1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 1: Well and Woody podcast many right now though, third A 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: one oh six or five? Why can't you be friends 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 1: with your ex? I really am interested. Darren Hayes has 4 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: just split with his husband of seventeen years, and he 5 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,319 Speaker 1: said that there's absolutely no beef between them. He's and 6 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: I quote, we are still best friends and we always 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: will be. And I think, look, they were together for 8 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: seventeen years, and I suppose that's the question for me 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: is like you, you've managed to in some cases live 10 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: with someone really harmoniously for a long time, and then 11 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,880 Speaker 1: all of a sudden you can't stand the site of someone. 12 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: And I'm just trying to get down to why that is. 13 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: I can give you because we're taking calls right now 14 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: from people who have just been through breakups. Because this 15 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,879 Speaker 1: is the test for me, because you know, everyone in 16 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: this studio is talking about breakup with hindsight. I think 17 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: that's different. We're cooled down, We're going, oh, yeah, that 18 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: wouldn't be so bad. I think I could possibly do that. 19 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 1: But I want to get into the head of somebody 20 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: who has just split up with someone. All Right, we've 21 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: got Molly here, Molly, you've just gone through a breakup. Yeah, 22 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: and absolutely couldn't be friends. Okay, so that was the breakup. 23 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: Really nasty, moly, don't if you go on to specifics 24 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 1: if you don't want to, but not nasty, but really 25 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: sad and hurtful. So to be friends is just too 26 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: painful and we'd never be able to move on. We're 27 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: still friends? Is that because one of you is still 28 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: in love with the other one? Oh, I saw, it's 29 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: a little bit complicated. I think that's yes, all right, interesting, okay, okay, thanks? 30 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: Well painful yeah, okay, too painful, too much pain all right? No, 31 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 1: And I think and we were just discussing in the 32 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 1: song there. I'll accept that as one of the reasons 33 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: you can't be friends if one of you is I 34 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: think one of the clean reasons are yes, one of 35 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: you is clearly has more feelings than the other one. 36 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: The other option here is geologically, if you move apart 37 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: and you leave each other's friendship group, you know, it's 38 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: just too hard to rekindle that. Sure, but if you're 39 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: still in each other's lives, I think you should be 40 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: able to carry on. I just like just on the 41 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: on the on the value because I'll give it on 42 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: a theory here as a philosopher. A guy called Elaine 43 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,079 Speaker 1: de Boton who runs the School of Life, and I've 44 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: said this on air before, but his theory is that 45 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: the site of your ex, the reason that you can't 46 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: stand the site of your ex let me imagine one 47 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:25,079 Speaker 1: go on, yeah, is because it reminds you of the 48 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 1: fact that they will want everything to you and they're 49 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: now nothing, and that that pure fact is everything. So 50 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: when you see them, you go, oh, my god, that's 51 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: really scary. I used to think you're the world and 52 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: then in a day it evaporated, and it reminds you 53 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: of the fact that that could happen with your current partner, 54 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: and that is too scary to face. That's what he says. 55 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: So that's why he thinks. That's why he thinks he 56 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 1: can't be friends with your ex. Melissa, Am I going 57 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 1: to Melissa? Yes, Melissa, Hey, Emily, how long ago was 58 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: the breakup? Let's start with that we're talking about it 59 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: was sixteen years ago, because I'm with my partner now 60 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: ten years okay. It was a messy breakup of family 61 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,639 Speaker 1: and was thrown out the door and stuck. Okay, but 62 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 1: a lot of water under the bridge over sixteen years 63 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:18,919 Speaker 1: your mates with them. Yes, we will make well afterwards. 64 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:25,399 Speaker 1: The new partner didn't like us being friends and okay, okay, 65 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: that's another blurry area. Isn't probably fair enough? And your 66 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: current partner put in a ex sub section D I 67 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 1: think so there's a lot of reasons except the rule 68 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: they're coming in and far I have to accept that 69 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: one as well. I think that's fair enough. Okay, if 70 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: your current partner goes, I'm uncomfortable with you seeking out 71 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: catchups with your ex. You got to go totally fair 72 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: or do you go, hey, mate, that's your issue, don't 73 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: you Why are you jealous about that? Like trust in 74 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: the fact that we've that this relationship is strong enough. 75 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: There's nothing going on there your current partner involved. I'd 76 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: say what I'm saying going if you're if you're going 77 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 1: to catch up with your ex, go hey, I want 78 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: my current partner to car that has to happen and 79 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: if one thing leads to another thing, no knows, but 80 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: let's go to perfection. On thirty one and six five 81 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: are talking you should be able to be friends with 82 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:22,359 Speaker 1: your ex. What do you think? Wow? I mean that 83 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: was a very good segue because we introduced a third 84 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: party to the relationship. She ran away with the third party. 85 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 1: Oh no, she why she why she's I was going 86 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: to say she snatched her, which works on a number 87 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: of metals him. More of the boys on the Full 88 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: Show podcast, All on the iHeartRadio app. Oh, where me 89 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 1: get your podcasts?