WEBVTT - MINI: Is building resilience THAT important for a 4 year old?

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<v Speaker 1>For it's something I've spoken to you about a little bit,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's honestly taken over my life. In the last

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<v Speaker 1>couple of weeks is that Lola has started. So Lola's

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<v Speaker 1>four years old now almost it's a birthday in a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of weeks time she comes.

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<v Speaker 2>Around quick, Oh, it's crazy, I just had a birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>Came I thought I literally just gave birth to it.

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<v Speaker 1>How is she for? She's she just started a new

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<v Speaker 1>daycare and it shouldn't be a big deal. I know

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<v Speaker 1>that sometimes transitioning to a new daycare can be a

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<v Speaker 1>bit tricky and kids take a little while to adjust,

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<v Speaker 1>but she she's been going to her old daycare for

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<v Speaker 1>almost three and a half years, and I think we

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<v Speaker 1>completely underestimated just how hard this transition was going to be.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's been three weeks now and it doesn't feel

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<v Speaker 1>like it is getting any easier. What I mean by

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<v Speaker 1>that is is we're at the stage now that when

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<v Speaker 1>I drop her off before work in the morning or

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<v Speaker 1>I pick her up after work, she's screaming, crying, she

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<v Speaker 1>is holding onto the car seat, and it's really it

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<v Speaker 1>escalates when she's at home, so she can kind of

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes be okay. When I get her into the daycare,

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<v Speaker 1>it's the crying Mummy, please don't send me back to

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<v Speaker 1>school the next day, and waking up in the nighttime

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<v Speaker 1>begging to not go to school. And I actually do

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<v Speaker 1>not know how to manage this transition.

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<v Speaker 2>I know that you know the daycare, but there's got

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<v Speaker 2>to be a part of you that's like, why don't

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<v Speaker 2>you want to go to school? Like has she spoken

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<v Speaker 2>about it?

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<v Speaker 1>Like no, I don't want to catastrophize. It's nothing to

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<v Speaker 1>do with the daycare, Like the daycare is great. It's

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<v Speaker 1>just to do with it being new and being unfamiliar,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, it's scary being in a new place

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<v Speaker 1>and having to process making all new friends, and Mummy's

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<v Speaker 1>not here, and there's just been so much change for her,

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<v Speaker 1>Like Dad's not home because he's in the jungle. His

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<v Speaker 1>sister has just started at vacation care school. They used

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<v Speaker 1>to go together, and so now she's just had all

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<v Speaker 1>this change happen at the one time, and I just

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<v Speaker 1>don't I almost think it's been too much for her

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<v Speaker 1>in one go. And I want to talk about this

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<v Speaker 1>because I know that we're coming up to school drop offs,

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<v Speaker 1>and like school starting back, and so many parents who

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<v Speaker 1>either have kids who are in kindergarten or parents who

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<v Speaker 1>have gone through this period of trying to get their

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<v Speaker 1>children ready for preschool or whatever. And there is nothing

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<v Speaker 1>more heartbreaking than dropping your kid off somewhere and having

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<v Speaker 1>them crying for you. And you've got to hold it together.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got it because you've got to be the strong

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<v Speaker 1>one who's trying to show them everything's okay. And you

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<v Speaker 1>do it as a mum. You hold it all together,

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<v Speaker 1>and then you get in the car and you cry

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<v Speaker 1>in the car because you can't cry in front of them.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's almost this impossible situation where I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I have to go to work. I don't have a

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<v Speaker 1>choice about that. Yeah, but I also don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>be leaving my child to be crying at daycare by

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<v Speaker 1>yourself because you just feel like you're doing such a

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<v Speaker 1>terrible job. And I guess the question is you know

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<v Speaker 1>that it's normal for kids not to love change, and

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<v Speaker 1>it takes them a little minute to assimilate into their

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<v Speaker 1>new environment. But then on the other hand, we're always

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<v Speaker 1>told that kids are really malleable and they accept change

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<v Speaker 1>pretty well pretty quickly.

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<v Speaker 2>So the question that you have to ask yourself. I

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<v Speaker 2>guess is like, how long do you wait of the

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<v Speaker 2>crying before you say, you know what, she's not going

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<v Speaker 2>to a and I take her back to the old daycare.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, this is the big question, right, I'm like, is

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<v Speaker 1>this just resilience building? Is this something that we should

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<v Speaker 1>just suck it up and she will eventually get over

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<v Speaker 1>it and be okay because we know the school is

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<v Speaker 1>a fantastic school, Or do you care even go okay,

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<v Speaker 1>We'll go back to the old daycare because you were

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<v Speaker 1>just so happy and it was so easy when you

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<v Speaker 1>were there. I don't know. I genuinely don't have the answers,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't know whether a three almost four year

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<v Speaker 1>old needs this type of resilience building. I almost think

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<v Speaker 1>it's too much for them.

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<v Speaker 2>Believe it or not. I also don't know, But we

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<v Speaker 2>do have this amazing woman, Michelle Mitchell. She's a parent

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<v Speaker 2>and expert, she's a friend of the show. We've spoken

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<v Speaker 2>to her before. I think we get her on next

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<v Speaker 2>week and actually ask, because this is a really big

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<v Speaker 2>decision that you need to make in the next week

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<v Speaker 2>or two. And I think it's great that we can

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<v Speaker 2>get some advice from Michelle.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and also for any other parents who are going

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<v Speaker 1>through the same thing. It's truly heartbreaking. It's a really

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<v Speaker 1>hard time to know whether you're doing the right thing

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<v Speaker 1>by your kid. The last thing we want to do

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<v Speaker 1>is be causing permanent damage.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, we're thinking of Lola this week. Anyway, I'm glad

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<v Speaker 2>you get Monday off with it.