.

0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:52.880
<v Speaker 1>That's because TikTok.

0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.400
<v Speaker 3>Now has become a place where people even rehash like

0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:58.200
<v Speaker 3>news articles. TikTok is where people get their news, they

0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:00.200
<v Speaker 3>get their entertainment, they get everything from tiki doc.

0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:01.120
<v Speaker 1>It's insane you.

0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:02.840
<v Speaker 2>Say that, like you're shocked, like we've been doing it

0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:05.000
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram fight the past five years and now you're

0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:06.520
<v Speaker 2>like it is insane.

0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:07.880
<v Speaker 1>Well, it is because it's like a.

0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:09.880
<v Speaker 3>One stop shop now that I'm not on, so I

0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:11.760
<v Speaker 3>have to like go on search. I don't TikTok.

0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:12.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't use it.

0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:14.600
<v Speaker 3>I might have to start, but I don't even scroll it.

0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.840
<v Speaker 3>I see that things are trending on TikTok because I

0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.600
<v Speaker 3>reading news articles that they're trending in TikTok.

0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:21.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm on there, but I'm like, you're lurking in the back.

0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:23.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm a private looker, like I never post. I've hosted

0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:25.680
<v Speaker 2>one thing and then I was like, oh, I'm a

0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:27.519
<v Speaker 2>bit too. I feel like a boomer on this thing.

0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.280
<v Speaker 2>But Matt is very much on TikTok to the point

0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:31.920
<v Speaker 2>where like sometimes we're sitting on the couch and I'm

0:02:31.960 --> 0:02:33.400
<v Speaker 2>trying to have a conversation with him and I'm like,

0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:35.560
<v Speaker 2>what are you doing. Oh, you're looking at thirty second

0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.320
<v Speaker 2>reels of people knowing their fucking lawn. Great, Okay, that's

0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:39.280
<v Speaker 2>why I don't want to watch it.

0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:41.440
<v Speaker 1>This is the whole point you get. It's like Instagram

0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:44.160
<v Speaker 1>on steroids. You can completely sucked in.

0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:47.480
<v Speaker 2>It's so snackable the content that it's very hard to

0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:49.480
<v Speaker 2>get away from. But okay, I, like they said, I

0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:50.880
<v Speaker 2>was going to tell you what the episode was about.

0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:56.040
<v Speaker 2>That was five minutes ago. We're talking about weaponized Incompetence

0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:58.840
<v Speaker 2>on today's episode. It's something that maybe some of you

0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:01.520
<v Speaker 2>have heard about, heard the term, but for those of

0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:03.680
<v Speaker 2>you who haven't, once we get into describing what it

0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:05.640
<v Speaker 2>actually is and how it can present itself in so

0:03:05.639 --> 0:03:08.359
<v Speaker 2>many different types of relationships, I feel like we're all

0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:10.399
<v Speaker 2>going to get something out of this episode.

0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:13.440
<v Speaker 3>This is definitely one Laura is very passionate about. It's

0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:15.440
<v Speaker 3>definitely one Laura brought to the table and I just

0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.440
<v Speaker 3>jumped on board with yes, I'm so glad you said that.

0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I've been like pushed.

0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, let's do weaponized in Competence everyone. And Britt

0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:24.440
<v Speaker 2>was like, it doesn't really relate to me, and I

0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:25.760
<v Speaker 2>was like, let's make it relate.

0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:27.560
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna be great. Because we often do this.

0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:29.640
<v Speaker 3>We often bring ideas to the table of things that

0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.839
<v Speaker 3>if we've been inspired by something, or we've been through something,

0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:33.880
<v Speaker 3>or we've seen something, and we always just try and

0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:35.840
<v Speaker 3>jump on board. And this was definitely one of Laura's,

0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.760
<v Speaker 3>and I was like, look, I'll do my research and

0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:39.320
<v Speaker 3>I will do my best to come on.

0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:42.240
<v Speaker 1>This journey with you. So this is my episode, but

0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:43.400
<v Speaker 1>looks do it.

0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:45.960
<v Speaker 2>One of the things that I find very interesting about

0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:48.360
<v Speaker 2>the conversation around a weaponized in competence and like, it's

0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:50.680
<v Speaker 2>difficult because we obviously haven't told you what it is yet,

0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.160
<v Speaker 2>and we will get into the whole unpacking it very

0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:56.120
<v Speaker 2>very shortly. But because it does present itself in so

0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.720
<v Speaker 2>many different relationships, and because we do and we are

0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.280
<v Speaker 2>all guilty of it in different ways, I think that

0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.200
<v Speaker 2>it is very relatable. But I know that this episode

0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.600
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of my mum friends, this is something

0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:09.000
<v Speaker 2>that they have experienced or that they have seen their

0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:11.000
<v Speaker 2>friends experience. So that's kind of why I wanted to

0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:13.160
<v Speaker 2>get into it, and we will unpack that. But before

0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:17.440
<v Speaker 2>we do, guys, yesterday was Valentine's Day. Actually for us

0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:21.200
<v Speaker 2>it's today because we're recording this very early on Monday morning, at.

0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.880
<v Speaker 3>Six am Monday morning, when it's nothing like the early

0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:24.880
<v Speaker 3>Bird gets the love?

0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:25.600
<v Speaker 1>Is that a thing?

0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:28.640
<v Speaker 2>I brought you a coffee? Happy Valentine's Day, britt.

0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:30.640
<v Speaker 3>Laura walked in with a croissant and coffee at six

0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.960
<v Speaker 3>am today, So you're currently the love of my life.

0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.000
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Thank you for bringing me exactly what I

0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:35.920
<v Speaker 3>need to get the day started.

0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:37.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm just gonna say the bar is very low if

0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:38.840
<v Speaker 2>that makes me the love your life.

0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.120
<v Speaker 3>Valentine's Day is something Laura and I spoke about it.

0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:42.560
<v Speaker 3>We spoke about it last week on the radio. It's

0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:44.480
<v Speaker 3>not something we really care for. It's not something we've

0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:46.360
<v Speaker 3>really ever done. Like, sure, if you want to get

0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:47.719
<v Speaker 3>me a present and pat me and tell me you

0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:49.760
<v Speaker 3>love me, like, I am here for it. I am

0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:50.760
<v Speaker 3>never going to kick you out.

0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:52.880
<v Speaker 2>You can lay on my lap and I'll just stroke you. Okay,

0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:54.200
<v Speaker 2>so you have human touch.

0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.120
<v Speaker 1>It sounded wrong on so many levels.

0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.840
<v Speaker 3>But also I just want to share with you.

0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:03.840
<v Speaker 2>I just came out of Britney's bathroom. There's a huge

0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:06.320
<v Speaker 2>thing of condoms in there, and Britt was like, they're expired.

0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:07.880
<v Speaker 1>She's like, I should have wrote about the move.

0:05:08.160 --> 0:05:10.160
<v Speaker 3>I was like, God knows how long they've been there

0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.039
<v Speaker 3>for Now when you pack your house up and you're like.

0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:13.239
<v Speaker 1>Where did they even come from?

0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:15.360
<v Speaker 2>There's just a box in the bathroom that hasn't been

0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:17.120
<v Speaker 2>unpacked and just perch on Toppy's condoms.

0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:18.360
<v Speaker 3>She's like, yeah, I need to throw them out. I

0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:20.200
<v Speaker 3>don't even see I've got two bathroom guards. I don't

0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:21.600
<v Speaker 3>even know what's in that bathroom. You know how you've

0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:23.240
<v Speaker 3>got a bathroom, you go into it, you put all

0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:24.359
<v Speaker 3>your shit in one, and you're like, I'm just going

0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:25.960
<v Speaker 3>to pretend that bathroom doesn't exist.

0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:27.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, trust me, after I've been in there this morning,

0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:29.279
<v Speaker 2>you probably should keep it pretending.

0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:29.880
<v Speaker 1>Yikes.

0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:32.839
<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, I mean, like I said, all jokes aside,

0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:36.320
<v Speaker 3>Valentine's Day for me, I would rather it's more important

0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:38.880
<v Speaker 3>to me, and it's more meaningful to me if my

0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:41.880
<v Speaker 3>partner did something any other day of the year than

0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:44.440
<v Speaker 3>Valentine's Day. And I still would love that on Valentine's

0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:45.480
<v Speaker 3>Day because I think it's sweet.

0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:46.800
<v Speaker 1>But it's very commercial to me.

0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:50.159
<v Speaker 3>But I love the idea that I guess some people,

0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:53.159
<v Speaker 3>in some couples what Valentine's Day does is some people,

0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:56.679
<v Speaker 3>some couples of relationships, even friends, people get so busy

0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.320
<v Speaker 3>in their life that they do forget to do the

0:05:58.320 --> 0:06:00.760
<v Speaker 3>little things. So I guess Valentine's Day they're a minder

0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:02.760
<v Speaker 3>for people to say, Okay, I really just need to

0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.359
<v Speaker 3>put everything aside for a hot second and focus on

0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:07.440
<v Speaker 3>my partner. So I think it's nice that it is

0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:09.880
<v Speaker 3>a day where we're like, hey, check yourself, make sure

0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:11.880
<v Speaker 3>you go and tell someone they mean something to you.

0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:14.680
<v Speaker 3>I like that, But for me, it means more to

0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:16.760
<v Speaker 3>come out of the blue, not on a birthday, not

0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:19.599
<v Speaker 3>on Christmas, not on Valentine's Day, just a message, just

0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.520
<v Speaker 3>maybe some flowers, just something to say, hey, like thinking

0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:23.080
<v Speaker 3>of you, love you.

0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:26.200
<v Speaker 1>So for me, I would much rather that.

0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.280
<v Speaker 3>But I do you know, we do love love here

0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:30.560
<v Speaker 3>at life on cut So any day to celebrate love

0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:31.200
<v Speaker 3>is a good day.

0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:33.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean, like it's completely overrated, but I still want.

0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:35.320
<v Speaker 1>Flowers, the money to make college of him.

0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I still want something, or at least Actually I

0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:40.520
<v Speaker 2>left the house today and like, like we said, we're

0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:42.520
<v Speaker 2>recording this super early. That was still in bed. I

0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:45.080
<v Speaker 2>snuck out of the house and he was like, oh,

0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:47.359
<v Speaker 2>at least give me a kiss before you leave. You know,

0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:49.040
<v Speaker 2>when you think your partner still asleep so you don't

0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:50.560
<v Speaker 2>want to wake them. H No one ever gave him

0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.279
<v Speaker 2>a kiss forgot to say Happy Valentine's Day.

0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:54.880
<v Speaker 1>Just forget. It's like it doesn't matter. Though.

0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.160
<v Speaker 3>I don't think you have to say Happy Valentine's Day,

0:06:57.960 --> 0:06:59.159
<v Speaker 3>Like I think that that's okay.

0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:02.200
<v Speaker 2>Are you still yeah, leaving my Valentine.

0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:04.360
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna be okay, You're gonna get through this, okay.

0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:07.120
<v Speaker 2>The thing though, that's really interesting about Valentine's Day, and

0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:09.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure that there are many other reasons. I'm sure

0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:10.880
<v Speaker 2>somebody's going to slide into the DMS and be like,

0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:13.560
<v Speaker 2>that's not it. There is a whole other story to it.

0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:16.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure there is. But from a commercial perspective, the

0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:18.680
<v Speaker 2>reason why Valentine's Day has become so big when it

0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:22.760
<v Speaker 2>comes to gift giving around jewelry or flowers or like

0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:24.600
<v Speaker 2>all of the little things that you would buy, like

0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:28.840
<v Speaker 2>retail wise that are very giftable items, it's because this

0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:32.640
<v Speaker 2>time of year, so after January, February March April, these

0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:35.200
<v Speaker 2>three months are like your lowest months when it comes

0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.080
<v Speaker 2>to running a retail business. Guys. I know because I

0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.480
<v Speaker 2>sell a jewelry And it's kind of a weird thing

0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.600
<v Speaker 2>to say this because obviously, like from a commercial perspective,

0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Valentine's Day for us is great, but the reasoning behind

0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:49.560
<v Speaker 2>it is kind of a little bit more sinister. So

0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:52.440
<v Speaker 2>obviously you have like a dip in sales when it

0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:55.320
<v Speaker 2>comes to February, March April, after the back end of Christmas,

0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:57.320
<v Speaker 2>and to help drive some sales.

0:07:57.480 --> 0:07:58.280
<v Speaker 1>That's why all.

0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:00.640
<v Speaker 2>Businesses do their Valentine's Day sales. That's why there's big

0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:05.160
<v Speaker 2>Valentine's Day campaigns. So the actual day itself grew in success,

0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:07.960
<v Speaker 2>and it grew in importance because of retail. So it

0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.640
<v Speaker 2>truly is a commercial day because it was a day

0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:14.880
<v Speaker 2>for small businesses, for big businesses, for commercial conglomerates to say.

0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:16.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you need to spend some money.

0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.160
<v Speaker 3>Oh you really know how to take the magic out

0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:21.160
<v Speaker 3>of Valentine's dayDay, Laura.

0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:23.040
<v Speaker 2>And I'm saying this from like someone who owns a

0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.880
<v Speaker 2>jury business, Like obviously I benefit from it in some ways,

0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:29.000
<v Speaker 2>but we always angle our Valentine's Day sale around buying

0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.040
<v Speaker 2>something nice for yourself. I don't care about like, don't

0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:32.480
<v Speaker 2>you don't have to go buy something for your partner,

0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:34.120
<v Speaker 2>your friends. But I'm always like, if you want to

0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:36.680
<v Speaker 2>use a fifteen percent of discount and spend it on yourself,

0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:38.920
<v Speaker 2>go and you treat yourself because that's some sort of

0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:40.120
<v Speaker 2>self love I can get behind.

0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:43.800
<v Speaker 3>Look, we do have something a little bit left field today,

0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:45.800
<v Speaker 3>something we haven't done and we will not be doing

0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:47.280
<v Speaker 3>again in the future, in.

0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:49.720
<v Speaker 2>The spirit of Valentine's Day. This is a one time

0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.080
<v Speaker 2>only show. Guys, it's coming right up.

0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:55.840
<v Speaker 3>We had and we thought this was really really cute because,

0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.760
<v Speaker 3>as we said, we do love love. We had a

0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:02.320
<v Speaker 3>man called Dylan rin into the podcast. Now, Dylan has

0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:06.640
<v Speaker 3>listened to the podcast before. Because Dylan's girlfriend is a huge,

0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:09.080
<v Speaker 3>huge fan of Life Uncut. She has been for a

0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:11.120
<v Speaker 3>long time. She listens all the time. He listens in

0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:12.240
<v Speaker 3>the background.

0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:12.839
<v Speaker 1>Shout out to you, Lily.

0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:16.760
<v Speaker 3>We do love when men writing, when men have listened

0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:18.040
<v Speaker 3>to the pod, but when they do go to the

0:09:18.040 --> 0:09:20.080
<v Speaker 3>effort to write to us and say that they've loved

0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:22.520
<v Speaker 3>an episode or that they got onto the podcast because

0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:24.600
<v Speaker 3>of their partner. And that is what has happened with Lily.

0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:27.719
<v Speaker 3>But more so, the reason that we are highlighting this

0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:31.880
<v Speaker 3>little Dylan and Lily love story is that Dylan is

0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:34.160
<v Speaker 3>a musician. Dylan is head over. He was in love

0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.120
<v Speaker 3>with Lily, and Dylan wanted to do something very very special,

0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:38.400
<v Speaker 3>So he has got Billy.

0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:41.840
<v Speaker 1>Didn't Billy Way. We can call him Dilly Team Dilley, Lily.

0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.880
<v Speaker 2>Dilly didn't want to spend money on a fifteen per

0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:46.440
<v Speaker 2>cent of sale, so he did something a little bit

0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:47.040
<v Speaker 2>more heartfelt.

0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:50.760
<v Speaker 3>Dylan knows as a scam. We need more Dylan's in

0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.679
<v Speaker 3>the world. Okay, Dylan wrote into us Anyway, he has

0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:56.240
<v Speaker 3>been spending the last year working on something and this

0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:59.199
<v Speaker 3>is why we wanted to highlight it. Dylan said, Hey, ladies,

0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.760
<v Speaker 3>love the podcast. I started writing a song at the

0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:05.880
<v Speaker 3>end of twenty twenty for my partner Lily. I've spent

0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:07.920
<v Speaker 3>a year trying to keep it a secret from her

0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.600
<v Speaker 3>until it was finished, which was quite the task living

0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.439
<v Speaker 3>together through Melbourne lockdowns. I'm my gosh, you poor things

0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:16.160
<v Speaker 3>to me. The song is about letting go of any

0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:19.240
<v Speaker 3>walls you hold to protect yourself and fully letting yourself

0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:21.160
<v Speaker 3>feel the meaning of the words.

0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:21.360
<v Speaker 1>I love you.

0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:23.920
<v Speaker 3>I think it'd be the best surprise for her to

0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.960
<v Speaker 3>hear this song for the first time without knowing on

0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:28.520
<v Speaker 3>her favorite podcast.

0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:31.560
<v Speaker 2>We love it. Happy Valentine's Day, Lilian Dylan. We're gonna

0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:34.840
<v Speaker 2>play a tiny snippet. Also, like Britz said, do not

0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:36.920
<v Speaker 2>come for us with any more request. Guys, this is

0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:38.839
<v Speaker 2>not an open forum, but here, it is not late night.

0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:48.920
<v Speaker 4>There's nothing I can done.

0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.800
<v Speaker 3>Dylan, Lily, Dilly whatever, we're gonna call you hashtag Dilly.

0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:11.160
<v Speaker 3>That was just the sweetest thing. And that was only

0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:12.959
<v Speaker 3>a snippet, guys, that was thirty seconds. We're going to

0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:14.360
<v Speaker 3>play the whole song at the end if you want

0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.480
<v Speaker 3>to listen. And it is such a beautiful song. And

0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:18.680
<v Speaker 3>for sure Dylan is getting lucky tonight.

0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:23.440
<v Speaker 2>Have you ever had somebody write you a song?

0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:27.320
<v Speaker 3>Oh, but it's similar. No one's written me a song

0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.200
<v Speaker 3>that I know of. Maybe there are some songs floating

0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.000
<v Speaker 3>out there that I haven't received yet. But I received

0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:35.880
<v Speaker 3>when I had this like big crush on my neighbor

0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:39.440
<v Speaker 3>when I was like fourteen fifteen. He was from the Mark,

0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:41.400
<v Speaker 3>he was a few Yeah, that's the last time I

0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:43.640
<v Speaker 3>had something really romantic. He was a few years older

0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:45.360
<v Speaker 3>than me and he had a crush on me too,

0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:46.880
<v Speaker 3>But you know when you're that young, because like, we

0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:49.200
<v Speaker 3>had big crushes on each other, but nothing was ever

0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:50.840
<v Speaker 3>gonna happen. He was a friend of my brothers, I think.

0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:52.080
<v Speaker 1>Anyway. We used to go.

0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.400
<v Speaker 3>Surfing together and hang out, but I was such a tomboy,

0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:56.280
<v Speaker 3>so I didn't really know that he had the crush

0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:56.480
<v Speaker 3>on me.

0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:57.600
<v Speaker 1>I just thought I was one of the boys.

0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:01.400
<v Speaker 3>And then one day, and I'm pretty sure was Valentine's Day,

0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:05.040
<v Speaker 3>he dropped me like an envelope. He didn't want to

0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.080
<v Speaker 3>wait around while I opened it, because like, I made

0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 3>this for you, and then he ran and I opened it,

0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.360
<v Speaker 3>and this is going to really show my age, guys,

0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:12.560
<v Speaker 3>But it was a mixed tape.

0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.720
<v Speaker 1>He made me a mixtape and the first song and

0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:18.600
<v Speaker 1>I will never forget it.

0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:20.920
<v Speaker 3>I went on to learn every word of the song

0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.040
<v Speaker 3>and I still know every word of the song. The

0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:26.920
<v Speaker 3>first song was could You Be the Most Beautiful Girl

0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:27.920
<v Speaker 3>in the World from France?

0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:32.760
<v Speaker 1>And I played that mixtape. I put that on repeat.

0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:34.880
<v Speaker 3>That was my pride and joy, and actually, to this day,

0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:36.839
<v Speaker 3>when I think about it, it was probably the sweetest thing

0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.320
<v Speaker 3>anyone's actually done. He went to so much effort to

0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:41.439
<v Speaker 3>make that mixtape because you've got to like remember, back

0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.160
<v Speaker 3>in the day, you had to press record at the

0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:45.000
<v Speaker 3>same time as you'd heard it on something else that

0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:45.679
<v Speaker 3>you had to like.

0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:47.600
<v Speaker 1>On the radio, so he had to sit.

0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:49.400
<v Speaker 3>There was so much effort when you think about it,

0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.160
<v Speaker 3>he had to sit and listen to a radio until

0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.240
<v Speaker 3>any love song came on. Then he had to press

0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:55.720
<v Speaker 3>record at the same time and make it smooth for

0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:56.440
<v Speaker 3>a whole tape.

0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:58.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, but you think this is showing your age? Do

0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:00.679
<v Speaker 2>you know what you know when you're on Bachelotte? So

0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:02.280
<v Speaker 2>if you, guys, if you don't really.

0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:04.760
<v Speaker 3>Know when you're on the Bachelotte, everyone listening, you've done

0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:05.520
<v Speaker 3>it before, Britt.

0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 2>No, But if you if you're not somebody who watches

0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:09.640
<v Speaker 2>The Bachelor, you haven't seen the sort of first episode

0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:11.440
<v Speaker 2>where they walk down the red carp and they meet

0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:15.760
<v Speaker 2>the bachelor or the bachelorette. Often the contestants bring a gift.

0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:18.320
<v Speaker 2>They often like because we have to. Yeah, the producers

0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.760
<v Speaker 2>tell you you have to bring a gift, Britt, Matt

0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:22.640
<v Speaker 2>gave Georgia Love a mixtape.

0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:27.079
<v Speaker 1>But that can't be nation. That's gonna be a cute thing,

0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:27.720
<v Speaker 1>so cute.

0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:29.839
<v Speaker 2>He's never given me a mixtape, Daily Mail, you can

0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:30.800
<v Speaker 2>write an article about that.

0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:32.520
<v Speaker 3>I mean, like, I know you won at the end

0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:34.560
<v Speaker 3>and you're you've got a happy ending, but I'd be shattered.

0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:36.960
<v Speaker 3>I'd be shaded knowing he gave a mixtape because I

0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:42.200
<v Speaker 3>wonder if she still has it, I should play it. Lokay, Okay,

0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 3>I have a story for you speaking of Matt sex

0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.200
<v Speaker 3>girlfriends because we're on the top.

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.640
<v Speaker 1>I love that for us. So, okay, I've met a

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:52.520
<v Speaker 1>lot of Matt sex girlfriends. I went to do.

0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:54.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I went to one of their weddings, Like, there

0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.959
<v Speaker 2>is absolutely no I mean, god, we've got two kids. Like,

0:13:58.000 --> 0:13:59.959
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't come from a place where I care anymore.

0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.320
<v Speaker 3>No. It's also interesting though that he keeps the relationships

0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.480
<v Speaker 3>to that level. Yeah, that the friendship level that you'd

0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:10.200
<v Speaker 3>go to their wedding. Like for me, that's a bit like, really, no,

0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.000
<v Speaker 3>I do what I think. I found it quite difficult

0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.000
<v Speaker 3>at the start. And I've spoken about this when we

0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:17.560
<v Speaker 3>did an episode on retroactive jealousy quite a while ago.

0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:21.160
<v Speaker 3>Sure did, And retroactive jealousy is when you're jealous of

0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:22.640
<v Speaker 3>your partner's exes.

0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 2>And I think I came into our relationship with a

0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:30.320
<v Speaker 2>very unique experience, obviously coming out of the Bachelor. What

0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:32.440
<v Speaker 2>happened to us is that the Daily Mail and a

0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:35.520
<v Speaker 2>couple of other news outlets had run all these articles

0:14:35.520 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 2>about Matt's ex girlfriends. So not only did I know

0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:39.920
<v Speaker 2>that they were his ex girlfriends, I could go and

0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.160
<v Speaker 2>stalk them. But on top of that, it was like

0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:44.840
<v Speaker 2>it just was a real comparison that was drawn. So

0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.480
<v Speaker 2>normally you wouldn't have a news article being like, look

0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:50.680
<v Speaker 2>at how beautiful all his exes are and then having

0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:53.720
<v Speaker 2>public opinion being like, wow, they're better looking than Laura. Yes,

0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.880
<v Speaker 2>weirdly so it made me feel super self conscious.

0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:58.600
<v Speaker 1>Yet fancy that totally right.

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.320
<v Speaker 3>But anyway, I'm so I'm like, I'm over it now, guys,

0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:02.320
<v Speaker 3>but no, I really am.

0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:03.800
<v Speaker 1>However, I can.

0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:08.480
<v Speaker 2>Totally appreciate that all of Matt's sex girlfriends are ridiculously stunning,

0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:09.280
<v Speaker 2>like ridiculously.

0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.720
<v Speaker 1>I have seen a lot of them. They're pretty attractive,

0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:14.000
<v Speaker 1>their bomb it so are you so okay?

0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:16.720
<v Speaker 2>But on top of that, one of them is actually

0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:20.119
<v Speaker 2>like a supermodel, like a legitimate supermodel lives overseas.

0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:21.040
<v Speaker 1>Is a supermodel?

0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:24.360
<v Speaker 3>You have to live overseas. You cannot be a supermodel

0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:25.000
<v Speaker 3>in Australia.

0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:27.760
<v Speaker 2>No, she's just like she's divine, Like looks like she

0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:30.360
<v Speaker 2>walked out of the sun. She's so divine, which is

0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:34.120
<v Speaker 2>funny because so I buy and have bought the same

0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.800
<v Speaker 2>skincare for a very long time. Sunscreen Skincare bought it

0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.360
<v Speaker 2>for many, many years. And I walked into the chemist

0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 2>the other day to go buy my skincare and there

0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.480
<v Speaker 2>she is on the front of the packet of my

0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:48.720
<v Speaker 2>new skincare, and I was like, Fuck.

0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:49.840
<v Speaker 1>It's like her whole.

0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:51.080
<v Speaker 2>Face is the skincare product.

0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:51.640
<v Speaker 1>But now you.

0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:55.040
<v Speaker 3>Literally touch, squeeze, and look at her face on the

0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:56.960
<v Speaker 3>daily then proceed to rub her.

0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:57.880
<v Speaker 1>On your own skin.

0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:00.480
<v Speaker 2>Well, there's only a tiny picture of her on the

0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.040
<v Speaker 2>actual product, And I was like, I wonder if she

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.440
<v Speaker 2>actually uses this, because that's good if she does, because

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:07.160
<v Speaker 2>she's got great skin. But like, her whole face is

0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.200
<v Speaker 2>on the box. So I brought it home and then

0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.320
<v Speaker 2>I like felt like I had to take the skincare

0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.000
<v Speaker 2>out of the box so that Matt couldn't see the

0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:14.280
<v Speaker 2>box because then he would be.

0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:16.360
<v Speaker 1>Like, why did you buy that? Why are you so weird?

0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:17.880
<v Speaker 1>So has Matt seen?

0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.880
<v Speaker 3>Does Matt know that you are rubbing pictures of his

0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:22.000
<v Speaker 3>ex girlfriend on your face?

0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:22.320
<v Speaker 4>No?

0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:23.400
<v Speaker 1>I haven't told him.

0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:26.800
<v Speaker 2>I mean he does now, but okay, but can you

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:30.240
<v Speaker 2>imagine how weird this is? Like nobody listening to this

0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:33.280
<v Speaker 2>has ever been in an experience where their favorite skincare

0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:36.880
<v Speaker 2>brand has a photo of their boyfriend's ex girlfriend on it.

0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm still gonna buy it.

0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 3>I have been in a similar not to the same level,

0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:44.720
<v Speaker 3>but I remember there was a guy that I was

0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.920
<v Speaker 3>dating for a while and so dumb, a guy that

0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:49.920
<v Speaker 3>was saying for one and literally the same thing like

0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.360
<v Speaker 3>his Actually no, this was like reverse.

0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:55.560
<v Speaker 1>This was his new girlfriends. It was worse. He upgraded.

0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:57.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, no, no. See if we broke up.

0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:00.880
<v Speaker 2>And then Matt started dating a supermodel and her face

0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:03.320
<v Speaker 2>was on the skincare, I'd have to stop buying the skin.

0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:04.840
<v Speaker 1>She was on a billboard.

0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:07.399
<v Speaker 3>So like every day I drove us and saw the

0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:09.159
<v Speaker 3>new girl on a billboard because she was also like

0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:11.240
<v Speaker 3>a beautiful model that came out of the center of

0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:11.640
<v Speaker 3>the sun.

0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:13.879
<v Speaker 2>That's a real flex, isn't it when you date someone

0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:14.679
<v Speaker 2>who's on a billboard.

0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:15.080
<v Speaker 1>Totally.

0:17:16.080 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't even like a little bus sign. It was

0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.480
<v Speaker 3>a whole billboard. I was like, you'd on a bus stop, though,

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:21.160
<v Speaker 3>don't worry.

0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:22.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, unletss we forget.

0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.280
<v Speaker 3>I can't even break was on a bus stop because

0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.760
<v Speaker 3>she was the face of Tinder at one point.

0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:35.239
<v Speaker 1>Excuse me.

0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:38.080
<v Speaker 2>It was bumble wash it it was bumble Sorry, Bubble

0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 2>Bumble didn't sponsor this episode, so I'm not Tinder.

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:45.560
<v Speaker 1>That is now the Tinder Swindler. What a seguey that was.

0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 1>That was a good segue. Guys.

0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:51.479
<v Speaker 2>We have some very important research. You all need to

0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:55.560
<v Speaker 2>go and watch The Tinder Swindler because we may have

0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:57.239
<v Speaker 2>a very exciting episode coming up.

0:17:57.280 --> 0:18:00.159
<v Speaker 1>We may or may not well. I mean, if we

0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:01.960
<v Speaker 1>don't have one, it is because they canceled.

0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:05.399
<v Speaker 2>But we're hoping we're gonna have a great episode coming up.

0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:09.720
<v Speaker 2>But even if the episode doesn't happen, we cannot recommend

0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:13.080
<v Speaker 2>going and watching The Tinder Swindler enough. So I'm gonna

0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:15.480
<v Speaker 2>give it like a really top overview. I mean, it's

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.560
<v Speaker 2>a documentary. It is on Netflix. It goes for two hours,

0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:20.680
<v Speaker 2>so you could watch it in an evening. Go watch

0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 2>it tonight. Seriously, we really want you to watch it

0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:24.640
<v Speaker 2>before next Tuesday's episode.

0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 3>I mean, if you haven't already, it's literally sitting at

0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:29.400
<v Speaker 3>number one in the UK, it's training all over America.

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:33.800
<v Speaker 3>It is huge in Australia. It's an insane documentary. It's

0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.280
<v Speaker 3>an insane story, one that I like resonated with a

0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:38.800
<v Speaker 3>little bit too closely. It's actually from the filmmakers. I

0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:41.359
<v Speaker 3>don't know if anyone watched Don't Fuck with Cats. That

0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.720
<v Speaker 3>was also an incredible documentary on a completely different level,

0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:47.200
<v Speaker 3>but it's from the same makers. But long story short,

0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.120
<v Speaker 3>it follows the life of a man called Simon Levive

0:18:50.320 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 3>and he's an insane conment. It's like nothing you've ever seen.

0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:56.760
<v Speaker 3>And for the people that listen or have heard the

0:18:56.800 --> 0:19:00.200
<v Speaker 3>Tinder swindler story but haven't watched it, everyone's very skeptic cool.

0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:02.520
<v Speaker 3>Everyone's very against these women because these women to get

0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:03.919
<v Speaker 3>conned out of a lot of money, up to six

0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:08.359
<v Speaker 3>hundred thousand dollars. But three women that Simon conn over

0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:10.879
<v Speaker 3>the years have gotten together and they've told their story

0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:13.760
<v Speaker 3>very bravely come forward and told their story on this documentary.

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.160
<v Speaker 3>But he makes women fall in love with them on Tinder.

0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.000
<v Speaker 3>He pretends to be a billionaire on Tinder. They fall

0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:22.400
<v Speaker 3>in love with him. He winds and dines them, and

0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:25.760
<v Speaker 3>it's very believable to these women that he's a billionaire

0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:28.320
<v Speaker 3>because he straightway puts them on a private jet, he

0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:29.960
<v Speaker 3>flies them to an amazing location.

0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:33.359
<v Speaker 1>He buys them gifts. He's dripping and dressed in the

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:37.160
<v Speaker 1>most expensive, beautiful clothing and jewelry. And we won't go.

0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:40.959
<v Speaker 3>Into it yet until next week with exactly the mechanics

0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:43.480
<v Speaker 3>and how he does it. But it would just leave

0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:45.560
<v Speaker 3>you wanting to pick your draw up off the ground.

0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:48.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, I also don't want because, like it's a really

0:19:48.800 --> 0:19:51.640
<v Speaker 2>interesting storyline, and we obviously don't want to like spoil

0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:55.120
<v Speaker 2>the storyline. But it's a romantic con man basically. And

0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:57.440
<v Speaker 2>Britt told me about this, and she was like, you

0:19:57.520 --> 0:20:00.240
<v Speaker 2>have to watch this documentary. It's so interesting, and she

0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:03.280
<v Speaker 2>was explaining how these women had been literally swindled out

0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:06.320
<v Speaker 2>of hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars. And I

0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:09.159
<v Speaker 2>have to say this, at the time when you described

0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:10.600
<v Speaker 2>it to me, in my mind.

0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:12.840
<v Speaker 3>I was like, well, they must be idiots, like a

0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:14.159
<v Speaker 3>lot of the world is thinking right now.

0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I didn't know the story, and I hate

0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:19.240
<v Speaker 2>myself that that was my initial reaction. I thought, oh, gosh,

0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:21.600
<v Speaker 2>you know, you really have to be very gullible to

0:20:21.600 --> 0:20:23.520
<v Speaker 2>be carried along with this sort of story and to

0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:26.560
<v Speaker 2>be taken advantage of in this way. And then the

0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:28.760
<v Speaker 2>more that I watched the show and the more that

0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:31.960
<v Speaker 2>I got into how this all unfolded, I actually really

0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.240
<v Speaker 2>hated that that was my initial reaction, Like, I was

0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:37.399
<v Speaker 2>really disappointed in myself that I didn't give these women

0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:39.840
<v Speaker 2>the benefit of the doubt, because these women are incredibly

0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:43.960
<v Speaker 2>intelligent women. They are hugely empathetic women, and they just

0:20:44.040 --> 0:20:46.159
<v Speaker 2>want to be loved. They think that they're in a relationship,

0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:49.280
<v Speaker 2>and I really think that the most important take home

0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:51.479
<v Speaker 2>of this at the start is the fact that like

0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:54.440
<v Speaker 2>this truly can happen to anyone. We did an interview

0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:57.200
<v Speaker 2>last year with India Oxenburg, who is the survivor of

0:20:57.240 --> 0:20:59.760
<v Speaker 2>a sex cult called Nixim. It is still our most

0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:02.720
<v Speaker 2>listen to episode that we have ever done. If you

0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:04.680
<v Speaker 2>haven't heard it, go back and listen to it. It's

0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:08.640
<v Speaker 2>India Oxenburg. It's freakin' amazing. And I think I felt

0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:11.000
<v Speaker 2>the same thing when I very first started watching the show.

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:13.640
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I don't understand how this could happen

0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:15.920
<v Speaker 2>to anyone. I don't think I don't understand the type

0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:18.600
<v Speaker 2>of personality it takes to allow these things to happen

0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:21.280
<v Speaker 2>to them. But now we know India, we are very

0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:24.399
<v Speaker 2>friendly with her, and she is freaking amazing. She's a

0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:27.679
<v Speaker 2>very normal girl who just got trapped in something that

0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:30.680
<v Speaker 2>was incredibly sinister, and I think it's the exact same

0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:33.960
<v Speaker 2>case for these women. I guess I felt a level

0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:36.280
<v Speaker 2>of sympathy for them, and I never had that reaction

0:21:36.400 --> 0:21:38.840
<v Speaker 2>because I know to a level, you guys, most of

0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:41.600
<v Speaker 2>you know my past, that I was with someone and

0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:44.040
<v Speaker 2>manipulated for two years that had a double life that

0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:47.160
<v Speaker 2>wasn't pretty much wasn't who they said they were. I'm

0:21:47.200 --> 0:21:49.639
<v Speaker 2>a smart woman, but I know it can happen, and

0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:52.399
<v Speaker 2>I know that's not comparable. I know that what happened

0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:54.639
<v Speaker 2>to me is on such a smaller level. But I

0:21:54.640 --> 0:21:56.359
<v Speaker 2>also gave him money because I thought I was with

0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:58.199
<v Speaker 2>my partner that needed something at the time, and that

0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:00.320
<v Speaker 2>is just what you do when you're in love. I

0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:04.199
<v Speaker 2>can one hundred percent see how this happened, and I

0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:06.679
<v Speaker 2>know a lot of you will understand once you've watched it.

0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:08.600
<v Speaker 3>Now, there is a lot of kickback around the world. Actually,

0:22:08.600 --> 0:22:10.000
<v Speaker 3>there are still a lot of people that have watched

0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:12.960
<v Speaker 3>this and have no sympathy for these women. They're pretty

0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:15.959
<v Speaker 3>much just saying you're an idiot. But I think unless

0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:19.120
<v Speaker 3>you can really put yourself in that situation, you don't

0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:20.840
<v Speaker 3>understand how can happen. And there have been a lot

0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:22.440
<v Speaker 3>of statistics that have come out and said over the

0:22:22.480 --> 0:22:25.639
<v Speaker 3>last few years, this kind of romantic con is bigger

0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:28.720
<v Speaker 3>than ever because of the pandemic as well. Because people

0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:31.840
<v Speaker 3>are meeting online, they're forming emotional connections. They're not getting

0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:34.439
<v Speaker 3>to see as much of someone else's life that they

0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:37.240
<v Speaker 3>might have seen ten years ago in the real world,

0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:40.720
<v Speaker 3>before the lockdowns, before the restrictions, before travel. So I

0:22:40.720 --> 0:22:42.760
<v Speaker 3>think that we need to go into this well, I

0:22:42.800 --> 0:22:44.639
<v Speaker 3>mean I've watched it. Everyone needs to go into this

0:22:44.720 --> 0:22:47.080
<v Speaker 3>with I think, a really open mind and a level

0:22:47.080 --> 0:22:50.719
<v Speaker 3>of sympathy. These are very, very normal, intelligent women that

0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:54.320
<v Speaker 3>were swept up in something horrible. Their only crime is

0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:57.199
<v Speaker 3>being too generous and too loving to somebody that they

0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:00.560
<v Speaker 3>thought loved them back. So I cannot wait for next

0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:02.960
<v Speaker 3>week's episode. It's going I'm so excited for I'm so

0:23:02.960 --> 0:23:04.600
<v Speaker 3>excited to speak to these women and it's going to

0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:06.960
<v Speaker 3>be absolutely huge. So please, if you do anything this week,

0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:08.360
<v Speaker 3>watch the Tinder Swindler.

0:23:08.640 --> 0:23:10.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think the last thing that I want

0:23:10.160 --> 0:23:12.800
<v Speaker 2>to say on this is, like like anything, I think

0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:15.639
<v Speaker 2>if your initial reaction or anybody who's initial reaction is

0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:19.080
<v Speaker 2>like that couldn't happen to me, or they're idiots. That

0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:21.840
<v Speaker 2>is such a victim blaming mentality, like it comes from

0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:24.760
<v Speaker 2>such a negative and unconstructive place. And I think when

0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:27.000
<v Speaker 2>you watch this you will all have such empathy for

0:23:27.040 --> 0:23:30.919
<v Speaker 2>these women because it just shows how much one that

0:23:30.920 --> 0:23:33.720
<v Speaker 2>they wanted to be loved and be in a loving relationship,

0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:37.440
<v Speaker 2>but two also how fucking powerful things like love bombing are.

0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:41.119
<v Speaker 2>And when somebody is incredibly narcissistic and they have the

0:23:41.240 --> 0:23:44.800
<v Speaker 2>intent to mislead you, they have the intent to take control.

0:23:45.240 --> 0:23:47.560
<v Speaker 2>There was all of this conversation that comes back to

0:23:47.680 --> 0:23:50.800
<v Speaker 2>coercive control, which we've spoken about loads on this podcast.

0:23:51.280 --> 0:23:53.520
<v Speaker 2>It just shows how powerful this is, and it shows

0:23:53.560 --> 0:23:56.240
<v Speaker 2>how much anybody can be impacted by these things, and

0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:58.879
<v Speaker 2>how if you are in a relationship where it's moving

0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:02.520
<v Speaker 2>super quickly and bombing is happening, just being aware taking

0:24:02.600 --> 0:24:04.399
<v Speaker 2>a step out of it and going Okay, is this

0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:06.720
<v Speaker 2>too good to be true? Is this too much of

0:24:06.760 --> 0:24:09.560
<v Speaker 2>a fantasy? And what am I giving of myself that

0:24:09.640 --> 0:24:12.879
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't normally give just because I'm so invested in

0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:13.840
<v Speaker 2>this relationship?

0:24:14.040 --> 0:24:15.479
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And The thing is, I want to say one

0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:17.359
<v Speaker 1>more thing. I could talk about it forever.

0:24:17.760 --> 0:24:19.680
<v Speaker 3>The thing that I wanted to add with this is

0:24:19.880 --> 0:24:22.160
<v Speaker 3>a lot of people are saying, well, how stupid are

0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:26.120
<v Speaker 3>you for believing that you met a billionaire online? Firstly,

0:24:26.760 --> 0:24:30.679
<v Speaker 3>why wouldn't you believe it? When you've met someone and

0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:34.640
<v Speaker 3>immediately you're on private jets, immediately everything about their life

0:24:34.680 --> 0:24:37.600
<v Speaker 3>that you have seen screams, I'm telling the truth.

0:24:37.960 --> 0:24:39.679
<v Speaker 1>Screams, well, the screams like this is legit.

0:24:39.760 --> 0:24:41.919
<v Speaker 3>No one just goes and hires a private jet to

0:24:41.920 --> 0:24:43.359
<v Speaker 3>fly you on a first date if they don't have

0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:44.240
<v Speaker 3>that kind of money.

0:24:44.480 --> 0:24:46.600
<v Speaker 1>There was a girl I follow on Instagram, Tara. If

0:24:46.640 --> 0:24:48.520
<v Speaker 1>you're listening to Tara, Hey, she did it. She's got

0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:49.680
<v Speaker 1>a big Instagram following.

0:24:50.080 --> 0:24:51.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm not doing shout outs anymore, no, but she does

0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:54.159
<v Speaker 3>a big She has a big Instagram following, and she

0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:57.960
<v Speaker 3>puts something up recently, she had watched the Tindersunla and

0:24:57.960 --> 0:24:59.800
<v Speaker 3>she was putting some question and answers up and seeing

0:25:00.119 --> 0:25:02.280
<v Speaker 3>pole seeing what people thought and things like that. And

0:25:02.320 --> 0:25:05.719
<v Speaker 3>one of her polls was, do you think it's crazy

0:25:05.720 --> 0:25:07.960
<v Speaker 3>that they thought they meant a billionaire online?

0:25:08.800 --> 0:25:10.280
<v Speaker 1>And when you click the pole.

0:25:10.320 --> 0:25:12.679
<v Speaker 3>It was like something like ninety five percent of the

0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:15.159
<v Speaker 3>people said yes, it's crazy, like you're never going to

0:25:15.160 --> 0:25:17.560
<v Speaker 3>meet someone, and a few people said no, it's not

0:25:17.600 --> 0:25:21.080
<v Speaker 3>that crazy. Now I wrote back to her and I said, hey,

0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:24.439
<v Speaker 3>heads up, I know a billionaire online like this. I

0:25:24.480 --> 0:25:26.919
<v Speaker 3>actually this is a thing. People still do want to

0:25:26.920 --> 0:25:29.560
<v Speaker 3>try and meet normal people without them knowing. So for me,

0:25:30.000 --> 0:25:31.320
<v Speaker 3>this is why it's so believable.

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:33.919
<v Speaker 2>But also like, of course billionaires would still I mean

0:25:33.960 --> 0:25:35.920
<v Speaker 2>they can still use Tinder, Like why can't they still

0:25:35.920 --> 0:25:38.920
<v Speaker 2>have the interweb. There's some guys who might or even

0:25:38.960 --> 0:25:40.520
<v Speaker 2>women who have a whole of a lot of money,

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:41.800
<v Speaker 2>they still want to meet people.

0:25:42.119 --> 0:25:47.040
<v Speaker 3>I met one, I dated one, like it happened legend,

0:25:47.200 --> 0:25:49.000
<v Speaker 3>I dated a billionaire everybody.

0:25:49.160 --> 0:25:50.760
<v Speaker 1>But my point is I didn't know.

0:25:50.880 --> 0:25:51.240
<v Speaker 4>He didn't.

0:25:51.359 --> 0:25:53.720
<v Speaker 3>He was definitely not like that and he didn't let

0:25:53.760 --> 0:25:54.640
<v Speaker 3>anyone in his life.

0:25:54.720 --> 0:25:55.200
<v Speaker 1>No, he didn't.

0:25:55.240 --> 0:25:57.400
<v Speaker 3>I didn't know for a long time because it wasn't

0:25:57.440 --> 0:25:58.879
<v Speaker 3>a flex for him, that's not what it was. But

0:25:58.920 --> 0:26:00.119
<v Speaker 3>he was just someone with a lot of money that

0:26:00.200 --> 0:26:02.399
<v Speaker 3>still wanting to date. And she actually wrote back and

0:26:02.400 --> 0:26:04.720
<v Speaker 3>she said, I actually know a billionaire online as well.

0:26:04.880 --> 0:26:06.840
<v Speaker 3>So for anyone listening that thinks these women are just

0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:10.119
<v Speaker 3>so stupid, They're actually not like this happens. There are

0:26:10.200 --> 0:26:12.560
<v Speaker 3>people out there that are just trying to find love

0:26:12.600 --> 0:26:12.960
<v Speaker 3>as well.

0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:14.800
<v Speaker 1>Do you millionaires need love too? Guys?

0:26:14.800 --> 0:26:17.920
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I'm taking form this related this conversation? Guys,

0:26:17.960 --> 0:26:19.200
<v Speaker 2>there are billionaires online.

0:26:19.240 --> 0:26:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Go out.

0:26:20.480 --> 0:26:22.640
<v Speaker 2>If you're not on all those platforms where you are,

0:26:22.840 --> 0:26:25.360
<v Speaker 2>you're never gonna meet one. Go out there and find one.

0:26:25.359 --> 0:26:28.760
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's get into one of our most favorite

0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:31.040
<v Speaker 2>parts of the episode, even though to be honest, I

0:26:31.040 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 2>feel like the whole episodes are always our favorite.

0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:37.959
<v Speaker 1>Accidentally unfiltered. All right, Brittany, you can kick it off.

0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:40.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm actually gonna kick it off with one.

0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:42.280
<v Speaker 3>I've just decided I was tossing up between two and

0:26:42.320 --> 0:26:44.320
<v Speaker 3>then this conversation has made me pick one.

0:26:44.520 --> 0:26:47.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm so glad that I helped you to like define well,

0:26:47.240 --> 0:26:48.040
<v Speaker 2>it's about.

0:26:47.760 --> 0:26:50.399
<v Speaker 1>Flying and planes and stuff, So I'm gonna.

0:26:50.240 --> 0:26:51.680
<v Speaker 2>Mile high club now.

0:26:51.680 --> 0:26:53.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't even know if it's an accidentally unfiltered or

0:26:53.760 --> 0:26:54.520
<v Speaker 3>it's just cooks.

0:26:55.440 --> 0:26:57.960
<v Speaker 2>If anybody who's new to the podcast and doesn't actually

0:26:58.000 --> 0:27:01.520
<v Speaker 2>know what accidentally unfiltered is, axcellan filter is basically like

0:27:01.640 --> 0:27:05.080
<v Speaker 2>you guys, write in your most embarrassing stories. Sometimes they're

0:27:05.080 --> 0:27:09.160
<v Speaker 2>not even embarrassing, sometimes they're just fucking wild. Just write

0:27:09.200 --> 0:27:11.200
<v Speaker 2>in your wildest stories, and we read them mountain, we

0:27:11.280 --> 0:27:11.840
<v Speaker 2>all laugh together.

0:27:11.920 --> 0:27:14.320
<v Speaker 1>It's basically what it is, all right, I'm kicking it off.

0:27:14.520 --> 0:27:16.560
<v Speaker 3>So I have been going through a very drawn out

0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:19.320
<v Speaker 3>and complex breakup with my ex. We were together for

0:27:19.400 --> 0:27:22.080
<v Speaker 3>five years and have been separated for a year. Just

0:27:22.160 --> 0:27:25.560
<v Speaker 3>after New Year's I flew to Adelaide to see him officially,

0:27:25.640 --> 0:27:28.080
<v Speaker 3>to put boundaries in place to allow us to both

0:27:28.119 --> 0:27:28.439
<v Speaker 3>move on.

0:27:28.480 --> 0:27:30.040
<v Speaker 1>I love that you had to fly there to put

0:27:30.080 --> 0:27:31.000
<v Speaker 1>the boundary place.

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:33.400
<v Speaker 2>You don't need you never need to do a face

0:27:33.440 --> 0:27:34.919
<v Speaker 2>to face, just do it on the phone.

0:27:34.960 --> 0:27:37.919
<v Speaker 1>It was super emotional and hard, et cetera. However, and

0:27:37.960 --> 0:27:40.320
<v Speaker 1>we had sex. Hund sent it in. It was like

0:27:40.320 --> 0:27:42.280
<v Speaker 1>that last closing sex. You know you all have to

0:27:42.280 --> 0:27:42.560
<v Speaker 1>have it.

0:27:43.440 --> 0:27:46.800
<v Speaker 3>However, around this time I started seeing this other person.

0:27:46.920 --> 0:27:50.200
<v Speaker 3>He was being so lovely and making himself very available

0:27:50.240 --> 0:27:50.439
<v Speaker 3>to me.

0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Let's call him Phil.

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:54.600
<v Speaker 3>I was originally meant to be flying back from Adelaide

0:27:54.600 --> 0:27:57.560
<v Speaker 3>to Sydney on the Wednesday, but ended up changing it

0:27:57.600 --> 0:28:01.760
<v Speaker 3>to the Tuesday. Phil By Chair was flying from Sydney

0:28:01.800 --> 0:28:04.639
<v Speaker 3>to Adelaide on the Wednesday, but our flights would cross

0:28:04.640 --> 0:28:07.440
<v Speaker 3>in the sky. I just kept up with the white

0:28:07.520 --> 0:28:09.280
<v Speaker 3>lie that I was flying back on Wednesday, as I

0:28:09.359 --> 0:28:11.600
<v Speaker 3>knew that he would want to see me on Tuesday

0:28:11.680 --> 0:28:13.840
<v Speaker 3>when I got back. However, I also knew that the

0:28:13.880 --> 0:28:16.760
<v Speaker 3>emotions from my trip to my ex would be hectic

0:28:16.840 --> 0:28:19.320
<v Speaker 3>and I wouldn't feel like seeing him. For whatever reason,

0:28:20.280 --> 0:28:22.040
<v Speaker 3>I just felt it was easier not to mention I

0:28:22.080 --> 0:28:25.679
<v Speaker 3>was home a day earlier. So Wednesday, at midday he

0:28:25.800 --> 0:28:29.200
<v Speaker 3>messages me asking how I was tracking and my flight movements, etc.

0:28:29.920 --> 0:28:32.280
<v Speaker 1>I mentioned that I was just heading to the airport

0:28:32.280 --> 0:28:33.399
<v Speaker 1>in Adelaide.

0:28:32.880 --> 0:28:35.520
<v Speaker 3>Now noting I was already home in Sydney and in bed.

0:28:35.720 --> 0:28:38.880
<v Speaker 3>But to my horror, he messaged saying his flight was

0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:40.840
<v Speaker 3>changed and he would now be at the airport in

0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:46.640
<v Speaker 3>Sydney when my flight arrived. It was too late to

0:28:46.680 --> 0:28:49.000
<v Speaker 3>say my flight was already changed. I had already said

0:28:49.000 --> 0:28:50.400
<v Speaker 3>I was on my way to the airport, and he

0:28:50.480 --> 0:28:52.280
<v Speaker 3>knew the flight I was meant to be on, so

0:28:52.320 --> 0:28:53.840
<v Speaker 3>he would be able to see that it was at

0:28:53.880 --> 0:28:59.840
<v Speaker 3>the airport departure arrival lounge. So call me crazy, But

0:29:00.080 --> 0:29:02.320
<v Speaker 3>over an hour before I was meant to land in Sydney,

0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:08.520
<v Speaker 3>I packed to pretend carry back. I put on a cap,

0:29:08.720 --> 0:29:11.479
<v Speaker 3>dark sunnies and the biggest face master hide behind, and

0:29:11.520 --> 0:29:14.840
<v Speaker 3>I drove to the airport. I went through security, I

0:29:14.880 --> 0:29:16.680
<v Speaker 3>found the gate I was meant to be rhyming at.

0:29:16.720 --> 0:29:19.680
<v Speaker 3>I found the closest toilet and I sat there for forty.

0:29:19.360 --> 0:29:21.760
<v Speaker 1>Five minutes waiting for my plane to land.

0:29:22.760 --> 0:29:25.000
<v Speaker 3>As new waves of people came into the toilet, i'd

0:29:25.080 --> 0:29:27.400
<v Speaker 3>causually find an excuse to ask, Hey, what flight did

0:29:27.440 --> 0:29:31.400
<v Speaker 3>you come off, until finally someone said adelaide. I walked

0:29:31.400 --> 0:29:33.560
<v Speaker 3>outside the toilet to see if Phil walking towards the

0:29:33.600 --> 0:29:35.640
<v Speaker 3>gate to meet me, And there I was, pretending to

0:29:35.680 --> 0:29:37.920
<v Speaker 3>have just arrived with my fate carry on luggage, being

0:29:37.960 --> 0:29:40.600
<v Speaker 3>embraced with the hargin questions about how my flight was.

0:29:40.920 --> 0:29:43.360
<v Speaker 3>I have never felt more crazy, whilst also being weirdly

0:29:43.360 --> 0:29:46.680
<v Speaker 3>impressed with myself for pulling off this crazy act seamlessly.

0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:51.600
<v Speaker 3>Phil and I are still dating months later, but this

0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:53.880
<v Speaker 3>story is in the vault for a long time yet.

0:29:54.080 --> 0:29:55.880
<v Speaker 3>Maybe it could be a wedding night story when it's

0:29:55.920 --> 0:29:57.520
<v Speaker 3>too late for him to run.

0:29:57.840 --> 0:29:59.800
<v Speaker 1>Is this I actually died.

0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:01.720
<v Speaker 3>It's like, I don't even know if it's an accidentally

0:30:01.800 --> 0:30:04.000
<v Speaker 3>unfiltered I don't think it's fucking nuts.

0:30:04.320 --> 0:30:05.840
<v Speaker 2>It's so fucking nuts.

0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:08.600
<v Speaker 1>I just couldn't believe the effort she went to. She

0:30:08.720 --> 0:30:10.720
<v Speaker 1>just got home and she's exhausted in bed, and she

0:30:10.800 --> 0:30:11.440
<v Speaker 1>got up to go.

0:30:11.600 --> 0:30:15.280
<v Speaker 3>She went through security to pretend she just landed because

0:30:15.320 --> 0:30:16.840
<v Speaker 3>she didn't want to say, oh, do you know what

0:30:16.920 --> 0:30:18.200
<v Speaker 3>I actually got back last night?

0:30:18.320 --> 0:30:20.600
<v Speaker 2>Like you would just I mean, like you wouldn't go

0:30:20.640 --> 0:30:21.360
<v Speaker 2>through security.

0:30:21.400 --> 0:30:23.239
<v Speaker 3>You would just like rock up and then be like, oh,

0:30:23.280 --> 0:30:26.800
<v Speaker 3>I know because they were landing past you. Yeah, they

0:30:26.800 --> 0:30:29.120
<v Speaker 3>were at the same time. So she had to If

0:30:29.160 --> 0:30:30.680
<v Speaker 3>you're going to do this, you have to commit to

0:30:30.720 --> 0:30:31.080
<v Speaker 3>the line.

0:30:31.120 --> 0:30:33.320
<v Speaker 2>It's such a commitment to the it's so deep.

0:30:33.480 --> 0:30:36.920
<v Speaker 3>That's so that is like I can't I actually can't believe.

0:30:36.960 --> 0:30:39.800
<v Speaker 3>But also like it's very deceptive. I would actually love

0:30:39.880 --> 0:30:41.920
<v Speaker 3>for you, like, if you feel like you're there in

0:30:41.960 --> 0:30:43.600
<v Speaker 3>the relationship, I'd love for you to tell him so

0:30:43.600 --> 0:30:44.520
<v Speaker 3>you can tell us what happens.

0:30:44.800 --> 0:30:46.560
<v Speaker 2>No, do you know what I want? I want you

0:30:46.640 --> 0:30:49.160
<v Speaker 2>to phone record this. Can you if you're listening to this,

0:30:49.240 --> 0:30:51.240
<v Speaker 2>can you phone record telling him one day when you

0:30:51.280 --> 0:30:53.960
<v Speaker 2>actually tell him and then send us the audio. So

0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:56.080
<v Speaker 2>not only did you prank him once, prank him twice.

0:30:56.240 --> 0:30:56.960
<v Speaker 2>That's the same thing.

0:30:57.120 --> 0:30:59.760
<v Speaker 3>I would love to know if there's anyone else out

0:30:59.760 --> 0:31:03.360
<v Speaker 3>there that has gone above and beyond something like this

0:31:03.840 --> 0:31:06.560
<v Speaker 3>to avoid a situation or in a relationship. I would

0:31:06.560 --> 0:31:08.440
<v Speaker 3>have loved you know how many other crazy stories there are,

0:31:08.520 --> 0:31:10.560
<v Speaker 3>and for some reason, Laura, I feel like you would

0:31:10.640 --> 0:31:11.080
<v Speaker 3>have one.

0:31:11.520 --> 0:31:13.520
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't have any like this, but I do

0:31:13.640 --> 0:31:16.000
<v Speaker 2>feel like this sort of thing like this was innocent

0:31:16.040 --> 0:31:19.720
<v Speaker 2>on her part, But I also feel like it usually

0:31:20.000 --> 0:31:23.280
<v Speaker 2>involves another person, Like it usually involves some sort of

0:31:23.360 --> 0:31:26.400
<v Speaker 2>cheating or some sort of like lie or deception, like

0:31:26.400 --> 0:31:27.600
<v Speaker 2>they needn't be bothered to get.

0:31:27.480 --> 0:31:29.520
<v Speaker 1>Out of bed seem that night, well hilarious.

0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:31.800
<v Speaker 2>He probably didn't know that there was this overlap with

0:31:31.840 --> 0:31:34.560
<v Speaker 2>her ex boyfriend either, and so like there's usually like

0:31:34.640 --> 0:31:36.520
<v Speaker 2>something else going on. I think if you have to

0:31:36.560 --> 0:31:39.960
<v Speaker 2>go to these extremes to like lie about your whereabouts,

0:31:40.240 --> 0:31:43.240
<v Speaker 2>it's usually because there's a third party in a relationship,

0:31:43.240 --> 0:31:45.080
<v Speaker 2>which is never healthy. So please, we don't want to

0:31:45.080 --> 0:31:46.280
<v Speaker 2>know about all your cheating scandals.

0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:46.520
<v Speaker 1>Guys.

0:31:47.320 --> 0:31:51.480
<v Speaker 2>I have a brief but extremely cooked accidentally unfiltered. Okay,

0:31:51.760 --> 0:31:54.320
<v Speaker 2>I decided to get into bed with a work colleague

0:31:54.400 --> 0:31:55.960
<v Speaker 2>and things did get a bit heated.

0:31:56.000 --> 0:31:58.120
<v Speaker 1>I like that. You just decided as well. I decided

0:31:58.160 --> 0:32:00.360
<v Speaker 1>to get into bed. She was talking with a bak

0:32:02.360 --> 0:32:03.840
<v Speaker 1>to pass me a pen, and then we ended up

0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:04.040
<v Speaker 1>in there.

0:32:04.080 --> 0:32:07.080
<v Speaker 2>Let's just go in. They were obviously getting a bit frisky.

0:32:07.120 --> 0:32:10.040
<v Speaker 2>So anyway, she's hooking up with a work colleague. Things

0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:12.520
<v Speaker 2>were getting down and dirty, and we were rolling around

0:32:12.520 --> 0:32:14.920
<v Speaker 2>in the sheets, and as he was about to come,

0:32:15.240 --> 0:32:18.800
<v Speaker 2>he says to me in a really sexy voice, keep

0:32:18.840 --> 0:32:23.560
<v Speaker 2>touching my balls, baby feels good. A little confused, I said,

0:32:23.560 --> 0:32:26.440
<v Speaker 2>I looked at him and I replied, I'm not touching

0:32:26.440 --> 0:32:26.959
<v Speaker 2>your balls.

0:32:27.680 --> 0:32:28.520
<v Speaker 1>And then he looked.

0:32:28.280 --> 0:32:31.480
<v Speaker 3>Down only to see my sausage dog was licking his

0:32:31.720 --> 0:32:33.800
<v Speaker 3>ball sack at the exact same time.

0:32:34.120 --> 0:32:36.360
<v Speaker 1>And I had forgotten that I'd left the door open.

0:32:36.640 --> 0:32:38.320
<v Speaker 1>For good man, I had a cottage dog.

0:32:40.400 --> 0:32:42.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh, there was another sausage in the bed that day.

0:32:42.680 --> 0:32:45.840
<v Speaker 3>There were multiple sausages in that bed.

0:32:46.080 --> 0:32:47.760
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, she was like, that's the last time the dog

0:32:47.800 --> 0:32:49.800
<v Speaker 2>was ever in the bedroom whilst we were having sex.

0:32:50.080 --> 0:32:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Could you imagine time.

0:32:51.480 --> 0:32:54.200
<v Speaker 2>We ever had se Could you imagine looking down and

0:32:54.240 --> 0:32:58.120
<v Speaker 2>there's a dog licking your balls don't have balls?

0:32:58.160 --> 0:32:59.960
<v Speaker 1>But that's one thing. But it's the mortification that you

0:33:00.120 --> 0:33:02.720
<v Speaker 1>just openly admitted power much you like, how much she

0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:04.840
<v Speaker 1>liked it. That's what gets me.

0:33:04.880 --> 0:33:06.280
<v Speaker 3>It's the fact that I was like, fuck, I can't

0:33:06.280 --> 0:33:08.640
<v Speaker 3>even come this. I just said how good it felt dead.

0:33:08.720 --> 0:33:11.400
<v Speaker 3>But also it's like, just keep doing it, fighter, It's okay.

0:33:11.520 --> 0:33:14.640
<v Speaker 3>Here's another question I'm posing in this this weird situation.

0:33:15.400 --> 0:33:19.840
<v Speaker 3>Unless the euphoria really was making him crazy, wouldn't you

0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:22.880
<v Speaker 3>be able to differentiate a tongue on your balls to

0:33:23.040 --> 0:33:26.800
<v Speaker 3>like a cupping because obviously obviously he can see her

0:33:26.840 --> 0:33:28.400
<v Speaker 3>face that her tongue is in the air.

0:33:28.560 --> 0:33:31.120
<v Speaker 2>Maybe, to be fair, I don't think guys have a

0:33:31.160 --> 0:33:33.240
<v Speaker 2>hell of a lot of nerve endings in their bullsack.

0:33:33.280 --> 0:33:36.120
<v Speaker 2>I feel like their ballsack is like it's sensitive, but

0:33:36.160 --> 0:33:38.760
<v Speaker 2>they don't feel like they can distinguish like the type

0:33:38.760 --> 0:33:43.840
<v Speaker 2>of touch necessarily a wet tongue more sandpaper, isn't he

0:33:43.960 --> 0:33:46.440
<v Speaker 2>because maybe you would know maybe he thought it was

0:33:46.480 --> 0:33:48.480
<v Speaker 2>like the nails, like maybe he thought it was like

0:33:48.520 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 2>a stroke or a scratch. I'm given the guy the

0:33:50.600 --> 0:33:52.280
<v Speaker 2>benefit of the doubt. I don't think he was laying

0:33:52.320 --> 0:33:54.240
<v Speaker 2>there thinking, God, that feels like a dog tongue.

0:33:54.120 --> 0:33:57.600
<v Speaker 3>Keeping and I'm thinking it's like emphoria and juice delirium.

0:33:57.600 --> 0:33:59.320
<v Speaker 3>That's what I'm gonna give him. I'm gonna give him

0:33:59.320 --> 0:34:03.240
<v Speaker 3>an out. Let's get into the conversation around weaponized incompetence.

0:34:03.280 --> 0:34:06.120
<v Speaker 1>I think that's enough, all right.

0:34:06.240 --> 0:34:10.600
<v Speaker 2>Getting into weaponized incompetence probably should start with what it is,

0:34:10.640 --> 0:34:12.239
<v Speaker 2>since we managed to talk about it for a hell

0:34:12.280 --> 0:34:15.000
<v Speaker 2>of a lot in the beginning, to tell it, Oh, okay,

0:34:15.080 --> 0:34:16.279
<v Speaker 2>I don't even know where to start.

0:34:16.320 --> 0:34:19.880
<v Speaker 3>And I was like at the beginning. She's like, I'm

0:34:19.920 --> 0:34:22.160
<v Speaker 3>overwhelmed with information. I was like, break it down. Let's

0:34:22.160 --> 0:34:24.520
<v Speaker 3>start at the beginning. What is a weaponizing competence? Like?

0:34:24.560 --> 0:34:27.279
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so weaponized in competence it sounds like and I said,

0:34:27.320 --> 0:34:30.040
<v Speaker 2>it's a trending on TikTok. It's actually been around, well,

0:34:30.080 --> 0:34:31.800
<v Speaker 2>I mean, the actual thing of it has been around

0:34:31.800 --> 0:34:33.439
<v Speaker 2>for a long time. I would say since the dawn

0:34:33.480 --> 0:34:36.239
<v Speaker 2>of time even but it's recently been reported on up

0:34:36.360 --> 0:34:38.600
<v Speaker 2>until two thousand and seven, that's when the first articles

0:34:38.640 --> 0:34:41.040
<v Speaker 2>came out. It's been called many different names. It's been

0:34:41.080 --> 0:34:45.480
<v Speaker 2>called strategic incompetence. It's also called performative incompetence. BRIT's laughing

0:34:45.520 --> 0:34:47.960
<v Speaker 2>at me because it's taken me about fifteen times, like that,

0:34:48.800 --> 0:34:50.239
<v Speaker 2>was it called a tongue twister for you?

0:34:50.520 --> 0:34:52.280
<v Speaker 1>It's also some people call it gas lighting.

0:34:52.600 --> 0:34:54.719
<v Speaker 2>Well, yes, it's actually a form of gas lighting, and

0:34:54.760 --> 0:34:58.879
<v Speaker 2>it is a form of manipulation. So basically, weaponized incompetence

0:34:59.200 --> 0:35:02.680
<v Speaker 2>is feigning incompetence at a task. But it's kind of

0:35:02.680 --> 0:35:04.960
<v Speaker 2>bigger than that. So it's basically like and I don't

0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:07.200
<v Speaker 2>want to say it's gendered, because it can happen in

0:35:07.239 --> 0:35:09.920
<v Speaker 2>all genders and it can happen in all relationships. But

0:35:10.000 --> 0:35:13.320
<v Speaker 2>where we often see it is say with the housework

0:35:13.360 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 2>at home. And I was going to give you an

0:35:14.520 --> 0:35:16.839
<v Speaker 2>example to be able to really kind of break down

0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:21.000
<v Speaker 2>what it is. Maybe your partner really sucks at cleaning,

0:35:21.120 --> 0:35:23.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, they always do a shitty job of the laundry,

0:35:23.800 --> 0:35:25.880
<v Speaker 2>they do a shitty job of cleaning up the dishes,

0:35:26.280 --> 0:35:29.080
<v Speaker 2>menial domestic household labor, or things that could be thought

0:35:29.120 --> 0:35:31.400
<v Speaker 2>of as being a bit more boring or being women's

0:35:31.400 --> 0:35:36.359
<v Speaker 2>work in quotation marks. Maybe your partner does a shitty job,

0:35:36.640 --> 0:35:39.000
<v Speaker 2>knowing full well that if they do a shitty job,

0:35:39.040 --> 0:35:40.800
<v Speaker 2>you're going to pick up the slack and do it anyway.

0:35:41.120 --> 0:35:42.640
<v Speaker 2>The reason why I wanted to do this as a

0:35:42.640 --> 0:35:45.480
<v Speaker 2>conversation is because I have seen this, and I have

0:35:45.520 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 2>had a lot of conversations with my girlfriends who have

0:35:48.239 --> 0:35:52.120
<v Speaker 2>kids around how their partners don't necessarily pick up the

0:35:52.120 --> 0:35:54.319
<v Speaker 2>full slack, or how they feel like their partners are

0:35:54.400 --> 0:35:57.959
<v Speaker 2>helping in quotation marks with the kid, but not necessarily

0:35:58.239 --> 0:36:01.200
<v Speaker 2>really stepping up to the plate. And although I say that,

0:36:01.280 --> 0:36:05.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, it's not just in heterosexual relationships, it isn't,

0:36:05.600 --> 0:36:09.520
<v Speaker 2>but I do think predominantly it presents itself in heterosexual relationships,

0:36:09.520 --> 0:36:12.480
<v Speaker 2>and the reason for that is because it really plays

0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:15.839
<v Speaker 2>into our gender stereotypes and the roles that we have

0:36:16.239 --> 0:36:19.040
<v Speaker 2>as part of our gender stereotypes. So for example, men

0:36:19.120 --> 0:36:21.560
<v Speaker 2>being better at technology or being better at doing the

0:36:21.600 --> 0:36:23.759
<v Speaker 2>garden and doing the maintenance, and women being better at

0:36:23.760 --> 0:36:27.040
<v Speaker 2>the domestic duties, and us relying on our partners to

0:36:27.080 --> 0:36:29.799
<v Speaker 2>do jobs that we are very capable of doing but

0:36:29.840 --> 0:36:31.799
<v Speaker 2>we don't really like doing, so we pretend we can't

0:36:31.800 --> 0:36:34.319
<v Speaker 2>really do them very well. I did it recently when

0:36:34.320 --> 0:36:35.799
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to set up the Netflix and I

0:36:35.840 --> 0:36:37.400
<v Speaker 2>was like, I don't know how to do that, Babe,

0:36:37.400 --> 0:36:37.879
<v Speaker 2>you do it.

0:36:38.080 --> 0:36:40.800
<v Speaker 3>Well, let's talk before we get into that too much,

0:36:40.880 --> 0:36:44.000
<v Speaker 3>even though you just did. Let's talk about why this

0:36:44.040 --> 0:36:45.880
<v Speaker 3>came up, Like where you've seen this because it is

0:36:45.880 --> 0:36:48.920
<v Speaker 3>training on TikTok, isn't it. It's like one of the

0:36:48.960 --> 0:36:50.560
<v Speaker 3>most tiktocketed things.

0:36:51.920 --> 0:36:53.719
<v Speaker 1>And I know this is showing my but it is.

0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:56.719
<v Speaker 3>It's like, I'm going to call training on tiktoketed from

0:36:56.719 --> 0:36:57.600
<v Speaker 3>here on in totally.

0:36:57.640 --> 0:36:59.200
<v Speaker 2>And if you are not on TikTok and you do

0:36:59.239 --> 0:37:00.480
<v Speaker 2>want to have a deep dive that there is a

0:37:00.480 --> 0:37:04.600
<v Speaker 2>whole subculture around weaponized incompetence. And I don't, like I said,

0:37:04.640 --> 0:37:06.960
<v Speaker 2>it's not something that is new though. It's just that

0:37:06.960 --> 0:37:09.480
<v Speaker 2>we've been given a label for something that people have

0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:13.160
<v Speaker 2>experienced for many, many years. And I think sometimes when

0:37:13.160 --> 0:37:15.480
<v Speaker 2>we have a label to describe something that we've all

0:37:15.600 --> 0:37:19.879
<v Speaker 2>experienced collectively, you go, fuck, that's what that is. I'm

0:37:19.920 --> 0:37:22.920
<v Speaker 2>not insane, and weaponized in competence can truly make you

0:37:22.960 --> 0:37:24.880
<v Speaker 2>feel insane. It can also make you feel like your

0:37:24.880 --> 0:37:28.400
<v Speaker 2>partner's a child and your parenting another child, I mean weaponized.

0:37:28.960 --> 0:37:31.120
<v Speaker 3>To me, I actually don't know how much I love

0:37:31.200 --> 0:37:33.839
<v Speaker 3>the term, to be honest, I feel like it's quite aggressive.

0:37:33.920 --> 0:37:37.200
<v Speaker 3>But the term weaponized is they're saying it's you're using

0:37:37.200 --> 0:37:39.400
<v Speaker 3>it as a weapon because you are putting the onus

0:37:39.520 --> 0:37:42.320
<v Speaker 3>on your partner. You're putting the pressure on your partner.

0:37:42.360 --> 0:37:43.959
<v Speaker 3>You're wiping your hands.

0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Clean of it.

0:37:44.200 --> 0:37:48.960
<v Speaker 3>You're just saying, essentially colloquially, unofficially, your internal monologue is

0:37:49.080 --> 0:37:50.080
<v Speaker 3>I can't fuck to do this.

0:37:50.280 --> 0:37:52.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to do this. You can do everything.

0:37:52.680 --> 0:37:55.160
<v Speaker 3>So they're saying that in a relationship, you're using it

0:37:55.200 --> 0:37:57.160
<v Speaker 3>as a weapon, and I guess you are. But for me,

0:37:57.320 --> 0:38:00.279
<v Speaker 3>like personally, I think I would probably rename it something else.

0:38:00.320 --> 0:38:01.359
<v Speaker 1>I would probably use it.

0:38:01.840 --> 0:38:03.279
<v Speaker 2>I like a fucking lazy grub.

0:38:03.360 --> 0:38:05.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, just be like lazy grubbing confidence or something like that.

0:38:05.960 --> 0:38:08.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay, but also on this, okay, the big question is,

0:38:08.440 --> 0:38:10.480
<v Speaker 2>before we get too far deep into it, is is

0:38:10.520 --> 0:38:13.320
<v Speaker 2>it strategic? Is it something that somebody comes out and goes,

0:38:13.360 --> 0:38:15.799
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to purposefully do a bad job of this

0:38:15.880 --> 0:38:17.720
<v Speaker 2>because I know my partner's going to do it anyway.

0:38:17.960 --> 0:38:19.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't think it has to be strategic. I don't

0:38:19.960 --> 0:38:22.959
<v Speaker 2>think it has to be something that is a conscious decision, but.

0:38:22.920 --> 0:38:25.160
<v Speaker 1>I think often it's subconscious. I'm not on the set.

0:38:25.239 --> 0:38:27.000
<v Speaker 3>I think like I think, if there's every time that

0:38:27.080 --> 0:38:28.440
<v Speaker 3>I have done it, and do you know what. The

0:38:28.480 --> 0:38:29.920
<v Speaker 3>reason that I said to Laura at the start, I

0:38:29.960 --> 0:38:32.080
<v Speaker 3>was like, Oh, I just don't know how much I

0:38:32.120 --> 0:38:34.719
<v Speaker 3>can relate to this is because for as long as

0:38:34.760 --> 0:38:36.480
<v Speaker 3>I can remember, I have been on my own. Even

0:38:36.480 --> 0:38:39.160
<v Speaker 3>if I've been in a relationship or am in a relationship,

0:38:39.200 --> 0:38:42.040
<v Speaker 3>it's There've always been long distance. I've lived alone for

0:38:42.040 --> 0:38:44.359
<v Speaker 3>a long time, travel alone for a long time. I've

0:38:44.360 --> 0:38:46.600
<v Speaker 3>never been really in this situation because I have to

0:38:46.640 --> 0:38:48.960
<v Speaker 3>do everything, Like if the toilet breaks, I have to

0:38:49.000 --> 0:38:50.719
<v Speaker 3>do it. I guess for me, for a long time,

0:38:50.760 --> 0:38:52.279
<v Speaker 3>I've gotten to a point where I have to be

0:38:52.320 --> 0:38:55.080
<v Speaker 3>so fiercely independent that I either pay someone to do it.

0:38:55.080 --> 0:38:57.000
<v Speaker 1>I pay someone to come by my lawns. I'm my lawns.

0:38:57.080 --> 0:39:00.799
<v Speaker 3>So I struggled with trying to find ways that I

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:02.200
<v Speaker 3>have done this in the past. But when I do

0:39:02.320 --> 0:39:04.440
<v Speaker 3>think back, there have been times like that in my

0:39:04.480 --> 0:39:07.160
<v Speaker 3>past relationships where I've done that, but it's been it's

0:39:07.200 --> 0:39:11.239
<v Speaker 3>always been very manual labor out the outdoors, the gardening,

0:39:11.360 --> 0:39:13.839
<v Speaker 3>like the big heavy stuff. That's the stuff that I've

0:39:13.880 --> 0:39:16.759
<v Speaker 3>probably said to my partner, Oh, you know what, I

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:18.160
<v Speaker 3>don't even know how to start a lot, Like I

0:39:18.200 --> 0:39:19.640
<v Speaker 3>know how to start a lormow. Dad told me how

0:39:19.640 --> 0:39:21.239
<v Speaker 3>to start lormo when I was twelve years old.

0:39:21.320 --> 0:39:23.600
<v Speaker 1>Like Dad made me so capable of my life. But

0:39:23.640 --> 0:39:25.279
<v Speaker 1>it's really just because it was hard work. I don't

0:39:25.280 --> 0:39:25.759
<v Speaker 1>want to go out there.

0:39:25.760 --> 0:39:27.040
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to go out in the sun in

0:39:27.080 --> 0:39:29.239
<v Speaker 3>forty five degrees and Moto lawn when he could do it.

0:39:29.280 --> 0:39:31.879
<v Speaker 3>So for me it was, yeah, it wasn't I guess

0:39:31.880 --> 0:39:35.120
<v Speaker 3>it wasn't malicious, But there are sub there's a subconscious

0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:36.200
<v Speaker 3>level to when you do it.

0:39:36.320 --> 0:39:38.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think that that's a really important thing

0:39:38.400 --> 0:39:40.440
<v Speaker 2>because like we are not we are not man hating

0:39:40.480 --> 0:39:43.680
<v Speaker 2>on this podcast. That's not I can love men. And

0:39:43.800 --> 0:39:46.799
<v Speaker 2>I've had lots of conversations with Matt about this, and

0:39:47.080 --> 0:39:50.280
<v Speaker 2>I do really feel like for me, I became acutely

0:39:50.280 --> 0:39:52.680
<v Speaker 2>aware of it after having children, and I became aware

0:39:52.680 --> 0:39:56.800
<v Speaker 2>of it more so around heterosexual gender roles in raising kids.

0:39:57.040 --> 0:39:58.440
<v Speaker 2>So I think that they're like I said, there will

0:39:58.480 --> 0:40:00.399
<v Speaker 2>be some mums who are listening to this who are like, yes,

0:40:00.920 --> 0:40:02.600
<v Speaker 2>I know what you're talking.

0:40:02.320 --> 0:40:03.160
<v Speaker 1>About, Flora burn.

0:40:03.520 --> 0:40:06.239
<v Speaker 2>But also for an example of this in a non

0:40:06.280 --> 0:40:10.920
<v Speaker 2>heterosexual relationship, but in a platonic relationship. So siblings, My

0:40:11.080 --> 0:40:14.560
<v Speaker 2>sister is incredibly organized. She always has been. She's the

0:40:14.600 --> 0:40:17.760
<v Speaker 2>older sister. She is an a personality type.

0:40:17.840 --> 0:40:18.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm not.

0:40:19.160 --> 0:40:21.200
<v Speaker 2>That doesn't mean that I don't have the capability of

0:40:21.280 --> 0:40:24.640
<v Speaker 2>organizing Christmas presents and Birthday presents and booking accommodation and

0:40:24.680 --> 0:40:26.800
<v Speaker 2>all that sort of stuff. Like I am very fucking

0:40:26.800 --> 0:40:28.880
<v Speaker 2>capable of doing all of that. I've done it for

0:40:29.239 --> 0:40:31.600
<v Speaker 2>my own family. But when it comes to things that

0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:34.160
<v Speaker 2>we do joint, I always take a backseat to her.

0:40:34.400 --> 0:40:36.880
<v Speaker 2>I always just let her do it. And part of

0:40:36.920 --> 0:40:38.640
<v Speaker 2>me is like, oh, like, I know that she's going

0:40:38.680 --> 0:40:40.320
<v Speaker 2>to do a good job, Like I know that she

0:40:40.320 --> 0:40:43.160
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't enjoy doing it. No one enjoys going and

0:40:43.200 --> 0:40:45.400
<v Speaker 2>doing the organization or the bookings of everything, but.

0:40:45.520 --> 0:40:46.040
<v Speaker 1>Some people do.

0:40:46.120 --> 0:40:48.200
<v Speaker 2>Some whop get off on that maybe, but I know

0:40:48.280 --> 0:40:50.319
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't. Really, she does it out of necessity, but

0:40:50.360 --> 0:40:52.200
<v Speaker 2>she does it so well that I coast along. And

0:40:52.239 --> 0:40:53.480
<v Speaker 2>I think that there's a lot of probably a lot

0:40:53.480 --> 0:40:56.600
<v Speaker 2>of middle children who do take that role to their

0:40:56.680 --> 0:40:59.520
<v Speaker 2>older siblings. You know, they're like, Okay, my sibling kind

0:40:59.520 --> 0:41:01.600
<v Speaker 2>of has that. But what that does is it means

0:41:01.640 --> 0:41:04.400
<v Speaker 2>that they are always the one doing more work. They

0:41:04.400 --> 0:41:06.560
<v Speaker 2>are always the one who is put in that position,

0:41:06.880 --> 0:41:10.319
<v Speaker 2>and you use your lack of ability to kind of

0:41:10.400 --> 0:41:13.960
<v Speaker 2>coast on their position. And we've seen it in group

0:41:13.960 --> 0:41:16.960
<v Speaker 2>of assignments at UNI. There's always one person who kind

0:41:16.960 --> 0:41:18.560
<v Speaker 2>of is like, oh, I don't really know how to

0:41:18.600 --> 0:41:20.320
<v Speaker 2>do it, like they're doing it so well.

0:41:20.160 --> 0:41:21.720
<v Speaker 1>And then they fucking coast along.

0:41:21.880 --> 0:41:24.360
<v Speaker 2>And nobody likes being in a relationship, being in a

0:41:24.360 --> 0:41:26.879
<v Speaker 2>group assignment with somebody who isn't pulling their weight.

0:41:27.160 --> 0:41:29.480
<v Speaker 3>It's funny you say that, And I'm going to have

0:41:29.520 --> 0:41:31.640
<v Speaker 3>to make a comment on it now because Sherry, my sister,

0:41:31.640 --> 0:41:33.279
<v Speaker 3>listens to the podcast, and she'll be like, bitch, you

0:41:33.320 --> 0:41:36.520
<v Speaker 3>didn't comment on that. That's exactly the same thing. I'm

0:41:36.560 --> 0:41:41.120
<v Speaker 3>this four of us kids. I'm number three, Sherry's number four.

0:41:41.160 --> 0:41:43.879
<v Speaker 3>Sherry's the baby of the family, but that role has

0:41:44.000 --> 0:41:47.719
<v Speaker 3>always fallen on Sheridan. Sheridan in our family is the

0:41:47.800 --> 0:41:51.360
<v Speaker 3>one hundred percent planner. She organizes everything every family trip,

0:41:51.400 --> 0:41:54.799
<v Speaker 3>every family gets together, dinners, Christmas foods, all that big

0:41:54.840 --> 0:41:57.200
<v Speaker 3>stuff that if you don't organize it, like you're going

0:41:57.239 --> 0:41:58.160
<v Speaker 3>to have a disaster day.

0:41:58.200 --> 0:41:59.040
<v Speaker 1>Someone has to do it.

0:41:59.280 --> 0:42:01.680
<v Speaker 3>That is never an million years going to be me

0:42:02.160 --> 0:42:04.439
<v Speaker 3>and saying this, I'm about to do it. I'm about

0:42:04.440 --> 0:42:06.560
<v Speaker 3>to say exactly what we're talking about. She's so good

0:42:06.560 --> 0:42:09.080
<v Speaker 3>at it, she genuinely is, and she doesn't hate it.

0:42:09.160 --> 0:42:11.440
<v Speaker 1>She quite enjoys it. She loves being organized. I'm a

0:42:11.520 --> 0:42:12.080
<v Speaker 1>loose cannon.

0:42:12.480 --> 0:42:15.000
<v Speaker 3>Like they call me Hurricane Britney, a hurricane into a day.

0:42:15.200 --> 0:42:19.800
<v Speaker 3>I am very disorganized. I don't love planning. I hate planning.

0:42:19.800 --> 0:42:21.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't even like to put things in my diary

0:42:21.400 --> 0:42:23.360
<v Speaker 3>for some reason, I'm so against it. I'd like to

0:42:23.400 --> 0:42:26.440
<v Speaker 3>keep things in my head, which is crazy. But what

0:42:26.560 --> 0:42:29.319
<v Speaker 3>I will do, And if Sherry actually came to me

0:42:29.360 --> 0:42:31.839
<v Speaker 3>and said I need help planning this, I would one

0:42:31.920 --> 0:42:35.479
<v Speaker 3>hundred percent help her. But what I do is I say, hey, look,

0:42:36.040 --> 0:42:37.880
<v Speaker 3>I just give her my card. I will give her

0:42:37.920 --> 0:42:39.799
<v Speaker 3>my bank card and I'll say, do what you need

0:42:39.840 --> 0:42:41.960
<v Speaker 3>to do with that, like I'm happy to be the person,

0:42:42.320 --> 0:42:43.799
<v Speaker 3>Like I will pay you for your time. I will

0:42:43.800 --> 0:42:45.839
<v Speaker 3>pay for this day if you organize it. That's how

0:42:45.920 --> 0:42:47.399
<v Speaker 3>much I detest it.

0:42:47.560 --> 0:42:50.160
<v Speaker 2>This is so interesting because this, okay, like maybe this

0:42:50.239 --> 0:42:52.760
<v Speaker 2>isn't a problem in your sibling relationship with your sister,

0:42:53.040 --> 0:42:55.319
<v Speaker 2>but when you think about that, that is why it

0:42:55.400 --> 0:42:58.160
<v Speaker 2>is such a huge fucking problem in relationships when you

0:42:58.200 --> 0:43:02.280
<v Speaker 2>have kids. Because we are a society don't value time,

0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:05.040
<v Speaker 2>but we do value money. So someone being like, well

0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I gave you my car, just do it. That doesn't

0:43:07.640 --> 0:43:11.920
<v Speaker 2>account for the hours of organization, the calling up, pursuing lessons,

0:43:12.080 --> 0:43:14.120
<v Speaker 2>all of that shit that a mom ends up having

0:43:14.200 --> 0:43:17.239
<v Speaker 2>to do. It's like we don't value the time that

0:43:17.320 --> 0:43:20.879
<v Speaker 2>goes into that, and therefore, like that's where the discrepancy

0:43:20.920 --> 0:43:23.160
<v Speaker 2>comes from. But like we're only getting head and I'm

0:43:23.160 --> 0:43:24.960
<v Speaker 2>like getting angry, and I want to just preface this,

0:43:25.120 --> 0:43:27.480
<v Speaker 2>like we're saying that it presents itself in all relationships.

0:43:27.520 --> 0:43:29.399
<v Speaker 2>I think the reason why I get so fired up

0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:35.399
<v Speaker 2>about heterosexual relationships or about parenting relationships is because that's

0:43:35.440 --> 0:43:37.960
<v Speaker 2>where it makes such a long term difference. And it's like,

0:43:38.000 --> 0:43:40.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, you maybe not doing one or two things

0:43:40.080 --> 0:43:42.319
<v Speaker 2>for your sister or me asking Matt to like set

0:43:42.360 --> 0:43:44.680
<v Speaker 2>up the Netflix. They're like one off events. You know,

0:43:44.719 --> 0:43:46.319
<v Speaker 2>it's not very often that I need him to change

0:43:46.360 --> 0:43:48.600
<v Speaker 2>a tire. I can change a tire, but I'd prefer

0:43:48.680 --> 0:43:50.799
<v Speaker 2>him to do it. You know, those things happen, It

0:43:50.800 --> 0:43:53.760
<v Speaker 2>happens once in a blue moon, but parenting happens every

0:43:53.880 --> 0:43:58.240
<v Speaker 2>day constantly, and it's the relentlessness when that task falls

0:43:58.239 --> 0:44:01.399
<v Speaker 2>on a mother and the already share falls on a mother.

0:44:01.440 --> 0:44:03.600
<v Speaker 2>And the thing with this is that there is research

0:44:03.640 --> 0:44:05.799
<v Speaker 2>that's come out in this past year. It comes out

0:44:05.800 --> 0:44:08.360
<v Speaker 2>every year. It looks at the domestic household labor and

0:44:08.400 --> 0:44:10.960
<v Speaker 2>who actually divvies it up and where the imbalances and

0:44:11.000 --> 0:44:15.400
<v Speaker 2>inequality is in our relationships. And on average, women are

0:44:15.400 --> 0:44:19.360
<v Speaker 2>still doing twenty eight hours per week more domestic labor

0:44:19.480 --> 0:44:23.240
<v Speaker 2>than men. And that is unpaid, unappreciated domestic labor.

0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:26.560
<v Speaker 1>And guys, that was in the census. That's accurate. I'm

0:44:26.600 --> 0:44:28.960
<v Speaker 1>coming here with the facts and the data. No, it's crazy.

0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:31.440
<v Speaker 3>That is not shocking or surprising to anyone. I don't

0:44:31.440 --> 0:44:33.360
<v Speaker 3>think there's anyone that would listen to that and be

0:44:33.480 --> 0:44:36.640
<v Speaker 3>surprised by that statistic. But just before we get any

0:44:36.680 --> 0:44:38.719
<v Speaker 3>further into that, because I can see the steam coming

0:44:38.760 --> 0:44:41.240
<v Speaker 3>out of your brain and your anger is building.

0:44:41.480 --> 0:44:42.200
<v Speaker 1>I think that's a.

0:44:42.120 --> 0:44:43.920
<v Speaker 3>Big At the start of the episode, I said to

0:44:43.960 --> 0:44:46.359
<v Speaker 3>you guys, this is why I found this topic hard

0:44:46.400 --> 0:44:48.359
<v Speaker 3>to jump on board with because I think that this,

0:44:49.040 --> 0:44:51.680
<v Speaker 3>whilst presents itself in many aspects and many capacities, I

0:44:51.719 --> 0:44:55.840
<v Speaker 3>think it really presents itself the most in relationships with children,

0:44:55.920 --> 0:44:59.480
<v Speaker 3>so married relationships to facto kids, That's where I think

0:44:59.520 --> 0:45:02.160
<v Speaker 3>this presents self the most. And it's the most problematic

0:45:02.200 --> 0:45:04.680
<v Speaker 3>because when I was trying to relate this to myself,

0:45:04.760 --> 0:45:07.439
<v Speaker 3>obviously with what I just said about Sherry, I don't

0:45:07.440 --> 0:45:09.719
<v Speaker 3>even really fit that mold because, like you just said,

0:45:09.760 --> 0:45:12.480
<v Speaker 3>people don't value people's time. I will pay Sherry for

0:45:12.520 --> 0:45:14.600
<v Speaker 3>her time. I will say, you book this, you don't

0:45:14.640 --> 0:45:16.400
<v Speaker 3>have to pay for the holiday. I will pay for it,

0:45:16.440 --> 0:45:18.600
<v Speaker 3>So this is your time. I will one hundred percent.

0:45:18.600 --> 0:45:20.279
<v Speaker 3>I will never put that on her because I know

0:45:20.600 --> 0:45:24.680
<v Speaker 3>she's also busy reciprocal respected relationship. So I can't really

0:45:24.719 --> 0:45:27.640
<v Speaker 3>find myself any other ways to relate to it because

0:45:27.680 --> 0:45:30.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't have kids, and I'm not married, and whilst

0:45:30.840 --> 0:45:33.400
<v Speaker 3>this definitely happens at work and I've done this so

0:45:34.040 --> 0:45:35.960
<v Speaker 3>just to say that, like we are not man haters.

0:45:36.160 --> 0:45:37.759
<v Speaker 3>I'll put my hand up and say I do this

0:45:37.840 --> 0:45:40.919
<v Speaker 3>in reverse. At work with technology, I am not good

0:45:40.960 --> 0:45:42.920
<v Speaker 3>with technology. We all know that, Laura, Okay, but like

0:45:43.000 --> 0:45:45.799
<v Speaker 3>nobody is good with technology. Everybody learns to become good

0:45:45.800 --> 0:45:48.319
<v Speaker 3>with technology. So like having a backseat and having the

0:45:48.360 --> 0:45:50.919
<v Speaker 3>mentality of like, oh, I'm not good at technology. All

0:45:50.920 --> 0:45:53.120
<v Speaker 3>that does and we've all got someone in our workplace

0:45:53.120 --> 0:45:55.160
<v Speaker 3>who does it. All it means is that they never

0:45:55.239 --> 0:45:57.200
<v Speaker 3>have to get good and everybody else has to pick

0:45:57.239 --> 0:45:57.720
<v Speaker 3>up the slack.

0:45:57.800 --> 0:45:59.720
<v Speaker 1>Well, what I'll always do is it'll be a task.

0:46:00.280 --> 0:46:02.440
<v Speaker 3>I'll be like, oh, can you do this with this

0:46:02.520 --> 0:46:05.719
<v Speaker 3>patient online while I physically scan the patient. It would

0:46:05.760 --> 0:46:07.560
<v Speaker 3>be something like that. It's never that you would sit

0:46:07.640 --> 0:46:09.640
<v Speaker 3>back and do it. But it's it's same with our relationship.

0:46:09.719 --> 0:46:11.880
<v Speaker 3>L I remember when we started the podcast, I was

0:46:11.960 --> 0:46:13.880
<v Speaker 3>like I didn't even know how to turn a computer on.

0:46:13.920 --> 0:46:15.200
<v Speaker 3>To be honest, I was like, look, why don't you

0:46:15.280 --> 0:46:17.120
<v Speaker 3>do that side of stuff? You do the edit and

0:46:17.200 --> 0:46:18.960
<v Speaker 3>I'll do the business. I was like, let's just work

0:46:19.000 --> 0:46:21.080
<v Speaker 3>out what we're good at at the start and go

0:46:21.120 --> 0:46:21.520
<v Speaker 3>from there.

0:46:21.600 --> 0:46:23.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And that's I mean, like that's different in that

0:46:23.239 --> 0:46:25.439
<v Speaker 2>wad DIVRT tasks. But like, let's get back on track

0:46:25.440 --> 0:46:28.359
<v Speaker 2>with weaponis incompetency as I think sad. There is a

0:46:28.400 --> 0:46:31.239
<v Speaker 2>social commentator on TikTok he handle is that done?

0:46:31.320 --> 0:46:32.359
<v Speaker 1>Chat now?

0:46:32.400 --> 0:46:34.920
<v Speaker 2>She sums it up so perfectly, and what she says

0:46:35.000 --> 0:46:38.040
<v Speaker 2>is so society has told us to value money and work.

0:46:38.239 --> 0:46:41.520
<v Speaker 2>We function under capitalism. We also function within a patriarchy.

0:46:41.800 --> 0:46:45.320
<v Speaker 2>And what a patriarchy is is a society that overvalues

0:46:45.360 --> 0:46:50.200
<v Speaker 2>masculine tasks and undervalues care tasks or traditionally feminine tasks.

0:46:50.560 --> 0:46:53.399
<v Speaker 2>Our society does not value the work that goes into

0:46:53.400 --> 0:46:57.600
<v Speaker 2>managing domestic situations. We also don't value time. We value

0:46:57.600 --> 0:47:01.800
<v Speaker 2>money over time. So, like just taking this down again, maybe,

0:47:01.840 --> 0:47:04.399
<v Speaker 2>for example, you give your partner instructions that they need

0:47:04.440 --> 0:47:06.600
<v Speaker 2>to go to the grocery store and pick up some things.

0:47:07.000 --> 0:47:09.439
<v Speaker 2>If they are calling you the entire time that they're

0:47:09.440 --> 0:47:12.239
<v Speaker 2>at the grocery store, that is weaponized in competence. You

0:47:12.239 --> 0:47:14.480
<v Speaker 2>should be able to give your partner a task to

0:47:14.560 --> 0:47:17.520
<v Speaker 2>do where they're not helping you do a task, it's

0:47:17.560 --> 0:47:19.719
<v Speaker 2>actually their job because they're a participant in.

0:47:19.640 --> 0:47:21.360
<v Speaker 1>The household, a task to do.

0:47:21.560 --> 0:47:23.040
<v Speaker 2>They should be able to go and they should be

0:47:23.080 --> 0:47:26.640
<v Speaker 2>able to complete that task without having to constantly rely

0:47:26.800 --> 0:47:29.480
<v Speaker 2>on you to give them feedback, to give them information.

0:47:29.680 --> 0:47:32.279
<v Speaker 3>Well, the reason that also, this is what I saw,

0:47:32.360 --> 0:47:34.320
<v Speaker 3>and I had to have a chuckle. I think people

0:47:34.360 --> 0:47:37.080
<v Speaker 3>took it too far. But another TikToker that went viral

0:47:37.160 --> 0:47:40.359
<v Speaker 3>and started this whole conversation online was exactly that there

0:47:40.360 --> 0:47:42.879
<v Speaker 3>are a couple that take the piss of relationships. It's

0:47:42.880 --> 0:47:45.480
<v Speaker 3>sort of like you and Matt on TikTok, but they

0:47:45.520 --> 0:47:48.160
<v Speaker 3>take the piss out of married life, kid life. She

0:47:48.360 --> 0:47:50.560
<v Speaker 3>sent him to the grocery store with a grocery list,

0:47:50.600 --> 0:47:53.320
<v Speaker 3>but not only a grocery list, she had to print

0:47:53.360 --> 0:47:55.880
<v Speaker 3>out pictures of every item and every.

0:47:55.719 --> 0:47:57.000
<v Speaker 2>Item so you didn't suck it up.

0:47:57.160 --> 0:47:58.800
<v Speaker 1>Every item on the list had a picture.

0:47:59.040 --> 0:48:00.759
<v Speaker 3>Now, it was supposed to be a bit of a

0:48:00.800 --> 0:48:04.480
<v Speaker 3>piss take at exactly this and the world run with it,

0:48:04.520 --> 0:48:06.000
<v Speaker 3>and they started to sort of come at them a bit,

0:48:06.160 --> 0:48:08.600
<v Speaker 3>saying this is weaponize and competence, this is ridiculous. You're

0:48:08.719 --> 0:48:11.120
<v Speaker 3>enabling your partner to not be good at this by

0:48:11.160 --> 0:48:13.640
<v Speaker 3>saying like I'm gonna baby you. And she was like, what, guys,

0:48:13.680 --> 0:48:16.240
<v Speaker 3>this was a joke, but it did kickstart the whole conversation,

0:48:16.280 --> 0:48:18.799
<v Speaker 3>which is, you know, is why TikTok's so great, But

0:48:18.880 --> 0:48:22.160
<v Speaker 3>that opens up the conversation on the dynamic in the household.

0:48:22.200 --> 0:48:24.880
<v Speaker 3>What goes down in your household? How do you divvy tasks?

0:48:24.960 --> 0:48:27.799
<v Speaker 3>How do you compensate for someone saying that they are

0:48:27.800 --> 0:48:28.440
<v Speaker 3>not good enough?

0:48:28.680 --> 0:48:30.719
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think and the reason why I come back

0:48:30.760 --> 0:48:33.719
<v Speaker 2>to this, like once you've had kids conversation is like

0:48:33.960 --> 0:48:37.279
<v Speaker 2>it is a hugely transformative time in a relationship once

0:48:37.320 --> 0:48:40.799
<v Speaker 2>you have children. And not for everyone, but for a

0:48:40.800 --> 0:48:44.719
<v Speaker 2>lot of people, the majority of that labor falls on

0:48:44.760 --> 0:48:46.680
<v Speaker 2>the mum. And you know, so many of us women

0:48:46.719 --> 0:48:48.480
<v Speaker 2>like we have jobs as well. It's not like we

0:48:48.520 --> 0:48:50.520
<v Speaker 2>don't have work or other things to do, but we

0:48:50.680 --> 0:48:54.200
<v Speaker 2>also end up taking primary role as the care provider

0:48:54.320 --> 0:48:56.760
<v Speaker 2>in families. And it's the small things. It's the things

0:48:56.760 --> 0:48:59.520
<v Speaker 2>that like just get done without being noticed. It's the

0:48:59.680 --> 0:49:01.920
<v Speaker 2>washing of the kid's clothes, they're putting the kids clothes

0:49:01.960 --> 0:49:04.120
<v Speaker 2>away there, making sure that snacks are in the cupboard,

0:49:04.120 --> 0:49:07.000
<v Speaker 2>the making sure that like food prep is done, these

0:49:07.040 --> 0:49:09.040
<v Speaker 2>small tasks. And I know that there are men out

0:49:09.040 --> 0:49:10.839
<v Speaker 2>there who do them, So please don't think that this

0:49:10.880 --> 0:49:13.600
<v Speaker 2>is me just saying all men because that's absolutely not

0:49:13.640 --> 0:49:17.600
<v Speaker 2>the conversation. But there is a predominant shift, and we

0:49:17.680 --> 0:49:20.000
<v Speaker 2>know it from statistics that a lot of women take

0:49:20.080 --> 0:49:23.359
<v Speaker 2>on this role in the household. And I think that sometimes,

0:49:23.719 --> 0:49:27.200
<v Speaker 2>and even with the conversations I've had with Matt, Matt's like, oh,

0:49:27.239 --> 0:49:29.560
<v Speaker 2>but you're just better at it, Like you just get

0:49:29.600 --> 0:49:32.440
<v Speaker 2>the schedules, you just understand it more, like because you

0:49:32.520 --> 0:49:35.920
<v Speaker 2>gave birth to the kids, like you just innately understand

0:49:35.960 --> 0:49:39.320
<v Speaker 2>them more. And I'm like, no, I fucking read books.

0:49:39.000 --> 0:49:41.680
<v Speaker 3>Like and I know the schedule because I looked at

0:49:41.680 --> 0:49:42.280
<v Speaker 3>the schedule.

0:49:42.320 --> 0:49:46.319
<v Speaker 2>And it's like, we have very incorrectly created these stereotype

0:49:46.400 --> 0:49:50.200
<v Speaker 2>dynamics where it's expected that the women just innately understands

0:49:50.280 --> 0:49:53.600
<v Speaker 2>parenting before the man does. The bar is low for guys.

0:49:53.680 --> 0:49:55.960
<v Speaker 2>So Sally Hatworth was an incredible author. We had her

0:49:55.960 --> 0:49:59.040
<v Speaker 2>on the podcast. She told a story about how her

0:49:59.160 --> 0:50:02.560
<v Speaker 2>husband can like do bumbling things as a parent. He

0:50:02.600 --> 0:50:04.799
<v Speaker 2>can like send the kid to school with chewing gum.

0:50:04.920 --> 0:50:07.680
<v Speaker 2>He can do stupid things, and he's the primary caregiver

0:50:07.760 --> 0:50:09.560
<v Speaker 2>in their family. He's a stay at home dad. But

0:50:09.640 --> 0:50:11.760
<v Speaker 2>because the bar is set so low for dads, people

0:50:11.760 --> 0:50:13.799
<v Speaker 2>are like, oh, but he's doing such a good job.

0:50:13.840 --> 0:50:16.759
<v Speaker 2>He's trying. And I think it comes down to this

0:50:16.880 --> 0:50:19.560
<v Speaker 2>word that we use, which is help. I'm guilty of it.

0:50:19.640 --> 0:50:21.640
<v Speaker 2>I'll say, Matt, I need you to help me with this.

0:50:21.719 --> 0:50:24.000
<v Speaker 2>I need to help me with the tasks. But when

0:50:24.000 --> 0:50:27.360
<v Speaker 2>we are asking somebody to help us in a domestic setting,

0:50:27.600 --> 0:50:30.520
<v Speaker 2>what that implies is that that's our job. If I'm

0:50:30.520 --> 0:50:32.880
<v Speaker 2>asking you to help me, that's me saying, well, this

0:50:33.000 --> 0:50:34.560
<v Speaker 2>is my job, but I need you to help me

0:50:34.640 --> 0:50:35.160
<v Speaker 2>do much to.

0:50:35.360 --> 0:50:36.720
<v Speaker 1>Just contribute to it slightly.

0:50:36.840 --> 0:50:39.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but it shouldn't be. We shouldn't need to ask

0:50:39.640 --> 0:50:41.920
<v Speaker 2>our partners for help in a domestic setting. The bar

0:50:42.040 --> 0:50:44.239
<v Speaker 2>needs to be set at a point where we'll equal contributors.

0:50:44.560 --> 0:50:48.080
<v Speaker 2>We both parent this child. And yes, I may know

0:50:48.239 --> 0:50:51.400
<v Speaker 2>and understand the things better now because I've done the research,

0:50:51.560 --> 0:50:54.279
<v Speaker 2>but you were expected to also do that research. And I,

0:50:54.280 --> 0:50:55.680
<v Speaker 2>if you're going to go to the bathroom and take

0:50:55.680 --> 0:50:57.279
<v Speaker 2>a forty five minute shit, I'm going to go to

0:50:57.280 --> 0:50:58.920
<v Speaker 2>the bathroom and take a forty five minute shit, Like

0:50:59.000 --> 0:51:01.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to have a relation love to That

0:51:01.560 --> 0:51:04.040
<v Speaker 2>was an example, well, because some guys were like, they'll

0:51:04.040 --> 0:51:06.399
<v Speaker 2>get up, they'll have a shower, and then and they'll

0:51:06.400 --> 0:51:06.840
<v Speaker 2>go over.

0:51:06.680 --> 0:51:09.239
<v Speaker 1>To the toilet and an hour's gone part and an hour's.

0:51:08.920 --> 0:51:11.480
<v Speaker 2>Gone and you're there with the kids, and then if

0:51:11.520 --> 0:51:13.080
<v Speaker 2>you need to go and have a shower or go

0:51:13.120 --> 0:51:15.200
<v Speaker 2>to the gym or whatever, the kids are screaming. The

0:51:15.239 --> 0:51:16.800
<v Speaker 2>house is a mess, and you don't get to have

0:51:16.960 --> 0:51:19.680
<v Speaker 2>that time, that personal time to relax and actually take

0:51:19.719 --> 0:51:23.080
<v Speaker 2>care of yourself. And that all plays into these gender stereotypes.

0:51:23.080 --> 0:51:25.560
<v Speaker 2>So why it's such a huge problem and where weaponized

0:51:25.600 --> 0:51:28.440
<v Speaker 2>incompetence actually stems from. I'm getting Randy.

0:51:28.840 --> 0:51:29.640
<v Speaker 1>Ah.

0:51:29.760 --> 0:51:31.919
<v Speaker 3>I was like, I feel like there's some personal things

0:51:31.920 --> 0:51:33.960
<v Speaker 3>Matt stop taking forty five minutes.

0:51:34.360 --> 0:51:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Actually not, I'm so proud of and this is not

0:51:37.440 --> 0:51:39.440
<v Speaker 2>a flex but like, I'm so proud of my relationship

0:51:39.480 --> 0:51:42.600
<v Speaker 2>with Matt now because we've had these conversations. We've spoken

0:51:42.640 --> 0:51:45.480
<v Speaker 2>about it so many times that we've had the reset.

0:51:45.520 --> 0:51:49.120
<v Speaker 2>And I think very early on there was this expectation,

0:51:49.280 --> 0:51:52.520
<v Speaker 2>not an expectation that happened with intention, but like obviously

0:51:52.560 --> 0:51:55.120
<v Speaker 2>because I gave birth to Marley and then I was

0:51:55.160 --> 0:51:58.480
<v Speaker 2>breastfeeding Mali, Matt kind of felt a little bit more like, oh, well,

0:51:58.520 --> 0:52:01.239
<v Speaker 2>that's your thing, Like you've got figured out. Now just

0:52:01.280 --> 0:52:03.359
<v Speaker 2>because you're bound to a child from one task, which

0:52:03.400 --> 0:52:05.800
<v Speaker 2>is breastfeeding, doesn't mean you're bound to them for every

0:52:05.840 --> 0:52:06.800
<v Speaker 2>other freaking task.

0:52:06.880 --> 0:52:09.239
<v Speaker 3>And I definitely think it has something to do like

0:52:09.480 --> 0:52:11.200
<v Speaker 3>there's gotta be a lot of aspects to it, but

0:52:11.200 --> 0:52:13.440
<v Speaker 3>it definitely has something to do with the way you're raised.

0:52:13.480 --> 0:52:18.360
<v Speaker 3>If you, I guess, are raised with no level of independence.

0:52:19.280 --> 0:52:21.759
<v Speaker 3>You never do anything for yourself growing up, so you

0:52:21.800 --> 0:52:24.160
<v Speaker 3>never put your dishes away, you never cook anything, you

0:52:24.200 --> 0:52:26.200
<v Speaker 3>don't know how to do the washing, you don't know

0:52:26.239 --> 0:52:28.840
<v Speaker 3>how to live independently. Of course, that's going to carry

0:52:28.880 --> 0:52:31.839
<v Speaker 3>into your relationship. And producer Keisha was telling us about

0:52:31.840 --> 0:52:34.399
<v Speaker 3>a couple that she knew that got married quite young

0:52:34.680 --> 0:52:36.839
<v Speaker 3>twenty two. They were religious, so they had never lived

0:52:36.880 --> 0:52:40.799
<v Speaker 3>together before that. When they did move in together, the

0:52:40.880 --> 0:52:44.839
<v Speaker 3>relationship ended because he couldn't do anything. His mother had

0:52:44.880 --> 0:52:46.400
<v Speaker 3>done his washing till the day he moved out. He

0:52:46.400 --> 0:52:48.799
<v Speaker 3>didn't know how to press go on the washing machine, wild.

0:52:48.640 --> 0:52:51.279
<v Speaker 1>Wild, He didn't know how to literally live.

0:52:51.719 --> 0:52:53.759
<v Speaker 3>She felt like she was mothering him, and there was

0:52:53.800 --> 0:52:57.160
<v Speaker 3>a demise of the relationship. I think we can't pretend

0:52:57.360 --> 0:52:58.359
<v Speaker 3>it has nothing.

0:52:58.080 --> 0:53:00.000
<v Speaker 1>To do with the way we're brought up totally.

0:53:00.040 --> 0:53:02.600
<v Speaker 2>But that also then lends itself into stereotypes, right, like

0:53:02.640 --> 0:53:04.920
<v Speaker 2>we've been raised in different ways. I'm sure the females

0:53:04.960 --> 0:53:08.000
<v Speaker 2>of that household were participants in cleaning up the dishes,

0:53:08.040 --> 0:53:09.960
<v Speaker 2>in taking care of you know, I don't think it

0:53:09.960 --> 0:53:12.200
<v Speaker 2>would be that all the children in that household were

0:53:12.200 --> 0:53:14.440
<v Speaker 2>allowed to just sloth around. None of them grew up

0:53:14.440 --> 0:53:17.040
<v Speaker 2>knowing how to take care of themselves. The imbalance of

0:53:17.160 --> 0:53:21.680
<v Speaker 2>labor is often something that has to be unlearned. Explaining why,

0:53:21.800 --> 0:53:26.640
<v Speaker 2>explaining even what weaponized incompetence is explaining why that needs

0:53:26.640 --> 0:53:30.000
<v Speaker 2>to shift because this as a problem and as a

0:53:30.040 --> 0:53:34.000
<v Speaker 2>reoccurring issue in a relationship, builds so much resentment. When

0:53:34.000 --> 0:53:37.000
<v Speaker 2>somebody is using weaponized incompetence the person who then is

0:53:37.080 --> 0:53:39.040
<v Speaker 2>left to do the job, It embeds in you that

0:53:39.120 --> 0:53:41.759
<v Speaker 2>you can't trust your partner to do a job well,

0:53:41.920 --> 0:53:43.840
<v Speaker 2>so you end up taking on that task as well.

0:53:44.000 --> 0:53:48.080
<v Speaker 1>So how do we turn weaponized incompetence into competence? That

0:53:48.320 --> 0:53:50.840
<v Speaker 1>is the billion lock question.

0:53:51.400 --> 0:53:52.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think the biggest one, and something we

0:53:52.920 --> 0:53:55.440
<v Speaker 2>always come back to you is like communication. Communication is

0:53:55.520 --> 0:53:58.560
<v Speaker 2>key explaining the why around the way that you want

0:53:58.600 --> 0:54:01.360
<v Speaker 2>something to be done is so import I think this

0:54:01.520 --> 0:54:05.480
<v Speaker 2>could work if somebody that you're with doesn't pick up

0:54:05.520 --> 0:54:08.400
<v Speaker 2>the slack, like stop doing those things for that. If

0:54:08.400 --> 0:54:10.239
<v Speaker 2>you're the one always getting up for the kids in

0:54:10.280 --> 0:54:12.680
<v Speaker 2>the night and the kids are screaming and you're laying

0:54:12.680 --> 0:54:15.600
<v Speaker 2>in bed and your partner's still asleep, lay there, the

0:54:15.640 --> 0:54:17.879
<v Speaker 2>kids will scream for a little while, he's gonna wake up,

0:54:17.920 --> 0:54:19.320
<v Speaker 2>Like they're gonna get up eventually.

0:54:19.480 --> 0:54:20.680
<v Speaker 1>I know people that have tried this.

0:54:20.800 --> 0:54:22.600
<v Speaker 3>Actually I don't know plenty of people that have tried

0:54:22.640 --> 0:54:24.319
<v Speaker 3>this whole I I'm just gonna stop doing it for them.

0:54:24.360 --> 0:54:25.759
<v Speaker 3>So like there were this and no one does it,

0:54:25.800 --> 0:54:27.160
<v Speaker 3>and no one does it, so like like you know,

0:54:27.160 --> 0:54:28.319
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna stop doing his washing.

0:54:28.320 --> 0:54:30.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna stop it. It just piles up and piles

0:54:30.480 --> 0:54:31.239
<v Speaker 1>up and piles up.

0:54:31.280 --> 0:54:33.399
<v Speaker 2>But they don't care. But that's like such a level

0:54:33.440 --> 0:54:34.160
<v Speaker 2>of disrespect.

0:54:34.440 --> 0:54:36.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm with you. I agree. You don't get to.

0:54:36.760 --> 0:54:39.480
<v Speaker 2>Just not care about something that your partner thinks is important.

0:54:39.520 --> 0:54:42.480
<v Speaker 2>If doing your laundry and basic hygiene is important, you

0:54:42.520 --> 0:54:44.520
<v Speaker 2>don't get to just opt out of not caring because

0:54:44.560 --> 0:54:45.880
<v Speaker 2>you know someone's going to do it for you.

0:54:45.960 --> 0:54:47.080
<v Speaker 3>I think there are a lot of people out there

0:54:47.120 --> 0:54:49.000
<v Speaker 3>that just don't care enough. That's what I think the

0:54:49.040 --> 0:54:50.960
<v Speaker 3>problem is. That's what it comes down to, Well, how

0:54:51.000 --> 0:54:51.720
<v Speaker 3>do you make okay?

0:54:52.080 --> 0:54:53.839
<v Speaker 2>And like, maybe that is the case, maybe there are

0:54:53.840 --> 0:54:56.800
<v Speaker 2>things that like I care about more than my partner,

0:54:57.080 --> 0:54:59.480
<v Speaker 2>how do you then change their opinion on something or

0:54:59.480 --> 0:55:01.880
<v Speaker 2>how do you then set the bar so you're like, well,

0:55:01.920 --> 0:55:03.640
<v Speaker 2>at least we can all live in this house in

0:55:03.680 --> 0:55:05.200
<v Speaker 2>a way where I'm not doing one hundred percent of

0:55:05.200 --> 0:55:06.719
<v Speaker 2>the work and we are all living in a house

0:55:06.719 --> 0:55:08.560
<v Speaker 2>that's semi clean, like you just said.

0:55:08.680 --> 0:55:12.640
<v Speaker 3>Besides communication literally saying we need to meet halfway, which

0:55:12.680 --> 0:55:16.040
<v Speaker 3>I cannot imagine, there is one relationship out there in

0:55:16.080 --> 0:55:18.279
<v Speaker 3>this whole world that has never had that conversation. I

0:55:18.520 --> 0:55:20.520
<v Speaker 3>feel like, once you've had kids, it doesn't matter how

0:55:20.520 --> 0:55:22.840
<v Speaker 3>great your relationship, there is always going to be an

0:55:22.840 --> 0:55:25.279
<v Speaker 3>imbalance of work or a level of frustration of people

0:55:25.280 --> 0:55:27.200
<v Speaker 3>saying it doesn't matter how much other partners going to do,

0:55:27.200 --> 0:55:28.600
<v Speaker 3>there's always gonna be a moment where you're like, you're

0:55:28.600 --> 0:55:30.160
<v Speaker 3>not doing enough. You need to help me more, you

0:55:30.200 --> 0:55:32.759
<v Speaker 3>need to meet me halfway. Maybe you can literally and

0:55:32.840 --> 0:55:36.479
<v Speaker 3>like you can write a list of what you guys

0:55:36.520 --> 0:55:37.359
<v Speaker 3>need to do that week.

0:55:37.440 --> 0:55:40.000
<v Speaker 1>This is Bill's list, this is Betty's list.

0:55:40.200 --> 0:55:41.600
<v Speaker 3>You stick it on the fridge, you tick it off

0:55:41.640 --> 0:55:43.040
<v Speaker 3>as you go, this is what I need done today,

0:55:43.080 --> 0:55:45.279
<v Speaker 3>whether it's a daily thing or weekly thing. And you

0:55:45.440 --> 0:55:47.440
<v Speaker 3>just instead of it saying I didn't know I was

0:55:47.480 --> 0:55:49.600
<v Speaker 3>supposed to do that, which is an excuse that a

0:55:49.600 --> 0:55:50.680
<v Speaker 3>lot of people a going to use. I didn't I

0:55:50.719 --> 0:55:52.040
<v Speaker 3>was supposed to do that, or I thought I did

0:55:52.040 --> 0:55:53.560
<v Speaker 3>that last week, or I thought you'd doing that this week.

0:55:53.719 --> 0:55:55.560
<v Speaker 3>Make it clear, Make it so that there is no

0:55:55.680 --> 0:55:57.000
<v Speaker 3>question who's doing what.

0:55:56.960 --> 0:55:58.879
<v Speaker 1>When they're doing it, why they're doing it. It's here.

0:55:58.960 --> 0:56:00.560
<v Speaker 1>You tick it off as you go halfway.

0:56:01.040 --> 0:56:02.719
<v Speaker 2>I think my only thing with like the making of

0:56:02.760 --> 0:56:05.279
<v Speaker 2>a list is that everything you do to solve this

0:56:05.360 --> 0:56:08.200
<v Speaker 2>problem has to be mutual. You have to sit down

0:56:08.239 --> 0:56:10.360
<v Speaker 2>and do it together. It can't be like you making

0:56:10.400 --> 0:56:12.399
<v Speaker 2>your partner a list of things that they need to do,

0:56:12.480 --> 0:56:15.359
<v Speaker 2>because then you're still adding to your own task load

0:56:15.440 --> 0:56:17.399
<v Speaker 2>by giving by having to write a list. Like that's

0:56:17.440 --> 0:56:19.000
<v Speaker 2>another thing you've got to do each week, is writing

0:56:19.040 --> 0:56:19.680
<v Speaker 2>a fucking listener.

0:56:19.680 --> 0:56:21.160
<v Speaker 1>Just throw the reward at the end, like once you

0:56:21.160 --> 0:56:24.799
<v Speaker 1>can put your list you get laid, you don't have

0:56:24.920 --> 0:56:27.319
<v Speaker 1>a reward. Not great.

0:56:27.360 --> 0:56:31.120
<v Speaker 2>Everyone's got a pack of expired.

0:56:30.800 --> 0:56:32.680
<v Speaker 1>Condoms in the back, anyone.

0:56:34.080 --> 0:56:37.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think like definitely having those conversations, but also

0:56:38.440 --> 0:56:42.160
<v Speaker 2>ensuring that a minimum standard is set and then that

0:56:42.320 --> 0:56:44.480
<v Speaker 2>is like something that you both have to agree on

0:56:44.800 --> 0:56:48.359
<v Speaker 2>because you just can't be in a relationship like this.

0:56:48.640 --> 0:56:50.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I said, this sort of stuff builds so much resentment,

0:56:51.040 --> 0:56:54.120
<v Speaker 2>and all that happens is like as a as the

0:56:54.120 --> 0:56:57.040
<v Speaker 2>person who's the one taking on more tasks and more tasks,

0:56:57.200 --> 0:57:00.040
<v Speaker 2>you then become naggy and you become angry, and and

0:57:00.200 --> 0:57:03.960
<v Speaker 2>it's like you might snap over something that seems small,

0:57:04.120 --> 0:57:05.880
<v Speaker 2>like you might snap over the dishes and be like,

0:57:05.920 --> 0:57:08.080
<v Speaker 2>for fuck's sake, like I've asked you so many times.

0:57:08.239 --> 0:57:10.960
<v Speaker 2>But the thing is, it's like it's the constant eroding,

0:57:11.000 --> 0:57:13.040
<v Speaker 2>and it's the feeling of not being able to trust

0:57:13.080 --> 0:57:15.080
<v Speaker 2>that someone's going to do a task or that they're

0:57:15.120 --> 0:57:17.640
<v Speaker 2>just leaving everything to you, and that shit wears you

0:57:17.760 --> 0:57:18.520
<v Speaker 2>down over time.

0:57:18.680 --> 0:57:20.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I think in terms of Now I'm not

0:57:20.640 --> 0:57:21.960
<v Speaker 3>a parent, but I think in terms of what we

0:57:22.000 --> 0:57:22.520
<v Speaker 3>can do.

0:57:22.520 --> 0:57:23.160
<v Speaker 1>With our kids.

0:57:23.200 --> 0:57:25.480
<v Speaker 3>And I'm going to say this from experience, from my

0:57:25.720 --> 0:57:27.960
<v Speaker 3>relationship with my family and my parents growing up.

0:57:28.040 --> 0:57:30.400
<v Speaker 1>Like I said, as four of us kids, I.

0:57:30.320 --> 0:57:33.360
<v Speaker 3>Think that you can as a parent maybe not let

0:57:33.400 --> 0:57:35.680
<v Speaker 3>your child get away with as much in terms of

0:57:35.720 --> 0:57:38.680
<v Speaker 3>if your son says I don't want to do the washing,

0:57:38.800 --> 0:57:40.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how to do the washing.

0:57:40.440 --> 0:57:42.400
<v Speaker 1>You can teach, you'll learn and like it. Also not

0:57:42.480 --> 0:57:44.160
<v Speaker 1>a fla. Actually this is a flex. My parents did

0:57:44.240 --> 0:57:45.720
<v Speaker 1>such a great job with us kids.

0:57:45.760 --> 0:57:49.520
<v Speaker 3>In terms of gender roles, there is no gender role

0:57:49.520 --> 0:57:52.960
<v Speaker 3>in my family. My parents both do everything. My dad

0:57:53.080 --> 0:57:55.760
<v Speaker 3>is the main cook of my family. My dad cleans,

0:57:56.080 --> 0:57:58.080
<v Speaker 3>my mom does jobs when she needs to do them,

0:57:58.120 --> 0:58:00.040
<v Speaker 3>like there is no you should be doing this, so

0:58:00.080 --> 0:58:02.280
<v Speaker 3>I should be doing this. It's really really great. They

0:58:02.360 --> 0:58:04.560
<v Speaker 3>really instilled that in us as children. They made us

0:58:04.600 --> 0:58:06.600
<v Speaker 3>very independent. They made us be able to do all jobs,

0:58:06.600 --> 0:58:08.240
<v Speaker 3>which I'm so grateful for now.

0:58:08.320 --> 0:58:09.760
<v Speaker 1>But my older.

0:58:09.480 --> 0:58:13.120
<v Speaker 3>Brothers are probably the cooks in their family because they

0:58:13.120 --> 0:58:15.400
<v Speaker 3>really enjoy it. They were made to do that. Growing up,

0:58:15.440 --> 0:58:18.040
<v Speaker 3>we all just did everything. We never grew up thinking

0:58:18.040 --> 0:58:19.800
<v Speaker 3>that that was a boy's job, that was a man's job.

0:58:19.840 --> 0:58:20.760
<v Speaker 1>This is a woman's job.

0:58:21.360 --> 0:58:23.520
<v Speaker 3>And I can one hundred percent say as a child

0:58:23.680 --> 0:58:26.200
<v Speaker 3>watching my dad in the kitchen growing up cleaning and

0:58:26.200 --> 0:58:28.360
<v Speaker 3>watching my mum do jobs that need to be done

0:58:29.000 --> 0:58:33.840
<v Speaker 3>subconsciously just made me think that there weren't these stereotypical

0:58:33.920 --> 0:58:36.680
<v Speaker 3>gender roles. So I can say from experience that I

0:58:36.720 --> 0:58:38.600
<v Speaker 3>think that that had a lot of impact on me

0:58:38.680 --> 0:58:41.040
<v Speaker 3>as a child, without knowing that I took that into

0:58:41.040 --> 0:58:41.720
<v Speaker 3>my adulthood.

0:58:41.800 --> 0:58:44.720
<v Speaker 2>I think that is like, honestly, such the perfect point

0:58:44.760 --> 0:58:48.040
<v Speaker 2>to wrap up on it. It's so important. Weaponized incompetency

0:58:48.400 --> 0:58:52.040
<v Speaker 2>has such a severe impact on relationships between the couple,

0:58:52.360 --> 0:58:54.800
<v Speaker 2>but it also has such a severe impact on kids

0:58:54.840 --> 0:58:57.520
<v Speaker 2>because all it does is it perpetuates this cycle. It

0:58:57.640 --> 0:59:00.840
<v Speaker 2>raises a generation of boys who don't want to or

0:59:00.920 --> 0:59:03.680
<v Speaker 2>can't do the housework, and it raises a generation of

0:59:03.720 --> 0:59:07.880
<v Speaker 2>girls who also falls into that caretaker role. It falls

0:59:07.920 --> 0:59:10.600
<v Speaker 2>into the role of being the domesticated one in the household.

0:59:11.160 --> 0:59:13.520
<v Speaker 2>Like you said, if somebody in your family is doing this,

0:59:13.600 --> 0:59:15.720
<v Speaker 2>if this is something that's happening, and it doesn't just

0:59:15.840 --> 0:59:18.640
<v Speaker 2>have to be around gender, but obviously that is something

0:59:18.680 --> 0:59:21.480
<v Speaker 2>where it comes up more predominantly, But if this is

0:59:21.720 --> 0:59:24.480
<v Speaker 2>happening in your household, not just thinking about the impact

0:59:24.520 --> 0:59:26.560
<v Speaker 2>that it's having on you as a person. But what

0:59:26.600 --> 0:59:28.400
<v Speaker 2>is that saying to our children? What is that saying

0:59:28.440 --> 0:59:31.040
<v Speaker 2>to the way that they're going to raise their household

0:59:31.120 --> 0:59:32.760
<v Speaker 2>and how they're going to treat the people who they

0:59:32.840 --> 0:59:34.040
<v Speaker 2>love in their life as well?

0:59:34.080 --> 0:59:37.400
<v Speaker 3>And this cannot one hundred percent be the opposite role

0:59:37.520 --> 0:59:39.240
<v Speaker 3>that we're talking about. You could be in a relationship

0:59:39.280 --> 0:59:41.960
<v Speaker 3>right now where the man does most of it. He's cooking,

0:59:42.040 --> 0:59:44.600
<v Speaker 3>he's taking the kids everywhere, he's always home. Maybe the

0:59:44.600 --> 0:59:46.680
<v Speaker 3>partner wants to go out more. It doesn't have to

0:59:46.720 --> 0:59:49.240
<v Speaker 3>be man versus woman. It's not that at all. It's like,

0:59:49.320 --> 0:59:53.240
<v Speaker 3>whatever the dynamic is in your relationship. If somebody, one

0:59:53.280 --> 0:59:56.560
<v Speaker 3>person that relationships feels like they're being taken advantage of

0:59:56.720 --> 0:59:59.080
<v Speaker 3>or they're not meeting them halfway, then you have the conversation.

0:59:59.320 --> 1:00:02.240
<v Speaker 2>Well, I feel like we pretty much covered. If you

1:00:02.320 --> 1:00:04.720
<v Speaker 2>are somebody who's listening to this and you're experiencing this

1:00:04.800 --> 1:00:07.120
<v Speaker 2>in your relationship, like you will know like you will

1:00:07.160 --> 1:00:09.960
<v Speaker 2>relate to this. Yes, maybe it's a buzzword, having this

1:00:10.080 --> 1:00:13.800
<v Speaker 2>whole hashtag weaponized incompetence, but it's also really something that's

1:00:13.840 --> 1:00:16.880
<v Speaker 2>quite serious and does very much exist. Still as much

1:00:16.960 --> 1:00:19.600
<v Speaker 2>as we've progressed and we've come forward. There are still

1:00:19.760 --> 1:00:22.919
<v Speaker 2>a lot and very heavily skewed stereotypes and gender roles

1:00:22.960 --> 1:00:25.840
<v Speaker 2>in our households. All right, guys, you know that we

1:00:25.920 --> 1:00:28.840
<v Speaker 2>never finished an episode without our suck and our sweet,

1:00:28.840 --> 1:00:32.200
<v Speaker 2>our highlight and our lowlight of each and every week.

1:00:32.280 --> 1:00:37.160
<v Speaker 1>Brittany, what is your suck? You can go first my suck.

1:00:37.440 --> 1:00:40.120
<v Speaker 3>This week I had a bloody great week. I would

1:00:40.200 --> 1:00:41.800
<v Speaker 3>like to start with that, but.

1:00:41.720 --> 1:00:43.000
<v Speaker 1>You don't have to have a suck. If it was

1:00:43.040 --> 1:00:44.440
<v Speaker 1>a fucking I don't know. I still do, but it

1:00:44.480 --> 1:00:47.240
<v Speaker 1>was a great week. Now older I get, I get

1:00:47.680 --> 1:00:52.320
<v Speaker 1>more motion sickness. So I never used to be motion sick.

1:00:52.400 --> 1:00:53.600
<v Speaker 1>Sherry was always sick.

1:00:53.600 --> 1:00:55.960
<v Speaker 3>You could push Sherry, you could swivel her around on

1:00:56.000 --> 1:00:58.040
<v Speaker 3>an office chair and should vomit from motion sickness. She's

1:00:58.120 --> 1:01:01.040
<v Speaker 3>vomited always on all transport. I've always been fine. But

1:01:01.080 --> 1:01:03.640
<v Speaker 3>the older I'm getting, I start to get car sick,

1:01:03.640 --> 1:01:06.720
<v Speaker 3>I start to get playing sick. Anyway, this week we

1:01:06.720 --> 1:01:08.880
<v Speaker 3>were trying to go on a hike up north. We

1:01:08.880 --> 1:01:11.800
<v Speaker 3>were on this really windy road and I vomited twice.

1:01:11.840 --> 1:01:13.680
<v Speaker 3>So that was my suck. I just can't be in

1:01:13.680 --> 1:01:15.720
<v Speaker 3>a car anymore. If I'm not driving, you also need

1:01:15.760 --> 1:01:17.600
<v Speaker 3>to get off your phone in a car. Not even

1:01:17.640 --> 1:01:19.880
<v Speaker 3>it's not it's been. It's been a real thing. I

1:01:19.920 --> 1:01:21.560
<v Speaker 3>know I can't go on my phone anymore because I

1:01:21.560 --> 1:01:23.720
<v Speaker 3>get sick. But this was just it's beyond me. Nothing

1:01:23.720 --> 1:01:24.200
<v Speaker 3>can stop me.

1:01:24.240 --> 1:01:24.400
<v Speaker 1>Now.

1:01:24.400 --> 1:01:28.000
<v Speaker 3>If I'm not driving, I will one hundred percent feel nauseous,

1:01:28.000 --> 1:01:28.360
<v Speaker 3>and I.

1:01:28.320 --> 1:01:30.560
<v Speaker 1>Don't know how to combat that.

1:01:30.560 --> 1:01:31.600
<v Speaker 2>That's where you come in the front.

1:01:32.200 --> 1:01:32.920
<v Speaker 1>That's in the front.

1:01:33.160 --> 1:01:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Wow, Ginger, it's a very windy hill a travel car.

1:01:37.040 --> 1:01:39.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna have to keep it on me start popping it.

1:01:39.560 --> 1:01:41.320
<v Speaker 3>My sweet for the week was I spent the week

1:01:41.400 --> 1:01:42.400
<v Speaker 3>with my sister Sherry.

1:01:42.440 --> 1:01:46.360
<v Speaker 1>We went wedding dress shopping, not for myself anyone. Sherry's

1:01:46.400 --> 1:01:47.720
<v Speaker 1>getting married to.

1:01:47.800 --> 1:01:50.600
<v Speaker 3>Jay fiance, who I absolutely adore. Could not think of

1:01:50.640 --> 1:01:52.560
<v Speaker 3>a better person for her to marry. I love him

1:01:52.760 --> 1:01:55.760
<v Speaker 3>and I love her, and it was just really she's

1:01:55.800 --> 1:01:58.080
<v Speaker 3>the youngest of all four kids and she's getting married first,

1:01:58.080 --> 1:02:00.880
<v Speaker 3>and it was a really weird feeling to see her

1:02:01.240 --> 1:02:02.600
<v Speaker 3>in trying to address him.

1:02:02.720 --> 1:02:03.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I was just a bit.

1:02:04.400 --> 1:02:05.840
<v Speaker 3>I was very I was a very proud moment, a

1:02:05.920 --> 1:02:07.680
<v Speaker 3>very big sister moment, a very like why the fuck

1:02:07.680 --> 1:02:08.760
<v Speaker 3>aren't I getting married moment?

1:02:08.960 --> 1:02:10.480
<v Speaker 1>But did you feel sad?

1:02:10.520 --> 1:02:12.320
<v Speaker 2>Like was there a part of you that was like, wow,

1:02:12.360 --> 1:02:14.360
<v Speaker 2>this is weird, or you just like overwhelmed?

1:02:14.360 --> 1:02:16.520
<v Speaker 1>But I one hundred percent did not feel sad.

1:02:16.760 --> 1:02:19.480
<v Speaker 3>That'll probably come later, maybe like why why ant I

1:02:19.520 --> 1:02:22.200
<v Speaker 3>married yet? But there's no part of me that he's sad.

1:02:22.280 --> 1:02:25.000
<v Speaker 3>Everything is about Sherry. I'm so excited to see her

1:02:25.360 --> 1:02:29.080
<v Speaker 3>get married, and I think, knowing how bloody good of

1:02:29.080 --> 1:02:32.360
<v Speaker 3>a man he is, I cannot I cannot fault him.

1:02:32.720 --> 1:02:35.160
<v Speaker 3>So I just I'm so and like, you know, I'll

1:02:35.200 --> 1:02:36.080
<v Speaker 3>tell that story another day.

1:02:36.080 --> 1:02:37.080
<v Speaker 1>But I picked him for her.

1:02:37.120 --> 1:02:38.920
<v Speaker 3>Now that sounds like an arranged marriage, but it is not.

1:02:39.000 --> 1:02:41.400
<v Speaker 3>But that's a story for another day. I from day one,

1:02:41.440 --> 1:02:43.120
<v Speaker 3>I just knew he was gonna be amazing. So yeah,

1:02:43.160 --> 1:02:44.560
<v Speaker 3>so that was my sway for the week.

1:02:44.920 --> 1:02:47.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, my suck for the week this week. Now, I

1:02:47.880 --> 1:02:50.560
<v Speaker 2>did mention earlier on an earlier episode that we took

1:02:50.600 --> 1:02:53.240
<v Speaker 2>Gastro with us to Brisbane. We just spent the week.

1:02:53.280 --> 1:02:55.000
<v Speaker 1>You probably gave that to me. That's probably why I

1:02:55.120 --> 1:02:56.240
<v Speaker 1>was it probably.

1:02:56.000 --> 1:02:58.040
<v Speaker 2>Is so Britt went to Nousa, I went to Brisbane

1:02:58.080 --> 1:03:00.120
<v Speaker 2>to spend it with Matt's family. We were trying to

1:03:00.120 --> 1:03:01.800
<v Speaker 2>make up for the Christmas that we had that was

1:03:01.960 --> 1:03:04.840
<v Speaker 2>COVID Christmas, since our Christmas was canceled. It was Matt's

1:03:04.880 --> 1:03:09.680
<v Speaker 2>mum's seventieth birthday. Now we arrived in Brisbane, we brought Gastro,

1:03:09.800 --> 1:03:12.000
<v Speaker 2>So Matt's mum pretty much, I was not so kind

1:03:12.040 --> 1:03:12.200
<v Speaker 2>of you.

1:03:12.440 --> 1:03:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I know.

1:03:12.800 --> 1:03:15.000
<v Speaker 2>We bought her like a very nice seventieth birthday present

1:03:15.040 --> 1:03:17.959
<v Speaker 2>and gastro. We were there for like twenty four forty

1:03:18.000 --> 1:03:19.640
<v Speaker 2>eight hours and then she got it, so she was

1:03:19.720 --> 1:03:22.120
<v Speaker 2>wiped out, sick and vomiting. And then we had to

1:03:22.160 --> 1:03:24.600
<v Speaker 2>go to Straybroke Island, so we brought her, We bundled

1:03:24.600 --> 1:03:26.160
<v Speaker 2>her in the car. We took it as Strade Broke.

1:03:26.440 --> 1:03:28.360
<v Speaker 2>We got to the island and Matt's brothers came and

1:03:28.400 --> 1:03:31.240
<v Speaker 2>joined us, and by then everybody well seemingly was over it,

1:03:31.720 --> 1:03:36.000
<v Speaker 2>except we weren't over it. We infected Matt's entire family

1:03:36.120 --> 1:03:39.280
<v Speaker 2>with gastro. And there was one moment there on Friday

1:03:39.360 --> 1:03:41.840
<v Speaker 2>night where there are not enough toilets. Dude, I'm not

1:03:41.920 --> 1:03:44.120
<v Speaker 2>even joking. It was like a black comedy, like it

1:03:44.160 --> 1:03:46.080
<v Speaker 2>was like a scene out of the movie in the

1:03:46.160 --> 1:03:49.360
<v Speaker 2>space of like at the exact same moment, one boy

1:03:49.600 --> 1:03:51.800
<v Speaker 2>ran to the bathroom. The other one went to run

1:03:51.800 --> 1:03:53.520
<v Speaker 2>to the bathroom, but then ran down the stairs because

1:03:53.520 --> 1:03:57.280
<v Speaker 2>the other bathroom was downstairs. Millie, who's my niece, vomited

1:03:57.320 --> 1:04:01.280
<v Speaker 2>into a sick bucket, Charlotte vomited onto a plate of pizza,

1:04:01.760 --> 1:04:04.640
<v Speaker 2>and then Matt's other brother had to run outside to

1:04:04.680 --> 1:04:07.280
<v Speaker 2>the other toilet. There was five people in the house

1:04:08.120 --> 1:04:10.120
<v Speaker 2>that same time, either vomiting or.

1:04:10.160 --> 1:04:11.640
<v Speaker 1>PERI It's like my worst nightmare.

1:04:11.840 --> 1:04:14.520
<v Speaker 2>It was like Helen Earth. Anyway, the holiday was great

1:04:14.640 --> 1:04:17.000
<v Speaker 2>because we didn't get gastro. Like I didn't get it,

1:04:17.040 --> 1:04:19.400
<v Speaker 2>but like everybody else got gastro, so that's kind of

1:04:19.440 --> 1:04:25.560
<v Speaker 2>not fun. Kid's just so gross and disgusting, preachy, little

1:04:25.840 --> 1:04:29.320
<v Speaker 2>disgusting Petrie dishes of sickness. So that happened, which was

1:04:29.320 --> 1:04:32.440
<v Speaker 2>a real dampner on the whole trip away. But anyway,

1:04:32.920 --> 1:04:35.000
<v Speaker 2>we got away, so that was good. And the highlight

1:04:35.320 --> 1:04:39.600
<v Speaker 2>was I love Stradbroke Island. It is so beautiful. It

1:04:39.720 --> 1:04:41.920
<v Speaker 2>was so nice to see Matt's mum. I just love

1:04:42.000 --> 1:04:45.320
<v Speaker 2>her so much, and I like, really, I absolutely won

1:04:45.480 --> 1:04:49.400
<v Speaker 2>the mother in law, lottery. She's amazing, amazing, Like she's

1:04:49.520 --> 1:04:52.080
<v Speaker 2>as good. I got two amazing things. I got Matt, oh,

1:04:52.120 --> 1:04:54.959
<v Speaker 2>I got three. I got kids, love gastro, I got kids,

1:04:55.000 --> 1:04:56.880
<v Speaker 2>I got Matt, I got a mother in law. You

1:04:56.880 --> 1:04:59.080
<v Speaker 2>know what it was. Sometimes I look back on like

1:04:59.120 --> 1:05:01.120
<v Speaker 2>all my failed relationship and I'm like, that was all

1:05:01.160 --> 1:05:01.680
<v Speaker 2>for a reason.

1:05:02.040 --> 1:05:04.160
<v Speaker 1>Hey, guys, that is it from us.

1:05:04.320 --> 1:05:06.560
<v Speaker 2>We hope that you love the episode. This felt like

1:05:06.560 --> 1:05:09.160
<v Speaker 2>a really nostalgic episode because it was just you, May,

1:05:09.240 --> 1:05:11.440
<v Speaker 2>Britt and the microphones.

1:05:11.680 --> 1:05:12.800
<v Speaker 1>So nostalgic.

1:05:13.000 --> 1:05:14.600
<v Speaker 3>It's been a while since we've just done an episode

1:05:14.600 --> 1:05:15.720
<v Speaker 3>with a with a few.

1:05:15.520 --> 1:05:16.680
<v Speaker 1>Of us, with just the two of us.

1:05:16.720 --> 1:05:18.240
<v Speaker 3>It's been a while since we've done an episode with

1:05:18.280 --> 1:05:19.680
<v Speaker 3>just the two of us, so that was really nice.

1:05:19.680 --> 1:05:22.040
<v Speaker 1>But guys, before we wrap up, we are going.

1:05:21.800 --> 1:05:24.240
<v Speaker 3>To be playing Dylan's entire song at the end of

1:05:24.280 --> 1:05:26.040
<v Speaker 3>the episode, so if you wanted to listen to that through,

1:05:26.080 --> 1:05:28.000
<v Speaker 3>it is really really beautiful. We hope you guys have

1:05:28.040 --> 1:05:30.480
<v Speaker 3>an amazing week. Keep sliding into the dms with accidentally

1:05:30.520 --> 1:05:34.040
<v Speaker 3>Unfiltered Confessionals. Can't believe they said that usk gun cuts.

1:05:34.120 --> 1:05:37.200
<v Speaker 2>Make sure that you jump onto Apple podcasts or on Spotify,

1:05:37.520 --> 1:05:40.520
<v Speaker 2>leave us a cheeky review. If you have been listening

1:05:40.920 --> 1:05:43.560
<v Speaker 2>to the podcast and you have not yet reviewed us,

1:05:43.680 --> 1:05:45.520
<v Speaker 2>how dare you go and do it?

1:05:45.720 --> 1:05:48.000
<v Speaker 3>Don't forget to watch the Tinder swind Like because we

1:05:48.080 --> 1:05:50.840
<v Speaker 3>have a very very exciting episode coming for you next

1:05:50.840 --> 1:05:53.120
<v Speaker 3>week and you're going to wish you watched it.

1:05:53.200 --> 1:05:55.160
<v Speaker 2>Yes, it is your homework for the week.

1:05:55.360 --> 1:05:57.960
<v Speaker 3>And on that note, tell your mum, to your dad,

1:05:58.000 --> 1:05:59.439
<v Speaker 3>tell you dog, tell your friends.

1:05:59.120 --> 1:06:00.800
<v Speaker 1>And share the love because.

1:06:00.840 --> 1:06:01.800
<v Speaker 5>We love lived.

1:06:02.840 --> 1:06:07.080
<v Speaker 4>If there's something I've got to say, but I'm hold

1:06:07.160 --> 1:06:12.480
<v Speaker 4>him back, I'm hard him back. Been plaking me for

1:06:12.720 --> 1:06:17.360
<v Speaker 4>weeks now, but I'm hold him back, I'm put him back,

1:06:18.560 --> 1:06:27.760
<v Speaker 4>and I'm wet yo. Forget my heart. So there you

1:06:27.920 --> 1:06:32.160
<v Speaker 4>something that I'm trying to say, but it won't come out.

1:06:32.520 --> 1:06:38.320
<v Speaker 4>It won't come up. Try to get the due day,

1:06:38.600 --> 1:06:43.200
<v Speaker 4>but it won't come up. It won't come up. Then

1:06:43.360 --> 1:06:44.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm wet yo.

1:06:46.520 --> 1:06:51.000
<v Speaker 5>I want to sing that's John and now I'm in.

1:06:54.480 --> 1:07:11.360
<v Speaker 6>I'm in I'm in, I'm in love, up, arm in love, I'm.

1:07:11.320 --> 1:07:20.040
<v Speaker 5>In arm in love. I'm in love.

1:07:21.320 --> 1:07:36.400
<v Speaker 4>Love not just a furbug and nomie used. It's changing

1:07:36.560 --> 1:07:41.720
<v Speaker 4>my views the things at dude, like a summer to

1:07:41.840 --> 1:07:44.880
<v Speaker 4>your perfect food. It's changing my.

1:07:44.960 --> 1:07:46.800
<v Speaker 5>Mood, changing my mood.

1:07:48.000 --> 1:07:53.840
<v Speaker 4>When I'm mad, there's nothing I can't do.

1:07:55.440 --> 1:08:00.480
<v Speaker 5>Nom love a man.

1:08:03.600 --> 1:08:16.639
<v Speaker 6>All I'm in love U almyllo, I mean.

1:08:19.880 --> 1:08:25.120
<v Speaker 5>All a laugh.

1:08:29.240 --> 1:08:33.559
<v Speaker 4>It's been so damn mom, it's been so dem I

1:08:33.680 --> 1:08:37.800
<v Speaker 4>must be mom, I must be mom. But when you

1:08:37.920 --> 1:08:41.240
<v Speaker 4>step into the room, I'm like did I with a

1:08:41.920 --> 1:08:48.360
<v Speaker 4>love bl so heasily get dead. He's so up with

1:08:49.760 --> 1:08:50.639
<v Speaker 4>just get me off.

1:08:51.280 --> 1:08:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Le's get you.

1:08:53.680 --> 1:08:55.160
<v Speaker 4>But when you took back in on.

1:08:55.320 --> 1:09:21.280
<v Speaker 5>The mommy love, momy loved, I loved almy love. I'm

1:09:21.479 --> 1:09:31.680
<v Speaker 5>in love. I loved, I loved or