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Speaker 1: Kylie came to me the other day and said, we

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Speaker 1: need to do what your child needs for Christmas this

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Speaker 1: year podcast episode. Kylie told me that she had come

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Speaker 1: up with two things beginning with pe that our children

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Speaker 1: need and wanted to do an episode about that. So

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Speaker 1: I come up with a couple of peace as well.

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited to share my peace for Christmas. Four

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Speaker 1: things your children need for Christmas, beginning with pea because

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Speaker 1: alliteration is fun, Kylie, We're going to go one on one.

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Speaker 1: You first, then me, what was your first pee?

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Speaker 2: Look, I don't know what you've got in mind, but

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Speaker 2: you won't find any of my gifts under the tree

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Speaker 2: that you can't wrap them, you can't buy them right,

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Speaker 2: But I think they will bring a lot more joy

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Speaker 2: to your Christmas experience.

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Speaker 1: So, now, while you're talking about your first pee for

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Speaker 1: Christmas that is apparently not under the tree, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to rewrite my other two piece because the.

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Speaker 2: Kids do not need penguins.

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Speaker 1: What's your first one?

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Speaker 2: Peace? I think back to all of the experiences that

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Speaker 2: we've had over the years with Christmas and the amount

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Speaker 2: of stress and strain parents put on themselves to provide

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Speaker 2: this perfect experience for our kids, and I think that

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Speaker 2: as I've thought back on those experiences, I have spent

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Speaker 2: more Christmases exhausted or grumpy because I'm exhausted as a

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Speaker 2: result of trying to create that perfect space. What our

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Speaker 2: kids actually need is this stress free environment where Mum

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Speaker 2: and Dad are actually joyful in the experience instead of

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Speaker 2: being worried about making sure the creamberulet is fired up

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Speaker 2: or whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: I love that you said, Crimbla. I don't think we've

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Speaker 1: ever had crembla for Christmas ever, I am.

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Speaker 2: Thinking about it. I would really like some about now.

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Speaker 1: This is beautiful and I'm pretty sure everyone would agree

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Speaker 1: with the concept, but it doesn't feel practical because there's

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Speaker 1: family coming to visitor. We've got to go to families homes.

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Speaker 1: The kids wake up and they make a lot of

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Speaker 1: noise and there's anything but peace. And I don't know

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Speaker 1: if the kids want things to be peaceful.

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Speaker 2: Peaceful, and I'm not suggesting it needs to be quiet,

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Speaker 2: and I'm going to use the word reverence.

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Speaker 1: By the way, I like the idea of a peaceful

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Speaker 1: Christmas Day with six kids. I think pleasing quite it's nice.

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Speaker 2: You don't need to take the word peace. Literally, I'm

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Speaker 2: not suggesting you need to be quiet and hushed and

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Speaker 2: all of that kind of stuff, but it's an opportunity

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Speaker 2: to let go of all of the anks, all of

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Speaker 2: the worry, all of the stresses, and just be together

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Speaker 2: in that moment. You can make as much noise as

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Speaker 2: you want.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, very good. Now. I know I said we're

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Speaker 1: going to go you me, you me, but I'm really

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Speaker 1: interested in what your second one is. And I'm the

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Speaker 1: one pushing the buttons. So what's what's your second one?

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Speaker 2: It's a little bit ciliche.

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Speaker 1: We've all heard it before.

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Speaker 2: Our kids need our presence, not presence, okay, And it

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Speaker 2: really taps in beautifully with my initial one of peace,

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Speaker 2: that acknowledgement that what they actually need is mum and

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Speaker 2: dad to be in the moment, present with each other,

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Speaker 2: instead of worrying about how many presents they've got under

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Speaker 2: the tree. When our family was young, we used to

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Speaker 2: travel up the freeway every Christmas Day. We were either

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Speaker 2: staying with one family and then we traveled to the

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Speaker 2: other family, or we would be interstate and so we

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Speaker 2: actually weren't in our own home. The kids didn't wake

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Speaker 2: up in their own beds they didn't unwrap gifts under

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Speaker 2: theneath their own Christmas tree, and about I think our

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Speaker 2: eldest was about ten when they finally looked at us

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Speaker 2: and they just said, can we just wake up in

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Speaker 2: our own bed and have Christmas at home?

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Speaker 1: I remember telling I told my family that, and I'm

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Speaker 1: the oldest of six kids. Myself and my younger siblings

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Speaker 1: were like, I can't believe you're not going to show

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Speaker 1: up for Christmas. And I was like, well, I've got

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Speaker 1: my own family now, and they all accused me of

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Speaker 1: being really selfish. Over the years, several of them have

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Speaker 1: come to me and said, we gave you a really

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Speaker 1: hard time about that, but we're all feeling it now

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Speaker 1: because they've all got younger families who are growing, and

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Speaker 1: they're sort of going, it's really nice to wake up

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Speaker 1: in your own home on Christmas Day. But whether you

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Speaker 1: do or not, it really it's about if I say

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Speaker 1: this all the time, can spell love t im e

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Speaker 1: And of all the times of the year wh this

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Speaker 1: is supposed to happen, Christmas Day is the day where

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Speaker 1: you would expect that this would be absolute, where we're

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Speaker 1: really available for one another.

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Speaker 2: And I think if you were to ask each about kids, now,

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Speaker 2: what is their favorite Christmas experience? It is literally being

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Speaker 2: able to wake up together. They open up their stockings

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Speaker 2: on our bed, which is getting rather small these days

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Speaker 2: now that.

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Speaker 1: We've got all of these big bodies. Not to mention,

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Speaker 1: it's so and law who sits on the edge of

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Speaker 1: the bed as well.

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Speaker 2: Weird uncomfortable, and then we just enjoy time together. We

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Speaker 2: actually don't make a big deal about Christmas branch or

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Speaker 2: anything like that. We really just have a swim in

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Speaker 2: the pool, we'll go to the beach. But it literally

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Speaker 2: is a laid back, chill day where we're it's peaceful

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Speaker 2: in that we're not worried about anything else and we

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Speaker 2: are in the moment with each other.

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Speaker 1: And I need to just quickly add in case Jared's listening,

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Speaker 1: you can sit on the edge of our bed on

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Speaker 1: Christmas morning anytime. There's no problem. Just want to be

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Speaker 1: clear about that. So your two peas that our children

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Speaker 1: need the gifts that our children need this Christmas. Number one,

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Speaker 1: they need peace. That is well, we want to have

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Speaker 1: a home that has an absence of conflict. Doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to be hushed and quiet, but rather there's a peaceful

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Speaker 1: atmosphere where we can just enjoy being together, which ties

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Speaker 1: in with your second one, which is presence and not

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Speaker 1: the presence under the tree. Although let's be honest, if

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Speaker 1: they don't get any of those, they're going to be

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Speaker 1: pretty disappointed. They need both kinds of presents. They need

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Speaker 1: our presence and a few things to under up the

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Speaker 1: let's not talk about that going to be suffering financially

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Speaker 1: for years because of that one. So they're the two

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Speaker 1: that you come up with, the two piece that our

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Speaker 1: children need. I've also done a little bit of work

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Speaker 1: on this, Kylie.

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Speaker 2: Please tell me there's no penguins.

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Speaker 1: There are no penguins. You are absolutely safe, Mike. What

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Speaker 1: are your two piece? My two piece now that I've

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Speaker 1: been thinking about it. A number one playful, I think

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Speaker 1: on a Christmas Day, playfulness is about lightheartednurs bring that

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Speaker 1: joyful energy and counterbalancing the potential seriousness of peace, which

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Speaker 1: I'm not bagging. I actually quite like it. But you

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Speaker 1: can be peaceful and present and still be playful, yes,

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Speaker 1: of course. And I just I think if we can

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Speaker 1: remember that connection is about being seen and hurt in

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Speaker 1: value that doesn't always have to be serious like normally

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Speaker 1: when we're talking about connection and being present, we're talking

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Speaker 1: about being there and holding our children's hands as they

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Speaker 1: go through a big emotion and looking into their eyes

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Speaker 1: and validating and doing all of the emotion coaching stuff.

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Speaker 1: But you can be present and you can have peaceful interactions.

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Speaker 2: Is it about being at peace with yourself and at

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Speaker 2: peace with the relationships in the room.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and just playing. I think if we can play

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Speaker 1: some silly games and share some wonderfully bad dad jokes

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Speaker 1: and have unexpected fun.

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Speaker 2: And last year we did a whole heap of those

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Speaker 2: minute to Win It challenges.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, kids just loved it. It's so much fun.

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Speaker 1: It's about full engagement and enjoying each other's company. And

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Speaker 1: you know something that you didn't mention in your list

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Speaker 1: of things beginning with p You know what Our kids

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Speaker 1: don't need that starts with pea. They don't need perfection.

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Speaker 1: And we keep on shooting for perfection on Christmas Day

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Speaker 1: and you're just not going to get there. I think

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Speaker 1: that it's about delight and humor and presence and having

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Speaker 1: a peaceful day, and you're going to have a more

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Speaker 1: perfect Christmas that way than shooting for a perfect Christmas. Tree,

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Speaker 1: and a perfect layout and spread on the table, and

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Speaker 1: a perfectly cooked meal and a perfectly balanced diet, and

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Speaker 1: a perfectly wrapped gift. The perfection is irrelevant. It's about

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Speaker 1: playfulness so much more so. That's my first one.

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Speaker 2: What is your second?

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Speaker 1: My second one, I'm going to get a bit deep

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Speaker 1: on this one. We've made no secret of the fact

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Speaker 1: that we have a faith background, and so Christmas is

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Speaker 1: a really sacred time of year for us. It's a

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Speaker 1: time where we celebrate the birth of the individual, the

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Speaker 1: person that we believe is the most important person to

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Speaker 1: ever walk the planet. It's a time of reflection, it's

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Speaker 1: a time of recognizing Jesus in our lives. And so

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Speaker 1: I want to add purpose. Now, you don't have to

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Speaker 1: be religious for Christmas to be a time of purpose.

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Speaker 1: But I think that when we consider the meaningful aspects

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Speaker 1: of Christmas beyond consumerism and the surface level celebrations, and

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Speaker 1: we intentionally create traditions and develop shared values and connect

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Speaker 1: with the spiritual or the philosophical significance of the day

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Speaker 1: and of the season, it makes the day beautiful. And

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Speaker 1: so we have traditions around the purpose of Christmas in

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Speaker 1: our home where we open up the Bible, and we

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Speaker 1: read the Bible story from Luke chapter two and from Matthew,

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Speaker 1: and we spend time in that, and we spend time singing.

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Speaker 1: Not just root off the red Nose Reindeer and we

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Speaker 1: wish you a merry Christmas, but we spend time singing

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Speaker 1: silent night. And there's something deep and profound and meaningful

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Speaker 1: about having the pee of purpose in Christmas. This is

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Speaker 1: the pe that I think transforms Christmas from a potentially

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Speaker 1: chaotic event into an opportunity for really intentional family bonding.

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Speaker 1: A few years ago, I read a book called Born

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Speaker 1: This Happy Morning, and it introduced this idea of three

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Speaker 1: levels of Christmas. Level one is Santa and jingle bells

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Speaker 1: and decorating gift giving, and that's the level that most

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Speaker 1: of us are pretty happy going for on a Christmas day.

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Speaker 1: Level two is about remembering the reason for the season.

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Speaker 1: That is the beautiful, important part of Christmas. The Shepherds

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Speaker 1: Joseph and Mary, a baby born in a manger. But

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Speaker 1: level three Christmas is the love of Christ that he

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Speaker 1: would not only be born as a babe, but that

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Speaker 1: he would die on the cross for our sakes. And

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Speaker 1: I know there are a lot of people who are

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Speaker 1: listening who are not religious and might be rolling their

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Speaker 1: eyes or getting ready to push the fast forward thirty

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Speaker 1: seconds move to the end. But whether you've got the

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Speaker 1: religious tradition or some other purpose behind it, when we

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Speaker 1: invoke purpose and bring that into our conversation, when we

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Speaker 1: make that part of our Christmas, it feels different. It

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Speaker 1: gives it a depth and meaning that I think is

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Speaker 1: so valuable, and it's something that I'm looking forward to

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Speaker 1: on Christmas, even on Christmas Day as we celebrate that

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Speaker 1: level of Christmas with our kids as well.

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Speaker 2: Four gifts you won't find wrapped under any Christmas tree,

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Speaker 2: but will make such a difference to the way you

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Speaker 2: experienced Christmas this year. Peace, presence, playfulness, and purpose. So

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Speaker 2: we hope this makes your Christmas a merry and bright one.

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Speaker 1: We really hope that it's peaceful Christmas. We'll be back

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Speaker 1: tomorrow on the Happy Families Podcast with outmast I'll do

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Speaker 1: better tomorrow of the year. Thank you so much for listening.

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Speaker 1: The Happy Families Podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from

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Speaker 1: Bridge Media. For more information and details and ideas about

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Speaker 1: making your family happier, visit us at Happy Families dot com,

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Speaker 1: dot au,